Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
Speaker 1: is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hey everyone,
Speaker 1: my name's Blake Horseman and you may know me from
Speaker 1: the Bachelor franchise and currently on All Star Shore. I'm
Speaker 1: so happy to be guest hosting How Men Think. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna answer a few of your questions and try to
Speaker 1: help you understand how men think. But first this eleven
Speaker 1: Questions with Blake Corseman. Let's get into it. What am
Speaker 1: I known for? Um? Obviously, I'm known for the Bachelrette
Speaker 1: season I believe it was fourteen, and then a Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise season six. Now I'm currently filming Also Store,
Speaker 1: which is in its fourth episode. But if I had
Speaker 1: to see what I've known for the most, it would
Speaker 1: probably be Stagecoach. Um. That was kind of the drama
Speaker 1: in the big storyline in b I P. Six. Uh
Speaker 1: So that's probably the biggest thing we all kind of
Speaker 1: met down Stage Coach country music festival in California. If
Speaker 1: you haven't, you don't know what it is, but that's
Speaker 1: probably the biggest thing. Unknown for Who am I in
Speaker 1: my personal life? Well, honestly, so you know, I uh,
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty outgoing guy and extroverted in public. And
Speaker 1: you know, I, Um, I can be an entertainer a time.
Speaker 1: Most of the time, I'm an entertainer, especially you know,
Speaker 1: I DJ now for a living and things like that.
Speaker 1: But honestly, UM, I think my close friends, UM and
Speaker 1: family know that when I'm alone and in my personal life,
Speaker 1: I'm actually quite the opposite. I'm an introvert. I don't
Speaker 1: really I really stick to myself. I don't go out
Speaker 1: during the week you know, I kind of just hang
Speaker 1: out Netflix, chill, work out, that kind of thing. So
Speaker 1: um on the weekends. You know, I know how to
Speaker 1: turn it on everything, but my personal life I'm actually
Speaker 1: quite boring, to be honest. Um. Three shows that I'm
Speaker 1: currently binge watching. Okay, actually I got this because I
Speaker 1: just started one two days ago and I'm already like
Speaker 1: a season and a half in. But The news Room
Speaker 1: on HBO Max incredible writing, incredible show I've been watching
Speaker 1: that I binged all of Stranger Things are yeah, Stranger Things,
Speaker 1: And then, um, what other shows have I binged lately?
Speaker 1: I Mean I'm always rewatching one of those people who
Speaker 1: need to fall asleep to something to a television show.
Speaker 1: Always be watching Community and New Girl on Netflix. So
Speaker 1: those are two that I'm always constantly watching. Um, what
Speaker 1: is my favorite food? Let's see here. Uh, I love gosh.
Speaker 1: I would say my like guilty pleasure food. I love sushi.
Speaker 1: Put my guilty pleasures food to be like. Probably pizza.
Speaker 1: I just love pizza. You could any kind of pizza, deep, dish, thin, Chicago,
Speaker 1: New York, all the kind of styles. I love pizza. Uh,
Speaker 1: tell us about my career. Yeah, so you know, obviously
Speaker 1: a lot has changed since I was on a basherette
Speaker 1: roughly four years ago. I currently, I've always been a
Speaker 1: big music guy. I was always the ox cord guy
Speaker 1: at parties. I was always the guy finding new music
Speaker 1: on YouTube, on SoundCloud, all that kind of stuff. So
Speaker 1: I've always been into music. And Um, obviously, coming off
Speaker 1: the show, you're giving a lot of different opportunities. You're
Speaker 1: given a platform, and I decided to know what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna pursue a passion of mind, something I love to do,
Speaker 1: and that is music. And so I decided a DJ.
Speaker 1: And Um, you know, I took classes. Um, I've created
Speaker 1: my own mixes, started producing, and that's why I do
Speaker 1: for a living now. Travel the world. Actually three countries
Speaker 1: this year or this month. Um, travel the world, dejaying.
Speaker 1: So never something I thought I'd be doing. Yet here
Speaker 1: I find myself really, really truly enjoying what I do
Speaker 1: and loving meeting people out on the road and kind
Speaker 1: of you know, meeting fans and that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: So that's what I do. I also have a podcast
Speaker 1: called Behind the Worse Podcast and um, yeah, so and
Speaker 1: then of course you know Instagram stuff all that fun stuff.
Speaker 1: So a lot of different things, but all things I
Speaker 1: never thought i'd be doing. So Uh, what is your
Speaker 1: biggest fear in life? Deep? Biggest fear in life would
Speaker 1: be probably, honestly, to die alone, to get real dark.
Speaker 1: You know. I think to be one of those people
Speaker 1: who you know, doesn't have a family, friends, anything like
Speaker 1: that around him when he passes. I think that's probably
Speaker 1: my biggest hear in life. Um, what is my biggest pet? Peeve? Honestly,
Speaker 1: I absolutely despise being late. I am one of those
Speaker 1: people whose early to everything and one of the most
Speaker 1: prompts humans you will ever meet. I just find that
Speaker 1: to be late to something is wildly disrespectful to the
Speaker 1: person you know who was either meeting their person who's
Speaker 1: putting on the event or whatever it is. So my
Speaker 1: biggest pet peeve is is being late, and that's not
Speaker 1: much closer. There's not many things that are even as
Speaker 1: close to that as big as pet peeve to me?
Speaker 1: What makes me most happy? Uh, that's hard. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'll just be honest. I'm a pretty easy guy to
Speaker 1: make happy. I'm pretty you know. Um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty lighthearted, level headed, that kind of thing. I
Speaker 1: think probably, I it's it's it's crazy because like I
Speaker 1: enjoy being on stage and entertaining and made people laugh,
Speaker 1: smile and dance while I'm you know, doing my craft.
Speaker 1: But then at the same time, I'm incredibly happy in
Speaker 1: bed binging Netflix. So um, then those are very very
Speaker 1: opposite on the spectrum. But those two things are probably
Speaker 1: what makes me the happiest when I'm either on stage
Speaker 1: entertaining orhen I'm in bed resting. So one of those
Speaker 1: two things for sure. Next question, what is your ideal
Speaker 1: Saturday morning? Uh? So my deal Saturday morning? Um, probably,
Speaker 1: you know, as much as people think like I go
Speaker 1: out party and drink all the time, I really don't.
Speaker 1: I'm working now, so you know, I don't go out
Speaker 1: to party, actually go out to work now, so I
Speaker 1: don't drink as much. Uh. So hopefully you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't go out the Friday before. But Sunday, Saturday, you
Speaker 1: wake up a couple of coffee in the hot tub,
Speaker 1: I go work out, get a good sweat in. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then Saturday, I either do something you know, with
Speaker 1: family or friends, something super casual in the daytime or
Speaker 1: of a day drinker. Maybe visit some breweries, um, go
Speaker 1: to top golf, maybe play a little golf, that kind
Speaker 1: of thing. Uh. And then honestly in bed early watching
Speaker 1: Netflix on a Saturday night. So um, those are probably
Speaker 1: that would be my ideal Saturday. Next question, are you
Speaker 1: more of an athletes or the armshare quarterback? I love
Speaker 1: that question. Uh, an athlete, I'm both Like I am
Speaker 1: also that person now who sits on you know, sits
Speaker 1: in the chair and yeels at the you know, the
Speaker 1: quarterbacks getting paid five million dollars. But I was an
Speaker 1: athlete back and then I still him an athlete. But
Speaker 1: I did play college football, actually was a quarterback um
Speaker 1: in college. So I I am an athletes. You know,
Speaker 1: I enjoy staying fit. I really put you know, I'm
Speaker 1: passionate about my health and what I eat and what,
Speaker 1: you know, the way I cheat my body. So, um,
Speaker 1: definitely I'm an athlete, but there are times when I'm
Speaker 1: watching some of my favorite sports that I am definitely
Speaker 1: an arm chair quarterback. What keeps you motivated? Uh, wow,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of different things, you know. I think
Speaker 1: one of the biggest things I went through, uh some
Speaker 1: things you know in Paradise and um, I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people counted me out. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people decided who I was based on a few
Speaker 1: you know, stories written, told and stuff on Paradise and
Speaker 1: so I think, honestly, one of the biggest motivations for
Speaker 1: me right now is as far as career wise, is
Speaker 1: the chip on my shoulder. I have a bit of
Speaker 1: a chip on my shoulder. I want to prove to
Speaker 1: everybody that, um, you know, I don't really I don't
Speaker 1: need the show, um to be successful and I'm able
Speaker 1: to find success on my own. Um. So that's probably
Speaker 1: the thing that motivates me the most right now is
Speaker 1: a chip on my shoulder. And then um, also my
Speaker 1: family and friends. You know, I think I have an
Speaker 1: incredible support system around me and they continue to motivate me.
Speaker 1: But that's probably the biggest thing as far as motivation
Speaker 1: career wise. So that's eleven questions with me, Blake Horseman.
Speaker 1: So now we'll take a little break and we'll come
Speaker 1: back with some questions from colors. Hi, Alexa, how are you?
Speaker 1: I'm good? How are you? I'm doing well? I heard
Speaker 1: you get a question for me fire away? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: sure do. Um, my boyfriend and his best friend do
Speaker 1: everything together. They're basically like attached at the hip and um, like,
Speaker 1: they run errands together. I'm always trying out new restaurants
Speaker 1: and honestly, I just want some quality time with him.
Speaker 1: So how do I ask for this without making him
Speaker 1: feel like he's choosing me over his friend? Yeah? Great question.
Speaker 1: So have you approached him at all kind of have
Speaker 1: you kind of dropped hints? Have you done that kind
Speaker 1: of thing with him? Uh? Yeah, I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe it'd be nice to have some alone time later.
Speaker 1: But I don't think he understands that that means without
Speaker 1: his friend, because uh, he showed up to my place
Speaker 1: with his friends, so the way I'd look at it,
Speaker 1: So it's good that you've been dropping hints because I
Speaker 1: was really my first thing. It's like slowly drop hints
Speaker 1: before you kind of like approach him about being like listen,
Speaker 1: like either it's he not necessarily like your friend or me,
Speaker 1: but it's more of like, you know, this is impeding
Speaker 1: our ability, um, to grow a relationship. But honestly, I
Speaker 1: think the way I look at it, the reason maybe
Speaker 1: he's doing this UM bringing his friend around UM is
Speaker 1: maybe because he's he's scared UM. You know. I think
Speaker 1: maybe he has, you know, an issue with being not
Speaker 1: necessarily alone with you, but he has, you know, an
Speaker 1: issue of like what is our you know, conversation is
Speaker 1: going to be like that kind of thing? What does
Speaker 1: our relationship look like when he's not in it? And
Speaker 1: I think that's maybe fearful to him, like what does
Speaker 1: our relationship look like when we don't have this quote
Speaker 1: unquote like third wheel? So I think that's the way
Speaker 1: I'd be approached it, be like are you Instead of
Speaker 1: like throwing all the blame on him, I'd be like
Speaker 1: am I Like am I doing something that is like
Speaker 1: are you scared to be you know alone with me?
Speaker 1: Like do you always have to have this crutch of
Speaker 1: your friend with you? Like? Am I doing something and
Speaker 1: then maybe that will at least create the communication and
Speaker 1: then you can have the open dialogue of why he
Speaker 1: keeps bringing his friends around constantly when you want to
Speaker 1: have some you know, one on one time. Got it?
Speaker 1: So I need to put it on him. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would say. I would just be like, listen, like why
Speaker 1: I just asked, Just be like, why do you need
Speaker 1: this crutch of your friend when you're around me? You know,
Speaker 1: I understand that you guys are close, and I love that,
Speaker 1: Like you'd rather have it? You know, I don't know
Speaker 1: you'd rather have it, but you definitely want somebody who
Speaker 1: has a life outside of your relationship. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, it can't it can't be too much like
Speaker 1: it sounds like it is. At least yeah, definitely, Um,
Speaker 1: I I definitely feel like it's impacting our ability to
Speaker 1: connect and friends. Nice, but I didn't want two boyfriends.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's a seat. That's a good way to
Speaker 1: put it. Be like, listen, I didn't sign up for
Speaker 1: two boyfriends. Like I want us to get close. And
Speaker 1: I think, maybe you know, I'm trying to be you know,
Speaker 1: I guess optimistic here, but maybe he doesn't really understand.
Speaker 1: Just how much it is impacting you and how hard
Speaker 1: it's become for you and your relationship, and maybe if
Speaker 1: you kind of just talk to him about it and'll
Speaker 1: be like, wow, you know, I don't I don't want
Speaker 1: to lose you and I don't want to relationship to
Speaker 1: take steps backwards. Um, I'll make a change, you know,
Speaker 1: got it? Got it? Okay, I think that sounds fair, dude.
Speaker 1: I hope that. I hope that helps because you're not
Speaker 1: the in trust me, You're not alone in this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there are a lot of women out there who have
Speaker 1: the same problem because yeah, Min running packs. We'll put
Speaker 1: it that way, Min running packs. So oh I always
Speaker 1: thought it was the other way around. Unfortunately it's both.
Speaker 1: It's both. Okay, Well, thank you very much. Absolutely, have
Speaker 1: a good one. Alexa. Hi Aubrey, how are you. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm doing okay, I'm doing well. Thank you. I heard
Speaker 1: you got a question for him and see if I
Speaker 1: can help you out. Yeah, definitely. So I'm living with
Speaker 1: my boyfriend where we've been in a relationship for a while. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm the bread wridden winner, like I make more money. Um.
Speaker 1: And my boyfriend he just quit his job of ten years.
Speaker 1: He was really stressed out, and he's looking for something else,
Speaker 1: but he doesn't seem to be looking as hard as
Speaker 1: as he should. Um, And I told him I would
Speaker 1: support him through his transition, but it just feels like
Speaker 1: it's taking a really long time, longer than expected. And
Speaker 1: you know, since I'm making the money, I I want
Speaker 1: to support him, but I don't want like to feel
Speaker 1: like a burden, you know. Yeah, yeah, Um, that is
Speaker 1: a predicament. So how long how long currently has he
Speaker 1: been I guess unemployed or at least searching for a job. Roughly, Um,
Speaker 1: it's been like six or seven months. That is a
Speaker 1: long time. That really is so first of all, I
Speaker 1: don't think you're in the wrong to ask this question
Speaker 1: or to actually just feel the way that you're feeling
Speaker 1: right now, because that is a long time, six seven months,
Speaker 1: especially with you providing for him and supporting him, and
Speaker 1: which by the way, is amazing. UM. So are you
Speaker 1: kind of are you kind of wondering, like how do
Speaker 1: you approach the conversation with him, and like how do
Speaker 1: you light a fire under you know, under him if
Speaker 1: you will? Yeah, Like sometimes I'll ask him questions about
Speaker 1: what he did with his day to see I feel
Speaker 1: tell me about a new job interview or something, and
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think he's catching on. Uh, And
Speaker 1: I'll be honest. This is actually probably one of one
Speaker 1: of the hardest situations because men's egos are very fragile,
Speaker 1: Like coming from a man, our egos are very fragile.
Speaker 1: And if you know, we feel like, um, we're to
Speaker 1: a point where it's like, you know, you're obviously supporting
Speaker 1: and everything, and then you feel like we aren't that
Speaker 1: you don't feel like he isn't working hard to get
Speaker 1: that next job. It could it could become you know,
Speaker 1: a pretty big I don't want to I mean argument,
Speaker 1: I guess, or fight if you will, Like just let's
Speaker 1: just come from my experience. So this is a very
Speaker 1: delicate situation, fragile. So I think the one way to
Speaker 1: do it, at least for me if I was in
Speaker 1: his shoes, is to be like, listen, it's been six
Speaker 1: months now, Um, I think you just gotta straight up
Speaker 1: like be honest with him, because maybe he doesn't think
Speaker 1: he doesn't understand. I know you said you dropped some hints,
Speaker 1: but we're not the brightest people. So I would say,
Speaker 1: maybe you know, like just straight up ask him or
Speaker 1: tell him, and be like listening. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: mind supporting you and this, you know, I want to
Speaker 1: make sure that you find a job that you and
Speaker 1: joy because it sounds like maybe his job before he
Speaker 1: didn't enjoy, because that you know, if he finds a
Speaker 1: job he enjoys, it will help your relationship so much more,
Speaker 1: you know. Um, yeah, So I would say, listen, I
Speaker 1: understand you're taking your time, you're finding what you're passionate about,
Speaker 1: you're finding a job that you're going to enjoy going
Speaker 1: to every day. But at the same time, like you know,
Speaker 1: this agreement or deal whatever you wanna call that we have,
Speaker 1: I don't mind supporting you. But if you're not out
Speaker 1: there looking for a job that you know you're passionate
Speaker 1: about and that you love, then we gotta figure another
Speaker 1: you know, we gotta figure something else out. Um. But
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, it is a very delicate situation,
Speaker 1: like I said, because men's egos are so fragile. But
Speaker 1: I would just honestly approach him with honesty, to be
Speaker 1: completely honest with him. Definitely, all right. The biggest way
Speaker 1: to the frame is to be like listen, because it
Speaker 1: sounds like maybe he's looking, but just be like, you know,
Speaker 1: I know you're looking for like a passion job. You know,
Speaker 1: you're looking for something you're you know you're going to
Speaker 1: enjoy to go to. But at the same time, it's
Speaker 1: been six seven months. You know, we gotta we gotta
Speaker 1: figure out something else. Even if it's like him, get
Speaker 1: a job now on the side, I don't know, you know,
Speaker 1: a gas stations and whatever it is. Wow, he finds
Speaker 1: this job he's passionate about. You could frame it in
Speaker 1: that sense too. Definitely, Yeah, well, thank you so much. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I hope that helped a little bit. Already definitely already
Speaker 1: have a good one too. And Danielle, how are you
Speaker 1: blake here? Hey? How's it going? Oh, I'm going I'm
Speaker 1: doing pretty good, actually doing pretty good. Can't complain. I
Speaker 1: heard you got a question for me. I can help
Speaker 1: you out, yes please? Um? Okay. So I am single
Speaker 1: and ready to mingle, right and um, I go to
Speaker 1: bars and I feel like I feel like I'm putting
Speaker 1: out that vibe. Um, but guys aren't coming up to
Speaker 1: me as much as I expected, as much as I thought. Um,
Speaker 1: it's like everyone seems to be on their phones or
Speaker 1: like in a group. Um so, I guess my question
Speaker 1: is what would be a cool way to start like
Speaker 1: a fun conversation or what could I do to I
Speaker 1: don't know, catch their attention and took away from their
Speaker 1: friends or you. Yeah, no solid question, um And I
Speaker 1: think a lot of women lately do feel this. I
Speaker 1: mean obviously that the phone thing, and like the them
Speaker 1: being honestly like so worried about themselves and they don't
Speaker 1: look up from their phone or whatever it is, and
Speaker 1: you know, and men are terrified of rejection. Like I'll
Speaker 1: just put that out there. Men are terrified of rejection. Um.
Speaker 1: So that could be one of the reasons they're they're
Speaker 1: afraid to put themselves out there to come up to you.
Speaker 1: So if you see somebody, let's say, you know what,
Speaker 1: you see a cute guy or whatever it is, and
Speaker 1: or somebody who intrigues you. Honestly, it's it sounds like
Speaker 1: so cliche, but one of the biggest things is if
Speaker 1: if you for me, what I used to do is
Speaker 1: eye contact, right you you make some eye contact and
Speaker 1: if they linger, I always call it lingering eye contact.
Speaker 1: If there's some lingering eye contact there, then I think
Speaker 1: that's when you and men love it, at least I do.
Speaker 1: I think most men love when women make move um,
Speaker 1: as long as it's not too over the top and
Speaker 1: simply walking up and being like introducing your name and
Speaker 1: saying kind of buy you a drink. I know that
Speaker 1: sounds so boring and cliche, but that would work on
Speaker 1: me every time. Especially And you know what it's like
Speaker 1: when you feel that like attraction or you feel that
Speaker 1: you get that lingering eye contact, you're like, oh, like
Speaker 1: you know, he checked me out, or oh he's like
Speaker 1: you know, he's looked over here five times. Then it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: there's something here. So the way for him to come
Speaker 1: to you just do it yourself. Just introduce you, can
Speaker 1: I buy you a drink, or just introduce yourself in
Speaker 1: general and they be like, what are you doing here?
Speaker 1: You know, one of those things. But I think the
Speaker 1: key is that lingering eye contact and just noticing that
Speaker 1: he's looking at you a few times. Okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So that's what I always say, lingering one contact. If
Speaker 1: I noticed shiming across the bar and we linger eye contact,
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, time to make a move. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: that's what I would say it sounds awesome. Okay, good well,
Speaker 1: I hope good luck out there, good luck out there.
Speaker 1: It's it's not easy dating. I know it's not. All right,
Speaker 1: We'll have a good one. Thank you. Right, Hi, Amanda
Speaker 1: Blake here heard you might have a question for me.
Speaker 1: We can help you out with he yes. Um, so
Speaker 1: this is so awkward. I just I started like casually
Speaker 1: dating this guy was like the single dad of two kids,
Speaker 1: and I really like him. We had like a few
Speaker 1: great dates and um, we're not exclusive per se. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but um, he also told me that he wasn't like
Speaker 1: dating anybody else, so um yeah, and like recently he's
Speaker 1: been going on what he says, our business trips, so
Speaker 1: we haven't seen each other, you know, in a little while.
Speaker 1: But um, the thing my question is, I saw him
Speaker 1: get tagged on Instagram in a photo with like this
Speaker 1: girl at music festival. Um, and like, I know we're
Speaker 1: not exclusive, but I'm just like I'm more upset that
Speaker 1: he lied about it, you know. And you know, I
Speaker 1: just lied that he was on a busy this trip
Speaker 1: and then he wasn't seeing anyone else, and I'm just
Speaker 1: so I'm just wondering, like should I call him out
Speaker 1: for line to me, I mean, and also like, how
Speaker 1: do I bring it up because I was snooping? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we all snoop though, don't feel guilty at that, we
Speaker 1: all snoop. Uh, you know, I would say the biggest
Speaker 1: thing is first to find out, right, like, maybe that's
Speaker 1: his I mean, you know, I'm thinking optimistically here, maybe
Speaker 1: that's his cousin, Maybe that's whatever. It is. Always find
Speaker 1: out before you you know, more or less like getting
Speaker 1: mad at I'm always find out if it's true. So
Speaker 1: the way I had approach um, the opening to the
Speaker 1: conversations being like, listen, I just want you to know
Speaker 1: we're not exclusive. I know that, you know, we've talked
Speaker 1: about that. But at the same time, I want to
Speaker 1: be safe. Um, so I would like to know if
Speaker 1: you are sleeping with anybody else, if you are seeing
Speaker 1: anybody else. Um. I know. Actually, honestly, I've been approached
Speaker 1: that way, and I thought it was a really mature
Speaker 1: and a great point, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, you're right, like we do need
Speaker 1: to talk about this because this is you know, you know,
Speaker 1: sexual safety or whatever you want to call it, is
Speaker 1: something that is really important and so to me it
Speaker 1: was like, okay, you're right, I need to be honest,
Speaker 1: completely honest. So that would be how I approached to
Speaker 1: find out whether or not, you know, he is seeing
Speaker 1: anybody else, he's sleeping with anybody else, whatever it is. Um.
Speaker 1: And if he straight up says, you know, no, I'm not,
Speaker 1: then maybe be like, well listen, I'll just be honest.
Speaker 1: I saw this picture of you, tag like, I just
Speaker 1: want to know who this is. It'll be interesting to
Speaker 1: see if he fumbles around a little bit, if he uh,
Speaker 1: you know, he looks to the left or whatever it
Speaker 1: is that they do in people life. Um. And if
Speaker 1: he you know, if he's caught red hand, or if
Speaker 1: he's honest and he's like, yeah, I am, you know,
Speaker 1: kind of seeing somebody else, then you have to decide
Speaker 1: is this do you want to be exclusive? Because sometimes
Speaker 1: it takes a little you know, kicking the stomach to
Speaker 1: realize that you want to be exclusive with somebody. You know,
Speaker 1: sometimes it takes something like this to realize, oh, I
Speaker 1: care about this person more and I think and it
Speaker 1: could happen for him too. Maybe he realizes if you say,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm now like, I just don't really feel comfortable.
Speaker 1: He might be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, um, I'll
Speaker 1: dump this other person all stop seeing this other person.
Speaker 1: I'll be with you. So um, that's kind of crossroads
Speaker 1: I think you'll be at after you figure out if
Speaker 1: he's seeing anybody else. It's like, do you decide if
Speaker 1: you still want to continue seeing him and you want
Speaker 1: to make it exclusive, or maybe does he still want
Speaker 1: to see you and make it exclusive. So um, this
Speaker 1: one little conversation can actually lead to a pretty big
Speaker 1: breakthrough I think in your conversation or in your relationship. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's kind of
Speaker 1: how I approach it. Hopefully that helps a little bit,
Speaker 1: because that is not easy. I've been there, We've all
Speaker 1: been there. No, it's not easy. But that gives me
Speaker 1: at least a direction to go in because I was
Speaker 1: just flailing. Yeah. Yeah, hopefully it helps. Yeah, Like that's
Speaker 1: a good way to put a direction in direction to
Speaker 1: go in. So yeah, okay, thank you so much. Astute Amanda.
Speaker 1: Yeah you have a going too. Hi, Rebecca Blake here,
Speaker 1: how are you? I'm good? Are you? Oh? I'm doing
Speaker 1: all right? So do you might have a little problem.
Speaker 1: I can maybe help you out with Oh, yeah, so
Speaker 1: you know, my best friends, we've always been very open
Speaker 1: about talking about our relationships, but now their relationships went
Speaker 1: so well. They're all married, but I'm not so so
Speaker 1: like now our conversations are different and I'm the only
Speaker 1: one talking about my relationship, and like their marriages are different.
Speaker 1: I get it, like marriages marriage, but I feel like
Speaker 1: they aren't really adding any input anymore. And I'm not
Speaker 1: really sure if, like, should I keep giving my dating
Speaker 1: information and all of that, or should I just back
Speaker 1: off and realized that this is just the way it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: good question. First of all, I know exactly how you feel.
Speaker 1: All my friends are married with kids, Like, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: I went to a bachelor party the other night and
Speaker 1: it was like us, I was like, you guys are
Speaker 1: all married, aren't you, Like it was crazy. So I
Speaker 1: understand where you're coming from. Um, I think personally, you know, again,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not entirely show obviously can't get in
Speaker 1: the brains of your friends, but I think maybe they
Speaker 1: in a way feel guilty talking about, you know, their
Speaker 1: relationship and what they've learned and things like that, because
Speaker 1: maybe there's you know, there's obviously the stigma like you
Speaker 1: need to get married and you have kids, all this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and so maybe they're feeling they're trying
Speaker 1: to put your feelings first. Uh, and they're kind of
Speaker 1: worried about, you know, hurting your feelings by talking about
Speaker 1: their relationships. So one of the easiest ways I think
Speaker 1: maybe would just to be approaching me, like, listen, it
Speaker 1: doesn't bother me that you guys are in a happy relationship,
Speaker 1: Like it is something I'm striving for, and I would
Speaker 1: love your input. I would love you guys advice even
Speaker 1: more now than maybe before because you have found the person,
Speaker 1: you have worked through issues, problems, whatever it is. So
Speaker 1: I would just be honest with and be like, listen,
Speaker 1: you're not hurting my feelings, like I would love to
Speaker 1: hear and put from you guys, because I think maybe
Speaker 1: they're just scared to hurt your feeling. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: know we still have a good friendship, which is that
Speaker 1: dynamics change. So yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think just maybe that and especially if that's the only
Speaker 1: thing that's changed, if you still have an incredible friendship,
Speaker 1: you guys talk about everything else, but that's the one
Speaker 1: thing that you're not really talking about. I think maybe
Speaker 1: they're scared approach to breach the subject just because it
Speaker 1: might be uncomfortable for you. So maybe I would just
Speaker 1: express to them it's not uncomfortable and please, you know,
Speaker 1: help me out. We need some of to So yeah,
Speaker 1: well I'm not the babysitter for them yet. So you
Speaker 1: got yeah, Yeah, that's good. That's a good thing. It's
Speaker 1: coming so awesome. I hope that helped a little bit.
Speaker 1: All Right, cool, thank you. Yeah, absolutely have a good one.
Speaker 1: You already, Well, that will do it for our callers.
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a little break here and then we're
Speaker 1: gonna ask some questions answers for me already and we're
Speaker 1: back now and we're gonna ask some Q and A
Speaker 1: to me here. Uh. So we know you're from the
Speaker 1: Bachelotte fourteen season with Becca Koufern. How much has your
Speaker 1: life changed since then? Honestly, it'd be easier to ask
Speaker 1: what has stayed the same. Uh In the last four years,
Speaker 1: my life has completely changed and almost almost every aspect,
Speaker 1: to be completely honest. You know, I was before the show.
Speaker 1: I was selling beer. How I was working for Coopers.
Speaker 1: I was a beer sales rep for Coors Distributing Company
Speaker 1: here in Denver, Colorado. UM, I'm obviously not doing that anymore.
Speaker 1: I have some other opportunities. You know, I'm djaying full
Speaker 1: time now and traveling dj um and then also you know,
Speaker 1: I have a podcast of my own Behind the Worst Podcasts.
Speaker 1: And one of the coolest things about you know, coming
Speaker 1: on off, I should say, coming off a show like
Speaker 1: the Bacherette is the incredible opportunities and people you meet.
Speaker 1: And one of the things I do cherish and I
Speaker 1: do pride my cell phone is UM, nurturing relationships and
Speaker 1: nurturing you know, being a good networker if you will.
Speaker 1: So I think when I come off the show, I
Speaker 1: met some incredible people, people I never thought i'd meet,
Speaker 1: you know, celebrities, UM, incredible, you know, people in in
Speaker 1: industries like world leaders and industries like just crazy crazy stuff.
Speaker 1: And you know I'd be able to really cherish those
Speaker 1: relationships and nourish those relationships, and UM, gotten some incredible
Speaker 1: opportunities from it. And honestly, I travel now. I mean
Speaker 1: I'm hitting eight cities this month, so travel like crazy. Um,
Speaker 1: My life is way way a lot, you know, a
Speaker 1: lot crazier than before, and I love it. I love
Speaker 1: it to it agree, I'm definitely not bored. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, I do miss the the routine of
Speaker 1: a regular life. Um. But I'm happy where I am
Speaker 1: in my career, in my first life as well. Right now,
Speaker 1: so a lot has changed, to say the least. Has
Speaker 1: it gotten easier or harder to date? It get asked
Speaker 1: this quite a bit, and honestly, it's both. It's both.
Speaker 1: What I always say is things that were things about
Speaker 1: dating that were easier before the show are now harder.
Speaker 1: So getting a date, for example, a lot easier. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, the d m s are full, um, the
Speaker 1: just meeting people in general coming up, they come up
Speaker 1: to me and know me. So meeting people it's a
Speaker 1: lot easier. Um. But then having a genuine connection, which
Speaker 1: I think was easier before the show, is now harder
Speaker 1: after the show. So you know, it's a little harder
Speaker 1: to know whose um intentions are right um, because you
Speaker 1: know you have people who maybe just on the Instagram
Speaker 1: followers I want the cloud or want to meet a
Speaker 1: famous person that's levet, whatever you want to call it. Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's some things are easier, some things are harder,
Speaker 1: things that were easier before the show and how harder
Speaker 1: and things that are harder for the show now easier. So, um,
Speaker 1: it's just as hard to date though, you know, in general,
Speaker 1: like it's just as hard to date as it was
Speaker 1: before the show. Uh. You recently came out publicly that
Speaker 1: you're dating Giannina Jibelli from Love is Blind. You two
Speaker 1: met on All Star Shore. Did you expect to find
Speaker 1: love on the show? Great questions. So yes, me and
Speaker 1: Jean and Nina we did find a pretty amazing relationship
Speaker 1: while filming All Star Shore. And honestly, no, I not
Speaker 1: only did I not expect to find love on the show,
Speaker 1: but I told myself not to find love on the show.
Speaker 1: I told myself to stay away from relationships, to stay
Speaker 1: away from that. You've done that twice now on two
Speaker 1: different shows. It's a competition show, like have fun, show
Speaker 1: your fun side. Um, don't fall for anybody, but not. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: Fortunately I didn't meet Janina pretty quickly, and um, right
Speaker 1: away we kind of hit it off, and I'm so
Speaker 1: glad we did. Obviously, I'm so glad you know it
Speaker 1: happened the way it did, because I'm incredibly happy, right now, Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, neither of us anticipated finding anybody on this show,
Speaker 1: so it's quite the surprise, but it was the best surprise.
Speaker 1: Tell us how your relationship started when we see a
Speaker 1: play out on All Star Shore. Yeah, so currently we
Speaker 1: are this week so um, this week will be on
Speaker 1: episode four of All Star Shore. And you've kind of
Speaker 1: seen a little bit of you know, some of our
Speaker 1: first conversations, some of our first um ups and downs,
Speaker 1: even in the relationship right off the bats. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, UM, there's still a lot to be seen.
Speaker 1: There's still a lot that happens in our relationship in
Speaker 1: the next roughly six seven episodes whatever we have left. Um.
Speaker 1: But I think one of the coolest things in one
Speaker 1: of the that you saw kind of in the first
Speaker 1: two episodes is obviously we're culturally a lot different, right,
Speaker 1: you know, she's born in Venezuela. First thing where just
Speaker 1: the Spanish, um, her culture, you know, is incredible. And
Speaker 1: I'm this you know gringo who's just like you know,
Speaker 1: your normal uh, you know, all American white boy. So
Speaker 1: at the same time, we're very different, but we've been
Speaker 1: through a lot of life experiences, um that are very
Speaker 1: similar and so we're looking for the same things in
Speaker 1: a partner, and you kind of see that the first
Speaker 1: few episodes of us like having these moments of connecting
Speaker 1: and and realizing, oh, like you know you're looking for this,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for that as well. And we we've been
Speaker 1: through these life experiences that help us more or less
Speaker 1: deal with, you know, conflict in our relationship or deal
Speaker 1: with certain moments maybe in past relationships that we would
Speaker 1: have blown a gasket or we would have freaked out,
Speaker 1: it would have been the end of things. So it's
Speaker 1: pretty cool to see, you know, how these life experiences
Speaker 1: and pass relationships um have kind of created, you know,
Speaker 1: this perfect atmosphere for us to create a relationship with. So,
Speaker 1: but continue to watch. There's still a lot that happens
Speaker 1: on All Star Shore. Um. How early on did you
Speaker 1: know it was love? Um? That's one of those things
Speaker 1: where obviously, you know, I've said I love you pretty
Speaker 1: quick on the mashirette, you know, I said it within
Speaker 1: you know, weeks, um, And on Paradise I didn't say it,
Speaker 1: you know, And I went through a couple different relationships
Speaker 1: in Paradise, but I didn't want it to be a
Speaker 1: rushed thing like I wanted to take my time. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, obviously for her, she was engaged within like
Speaker 1: eight days or whatever it was. In love is blind,
Speaker 1: so I think there was moments where we felt it,
Speaker 1: but we didn't want to rush things like what was
Speaker 1: the rush? You know, we don't have producers breathing down
Speaker 1: our neck, being like say it, say it, Say it
Speaker 1: if you feel it's say it. So we did take
Speaker 1: our time. And you know, although I did feel you know,
Speaker 1: love for her pretty early on, I did wait until,
Speaker 1: you know, quite a few months in to say it,
Speaker 1: just because I wanted to be sure. I didn't want
Speaker 1: I always said the next person I would go public with,
Speaker 1: you know, it's gonna be a very serious relationship and
Speaker 1: someone I could see myself spending my life with. So
Speaker 1: we took our time. Um, and that's not for everybody.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sit here and act like taking your
Speaker 1: time as the answer, you know, answered end all. But
Speaker 1: for me, it was something I wanted to do in
Speaker 1: this relationship because obviously me love bombing or whatever you
Speaker 1: want to call it, in the past love blowing each
Speaker 1: other didn't work. So I want to try something a
Speaker 1: little different this than it's it's been fantastic. Um, since
Speaker 1: you are you guys are both reality stars and in
Speaker 1: the public eye. Does that add a different awareness to
Speaker 1: the relationship. Great question, So I actually believe it or not.
Speaker 1: I had never really dated in public, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Bacherettes. When it was airing, I was obviously
Speaker 1: I was not, you know, the final pick. So I
Speaker 1: didn't was it wasn't dating anybody then coming off Paradise,
Speaker 1: I didn't finish Paradise in a relationship. So I had
Speaker 1: actually never dated in public. And I I've seen a
Speaker 1: lot of my friends dating public, and it is incredibly difficult.
Speaker 1: You have a lot of eyes on your relationship, a
Speaker 1: lot of opinions about your relationship that can seep into
Speaker 1: you know, you can't ignore everything and I can see
Speaker 1: in your relationship. So I actually leaned on g a
Speaker 1: lot for that because she had dated in the public,
Speaker 1: and so I was very nervous. I'm sitting in act
Speaker 1: like I was, and I was very nervous to go public. Um.
Speaker 1: But you know, she was obviously incredible, and she explained
Speaker 1: to me kind of what to expect. And actually it's
Speaker 1: been so far, I mean, really, you know, maybe a
Speaker 1: couple weeks in. But it's been amazing. Um. There hasn't
Speaker 1: really been any any moments so far where I felt like,
Speaker 1: you know, there was you know, people were having opinions
Speaker 1: and they were seeping into my relationship where I was
Speaker 1: aware of things are being said in the media on
Speaker 1: social media, on Twitter or whatever it is. Um, So
Speaker 1: so far, it's been amazing and the support has been incredible. UM,
Speaker 1: and it's been easier than I anticipated. I'm sure that's
Speaker 1: will change. Um it's ever easy to date uh in
Speaker 1: the public eye. But UM, yeah, I can't really speak
Speaker 1: to that so far because it's all been it's all
Speaker 1: been pretty awesome and pretty amazing. So next question, UM,
Speaker 1: why did you wait to publicly share your relationship? Obviously
Speaker 1: we were you know, contractually obligated for the most part
Speaker 1: two hot our eye ship because of All Star Shore. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, it had filmed in December. We went public
Speaker 1: just a few weeks ago, so it's been about almost
Speaker 1: seven months. We've been dating for seven months privately, and
Speaker 1: actually I'm so glad we did. Um, it's been you know,
Speaker 1: putting that added pressure of the public eye on our
Speaker 1: relationship very early, I think can be hard on a relationship. Um,
Speaker 1: and although you know we did, you know, at times
Speaker 1: want to share, you know, what we have and share
Speaker 1: some really fun moments that we've had together of the
Speaker 1: last seven months. At the end of the day, we're
Speaker 1: really glad that we did wait. And we're really glad
Speaker 1: even if it was quote you know, more or less
Speaker 1: quote unquote forced, We're so glad we didn't. I think
Speaker 1: if we did it again, even if we weren't forced,
Speaker 1: we'd wait until a relationship really had a solid foundation
Speaker 1: of solid core before we decided to go public. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I'm glad we did what we did, and I'm
Speaker 1: glad it worked out the way it did. But I'm
Speaker 1: glad republic now, I'm not gonna lie honest some dating questions.
Speaker 1: Is it true when a man wants to be with someone,
Speaker 1: he will be with her no matter what. So I've
Speaker 1: I'm old enough. I'm thirty three, right, I've been in
Speaker 1: a lot of different relationships, Um, a lot of crazy relationships,
Speaker 1: you know, based on just reality TV alone. UM. I
Speaker 1: used to think, yes, I used to think if a
Speaker 1: man or a woman wanted to be with somebody, they
Speaker 1: would make worth work no matter what, Like that used
Speaker 1: to be a philosophy of mine was like, if you
Speaker 1: want to be with me, you'll be with me. If
Speaker 1: I want to be with you, I'll be with you.
Speaker 1: But the more I've learned, the more I've grown, the
Speaker 1: more life experience I have, I realized that there really
Speaker 1: is a thing called bad timing. I truly do believe that.
Speaker 1: And I think there are certain relationships that will work
Speaker 1: at a certain time in your life and certain relationships
Speaker 1: that won't. And I'm one of those firm believers that
Speaker 1: you do have multiple loves in your life. There's like,
Speaker 1: you know, I can't remember what movie or maybe even
Speaker 1: a book that I read where it was like, you know,
Speaker 1: there's certain loves in your life at certain points in
Speaker 1: your life when you're ready to accept certain amounts of love.
Speaker 1: So I think, No, I don't think to answer the question,
Speaker 1: you know. Finally, No, I think that there are certain
Speaker 1: moments in life where you are willing to accept love.
Speaker 1: And you're a good point professionally, personally we're able to
Speaker 1: accept love and give love. So no, I think, even
Speaker 1: though maybe you have this intense feelings and you know,
Speaker 1: if you're passionate about somebody, sometimes it won't work because
Speaker 1: of timing. Uh so, yeah, that's something that's changed over time.
Speaker 1: But no, I think there are You have to be
Speaker 1: ready to accept love and give love just as much
Speaker 1: as your partner, and sometimes that that's you know, neither
Speaker 1: or both or one isn't ready to do that. So
Speaker 1: timing is everything. I really do believe that. Do you
Speaker 1: think it's better to call or text when you're starting
Speaker 1: to date someone? Oh? I hate being on the phone.
Speaker 1: I am one of those stupid millennial gen's whatever you
Speaker 1: want to call us on one of the gen X
Speaker 1: gen zs whatever. I do not like talking on the phone.
Speaker 1: So for me, especially to start a relationship, texting texting
Speaker 1: for me is huge. Now I am not a like,
Speaker 1: I don't play the game of like I'll wait a
Speaker 1: couple of hours of text back. I'm you know, I
Speaker 1: text right away, especially when I'm into somebody or I'm
Speaker 1: dating somebody at text right away. Um so I think
Speaker 1: that's more of a red flag. Is like, if you're
Speaker 1: texting and they wait six seven hours of text back
Speaker 1: days the text back, then that's like they're not into you.
Speaker 1: But once you get to a certain degree, Actually, I
Speaker 1: think not even phone call like I think, I skip
Speaker 1: phone call, I go straight to face time. Like face
Speaker 1: times are enormous, and relationships, um so texting to start,
Speaker 1: skip phone calls, go straight into facetiming. That's that's my advice,
Speaker 1: or at least that's what I do in relationships. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well answer uh last question here. Do you think it's
Speaker 1: always the guy's job to pay for the first date?
Speaker 1: This is a great question, because, um, the first date
Speaker 1: changes things. I do think maybe that first especially if
Speaker 1: he asked you on a date. I think if he
Speaker 1: asked you on a date, women, and he takes you out,
Speaker 1: he picks the date, he picks you up, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: I do think then you know, he should pay for
Speaker 1: the first date. But then I think moving forward, I'm
Speaker 1: very much a fifty fifty kind of guy, Like I
Speaker 1: very much believe that, like you know, you pick up
Speaker 1: one date, he picks up the next. You split dates,
Speaker 1: you split bills, whatever it is. But I do think
Speaker 1: that first date, especially if he asked you on the date,
Speaker 1: I do think that he should pay for the first date.
Speaker 1: But hey, if a woman asked the man on the date,
Speaker 1: maybe she should pay for the first date. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? I'm not into the whole you know,
Speaker 1: nine should pay for everything thing. I think it should
Speaker 1: be fifty um, and I think, um, I think everything
Speaker 1: internation ship should be fifty so not just the money,
Speaker 1: you know. So so yeah, that'll do it for questions. UM. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so thank you guys so much for listening. Really appreciate again.
Speaker 1: Money is Blake Horseman. Um. You'll see me out there
Speaker 1: on the road dejaying spinning hopefully in a city near you.
Speaker 1: You can check out my schedule at Blake Horseman dot com,
Speaker 1: where you can follow me on Instagram at billock A
Speaker 1: dot h Um. I do post you know, kind of
Speaker 1: the city's albeit I'm in a lot of different cities
Speaker 1: every month. And then follow and listen to Behind the
Speaker 1: Rose podcast on Instagram and uh on anything you listen
Speaker 1: to your to your podcast, whether that be UM, Apples, Spotify,
Speaker 1: all that stuff. UM, so tune into that. And yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks for listening to How Men Think? And I hope
Speaker 1: you enjoy this and hope I was able to help
Speaker 1: out a little bit. This is How Men Think and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio London Audio Production listen each Thursday on
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you
Speaker 1: get your pot guess