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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: I ruined my mother in law's Christmas meal after she

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Speaker 2: crossed a line not Christmas. I knew it was going

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Speaker 2: to be bad, but I decided to give it a chance.

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Speaker 2: So let's preface this with how the plans came about.

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Speaker 2: Each year, mother in law asks us earlier and earlier

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Speaker 2: about what our plans will be because I don't think

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Speaker 2: anyone else would spend it with her. If I'm being honest,

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Speaker 2: we are basically required to spend the day with them.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user no Masterpiece for

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Speaker 2: ten and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay story Time subburd So

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Speaker 2: two weeks before Christmas, mother in law rang and said

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Speaker 2: she would be cooking for us, under the guise of

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Speaker 2: us being so busy with work and deserving a break.

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Speaker 2: I was like no, but I settled in the middle

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Speaker 2: as it wasn't worth an argument. She said she would

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Speaker 2: do the turkey and the dessert. Okay, no problem. She

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Speaker 2: knows I don't like Christmas putting, but only brought Christmas pudding.

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Speaker 3: Hey dude, did I just like totally nail that they

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Speaker 3: were British?

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Speaker 2: I think, so wow, Yeah you did. Luckily, I had

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Speaker 2: planned ahead for this exact situation and bought a yule

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Speaker 2: log Ah nice roll around to Christmas Eve and she

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Speaker 2: demands we spend the day with her because it's their tradition.

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Speaker 2: Never mind my side of the family and the fact

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Speaker 2: that we're spending tomorrow with them. She knows I struggle

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Speaker 2: with body confidence and this woman is a walking trigger.

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Speaker 2: We mentioned that we watched Bridget Jones and she immediately

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Speaker 2: went full monologue about how thin and beautiful she is

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Speaker 2: after losing all that weight. Oh, just like Bridget did

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Speaker 2: in the movie. Sorry, well, what love. She's kept going

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Speaker 2: on and on about it, and I swear she saw

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Speaker 2: my reaction and did it to hurt me. I hate

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Speaker 2: this the most. She said other horrible crap about my

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Speaker 2: weight before. I'm five five seventy kilograms, so hardly overweight.

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Speaker 3: Anyway.

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Speaker 2: They insist we follow their schedule on Christmas, even though

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Speaker 2: we always worked around them when they hosted, we now

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Speaker 2: had to eat at five point thirty instead of two,

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Speaker 2: which is when we would have liked. Fast forward to

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Speaker 2: the big day itself. When they arrive, she says to me,

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Speaker 2: go peel the veg so I do. Fifteen minutes later,

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Speaker 2: she comes in and tells me I've peeled the carrots wrong,

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Speaker 2: which I don't even know how to you do that.

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Speaker 2: You do it sideways, not long, witties. I don't peel carrots,

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Speaker 2: no idea how you peel carrots wrong. I'm a thirty

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Speaker 2: two year old woman. Then she dismisses me from the

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Speaker 2: kitchen and tells me I'm not allowed back in for

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Speaker 2: the rest of the time. We start cooking around three

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Speaker 2: point thirty. At this point I know she's just going

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Speaker 2: to cook what and how she wants. She tells me

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Speaker 2: we won't be using my seasoning of choice, rosemary, and

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Speaker 2: that she'll handle it. Then she nominates my husband to

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Speaker 2: go in and cook with her. I hear several quiet

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Speaker 2: conversations clearly meant for his years. Only later on I

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Speaker 2: go in to grab a drink and this woman had

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Speaker 2: the audacity to repeatedly tell me.

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Speaker 3: Go away, go away, go away.

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Speaker 2: In my own kitchen. On Christmas Day, the meal I

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Speaker 2: was supposed to be cooking. My husband has said or

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Speaker 2: done pretty much nothing. I confronted him later, but he

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Speaker 2: claimed he didn't see or hear anything of concern. After

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Speaker 2: several digs at me and my knowledge, I get an

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Speaker 2: attitude and start making things difficult for her. After dinner,

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Speaker 2: I call my dad and start joking that the meal

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Speaker 2: was so awful and that I hope he gets cat

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Speaker 2: food next year because it would be better than this.

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Speaker 2: And man, was she unhappy. But I used her own

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Speaker 2: techniques against her, disguised it as a joke, and made

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Speaker 2: offensive comments. Anyway, they left. Yeah, I mean that was

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Speaker 2: that really the way to handle it. I mean, sometimes

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Speaker 2: you know, maybe you know, like a little conversation you're

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Speaker 2: like just yeah, you know, the dinner. I was expecting

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Speaker 2: a lot more out of it. It just wasn't up

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Speaker 2: to par. And meanwhile, she's five feet away like she's

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Speaker 2: see it, and you go, oh my god. Now I

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Speaker 2: was being sarcastic.

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Speaker 3: I'm joking cooking was so great. High Actually I'm joking, I'm.

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Speaker 2: So glad you didn't use any salt and that rosemary

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Speaker 2: is illegal in the kitchen.

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Speaker 3: Now, yeah, thank you. Honestly hate my food with season nine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Normally they would text something saying like thanks, it

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Speaker 2: was wonderful, but it's been radio silence. Oh and I

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Speaker 2: also did something chalot e thought about it cool while wasted.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely I turned up the oven temperature on their Christmas

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Speaker 2: putting and burned it on purpose. When they saw it

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Speaker 2: was burnt, I sat down in silence, enjoyed my u

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Speaker 2: log and went, mmm, I love ulog.

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Speaker 3: What's going on?

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Speaker 2: It's such a shame, not enough for anyone else. I'm

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Speaker 2: also I'm so sorry about your burnt pudding. I feel

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Speaker 2: effing fantastic. After they left, I absolutely lost it at

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Speaker 2: my husband for the first time properly. He tried to

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Speaker 2: hug me, but I said, no, you need to see

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Speaker 2: how much this is hurting me as I stood there

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Speaker 2: screaming and crying about how they treat me. Okay, don't

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Speaker 2: know if that's the best way to go about that.

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Speaker 3: Okay, girlie, I am sensing that we may not me

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Speaker 3: using some healthy.

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Speaker 2: Community something a little toxist relationship.

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Speaker 3: And I don't think you need to, you know, reenact

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Speaker 3: how it's hurting to you to your husband. I think

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Speaker 3: we can use our words. I don't think we have

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Speaker 3: to scream and cry.

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Speaker 2: We can cry, don't scream, no cry, describe cry.

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Speaker 3: I can cry, don't scream and cry.

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Speaker 2: I told him I will not be spending any more

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Speaker 2: Christmases with her or her birthday in January. I am

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Speaker 2: perpetually busy now and will not be going over. He

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Speaker 2: can now deal with having to explain why I'm no

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Speaker 2: longer existing in their lives. That was his choice. He

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Speaker 2: can deal with it because I'm sick of advocating for

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Speaker 2: myself and getting zero fing support. But we had already

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Speaker 2: spent the last two years with them. We said no

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Speaker 2: because we want to host Christmas for the first time

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Speaker 2: this year. They said, okay, we'll come to you then,

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Speaker 2: and I already knew it would go down like this. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they hijacked your host. Anyway, on the presumption that we

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Speaker 2: are hosting, one would naturally assume that we're also going

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Speaker 2: to be making dinner. My friend who was an absolute

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Speaker 2: gem in helping me through that day. She was tx me,

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Speaker 2: keeping me sane and strong. It should have been my

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Speaker 2: husband though. Anyway, I'm sure there will be other stuff.

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Speaker 2: I remember that she did and put it in the comments.

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Speaker 2: We have an update. Oooh, okay, just tould we just

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Speaker 2: jump into it. I fink she'd give it a little

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Speaker 2: bit of advice. Here something we just give you a

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Speaker 2: jump jump. Hey, guys, can't thank you enough for all

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Speaker 2: the support yesterday, through tears and ugly cry laughing with you,

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Speaker 2: I have a small update. I'm going to send a text.

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Speaker 2: I've decided that I must let her know where we stand.

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Speaker 2: I'll be sending it tomorrow in the daytime, after having

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Speaker 2: slept on it. Though any advice is appreciated, I can't

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Speaker 2: promise I will apply it. I want it to be

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Speaker 2: in line with my feelings and beliefs. She knows nothing

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Speaker 2: at this stage, so it will come out of the

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Speaker 2: blue to her. Here's the text, Hey, mother in law,

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Speaker 2: I have had so many reservations about sending another text.

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Speaker 2: I believe this is now number three. But in less

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Speaker 2: serious changes are made than I will have to think

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Speaker 2: about how I wish to move forward in the future

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Speaker 2: with our relationship. After Christmas Day, I don't feel I

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Speaker 2: can keep quiet. I've been trying so hard to make

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Speaker 2: excuses for the things that have been said and done,

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Speaker 2: tried to keep smiling, but I'm afraid I have now

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Speaker 2: reached a limit. I'm not willing to surpass at my

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Speaker 2: own expense. Here are the main issues I've had over

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Speaker 2: the last couple of days. Note that there has been

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Speaker 2: an almost every visit something said that I have found hurtful,

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Speaker 2: but I can only summarize recent ones that have stuck

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Speaker 2: out to me. My dad, implying my dad was harmful

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Speaker 2: like yours. Accusing my dad of ill intent at his

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Speaker 2: job on a few occasions, saying my dad's wedding speech

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Speaker 2: was taken from the internet. Christmas, agreeing that we will

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Speaker 2: host Christmas Day, only to have been banned from my

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Speaker 2: own kitchen to cook how we want for our first

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Speaker 2: ever Christmas, saying go away when I tried to be involved,

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Speaker 2: down to the seasoning I wanted to use, even criticizing

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Speaker 2: the way I chopped the carrots, refusing to give me

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Speaker 2: even a vague idea of the time of meal readiness

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Speaker 2: so I could warm up cookies, food and make myself mash,

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Speaker 2: only to be told it's too late now. Control issues.

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Speaker 2: It feels like you just want to control everything. I

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Speaker 2: would never dream of telling you what to do in

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Speaker 2: your own kitchen. Remember these strogan off It happened again.

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Speaker 2: We tried to meet in the middle with you doing

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Speaker 2: the turkey, but I am thirty two years old and

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Speaker 2: more than capable of cooking roast vegetables. It is offensive

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Speaker 2: to me. I'm not in any way saying the food

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Speaker 2: was bad, because honestly it wasn't and I genuinely enjoyed

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Speaker 2: the meal, but the sour taste was left when you

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Speaker 2: removed my autonomy. You remove our autonomy consistently and cross

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Speaker 2: lines that no one should have to point out. I've

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Speaker 2: said this before and I don't intend on saying it again.

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Speaker 2: I'm honestly not ungrateful for any of the help or

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Speaker 2: advice you've given when it has been appropriate, but it

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Speaker 2: does often cross the line becoming disrespectful. I feel that

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Speaker 2: often it is said and done nicely, so it's hard

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Speaker 2: for me to push back, but it does come across

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Speaker 2: as disrespectful and controlling. For example, what we are allowed

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Speaker 2: to do on holiday. It's advice we don't want. Let

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Speaker 2: us do it our own way without making promises to you,

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Speaker 2: and let us make our own mistakes. And lastly, this

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Speaker 2: one happened a while back, but to be honest, it's

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Speaker 2: unforgettable and there is no other way. I believe this

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Speaker 2: would be said unless it was intended to hurt someone.

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Speaker 2: When you took me outside on my own to look

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Speaker 2: at the wedding flowers in the boot of your car,

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Speaker 2: I said, oh, lovely, you don't need to spend loads

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Speaker 2: on lots of flowers. A small bouquet is fine for me,

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Speaker 2: and you responded with you are a big girl, so

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Speaker 2: you'll need a big bouquet. I was shocked and silenced

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Speaker 2: the entire night, left and cried, but didn't know how

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Speaker 2: I could ever accuse you of saying that, as I

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Speaker 2: almost couldn't believe it myself, and being so close to

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Speaker 2: the wedding, didn't want to cause drama so brushed it

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Speaker 2: under the rug. Ultimately, I regret that, as I don't

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Speaker 2: think I will ever get over this, and at this

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Speaker 2: point can't find it in me to forgive you for

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Speaker 2: this comment. Aside from that, there have been several other

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Speaker 2: inappropriate comments about my weight in the past. I remember

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Speaker 2: once in the Lakes you were telling me that my

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Speaker 2: food choices were bad garthic bread because it will make

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Speaker 2: me even bigger. At the time, father in law even

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Speaker 2: stepped in to stop you and said, it isn't okay,

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Speaker 2: but you tried to justify and moved on. And by

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Speaker 2: the way, you can always justify moving on to listening

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Speaker 2: to full episodes with stories like these on Spotify, iHeartRadio,

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Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts. Just go listen

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Speaker 2: to every single episode of Okay Storytime by searching our

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Speaker 2: name on your platform of choice. After right after this, right,

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Speaker 2: too long, wait, wait, too long.

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Speaker 3: Too la. All I heard was your fault, your fault,

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Speaker 3: your fault. Here's more of your fault. That's what she

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Speaker 3: This is what she's gonna read. She's gonna be read.

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Speaker 3: She's gonna read, I hate you, mother in law, You're

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Speaker 3: the worst. Your fault, your fault, I hate you. That's

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Speaker 3: what she's gonna read.

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Speaker 2: In that, she's gonna hit you with the iron read

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Speaker 2: and all that.

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Speaker 3: If you want to open up a conversation, don't send this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, on a real level, like the likelihood of you

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Speaker 2: changing her ways at this point in her life significantly limited.

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Speaker 3: But I just don't think. I think that you could

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Speaker 3: potentially approach the conversation effectively, but not with this novel

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Speaker 3: of a text.

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Speaker 2: I think the person you need to approach is your husband. Yes,

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Speaker 2: in this situation, I am not okay with any of this,

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Speaker 2: and I also won't be silent any longer. I want

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Speaker 2: to move forward, but there have to be genuine changes,

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Speaker 2: and the next time a boundary is crossed, I will

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Speaker 2: be calling it out, and if it continues, I will

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Speaker 2: remove myself from the situation. I hope we can find

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Speaker 2: a way to move past this, but please give me

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Speaker 2: some space as I'm feeling pretty crap about the entire thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, too much.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that is the end of that story. And yaosa, yeah,

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Speaker 2: in the words of my friend. Look, sometimes we think

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Speaker 2: we need to say all of those.

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Speaker 3: Things right, and that is the process of kill your darlings. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but we we feel very attached to our thoughts and

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Speaker 3: our ideas and we think that we have to read

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Speaker 3: them out in their entirety.

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Speaker 2: In there when they were just conceived. But genesis of

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Speaker 2: the idea.

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Speaker 3: But twenty five percent of that is the meat.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't need to send every single thing that

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Speaker 2: you think about your mother in law to her. It's

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Speaker 2: all at the same time.

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Speaker 3: Probably great that you wrote that all out because now

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Speaker 3: you that and you know how you feel, and you know, like,

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Speaker 3: if she crosses this line, I'm not gonna take it.

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Speaker 3: What you send to her is, Hey, I wanted to

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Speaker 3: talk about how I felt at Christmas. This is how

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Speaker 3: I felt. Let's have a conversation about it. I want

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Speaker 3: to improve our relationship, but right now it feels like

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Speaker 3: we're at kind of a not great place.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you hit the gatling pew pew at

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Speaker 2: the end, you were like, every all the bullet points

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Speaker 2: you go and yeah, pounce. She's not gonna go. Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, Now that you've pointed out everything I've ever

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Speaker 2: done wrong, I see it.

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Speaker 3: If your goal is to attack her and then get

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Speaker 3: the heck out of there, and then sure send this.

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Speaker 3: But but yeah, if you want actual change, this is

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Speaker 3: not the way to get it. But that is the

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Speaker 3: end of that story. My boyfriend's mother is lived at

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Speaker 3: me because I refuse to live an isolated life with him.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean you don't want to spend your

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Speaker 2: evenings and your days and your afternoons in my basement

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Speaker 2: with my bowl.

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Speaker 3: To summarize, my boyfriend and I have been together for

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Speaker 3: five years. Whoot. From the beginning, his mom was not

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Speaker 3: a fan of me, as she had worked with my

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Speaker 3: mother at the same hospital and they didn't get along

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Speaker 3: too well. There is a lot of history, but I'll

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Speaker 3: just say the story that broke the camel's back. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Coolcakes, and if you want

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Speaker 3: to spit your own story, go to our Slash Showcase stores.

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Speaker 3: This incident is what has totally destroyed the relationship with

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Speaker 3: the family. My boyfriend wanted to ditch the apartment life

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Speaker 3: and live in a trailer up north, about three hours

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Speaker 3: away from my salon. He wanted me to quit my

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Speaker 3: job and go with them. I told him no, long

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Speaker 3: story short, we had broken up because we clearly had

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Speaker 3: different paths. Well, well, give it two weeks and he

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Speaker 3: deeply regrets the decision he made. He claimed he was

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Speaker 3: acting on impulse and thought it would be what he

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Speaker 3: wanted when it wasn't. I needed time before I took

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Speaker 3: him back because I didn't want to get myself in

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Speaker 3: a lease with someone who acts that irrational. His mother

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Speaker 3: was livid that I didn't immediately take him back. She

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Speaker 3: had told him, if she doesn't take you back by Friday,

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Speaker 3: let that witch go, and even highly encouraged him not

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Speaker 3: to be with me. It hurt my feelings because this woman,

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Speaker 3: to a woman I thought she could actually see my side.

301
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Speaker 3: But now once again I was wrong because I told

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Speaker 3: him I needed time before we got back. He was sad.

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00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,439
Speaker 3: He was posting moby stuff on Facebook. He was posting

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Speaker 3: moopy stuff on Facebook, and you could clearly see was heartbroken.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward a few months, with effort and lots of

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00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,440
Speaker 3: date nights, we reconciled. I was ready to put my

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Speaker 3: trust in him again, and honestly, we've been better than ever.

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Speaker 3: I truly think the break was something we both needed

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Speaker 3: to remind ourselves what we have and put some icues.

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Speaker 3: If you know where this is going. Things were going great. Well.

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Speaker 3: We were making dinner one night and his brother sends

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Speaker 3: him a text asking him, moms, as you're being misreadd

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Speaker 3: are you okay you can openly talk to me?

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Speaker 2: Just letting you know.

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Speaker 3: Mom says you're getting bullied. She says that I have

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Speaker 3: to tell you that you can talk to me if

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Speaker 3: you want.

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Speaker 2: The eye roll is so yes. Oh man, my nana says,

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Speaker 2: women don't sweat, we just glow.

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Speaker 3: We just listen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just glowing.

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Speaker 3: Oh so sad? Like, oh thank you?

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Speaker 2: What's the word? This feels orchestrated?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I was floored because I've spent five years taking

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Speaker 3: care of her son, doing his laundry, cooking him dinner,

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Speaker 3: and doing whatever I can to make him happy. I

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Speaker 3: just didn't want to quit my job and live in

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Speaker 3: a trailer, and she thought that made me selfish. He

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Speaker 3: texted back, what the ever are you talking about and says, no,

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Speaker 3: that's not the case at all, but his brother is

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Speaker 3: asking him if he's safe. I was like, what the f.

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Speaker 3: Because I would never lay my hands on him, I

333
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 3: would never intentionally want to hurt him, and I truly

334
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,520
Speaker 3: just want us both to be happy. Long story short.

335
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Speaker 3: She texted me saying she was just worried about her

336
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,760
Speaker 3: son because he hadn't texted her in a while and

337
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,520
Speaker 3: saw his sad Facebook post about us being broken up

338
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 3: and thought I was maybe abusing him. Well, I saw

339
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,840
Speaker 3: on Facebook that you were broken up, so I assumed.

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Speaker 2: That you were awful.

341
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Speaker 3: I mean there, but they're broken up. I thought it okay, Yeah,

342
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 3: I replied, if you were truly concerned, you should have

343
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 3: talked to him first before telling everyone in the family

344
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:09,840
Speaker 3: I abuse your son. She deleted me on all social media.

345
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Speaker 3: Social media. She deleted me on all social media, didn't

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00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,440
Speaker 3: say happy birthday, then texted me months later basically saying,

347
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 3: I'm sorry you felt that way for my words. I

348
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,840
Speaker 3: just said okay, and I want to move on. But

349
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 3: now my boyfriend's brother just had a baby and they

350
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,160
Speaker 3: want us all to get together on October fifth, and

351
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,040
Speaker 3: I'm scared. I literally have crippling anxiety at the thought

352
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,200
Speaker 3: of spending a weekend with them, as now everyone there

353
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,880
Speaker 3: was told I abuse my boyfriend. I literally have crippling

354
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,440
Speaker 3: anxiety at the thought of spending a weekend with them,

355
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Speaker 3: as now everyone there was told I abuse my boyfriend.

356
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Speaker 3: I'm embarrassed and don't feel comfortable. She also said we

357
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,520
Speaker 3: need to have a serious talk, and my boyfriend said, no,

358
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,600
Speaker 3: we really don't, but I just have a feeling confrontation

359
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 3: is going to happen.

360
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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, here's my game plan, right, what's your

361
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 2: game plan? You game plan with boyfriend? This boyfriend is

362
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,200
Speaker 2: on the same page as you. This is crazy.

363
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,840
Speaker 3: She also planned this on a Saturday with a week's notice.

364
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 3: I work on Saturdays. I'm a hair dresser, so he

365
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,000
Speaker 3: said I would be able to make it on Sunday,

366
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,960
Speaker 3: and she replied back, Wow, she just never wants to

367
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 3: show her faith or be around us. In summary, boyfriend's

368
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,280
Speaker 3: mom told everyone in the family I abuse him, gets

369
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 3: mad at me for my work schedule, and doesn't think

370
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,680
Speaker 3: we should be together. And now I have to see

371
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Speaker 3: them on October fourth to meet his brother's new baby.

372
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,960
Speaker 3: I told my boyfriend I didn't want to go, and

373
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Speaker 3: he is saying it's very important to him to prove

374
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Speaker 3: them wrong. So I'm doing it for him. I just

375
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,640
Speaker 3: need some advice. This is the worst feeling ever. It's

376
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,560
Speaker 3: like being watched, examined, and judged by a group of

377
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,400
Speaker 3: people who don't even know me at all.

378
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I've said my advice. That's exactly

379
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:43,600
Speaker 2: what I do. I think you get on the same

380
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Speaker 2: page with your boyfriend, kah present it to the group.

381
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,880
Speaker 2: Is there's a comment from miss Jaber that's like, make

382
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,480
Speaker 2: the mom correct her rumors. Don't do that. You can't.

383
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Speaker 3: She's not gonna do that. She's gonna be like she's

384
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,080
Speaker 3: gonna do like, she's gonna be like I have to

385
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 3: come on the stage and say that, oh P is

386
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,400
Speaker 3: not a abusing her boyfriend going.

387
00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,200
Speaker 2: To blink out like in morse code like sos like help,

388
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,040
Speaker 2: I'm being forced to say this against my will. She's

389
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,160
Speaker 2: gonna pull those severance.

390
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,120
Speaker 3: No, just get on the same page with that. Take

391
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 3: the power with your your boyfriend, and then you're and

392
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 3: then you're in the clear.

393
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah.

394
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,240
Speaker 3: Also, we live in a different state than his family,

395
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 3: so they've only met you a handful of time, if

396
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,359
Speaker 3: that matters at all. Update. I posted a little bit

397
00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 3: ago about how I was struggling with my role in

398
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,159
Speaker 3: this relationship with my mother in law. My husband started

399
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,600
Speaker 3: a new apprenticeship, works a ton of storm work, and

400
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,159
Speaker 3: has a class full time, so to say the least,

401
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,880
Speaker 3: he's very busy. Out of courtesy, I would update mother

402
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 3: in law as he does a great job keeping me

403
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,119
Speaker 3: in the loop, but not always his family. Over Christmas weekend,

404
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 3: my husband got sent to do storm work. What is this?

405
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,719
Speaker 2: I think, Uh, what is this? Really? Find says storm

406
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:49,199
Speaker 2: clean up?

407
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 3: Storm clean up?

408
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.

409
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 3: You know. I updated mother in law and then she

410
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,960
Speaker 3: proceeded to say, me and father in law are coming

411
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 3: down X days. As do you assume a husband will

412
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 3: be back by Then I talked my husband and he said, no,

413
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 3: I don't know how long I'll be gone. I related

414
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:06,840
Speaker 3: the message and she pushed and pushed. It was then

415
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,639
Speaker 3: I made my first post. I was done being the messenger.

416
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 3: She doesn't respect when I say no, right now is

417
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 3: not a good time for your son. He's busy. I

418
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,200
Speaker 3: told my husband I couldn't do this anymore. He agreed.

419
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 3: After he worked seventy hours of storm work. Mother in

420
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 3: law tried again. My husband said, I will let you

421
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,639
Speaker 3: know when it works for you to come down. He

422
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 3: just wanted to rest and catch up on school work.

423
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 3: He got released on Christmas Eve. They didn't know he

424
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 3: got released as I didn't share. So when she texted

425
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,960
Speaker 3: me and asked if he was back, bless you, I

426
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 3: said yes. It was short with no details. She then

427
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 3: asked a FaceTime on Christmas. Father in law says, on FaceTime,

428
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 3: you had time to update your wife, but not your mom.

429
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, nothing personal.

430
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 3: It was in a joking tone, but it still rubbed

431
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 3: me the wrong way. My husband said, yeah, that's my wife.

432
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 3: Then mother in law said to my husband, I thought

433
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,120
Speaker 3: maybe he just didn't like me anymore. She then posted

434
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 3: on Facebook, if they don't miss you, they never cared

435
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:01,919
Speaker 3: about you.

436
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, to be fair, my mom will pull stuff

437
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 2: like this sometimes, but not the Facebook post. She just

438
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 2: goes like, I just saw you didn't like me anymore,

439
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 2: and it's like, yeah, my dad will text her.

440
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 3: If I don't text my dad back enough, he'll be like,

441
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,919
Speaker 3: I guess you don't even care about your father anymore.

442
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like but then he won't go on

443
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,640
Speaker 2: Facebook and be like, I guess my daughter are just

444
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:21,920
Speaker 2: like never going to change.

445
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a wild move. On FaceTime, she tried

446
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 3: to plan for my husband's birthday, but he will be

447
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 3: working and said he will be very busy as he

448
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 3: has tests and a big final coming up. Well today,

449
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 3: you'll never guess what. After being told six different times

450
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 3: that we will let her know when things are good

451
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 3: for a visit, she calls my husband and says, I'm

452
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 3: coming down Tuesday. I made appointments and I really need

453
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,640
Speaker 3: to go to the Costco in your city. We live

454
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 3: five hours away. She didn't ask, she said, just like

455
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 3: the last time, Okay. Well basically what happened please is

456
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 3: that after telling her like, don't come, don't come, We'll

457
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,919
Speaker 3: let you know when you can come, she called them

458
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 3: and was like, Hey, I'm coming out, I'm coming, I'm

459
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 3: coming over and I need to go to Costco.

460
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 2: She'said, I'm coming over because I got into Costco.

461
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, my husband said, I mean it's a bit last minute.

462
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 3: She said, well, I already made plans and need to

463
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 3: go to Costco, Costco, Costco. That's why we're talking about it.

464
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,959
Speaker 3: So I'm livid at this point. This woman has been

465
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 3: told not right now multiple times and doesn't care. She

466
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 3: doesn't respect her space. Unfortunately, my husband felt he was

467
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 3: in a hard place and didn't know what to say

468
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 3: other than this is really last minute. I was pissed,

469
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,880
Speaker 3: as I feel this enables her behavior. My husband said

470
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 3: he's going to take care of it and have a

471
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,640
Speaker 3: firm conversation Tuesday when they arrive after dinner. My question

472
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,199
Speaker 3: is where do I stand in this conversation? Should I

473
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 3: just let my husband do all the talking. I wanted

474
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 3: to maybe mention a thing or two, like not just

475
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 3: texting me for plans, text the group chat, or how

476
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,640
Speaker 3: I'm in a hard situation if my husband doesn't want

477
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 3: to see them when they want to come down. But

478
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,440
Speaker 3: I'm thinking I should just stay silent and let him

479
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 3: take charge. He feels the same way and as ie

480
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,120
Speaker 3: what he plans to say, I just want to tread carefully,

481
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 3: as things can go extreme with this woman. My husband

482
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 3: agrees with everything written above, says he's unhappy with her

483
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,439
Speaker 3: as well, and thinks it's ridiculous by the way. You

484
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 3: know what's not ridiculous listening to full episodes of stories

485
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 3: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

486
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio and search the book a story time.

487
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 2: I will do that right after this story.

488
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 3: Just do that.

489
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 2: We do have a little more story round.

490
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 3: We've got a little bit. Do you have any final thoughts?

491
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I think with how your husband works, like

492
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 2: it's kind of hard to be like he has to

493
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: take point forever or whatever. Yeah, I think in this

494
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,199
Speaker 2: in this one situation, you can take point right. But

495
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 2: it's like you're gonna have to develop some path for

496
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 2: you to be able to communicate with the mother in

497
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 2: law or not even the mother in law y'allren't married,

498
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 2: but just like communicating with his mom without it being volatile. Yeah, exactly,

499
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 2: like figuring out the you know, the like what kind

500
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 2: of kid gloves you gotta wear, Like what order of

501
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: operations you need to do in order to like sort

502
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 2: of bypath her more volatile reactions and doesn't make her right.

503
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 2: Like I'm just saying, how do you make the situation

504
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 2: as peaceful and like effective as possible moving forward? It's

505
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 2: like you've got to figure out how she needs to

506
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:12,199
Speaker 2: be talked to.

507
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, and hopefully your husband will have some insight on that.

508
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. And also just keep communicating with your husband about

509
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,199
Speaker 2: where you're at with it.

510
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,399
Speaker 3: Yeah. What makes this complicated is mother in law lost

511
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 3: a child a few years ago and husband lost a sibling,

512
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 3: so there is grief there. However, that doesn't mean she

513
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 3: can disrespect boundaries. Thank you for reading, and I'll take

514
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 3: any advice. There is more context in my first post

515
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 3: about her behavior and why this woman gives me so

516
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,920
Speaker 3: much anxiety. Also, know is this upcoming conversation is going

517
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 3: to be a crap show, either with tears or anger.

518
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 3: And I just need solid advice on how to tackle this.

519
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,959
Speaker 3: And that is the end of the story. And there

520
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 3: you go. I think we gave you everything we can give.

521
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 3: You have the tools, now you must use them.

522
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 2: We have the tools to rebuild him being the dynamic

523
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 2: we have with our boyfriend's mother. Indeed, we've been estranged

524
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 2: from my stepmother in law because she's self centered.

525
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 3: Well maybe she should recenter herself.

526
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 2: Backstory for context. My husband's childless stepmom married his dad

527
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 2: when he was fifteen. I have known her since I

528
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 2: was seventeen when I started dating my now husband. And

529
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 2: by the way, this comes from user jib Girl and

530
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

531
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 2: the r slash okay storytime subreddit. SOO, she has been

532
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 2: a self absorbed, hardcore drain from the start. However, I

533
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: was young and a person who, due to childhood trauma,

534
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 2: always wanted to keep the peace, so I never rocked

535
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 2: the boat. When we got married, I saw some upcoming

536
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 2: challenges coming my way by her being my stepmother in law.

537
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 2: I really noticed it when we started having kids and

538
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: she was now grandmother to them. Got insufferable and I

539
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 2: would share info slash boundaries with her, but it never

540
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 2: hit home because she didn't want to face the music

541
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 2: and would be manipulative by crying to end the discussion.

542
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 2: Over the years, she had has been a thorn in

543
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 2: my side by constantly giving me unsolicited advice about my kids,

544
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 2: my pets, the garden, our food, et cetera. Keeping watchful

545
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 2: detective like tabs on us and interrogating us and testing us.

546
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 2: She has a shrill, annoying, intense voice and gets ornery

547
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 2: and argumentative. If my kids or I don't do it

548
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:23,679
Speaker 2: just like her, Oh, it comes across as lecturing, controlling

549
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 2: and highly critical. And also I don't respect her advice

550
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 2: for many reasons I won't get into, so I just

551
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 2: don't want to hear it from her at all. My

552
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 2: kids think of her as an elderly great aunt. They

553
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 2: have expressed she lacks the warmth of a grandmam. She

554
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 2: makes them uncomfortable at times with her intense and strange behaviors.

555
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 2: They love her, though, and I know she does love

556
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: them as well in her own way. Later on, I

557
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 2: tried to limit my contact with her as I was

558
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 2: developing a severe allergy to her and didn't want to

559
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 2: go into anaphylactic shocks way into the stepmother. I'm sure

560
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 2: that's being a little jokey, little choky like imagine though,

561
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, literally she started coming out and then

562
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 2: my throat would close up and my eyes would swell shot,

563
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 2: and it's like you're allergic to perfume. Yeah, this would

564
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 2: be a great excuse to not have her around.

565
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, I'm literally allergic to you. You can't be

566
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 3: around man.

567
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 2: Sorry, your presence will literally send me to the hospital.

568
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 3: Uh bummer.

569
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 2: However, there were some issues this spring I couldn't push away.

570
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 2: My mom was being made to feel uncomfortable by my

571
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 2: stepmother in law, who was lately always grilling her for

572
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 2: information while we would do combined family activities, and I'm

573
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 2: very protective of my mom. Also, I had lent stepmother

574
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 2: in law a pair of my glasses, and when I

575
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 2: asked for them back, because she is a hoarder, she

576
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 2: had a hard time giving my glasses back to me

577
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 2: and gave me the third degree. So this past June,

578
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 2: I texted stepmother in law regarding these issues, not a

579
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 2: phone call because she interrupts and cries and nothing can

580
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 2: be said or resolved.

581
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 3: HI.

582
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 2: Great seeing you and Blank last night. That was neath

583
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 2: that Blank could have some one on one time with

584
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: both of her grandparents together. I would have shared this

585
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 2: last night, but I didn't want to discuss in front

586
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 2: of Blank. Last night, while you were interrogating me about

587
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 2: my glasses and then about if my mom attended the

588
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 2: game in blank location, it made me think about how

589
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 2: this is an ongoing issue. I've heard you talk to

590
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 2: my mom many times and interrogate her about how long

591
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 2: she stays at my house and whatnot. It is obnoxious.

592
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 2: No more interrogating when you talk. Please, thank you, smiley face.

593
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 2: That was that's not going to be received. Well, that

594
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 2: was a declaration of war.

595
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 3: I'm sorry you called her obnoxious.

596
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's she's like kind of had a great message

597
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 2: in a way.

598
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you go oxous.

599
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 2: It's obnoxious. Don't do that anymore.

600
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 3: Girl. That's like that again. People need a less like

601
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 3: a class in how to text things when they're trying,

602
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 3: when they're trying to confront people. How do we text people?

603
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 2: Guys talk to gen Z. Talk to gen Z. They

604
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 2: know how to text. It's exhausting, but they know how

605
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 2: to do it.

606
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 3: It's true.

607
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,959
Speaker 2: My stepmother in law never responded with no apology and

608
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 2: never spoke about it. We had a family dinner event

609
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 2: a couple weeks after I sent that text, and she

610
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 2: acted sheepish and injured, like she couldn't walk properly. I

611
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 2: said hello, gave her a hug like I always do.

612
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: We then had a couple more family events lumped together

613
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 2: all in June, and I noticed the same sheepish look, walking,

614
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: funny victim vibes, et cetera, so we didn't really chat.

615
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 2: There was an obvious wall between us, but other people

616
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: were there, so there was a buffer. She saw my

617
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 2: mom at these events, never apologized to her, though to date,

618
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 2: I haven't seen my stepmother in law since the end

619
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 2: of June. Fast forward to November, my husband wrote her

620
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 2: an email as he wants to get the ball rolling

621
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 2: for resolution since there has been no contact on her end.

622
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 2: He outlined deeper details about how in our twenty years

623
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: of marriage, our interactions with her have been unpleasant due

624
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 2: to what I've outlined already and talks of moving forward

625
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 2: and what that looks like. His dad updated him, saying

626
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 2: it was not enjoyable for her to read, and sometimes

627
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 2: the truth isn't enjoyable to hear.

628
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 3: Maybe he did a better He had a better email

629
00:28:59,360 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 3: than a piece.

630
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 2: Time have been could have been that she has written

631
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 2: and rewritten responses, but nothing has been sent back to

632
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 2: him that she's considering going to counseling. I recognize that

633
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 2: the ball is in her court since I haven't seen

634
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 2: or had any contact with her since early summer and

635
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: it's been a relief for me. I haven't missed her

636
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: and her mind games. I don't want her back in

637
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 2: my life. I dread her coming back as I'm unable

638
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: to make all of those accommodations like I used to.

639
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 2: It is gone. There's an edit. I'm seeing that she

640
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 2: is a covert narcissist, and this article sums up a

641
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 2: lot of what's occurred in our twenty year relationship update update.

642
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 2: She responded, ooh, dear blank and Blank, this long I

643
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 2: ever do, and I do sincerely apologize for that. What

644
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: a long, dark, difficult, and seemingly slow journey these last

645
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: months have been. I have never experienced anything like it,

646
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 2: and I'm still processing what the Lord has been showing me,

647
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 2: teaching me, and reminding me. If you are interested at

648
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: some point in learning what it has been like and

649
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 2: continues to be like, I'll share some of what he

650
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 2: has been doing. Mostly now, I'm excited to finally see

651
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 2: a light at the end of the time, Hunnel and

652
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 2: did not be so paralyzed. One very important reminder is

653
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 2: that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but

654
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 2: against the powers, principalities, and rulers of the darkness. Ephesians

655
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: six twelve. Oh girl, his main goal is to deceive

656
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: harm and destroy it.

657
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 3: Oh girl? What?

658
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 2: But you know the Holy Spirit and it's giving me

659
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 2: such encouraging and hopeful images of us all standing together,

660
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 2: arm in arm facing the attacks.

661
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 3: She's like, our problems are bought a pebble in the ocean.

662
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 3: That is the.

663
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,719
Speaker 2: Evil of the devil.

664
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:31,719
Speaker 3: Did you think about that?

665
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: Have you thought about that? Have you thought it all

666
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 2: for one second about how evil the devil is? With

667
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 2: God's help, we will do mighty things, sir, he will

668
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 2: trample our foes Psalms sixty twelve. Several nights after that

669
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: was the dream of all seven of us playing games together.

670
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 2: Then last night it was the dream of giving you

671
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 2: a heartfelt apology in person. I'm trusting this is a

672
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: message from the Holy Sparrah.

673
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 3: Call this woman Joseph and the technicolored dream coat because

674
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 3: she's having visions.

675
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 2: Thank you for letting me slash us know what's going

676
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: on for you Regarding various frustrations. I want you to

677
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 2: know I am very sorry for any part I've had

678
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 2: in the frustrations and hurt you have felt, including missing

679
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 2: or not recognizing clues recent or past. You are right

680
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 2: it was not my intention that frustration, anger, or hurt

681
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 2: would result, just as the goal here was not to hurt.

682
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 2: Quote from email. I would love to say that it

683
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 2: won't happen again, but I can't promise that. No one can.

684
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: What I can promise is a humble apology, the desire

685
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: for your forgiveness and reconciliation and to move forward together

686
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: in Christ's love. Okay, B would like to get together

687
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 2: with you to talk in person, as text and email

688
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 2: are really not great for communicating heart issues with love

689
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 2: and new understanding. Stepmother in law ps. My counselor suggested

690
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: some guidance could be useful and offered to meet with

691
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 2: the four of us if you're interested. On okay, I

692
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 2: kind of felt the more that that went on, the

693
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 2: more bad I felt using the sort of mocking affectation. Yeah,

694
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 2: it did get a lot better there, Like.

695
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 3: It was a lot of Bible versus, but it felt

696
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 3: like just a really religious person, which is a different

697
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 3: type of annoyance than like annoyed that she's not apologizing

698
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 3: like she was apologizing, she was just also being like

699
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 3: super religiously.

700
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 2: But we have another update. Let's get into it first.

701
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 2: I will preface with thank you so much for the

702
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 2: previous responses. It's been very helpful for me to read

703
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,719
Speaker 2: through and get feedback from outside views. This has been

704
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 2: a support to talk with others because it felt like

705
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 2: my husband and I were walking through this alone all

706
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: these years. My husband wrote a response to my stepmother

707
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 2: in law where he detailed how we felt it's best

708
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 2: to continue communication through email to know interruptions where confusions

709
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 2: can occur. He talked about how it's fair for us

710
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 2: to know what she will be doing differently in order

711
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 2: to respect reasonable boundaries before we meet. He encouraged her

712
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 2: by saying it's good she's getting counseling. He mentioned that

713
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: it appears, based on what she said in the previous email,

714
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 2: that she didn't fully understand what we were expressing. He

715
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 2: told her to feel free to ask him questions for clarity.

716
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: He concluded with let's continue to keep the dialogue going.

717
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 2: He sent this message off a couple days before Christmas.

718
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: He had dropped off their Christmas gifts from both of

719
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 2: us to his father. We both recognized we weren't going

720
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 2: to see them at this time since we were working

721
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 2: through things, and this is the response we received yesterday. Oh, boy,

722
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: I bet the Bible verses are gonna be a lot

723
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 2: meaner today.

724
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they're about to get like she's about to

725
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 3: triple these Bible verses.

726
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: She's gonna I bet you she's maybe not even the Bible.

727
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 2: She's gonna like drop lines from like the Grinch.

728
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 3: I think what she's gonna do is she's gonna send

729
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 3: one of those blackout poems and she's just gonna take

730
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 3: a picture of like the pages of the Bible and

731
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 3: just like write her poem, write her letter by blacking

732
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 3: out the other words.

733
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, now I see you. At first I

734
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 2: was not so like aware.

735
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 3: Let there be communications right where.

736
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, she's yes, dear Opie's husband and no Pep.

737
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: Thanks for your response, Christmas wishes and gifts too, Thanks

738
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 2: also for your patients. We have been and continue to

739
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 2: be prayerfully considering the text and your emails. I bet

740
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 2: we very much much desire and look forward to having

741
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 2: a harmonious relationship just as you do. We continue to

742
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 2: seek God's counsel in his Word and the Holy Spirit,

743
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 2: along with a wonderful Christian counselor, especially to help me

744
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 2: regarding the roots of the deep despair triggered from receiving

745
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 2: the text oh no from your email's op's husband and

746
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 2: from a lot of thinking back. I am understanding that

747
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 2: you OP feel hurt or frustrated when I ask too

748
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 2: many questions, such as with the glasses to you, it

749
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: seems as if I'm interrogating you. I'm sorry you were upset,

750
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 2: and I will do my best not to ask too

751
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 2: many questions. If in the future there are times you

752
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 2: feel I am asking too many questions or I have

753
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,760
Speaker 2: a critical tone, would you please help me by letting

754
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 2: me know at the time in a way I would recognize.

755
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 2: It seems I have missed indications in the past, So

756
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 2: perhaps an agreed upon signal could work. Maybe a light

757
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 2: touch for putting your hand over your heart of something else.

758
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: This will help me recognize the moment and make a

759
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 2: correction when I need to step back, say something differently,

760
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 2: but perhaps not at all face. Regarding the time after

761
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 2: the soccer game, we recognized that we overstepped. I was

762
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 2: really looking forward to seeing the dog and playing with

763
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 2: him and your grand baby. I asked to come see

764
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 2: him and your husband, and you said it wasn't a

765
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 2: good idea. I pushed and your dad was sure it

766
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 2: would be fine since we would just be outside for

767
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,240
Speaker 2: a short bit and then leave. We did not respect

768
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 2: your request and we are very sorry for that. We

769
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 2: do want to respect boundaries. We realize that you have

770
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,439
Speaker 2: other situations that are troublesome and that you may want

771
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 2: to discuss. Would it be an option for the four

772
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 2: of us to meet somewhere for coffee and tea so

773
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 2: that we could talk together and more importantly, pray together.

774
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 2: We love you both very much and want to be

775
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,359
Speaker 2: a blessing to you. We are praying for you and

776
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: for us in all of this with much love. Stepmother

777
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 2: in law and father in law.

778
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 3: See that was doing so super well and then they

779
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 3: were like, let's pray together.

780
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 2: I mean like I feel like that's not necessarily a

781
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 2: bad thing, Like, no, it is, And it's more like

782
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 2: a boundary. It's not like yeah, it's like it's not

783
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 2: like we need to pray together. It's like, would you

784
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 2: be comfortable in Brandon because it's like, you know, people

785
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 2: have different believes more but.

786
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 3: Importantly than us talking about our issues being to pray together.

787
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 2: But you know, and in another way, it's like that's

788
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 2: kind of like you can, you can make the judgment call,

789
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 2: and like, all right, that's something that's you know, if

790
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 2: that's like a hard line for you that you like

791
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 2: cannot do, that's you know, then that's that's your decision.

792
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 2: But like if it's not like a hard line in

793
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 2: the sand that you cannot cross over, it's like maybe

794
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 2: doing like a prayer session with them could like really

795
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 2: improve like the quality of life of that dynamic and

796
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 2: that relationship. Name especially if you're going to be married

797
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 2: to this guy, you have grant, you have kids, like

798
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 2: they're gonna be around.

799
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,919
Speaker 3: I think the problem is though sometimes that that when

800
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 3: you do have very different like we don't actually I

801
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 3: don't know if we know too much about their beliefs,

802
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 3: oh peace beliefs.

803
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 2: And again, yeah, if it is a hard line in

804
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 2: the sand for you, that's fine. I'm just saying if

805
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 2: it's not, I would consider it because it could make

806
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 2: things way smoother if if you're open to it. So

807
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 2: there is an edit here. When I read that email

808
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,959
Speaker 2: right off the bat, I was concerned with a few

809
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 2: red flags when she said to you, it seems as

810
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 2: if I am interrogating you. Yes, actually you are interrogating me.

811
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 2: Don't get all gaslightly on me. And when she said

812
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 2: I'm sorry you were upset, she is again refusing to

813
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 2: acknowledge that her actions caused me to be upset. When

814
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 2: she talked about me doing a code signal, I'm currently

815
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 2: raising my kids. I don't have the desire or energy

816
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: to parent an adult. Been there, done that with my

817
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: own parents. She needs to do the work and figure

818
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,479
Speaker 2: it out. It's not my responsibility. She needs to take

819
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 2: ownership over this. I agree with that, but also in

820
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 2: a much more practical sense. You have just been given

821
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 2: a shut up button.

822
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's like it's true.

823
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 2: Take the shut up button for what it is. Yeah,

824
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 2: you just go and she stops stops talking. When she

825
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 2: said we want to respect your boundaries, then in the

826
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 2: next sentence, disrespects our boundary by pushing that we meet

827
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 2: even though we have clearly stated in the past that

828
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 2: we don't want to end. Why since I've known her,

829
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 2: she's always pushed and push to get her own way.

830
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 2: It was annoying how she threw her husband under the bus.

831
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,840
Speaker 2: My husband said it was her who crossed the line,

832
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 2: not his dad. Regarding coming over. Yes, my husband and

833
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,280
Speaker 2: I are both followers. Of Jesus. However, I am struggling

834
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 2: with her hiding behind what feels like scripture. It's something

835
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: that I've noticed and has challenged me over the years

836
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 2: in my interactions with her. I feel discouraged because I

837
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,399
Speaker 2: just don't have the energy anymore for this. I do

838
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 2: want this to work out, and I hope it does,

839
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 2: but I don't know how. At this point, I don't

840
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 2: know how to convey this in my own words. My

841
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 2: biggest challenge with her is that she knows deep down

842
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 2: what she's doing. She is very, very smart, cutting and manipulative.

843
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 2: She tries to be one step ahead of us. She

844
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 2: takes up space and is invasive. When we got married,

845
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 2: she took over our wedding day and that has set

846
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 2: the tone for our whole relationship. And by the way,

847
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 2: you can have a whole relationship with full episodes with

848
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:59,840
Speaker 2: stories like this On Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts wherever you listen.

849
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 2: Just search Okay story time and we are rapidly approaching

850
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 2: fifty three days worth of story time fifty three twenty

851
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 2: four hour cycles. Yeah, which is wild.

852
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 3: It seems like they both have the same religion, but

853
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 3: she is trying to play this weird moral high ground

854
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 3: of right, I'm the better Christian. That's what it feels like.

855
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 2: Right, It's like just maybe not what.

856
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 3: She's you know, doing or intending to do, but it

857
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:26,760
Speaker 3: is what it's coming across.

858
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 2: I'm sure she's intending to do it. She's trying to

859
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 2: probably keep it. She's probably thinking it's more low key

860
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 2: than it actually is. But it definitely feels like she's

861
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 2: weaponizing that.

862
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,280
Speaker 3: It's oh, especially want to make God man like, we need.

863
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 2: To right, we need to be holy. Let's finish this story.

864
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 2: Over the years, I thought I was being overly sensitive

865
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,479
Speaker 2: about these incidents that would come up, but as time

866
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: went on, I recognized the patterns and then tried to

867
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: brace myself for it. Now it gets under my skin,

868
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 2: actually makes my skin crawl, because when you have been

869
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 2: scrutinized and raked over by a brilliant and self serving

870
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 2: brain for over twenty it makes one feel the biggest

871
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 2: kind of ick. I feel violated. Thanks again for the feedback.

872
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 2: I appreciate all the insight. So that actually that is

873
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 2: the end, the end of that story. Interesting, I do.

874
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 2: I like that we're keeping for a boundary there where

875
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, so we're doing the email thing. She

876
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 2: keeps being like, let's meet up for coffee, and you, guys,

877
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 2: you just need to be like, hey, we've still said

878
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,880
Speaker 2: no to the coffee. And also, I didn't hear you

879
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 2: list a single actionable thing that is going to change

880
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,919
Speaker 2: our dynamic or our behavior here.

881
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you just kind of keep restating that boundary.

882
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 3: I hope eventually she figures it out.

883
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 2: And then eventually she'll start sending you Bible verses that

884
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 2: are like, and the seventh son of the seventh son

885
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 2: was cast down into the fire of the pit, and

886
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 2: it's like yeah, and then then you'll go, oh, she's

887
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:50,359
Speaker 2: not she's mad. She's mad. She's mad.

888
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 3: Man, she's not gonna change.

889
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

890
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 2: Here.

891
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

892
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

893
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 2: My cousin accused me of interfew with her life, so

894
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: I skipped her wedding.

895
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 3: If I can't interfere with your life, I won't interfere

896
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 3: with your wife.

897
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 2: For context, I'm Indian and all my extended family on

898
00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: my mother's side are very close. Names have been changed.

899
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 2: My cousin, Sheila is getting married in a few weeks

900
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 2: and I've decided not to attend. Sheila is my third cousin,

901
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 2: my mother's cousin's daughter. By the way, this comes from

902
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 2: user the Panda loves to Sleep and if you want

903
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

904
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 2: Okay storytime suburt So. We lived in the same city

905
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 2: growing up and had a sometimes close, sometimes distant relationship.

906
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 2: We've never had a falling out such as this, no

907
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 2: major altercations, but a lot of her behavior as we

908
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,720
Speaker 2: grew up bothered me. For example, both of us moved

909
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: to the same city, Delhi, for our jobs after completing graduation.

910
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 2: She's five years older than me. I was kind of

911
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 2: excited to have family in the city I was moving

912
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 2: to and asked her if we could live together. She

913
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 2: said her father said no, and that he had asked

914
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 2: her to stay with her friend. So I let it

915
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 2: go and got an apartment on my own. Frankly, I

916
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 2: don't hold a grudge over it, since everyone has their

917
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 2: own space requirements and maybe living with a family member

918
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 2: was just not her a thing. A few years later,

919
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,959
Speaker 2: her engagement was announced. In India, engagement ceremonies are also

920
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 2: full blown family events, not just a moment between the couple.

921
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 2: I was on leave from work at the time and

922
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 2: happened to be in our hometown where the ceremony was

923
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 2: to take place. I went to her house and participated

924
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,839
Speaker 2: in all the preparations, wrapping gifts, applying Hannah on all

925
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 2: my auntie's palms, even creating an engagement ring tray from

926
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 2: scratch and decorating it. I was very excited, as she's

927
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 2: the only older sister figure I have per se. On

928
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 2: the day of the engagement, I stayed by her side,

929
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 2: fixing her dress, her hair, etc. It was a pre ceremony. Afterwards,

930
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 2: she posted pictures on Instagram, and when I checked the post,

931
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 2: she had not posted a single picture with me, No

932
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: tagged photos, not one.

933
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,320
Speaker 3: She hates you a crime.

934
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,399
Speaker 2: I was being a little cheeky, but like truly, I'd

935
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 2: be like, are we good.

936
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like if I didn't post any photos of

937
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:17,959
Speaker 3: Dakota on the Columbia trip.

938
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 2: So I'll admit I felt a little bad she had

939
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 2: pictures with her friends and other cousins but not me.

940
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 2: I still didn't say anything because I felt I was

941
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 2: just being petty. It was just a post after all

942
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 2: a few months later. Unfortunately, the engagement broke off because

943
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 2: he cheated, and we were all very disheartened. She had

944
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,880
Speaker 2: actually left her job in Deli to prepare for this wedding.

945
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 2: Once the dust settled, a few months later, she took

946
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: up another job and came back. This time she contacted

947
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 2: me and asked if she could stay with me. I

948
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:54,799
Speaker 2: joyously agreed, but I had an apartment with only one

949
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 2: bedroom and it was quite small, so we decided to

950
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 2: look for another apartment that would be more comfortable for

951
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 2: two people. This was in February twenty twenty three, and

952
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 2: it took us about three weeks to hunt for a

953
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 2: new place. But we didn't like anything and we couldn't

954
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 2: decide on one. I even took a few days off

955
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 2: work to go apartment hunting with her, and during this

956
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,800
Speaker 2: time we were sharing my small space, so we became

957
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 2: close again. We shared secrets and had late night conversations.

958
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 3: It was fun, good time talk my boys.

959
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, around the same time, my grandmother fell really sick

960
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 2: and I had to visit her in my hometown. I

961
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,800
Speaker 2: left the keys to my apartment with Shila and went home.

962
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 2: My grandmother passed away, so I was gone longer than planned.

963
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 2: When I came back, Shila told me she had put

964
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 2: down a deposit on an apartment. It was a one

965
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 2: bedroom set and she had already moved into it by

966
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 2: the time I returned.

967
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 3: Whoa, I'm sorry. Wait, Like you guys had planned to

968
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,240
Speaker 3: live together, you were looking at places to live together,

969
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 3: and then you go, oh and take care of your

970
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 3: ailing grandmother and then she's like, already moved into a

971
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:03,439
Speaker 3: new place.

972
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 2: Timeline really is important here, and clearness of communication is

973
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 2: important here.

974
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 3: That's a weird move.

975
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 2: I think no one would be wrong here if the

976
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 2: friend is like, hey, like I can't wait for this timeline,

977
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna have to find something else, or if

978
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 2: she had said that yeah, yeah, but it's like, we

979
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 2: have to communicate things clearly. Can't just leave people in lurch,

980
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: hang them out to dry. We have a friend that

981
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,240
Speaker 2: had that done to them, mean keon, and they're thriving

982
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 2: right now, So Pete, you're gonna be thriving. I felt

983
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 2: like my time was wasted and even found some things

984
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:39,280
Speaker 2: missing from my apartment, like a beautiful moon lamp. Again,

985
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 2: no confrontation, what do you mean, I'd be like, hey,

986
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 2: did you take my moonlamp. She's like, we were going

987
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:45,760
Speaker 2: to steal.

988
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 3: Limmon, that's really weird and you should confront her about that.

989
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 3: I'm sorry she left. That feels especially weird for you

990
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 3: to come back. She's gone, some of your furniture is gone.

991
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 3: And then she's like, yeah, I moved out.

992
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,439
Speaker 2: It was all a play for the moon lamp.

993
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 3: She heo, king stole from.

994
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 2: You got to call that out immediately. Cut to a

995
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 2: year later, she fell in love with a guy and

996
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 2: posted a lot of pictures with him on Instagram. I

997
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 2: saw those and asked her about little details, as I

998
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 2: was happy she had moved on from her heartbreak. She

999
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 2: told me he was a guy from her office and

1000
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 2: that's where they met and felt for each other. I

1001
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 2: was happy. For a few months later, her mother announced

1002
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 2: to the whole family that she was getting married again,

1003
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 2: now to this guy. Mind you, it is a love marriage,

1004
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 2: which is a very sensitive subject in our family.

1005
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 3: As opposed to like an arranged marriage. That's about my understanding.

1006
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 2: I think I agree. Kudos to her for actually being

1007
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 2: able to convince her parents. When I found out about

1008
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 2: the wedding from my mother, in my excitement, I let

1009
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,919
Speaker 2: it slip that I had seen his pictures. My mom

1010
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 2: said that another cousin, Mayle, had also seen the pictures

1011
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 2: and mentioned them before the news of the wedding had

1012
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 2: even broken out. My mom asked to see them too,

1013
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: and since the wedding was already happening and others had

1014
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 2: spoken about seeing the picictures on her Instagram feed, I

1015
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 2: didn't think it needed to be a secret anymore. A

1016
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,240
Speaker 2: few days later, she sent me a very aggressive text

1017
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 2: asking if I had shown his pictures to anyone.

1018
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 3: Oh, come on, I'm sorry if you post pictures of

1019
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 3: yourself on your Instagram secret husband, unless you're being followed

1020
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,320
Speaker 3: only by like your three closest friends, and you say,

1021
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 3: don't share this with anyone, Like, if you're posting on Instagram,

1022
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:25,240
Speaker 3: it's public.

1023
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 2: He's a vampire. Have you been showing people pictures of

1024
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 2: an empty void with no one there, saying that.

1025
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 3: It's my husband you've given away you know?

1026
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 2: Okay, good, because that would be ridiculous. I'm not marrying

1027
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 2: a vampire office husband.

1028
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 3: I'm the only one in those pictures. Nothing to see here.

1029
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 2: She also said, don't you dare lie? I know the truth.

1030
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 2: I confessed and said yeah. After I got the news

1031
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 2: of the wedding. I showed them to my mom. She

1032
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 2: got mad at me, saying it was private.

1033
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 3: Then why did you put it on Instagram? You dummy.

1034
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 3: If you wanted it pride, then you should have texted

1035
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 3: those pictures and said keep these private.

1036
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 2: I apologize to her, saying that I didn't mean any

1037
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 2: harm by it. She outright said that she didn't want

1038
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 2: anyone interfering in her life. The use of that word

1039
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:18,439
Speaker 2: was hurtful. I said I wasn't interfering in any way

1040
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 2: and genuinely didn't see any harm in showing a few

1041
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,399
Speaker 2: pictures of the groom to be, which she herself had

1042
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 2: posted on Instagram to my mother. She said it got

1043
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 2: her into trouble and blamed me for it.

1044
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 3: How is that Ope's fault.

1045
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,320
Speaker 2: Your husband's existence is getting you into trouble. It's beyond

1046
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 2: Op's realm of expertise.

1047
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 3: You got in trouble for potentially, it seems posting something

1048
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 3: on a public form. Ohp, you didn't make that decision.

1049
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 3: People were going to find out regardless of AP was

1050
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: the messenger or not.

1051
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 2: I would get it if it was more like you're

1052
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 2: exposing the location of my secret wedding. But that's not

1053
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 2: literally not what's happening anyway. Back to it, I'll admit

1054
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 2: I got mad, thinking that if she wanted so much privacy,

1055
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 2: she shouldn't have posted the pictures in the first place.

1056
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,760
Speaker 2: All the cousins had seen the pictures, some had even

1057
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 2: met the guy, yet out of all of them, I

1058
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 2: was the one being called out.

1059
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 3: She just doesn't like you.

1060
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 2: I think maybe she might have beef with you. Maybe

1061
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 2: her new vampire husband made some comments about what's your

1062
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 2: cousin's good.

1063
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 3: Type, and she's trying to save you, trying to save

1064
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 3: you from her vampire husband, keep you away.

1065
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 2: I don't see the harm in showing pictures of the

1066
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 2: groom to be, which she herself had posted already to someone.

1067
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 2: I don't know what or how much trouble she got into.

1068
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 2: She never told me. I still feel she could have

1069
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 2: been less rude about it, or tried to talk afterward

1070
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 2: if she reacted in the heat of the moment. I

1071
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 2: admit it wasn't up to me to show the pictures

1072
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 2: to everyone, and in my defense, I shared them only

1073
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:49,240
Speaker 2: with my mom. I asked her too, and she swears

1074
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 2: she never said a word to anybody yeah.

1075
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 3: I mean like we already know that other people, other

1076
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 3: cousins were talking about it and saw those pictures, so

1077
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 3: you know it probably was shared with the cousin's parents

1078
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 3: by someone, and op just got in trouble.

1079
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 2: For it, being mad at op instead of being the

1080
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 2: mad at the people who are mad at her.

1081
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 3: I think that she's just skip going, Opie, be mad.

1082
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 2: At the people who are mad that your husband exists

1083
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,399
Speaker 2: and cares about you. I don't know what word got

1084
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 2: out or from where, since my mother swears she never

1085
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 2: said anything, I'm not going to doubt her. I genuinely

1086
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 2: apologized to Sheila when she confronted me, yet she has

1087
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 2: given me radio silence in return. So I've decided not

1088
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 2: to attend their wedding. If she thinks I'm interfering in

1089
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 2: her life, then I shouldn't be a part of her

1090
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 2: life event either. Neither of us had tried to contact

1091
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 2: the other since in my head, I've gone no contact

1092
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 2: with her, But since our families are very close, my

1093
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:44,319
Speaker 2: aunties and other cousins are saying I should come to

1094
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 2: the wedding and not hold a grudge. But I feel

1095
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 2: like I'm done. I don't want to keep a relationship

1096
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 2: with her, and I've put my foot down about not

1097
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 2: attending the wedding. Would I be the A hole? And,

1098
00:50:56,040 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 2: by the way, you certainly couldn't ever possibly be the

1099
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 2: A hole If you listen to full episodes with stories

1100
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 2: like this on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple podcast, YouTube podcast, wherever

1101
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 2: you get podcasts, search Okay story Time, and there you'll

1102
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: find the treasure Chest and it's fock full of stories.

1103
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 2: So we do have a little more story left before

1104
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:20,839
Speaker 2: we get into it. Would they be the A hole

1105
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 2: for not going?

1106
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 3: No, I don't think so. It seems like you have

1107
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 3: already apologized, You've already made those attempts to reconcile, and

1108
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 3: she's just ignoring you. It seems like you would not

1109
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 3: be welcome at this wedding. She's just blaming you for

1110
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 3: everything that's not your fault at all. I don't know

1111
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,320
Speaker 3: why she's reacting this way to you, but she's definitely

1112
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 3: scapegoating you.

1113
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 2: I think it's a bit of everyone's overreacting situation, because

1114
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 2: it's like Opie's friend is probably just like stressed out

1115
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:51,399
Speaker 2: because it's like a non arranged thing, who knows where

1116
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 2: she's actually getting it from, And it's like, depending on

1117
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 2: how long or how valuable the friendship is to you,

1118
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 2: that's something that you could be like how much you

1119
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 2: value your relationship your third cousin here? And if it's

1120
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,840
Speaker 2: like I don't really care, sure, like go no contact,

1121
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 2: don't go. But it's like, by not going, you're probably

1122
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 2: now opening up another can of worms that's gonna lead

1123
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 2: to more drama in your life. In our culture, it

1124
00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 2: is not common to send out invitations to parents and

1125
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 2: children separately. If there's a wedding in the family, it's

1126
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 2: implied that everyone will go, especially if it's close family.

1127
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 2: And since my mother and her mother are very close,

1128
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 2: there's no need for a formal invitation for my family

1129
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 2: to attend. Having said that, not once did she even

1130
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 2: mention that I should attend. She just lashed out on

1131
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 2: me and went radio silence. Since then, I'm not expecting

1132
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,879
Speaker 2: a formal invitation, but there was literally no word from

1133
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 2: her end that would indicate that she wants me there.

1134
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 2: I agree there's active beef here, but big family get

1135
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 2: together event, Indian engagement, wedding, whatever. Just go. Save yourself

1136
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 2: the months, potentially years of this thing continuing on and

1137
00:52:58,719 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 2: being a headache in your ear.

1138
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,440
Speaker 3: I think you have to find out what will be

1139
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 3: more of a headache for you and choose that option.

1140
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,439
Speaker 2: Let's finish this story so we have some comments. Comment

1141
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 2: number one short answer, it's an invitation, not a summons.

1142
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 2: You don't have to attend, Opie said, that's exactly what

1143
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,879
Speaker 2: I keep telling myself. The problem is I didn't make

1144
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,959
Speaker 2: up any work related excuse to not go that would

1145
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 2: have been acceptable. I just said I won't go. I

1146
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 2: don't go where I'm not heartily invited, and that led

1147
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,880
Speaker 2: to people saying that I'm being petty. Maybe I should

1148
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 2: have just made an excuse. Comment too says I'm just

1149
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,280
Speaker 2: guessing here, but maybe your cousin had made her Instagram

1150
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,839
Speaker 2: private from her parents because she wasn't sure how they

1151
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 2: would react to a love match. Probably one of your

1152
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:41,840
Speaker 2: other cousins let it slip to her parents and she

1153
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 2: decided to dump it on you. Op He does say,

1154
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 2: maybe if she talked about it, like actually had a conversation,

1155
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:49,960
Speaker 2: we could get to the bottom of it. But she

1156
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 2: just lashed out and that was that, and that is

1157
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,919
Speaker 2: the end of that story. That is true. It would

1158
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:56,919
Speaker 2: have been a private.

1159
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:58,800
Speaker 3: Story regardless, It's not oh, peace fault.

1160
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 2: Guess what your parents are going to figure out who

1161
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,319
Speaker 2: you're marrying when you get married at the wedding.

1162
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story.

1163
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John yo Og host here. We're gonna get

1164
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:08,879
Speaker 2: back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute

1165
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 2: break of ass from our sponsors.

1166
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 3: My grandmother is a nightmare. I don't want her in

1167
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:14,440
Speaker 3: my children's life.

1168
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 2: Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, Nikebear. Hey, everybody, this is

1169
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 2: the trigger warning at the top of the video. It

1170
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,399
Speaker 2: might look a little weird because this is just a

1171
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 2: heavy story. The grandmother in this story goes to a

1172
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:25,840
Speaker 2: lot of medical problems.

1173
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 3: She is sit tight. Friends, This is a long story

1174
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 3: that actually ended up stretching out over forty three years.

1175
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 3: We didn't learn most of it until last year. My

1176
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 3: twenty six mom forty eight, was born in South Georgia.

1177
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,359
Speaker 3: Her mom and dad divorced when she was little, and

1178
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 3: her mom, Charlotte, remarried to my papa, who adopted my

1179
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 3: mom when she was five. I think, by the way,

1180
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 3: this comes from chronic zebe and if you want to

1181
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay story

1182
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 3: time Severed It so my brother and I never even

1183
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 3: knew our papa wasn't her biological father until I was

1184
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 3: maybe fourteen, and it was eleven. We only found out

1185
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 3: because her biological grandmother found her on Facebook and my

1186
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 3: mom had a breakdown because she didn't know what to do.

1187
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:10,760
Speaker 3: Charlotte told her all her life that her biological father

1188
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,719
Speaker 3: was this mean, heavy drinker who mistreated them both and

1189
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 3: that she had to fight to leave and save themselves

1190
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,320
Speaker 3: from him. Spoiler alert, that's not what happened.

1191
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 2: She just was like, my character arc needs to be juicier.

1192
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 3: Charlotte came from a really messed up family and had

1193
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 3: thirteen brothers and sisters. When they were little, there was

1194
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 3: an accident and her three year old brother tragically lost

1195
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 3: his life. It was just an awful thing they all

1196
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 3: saw and lived through. Her mom was a victim of

1197
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 3: really bad DV and when Charlotte was thirteen, her dad

1198
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,879
Speaker 3: took his own life in front of all of them.

1199
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I think she was sixteen or seventeen

1200
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 3: when she had my mom. My mom's biological father was

1201
00:55:45,840 --> 00:55:48,280
Speaker 3: in the military. She actually left when he was stationed

1202
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 3: somewhere and he came home to an empty unfurnished house

1203
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 3: with only a kitchen table and divorce papers on the

1204
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 3: table already signed. Charlotte had a lot of health problems.

1205
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 3: She got toxic shocks and drum when my mom was

1206
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 3: in high school and my aunt was about to start

1207
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 3: middle school. Sorry, I forgot to mention Charlotte and my

1208
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 3: papa had my aunt when my mom was seven. She

1209
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 3: was actually supposed to be a boy, so the newspaper

1210
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,959
Speaker 3: that announced her birth had her picture with the boy name,

1211
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 3: which had to be converted to the girl version. Charlotte

1212
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 3: spent a lot of time in the hospital and almost

1213
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:22,799
Speaker 3: passed away, but eventually pulled through. However, my mom was

1214
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 3: responsible for literally everything at home. Aside from help with

1215
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 3: bills and groceries from Papap's paychecks, she was using her

1216
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:32,760
Speaker 3: own paychecks to cover the rest. There was a lawsuit

1217
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,760
Speaker 3: against the hospital because they left a sponge inside Charlotte

1218
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 3: during the surgery and she needed to clean out the infection.

1219
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 2: They left the sponge in there after the surgery to

1220
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 2: clean the infection. Oh no, she already had the infection.

1221
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 2: They went in, cleaned it up, left the sponge inside.

1222
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 2: That is pretty bad.

1223
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 3: There's a Good Doctor episode about someone leaving a towel

1224
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 3: inside someone after surgery. I don't understand how you forget

1225
00:56:58,480 --> 00:56:59,080
Speaker 3: that in there.

1226
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 2: Sometimes she puts so much stuff in there, you just

1227
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 2: lose trek.

1228
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 3: They had to go back and do another cleanout surgery

1229
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 3: because she went septic due to that sponge. She retired

1230
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 3: from work and they lived off that settlement money, her disability,

1231
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 3: her retirement, and papa's income After that. Growing up, my

1232
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 3: brother and I loved being at their house and spending

1233
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 3: time with them. Things stayed good between all of us

1234
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 3: until my mom got that message from her paternal grandmother.

1235
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 3: When she brought it up to Charlotte, we saw the

1236
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 3: reaction she had and the nasty accusations she made about

1237
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 3: my mom's biological father. That's when we saw the side

1238
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 3: of her that my mom talked about growing up with.

1239
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 3: Charlotte was really good and emotionally manipulating the people around her.

1240
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 3: She always had to have the last word in any argument.

1241
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 3: She once hit my mom on the head with the

1242
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 3: house phone when they were fighting and my mom was

1243
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 3: trying to call someone to come get her. Admittedly it

1244
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 3: was an older guy she was seeing at the time,

1245
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 3: but she learned her own lessons. When my mom tried

1246
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 3: to run away, they had her admitted to a psychiatric facility.

1247
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 2: For a month.

1248
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,160
Speaker 3: Charlotte had done a decent job of hiding her malicious

1249
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 3: behavior from my brother and Amy. However, my mind a

1250
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 3: lot faster than my brothers, so I understood more of

1251
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 3: what was going on, especially when she and my Pappa

1252
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 3: would argue and bicker. She was the worst kind of

1253
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 3: petty eloel, but I took her actions as lessons. I

1254
00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 3: learned to be equally as petty, but in a just

1255
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 3: way and only when warranted. The year after I graduated

1256
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 3: high school, Charlotte got really sick. She started having absent seizures,

1257
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 3: went unresponsive, and had to be taken to the emergency

1258
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:28,240
Speaker 3: room by ambulance. She stayed in the ICU for ninety

1259
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 3: something days before being transferred to her rehabilitation center inside

1260
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 3: a hospital in our state rather than the next state

1261
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 3: over where she had been. My aunt had a miracle

1262
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 3: baby with her now ex husband when I had just

1263
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 3: finished fifth grade. I knew pretty quickly that she was

1264
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 3: the new favorite of the family, but she was also

1265
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 3: my favorite too, and I helped take care of her

1266
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 3: from the day she was born to this very day.

1267
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,480
Speaker 2: I like that. I knew right away she was the

1268
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 2: favorite child because she was my favorite.

1269
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 3: Child, because I loved her too, and she's the best.

1270
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 3: When Charlotte came out of her coma, she ended up

1271
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 3: having staff nob dang, this girl cannot catch her break,

1272
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 3: which was worsened by COPD and e fiesma. They put

1273
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 3: her in a medically induced coma to give her lungs

1274
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 3: and body a chance to heal. When she saw me

1275
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 3: and my brother, she scoffed and asked why her favorite

1276
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:14,959
Speaker 3: wasn't there that hurt.

1277
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 2: My mom was.

1278
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 3: Very insistent that it wasn't really her talking, that her

1279
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 3: brain wasn't like it was before. But looking back on it,

1280
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure she just forgot how to keep her

1281
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 3: true form concealed. She eventually got to come home and

1282
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 3: was on permanent oxygen because her lungs were scarred and

1283
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 3: she couldn't sustain an two percent of ninety or above

1284
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 3: without it. She pretty much just started living on the

1285
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 3: couch in the living room, buying jewelry and clothes off

1286
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 3: TV shopping networks. She'd give backhanded compliments when someone said

1287
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 3: or did anything, then get mad at us when we

1288
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 3: didn't want to come up and see her because she

1289
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 3: would hurt our feelings. Every single time she started picking

1290
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 3: more fights with my Papa. They'd get into screaming matches,

1291
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 3: and she'd call my mom or my aunt to pitch

1292
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:59,440
Speaker 3: them this poor pitiful me story about how my papa

1293
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 3: was being me to her. It just escalated until it

1294
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 3: all blew up. Last year, Charlotte's sister had moved her

1295
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 3: camper into their backyard until she found a lot she

1296
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 3: liked with an open spot to park it. She had

1297
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 3: been a widow for a good six or seven years,

1298
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 3: so it was just her. Charlotte had to go back

1299
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 3: to the hospital periodically for random things. Most of the

1300
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 3: visits happened after big fights she'd picked with my Papa.

1301
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 3: A little while after her sister came to stay with them.

1302
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 3: Charlotte ended up having to stay in the hospital for

1303
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 3: almost a month. When she came back home, she accused

1304
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:33,480
Speaker 3: my Papa of having an affair with her sister because

1305
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 3: her sister had been hanging out in the house until

1306
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 3: after dinner before going back to her camper. However, this

1307
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 3: was what she did before Charlotte went to the hospital,

1308
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 3: so it wasn't unusual behavior, especially when they'd been in

1309
01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 3: laws for almost four decades and she hadn't even been

1310
01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:48,720
Speaker 3: on a single date with any other man since her

1311
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 3: husband passed and still hasn't to this day. Papa took

1312
01:00:52,520 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 3: the bait and they started arguing. She began screaming insults

1313
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 3: at him from the couch, and he went to get

1314
01:00:57,880 --> 01:00:59,960
Speaker 3: close to her face to tell her to knock it off.

1315
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:02,280
Speaker 3: When he went to prop himself up so he wouldn't

1316
01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 3: fall over, his knee hit her hip and she called

1317
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 3: the cops, saying he full force need her and she

1318
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,560
Speaker 3: needed help because she feared for her life.

1319
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:15,440
Speaker 2: Well, she sounds like a real gem, but like accident

1320
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 2: me right, Yeah, it seems.

1321
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 3: Like my aunt lives next door, so she was there

1322
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 3: before the cops arrived. Pop Up tried to explain what

1323
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 3: happened and that he hadn't even been in the same

1324
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 3: room as her since the whole thing happened, but they

1325
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 3: took him to jail anyway on DV charges. The next

1326
01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 3: day he was released, given a court date and of

1327
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 3: restraining order it was filed for both of them. Oh

1328
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,440
Speaker 3: my goodness. His brother lives on the same road, so

1329
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 3: he went to stay with them until he was allowed

1330
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:39,880
Speaker 3: to stay at the camper on the lake lot that

1331
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:42,800
Speaker 3: he and Charlotte had. However, Charlotte would call the cops

1332
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 3: and tell them pop Up was driving up and down

1333
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 3: the road stalking her when he was literally inside his

1334
01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 3: brother's house.

1335
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 2: Man. So this sounds like back of the day where

1336
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 2: you couldn't confirm all of this behavior. Yeah, and they're

1337
01:01:52,640 --> 01:01:54,760
Speaker 2: just like, Okay, forty three years worth of the crap.

1338
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 2: It's like, thank God for CCTV right in pocket phones.

1339
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 3: Then Charlotte decided she needed to go to the yard

1340
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,600
Speaker 3: to be seen for the bruise on her hip. By

1341
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:05,800
Speaker 3: the way, she was on blood thinners, which makes you

1342
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 3: bruise easily. My mom was the one to help her

1343
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 3: on her end of the divorce proceedings, and my aunt

1344
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 3: was the one to help Papa with his side of things.

1345
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 3: But nobody was taking signs. Everyone was still there for

1346
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 3: both of them, just at separate times and places. My

1347
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 3: mom sat there while Charlotte told literally every single person

1348
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 3: she spoke to that she was in the hospital because

1349
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 3: her husband beat her. He was going through so much

1350
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 3: because of that. Literally everybody she saw, she told them

1351
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:34,160
Speaker 3: that I'd never been physically violent towards her, But after

1352
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 3: all those years of manipulation and narcissism, I wouldn't blame

1353
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:39,520
Speaker 3: him if you thought about it, to be honest.

1354
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 2: Yikes.

1355
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,560
Speaker 3: However, everyone who has ever known him and been around

1356
01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 3: him knows he has never hurt her on purpose and

1357
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 3: never would. My mom even tried to sit down and

1358
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:50,160
Speaker 3: talk to Charlotte, trying to help her see that she

1359
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 3: wasn't being truthful about what happened. She begged her to

1360
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 3: just drop the charges against Papa. Charlotte looked her in

1361
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 3: the eye and said she wanted to teach Papa lesson.

1362
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, the lesson was you should have never married me,

1363
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:03,240
Speaker 2: That's the lesson.

1364
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 3: After that, she started picking fights with my mom even more.

1365
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 3: She stopped using oxygen and claimed that God had healed

1366
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:13,320
Speaker 3: her lungs and that was such a blessing. Everything was

1367
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:15,960
Speaker 3: such a blessing until you pissed her off. She started

1368
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 3: smoking again and stopped eating anything other than fruit because

1369
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 3: she wanted to lose weight. She was maybe one hundred

1370
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:25,080
Speaker 3: and fifty pounds, but wanted to be down to ninety

1371
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,000
Speaker 3: five pounds because that was what she weighed when she

1372
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 3: and Papa got married. The first divorce meeting they had

1373
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:33,080
Speaker 3: between themselves when their lawyers happened the day after. She

1374
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 3: had given me things for the little place my partner

1375
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 3: and I got. She had also written a check for

1376
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 3: my daughter's school tuition for the next school year. That

1377
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 3: same day, she was telling me and my mom that

1378
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,120
Speaker 3: she was setting things up for when Papa came home

1379
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 3: the next day. Aren't they getting divorced?

1380
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:47,960
Speaker 2: Pick a lane Grammy?

1381
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 3: Also, she had been calling and trying to see him constantly.

1382
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:54,080
Speaker 3: After she got back from a second hospital's stay. She

1383
01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:56,560
Speaker 3: had odeed on her pain meds, and they also found

1384
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 3: out she indulged in my papa's stash of spicy leaves.

1385
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:03,280
Speaker 3: Right as we were about to leave. My mom finally snapped.

1386
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 3: She called Charlotte out for drinking too much to Lulu lemonade.

1387
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:11,520
Speaker 2: Holy crap, So Grandma's getting freakin' absolutely obliterated.

1388
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:14,160
Speaker 3: It sounds like they started cussing at each other, and

1389
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:16,560
Speaker 3: Charlotte told her to get out and never come back.

1390
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 3: Remember when I said my mom was helping her with everything.

1391
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 3: That included helping her start new bank accounts and only

1392
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:24,720
Speaker 3: her name so she would have access to her funds

1393
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:27,080
Speaker 3: while Papa's would be separate in his own new account.

1394
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 3: The next day, after their big exchange of words, Charlotte

1395
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 3: was handed the harsh reality that Papa was not coming

1396
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 3: back and the divorce was standing firm. Yeah, the divorce

1397
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 3: that you initiated.

1398
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:42,280
Speaker 2: Now, this is really becoming substance behavior like this is

1399
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 2: someone who is fully checked out of reality right now.

1400
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 3: Clearly she snapped on everyone. She accused my mom of

1401
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 3: being a spy for Papa. She told my aunt she

1402
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,280
Speaker 3: wanted nothing to do with her and that she only

1403
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 3: had her in the first place for Papa, but she

1404
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 3: never wanted her.

1405
01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:59,360
Speaker 2: Auntie caught astray, she said, by the way, I hate

1406
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 2: your dad. I wish you didn't exist. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

1407
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 3: Then the day after that, she called the cops on

1408
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:07,160
Speaker 3: my mom, accusing her of stealing five hundred and two

1409
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 3: dollars from her from an account that wasn't even open yet.

1410
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:12,440
Speaker 3: He's like, there's no money on my account, and the

1411
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 3: bank's like, I remember, there isn't an account.

1412
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 2: She called the bank being like, where's my money? Like

1413
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:18,400
Speaker 2: the account's still being processed.

1414
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 3: A couple of days later, she called the cops of

1415
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 3: my aunt, saying she and my mom stole our pain meds. Yeah,

1416
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:25,440
Speaker 3: they did take them, but they took them because she

1417
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,000
Speaker 3: was ode. The er doctors had taken her off the

1418
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 3: patch she was using, and that's what they took to

1419
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:32,640
Speaker 3: keep her safe. They were old patches with higher doses

1420
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,760
Speaker 3: than she was supposed to be taking. It took every

1421
01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:36,960
Speaker 3: one of them straight to her doctor that same day

1422
01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:41,280
Speaker 3: and explain the situation. Luckily, no charges were filed. Then

1423
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:43,640
Speaker 3: we found out that Charlotte had to leave Papa's house

1424
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:46,320
Speaker 3: because it was his house. It was willed him by

1425
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:49,200
Speaker 3: his parents before they passed. When I tell you, this

1426
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 3: witch took everything. She left the fridge, the oven, a chair,

1427
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 3: maybe five dishes, and everything from my aunt's birth in infancy. Oh,

1428
01:05:56,840 --> 01:06:00,360
Speaker 3: she also took my mom's childhood books. That's also another

1429
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:02,640
Speaker 3: stray caught by the aunt. She left all of the

1430
01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:03,360
Speaker 3: aunt stuff.

1431
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 2: Ouch. It's like she's a cartoonish level of like bad,

1432
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:10,560
Speaker 2: Like I'm trying to think of like a cartoon, like

1433
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:14,440
Speaker 2: a pop culture reference. This gives off the vibes of

1434
01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 2: like the hotel workers from the Wonka movie, which I

1435
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:20,840
Speaker 2: hate that I just outed that I've seen the Wonka

1436
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:25,600
Speaker 2: movie with Timothy Alime. But She's just a cartoon villain.

1437
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:28,760
Speaker 3: Pop on one baby photo of himself and one photo

1438
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:30,320
Speaker 3: of his parents, and she took them both.

1439
01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:34,600
Speaker 2: Why because she's twisting her villainous mustache.

1440
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:37,840
Speaker 3: Right now, there was a hallway completely covered in picture

1441
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,960
Speaker 3: frames of everyone through various stages of their lives. My

1442
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:45,160
Speaker 3: children's pictures, they're toys, literally everything. I stopped answering her

1443
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:47,800
Speaker 3: calls and started avoiding her. She left me a voicemail

1444
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 3: holding my daughter's tuition and the household item she gave

1445
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:53,520
Speaker 3: me over my head, saying I should be more grateful,

1446
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 3: and then I needed to talk to her, guilt tripping

1447
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 3: the heck out of me. She traumatized her so called

1448
01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 3: favorite grandchild by going next door to where she and

1449
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 3: my aunt live. She banged on all the windows and

1450
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:06,080
Speaker 3: doors trying to be let in, screaming like a banshee.

1451
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 3: My cousin was literally curled up on the floor in

1452
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 3: the fetal position, sobbing. She was so scared, you want

1453
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:12,800
Speaker 3: to hurt everyone I hold dear to my heart and

1454
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:14,800
Speaker 3: then demand we just talked to you and grow up.

1455
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,880
Speaker 3: Absolutely not. Then my mom decided she wanted to look

1456
01:07:17,880 --> 01:07:19,680
Speaker 3: and see if she could find any of her paternal

1457
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 3: family members. She wanted to reach out to them and

1458
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 3: try to hear about what happened in South Georgia. Boy

1459
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:27,480
Speaker 3: did be fine answers. It turns out my mom had

1460
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:30,400
Speaker 3: an aunt on his side with about the same age

1461
01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:33,480
Speaker 3: gap as my mom and her sister. Charlotte had talked

1462
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:35,280
Speaker 3: to her about my Mom, but the aunt said she

1463
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,520
Speaker 3: loved that little girl like she was her own. My

1464
01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 3: mom found her first out of that side of her family.

1465
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:42,200
Speaker 3: She told my mom that Charlotte was mean as a

1466
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:44,160
Speaker 3: snake door and would pull her air or whenever she

1467
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,720
Speaker 3: did something Charlotte didn't like. That made me think back,

1468
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:48,720
Speaker 3: because she actually used to do that to me when

1469
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:50,919
Speaker 3: I was little, and I had just blocked it out.

1470
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 3: My mom's biological father remarried a few years later. He

1471
01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,439
Speaker 3: and his wife have been together ever since. Her aunt

1472
01:07:57,560 --> 01:07:59,880
Speaker 3: ended up sending my mom a link to his wife's

1473
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:03,640
Speaker 3: profile and she reached out to her. The reason Charlotte

1474
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 3: fled South Georgia the way she did wasn't to save

1475
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:10,000
Speaker 3: her and my mom. She had a DFCS case open

1476
01:08:10,040 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 3: against her because she had left my mom home alone

1477
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:14,600
Speaker 3: to go sneak around with the neighbor down the road.

1478
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 3: Someone heard her crying and called the cop.

1479
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:19,519
Speaker 2: I know the CS dance for child Services, but what

1480
01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:22,320
Speaker 2: is DF But oh my god, this woman neglected her

1481
01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:25,880
Speaker 2: kids to the point of being formally reported to an agency.

1482
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:27,759
Speaker 2: Color me shocked.

1483
01:08:28,160 --> 01:08:31,080
Speaker 3: Someone heard her crying and called the cops. Her biological

1484
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 3: father had to pick my mom up from the police station.

1485
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:35,800
Speaker 3: He went back to base, and the next time he

1486
01:08:35,840 --> 01:08:38,800
Speaker 3: came home, they were gone with just about everything else.

1487
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:41,280
Speaker 3: My mom told the stories about how she remembered when

1488
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:44,000
Speaker 3: Charlotte and Papa started dating, they take her with them

1489
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:46,400
Speaker 3: to get ice cream, then drop her off at Charlotte's

1490
01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 3: mom's before going on the real date. At least she

1491
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:51,799
Speaker 3: learned to find childcare. We got to meet my mom's

1492
01:08:51,800 --> 01:08:54,360
Speaker 3: paternal family at Thanksgiving last year, and it was the

1493
01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:58,360
Speaker 3: first family function on my mom's side where we didn't

1494
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:02,000
Speaker 3: feel stressed out or have our feelings SERTs. They're such

1495
01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:04,760
Speaker 3: kind and good people, and it broke my heart that

1496
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:07,320
Speaker 3: we missed out on so much because of Charlotte. He

1497
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:11,240
Speaker 3: missed forty three years of my mom's life. That is devastating.

1498
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is. There was a lot of comments being like,

1499
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 2: could this be like dementia, like something she needs to

1500
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:19,360
Speaker 2: get tested. It's like, Nope, She's been terrible for her

1501
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 2: whole life.

1502
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,000
Speaker 3: And there wasn't anything he could have done about it

1503
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,320
Speaker 3: because she made sure to bury his name in the mud.

1504
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:27,280
Speaker 3: He missed seeing his grandkids grow up. He missed every

1505
01:09:27,320 --> 01:09:29,559
Speaker 3: single big moment in my mom's life, and it hurt

1506
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:32,200
Speaker 3: him so deeply you could see it on his face.

1507
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:35,160
Speaker 3: For Christmas, we gave them a big picture collage of

1508
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,080
Speaker 3: different photos of all of us through the years.

1509
01:09:37,320 --> 01:09:38,160
Speaker 2: Cry Cry.

1510
01:09:38,479 --> 01:09:40,080
Speaker 3: My mom was able to get him a copy of

1511
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:42,120
Speaker 3: her wedding pictures and gave them one, and it was

1512
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:44,799
Speaker 3: like they just won the lottery. This is so sad.

1513
01:09:45,040 --> 01:09:47,360
Speaker 3: She talks to them every single day now and they've

1514
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:50,120
Speaker 3: built a great relationship. It's something that should have happened

1515
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:52,599
Speaker 3: a long time ago. But it makes my heart smile

1516
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:56,200
Speaker 3: knowing that her internal wounds are healing from the emotional

1517
01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:58,519
Speaker 3: scars left by her own mother. The only one of

1518
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:01,200
Speaker 3: us that's kept any contact with Charlotte is my aunt,

1519
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:03,479
Speaker 3: and that was only because Charlotte was back in the

1520
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:06,799
Speaker 3: hospital with severe internal bleeding. She was dropped to eighty

1521
01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:12,000
Speaker 3: three pounds was basically only consuming SIGs and diet pills

1522
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:15,280
Speaker 3: and ended up with a hole in her intestines. My

1523
01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:17,360
Speaker 3: aunt told her she wanted to go to therapy together

1524
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:20,880
Speaker 3: and work on repairing the relationship. Charlotte scoffed and said

1525
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:22,960
Speaker 3: she had nothing to heal or be sorry.

1526
01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:25,920
Speaker 2: For except for the intestine. Gotta heal that. Although a

1527
01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 2: hole in your intestine a great way to lose weight,

1528
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:30,639
Speaker 2: it's terrible. Do not put holes in your intestines, folks,

1529
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 2: do not do that. I was being facetious.

1530
01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:35,439
Speaker 3: My aunt gave up, left her phone number and told

1531
01:10:35,439 --> 01:10:38,400
Speaker 3: her to only call her in an emergency. Charlotte lived

1532
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 3: on her sister's couch for a while, yes the same

1533
01:10:40,479 --> 01:10:42,680
Speaker 3: one she accused my papa of having an affair with.

1534
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:45,920
Speaker 3: One day, she pooped everywhere, clogged the toilet, and then

1535
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,479
Speaker 3: demanded her sister go and get a plunger and fix it.

1536
01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:51,919
Speaker 3: Her sister laughed, said she had plans, and left. Charlotte

1537
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:53,680
Speaker 3: was gone by the time she got back. She had

1538
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:55,959
Speaker 3: walked down the street and started staying on a stranger's

1539
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:59,400
Speaker 3: house until she found an apartment after realizing the divorce

1540
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:00,479
Speaker 3: was actually happening.

1541
01:11:00,720 --> 01:11:04,120
Speaker 2: Just gonna completely skip over what we just read. Did

1542
01:11:04,120 --> 01:11:06,439
Speaker 2: she find a stranger that's what you're hung up on.

1543
01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:09,719
Speaker 2: She just went to a stranger's house and started living there. Yeah,

1544
01:11:09,760 --> 01:11:12,560
Speaker 2: she probably just walked down. She know someone in your neighborhood.

1545
01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:14,400
Speaker 2: It's the old lady who lives in your neighborhood. And

1546
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:16,160
Speaker 2: she's like, I need to sleep on the couch. Are

1547
01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 2: you just gonna be like, no, old lady, leave my house.

1548
01:11:19,240 --> 01:11:20,960
Speaker 3: I would be like, let's find you something else, Let's

1549
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,160
Speaker 3: call people. I'm not letting you live in my house.

1550
01:11:23,439 --> 01:11:25,200
Speaker 2: We all know what I'm caught up on right now.

1551
01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 2: How do you simultaneously poop everywhere and then also clog

1552
01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:31,599
Speaker 2: the toilet? How do you do both of those things

1553
01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:33,400
Speaker 2: at the same time. I don't know how I do that.

1554
01:11:33,800 --> 01:11:36,280
Speaker 3: Of course, before that, she spread a rumor that my

1555
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,840
Speaker 3: papa was seeing a widow in town because she saw

1556
01:11:38,840 --> 01:11:41,719
Speaker 3: his truck in her driveway. Except it wasn't his truck,

1557
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:44,559
Speaker 3: it was her daughter's. She mailed us each a letter,

1558
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:46,880
Speaker 3: but they were basically copy pasted, and we knew they

1559
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:49,840
Speaker 3: were insincere. She guilt tripped my papa into telling us

1560
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:52,400
Speaker 3: how sad and lonely she is and that we should

1561
01:11:52,439 --> 01:11:55,400
Speaker 3: go see her. I tried to be respectful as I declined.

1562
01:11:55,640 --> 01:11:57,479
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's everything I've seen her put

1563
01:11:57,560 --> 01:11:59,880
Speaker 3: us through or if I'm just a butt, but I'm

1564
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,519
Speaker 3: not gotta feel sorry for someone who literally made the

1565
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:05,080
Speaker 3: bed they're laying in. She even wrote in the letter

1566
01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:07,280
Speaker 3: she sent to my kids that she wanted them to

1567
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:09,839
Speaker 3: spend the night with her. That almost made me barf,

1568
01:12:09,960 --> 01:12:12,479
Speaker 3: because I absolutely will not have my babies around people

1569
01:12:12,520 --> 01:12:14,920
Speaker 3: who can't be trusted. I mean, I would not leave

1570
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:18,160
Speaker 3: a child with her. When she literally took your mom

1571
01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:21,880
Speaker 3: away from her father for like.

1572
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:24,000
Speaker 2: Years, She's gonna yank on those kids.

1573
01:12:24,080 --> 01:12:26,640
Speaker 3: They stopped asking about her, and we don't bring her

1574
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:29,080
Speaker 3: up unless we have to. And I want to bring

1575
01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:31,000
Speaker 3: up that. You guys can listen to full episodes with

1576
01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:34,120
Speaker 3: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1577
01:12:34,160 --> 01:12:36,640
Speaker 3: or iHeartRadio and search a book a story time. But

1578
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:38,679
Speaker 3: there is a little bit left to this story. Any

1579
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:39,840
Speaker 3: final thoughts.

1580
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,640
Speaker 2: You are justified. I think in feeling your grandmother is

1581
01:12:42,720 --> 01:12:45,800
Speaker 2: a rotten egg? You know, is it fully her fault?

1582
01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:48,720
Speaker 2: Who's to say right? Who's to say anything? Are we

1583
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:50,960
Speaker 2: the way that we are because we have chosen to

1584
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:54,040
Speaker 2: be this way? Or are we a collection of experiences

1585
01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:58,400
Speaker 2: and subconscious desires that are all tied up in like

1586
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:01,400
Speaker 2: a human body. I don't know. Sucks and there is.

1587
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:03,519
Speaker 3: A little bit left. It sucks, but we ended up

1588
01:13:03,560 --> 01:13:06,800
Speaker 3: finding better relationships with family that actually treat us like

1589
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:09,080
Speaker 3: family instead of ponds in a game. I mean, you

1590
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,120
Speaker 3: got all of your paternal grandfather's side, so you know

1591
01:13:12,200 --> 01:13:14,599
Speaker 3: that's not nothing. They just won our time and company,

1592
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:17,160
Speaker 3: and that's so much more valuable than anything she took

1593
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:19,040
Speaker 3: with her. I just hate that we've all had to

1594
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:21,720
Speaker 3: go through this experience together, but I'm very thankful that

1595
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:23,840
Speaker 3: we all stood together and we're all better off for it.

1596
01:13:24,040 --> 01:13:26,360
Speaker 3: Thank you for reading and going on this crazy train

1597
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:28,880
Speaker 3: wreck of a journey. And that is the end of

1598
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:29,479
Speaker 3: that story.

1599
01:13:29,600 --> 01:13:32,240
Speaker 2: And that's that sometimes you're just a rotten egg for

1600
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:35,760
Speaker 2: your whole life. And that's a real sad thing to

1601
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:37,080
Speaker 2: really think about, yeah, because you

1602
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:38,400
Speaker 3: Lose everyone around you.