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Speaker 1: From grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in two

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Speaker 1: fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers to

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Speaker 1: always keep their eyes open. You'll be queen, you will fired,

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Speaker 1: you will pass through centuries on the hands of your daughters.

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Speaker 1: They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the backs of diamond

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Speaker 1: eyed school children who growing into hymnals recited by amethyst

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Speaker 1: holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments out of the

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Speaker 1: windows of restored ALCHEMYO chariots to keep the warmth of

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Speaker 1: their blood, be wise, be smart, being black, Opal Brown

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Speaker 1: courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of Jim C.

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Speaker 1: King told, scribe, scribe told son, son, told wife, wife

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Speaker 1: told her daughter, and daughter told. The answer is. And

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Speaker 1: the ancestors told me that you would come to give

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Speaker 1: you wisdom. Thousands They said you would come, Dropping Jam,

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Speaker 1: Dropping the Gym. Alright, Welcome to another episode of The

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Speaker 1: Dropping Gym's podcast and your host, Steppie Brown. This episode

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Speaker 1: is going to be a little bit different. We are

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Speaker 1: recording it out of the country, the first field trip

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Speaker 1: for The Dropping Gym's Podcast. Currently, we are in Los Cabos, Mexico,

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Speaker 1: which is one of my favorite places on Earth, and

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Speaker 1: today's guest is someone I would absolutely consider one to

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Speaker 1: be family, and not just in the way that you

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Speaker 1: say that about people that you're close with or that

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Speaker 1: you really like in an industry way. No, this is

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Speaker 1: an extension of my family, and we are currently embedded

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Speaker 1: in so many hot topics and discussions and conversations about

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Speaker 1: life that I decided while on vacation to pull up

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Speaker 1: my mix and just make this an episode. So this

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Speaker 1: person is on your TV screens regularly, is in your

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Speaker 1: car for your morning commute every morning with the number

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Speaker 1: one rated radio show. They're also a writer in entrepreneur,

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Speaker 1: a producer, just absolutely everything, and the list just continues

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Speaker 1: to go on and on. So, without further ado, the

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Speaker 1: special guest today is Charlemagne Leonard. The guys, what's happening, Dee,

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Speaker 1: dev what's going on? You're one of the only people

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Speaker 1: that still calls me that because your name is actually

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Speaker 1: so it's Debbie. But don't you know that Debbie Brown? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but that's your government name. You're still you're still Debby.

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Speaker 1: Your name is Debbie like deVie dev So me and

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Speaker 1: Charlotte have known each other for two seven maybe yeah,

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Speaker 1: so at least like twelve years years. Yeah. Um, and

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Speaker 1: we originally met at that time you were working on

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Speaker 1: the Whitney Williams Show. Yes, I was in my life

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Speaker 1: and I was working at a radio station in l

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Speaker 1: A called k D I was on the come up,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was at that time. I had Jess

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Speaker 1: kind of like got my first paid gig at that station,

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Speaker 1: and I was doing like a lot of voice work.

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Speaker 1: I was doing the weather and traffic and one of

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Speaker 1: the other things that I was doing my stripes was

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Speaker 1: being in quote unquote associate producer on our syndicated show,

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Speaker 1: which was a Wendy Williams show, which is the show

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Speaker 1: that you were on, and that was that was the

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Speaker 1: first place you went from South Carolina, right, you went

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Speaker 1: straight to New York with Wendy. Yeah, from South Carolina,

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Speaker 1: I did. I worked at four radio stations in South Carolina.

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Speaker 1: I worked at the Big d M and then Hot

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Speaker 1: one with three nine in Colombia, and from Hot one

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Speaker 1: with three nine experience. Yeah, and I remember so you guys.

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Speaker 1: Occasionally Wendy would come up just to like meet fans.

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Speaker 1: She would come out to l A like she was

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Speaker 1: trying to build herself in that market. Now, the show

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Speaker 1: did not do well because it's really hard for New

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Speaker 1: York to do well um in l A, in syndication,

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Speaker 1: the fact, I don't care who you and at that time,

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Speaker 1: she didn't have our TV show, so people weren't familiar

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Speaker 1: with her and they're like, what is going on? Um,

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Speaker 1: But you really like work to establish yourself and to

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Speaker 1: meet people. I mean, you're one of the most gracious

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Speaker 1: people that I know. Honestly, UM, thank you. Yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: one of those people I'll never forget. We were working

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Speaker 1: together on Hip Hop p o V TV and well

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Speaker 1: was that so long ago? And I'll never forget that

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Speaker 1: from day one, every single person in that in that room,

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Speaker 1: whether it was an audience member or it was a

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Speaker 1: cameraman or whoever, you stopped and shook every single person's hand,

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Speaker 1: looked them in their eye, and had like brief dialogue.

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Speaker 1: It took forever, but you did that with every single person. Um,

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Speaker 1: and that always stuck with me. Yeah. I just feel

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Speaker 1: like if somebody's in your space, then your space for

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Speaker 1: a reason. And plus all of those people helped to

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Speaker 1: make that show, whatever that show was. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying From the cameraman, to the produces, to the

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Speaker 1: audience members, like they're all there to make us look good,

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Speaker 1: you know, Like I think sometimes talent, we think too

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Speaker 1: highly of ourselves. We always say things like this show

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Speaker 1: could never work without me. Actually, the show couldn't work

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Speaker 1: without anybody. You know what I'm saying. I couldn't work

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Speaker 1: without the person that has to do all of the

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Speaker 1: equipment and how to do talent you can find. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: those are the unsung heroes. I mean, those are the

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Speaker 1: people whose hands you shake, and you know, you make

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Speaker 1: sure they're good, and when the holidays come around, you

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Speaker 1: send them a bottle or you know, all the food

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Speaker 1: for the staff. Like, those are the people who make

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Speaker 1: you look good. So that's the least you can do

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Speaker 1: and shake their aunt. So how let's go back in

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Speaker 1: thirteen years. How do we become friends? Um? We become

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Speaker 1: friends because it's like l A. L A is like

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Speaker 1: a foreign territory. I've never been to l A before.

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Speaker 1: I had never been to l A. So it's like

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Speaker 1: when I started working Wendy, I started traveling a lot

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Speaker 1: of places that I never traveled, and I never I've

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Speaker 1: never been to l A. But I mean l a

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Speaker 1: has always meant so much, you know, at least to

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Speaker 1: me because I'm from South Carolina's been I'm from South Carolina.

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Speaker 1: You know, at the time, we didn't have our own

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Speaker 1: like history and hip hop. You know, if you're from

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Speaker 1: New York, you you've got a history, like you know,

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Speaker 1: you got your Wu Tangs and your biggies and your

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Speaker 1: nass and your rock cam cares one. When you from

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Speaker 1: South Carolina, you don't have that. So I used to

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Speaker 1: listen to everything. So I used to listen to, you know,

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Speaker 1: mad music from the East Coast, mad stuff from down

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Speaker 1: south of Courts and mas stuff from the west. So

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Speaker 1: I felt like I knew what this city was about,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But so it's just like

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Speaker 1: for me when I got there, I just wanted to

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Speaker 1: meet people and and kicking with people, and like you

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Speaker 1: were one of the first people, if if not the first,

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Speaker 1: who was like, Yo, let's I'm gonna show you the

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Speaker 1: city so to speak. You know, I'm like, I'm one

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Speaker 1: of those people that loves being tour guide because I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've lived you know a few places. I've done radio

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Speaker 1: in Houston, a little brief stin in New York, but

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Speaker 1: I'm an l A girl for real. I'm so like

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Speaker 1: southern California, um, and so whenever people are in what

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Speaker 1: I consider to be my city there in l A.

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Speaker 1: I love playing tour guy because there's so much magic there.

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Speaker 1: To me, there's so many interesting little crevices all over

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles, you know. And I like showing people real

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Speaker 1: l A because I hate when people come like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: but l A so Hollywood. It's like that is the

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Speaker 1: tiniest part of Los Angeles and no one goes there.

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Speaker 1: And you put me onto so much two things. You

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Speaker 1: put me on hip hop in tofu to food, thie food,

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Speaker 1: Thie food, hip hop and thie food. She always wanted

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Speaker 1: to eat, always wanted to eat Thai food, my favorite cuisine.

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Speaker 1: And then like, you put me onto so much dope

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Speaker 1: ass hip hop like Glasses, Malone, Kendrick, Lamar, Bishop Lamar,

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Speaker 1: Nipsey Hustle, strong On Steady gang like these like Kendrick

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Speaker 1: and Nipsey weren't popping back then. Actually, at the time,

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Speaker 1: Glasses and Bishop had bigger buzzes, bigger dric Like Glasses

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Speaker 1: had the record with a con Bishop was signed to

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Speaker 1: Dr Dre. What happened to Bishop of a month. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I know he's still working in music. I

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Speaker 1: ran into him a few years ago in New York,

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Speaker 1: but I know he's definitely still, you know, doing this

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Speaker 1: thing and working nicehop. Was mad talented. But it's just

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Speaker 1: like your DEVI has to put me on mad hip

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Speaker 1: hop and we just vibe, like you know, the energy

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Speaker 1: person Like things aren't complicated with me. You know, you

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Speaker 1: meet somebody, you're the vibe with them when you don't.

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Speaker 1: And and then there's some people that just like you

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Speaker 1: really really connect with, you really click with, Like that's

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Speaker 1: my people's like not not just somebody you meet in

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Speaker 1: passing and you know that person like you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, I know such a such from l A.

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Speaker 1: But like not Dev is the homie. So it's just

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Speaker 1: like it this was a very organic thing. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: been like it's been really dope. I'll tell you. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of a trip, right because I mean, and you're

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Speaker 1: gonna act uber humble right now, but you are such

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Speaker 1: a You've become such a massive star in such a

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Speaker 1: necessary part of the culture, you know, I think, Um,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I was playing this game Black Card Provoked

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Speaker 1: the other day and you were one of the questions, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll show you when we when we saw Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: so it's just so crazy because, like number one, it's

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Speaker 1: like I'm so immensely proud of you and inspired of you,

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Speaker 1: inspired by you. At the same time, it's also kind

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Speaker 1: of a mind trip because like you and me started

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Speaker 1: like we were just we we just existed in this

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Speaker 1: time where the old regime had just kind of stopped,

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Speaker 1: but this new wave hadn't started. Social media was just

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Speaker 1: barely like we were, Like you would tweet and just

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Speaker 1: like you were tweeting into space like there wasn't no

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Speaker 1: one followers or followings or you know, um, and people

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Speaker 1: were really doing real networking on social media like you

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Speaker 1: like if you message somebody, no matter if they were famous,

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Speaker 1: like how famous they were on my Space, they would

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Speaker 1: message you back like it was different people. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: know me too. Yeah, And at that time, it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, so anyway, I say this to say, it's

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Speaker 1: so dope because I feel like now looking back at you,

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Speaker 1: having known you in in kind of the before time, right,

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Speaker 1: like you always had this thing about you and it

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Speaker 1: wasn't just that your nuts, right, it wasn't just that

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Speaker 1: you're crazy. But you always had this almost this calmness

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Speaker 1: about your destiny, Like even if you didn't realize it,

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Speaker 1: it's like there was something so much larger than you

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Speaker 1: and you felt it without feeling it. So there was

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Speaker 1: always this level calmness about you. And I think sometimes,

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Speaker 1: especially when you meet people in the industry or entertainment,

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Speaker 1: there's almost this this rushed sense to them. Right, there's

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Speaker 1: this like sometimes over eagerness, but very frazzled kind of

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Speaker 1: energy sometimes because you're trying to get it. You're trying

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Speaker 1: to get it. You're trying to get it, you're trying

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Speaker 1: to Okay, hey, pay attention to me. Okay, I need

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Speaker 1: to meet you. Okay, like the hustle, huzzle, hustle, right,

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Speaker 1: and with you, there was this you were always grinding,

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Speaker 1: like we literally slept on each other's couches. You know,

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Speaker 1: used to fly out for auditions. I don't know why

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Speaker 1: it's been weird, because it's been a lot of people

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Speaker 1: that's been trying to get me to get into acting,

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Speaker 1: But I used to fly out for auditions. I was

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Speaker 1: actually casted for this show. I still don't know what

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Speaker 1: happened to this show to this day, it's literally like

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Speaker 1: I wonder it was like ice Cube and Aaron McGruder

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Speaker 1: and remember when you did that, and it was like me,

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Speaker 1: Jason Weaver, bow Wow, Slank Johnson, I think he was

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Speaker 1: on the cast too, whatever, it was like I was.

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Speaker 1: I went out there for a reading for it, and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't afford that day my car. Yeah, and I drove.

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Speaker 1: I drove to the audition and I slept on your

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Speaker 1: couch the night before and I literally flew right back out.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. But it's like that's the

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Speaker 1: type of stuff that we used to do back then,

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Speaker 1: just to try to find ourselves, find what our purpose

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Speaker 1: was in this business. Because I was like, okay, radio,

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Speaker 1: I don't even I think I just got fired from

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Speaker 1: one D at that time. Yeah, because that had to

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Speaker 1: be like I went to Philly. Yeah, man, I forgot

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Speaker 1: about that till just now. But just like your grind

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Speaker 1: has been, it's been crazy like and you've always been

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Speaker 1: making like really high level connections, even if it didn't

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Speaker 1: come to fruition, you know until a few years later,

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Speaker 1: like the just the steps that you took again, it

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Speaker 1: just seemed like there was always this kind of divine

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Speaker 1: guiding light um and I remember like weird ship too,

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Speaker 1: like we were at dinner once with Teddy Riley and Vic.

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Speaker 1: I still don't know how that happened to this day.

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Speaker 1: I remember I text you one later and I was like, Yo,

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Speaker 1: did we go to did we? Did we go to

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Speaker 1: dinner with Teddy Riley? And because it seemed like a

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Speaker 1: dream now, I'm like, how did we? And we didn't

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Speaker 1: have any like social proof of it, that there was

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Speaker 1: no Instagram at the time, or like there was no

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Speaker 1: reason for us. It was Teddy Riley, Villica Fox Glasses

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Speaker 1: was there? Who else? I don't remember? And why why

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Speaker 1: were we all there? Why would it? And you know,

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Speaker 1: I love Teddy Riley, like I'm a I'm an Uptown

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Speaker 1: Record fanatic, like I want to I want to see

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Speaker 1: an Uptown Records movie done one day, Like I love

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Speaker 1: that whole New Jack Swing, Like I look at Teddy

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Speaker 1: the way people look at Dr Dre and look at

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Speaker 1: Ditty like I looked at Teddy in that way. So

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Speaker 1: it's like for me to just be randomly having dinner

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Speaker 1: with him and just he was just giving me mad game.

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Speaker 1: And I remember that night he told me he was like,

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Speaker 1: there's no such thing as a tall superstar. He was.

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Speaker 1: He was like, all superstars are short. He was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, And I was like, this is mind

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Speaker 1: You just had to be like oh what eight Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it had to be always a still working with Windy

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Speaker 1: O seven A ways, I'm like, yo, what about jay Z.

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Speaker 1: He's like, jay Z not a stop mind you this

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Speaker 1: old time and he's like, he's not a star. He's like,

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Speaker 1: he is jay Z, but he's not a star. I'm

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Speaker 1: just talking about natural star quality when you walk in

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Speaker 1: the room and everybody's looking at you. Of course he's

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Speaker 1: wrong about that now, but at the time, for whatever reason,

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Speaker 1: it made sense. The logic made sense. I get what

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Speaker 1: he means, like just in the sense of like a

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Speaker 1: certain level of charisma, you know, like not obviously jay

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Speaker 1: Z has charisma, but I mean in the sense of, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like, yeah, maybe like smaller

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Speaker 1: guys do have a little bit more bravado about them. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And when he broke it down, he was talking about

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Speaker 1: the music induscreen. You think about it, mad, people are

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Speaker 1: super super short, you know what I'm saying, Like this

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Speaker 1: is recently the era of tall rappers. You know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like Snoop was an anomaly back in the

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Speaker 1: day game. Now you've got J Cole and the Davies

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Speaker 1: and all these Nipsey Hustle, These that's tall rappers were

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Speaker 1: not a thing until now, so it made sense. But

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Speaker 1: it was just random, Like those are good times. And

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Speaker 1: that's why I love l A so much. Like LA

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Speaker 1: was just one of those places where you know what,

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Speaker 1: E l A? Maybe do? L A really made me

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Speaker 1: feel like somebody, what do you mean? Because I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's like when we went to l A, people there

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Speaker 1: appreciated whatever it was we were doing in a different way,

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Speaker 1: even though when you didn't have like massive success there

285
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Speaker 1: or nothing like that. For whatever reason, they was like

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Speaker 1: rocking with us for some reason. And I remember I

287
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Speaker 1: was writing for Ozone and I used to write, um

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Speaker 1: these columns for Old Magazine a time. I remember writing

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Speaker 1: a column about l A about just you know, I

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Speaker 1: was looking forward to come into l A. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like it was it was it was

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Speaker 1: the music, it was the weather, the people like And

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Speaker 1: still to this day, I've got like like relationships in

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Speaker 1: l A because of those times, Like Crowndon is my guy,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because of you. Glasses is

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Speaker 1: still my guy, like these people that I talked to,

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Speaker 1: like on the regular, you know what I mean, like

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Speaker 1: over the acting world. So he's killing and it's it's

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Speaker 1: interesting because he's another one, like when you talk about

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Speaker 1: people who had an energy about them, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like he was one of those guys who

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Speaker 1: had an energy about them, Like you know what, I'm

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Speaker 1: super special person. Yeah, just a good brother, you know so,

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Speaker 1: and it's very smart, has a lot to offer the world,

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Speaker 1: you know, on a on an intellectual level. Just people

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Speaker 1: haven't seen that side yet, I don't think, but I

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00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 1: think they will, you know. But just a good dude.

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Speaker 1: And me and Glass, Me and Glasses talk every other

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Speaker 1: day about nothing, you know, about nothing, and he gets

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Speaker 1: so mad. But I call him a troll. And Glass

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00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,080
Speaker 1: is one of my best friends in the world. But

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00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:17,800
Speaker 1: he's he trolls social media like the most, Like he's

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Speaker 1: a Trump supporter, Like he has that level of troll

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Speaker 1: about him, and he talks about the most outlandish things.

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Speaker 1: He believes it. That's the wild. That's why I like it.

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Speaker 1: That's why I like Glasses though, because glasses is who

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00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,320
Speaker 1: he is, you know what I'm saying, and like he's

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Speaker 1: not saying things just to say them, you know, like

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Speaker 1: he really means that, and I'll be wanting to know

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00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:42,320
Speaker 1: why he feels that way, you know. But those are

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Speaker 1: just lifelong relationships to that for because of you. I

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00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,040
Speaker 1: didn't know those people. Y'all used to have you in

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Speaker 1: some crazy ship too, because at that time, especially in

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Speaker 1: l A, like everything everything about l A was underground,

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Speaker 1: um still because like like Game obviously had popped off

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Speaker 1: and had huge success, but then it was like ten

327
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Speaker 1: years after him that there was no next like error Parent,

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Speaker 1: and everyone from coast to coast was just dissing l A.

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Speaker 1: And at that time I was on the come up,

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Speaker 1: you know, so I was like all about underground hip hop.

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Speaker 1: And yes, I used to put you in some interesting

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Speaker 1: positions all the time. I didn't even I don't remember Game,

333
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,960
Speaker 1: but Game was popping by in no, for sure, he

334
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,320
Speaker 1: was already a superstar. But I mean after him, there

335
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,200
Speaker 1: was not really you know. The thing was Game on

336
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Speaker 1: and I love Game. I think he's a dope lyricist.

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00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,480
Speaker 1: But people who thought that Game was stereotypical l A.

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Speaker 1: If that makes sense. You know. What I'm saying is

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00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:43,000
Speaker 1: the low ride is like always seen that before, you know. Yeah,

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00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,840
Speaker 1: And I think for people in other areas, they don't

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Speaker 1: realize like like that really legitimately is an active part

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Speaker 1: of our culture. Like it's not. It's not. Oh, I'm

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00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 1: still doing the same old thing. Like no, that's how

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Speaker 1: people live. Okay, So let's flash forward. We're in a

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Speaker 1: Mexico right now, Cabo, at Devi's vacation home. We're in Cabo,

346
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,239
Speaker 1: and I just think it's just so dope when I

347
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 1: think of, like, you know, just the people I care about.

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Speaker 1: Like earlier today we were at a beautiful dinner right

349
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Speaker 1: brand new friends that we met last night, literally wet

350
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 1: and um. We were at this gorgeous like hacienda and

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Speaker 1: you know, the outskirts of Cabo, having this incredible fresh

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00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 1: lobster meal, talking conversation. It was so beautiful. Yeah, And

353
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,879
Speaker 1: as we were leaving, you were like, you know, we're adults.

354
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 1: We're adults, I mean honestly, like you're putting the cost

355
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:44,800
Speaker 1: to the car, baby quests in and move got two

356
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 1: three kids at the crib back home, like we got

357
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:52,800
Speaker 1: the friends, like our families are vacationing on a random weekend.

358
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,000
Speaker 1: This ain't no holiday weekend or nothing like that. Like

359
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,400
Speaker 1: it's just like, yo, DevD is Devin going is away

360
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,919
Speaker 1: for a month at the crib. Let's pull up on

361
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 1: a weekend. Cool. But it's like, and I was saying,

362
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 1: like we were really the adults because back in the day,

363
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,359
Speaker 1: when you was young, you would see these people on

364
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 1: TV or you'd see them, you know sometimes, and if

365
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,560
Speaker 1: you lived in the fluent area, you'd see these fly families.

366
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Speaker 1: And I think about like my aunt, my aunt Dot

367
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 1: and my uncle Jim, Like you know, they always seem

368
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,199
Speaker 1: to have money. You know, I'm not saying they were rich,

369
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 1: but I don't even know if they were. It just

370
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,919
Speaker 1: used to seem like that. Like they lived in the

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00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 1: Pocono they this was cool. And you see them, you

372
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 1: see them traveling, you know what I'm saying. And I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 1: we are those adults. Now, we're we're adults. Like we're

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00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 1: growing as hell, like with kids and vacations. Like that's

375
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 1: wild to me. Like think about a thirteen years ago,

376
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 1: me and my wife was together. We weren't married, but

377
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 1: we were together. But it's like my mindset was totally different.

378
00:19:54,840 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 1: I was banging all deaths, interns a wild yo. So

379
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: in your first book, you wrote an entire page about

380
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 1: me and about people I worked with that you were

381
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 1: sleeping with. Do you know how many people have contacted

382
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: me about that? Really? What you know? You put me

383
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 1: in a bad position. You didn't know though, I know

384
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 1: you didn't know. Well, I found out when I read

385
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: your book. Yeah, listen, Katie was popping. It was Kate

386
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 1: was popping. Okay. There's a lot of grown people used

387
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 1: to work at Kata who would like to have a

388
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 1: good time, and we used to have a good time.

389
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 1: It was fun. It was fun times back then. You

390
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But I'm just saying. I'm saying

391
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 1: all I have to say. My mind state was totally

392
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 1: different thirteen years. Like I was, I'm immature, you know

393
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And like when you're trying to figure

394
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 1: yourself out on a on a on a spiritual level,

395
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 1: on a human level, and you you're you're I'm new

396
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: to this whole industry things, so to speak. You know

397
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Because going from South Carolina, the working

398
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 1: when Windy was a totally different levels. I'm on v

399
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 1: each one in your mind, you skipped so many levels,

400
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: like it literally went zero to and it's like you're

401
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 1: acting the way you think you're supposed to, Like, oh,

402
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 1: this is all you know, this comes to the territory,

403
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like this is you know,

404
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 1: fruit off that tree. Like you're supposed to be with

405
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 1: a bunch of different women, You're supposed to be getting high,

406
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: You're supposed to be wearing Louis Vuitton custom made vest,

407
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 1: like a whole bunch of stuff that wasn't necessarily me,

408
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 1: and it it left you with such an empty feeling.

409
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 1: So what point do you realize that that's not you? Um,

410
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 1: I realized it wasn't me when I got fired from Windy,

411
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Um, well, no, I realized

412
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 1: it wasn't me while I was through that whole period

413
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: of even being with one, Because it don't take me

414
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 1: long to realize, like, Yo, this ain't it's not for me.

415
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,640
Speaker 1: Like as soon as I do something and I leave

416
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: with an empty feeling or a guilty feeling or you know,

417
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,639
Speaker 1: like it's really just the guilt. And I think the

418
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 1: guilt comes from knowing that I know better spiritually, like

419
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,959
Speaker 1: more so than anything, the guilt of anything I do.

420
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 1: Like if I'm in l A and I wake up

421
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: with three women, right, I feel bad. You know what

422
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I do. I feel bad because I know

423
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: I feel like spiritually I'm not moving away. I want

424
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 1: to move And what And is that because you realize

425
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 1: that like a decision like that means that you're really

426
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,959
Speaker 1: living out of ego, Like that's an ego decision, Like

427
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna bang three random strangers and they're just going

428
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 1: to be in my bed and like that's like really

429
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: ego that like, oh I can Yeah, it was fun

430
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 1: because it used to be like, uh, you know when

431
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 1: when when like say when they's husband would come to

432
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 1: my room in the morning and see this, like oh

433
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,880
Speaker 1: you're doing you know what I mean. So it's like

434
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 1: that was all ego, you know what I mean. I

435
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: was doing that because I wanted him to see like, yeah,

436
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: I get it popping, like you know. So it's just

437
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: like stuff like that. We were younger. Yeah, you're young

438
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 1: and dumb. I was just turning thirty around that time,

439
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: like and and and like you know, Chris Rock told

440
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: me one time, Chris Rock said every superhero go Triliday superpowers.

441
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,679
Speaker 1: So at the time you think you got superpowers, you know,

442
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: until you realize that actually that's really your kryptonite. Kryptonite

443
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: is that life and that lifestyle because that never made

444
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: me feel fulfilled. So how do you take it? Because

445
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: I think especially with all people, but really with men,

446
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: this is that this is one of the harder parts

447
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 1: about I guess, like quote unquote being on your journey,

448
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: right it's, hey, I really lies that. This doesn't feel good.

449
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: I know I'm doing the wrong thing. But what propels

450
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 1: you to learn how to change your behavior? Because men

451
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,199
Speaker 1: are raised so much differently than women, right, Like, we

452
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: are raised to seek out solutions to problems, specifically problems

453
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 1: about our feelings, were raised to talk about our feelings,

454
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: were raised to have very transparent conversations with other people

455
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 1: about how we feel. Right, men completely the opposite. You

456
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: guys have a really hard time sometimes having like friendships

457
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: with depth other than are you straight? Right? You know, like,

458
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 1: you guys have a lot of trouble sometimes getting to depth.

459
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: So what what takes it from intellectualizing it to embodying it?

460
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 1: Because there's a lot of guys, a lot of people

461
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: that can say oh, yeah, because this is why this,

462
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 1: or they read the books right, so they have the

463
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 1: language to explain their behavior and they have all the

464
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: right terminology, but it doesn't change the behavior. How do

465
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 1: you get there? I think that, um, the the cycle

466
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: is breaking because of what you just said. I think

467
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: that where this generation, this generation of men right here

468
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: is learning from the mistakes of the men that came

469
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 1: before us. Because I'll tell you all the time, I

470
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 1: know I was really wrong. I was really wrong from

471
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: not only the music, the movies and you know, everything

472
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 1: that we saw growing up. But I was just raised

473
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: wrong because of the men around me. Like you know,

474
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: I can't remember confronting my father about cheating all my

475
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: mom and him look at me in the eyes and

476
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: telling me, oh, you only got one girlfriend and laughing

477
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: and then telling me like, yo, one day you'll understand,

478
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like we learned, like we

479
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: were visual people, humans are, so we learned from the

480
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: men that are around us. So you got all these

481
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 1: people and music telling us that bitches ain't ship be

482
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: holes and tricks and you're supposed to dog women out

483
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 1: like literally, we were taught to dog women out in

484
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 1: order for women to love you more, in order for

485
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: women to respect you, you had to treat them like ship,

486
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 1: like like honestly like not used to tell us it's wild.

487
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 1: And we talked about this a little bit earlier, like

488
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: it's wild to me. I've really been trying in my

489
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 1: mind to pinpoint when misogyny took over in music to

490
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: the level that it has right um, And I really

491
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: feel like, and I could be wrong. I'm early in

492
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 1: my research, but I really feel like it was like

493
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: the Nwa era. It was that moment in time that

494
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 1: things shifted in such a way that we have never

495
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: recovered from when it comes to like our interpersonal relationships

496
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 1: between men and women, like having conversations about intimacy and

497
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 1: having certain expectations of behavior. Everything changed around the time

498
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 1: frame of NWA. Before that, the songs were beautiful right

499
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 1: like you were you were, you were talking to women

500
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 1: in a completely different way. Yeah, And that's why, that's

501
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 1: why it's like an emotional roller coaster for a man,

502
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 1: right Because I grew up mother was Jehovah witness. Grandmother

503
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 1: was a Baptist, father studied a long so my father

504
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 1: was a witness too. When he got into Islam, like

505
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 1: he was giving me the autobiography of Malcolmax. He was

506
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: giving me Message to the Black Man Byolagh Muhammad. I

507
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: was reading from Niggas to God by Kill. So being

508
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: that I was getting all of this different information, I

509
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 1: knew I was supposed to treat my women like queens.

510
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: I knew I was supposed to protect and provide for

511
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 1: for my for my sisters. I knew all of that.

512
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 1: But then you got your hip hop ship. And and

513
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 1: before even before that, though, you had queenl ty F

514
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 1: for making songs like you and I t y. So

515
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 1: to me, it was corny to call a woman a bitch,

516
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I used to think that

517
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: all of those rappers who were calling women bitches and

518
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 1: holes were lame. But then eventually those dudes that was

519
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 1: calling those women saying, oh, then music just sounded way

520
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: better than the positive ship, you know what I'm saying,

521
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: Like like like the the Death roadship was sounded way

522
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,360
Speaker 1: better than what was coming from the East Coast. Because

523
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,439
Speaker 1: you gotta think about it, you had all in the

524
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: same gang. You had your head of for self destruction.

525
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,199
Speaker 1: You had all of these songs that were uplifting and

526
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,679
Speaker 1: trying to empower us as a people and teaching us

527
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: how to just love each other and not be violent

528
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 1: towards each other and not be violent towards our women.

529
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 1: But then it got to a point where, like I said,

530
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: that nineties death O ship just sounded better. So you

531
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: go from knowing knowing better to WHOA well, the ship's catchy. Yeah,

532
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: snooped him saying do this, but rackon him saying do this,

533
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: And then you had see the Lord's Tucker and then

534
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: got all the money and the like see the Lord's

535
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,679
Speaker 1: Tucker came out. Everything she was saying was true, and

536
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: we said for her she said hate. Everything she was

537
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 1: saying was absolutely true. So this just me I feel

538
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: like we're the first generation of men who are breaking

539
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: the cycle, meaning that we realized the error always and

540
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: we're realizing it at a aid when we're young enough

541
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 1: to know better and do better, Like I still got

542
00:28:54,160 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 1: my father then is like telling me, yo, what you're

543
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: doing is right? You know what I'm saying. Like, but

544
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: they's sixties something years old, so they're stuck in a

545
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: lot of their ways. Like I looked at what my

546
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: father did to my mom in in in our family,

547
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: and I said, I don't want to be that. I

548
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. You know what I'm saying.

549
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 1: I want to be the exact opposite. I want to

550
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 1: be faithful to my wife. You know what I'm saying.

551
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to break up my my my my home.

552
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: I don't want to end up you know, while I'm

553
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,719
Speaker 1: out here with a bunch of chicks getting a divorce,

554
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 1: and then I gotta come see my kids on weekends.

555
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, I want to be

556
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: here for for my my family. And I think that also,

557
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: like you said the conversation, like men are having these

558
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: conversations with each other, like men are going to therapy.

559
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Men are understanding that it's

560
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: okay to be vulnerable, Like you don't gotta put on

561
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: a front and pretend to be hard. Yeah, things things

562
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: bother us, you know what I'm saying, Like like like

563
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: I love hearing Like I was listening to the Offset

564
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: album you got a song called um uh, don't Lose Me,

565
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: and he's saying that's what CARDI told him, don't lose me.

566
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,959
Speaker 1: And I'm listening to this song and I'm like, Yo,

567
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 1: this is so dope, because that's exactly what it is

568
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: like when you are blessed to have a woman in

569
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: your corner who's really your better half and who really

570
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: makes a house a home and who really is like

571
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: a great nurturer to your children and a great nurturer

572
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: to you because she's poured so much into you to

573
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: make you a better human. So now you can only

574
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: hope to pour, you know, pour it right back into her.

575
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 1: When you have that, you lose. If you lose that,

576
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 1: like you understand like you're losing, like like people get

577
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: upset and they lose their smartphones and stuffing, like you're losing,

578
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 1: like you're losing something that you can never recover from.

579
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: And I've never seen a man ever in my life

580
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: leave his woman go to another situation and life becomes

581
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: better for them. I've I've never seen it. I've never

582
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: I've seen I've seen every man I know who left

583
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: the woman for another woman. The quality of life goes down,

584
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: their their their professional life goes down. They're never happy.

585
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: Like my father told me all the time, like I'm

586
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: just do the work. Peace. They never had peace. You

587
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 1: always tell me the worst mistake have made leaving your moup.

588
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. It was just like I'm

589
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: not gonna make those same mistakes. Yeah, I'm not. I refuse,

590
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 1: Like I think that the illest thing you can do

591
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: is just continue to you know, pour into your relationship.

592
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: You know, I find I find the relationships between men

593
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: and women to be so fascinating. Man. And I've done

594
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: years of therapy, right and in my marriage, we've done

595
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 1: a couples therapy. I wanted to become a therapist, a

596
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: psychologist at one point. Um, it's really we've become not

597
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: just so desensitized and disconnected with violence and and things

598
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 1: that we watch right Like that That's a big thing

599
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: that people talk about, is like how desensitize your coming

600
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: because of the world Star videos or Academics videos that

601
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:07,520
Speaker 1: you're seeing murder or pain or tragedy so quickly in

602
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 1: between sandwich and between the rest of your day. We're

603
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: also getting so desensitized when it comes to like what

604
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: love and relationship is or should look like, because we're

605
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: so used to seeing people aired out, you know, quote unquote,

606
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: or we're so used to the dysfunction, and we've found

607
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 1: the toxicity to be entertaining. But I think what people

608
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: don't realize men men who are messing on the side

609
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: with women, or women who are side checks with men

610
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: that think that they have a shot at happiness with

611
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: this person, which you don't understand, is that on a

612
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 1: soul level, it's not just about you know, sometimes people

613
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: can break up. It's fine, right, life, life happens. If

614
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: you are appealing to the lower side of somebody, you

615
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 1: can never have happiness with them if you're appealing to

616
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 1: their lowest self, like okay, yeah, they chose you. You

617
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 1: guys quote unquote had sex, you know, like um. But

618
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: for him to do that, he had to really compartmentalize

619
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: his integrity. He had to really hide the shame that

620
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: he feels. He had to lie right, he had to

621
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 1: do certain things that proved to be character flaws. So

622
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: that means he's operating as the lower version of himself

623
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 1: versus when you make great decisions for your life that

624
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: feel good, you don't have to cover up that, you

625
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: don't have to lie about that, you don't have to,

626
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:36,959
Speaker 1: you know, try to rearrange to make sense. You're your

627
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: highest self. You feel great about your life and about

628
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: you when you're making serving choices. So I think what

629
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: people don't understand is that when whether it's cheating or not,

630
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: when you're making decisions that are counterintuitive to that, when

631
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: you're making decisions that just speak to your lowest self,

632
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: there can never be happiness. Like I've been in situations

633
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: where I've been out of town. You wake up in

634
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: the morning, you got another chick in your bed. You

635
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 1: get a FaceTime from your wife and and and and

636
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 1: your daughter, and you're like, oh, shoot, that's my wife.

637
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: And she's like, oh, I hide under the covers and

638
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: and and immediately you feel like, first of all, who

639
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: funk are you? And and and and why am I

640
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: around you? But then he's like, you can't. You ain't

641
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: no better than her. You're entertaining this. You know what

642
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying this is, this is you not even remotely

643
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: being your best. You're submitting to your lower nature. To

644
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,760
Speaker 1: being that. You're submitting to your lower nature. She's doing

645
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 1: she's feeding that, she's feeding that, and she thinks that's cool,

646
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 1: Like she thought that was like she really thought that

647
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 1: was dope. Like when I when I got off the

648
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: phone now because my dumbass didn't answer the phone. When

649
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: I got off the phone, she goes, I'm a good

650
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 1: side chick, ain't now And I'm like, wow, that don't

651
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: feel good, Like that's not I'm not that's that's really

652
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm feeding my lower nature. I'm feeding all my lord desires.

653
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: Like that's something bumbshit like that. And also, why would

654
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: anyone want to rise to the occasion to treat you

655
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: better if you're plainly stating that that's all it takes

656
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 1: for you, you know, like that that the lowest form

657
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 1: of whatever someone has to offer is enough for you.

658
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: That's always what they'll give you. Yeah, But also too,

659
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: it's like they can't rise to the higher nature because

660
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: it's not destined for them to rise to the higher nature.

661
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: Like this is divine when I tell when I say,

662
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: we're adulting and we're with our families and we're on vacation,

663
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,359
Speaker 1: like this is deep, this is divine. This is that

664
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 1: this is the highest levels of ourselves. Like we're out

665
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: here because we want, you know, mental wellness, Like we're

666
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 1: feeding ourselves. We're feeding our souls right now. Like you

667
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 1: come to Cobo to feed your soul. You invite your

668
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: friends here because you want them to get their souls

669
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 1: fairn til we come here we feel that energy. You

670
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: can't get that with no side, chick, you know what

671
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like you're gonna be sneaking around in hotels

672
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 1: late at night in two in the morning. It's like

673
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 1: there's nothing to be fed there, So like they couldn't

674
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 1: rise to that occasion if they tried. Yeah, you can't

675
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: get that with a with a side, check a side, dude.

676
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: You can't get that with surface people, you know, like

677
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: you know, even people who just surround themselves with people

678
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: that only speak to the surface of who you are. Yeah,

679
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 1: that's that's where you're feeding your ego and not your soul.

680
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: That's really what you're doing, and you're setting yourself up

681
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: for a lonely life. And nobody wants that because at

682
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 1: the end of the day, truthfully, do not really feel

683
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: like there's none of this matter is anyway, Like we're blessed,

684
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But at the end of

685
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 1: the day, when you're seventy eighty years old, you know

686
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, all you're going to have is your

687
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: peace of mind and all you're gonna have is your soul,

688
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: and you want both of those things to be pure,

689
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: pure as possible, so the only energy you're going to

690
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: want around you, and at that age, you should only

691
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 1: be attracting positive energy. Like you think about the woman

692
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 1: that we just left right put out. She is and

693
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,959
Speaker 1: I know people, I know a woman like her, my people,

694
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:10,280
Speaker 1: jan but she's so pure, her energy is so pure,

695
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 1: she's only going to attract other pure souls. So you

696
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: look at it and you say, oh, so crazy that

697
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,800
Speaker 1: she randomly would invite people to our house. That's not random,

698
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. That's God saying, Yo, you

699
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 1: have a attraction to this person in some way, it's

700
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: a magnetism, Like this person is like you. Y'all are

701
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 1: like minded, y'all are y'all are y'all are attached to

702
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 1: the soul and some type of energy, Like you're not

703
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,320
Speaker 1: just inviting random people over, like you know what I'm saying.

704
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 1: Like that only happens when you get to a certain

705
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 1: age and a certain level of experience where you're just

706
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 1: pure and peaceful, Like you know, the people that are

707
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: coming into your life are just good, solid people. So

708
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: like you, we're all going to get to that age

709
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: where that's all we have is energy. So when we

710
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 1: get to the age where all you have is energy,

711
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 1: you want your energy to be like you don't want

712
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: to be lonely. Can you imagine still being old and

713
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: feeling and secure, you know what I'm saying, having regrets,

714
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like like like like upset

715
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 1: because of the poor choices that you made when you

716
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: was young, when all you really had to do with

717
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 1: the right thing. It's so much easier to do than

718
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 1: you imagine, so much like me, I want peace of mind. Yeah,

719
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 1: I think to like people a thing that I've had

720
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 1: to learn, and I guess the thing that we need

721
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: to be a little bit more gentle with our elders

722
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: about is us being who we are right now right

723
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: Having self discovery is a luxury, and it's the first

724
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: time in history on such a broad and mainstream level

725
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,720
Speaker 1: have people been able to actually do something like beyond

726
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: the Journey or find themselves or you know everything the

727
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: books that exist, seeing Instagram posts, you know, having you know,

728
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 1: extra extra income that you can make for yourself to

729
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 1: do things for yourself. This self care, like all of

730
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: that is so recent obviously, you know, there have been

731
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 1: things that have existed for since the dawn of time,

732
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: but usually only a few people got to know that

733
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 1: stuff and it definitely was not done or set on

734
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: a mainstream level. So when we're super blessed in that too,

735
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 1: it's not for everybody in this lifetime, and we have

736
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 1: to be okay with that, you know, because that's another

737
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: thing like when you start to do the work and

738
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 1: you change, it seems so common sense and you want

739
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: everyone in your life to have that and experience that,

740
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: but they also have their own curriculum. They were put

741
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,839
Speaker 1: on this earth to learn their own things and their

742
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 1: own time, and it's not our decision when or how,

743
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, that's the biggest thing, like this

744
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 1: knowing that things happen for everybody else on their time

745
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: and and not yours. But the only thing we can

746
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: do is be vessels, you know. I'm saying, like I said,

747
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: when you know better, you do better. But you also

748
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 1: teach better, you know, and and it will happen in

749
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: your your actions. I saw I saw Joe Biden retweets

750
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: something the other day and it was interesting because it said, um,

751
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 1: the guy ACTU really named me Nipsey Hustle and Joe

752
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: and he was like, yo, y'all think Joe Budden is

753
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,719
Speaker 1: a dope podcaster. But he said what Joe did was

754
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: get dope at life. You know what I'm saying. He

755
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 1: and he said, yo, and he said, Charlottage, Nipsey, and

756
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 1: Joe Budden all became better people. Yeah, and I truly

757
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 1: and that too. Yeah, I mean, I don't. I don't

758
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 1: know Gucci. That's funny because I know Gucci because we

759
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: all see the evolution, so you can see it. But

760
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: I mean I've I've I've had conversations with Nipsey and

761
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: Joe and all them, so I know I've seen I'm

762
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: doing Joe forever. But it's just like, yeah, and that's

763
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 1: something that I always said to myself, like if I

764
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 1: become a better person, everything else will fall into place.

765
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: We had this conversation a couple days ago. I was like, yeah,

766
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: I don't the professional is easy at this point as

767
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: long as you keep getting better as a human being

768
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 1: and sharing that journey, sharing that experience. I wrote a

769
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: whole new book because of that experience of just me

770
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 1: going to therapy and you know, you know, coming to

771
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 1: terms with my mental health and then I'm learning so much,

772
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 1: you know, new stuff about me. But then also learning

773
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: new stuff about my family, which helps me be better

774
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 1: because I'm realizing, like, Okay, a lot of the things

775
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 1: that I feel, a lot of things that I go through,

776
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: this is hereditary, you know what I'm saying. And it

777
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: helped me to Like when I found out my father

778
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 1: has been getting a check for mental health for thirty

779
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 1: plus years, and he tried to kill himself thirty years ago.

780
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 1: And he only told you that after he read your books. Yes,

781
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 1: when he told me this Thanksgiving A two thousand eighteen,

782
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 1: he was teen. The twelve different medications, he tried therapy

783
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,399
Speaker 1: two or three times a week. You know, he wanted

784
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: to kill himself thirty years ago. I never knew any

785
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 1: of this, But it makes me look at him different

786
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: now because now I realized, Okay, those times we has

787
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: to visit him in rehab and when he was alcoholic

788
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: or he was on coke, stuff like that, he was

789
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 1: self medicating. Like I understand that he was going through

790
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: a lot of trauma, you know what I'm saying. Like

791
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: I can think of you know, beatings that I used

792
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: to get when I was young that I didn't think

793
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: nothing of back then. Him was like God, damn, don't

794
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 1: act up. Or you're gonna get beat with that extension,

795
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 1: or your pop's gonna make you go take a bath.

796
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 1: Now you think about how extreme that was, because hurt people.

797
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 1: Hurt people, you know what I'm saying. So it's just

798
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: like all of that helped me to love him in

799
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 1: a different way and understand him in a different way.

800
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 1: And it helps me to love myself in a different

801
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 1: way and understand myself in a different way because I realized,

802
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:26,439
Speaker 1: like yo, in order to really be better humans, we

803
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: all have to break these cycles, you know what I'm saying.

804
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: And we can't repair the trauma that our parents went through,

805
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: but we can repair the trauma that we went through

806
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: and have a better understanding of our parents trauma to

807
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 1: make sure our kids don't have to deal with that,

808
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So yeah, like you said,

809
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 1: it's very what you said is true. Was like, this

810
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 1: is a new era of self discovery for so many

811
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 1: of us. But we have the luxury to do that.

812
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: You know, they didn't have that luxury. How can I

813
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: can you have that luxury when you're a mother in

814
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 1: South Carolina making twenty tho dollars a year, Yeah, and

815
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,919
Speaker 1: you got five kids? Like when when did my mom

816
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 1: have a chance to discover herself? You know, I guess

817
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: when she went to the Kingdom Hall maybe that was

818
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 1: probably her her refuge. But like, when did my pops

819
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: have a chance to discover himself? You know what I'm saying,

820
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 1: Like they didn't. We have that luxury. It's such a gift.

821
00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 1: It really is such a gift. And it's like I

822
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: I get excited to think of, like what are we

823
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 1: gonna in fifty years? Right when when people are writing

824
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 1: about today, what are going to be the ramifications? On

825
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: one hand, it's gonna be a little scary when you

826
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: think about the impact social media maybe has had on

827
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 1: us or you know what all the Internet babies are

828
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:40,959
Speaker 1: going to grow up to be. But on the flip

829
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 1: side of that, the yend to the yang is this

830
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: real chance to change the course of generations by healing traumas.

831
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,280
Speaker 1: Like I'm I'm a huge believer that the only way

832
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 1: to truly create a generational change, specifically in communities of color,

833
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,959
Speaker 1: but this also applies to everybody, is by helping people

834
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: learn how to be whole, Like you can absolutely right,

835
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: we can change our destinies economically, and you know, all

836
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: these all these other ways, like people are always talking

837
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 1: about like advancements in different spaces. No matter how much

838
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: money you make, if you are broken, it will make

839
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 1: no change or difference. When you give somebody the opportunity

840
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 1: to seek wholness, when you give them the tools to

841
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: do that, and they are then able to share those things,

842
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: that's the only way we're really going to see a

843
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: significant impact in the whole world. I think that we

844
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 1: can attempt wholeness, and even attempting wholeness is the biggest

845
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: part of the journey of the battle. You know, um

846
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 1: describing for perfection, and I feel like that's what that's

847
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: what it is like. It's it's always a constant process

848
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: of trying to get to that wholeness. I don't know

849
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:57,720
Speaker 1: if we ever will truly, And I get what he's saying,

850
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't when I look at it. I look

851
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 1: at it from a standpoint of even calling it perfection

852
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: is so ego based and unattainable, whereas like wholeness is

853
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 1: such a personalized completion, you know, it's such a It's

854
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 1: like I want to make the most serving choices for me.

855
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: I want to do what's right because it's right, because

856
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 1: it's right, simple, I promise you. Man. Like it's because

857
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: I've always felt like I'm guided by a high power, right,

858
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: and I know that high power is always watching me.

859
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 1: And always say that the bad things that happened to

860
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 1: me are because of my poor choices, the good things

861
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 1: that happened to me or because of God. But then again,

862
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,840
Speaker 1: I don't believe it necessarily good are bad experiences. I

863
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: believe that's all just part of a process. And I

864
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 1: believe like God just has me going through this process

865
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 1: at all times. And like, I know that there's a

866
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: high power always paying attention to what I'm doing. That's

867
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 1: why I want to do us right, you know, saying

868
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 1: you know how they say your characters who you are

869
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: when nobody's watching. Yeah, but there's always a higher power watching,

870
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 1: so just always makes sure you're constantly doing the right

871
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 1: thing in the universe. Yeah, Like you like, no matter

872
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: how good we think something makes us feel like on

873
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 1: a subconscious psyche level, you always know what you're doing.

874
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 1: You know what you're doing. Do you want to take

875
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 1: on that level of shame or guilt that may not

876
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 1: service immediately, but that will always sit with you in

877
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 1: the pit of your stomach. I don't want that because

878
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: I feel like ship and not only I feel like

879
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 1: like I'm full of ship, and I think I don't

880
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 1: like to do is feel like I'm full of ship

881
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: because I can't sit here and bullshit you like I

882
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 1: know if I know I'm if I know I'm doing

883
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 1: some foul ship, like that's why I'm not good with it.

884
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 1: Like I can't lie to my wife, you know what

885
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I can't pretend to be something that I'm not,

886
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And it's much more fun

887
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: to listen. Women know first of all, everything, They know

888
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 1: everything like I can. I can see the difference in

889
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: my wife because she knows that I'm out here doing

890
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 1: what the hell I'm supposed to be doing, you know

891
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like our our intuitive power is honestly

892
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 1: second to none, at least for women that are are

893
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 1: tapped into the goodness of themselves. I've and I'm not

894
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,280
Speaker 1: even trying to say this boastfully, I've never been wrong

895
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 1: any any insight that I've had, anything that I have

896
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 1: thought that has come to me about anything. And I'm

897
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: not talking about like you know, some of that stuff.

898
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 1: I mean specifically, like even like, hey, watch out for

899
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 1: that person or hey, this person in our life, I

900
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: think it's gonna end up like this, or that I've

901
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 1: never once, ever, once been wrong. Damn, it's wild. And

902
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: I think you know, God, when your heart is good,

903
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 1: God heightens your intuition. I like to part. So I

904
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 1: do feel that I have a lot of vision into

905
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 1: many of the things that happened in my life in

906
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 1: a way that I cannot always explain. I dream about

907
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 1: stuff it happens. It's the most bizarre thing. I think

908
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:58,280
Speaker 1: that the older you get to your senses, I heightened

909
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: because I feel way more than I felt. Well, no,

910
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 1: I've always felt, but I can really I feel people's pain,

911
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: I feel people's happiness. I feel empathy in a way

912
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 1: that I never felt empathy before. Like I had to

913
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: stop myself today because I was working out and I'm

914
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 1: looking out at the waters we're working out, and I'm like,

915
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 1: it's somebody that has I know it's done me wrong,

916
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: and like I see their world crumbling, and I'm happy

917
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: that their world is crumbling. But then I also get

918
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: sad because I don't really wish bad on nobody. But

919
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 1: then like for just like these brief moments and I'm

920
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 1: in the gym, I'm thinking about beating the person up

921
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 1: and all kind of stuff. And then it's like it's

922
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 1: like God said to me, could you chill out and

923
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: let me handle this? You don't have to do nothing

924
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 1: all right by and by the way, I don't even

925
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,239
Speaker 1: think that's God that's that punishes you when you're wrong.

926
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 1: I just think that's just what happens you. You you

927
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 1: put some negative energy, I think it's gonna all come

928
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 1: back to you. Not The only person that can get

929
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 1: you out of it is God. But he didn't do

930
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: that to you. You know what I'm saying, Like, I don't,

931
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,080
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't ever feel that way. That's so,

932
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 1: But that's what my mind, and my mind was just like,

933
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 1: could you just let the universe do what it does? Like?

934
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 1: And you know, like so in Sanskrit, karma the word

935
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 1: everyone always overuses. It just means action, that's it. And

936
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: it's just an action. Um. So it's always going to happen,

937
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 1: and you're not always going to realize I got karma

938
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 1: because of what I did here? You know it really

939
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,240
Speaker 1: does it ever happen that way? Especially like something um

940
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,240
Speaker 1: that used to drive me crazy. It's like I'd be like, well,

941
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 1: I wonder if that person when something bad happens, we're

942
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 1: gonna say this is happening to me because what I

943
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 1: did to Debbie, that would never happen. People are too

944
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 1: self involved for that to be the case. But you know,

945
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:43,839
Speaker 1: I don't know something I've really worked towards because I've

946
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 1: had I've had some significant betrayals in my life. I

947
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 1: went above and beyond for people, and then they came

948
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: in and for whatever reason decided that they wanted to

949
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 1: shoot on me and make my life hard. You know,

950
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 1: that's not gonna stop me from showing of the other people.

951
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, because I feel like that's

952
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 1: sometimes what the devil wants. The devil wants you to

953
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 1: have a bad experience with an individual and then you

954
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,360
Speaker 1: stop doing your work. He wants to be changed. Yeah.

955
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna stop doing my work. I'm not gonna

956
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:16,879
Speaker 1: stop being a public servant. I'm not gonna stop being

957
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: here from people just because this one person decided they

958
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 1: wanted to shoot on me. Because I know what I

959
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:26,959
Speaker 1: did for that individual, and that individual knows no matter

960
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: how you act, no matter how much. You go around

961
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 1: and tell everybody else I'm I'm a terrible person and

962
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,720
Speaker 1: the worst experience you like whatever, you know, the truth

963
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,360
Speaker 1: that that was always like a big source of my anxiety.

964
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 1: A big source of my anxiety was like knowing that

965
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:42,480
Speaker 1: I wasn't living the way I was supposed to live.

966
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,799
Speaker 1: So when bad things would happen to me, I know

967
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 1: that that was my fault, Like I caused that to

968
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: happen because of a poor choice that I mean because

969
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 1: if energy that I may have been given out, that

970
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 1: wasn't right. But when you when you really are submitting

971
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: your will to your higher nature, when you're submitting your

972
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 1: will to the God, and you you just realize whatever

973
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 1: happens in your life is just part of the process. Like, yeah,

974
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 1: things may happen that people may look at me like,

975
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: oh that's messed up. You don't have your losses and

976
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: stuff like that. But I don't trip because I feel like, Okay,

977
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 1: God is clearly blocking me. You know what I'm saying

978
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,840
Speaker 1: from something. You know what I'm saying. Nobody at blocking

979
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 1: something from me? You know what I mean? Like this

980
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 1: isn't part of your path right now? I want you

981
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 1: to continue to keep doing what you're doing. But I'm

982
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 1: closing this door for a reason, and I'm not gonna

983
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: question it, you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm not

984
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 1: gonna question it. Of course, in your mind you'd be like, damn,

985
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 1: why did that happen? Or why did I lose this?

986
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 1: Why did I lose that? It's because I wanted you

987
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 1: to you know what I mean, same way I went out.

988
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,240
Speaker 1: You don't ask that question when you get blessed with something,

989
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. When I bless you with something,

990
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 1: you don't ask why God Like like, so don't ask

991
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: when I decided to close the door. I'm really the

992
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 1: best CEO out here, like I know what. Like That's

993
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:57,760
Speaker 1: that's how I really feel like God, because God is like, yo,

994
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 1: I know what's best for you because they he really

995
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 1: does or she really does. I don't know what it

996
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 1: really does. You know what I'm saying. God's timing is

997
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 1: perfect always always, and I just I sit back and

998
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:13,400
Speaker 1: I watch you, like you know, he always puts me

999
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: into situations that I need to be in. Yeah, you

1000
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, that's not what I want to

1001
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: need to be always, and it's always the right people,

1002
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 1: it's always the right situation, and it's just like that

1003
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: shift is what makes all the difference. And I think

1004
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 1: that's especially what gives you and whatever it is that

1005
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 1: you're doing longevity, because the thing that gets overused is

1006
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 1: the idea of purpose. I have to find my purpose.

1007
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 1: All of our purpose is to be of service. Anything

1008
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 1: else you do is just add a little skill sets

1009
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 1: that you made have. But when you realize that, no

1010
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 1: matter what job title you have where whether it's radio

1011
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: superstar and author like you or you know, teacher or

1012
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: McDonald's drive through employee, if what you're doing comes from

1013
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 1: a place where you recognize that your goal in life

1014
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 1: is to be of service to others, you have found

1015
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: your purpose. You're walking in purpose. Purpose is not one thing.

1016
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: It's not my purpose is that I'm going to be this. No,

1017
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 1: that's ego, that's career services. All of our purpose, everything

1018
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,120
Speaker 1: else is the details. I learned that a while ago,

1019
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 1: like you know, your true purpose comes with service to others.

1020
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 1: I remember reading that in the Power of Intention by

1021
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 1: Wayning W. Diet. And the reason I hold on to

1022
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 1: that so much is because you don't have to be

1023
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:35,359
Speaker 1: rich to be of service. You don't have to be,

1024
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,800
Speaker 1: you know, in a certain position to be of service,

1025
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 1: like anybody can serve, you know, And that's what really

1026
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,120
Speaker 1: makes me feel fulfilled. Like I say it all the time.

1027
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 1: If I was a ballplayer, I would much rather leave

1028
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,160
Speaker 1: the league and assistant points. You know what I'm saying,

1029
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 1: Because when you leave the league assists, you're helping other people.

1030
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 1: That's what life is about to me, Like, that's that's

1031
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: what really makes me feel fulfilled at this point in

1032
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 1: my life. And when you even talking about like divine purpose,

1033
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 1: it's like, yo, at the age I am now, I

1034
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,760
Speaker 1: totally can look back at every single situation in my life,

1035
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 1: whether you label it good, whether you label it bad,

1036
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 1: it all served a greater purpose every I mean every

1037
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 1: single situation. Such a great job of illustrating that in

1038
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: both your books, Like it's such your books are incredible.

1039
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 1: First of all, I was like shot shot right, I

1040
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 1: always wrote, though write for old Then my mom was

1041
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:36,800
Speaker 1: that people was teaching, so I would like always be

1042
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 1: writing short stories and stuff like that. I wasn't too

1043
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 1: shure I could write a book England. But that's why

1044
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 1: I got my man, Chris Monroe, to teach me how

1045
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 1: to actually write a book, you know, but because I

1046
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 1: could always wanted it was wild because I know you

1047
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: very well and we have a lot of like really

1048
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: deep conversations a lot that I read that book and

1049
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 1: there were so many new facets I didn't know, and

1050
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 1: there was so much like Gym's you know, so many

1051
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:02,800
Speaker 1: things is in there where I was like, wow, oh wow,

1052
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 1: you know, so I think that's such an awesome thing

1053
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 1: to be able to do when you're already a transparent person,

1054
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 1: but then you're still like digging deeper and you're giving

1055
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 1: people the unexpected. Absolutely, I mean that's what books do,

1056
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,239
Speaker 1: those books, you know, it causes you to go deep

1057
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 1: and like as you're writing these things, and especially with

1058
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 1: my second book, because of therapy, like my therapist helped

1059
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 1: me to understand my feelings more so. Being that I

1060
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: could understand my feelings more and I started to like

1061
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 1: deal with the trauma from things that happened to me

1062
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 1: when I was younger. It enabled me to be able

1063
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 1: to explain what I was feeling better yes, you know,

1064
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 1: and then take it deeper. And that's what therapy taught

1065
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 1: me to was self inquiry. Like the best tool you

1066
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:51,720
Speaker 1: can give yourself is to ask your own self questions

1067
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 1: about you, and even when you think you have an answer,

1068
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,279
Speaker 1: ask again and ask again, and then you just go

1069
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: deeper and deeper and deeper, and before you know, your

1070
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 1: crying three year old and remember why you're you know,

1071
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 1: you know, it's so crazy because like I feel like

1072
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 1: I wrote Chikun too early. Yeah, and and like you know,

1073
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 1: because Chiokun is really just me scratching the surface because

1074
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 1: like I said, it's so much that I learned. I

1075
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 1: learned about my father and his issues and how a

1076
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 1: lot of this stuff is hereditary, and you know, like

1077
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 1: even my little sister she deals with things. And like

1078
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 1: you know, I grew up not liking my little sister

1079
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 1: because of how disrespectful I used to think she was,

1080
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: but she was dealing with her own mental health issues,

1081
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So it's just like that

1082
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 1: made me look at her in a different way and

1083
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 1: start loving her more, you know, I mean, being the

1084
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 1: big brother she probably always needed. So it's just like

1085
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 1: it's so much, yeah, Like it's just so much I've

1086
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:51,280
Speaker 1: learned about myself, you know, in the past a couple

1087
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 1: of years. But I feel like that once again, that

1088
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 1: book wasn't for me. You know that that book is

1089
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 1: something that needed to be in the ecosyce them in

1090
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 1: two thousand, in in eighteen, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,

1091
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 1: it'll definitely be more books. But I did like the

1092
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 1: conversation was the conversation about mental health and our community

1093
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:14,240
Speaker 1: has been elevated so much over the past few years,

1094
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 1: and you know, this book is just something that just

1095
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: needed to be out there. I wasn't even I didn't

1096
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 1: even set out to write a book about mental health

1097
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:23,880
Speaker 1: or anything like. I just was I'm going to talk

1098
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 1: about my experiences and and and in the process of

1099
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 1: me talking about my experiences, everybody around me like, yeah,

1100
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 1: you know, this is a book about mental health. Like

1101
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 1: you're going to therapy and you're talking about your anxiety

1102
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 1: and PTSD and trauma from the things that happened to

1103
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 1: you when you was young, and like, yo, this is

1104
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 1: something that's never been done before. I'm like, oh, okay.

1105
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: So that's when I brought him a man doctor ish

1106
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 1: to give the clinical correlations so people could read this.

1107
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: So people could read this book and just decide to

1108
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: actually go out there and start doing more self discovery,

1109
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 1: like like that this book is the beginning stages of healing,

1110
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: not only for myself but just for a lot of

1111
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 1: different people. So that's why mean when I said I

1112
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 1: feel like I wrote a two earlier, but and maybe not,

1113
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 1: because you know, this is what God wanted. This is

1114
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: what God put on my heart to do and put

1115
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: out there. And you know, I get so many you know,

1116
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: hits on social media and people walk up to me

1117
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: in the street and tell me, man, I started going

1118
00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: to therapy because of you, and you know, yo, I'm

1119
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 1: starting to like deal with my own issues because of

1120
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 1: what you were talking about and shook one and I'm like,

1121
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 1: that's that's dope. Like so this just like I said,

1122
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 1: some things are bigger than you, and this is definitely

1123
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 1: bigger than me. That's incredible. I really feel like listening

1124
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: to you talk that you embody the hero's journey. Are

1125
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 1: you familiar with that? Joseph Campbell? The Hero's Journey? So

1126
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 1: it's all about um basically fighting your demons, slaying your dragons.

1127
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 1: But the only way to really complete the circle of

1128
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 1: your transformation of self is by then sharing that information

1129
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 1: with others, by bringing it back to where you were

1130
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 1: from to share it. UM and that's what that's what

1131
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 1: elevates you, that's what stands you in your purpose, that's

1132
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: what you know gives you more of a handle in destiny.

1133
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 1: And that's exactly what you're doing. And I think that

1134
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:09,480
Speaker 1: that's why you've been so wildly successful, because you're so

1135
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: authentically yourself in every stage of yourself. You know, and

1136
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,919
Speaker 1: then you're not afraid to share mistakes, you're not afraid

1137
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 1: to share pitfalls, and you're not afraid to say, hey,

1138
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 1: I thought I knew it all then, but now I've

1139
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:24,480
Speaker 1: learned this, and here I am. And then at the

1140
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: next stage, now I've learned this, and here I am.

1141
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 1: What is an amazing stage because I felt this shift

1142
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 1: and I was trying to think back, like, yo, I

1143
00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 1: don't remember feeling like this at third. I don't remember

1144
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 1: feeling like this at twenty. I might have felt like

1145
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 1: it's a team, but I can't go I felt like

1146
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:48,960
Speaker 1: that at team because you're in double digits. Now it's

1147
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 1: an event. Yeah, and I'm in forty definitely in the

1148
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,240
Speaker 1: vetin it's a great milestone. But I'm talking about like

1149
00:59:56,800 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: I could feel myself shift into a different dimension, almost

1150
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 1: like a different level of consciousness. Can describe it like

1151
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 1: everything changed at forty and I'm at the point right

1152
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:16,000
Speaker 1: now where I don't know ship everything I thought I

1153
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: knew about myself, everything I thought I knew about life,

1154
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 1: I don't know anything. Like, I don't like all, Like

1155
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 1: my old playbook is gone. Seriously, I birth like it

1156
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 1: don't serve me. Yeah, that doesn't serve me at all.

1157
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 1: So it's just like at forty, I'm just I'm kind

1158
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 1: of just living if that makes yeah, Like I'm not

1159
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:43,400
Speaker 1: trying to bed fluid. I'm not trying to control anything.

1160
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:47,520
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to, uh say, hey, I'm gonna do

1161
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:51,000
Speaker 1: this and then this will happen. I'm just living. I

1162
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 1: just want to be your best father, best husband, best friend.

1163
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 1: Everything else will fall into place. That's that's genuinely how

1164
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,640
Speaker 1: I feel. It was the only three things I am

1165
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:03,720
Speaker 1: absolutely sure about. I'm going to be a great father,

1166
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 1: a great husband, and a great dream. Everything else on

1167
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 1: the place. Always that's the cheat code. Everyone always wants

1168
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 1: to know, how do you balance it all? How do

1169
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 1: you do this? How do you become successful? What you

1170
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: just described is it that's simple and also that difficult.

1171
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 1: You strive to be the best, highest, version of you,

1172
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: separated from ego and everything. And people would always say, oh,

1173
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 1: how do I want to in my career? How do

1174
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:32,680
Speaker 1: I do this? What's the best way? Strive to be

1175
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 1: the best, most whole version of yourself, most compassionate, kindest

1176
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 1: version of yourself? All of that. Everything else is a

1177
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 1: byproduct of that for everything else all in the place,

1178
01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 1: And I feel like it makes me a better It

1179
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 1: makes me a better Everything happened conversation of yesterday. By point,

1180
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:56,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, I don't care about anything professionally. I

1181
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 1: don't have any professional goal. Look like I know that

1182
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 1: sounds why. I don't be wrong. I got you know,

1183
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 1: of course I got you know. I project wanted to

1184
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 1: produce this show. Yeah, you have a lot in the pipeline.

1185
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 1: Yeah if I do a late night show, cool. But

1186
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 1: it's like I'm not pressed. Yeah you know what I'm saying,

1187
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 1: Like these are just ideas I want to get out

1188
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 1: and everything that I'm doing really does serve a higher purpose,

1189
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 1: Like it's a it's a it's a lesson and everything.

1190
01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm not doing any project that it's

1191
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 1: not gonna make somebody think about what's going on in

1192
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 1: their actual life. You know what I'm saying, Like, I

1193
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: feel like art is the best way to teach people,

1194
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 1: even when we talk about you know, uh, infidelity and

1195
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 1: you know, how to treat women like what caused us

1196
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 1: to do these things in the birthplace, Most of the

1197
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:46,160
Speaker 1: times art, you know what I'm saying. And art is

1198
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,919
Speaker 1: a reflection of life. So all these dudes were doing

1199
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,520
Speaker 1: in their music was reflecting what gods were doing in

1200
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 1: real life. So now the narrative has changed because brothers

1201
01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 1: are embracing like being with one woman and you know,

1202
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 1: being married and aising their families and you know, being

1203
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 1: vulnerable and doing the work you know, dealing with them

1204
01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:06,440
Speaker 1: in the hub. Wanted every all of that. So the

1205
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 1: art is the best way to reflect the thing that

1206
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:12,360
Speaker 1: I do TV, you know books. It has to serve

1207
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: a bigger purpose and it has to you know, make

1208
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 1: people want to be the best version of the I

1209
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 1: love it. We gotta in this interview because it's our

1210
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:25,840
Speaker 1: last night in Mexico and we're gonna go. We are

1211
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 1: gonna go to the fire pit and mix. Morris, I

1212
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 1: love you so much to thank you, thank you for

1213
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:42,560
Speaker 1: being on the show. And yeah, give a ship big

1214
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 1: thank you for listening to this episode of the Dropping

1215
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:48,880
Speaker 1: Gems podcast. This show is executive produced by Adrian Scott

1216
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 1: and me Debbie Brown. Our theme music was created by

1217
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,240
Speaker 1: producer day One and the poem that you heard at

1218
01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:56,440
Speaker 1: the beginning of the show, well that was created especially

1219
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 1: for us by award winning poet and I'm the Elk

1220
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:01,360
Speaker 1: for If you have a quick moment right now, please

1221
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 1: hit subscribe on the show and if you like what

1222
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:06,160
Speaker 1: you heard, take it a step further and give us

1223
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,920
Speaker 1: a five star rating. Until next time, you connect with

1224
01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:11,680
Speaker 1: me on I g at Debbie Brown or my website

1225
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 1: Debbie brown dot com. Be blessed, h