1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of my Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:19,319 Speaker 1: Today's tip is about how to make big decisions. You 4 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,159 Speaker 1: don't want to ruminate on the small stuff. But with 5 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: anything major, no this your first idea might not be 6 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: your best idea. You want to give yourself space to 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: pull it over. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, 8 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: with something that's by no means high stakes but will 9 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: affect day to day life in my household. People who 10 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: read my blog or follow me on Instagram know that 11 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: I'm expecting a fifth baby in January. Now, as my 12 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: family gets bigger, we've been trying to figure out how 13 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: to configure our bedrooms and living spaces so everyone is happy. 14 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: There are lots of options, but every option has upsides 15 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: and downsides. We could move, but buying and selling houses 16 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: involves transaction costs. We could stay and have more kids 17 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: share bedrooms, but some already are sharing and they aren't 18 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: all thrilled about it. So then there's the possibility of 19 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: renovating to add more space. My first thought after surveying 20 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: my house and studying the internet was to finish the 21 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: attic it's a reasonable idea, but further research revealed that 22 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 1: this project would likely involve an architect and lots of 23 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: permitting and a lot of time and noise. I wasn't 24 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: sure I had the capacity to manage that. But the 25 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 1: good news is that no one needs to make an 26 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: immediate decision. By thinking about my options before anything is urgent, 27 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: I can mull over my instincts and ask if they 28 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: make sense. I can recognize that my first ideas aren't 29 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: necessarily my best ideas. In time, more ideas might come 30 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: to me. Indeed, this is exactly what happened. After pondering 31 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: the attic idea for a while and getting feedback, I 32 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: decided to look around my house again with an open mind. 33 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: I realized that the finished basement offered more ready options 34 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: than the unfinished attic. This project would be much more doable. 35 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: It would be less expensive and time consuming. Making a 36 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: decision without intense time pressure allows us to see possibilities 37 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: In general, in life, I find this to be the case, 38 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 1: and sometimes time pressure focuses us, but sometimes it limits us. 39 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: For instance, one of the worst times to be job 40 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: hunting is when you really need a job, when you're 41 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: just passively looking. Because you're already employed, you can really 42 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 1: think about whether you like an offer or if you 43 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: might be able to flush out a different offer by 44 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: meeting with friends and colleagues at other organizations. When I 45 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: talk with people who are re entering the workforce after 46 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: caring for children, I suggest that it be a family 47 00:02:56,639 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: priority to give these job seekers the gift of time. 48 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: If you've been out of the workforce for five years, 49 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: it's not a huge deal if you start a new 50 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: job in April or October. But by taking the time 51 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: pressure off, you increase the chances of finding something you'll 52 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: craft into a position that works well for you and 53 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: your family. So how do you build in space to 54 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: mull it over. You don't want to lose your life 55 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,959 Speaker 1: to decision makings, but there are ways to structure life 56 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 1: to leave space for decisions. It helps to survey upcoming 57 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: life transitions and events that might necessitate choices. Talk with 58 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: the people in your life who might be part of 59 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 1: these decisions. Ask about their thoughts, Ask for ideas, Ask 60 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: what other people have done in similar circumstances. Come up 61 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: with your own ideas, make lists, and then step away, 62 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: take a vacation, go somewhere for a long weekend, do 63 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: a more involved volunteer project. I promise that when you 64 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: come back to your list of options, you'll see it 65 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: in a new light. Or maybe you'll have more options 66 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: to add, and the odds are good that one of 67 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: those options might be better than your first thoughts. You 68 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: give yourself a huge gift by leaving space to pull 69 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: it over in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, 70 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 71 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 72 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 73 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. 74 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: That's b E the number four than breakfast p o D. 75 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 76 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: podcast at iHeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is 77 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I 78 00:04:55,720 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a 79 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I 80 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: Heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 81 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H