WEBVTT - How Men Think with Blake Horstmann 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:03.960 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:08.960 is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hey everyone, 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:11.280 my name's Blake Horseman and you may know me from 0:00:11.280 --> 0:00:14.520 the Bachelor franchise and currently on All Star Shore. I'm 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:17.360 so happy to be guest hosting How Men Think. I'm 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:19.239 gonna answer a few of your questions and try to 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.680 help you understand how men think. But first this eleven 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.920 Questions with Blake Corseman. Let's get into it. What am 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:30.000 I known for? Um? Obviously, I'm known for the Bachelrette 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:33.600 season I believe it was fourteen, and then a Bachelor 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:38.280 in Paradise season six. Now I'm currently filming Also Store, 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:40.879 which is in its fourth episode. But if I had 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:42.560 to see what I've known for the most, it would 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:46.440 probably be Stagecoach. Um. That was kind of the drama 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:50.519 in the big storyline in b I P. Six. Uh 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:52.320 So that's probably the biggest thing we all kind of 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.600 met down Stage Coach country music festival in California. If 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:56.360 you haven't, you don't know what it is, but that's 0:00:56.360 --> 0:01:00.080 probably the biggest thing. Unknown for Who am I in 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:03.480 my personal life? Well, honestly, so you know, I uh, 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:06.800 I'm a pretty outgoing guy and extroverted in public. And 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.600 you know, I, Um, I can be an entertainer a time. 0:01:09.640 --> 0:01:11.440 Most of the time, I'm an entertainer, especially you know, 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:13.320 I DJ now for a living and things like that. 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:17.120 But honestly, UM, I think my close friends, UM and 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:19.840 family know that when I'm alone and in my personal life, 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:22.119 I'm actually quite the opposite. I'm an introvert. I don't 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:25.280 really I really stick to myself. I don't go out 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:27.119 during the week you know, I kind of just hang 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:29.399 out Netflix, chill, work out, that kind of thing. So 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:31.200 um on the weekends. You know, I know how to 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:32.960 turn it on everything, but my personal life I'm actually 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:37.800 quite boring, to be honest. Um. Three shows that I'm 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:40.000 currently binge watching. Okay, actually I got this because I 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:41.760 just started one two days ago and I'm already like 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.160 a season and a half in. But The news Room 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:49.240 on HBO Max incredible writing, incredible show I've been watching 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:52.680 that I binged all of Stranger Things are yeah, Stranger Things, 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:55.280 And then, um, what other shows have I binged lately? 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:57.880 I Mean I'm always rewatching one of those people who 0:01:57.880 --> 0:01:59.840 need to fall asleep to something to a television show. 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:04.240 Always be watching Community and New Girl on Netflix. So 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:08.280 those are two that I'm always constantly watching. Um, what 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:12.680 is my favorite food? Let's see here. Uh, I love gosh. 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.359 I would say my like guilty pleasure food. I love sushi. 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:17.680 Put my guilty pleasures food to be like. Probably pizza. 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:22.240 I just love pizza. You could any kind of pizza, deep, dish, thin, Chicago, 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.919 New York, all the kind of styles. I love pizza. Uh, 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:28.200 tell us about my career. Yeah, so you know, obviously 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:30.600 a lot has changed since I was on a basherette 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:34.400 roughly four years ago. I currently, I've always been a 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.520 big music guy. I was always the ox cord guy 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.200 at parties. I was always the guy finding new music 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:41.239 on YouTube, on SoundCloud, all that kind of stuff. So 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:43.960 I've always been into music. And Um, obviously, coming off 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:46.480 the show, you're giving a lot of different opportunities. You're 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:48.080 given a platform, and I decided to know what I'm 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:50.560 gonna pursue a passion of mind, something I love to do, 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.000 and that is music. And so I decided a DJ. 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:55.840 And Um, you know, I took classes. Um, I've created 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:57.919 my own mixes, started producing, and that's why I do 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:00.840 for a living now. Travel the world. Actually three countries 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.760 this year or this month. Um, travel the world, dejaying. 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:07.239 So never something I thought I'd be doing. Yet here 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:10.520 I find myself really, really truly enjoying what I do 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:13.480 and loving meeting people out on the road and kind 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:14.840 of you know, meeting fans and that kind of thing. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.600 So that's what I do. I also have a podcast 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:20.440 called Behind the Worse Podcast and um, yeah, so and 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:22.520 then of course you know Instagram stuff all that fun stuff. 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:25.120 So a lot of different things, but all things I 0:03:25.160 --> 0:03:29.680 never thought i'd be doing. So Uh, what is your 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:34.080 biggest fear in life? Deep? Biggest fear in life would 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:39.520 be probably, honestly, to die alone, to get real dark. 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:41.840 You know. I think to be one of those people 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.680 who you know, doesn't have a family, friends, anything like 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:47.600 that around him when he passes. I think that's probably 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:54.600 my biggest hear in life. Um, what is my biggest pet? Peeve? Honestly, 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.320 I absolutely despise being late. I am one of those 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.120 people whose early to everything and one of the most 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:01.880 prompts humans you will ever meet. I just find that 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:05.160 to be late to something is wildly disrespectful to the 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.720 person you know who was either meeting their person who's 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:09.360 putting on the event or whatever it is. So my 0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:12.200 biggest pet peeve is is being late, and that's not 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.880 much closer. There's not many things that are even as 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:16.279 close to that as big as pet peeve to me? 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:20.880 What makes me most happy? Uh, that's hard. I mean, 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:22.839 I'll just be honest. I'm a pretty easy guy to 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:25.600 make happy. I'm pretty you know. Um, I don't know, 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:29.000 I'm pretty lighthearted, level headed, that kind of thing. I 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:31.880 think probably, I it's it's it's crazy because like I 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:34.440 enjoy being on stage and entertaining and made people laugh, 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.160 smile and dance while I'm you know, doing my craft. 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:39.600 But then at the same time, I'm incredibly happy in 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:43.159 bed binging Netflix. So um, then those are very very 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:46.560 opposite on the spectrum. But those two things are probably 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:49.039 what makes me the happiest when I'm either on stage 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:52.000 entertaining orhen I'm in bed resting. So one of those 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:56.800 two things for sure. Next question, what is your ideal 0:04:57.080 --> 0:05:01.560 Saturday morning? Uh? So my deal Saturday morning? Um, probably, 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.479 you know, as much as people think like I go 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:06.400 out party and drink all the time, I really don't. 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:08.520 I'm working now, so you know, I don't go out 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:10.200 to party, actually go out to work now, so I 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.760 don't drink as much. Uh. So hopefully you know, I 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.880 didn't go out the Friday before. But Sunday, Saturday, you 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:16.920 wake up a couple of coffee in the hot tub, 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:19.920 I go work out, get a good sweat in. Uh. 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:22.120 And then Saturday, I either do something you know, with 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:24.760 family or friends, something super casual in the daytime or 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:27.880 of a day drinker. Maybe visit some breweries, um, go 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:29.880 to top golf, maybe play a little golf, that kind 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:34.400 of thing. Uh. And then honestly in bed early watching 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:36.960 Netflix on a Saturday night. So um, those are probably 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:43.359 that would be my ideal Saturday. Next question, are you 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:46.360 more of an athletes or the armshare quarterback? I love 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:49.960 that question. Uh, an athlete, I'm both Like I am 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.320 also that person now who sits on you know, sits 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:54.240 in the chair and yeels at the you know, the 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:58.320 quarterbacks getting paid five million dollars. But I was an 0:05:58.360 --> 0:05:59.919 athlete back and then I still him an athlete. But 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:02.960 I did play college football, actually was a quarterback um 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:05.680 in college. So I I am an athletes. You know, 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:09.000 I enjoy staying fit. I really put you know, I'm 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.280 passionate about my health and what I eat and what, 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:13.080 you know, the way I cheat my body. So, um, 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:16.200 definitely I'm an athlete, but there are times when I'm 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:18.600 watching some of my favorite sports that I am definitely 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:22.960 an arm chair quarterback. What keeps you motivated? Uh, wow, 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:24.560 that's a lot of different things, you know. I think 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.480 one of the biggest things I went through, uh some 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:32.200 things you know in Paradise and um, I think a 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:34.240 lot of people counted me out. I think a lot 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.159 of people decided who I was based on a few 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:43.480 you know, stories written, told and stuff on Paradise and 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:45.400 so I think, honestly, one of the biggest motivations for 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.240 me right now is as far as career wise, is 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:49.480 the chip on my shoulder. I have a bit of 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:51.159 a chip on my shoulder. I want to prove to 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:53.840 everybody that, um, you know, I don't really I don't 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:56.760 need the show, um to be successful and I'm able 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.200 to find success on my own. Um. So that's probably 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:00.680 the thing that motivates me the most right now is 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:04.320 a chip on my shoulder. And then um, also my 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:06.000 family and friends. You know, I think I have an 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:09.040 incredible support system around me and they continue to motivate me. 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:11.520 But that's probably the biggest thing as far as motivation 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:15.000 career wise. So that's eleven questions with me, Blake Horseman. 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:17.680 So now we'll take a little break and we'll come 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:30.120 back with some questions from colors. Hi, Alexa, how are you? 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:33.800 I'm good? How are you? I'm doing well? I heard 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:37.120 you get a question for me fire away? Yeah, I 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:43.120 sure do. Um, my boyfriend and his best friend do 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:50.240 everything together. They're basically like attached at the hip and um, like, 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:54.400 they run errands together. I'm always trying out new restaurants 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:59.679 and honestly, I just want some quality time with him. 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:03.200 So how do I ask for this without making him 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:08.640 feel like he's choosing me over his friend? Yeah? Great question. 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.240 So have you approached him at all kind of have 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:13.040 you kind of dropped hints? Have you done that kind 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:18.240 of thing with him? Uh? Yeah, I was like, you know, 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:22.480 maybe it'd be nice to have some alone time later. 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.280 But I don't think he understands that that means without 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:32.120 his friend, because uh, he showed up to my place 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:38.880 with his friends, so the way I'd look at it, 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:40.400 So it's good that you've been dropping hints because I 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:42.200 was really my first thing. It's like slowly drop hints 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:45.160 before you kind of like approach him about being like listen, 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:48.200 like either it's he not necessarily like your friend or me, 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:50.680 but it's more of like, you know, this is impeding 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:53.880 our ability, um, to grow a relationship. But honestly, I 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:55.640 think the way I look at it, the reason maybe 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.839 he's doing this UM bringing his friend around UM is 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:03.240 maybe because he's he's scared UM. You know. I think 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:05.880 maybe he has, you know, an issue with being not 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.720 necessarily alone with you, but he has, you know, an 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:12.199 issue of like what is our you know, conversation is 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:13.440 going to be like that kind of thing? What does 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:15.320 our relationship look like when he's not in it? And 0:09:15.320 --> 0:09:17.120 I think that's maybe fearful to him, like what does 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.400 our relationship look like when we don't have this quote 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:21.920 unquote like third wheel? So I think that's the way 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.400 I'd be approached it, be like are you Instead of 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.079 like throwing all the blame on him, I'd be like 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.880 am I Like am I doing something that is like 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:31.160 are you scared to be you know alone with me? 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.160 Like do you always have to have this crutch of 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.560 your friend with you? Like? Am I doing something and 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.200 then maybe that will at least create the communication and 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:40.760 then you can have the open dialogue of why he 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:43.560 keeps bringing his friends around constantly when you want to 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:47.480 have some you know, one on one time. Got it? 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.880 So I need to put it on him. Yeah, I 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:51.720 would say. I would just be like, listen, like why 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:54.079 I just asked, Just be like, why do you need 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:56.280 this crutch of your friend when you're around me? You know, 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.080 I understand that you guys are close, and I love that, 0:09:58.120 --> 0:09:59.960 Like you'd rather have it? You know, I don't know 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:01.679 you'd rather have it, but you definitely want somebody who 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.959 has a life outside of your relationship. But at the 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:06.480 same time, it can't it can't be too much like 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:12.080 it sounds like it is. At least yeah, definitely, Um, 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:15.840 I I definitely feel like it's impacting our ability to 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:21.720 connect and friends. Nice, but I didn't want two boyfriends. 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:25.120 But yeah, that's a seat. That's a good way to 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:26.680 put it. Be like, listen, I didn't sign up for 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:29.400 two boyfriends. Like I want us to get close. And 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.160 I think, maybe you know, I'm trying to be you know, 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.920 I guess optimistic here, but maybe he doesn't really understand. 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.960 Just how much it is impacting you and how hard 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.480 it's become for you and your relationship, and maybe if 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:41.839 you kind of just talk to him about it and'll 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.400 be like, wow, you know, I don't I don't want 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:44.880 to lose you and I don't want to relationship to 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.720 take steps backwards. Um, I'll make a change, you know, 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:53.440 got it? Got it? Okay, I think that sounds fair, dude. 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:55.520 I hope that. I hope that helps because you're not 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.440 the in trust me, You're not alone in this. Yeah, 0:10:57.480 --> 0:10:59.480 there are a lot of women out there who have 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:02.920 the same problem because yeah, Min running packs. We'll put 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.280 it that way, Min running packs. So oh I always 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:10.120 thought it was the other way around. Unfortunately it's both. 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:14.880 It's both. Okay, Well, thank you very much. Absolutely, have 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:19.120 a good one. Alexa. Hi Aubrey, how are you. Um, 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:23.000 I'm doing okay, I'm doing well. Thank you. I heard 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:24.280 you got a question for him and see if I 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:28.959 can help you out. Yeah, definitely. So I'm living with 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:33.079 my boyfriend where we've been in a relationship for a while. Um, 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:38.800 I'm the bread wridden winner, like I make more money. Um. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.640 And my boyfriend he just quit his job of ten years. 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.560 He was really stressed out, and he's looking for something else, 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:47.719 but he doesn't seem to be looking as hard as 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:52.640 as he should. Um, And I told him I would 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:56.920 support him through his transition, but it just feels like 0:11:56.920 --> 0:12:00.360 it's taking a really long time, longer than expected. And 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:03.640 you know, since I'm making the money, I I want 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:06.920 to support him, but I don't want like to feel 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:11.320 like a burden, you know. Yeah, yeah, Um, that is 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.600 a predicament. So how long how long currently has he 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:18.800 been I guess unemployed or at least searching for a job. Roughly, Um, 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:22.920 it's been like six or seven months. That is a 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:25.320 long time. That really is so first of all, I 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:28.439 don't think you're in the wrong to ask this question 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:31.160 or to actually just feel the way that you're feeling 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:32.880 right now, because that is a long time, six seven months, 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:36.240 especially with you providing for him and supporting him, and 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.840 which by the way, is amazing. UM. So are you 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:41.360 kind of are you kind of wondering, like how do 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:44.080 you approach the conversation with him, and like how do 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:47.079 you light a fire under you know, under him if 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:50.800 you will? Yeah, Like sometimes I'll ask him questions about 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.480 what he did with his day to see I feel 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.960 tell me about a new job interview or something, and 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.640 I don't. I don't think he's catching on. Uh, And 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.880 I'll be honest. This is actually probably one of one 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.439 of the hardest situations because men's egos are very fragile, 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:08.960 Like coming from a man, our egos are very fragile. 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:14.880 And if you know, we feel like, um, we're to 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.079 a point where it's like, you know, you're obviously supporting 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:20.280 and everything, and then you feel like we aren't that 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.120 you don't feel like he isn't working hard to get 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:25.720 that next job. It could it could become you know, 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:28.640 a pretty big I don't want to I mean argument, 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.240 I guess, or fight if you will, Like just let's 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.400 just come from my experience. So this is a very 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:35.200 delicate situation, fragile. So I think the one way to 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:36.680 do it, at least for me if I was in 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:40.199 his shoes, is to be like, listen, it's been six 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.400 months now, Um, I think you just gotta straight up 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.560 like be honest with him, because maybe he doesn't think 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:47.000 he doesn't understand. I know you said you dropped some hints, 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:50.040 but we're not the brightest people. So I would say, 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.480 maybe you know, like just straight up ask him or 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:54.280 tell him, and be like listening. You know, I don't 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.480 mind supporting you and this, you know, I want to 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:59.839 make sure that you find a job that you and 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:01.960 joy because it sounds like maybe his job before he 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:04.400 didn't enjoy, because that you know, if he finds a 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.240 job he enjoys, it will help your relationship so much more, 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.240 you know. Um, yeah, So I would say, listen, I 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:12.640 understand you're taking your time, you're finding what you're passionate about, 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:14.600 you're finding a job that you're going to enjoy going 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:17.960 to every day. But at the same time, like you know, 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:21.920 this agreement or deal whatever you wanna call that we have, 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.520 I don't mind supporting you. But if you're not out 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:26.680 there looking for a job that you know you're passionate 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.240 about and that you love, then we gotta figure another 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:32.280 you know, we gotta figure something else out. Um. But 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:34.840 I would say, you know, it is a very delicate situation, 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:36.920 like I said, because men's egos are so fragile. But 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:39.400 I would just honestly approach him with honesty, to be 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:43.600 completely honest with him. Definitely, all right. The biggest way 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:45.640 to the frame is to be like listen, because it 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:47.600 sounds like maybe he's looking, but just be like, you know, 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:50.160 I know you're looking for like a passion job. You know, 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.000 you're looking for something you're you know you're going to 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:53.560 enjoy to go to. But at the same time, it's 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.040 been six seven months. You know, we gotta we gotta 0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:58.960 figure out something else. Even if it's like him, get 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:02.560 a job now on the side, I don't know, you know, 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.960 a gas stations and whatever it is. Wow, he finds 0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:07.600 this job he's passionate about. You could frame it in 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:14.239 that sense too. Definitely, Yeah, well, thank you so much. Absolutely, 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:17.160 I hope that helped a little bit. Already definitely already 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:20.680 have a good one too. And Danielle, how are you 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.520 blake here? Hey? How's it going? Oh, I'm going I'm 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.520 doing pretty good, actually doing pretty good. Can't complain. I 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:28.960 heard you got a question for me. I can help 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:33.160 you out, yes please? Um? Okay. So I am single 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.640 and ready to mingle, right and um, I go to 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.960 bars and I feel like I feel like I'm putting 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:43.920 out that vibe. Um, but guys aren't coming up to 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:47.960 me as much as I expected, as much as I thought. Um, 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.240 it's like everyone seems to be on their phones or 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:53.760 like in a group. Um so, I guess my question 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.800 is what would be a cool way to start like 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.560 a fun conversation or what could I do to I 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:03.480 don't know, catch their attention and took away from their 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:07.400 friends or you. Yeah, no solid question, um And I 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:10.360 think a lot of women lately do feel this. I 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.280 mean obviously that the phone thing, and like the them 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.480 being honestly like so worried about themselves and they don't 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.080 look up from their phone or whatever it is, and 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.760 you know, and men are terrified of rejection. Like I'll 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.840 just put that out there. Men are terrified of rejection. Um. 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:26.680 So that could be one of the reasons they're they're 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:28.680 afraid to put themselves out there to come up to you. 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:30.640 So if you see somebody, let's say, you know what, 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:32.280 you see a cute guy or whatever it is, and 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.000 or somebody who intrigues you. Honestly, it's it sounds like 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:38.920 so cliche, but one of the biggest things is if 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.600 if you for me, what I used to do is 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:44.040 eye contact, right you you make some eye contact and 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:46.440 if they linger, I always call it lingering eye contact. 0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:49.600 If there's some lingering eye contact there, then I think 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.080 that's when you and men love it, at least I do. 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:54.200 I think most men love when women make move um, 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:55.760 as long as it's not too over the top and 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:58.920 simply walking up and being like introducing your name and 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:00.360 saying kind of buy you a drink. I know that 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.880 sounds so boring and cliche, but that would work on 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:05.480 me every time. Especially And you know what it's like 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:07.359 when you feel that like attraction or you feel that 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:09.840 you get that lingering eye contact, you're like, oh, like 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:11.679 you know, he checked me out, or oh he's like 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.600 you know, he's looked over here five times. Then it's like, okay, 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:16.719 there's something here. So the way for him to come 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.800 to you just do it yourself. Just introduce you, can 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:20.480 I buy you a drink, or just introduce yourself in 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:22.360 general and they be like, what are you doing here? 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:23.520 You know, one of those things. But I think the 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.840 key is that lingering eye contact and just noticing that 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:29.440 he's looking at you a few times. Okay, yeah, yeah, 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:31.400 So that's what I always say, lingering one contact. If 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:33.879 I noticed shiming across the bar and we linger eye contact, 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:37.359 I'm like, okay, time to make a move. Yeah, So 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:40.800 that's what I would say it sounds awesome. Okay, good well, 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.240 I hope good luck out there, good luck out there. 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:48.320 It's it's not easy dating. I know it's not. All right, 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:52.560 We'll have a good one. Thank you. Right, Hi, Amanda 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:54.399 Blake here heard you might have a question for me. 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:59.280 We can help you out with he yes. Um, so 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:04.120 this is so awkward. I just I started like casually 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:07.440 dating this guy was like the single dad of two kids, 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:10.080 and I really like him. We had like a few 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:16.560 great dates and um, we're not exclusive per se. Yeah, 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.240 but um, he also told me that he wasn't like 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:26.600 dating anybody else, so um yeah, and like recently he's 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:30.640 been going on what he says, our business trips, so 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:32.879 we haven't seen each other, you know, in a little while. 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:36.840 But um, the thing my question is, I saw him 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:41.960 get tagged on Instagram in a photo with like this 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:48.160 girl at music festival. Um, and like, I know we're 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:51.680 not exclusive, but I'm just like I'm more upset that 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:57.840 he lied about it, you know. And you know, I 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:00.480 just lied that he was on a busy this trip 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:02.719 and then he wasn't seeing anyone else, and I'm just 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:05.520 so I'm just wondering, like should I call him out 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:08.520 for line to me, I mean, and also like, how 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:13.320 do I bring it up because I was snooping? Yeah, yeah, 0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:15.679 we all snoop though, don't feel guilty at that, we 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:18.800 all snoop. Uh, you know, I would say the biggest 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:23.080 thing is first to find out, right, like, maybe that's 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:25.800 his I mean, you know, I'm thinking optimistically here, maybe 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:29.040 that's his cousin, Maybe that's whatever. It is. Always find 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:31.760 out before you you know, more or less like getting 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:33.159 mad at I'm always find out if it's true. So 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:36.159 the way I had approach um, the opening to the 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:38.120 conversations being like, listen, I just want you to know 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:41.640 we're not exclusive. I know that, you know, we've talked 0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:43.520 about that. But at the same time, I want to 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:46.119 be safe. Um, so I would like to know if 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:48.280 you are sleeping with anybody else, if you are seeing 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:51.640 anybody else. Um. I know. Actually, honestly, I've been approached 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:53.280 that way, and I thought it was a really mature 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:56.080 and a great point, you know what I mean. And 0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:57.560 I was like, Okay, you're right, like we do need 0:19:57.600 --> 0:19:59.679 to talk about this because this is you know, you know, 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:02.919 sexual safety or whatever you want to call it, is 0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:06.000