Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer past Billy is a sexy here nicky. Hello,
Speaker 1: it's me, It's Nikki. I'm the problem with me. What's up? Everyone? Good? Um?
Speaker 1: I was what's the what's the word to say for
Speaker 1: good week? Like good afternoon, good day? There's no hard week?
Speaker 1: Goodmorrow too so, but that's good tomorrow. That's like good
Speaker 1: I don't know, good goodmorrow at night? What is that
Speaker 1: is that? Russian days? It's um, everything's cool everything school
Speaker 1: looks at the finale of Love's Buying Pressie, it was
Speaker 1: very anticho. You're probably one of people who talk to it. Um.
Speaker 1: There were a lot of antiquilantic things leading up to that.
Speaker 1: Actually it was pretty good. I did. I did appreciate
Speaker 1: the wreck, and it was not as bad of a
Speaker 1: recommendation as what did I say was the worst? Oh,
Speaker 1: the hatchet wielding hitchhiker. So it was like a great
Speaker 1: thing to watch? Did it? And I for some reason
Speaker 1: missed that entire storyline. I don't know if you knew
Speaker 1: about this guy. He got like a lot. He went
Speaker 1: viral in two thousand thirteen for fighting off a guy
Speaker 1: who had slammed his car into a man. This hatchway,
Speaker 1: it doesn't even matter. Whenever this guy made the news
Speaker 1: in two when a year I was very savvy and
Speaker 1: paying attention to things, and he went viral, and I
Speaker 1: don't know how I missed it, but he was everywhere.
Speaker 1: It feels like. I was like, do you ever have
Speaker 1: something happening where you haven't heard of it? And you
Speaker 1: go like, how did I miss that? All the time?
Speaker 1: Any murder, any murder? What do you mean any murder?
Speaker 1: If there's a murder, I didn't hear of it. That's
Speaker 1: weird because I got my finger on the pole, like,
Speaker 1: what is there a murder recently that you've been Like? WHOA,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I missed. I didn't know about Idaho
Speaker 1: untill you guys told me really well, you know, because
Speaker 1: that's you're like into old murders, Like did you I'm
Speaker 1: kind of stuck on some, but I should know. But
Speaker 1: you know that Delphi when I started. By the way,
Speaker 1: let me set the stage. Taylor McGraw is here. She's
Speaker 1: been on the show. She was all last week back
Speaker 1: by popular demand both from everyone here and um all
Speaker 1: the best. He's love you too. Also, I just want
Speaker 1: to say that Taylor is living in St. Louis now.
Speaker 1: That's why she is on the podcast so much more.
Speaker 1: The first time you heard her when she was on
Speaker 1: with Me and Andrew was you were living in New
Speaker 1: York's right, not too far from where Onya is right now, right,
Speaker 1: so weird and just randomly, I mean, like, you're my
Speaker 1: friend from high school? Is my friend from um college college? Whatever? No,
Speaker 1: it was probably yeah, I was probably twenty grade because
Speaker 1: it was ten years ago in unions, so ty grade
Speaker 1: was Anya and yeah, and then you moved back here
Speaker 1: and now you're living here and you also are working
Speaker 1: for me kind of, Um, she's my boss, she's my housekeeper.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm your boss, like I I fucking
Speaker 1: love you as my housekeepers, like you have keeping it.
Speaker 1: It's just the best thing too. And I know again
Speaker 1: this is like, uh, just privilege that I'm able to
Speaker 1: have this, because, as you know, so many people have
Speaker 1: kids and husbands and jobs, and they also have to
Speaker 1: fold their own clothes and for the way their stuff.
Speaker 1: But I don't have to. I walk in the door
Speaker 1: with a bunch of suitcases every week and Taylor empties
Speaker 1: them and then or put it all away. You guys
Speaker 1: don't understand my life has been for twenty years of
Speaker 1: getting home and never unpacking and living out of that
Speaker 1: suitcase until I have to pack again. So it's honestly
Speaker 1: recently since you've been doing this for me, I get.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: just so excited when everything is in its place. It
Speaker 1: makes your life, It just is. It shows me how
Speaker 1: much of my mental anguish comes from, like my environment.
Speaker 1: But then when things are clean, you go, well, I
Speaker 1: got something else that this isn't I used to put
Speaker 1: all my anxiety in this, And now what I organize.
Speaker 1: I check all the pens and make sure they still
Speaker 1: have ink. I mean, you do get, wow, what's the
Speaker 1: most like, what is the craziest thing you found that
Speaker 1: won't be completely humiliating to me but also humiliating you
Speaker 1: can do because I mean, I really don't have a
Speaker 1: secret pile of money, like the biggest pile I've ever seen,
Speaker 1: and Ken talked about that it was already this fat.
Speaker 1: It was like, explain when it was from? Um No,
Speaker 1: I can't because I don't remember where all that casheap
Speaker 1: when I got lost and it was, oh, you know
Speaker 1: what's from? When I am living in l A, which
Speaker 1: I was for October November. You get paid cash for
Speaker 1: these sets you do. And I am not used to
Speaker 1: working in l A and making like so much money
Speaker 1: every night, but celebrities get paid so much for stupid stuff.
Speaker 1: I do a fifteen minutes set a thing that, by
Speaker 1: the way, I used to pay to do, like so
Speaker 1: the idea and then once you make it, clubs would
Speaker 1: pay you seven dollars. I would have to sign a
Speaker 1: little piece of paper, I mean two fift at the
Speaker 1: improv I was working, I'd signed a piece of paper
Speaker 1: and get paid seven dollars and I'd be like, what
Speaker 1: is even the point of all this? And then you
Speaker 1: perform for hundreds of people. But it's just the way
Speaker 1: it was. And now I go and there's like people
Speaker 1: running the shows like outsourced and they pay comics well
Speaker 1: and so and you get paid in cash and it's
Speaker 1: so nice. So that's what that is all from. And
Speaker 1: nowhere takes cash. Yeah, so it just stops. So that
Speaker 1: actually said anything like just a beauty item, like anything
Speaker 1: that what do you do? Like last week I told
Speaker 1: you my vibrators. I was like, I'm so sorry because
Speaker 1: I bring those on the road. One at least, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I was like, you don't have to touch that,
Speaker 1: like I hope you know that anything that is like sex,
Speaker 1: you're not like I just like I pins it, you
Speaker 1: pins it with your fingers. What if I you know,
Speaker 1: I like smell nikes, I want you pick it up
Speaker 1: with your mouth. I smell your armpits of things to
Speaker 1: see if it's that sure doesn't smell. I don't stink.
Speaker 1: It's smell like you. If you smelled mine, you would
Speaker 1: bar But I just thought, what if I smelled your
Speaker 1: dillies to see if they were not used to should
Speaker 1: always see me? I feel like they always seem clean
Speaker 1: because well I used to have a cleaner and I
Speaker 1: would feel so good about myself when I would go
Speaker 1: and use them in limb like go Usually I just
Speaker 1: run them underwater, but that doesn't get everything off. Sometimes,
Speaker 1: like so I had the spray that this company sent me,
Speaker 1: and I would always feel like I am such wife,
Speaker 1: a good housewife, cleaning off my diltos bath. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: now it's just after you come you just kind of
Speaker 1: want to like I don't know, I'm just like pull
Speaker 1: it out or whatever. I've just pull it off and
Speaker 1: then just throw it on the bedspread. It gets kind
Speaker 1: of like, come on your on your comforter. That's probably
Speaker 1: how they got their names. That's the name of the store.
Speaker 1: Come on your comforter, Come on like a Frankfurter comfort. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then it bleaches it kind of I don't know
Speaker 1: what's in my sucking biches, but that's the truth matter. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you haven't come across anything too. It's just
Speaker 1: so nice to have someone who goes through all your
Speaker 1: wares under and other, um and not have any shame
Speaker 1: about it, which I never have. But also when someone's
Speaker 1: like doing stuff for you, you tend to like not
Speaker 1: want to be there because it just seems like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I'm talking, although I want you here because
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fund is that? Remember? You're like
Speaker 1: I was like what, I couldn't figure out what it was?
Speaker 1: And they were singing straws. People who go on my
Speaker 1: Instagram live know exactly what a singing straw is. It's
Speaker 1: like the thirty seven people who watched me sing on
Speaker 1: Instagram from this podcast account, Um, they are. Yeah. There
Speaker 1: are things that help you set your chords in the
Speaker 1: right way. You like straight saying through them, but someone
Speaker 1: had recently in the comments when I was singing one day,
Speaker 1: it was like, singing straws have been the m v
Speaker 1: P of two for Nicky, and I was like, you're
Speaker 1: so right, and I defend on that so much. But
Speaker 1: now I've got a new vocal teacher who hasn't mentioned
Speaker 1: singing straws even once. Um. Speaking of singing, we did
Speaker 1: lots of it this weekend. Um. I was on the
Speaker 1: road so many good shows, only two, but it felt like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just felt like a whole thing.
Speaker 1: I was on the road with Anya uh in the
Speaker 1: Band of the Natural Lines, who opened for me in
Speaker 1: New Haven, Connecticut, and in New York City, heard of
Speaker 1: it at hundred seats of baby. How did that feel?
Speaker 1: I mean like I tricked someone. There was a part
Speaker 1: of me that was like, people are just here because
Speaker 1: they like got free tickets, So I don't even know,
Speaker 1: you know, like you know, don't let it in, but
Speaker 1: also know it felt amazing. I was so appreciative and
Speaker 1: I hope everyone has a good time. And I'm like
Speaker 1: kind of burdened by thinking like at least there are
Speaker 1: at least like this is low three people who like
Speaker 1: hated me that got brought along like they were just
Speaker 1: like I didn't like this show and they're allowed to.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's three people leaving A Dell's shows that
Speaker 1: are just like, you know, like no matter where because
Speaker 1: someone gets brought along. None of my fans went there
Speaker 1: and went, oh that was awful. I didn't like lose
Speaker 1: anyone that night, but I didn't. There's some people that left,
Speaker 1: and that really irks me. But at the same time
Speaker 1: it doesn't. I just don't focus on it. I don't
Speaker 1: think about those three people, even though it sounds like
Speaker 1: I do. I'm just thinking of them right now, but
Speaker 1: I really don't. Um. But then I also it's I
Speaker 1: don't let in too much good and I don't let
Speaker 1: in too much bad, like the like who is the
Speaker 1: quote an is that you told me in an acting
Speaker 1: in an acting class that I took from him. You're
Speaker 1: never as good as you thought you were, and you're
Speaker 1: never as bad as you thought you were. Yeah. Harry
Speaker 1: Styles also said a thing similar to that of like
Speaker 1: the people who love you are wrong and the people
Speaker 1: who hate you are wrong. Everyone's wrong like no one's
Speaker 1: or they're not right. I guess was the point like
Speaker 1: the people who are like fanatical about you and think
Speaker 1: you're like the fucking best are probably cool. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: the people, but you know what, I think people are
Speaker 1: the best, and I I know they are. I am
Speaker 1: very confident in my taste. I cry sometimes when people
Speaker 1: aren't on howard with my taste? Do you ever get
Speaker 1: offended off by that? I don't love my Taylor Swift. No,
Speaker 1: that's like you gotta be the right place, right time.
Speaker 1: You're wrong, and I know that, but I'm not like
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? The thing is, if you
Speaker 1: thought she was crap and not talent, don't you would
Speaker 1: there's something wrong with your brain. She's you watch her live,
Speaker 1: you watch her performances. There's just no doubt she's She's phenomenal. Um.
Speaker 1: But in terms of like being obsessed with her, no,
Speaker 1: I'll let like, you don't know one. No one needs
Speaker 1: to do that. Millions of us do and so millions
Speaker 1: can't be wrong. So I don't want to tell you
Speaker 1: there but no to each his own for that. But
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't know. I just get um, uh, like
Speaker 1: this is good, and if you don't think it's good,
Speaker 1: I question my friendship. Sometimes that makes sense. If people
Speaker 1: don't like Peter Gabriel. Think about that. You got Gabriel?
Speaker 1: Which one does? What does he saying? Sledge hammer? Oh?
Speaker 1: I love that song. Yes, Red Rain is coming down.
Speaker 1: Wait till karaoke, baby? Really? Oh yeah, karaoke is coming up.
Speaker 1: We're gonna sing for Taylor's birthday and practicing. Are you
Speaker 1: gonna sing sang a lot this weekend? Maybe? What's your
Speaker 1: karaoke song on you? Singers don't like karaoke really, I
Speaker 1: hate it. I'm like, just let me control the volume
Speaker 1: and the mixing. This whole mix is bad. I agree
Speaker 1: with you. Be in a loud bar. I need my
Speaker 1: vocal to be super loud. I need the crowd to
Speaker 1: be church like, and I need the track to be quiet,
Speaker 1: and I need multiple takes. I feel the same way.
Speaker 1: That's why I like to go to the places where
Speaker 1: you can control that stuff, and if you can't, you
Speaker 1: just have it's a it's a practice and letting go.
Speaker 1: But I have the same thing issues with karaoke places.
Speaker 1: People sing too loud, the music is terrible, and everyone's
Speaker 1: talking and it's like and sometimes songs are too long.
Speaker 1: Someone will pick a song that's your song and it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: you warn off that you're a bad singer. No, you
Speaker 1: don't know, you shouldn't be. There should be like a
Speaker 1: little warning next to it. It's like, if you ain't good,
Speaker 1: you're gonna lose everyone, and they're gonna result. It will
Speaker 1: be my warning because there's going to need to be
Speaker 1: some No. I think we're gonna have so much fun,
Speaker 1: but um, I just suffer with that. When Anya and
Speaker 1: I this weekend, uh, well, every weekend, Anya and I
Speaker 1: usually sing the last song of hers together or she
Speaker 1: lets me sing most of it, and then um the
Speaker 1: man and then I. Then we've been adding on Anti
Speaker 1: Hero after it, just for fun because I've been practicing
Speaker 1: that song in my voice class and I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit more confident with it and everyone knows it. It's
Speaker 1: like a number one song right now and it's fun
Speaker 1: to sing along. But then this weekend we had the
Speaker 1: Natural Lines, which is Matt pond on his fiancee. My
Speaker 1: tour managers banned and they opened and it was so
Speaker 1: much fun, and they'd opened before, but we sang. They
Speaker 1: had me come out for Anti Hero at the end
Speaker 1: of then. It was so freaking fun. It was so good.
Speaker 1: It was and you nail and to just Yeah, to
Speaker 1: be on the road with that many people too is
Speaker 1: so fun too, because there's always someone to talk to
Speaker 1: if you need them to. If you need someone. Something
Speaker 1: I'm realizing I really need in my life is like
Speaker 1: if I need someone to talk to you, they're around.
Speaker 1: That's the good thing about marriage or like living with
Speaker 1: someone is that I know people are like, I need
Speaker 1: my space, but like when I you can get your space.
Speaker 1: When you live with someone, you just like take a
Speaker 1: go somewhere or something different. But when you live alone,
Speaker 1: you don't get to just suddenly conjure someone to talk
Speaker 1: to you. I mean you can on the phone, but
Speaker 1: in person it just feels different. Does anyone anyone? I
Speaker 1: get like lonely, um, and I just need not even
Speaker 1: like I want a conversation. I just want someone there
Speaker 1: to watch something with me. But I wanted to story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: come just put you peek over my shoulder. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I just want someone there. Um. And So
Speaker 1: I think that that's because I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's so many like good things about marriage and like
Speaker 1: forever with someone, and then there's so many parts that
Speaker 1: people are like that's hard. You know, it's a constant battle,
Speaker 1: and you go sign up for that and they're like,
Speaker 1: no matter what, there's gonna be huge problems. Well, people
Speaker 1: go like, it's you're gonna have huge You're gonna have
Speaker 1: moments where you want to call it quits. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do I don't want to sign
Speaker 1: up for something that brings me a lot of pain
Speaker 1: that I have to just swallow and be like and
Speaker 1: people saying but in a marriage, you can't run away.
Speaker 1: It's like, I love running away just co hab. Why
Speaker 1: do you have to get married. That's the thing that's
Speaker 1: weird to have is a lot because you're like, oh god,
Speaker 1: if I just I don't want to do this, he's
Speaker 1: got to like move his bed out and stuff, and
Speaker 1: I gotta well, yeah, I've made him set up in
Speaker 1: another bedroom. But a lot of successful married couples sleep
Speaker 1: in separate rooms. No, I've already said that, Like I'm
Speaker 1: um looking at houses coming up in l A just
Speaker 1: to see what's out there. And my specs have been
Speaker 1: two rooms or three rooms, one for like a studio,
Speaker 1: one for me, and one for my husband's to be
Speaker 1: partner husband's Evelyn hugo uh to sleep in when we're
Speaker 1: in a fight and there's no guest room, because I
Speaker 1: don't want to encourage guests like unless unless it's like
Speaker 1: you guys, and it's like one person. I don't want
Speaker 1: people thinking that there's a space for them there. Now,
Speaker 1: you can't be too accommodating. And if there is, I'll
Speaker 1: be like, yes, there is. But my boyfriend I are
Speaker 1: fighting right now, so he's he's sleeping in it every
Speaker 1: time I come to town. Well, things aren't going well.
Speaker 1: But you know what, that's what a relationship is. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of ups, a lot of lows. Man, Like,
Speaker 1: you get kicked when you're down, you get kicked when
Speaker 1: you're up. And I mean, honestly, it's the same way
Speaker 1: I feel about the kids thing, which update, I decided
Speaker 1: not to freeze the legs. But you guys all know,
Speaker 1: but I was no. I don't know if you knew it.
Speaker 1: I decided I put the kobash or what they say, eggs.
Speaker 1: It's on my eggs. Yeah. The fact that I pulled
Speaker 1: out Amy Klobaschar's name. And I also could not come
Speaker 1: up with Nancy Pelosi being the secretary or a speaker
Speaker 1: of house. I mean I know certain things. Um, so
Speaker 1: what happened? No more eggs freezing. I went to go
Speaker 1: get my prescription before my appointment the other morning, and
Speaker 1: it was the appointment to be like, here's how you
Speaker 1: do your medicine, and once you pick up the meds,
Speaker 1: you can't return the meds, which, by the way, I
Speaker 1: did ask. I go, it's there's seven thousand dollars about
Speaker 1: and I go, I know, for one round and they
Speaker 1: might need to add on. So I already knew these
Speaker 1: costs going in. It's not more. It's not more than
Speaker 1: they told me up front. But when you see it
Speaker 1: at Walgreen's, you don't pay seven thous for anything at Walgreens.
Speaker 1: So he's stressed me out. It's like, but it's a
Speaker 1: nice wall Greens. It's like it's it's not even at Walgreens.
Speaker 1: It's just like they don't have anything extra. It's just
Speaker 1: a pharmacy and you walking into just it's fertility stuff.
Speaker 1: Like everyone everyone that work walked in there looked a
Speaker 1: little bit. So, uh yeah, fertile is what I met.
Speaker 1: Not not desperate, so um, no offense, but I felt desperate.
Speaker 1: I walked in and I'm just like waiting for this
Speaker 1: woman to get her fucking eggs to go or her
Speaker 1: eggs supply. Yeah, she just like walks out with it,
Speaker 1: puts it in a cooler, and I can tell she's
Speaker 1: going to her desk job, and I'm like, this bitch
Speaker 1: is gonna have to go to the bathroom and eject
Speaker 1: herself and spend she probably doesn't work. Yeah, work, because
Speaker 1: that's what happened. Like you gotta like this is the
Speaker 1: whole thing. So I didn't learn what I have to
Speaker 1: do because I get to the front and I go,
Speaker 1: can I return these I'm about to go to appointment.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to bring them so she can show me
Speaker 1: how to work them. But can I bring them back
Speaker 1: if I decide I don't want to? And she was
Speaker 1: like no, She goes, they should have demos over there.
Speaker 1: Come back, she would like go, and I was like, god,
Speaker 1: I go pay for it. And I pulled out my
Speaker 1: card and she goes they have demos, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'll take this as a sign. So I leave and
Speaker 1: I got over there and Anya calls me on the
Speaker 1: way and I cried to Anya about like, here's the
Speaker 1: things I want about it, here's the things I don't
Speaker 1: and then I go in there and I, uh, we'll
Speaker 1: tell you what happened right after that. So I go
Speaker 1: in to the clinic for my appointment, where I like,
Speaker 1: we're starting things. This is it, no backing out, But
Speaker 1: I don't have my meds with me. The doctor clocks
Speaker 1: that I see her as I get taken to my room,
Speaker 1: I can see she clocks that I don't have any
Speaker 1: scare suitcase or a suitcake of meds to inject myself with.
Speaker 1: So I know she knows. And we've texted the day
Speaker 1: before because I was like, I'm having doubts. She's like,
Speaker 1: talk to me about them. I go, I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk to the phone. We'll talk about it. No, actually,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. You're right, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know what convinced me to do it
Speaker 1: that day, but I was like, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: So I'm back and forth with her and she knows.
Speaker 1: And then I go in there and they're like, they
Speaker 1: told me to undress, so I have no pants on,
Speaker 1: and I'm like in the stirrups with the sheet over
Speaker 1: my legs and I know I'm putting my pants back
Speaker 1: on without I'm not getting doing any of this. So
Speaker 1: the doctor comes in and she's like, what's going on,
Speaker 1: And I was like, I just feel like I'm not
Speaker 1: doing this for me. I don't relate to any of
Speaker 1: those ornaments on your tree up there. The ornaments are
Speaker 1: still there, being like, don't ever give up. You can
Speaker 1: do this, go for what you want. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't relate to a single ornament from one of those
Speaker 1: baby children that got conceived here. I did not want here.
Speaker 1: We're written by women who are going through the fertility process, right, No,
Speaker 1: they're written written by women who the bait. The kids
Speaker 1: have been conceived there. So when they come in for
Speaker 1: like maybe they're trying to conceive more and the kid
Speaker 1: that they did already have their they like write a
Speaker 1: thing and the mom looks like sweets written and they're
Speaker 1: all written by kids. But it's cute. It is cute
Speaker 1: if I listen, if I were a woman who was like,
Speaker 1: my fertilities in question, I want a baby so bad,
Speaker 1: like it would be uplifting to me to read those,
Speaker 1: But that's not where I'm at, Like I don't want
Speaker 1: this and I don't want to do this, and so
Speaker 1: much money. And so I got in there and she
Speaker 1: was like, I think we put UPO. I was like
Speaker 1: instantly like crying, and I was like, if we do
Speaker 1: get eggs, they're gonna be fucking stressed out because this
Speaker 1: is stressing me out so much. They're just gonna be
Speaker 1: like they're gonna look like those emojis that are like
Speaker 1: like just that's what the eggs will all look like
Speaker 1: under a microscope? Is that like stressed out emoji? And
Speaker 1: so she was like, let's put a pause, and she
Speaker 1: was very understanding, and I was like, I'm sorry, I've
Speaker 1: wasted your time and your money. I was like, but
Speaker 1: I've already put on down down payment so I know
Speaker 1: that you'll keep that. And then she was like, no,
Speaker 1: we won't you get that back. And I'm like, what
Speaker 1: are down payments if you don't have I was thinking
Speaker 1: of a down payment as you don't get that back?
Speaker 1: Dot it back? Why because they're just making sure you're
Speaker 1: kind of serious, but like what secures your place line? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: but I just don't really yeah, because you didn't they
Speaker 1: do work. They called me a lot. They well they
Speaker 1: didn't do that, but the actual work that they that's
Speaker 1: for the Yeah, but I don't know. There was a
Speaker 1: lot of clerical work done. I know that like work
Speaker 1: when they're still charging you for the appointment. I know,
Speaker 1: I go in there and take that money back if
Speaker 1: you didn't get it, I know. I just I'm too.
Speaker 1: I just feel guilty because I talked on the phone
Speaker 1: with so many of these women and cried to them
Speaker 1: and gone into for appointments, Like it just felt like
Speaker 1: I was giving up on this thing that they were
Speaker 1: like had dollar signs in their eyes about me, and
Speaker 1: even that they actually care about me there. I know
Speaker 1: they do because they let me go, and so that
Speaker 1: made me feel very taken care of. But I don't know,
Speaker 1: I do feel bad when someone sees like money coming
Speaker 1: in and they're excited. We all get excited about a
Speaker 1: big chunk of money and then it goes away, Like
Speaker 1: I kind of feel bad. Yeah, but they're not there.
Speaker 1: It's not like their business. They're just thinking if they're
Speaker 1: not going to more for the doctor, it's her practice.
Speaker 1: She but she's going to make it. Struggling comedian, like
Speaker 1: you're thinking about this, like young Nikki Glazer in the
Speaker 1: scene China earn her family Elon musk. She's a doctors
Speaker 1: aren't like she has bills to pie. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just I'm saying it's a very similar guilty feeling
Speaker 1: over canceling and Airbnb early and I had like AVI
Speaker 1: had to do it because I was like, but they're
Speaker 1: relying on our two dred and forty dollars, like we
Speaker 1: can't do this even though we had nothing to do
Speaker 1: in truth or consequences. Remember, um, but you know what,
Speaker 1: in the terms of the Airbnb, the owner of the
Speaker 1: of the house said you can cancel. So so I'm
Speaker 1: sure somewhere in the terms she was looked at me
Speaker 1: like I was crazy. When I was like keeping just
Speaker 1: keep it, I like fought her and she was like, no,
Speaker 1: it's not policy to me exactly therefore, so I do
Speaker 1: understand that. So I was just she made me feel
Speaker 1: better about it, and I did convince myself like I've
Speaker 1: paid for the appointment, and you know, this is just
Speaker 1: this is the price of doing business for them. It's
Speaker 1: like they're gonna lose something like you gotta have a
Speaker 1: wide net. Um. But yeah, as soon as I decided
Speaker 1: not to though, oh my god, I just felt so
Speaker 1: free and so good of like I honestly felt like
Speaker 1: I got my tubes tied, like it was that final
Speaker 1: of like, you know what, I could have fucking a
Speaker 1: million babies. I'm a fertile, fucking bitch. If I wanted one,
Speaker 1: I could get comed up in right now and spit
Speaker 1: out like I know it, Like I feel like it
Speaker 1: was me more like wanting just to be fertile. And
Speaker 1: I just know if I wanted, if I want one,
Speaker 1: I'll make it happen. And if I can't have one
Speaker 1: with my body, I will adopt and I will be
Speaker 1: happy to do it. I'll always find a way. So
Speaker 1: this whole thing of like I need to make sure
Speaker 1: that there's a way. It's just fertility is just the
Speaker 1: first thing you get stolen from you, the ability to
Speaker 1: have your own baby with your d n A as
Speaker 1: a human being. Men will not understand this, but it
Speaker 1: is the first thing as you it older that there's
Speaker 1: no baxxieson. You can't go back on it. And it's
Speaker 1: this thing that is like the reason you're a species,
Speaker 1: the reason your species exists, the reason you're there is
Speaker 1: because of this thing that is now going to be
Speaker 1: that that opportunity is going to be stolen from you.
Speaker 1: It's like, and men don't understand that men can do
Speaker 1: it forever. So it's there's there's other things that will
Speaker 1: summon when you get older. I cannot someone infertile, yes, impotent,
Speaker 1: So I and I would empathize with those men if
Speaker 1: they told me about their infertility, because it is a
Speaker 1: hard thing to lose, even if you don't want it.
Speaker 1: It's a hard thing to not be able to do
Speaker 1: a thing that you were put on this earth to do.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's the it's almost like do you
Speaker 1: as a kid, do you remember like not being able
Speaker 1: to Maybe I've said this on the podcast before because
Speaker 1: I thought of this before, but uh, you lose ability
Speaker 1: like order off the kids menu. That's like the first
Speaker 1: thing you lose as a kid or kids rise. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you lose that, you go I can never do
Speaker 1: that again. Teacups you can go on because its adults
Speaker 1: could go on with kids. But I mean, can you
Speaker 1: think of anything else you lose? You lose um kid's
Speaker 1: menu because people just kind of got kids. You can't
Speaker 1: be wild and like knocked stuff over. I remember when
Speaker 1: I was like a team. They're like you have to stop,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh please, maybe wild anymore. There
Speaker 1: are certain places where you can maybe even let that out.
Speaker 1: I'm talking like, never, bitch, um, you kept your parents
Speaker 1: pay for you. I remember when losing my parents insurance
Speaker 1: when I was like twenty six, they were like, so
Speaker 1: you gotta get your own medical insurance now. I was like,
Speaker 1: what what do you mean? What about the phone plan? Also?
Speaker 1: I was on their phone plan for a while. I
Speaker 1: felt like I'm still in my sister and brother's phone plan.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to pay that ship. And as
Speaker 1: as soon as I got enough money, I hired someone
Speaker 1: to become my daddy again and like take care of all,
Speaker 1: like my insurance. I don't do any of that stuff.
Speaker 1: It scares me because you up so much to do.
Speaker 1: But no, I would. I don't know what I would.
Speaker 1: I would be delinquent on everything if I was if
Speaker 1: I didn't have money, I would be really bad about
Speaker 1: maybe not maybe I would have gone to debtors anonymous
Speaker 1: or something. But I even now, I have bills that
Speaker 1: I'm forgot to send to my person that takes care
Speaker 1: of it, and I know that they're just I have.
Speaker 1: I'm scared there's going to be like a warrant out
Speaker 1: for my arrest for like not paying for an m
Speaker 1: R I or something. I think that's how it really like,
Speaker 1: But don't you serve jail time if you just dodge
Speaker 1: bills for the rest of your money? People so much
Speaker 1: money collections, But what a collection is going to do?
Speaker 1: They'll find people. You'll have to be like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: well then it's on you, collection. And that's a good idea, yeah,
Speaker 1: because there are you. There is a way to get
Speaker 1: that money. You're sending the bills to the wrong address.
Speaker 1: Send them to twenty cross Ways park. Um. But I,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I just felt so much better after making
Speaker 1: that decision that I bought a couch that I'm really
Speaker 1: excreted about. And I just feel like I have so
Speaker 1: much money right now because I'm not going to have kids.
Speaker 1: I literally feel like I just want millions of dollars
Speaker 1: I do I did that stressed? You got all that
Speaker 1: money and you're also not stressed? Yes, And I leave
Speaker 1: myself the option to do it someday. But I am
Speaker 1: so not stressed. And I don't have to gain a
Speaker 1: bunch of weight by sticking these things in myself, like
Speaker 1: I might regret it. Someday, but I don't really think
Speaker 1: I'm going to because I got as far as you
Speaker 1: could go to do it. It's not like I just
Speaker 1: was like, whoops, he forgot to do it. Oh I regret,
Speaker 1: not like I went to the edge and I did
Speaker 1: not jump. I'm so proud of you because we were listening.
Speaker 1: I was listening to your messages on the girl's chat
Speaker 1: about it was so sad. If anyone if this was
Speaker 1: a friend of mine going through something not related to
Speaker 1: egg freezing, and I just listened to these like the
Speaker 1: amount of stress and dress and fear and anxact it
Speaker 1: in your voice, I would be like, we need to
Speaker 1: send somebody to get this girl out. She sounds like
Speaker 1: a prisoner, like doing something against her own while I
Speaker 1: was so proud of you that you risked other people's
Speaker 1: disappointment and whatever other people think of you to listen
Speaker 1: to that inner voice in you that was like I
Speaker 1: don't want to do this, Yeah, I mean it all.
Speaker 1: You kind of nailed it for me, as like it
Speaker 1: just I'm so obsessed with being like wanting to like
Speaker 1: what other people like, and I just feel like I
Speaker 1: know there are so many people out there like me
Speaker 1: that don't want kids, but I'm I don't hear enough
Speaker 1: of that still, Like it just still gets It's it's
Speaker 1: inevitable at thirty eight that those messaging, that messaging not
Speaker 1: only biologically starts like kind of screaming at you to
Speaker 1: do it, but then you just start kind of paying
Speaker 1: attention to all of it outside of you, and it's
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I need to do this thing. It's
Speaker 1: just so Yeah, it was a lot of admitting that
Speaker 1: I don't It's okay, I don't want what other girls want. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's so hard. I try to surround myself with like,
Speaker 1: you know, the algorithm knows what we want now too,
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to like unfollow things I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't want all this garbage in my face constantly about
Speaker 1: like plastic surgery, about looking all I have. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's like it will drive you crazy. I've been just
Speaker 1: watching Courtney Love videos and listening to her. I mean,
Speaker 1: she's but I have a good example someone that are
Speaker 1: a little bit off the beaten path, you know. I want.
Speaker 1: I want to unfollow everyone on Instagram. This is what
Speaker 1: I want. I'll still have an Instagram still post. I
Speaker 1: literally want to follow unfollow everyone except Lizzo, Camille Caustic. Literally, um,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of anything the dodo Um just
Speaker 1: any and but there's certain body positive accounts that I
Speaker 1: don't want, so I know that you're like also because
Speaker 1: there's a lot like Saggy Sarah and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: Like I like her, but I don't want to lean
Speaker 1: into focusing on my body too much of being like
Speaker 1: I just don't Lizzo in Um Camocoustic are just like
Speaker 1: they always make me feel good about having whatever, but
Speaker 1: my body is I mean, Neocoustics a fucking supermodel. So
Speaker 1: it's like both the ends of the spectrum. So I've
Speaker 1: been focusing on that more like, but I don't think
Speaker 1: it's crazy. I really want to wipe my Instagram and
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it like I'm cool or
Speaker 1: something like I don't care what's going on with anyone else,
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to be a celebrity that acts like
Speaker 1: I don't follow people. Secretly, I literally don't want to
Speaker 1: follow anyone anymore. I don't want to know what's going
Speaker 1: on out there. But I mean, I guess I could
Speaker 1: just still catch up with life on because I don't
Speaker 1: really scroll anyway, but I do. I do the Explore page.
Speaker 1: That's that's sucking. TikTok. They get me. I don't know
Speaker 1: what Chelsea Handler has been saying about being single and childless.
Speaker 1: I need more of that to let me know it's okay.
Speaker 1: Then I chose, and there are so many women and
Speaker 1: I don't need to read the comments on Chelsea stuff
Speaker 1: that are like she's the that like. Then I just
Speaker 1: start going like, well, if you talk like this or
Speaker 1: you live like this, who's gonna hate you? And then
Speaker 1: I read the comments and I go, yeah, it is
Speaker 1: bad to be this. Comments suck man, even for me.
Speaker 1: I've just started. I noticed the other day I almost
Speaker 1: went to comments before I watched the video itself, just
Speaker 1: to be like, is it what are people saying about this?
Speaker 1: Why don't And that's normal. You read movie reviews before
Speaker 1: you go to the movie. But comments are not Siskel
Speaker 1: and Ebert just whoever said the funniest quippiest thing? First
Speaker 1: you know is that what they do, like comments are
Speaker 1: just the algorithm sent shoots up the top comments and
Speaker 1: it's either something funny because they're being made fun of,
Speaker 1: so you just if it permeates how you then view
Speaker 1: the thing like more than the most viable. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1: I even try to avoid what Matt thinks of a
Speaker 1: movie because I can tell subconsciously sometimes I adopt his
Speaker 1: point of view. And I hate couples that are like
Speaker 1: we loved such and such movie, like did you both
Speaker 1: that the same opinion? Like our one brain. I just
Speaker 1: saw this person I used to like really like I
Speaker 1: saw like like this, you can just see like what
Speaker 1: movies they watch kind of thing, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like there's someone that like I don't talk, like I've
Speaker 1: block on everything, but I can just see what movies
Speaker 1: they're watched because they're in some like website where you
Speaker 1: just move for cinephiles, okay, and you can just and
Speaker 1: it just always shows what movies they're watching, and they
Speaker 1: like write reviews and stuff, and I like, because I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's just the only and I don't ever
Speaker 1: go to it that much, but like maybe once every
Speaker 1: six months, and I saw that this person like like
Speaker 1: like gave licorice pizza four stars, like five stars, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh god, I in that moment, I
Speaker 1: don't even like this person or want to be with them,
Speaker 1: but I was like, I can't believe I ever did
Speaker 1: like this person like that. I disagree on that movie.
Speaker 1: So again it comes back to taste. That movie to
Speaker 1: me was so kid and like trying to be sweet.
Speaker 1: There were parts of it like I love I Love
Speaker 1: all the Time sisters, especially the one that played the
Speaker 1: lead character. I loved the acting in it, but the
Speaker 1: movie itself was not good. Sorry, not good. If you
Speaker 1: liked it, you're kind of cat you like. Even the
Speaker 1: other day, I watched Punch Drunk Love, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna be so great. I remember
Speaker 1: seeing it the first time. I didn't like it. I
Speaker 1: watched it again. It's so so art kip, Like there's
Speaker 1: this one shot where like p t A. Paul Thomas
Speaker 1: Anderson like zooms over like and like Widen's it and
Speaker 1: it's like a zoom over for no reason except to
Speaker 1: be like art, Like this is a different kind of movie.
Speaker 1: And I just turned it and watching it, and I
Speaker 1: was like, you know p t. A. When he was
Speaker 1: going like now pull it out, pull the shot out,
Speaker 1: I knew he was just like fucking feverishly jerking and
Speaker 1: like splashing everyone around him with Steven because he's so
Speaker 1: excited that his shot was going to look like so
Speaker 1: different and artistic, and listen, I'm only making fun of
Speaker 1: what I am because I also get really proud of
Speaker 1: my self when I do something where I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: an avant garde artist. So I okay, I'm cringing at
Speaker 1: the thing that I know. The feeling where you think
Speaker 1: you're cool, never ever said I secretly. Listen. I went
Speaker 1: on stage at Stanford and Sons in Kansas with a
Speaker 1: cigarette for three minutes. For a three minutes, said I
Speaker 1: bring a cigarette. It's no it was killed. I wanted
Speaker 1: to look a bad ass and like where like I
Speaker 1: just wanted to look like smart and like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what's that one writer's Bukowski esque, Like I don't
Speaker 1: know what I was going for. It was so we've
Speaker 1: all been kild, but I'm not twenties or four. I
Speaker 1: thought pink hair for a while. I'm dying to do
Speaker 1: something different. Lately, I've been pink hair, like a nose ring.
Speaker 1: Like I said, the other day, I cut my nose
Speaker 1: and it looked like there's a little dot there, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I like it, And I noticed I don't
Speaker 1: have any good friends because it looks like I have
Speaker 1: chocolate on my face and no one said anything or
Speaker 1: I just have oh yeah, just a little chocolate. Um
Speaker 1: do you what? Do you guys ever want to do
Speaker 1: anything drastic? Has there been any drastic? I almost cut
Speaker 1: bangs the other night after but I was so tired.
Speaker 1: It was after a long weekend. I came out when
Speaker 1: you're tired, I look at Matt and I've had a
Speaker 1: very I had a super emotional weekend. I didn't sleep
Speaker 1: at all. Friday night. I was NICKI I was staying
Speaker 1: with her. We like we're sleeping in the same bed,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot,
Speaker 1: I'm cold. I was like dressed out, miserable, didn't sleep
Speaker 1: at all, barely like. Then drove the next day and
Speaker 1: then we had this crazy show day and then I
Speaker 1: come home. I'm exhausted. I laid down next to men
Speaker 1: and I just looked at my goal. I'm gonna cut bangs.
Speaker 1: He's just closed last night. Um one, not tonight, and
Speaker 1: to not in this mood he goes not in this
Speaker 1: mental state. Yes, but today I trimmed them and I
Speaker 1: think I did a great job. So that's why Sienna,
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, that's a bang and then the hoop
Speaker 1: start cutting my hair. You cut your hair too, tailor right?
Speaker 1: Do you just like is it something you learned to
Speaker 1: get good at over time? Like you funked it up
Speaker 1: enough and you've probably it has. I've done banks and
Speaker 1: it's horrible cause I'm like, I really think I can
Speaker 1: start cutting my own hair. I just need here's how
Speaker 1: you do it. N if you're gonna you can't do
Speaker 1: here's there And they're like they're like scissors like that
Speaker 1: you cut cardboard boxes. You gotta get good hair cutting scissors.
Speaker 1: But you just take the section you have. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're in my bathroom. You can get them at CBS
Speaker 1: there like nine dollars. So you take in front of
Speaker 1: your hair. She has like about an inch of hair.
Speaker 1: You make sure not like I have right now. You
Speaker 1: make sure you only have the bang parts like from
Speaker 1: before that we're cut. So I was just trimming them
Speaker 1: and because my guy forgot then you go like this,
Speaker 1: you chop off like however much you want, and then
Speaker 1: you do this number where you like put them vertically
Speaker 1: and you have to do that, and it's it's it
Speaker 1: works yeah, okay, all right. Well I try to make
Speaker 1: summer rolls last night, and I was also trying to
Speaker 1: julian the vegetables and cut them vertically with like cucumber
Speaker 1: and carrot, and they start just getting chopped. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, You're trying to make and the um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to do something drastic, not to my hair,
Speaker 1: because it's always a regret. I think my hair. I've
Speaker 1: realized keeping it long equals fertility. I think you're thinking
Speaker 1: about fertility, and I'm like, oh, that's why I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: with long hair. What I think you should like full
Speaker 1: on bleach no way, bleached it before it's too much work.
Speaker 1: I bleached it um in two thousand fifteen, and it
Speaker 1: does not suit my skin tone. Bad idea. Glad I
Speaker 1: already know it because I would be on board. Your
Speaker 1: eyebrows gone No, if anything, I've been dark. Eyebrows are
Speaker 1: too so lately, and that's been a fun thing. I think, Nikki,
Speaker 1: like on the weekends, I've been loving your stage outfits,
Speaker 1: and that to me feels like a big change. It's
Speaker 1: like almost like yes, like an alternate personality, but just
Speaker 1: like an onstage person This weekend, I went all out.
Speaker 1: I didn't know like the dress I ordered. I ordered
Speaker 1: like four from Revolve and I was going to return
Speaker 1: the rest, and that one, the one I chose, was
Speaker 1: the one I secretly wanted. But it was kind of
Speaker 1: like too much. But it was too much, but I
Speaker 1: fucking loved it. Yeah, I like dressing up big time.
Speaker 1: It was a little lingerie. I would have preferred it
Speaker 1: to have straps and it to have a skirt on
Speaker 1: the bottom. That wasn't lingerie because it was already so lingerie.
Speaker 1: Was like, the skirt doesn't need to be laced to
Speaker 1: look like a victorious secret model, like an angel. It
Speaker 1: felt like angels. Yes, that's what it was. It was
Speaker 1: totally an angel's outfit, which I love and I mean
Speaker 1: not not going for that look. But the top did
Speaker 1: not fit. It was like I have like kind of
Speaker 1: a longer stomach torso, so it was a little short,
Speaker 1: and so I when I was performing, I had to
Speaker 1: wear a braw on top of it. I wore a
Speaker 1: Walmart brau on top of this four hunderdollar dress. The
Speaker 1: dog could tell well and so I can tell in
Speaker 1: pictures and pictures. I was like, oh my god, my
Speaker 1: stylists are going to see this and be like, is
Speaker 1: that got her? I mean like I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it totally was just a backup emergency Brad to wear
Speaker 1: under a black T shirt like this is not this
Speaker 1: is a T shirt bra. This isn't like this should
Speaker 1: be poking out to be sexy bra. It was like
Speaker 1: it was only the only one I had and I
Speaker 1: had no other choice. And my mom is very like
Speaker 1: conservative when she's like, what are you gonna do? You
Speaker 1: cannot wear that with the nipples coming out, and I
Speaker 1: go with my nipples that will be funny, Like who can't?
Speaker 1: She goes, Nikki, just wear it? I say, where the bra?
Speaker 1: Just wear it like that? So she was hilarious this weekend.
Speaker 1: By the way, Yeah, I'll tell you after all, I
Speaker 1: won't forget Crow. I was getting to that, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like a support during this theory
Speaker 1: that you're the least kip person around except with your
Speaker 1: iPhone thing, which I also agree with about iPhones versus Andrew.
Speaker 1: I can't help that. I'm not not trying to hate
Speaker 1: people with green bubble iPhones. I's just my subconscious. Don't
Speaker 1: my subconscious thinks you're poor? You, well, I well, I
Speaker 1: don't judge you for it because I know, like there's
Speaker 1: and and it's not my fault that poor equals. But
Speaker 1: that's like what society has taught me. I know it's wrong.
Speaker 1: I don't actually actively want to lean into it just happens.
Speaker 1: It's just it's it's there's no control in my brain
Speaker 1: when I see a green bubble and go poor, don't
Speaker 1: like them get about my life conscious. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's yeah, I mean honestly, yeah, I fight against it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, don't follow me on that. But anyway, so
Speaker 1: go on, why am I not after party? Well? To
Speaker 1: to the cute stories about you, if I may. I'm
Speaker 1: just so proud of you, like cried ugly cried after
Speaker 1: the show, because you've got a standing ovation and it
Speaker 1: was like to be on the road with you for
Speaker 1: two years and to see that. I'm just kidding, You're
Speaker 1: just You're just like Matt. If I tell him, like,
Speaker 1: your hair looks great today, it's like, so every other
Speaker 1: day you hate my hair. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't expect stating inovations. I think they're actually like,
Speaker 1: I think they the reason I got one, and I
Speaker 1: let me just say it is because I did great.
Speaker 1: There's there's always but I could get one every time
Speaker 1: because I've told the listeners this before. You do a
Speaker 1: thing called coy ing, which is I came up with
Speaker 1: from watching Joe coy do it you at the end
Speaker 1: of your set. You have to have a good set.
Speaker 1: You can't have a bad set. You gotta end strong.
Speaker 1: You don't even have a good set, you gotta end strong.
Speaker 1: And then when you say good night, you stay out
Speaker 1: there and you wave, and you wait there at the
Speaker 1: microphone like you're saying goodbye, and you wait, and eventually
Speaker 1: someone will be like, I like that so much, I
Speaker 1: want to stand up, and then everyone will fall suit
Speaker 1: and you'll get a standing ovation. It's the trick. You
Speaker 1: can do it. The reason I got one the other night,
Speaker 1: it's because my dad and I were out there and
Speaker 1: we stayed and also we ended on a song. It's
Speaker 1: much to get standing ovation from music than it is
Speaker 1: like and it was my balls the whole time. You know,
Speaker 1: like it's just easier on a big fucking high note
Speaker 1: that everyone knows you're closing with the song. Everyone loves
Speaker 1: to be like thank you Cleveland, then to like end
Speaker 1: with a quip about molestation, and then you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, think so these are an interesting point, that
Speaker 1: might be a good point, but but that's why I've
Speaker 1: never I don't get that. I don't think it's bad
Speaker 1: that I haven't gotten. But I did get one the
Speaker 1: other night yet. But like, regardless of that, it still
Speaker 1: was standing ovation worthy. It was an amazing song. You
Speaker 1: nailed it. You guys are great, so you can't use
Speaker 1: your shitty excuses for like, well it was amazing, but yeah,
Speaker 1: no it was. I'm not taking all the fact I
Speaker 1: am amazing and I did and it was. But there
Speaker 1: are their psychological tricks to standing ovations, and I don't
Speaker 1: think that people should take credit for them literally ever.
Speaker 1: Unless you literally say good night and everyone stands up
Speaker 1: right away, that's a true one. But if it takes time,
Speaker 1: you know, but you still do good when you got
Speaker 1: you kind of you played with you know, give them
Speaker 1: two seconds. If there's an older crowd, they need to go.
Speaker 1: So you're anyway, you're like on the side stage, you
Speaker 1: finally come off, and you're like you sit down and
Speaker 1: you're taking off your super high heel boots and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm ugly crying. I can't even help it. I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 1: like in volunteary, like, oh my god. She's like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, are you crying? I go, yeah, you got
Speaker 1: a standing ovation. She's like did I think they just
Speaker 1: wanted to stand up and go. I think they're leaving. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well that is true too. You can always like people.
Speaker 1: They were going to get up and collect their things eventually.
Speaker 1: And the other still playing the other non kid thing
Speaker 1: was like, we had this fun after party. Your people
Speaker 1: had gotten you this great cake and we all ate
Speaker 1: cake in the in the backstage, and it was just like,
Speaker 1: it's so funny how wholesome you are, Like for being
Speaker 1: such a comic that's known for dirty stuff, you really
Speaker 1: just love your family hanging out with ends and that's it.
Speaker 1: Like you don't drink, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: you'll you'll just you just want to have a good
Speaker 1: homeye time. And then we all went to the hotel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we like all crammed like nine people into this
Speaker 1: little room with two beds, and it was so cute,
Speaker 1: like e J was talking to all the band boys
Speaker 1: about guitar stuff on one bed, and then all the
Speaker 1: girls were on the other bed me, Nicki, Hillary and Julie.
Speaker 1: Yeah over there. It was so fun. And then that's
Speaker 1: where my mom revealed that she wants a crow. You guys,
Speaker 1: I'm just so I knew I was annoyed right away
Speaker 1: when she not annoyed, but let me just I was
Speaker 1: a little bit like, you want to crow? Because we've
Speaker 1: had I had birds kids. We had a pair of keet,
Speaker 1: we had a Django, we had another Kiwi, and then
Speaker 1: we had Django. Django flew the coop. Kiwi died um
Speaker 1: and my mom was not thrilled about either of those birds,
Speaker 1: and it was like a fight to get them. She
Speaker 1: was happy when not happy, but she was just kind
Speaker 1: of like, we're not getting another bir when they died.
Speaker 1: And then suddenly she wants a crow and I go,
Speaker 1: she goes, I want to crow, and she's very serious
Speaker 1: and adamant about it, and I'm like why and she
Speaker 1: was like, they are the smartest birds. They're intelligent. Shiitnick, No,
Speaker 1: they are smart. And she's kind of laughing when she
Speaker 1: says it, but I go, really, that's why. And I go,
Speaker 1: what do you want to do with this crow? Like
Speaker 1: what do you need it to do? Like sol solve
Speaker 1: like little I don't know problems, like you know when
Speaker 1: when you see crows intelligence, they're always like putting like
Speaker 1: you know, you know those like like wood carved things
Speaker 1: where it's like shapes and then they have to find
Speaker 1: the right shape to put the wood on, Like is
Speaker 1: that what you want to do with? Like what do
Speaker 1: you need a smart crow around for? And then this
Speaker 1: is what I got to essentially, so she kept saying,
Speaker 1: because they're smart, nick, you and I go, parrots are smart, mom?
Speaker 1: What is a parrot not able to give you? That?
Speaker 1: A crow cut? And I go, who's gonna train? Those
Speaker 1: are trained crows that you're watching on these YouTube videos.
Speaker 1: Usually crows like don't like you. They're not domesticated, they
Speaker 1: haven't had a long lineage of dem stication. They're not
Speaker 1: meant to be around people. And you she actively wanted one,
Speaker 1: come to find out. And I like the way they look,
Speaker 1: and I go, you want to crow? Because there you
Speaker 1: she likes. She goes, I have crossed all over my
Speaker 1: house and I go, I know you do. That's why
Speaker 1: you want to crow because of its looks. And you know,
Speaker 1: nothing lights my fire up more than like I like
Speaker 1: this animal because it looks this way, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to prefer it then this one who looks like all
Speaker 1: that way. You like THEO James, Yeah, but I don't
Speaker 1: want it. If I in my life had a place
Speaker 1: for to love a man, okay, I wouldn't go THEO
Speaker 1: James or nothing. Let's say THEO James is my crow.
Speaker 1: If my mom is this analogy, I would go. Okay,
Speaker 1: even though that the thing I want isn't gonna look like,
Speaker 1: I will settle for something else that will give me
Speaker 1: just as much, because THEO James is not really a
Speaker 1: good match for me, because it's gonna peck at some
Speaker 1: because I'm not domesticated. So I might give if I actually,
Speaker 1: if I think my mom has enough love in her
Speaker 1: life to give an animal and like wants to get
Speaker 1: a pet, but it has to be crow, then that
Speaker 1: bog that bugs me because just give that love to
Speaker 1: something else just because of its look, she wouldn't love
Speaker 1: like obviously you have a piece of your heart you
Speaker 1: get to like you could you have the time that
Speaker 1: you can commit to an animal, give it to something
Speaker 1: that maybe doesn't look like a crow. But if you want, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel the same way about adoption,
Speaker 1: Like if you can't have your own kid, then go
Speaker 1: then adopt. Clearly you have love in your heart for
Speaker 1: a kid, just because it's not going to look the
Speaker 1: way you wanted to, maybe try this other thing, because
Speaker 1: you clearly have something to give the world. Why not.
Speaker 1: So that's what made me mad is that my mom,
Speaker 1: like it's always hated birds, but now she wants a
Speaker 1: crow because the way it looks. And that's what bugs
Speaker 1: me about people who get designer dogs and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: Like I did not like the way Marian looked, or
Speaker 1: when I got sent pictures of them the first time
Speaker 1: when I had a dog in my mind of what
Speaker 1: dog I wanted, it did not look like either of
Speaker 1: those dogs didn't look to tell you, I don't even
Speaker 1: remember at the time, it looked. It looked uglier than Mary,
Speaker 1: like it was dark. There was like one I'll show you.
Speaker 1: It's just that I I fell in love this, this
Speaker 1: one dog that ended up losing. So I kind of
Speaker 1: had my like locked around this like a little Chihuahua
Speaker 1: that looked exactly like littler than Luigi, little thinner, a
Speaker 1: little bit more needy, not as like scriggly, like I
Speaker 1: didn't want a white dog. I don't want to want
Speaker 1: anything that we resembled a terrier like. I had an
Speaker 1: aesthetic in mind, like everyone does. But then I signed
Speaker 1: up to be a foster so that I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: to commit to a dog I didn't want. And guess what,
Speaker 1: I those dogs are so much better looking than any
Speaker 1: other fucking dog I could ever imagine for myself. I
Speaker 1: literally think everyone else's dog is gross and mine are perfect.
Speaker 1: And they're not perfect, they're just mine and I love them,
Speaker 1: and if they were someone else's, I'd be like, they're
Speaker 1: not as good as mine. So it's just I. You
Speaker 1: can love anything if if you have enough love in
Speaker 1: your heart to consider getting something, let the looks thing
Speaker 1: go unless you have to fuck it. If you have
Speaker 1: to fuck your dog, the fucking your dog and being
Speaker 1: sexually attracted to it is like a part of having one,
Speaker 1: then yes, maybe that you should get one that you
Speaker 1: need to be attracted to, much like in a relationship
Speaker 1: like I don't want. I'm not telling people just get
Speaker 1: involved with someone who you are disgusted by just because
Speaker 1: you need a partner. But actually, maybe I don't know.
Speaker 1: Does this make sense? Your mom I'll take a rate.
Speaker 1: She goes, I want to crow. I want to crow
Speaker 1: or a raven. I don't know the difference. She doesn't
Speaker 1: know the difference. I go, you need to do some
Speaker 1: more research before you got to crow. There, let's lean
Speaker 1: intoor a stupidity. Um, no that no one knows this.
Speaker 1: By the way, come up with a group of people
Speaker 1: before talking about this. And if we don't know what,
Speaker 1: we're not stupid? What do you mean? What do you know?
Speaker 1: I think they're different. I've looked it up before. Ravens
Speaker 1: are bigger and more gothic, go like screech screw shadow,
Speaker 1: no shadows. They're like they're smaller, right, Oh, I thought
Speaker 1: they were bigger. Forget it, No, I just made that up.
Speaker 1: I literally even hang out on like gargoyles and crows
Speaker 1: are just cornfield exactly what they do before. Gargoyles though,
Speaker 1: like ravens around before the crows like peck the eyes
Speaker 1: of um scarecrows and raven saying on gargoyles. But if
Speaker 1: you just so okay out of context, if it was
Speaker 1: just a picture of one on a blank sheet of
Speaker 1: paper with no gargoyle or no scarecrows, you'd see they're
Speaker 1: looking its eye. You have a blood red eye. Much
Speaker 1: on the Ravens. Yeah, it's gopic because if you will, oh,
Speaker 1: if you're a goth, would you rather be named Raven
Speaker 1: or crow? Raven because it's actually I would crow because
Speaker 1: the crow is like the quintessential movie crow. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we died on the crow, much like Raven is so
Speaker 1: much more cat though, like Ravens are in a higher
Speaker 1: just some one to say Raven. Sorry, actually that's so raven.
Speaker 1: Raven's a cool name. No, the bird, I'm saying the bird.
Speaker 1: They're bird. Yeahs are crows are blue collars, are like
Speaker 1: blue collar because they have to wear the little collar
Speaker 1: because they're like someone's pion pet. They are cool. My
Speaker 1: mom is not wrong. Okay, we gotta go to break
Speaker 1: and we're not only going to discuss ravens and crows
Speaker 1: and really not come to any kind of conclusion about
Speaker 1: what they are. Oh my god, hold up a picture
Speaker 1: of Luigi looking so handsome, so much like video James.
Speaker 1: Noah has been watching the Luigi and Marian I can't
Speaker 1: get into details why, but she watched them over the
Speaker 1: weekend when my parents were in New York and pictures
Speaker 1: of yeah, of them in these pictures. I can't get
Speaker 1: over Noah, he's so good a rapper here, or like
Speaker 1: Timothy Shallow he's he's skating on a skate. Have Luigi
Speaker 1: pictures on our instagram so you can really get all
Speaker 1: juice stuff. Yeah, we should do a calendar. He is
Speaker 1: he has no idea. That's the thing I love about
Speaker 1: so hot, he's humble. I feel like oil on. We
Speaker 1: got to go to break. Okay, we'll talk lots about
Speaker 1: when we get back. All right, we're back, and um
Speaker 1: it's it's the Nicki Glazer Podcast. And let's play a
Speaker 1: game that we haven't played a little a little bit
Speaker 1: on here called Top one Bottom one. Today's category is
Speaker 1: ranks anything besides coffee. And can I make another addendum
Speaker 1: to this addended up? So I feel like all of
Speaker 1: us love Seltzer. How about no Seltzer allowed. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm into this. No Seltzer. It can have a Seltzer
Speaker 1: base if it's like a mocktail, but not just a
Speaker 1: clear Seltzer like brand. We can't no water lose, no locroise.
Speaker 1: No Zevia is unfortunately, um where can I do Zevia yes,
Speaker 1: of course, no you can't. Well it's a sema is it?
Speaker 1: A Seltzer has Seltzer in it? Like everything soda has
Speaker 1: selts in it. We just kiss plain Seltzer, plain Seltzer.
Speaker 1: Got it? Okay, it wasn't gonna talks anyway. I've been worrying. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's start with um the worst top bottom? Do you
Speaker 1: have your worst drink? Taylor? Uh? CoA cola disgusting? Wait? Pepsi, pepsi?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, cola cola? Just cola? R C. Wait? What
Speaker 1: about Dr Pepper? That's not coola is it? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Do you hate? No? Okay, so then it's not cola soda? Soda?
Speaker 1: Is that too broad? Cola? Like the flavor? Cola is disgusting?
Speaker 1: Why I don't. I haven't had it since I was
Speaker 1: a kid. One time, I remember I kissed a boy
Speaker 1: and he tasted like cola and it was dis so
Speaker 1: like dumped. But you think if like Dr Pepper, do
Speaker 1: you think you'd like it? Or do you count that
Speaker 1: as no? I loved it when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: What about now? What about diet diet pepper? Diet cola?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't drink diet Okay, this is an interesting one.
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I want to think about it
Speaker 1: because I don't know what about it? What about you know?
Speaker 1: What about um? Orange soda? Like any I don't drink
Speaker 1: any soda? This sucks. I'm bad at this. No, they're
Speaker 1: not bad at it. But why don't you drink any soda?
Speaker 1: I don't It's too much sugar. I don't like sugar.
Speaker 1: You don't like you don't like sweet stuff. I think
Speaker 1: I know that about you, but I forgot it. No,
Speaker 1: I relearned it all right. Um your worst one is cola.
Speaker 1: It's the grossest thing I can think of. Um My
Speaker 1: would have to be eggnog because it's both of the
Speaker 1: milk and which are the two of the grossest things
Speaker 1: I can think of. Is just and it just or
Speaker 1: a plain glass of milk, anything like that. But to
Speaker 1: really make it it would be like drinking. I hate
Speaker 1: deviled eggs. That's my number one. We're food favorite food?
Speaker 1: Where did from? Um? Eggnog? For me? Is gonna talk
Speaker 1: like it? Just? I think I would really have a
Speaker 1: gag reflect on that, and I don't have that usually
Speaker 1: for even blow jobs. It's kind of like the aftermath
Speaker 1: of a blowjob, really creamy, creamy. I think it is good.
Speaker 1: I just have never had it because it sounds it
Speaker 1: looks like plain milk, a little tint to it, and
Speaker 1: it looked and has a word egg and it's very sweet.
Speaker 1: Oh it is you can make it. I made it
Speaker 1: for Christmas? What it does it taste like any Does
Speaker 1: it taste like cake batter or something like it? Or
Speaker 1: does it taste eggs? Like it's like a melted froyo?
Speaker 1: It doesn't, but it doesn't taste eggy? What? Really? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's raw eggs. So I don't know. Why
Speaker 1: would I don't tell me that to get into it
Speaker 1: because everyone always like no. But before I was vegan,
Speaker 1: everyone's like eggnog. It's like but it has the word
Speaker 1: egg in it. Why would anyone want to drink something
Speaker 1: with egg? So it doesn't taste like eggs? Have you
Speaker 1: tried egg? I'm seriously blown away. I missed out on
Speaker 1: eggnog and it tastes like cake batter. It's really freaking
Speaker 1: it's sweet. I thought it was just like I thought,
Speaker 1: literally it was like drinking egg yolks and like you know,
Speaker 1: like Sylvester Stallone, like drinking like eggs with a little
Speaker 1: milk in it. Why would you keep telling children about
Speaker 1: egg Why wouldn't you say it's called eggnog, but it
Speaker 1: tastes nothing like eggs because eggs are grossed to drink,
Speaker 1: because they would just have a sip and no dream
Speaker 1: and egg cream. It doesn't even have eggs in it.
Speaker 1: What isn't an egg cream just like a soda drink
Speaker 1: with some You've never had an egg cream like your
Speaker 1: grandpa probably drank egg creams. And egg cream is a
Speaker 1: cold beverage consisting of milk, carbonated water, and flavored syrup.
Speaker 1: No eggs, no egg Okay, well this is eggs. Need
Speaker 1: to understand that if you put your name in something else,
Speaker 1: but you're not going to drink it and you're they're
Speaker 1: not going to know that there's nothing there's no egg
Speaker 1: in it. Wait till you try vegan eggnog. When because
Speaker 1: I was thinking I would love a vegan eggnog, but
Speaker 1: I don't want it to taste like egg I don't
Speaker 1: want to be reminded of egg flavor in a beverage.
Speaker 1: It's really good, it's just like it's like nutmeg. Now
Speaker 1: my mouth is watering because I'm thinking of drinking like
Speaker 1: liquefied cake battery, and I'm like, I'm gonna make it
Speaker 1: for you. It's still winter, it's allowed. Your socks are
Speaker 1: doing that. You don't r together. That's Eggno, okay, no,
Speaker 1: I like I have a cramp, it's n It's okay. No.
Speaker 1: What is your least favorite? My least favorite beverage has
Speaker 1: to be cama meal tema meal. T Why because when
Speaker 1: you were kids, after we would have stomach aches and
Speaker 1: throw up, our parents would force us to drink camemeal.
Speaker 1: So now every time I taste it or smell it,
Speaker 1: I get that like soreness in the back of my throat,
Speaker 1: you know, from like the bile. It just and it's
Speaker 1: just instant. I don't I don't even know what tastes like.
Speaker 1: I mean, that makes total sense that that, Yeah, if
Speaker 1: we're not going alcoholic drinks, because like yeager for me
Speaker 1: even saying the word, I start to yak up because
Speaker 1: I've had Yeah, okay, so we all have that, so
Speaker 1: we're not including those on this. Yeah, that's a really
Speaker 1: good one because it's just such a you know, response
Speaker 1: to like trauma that you know, you know you were
Speaker 1: going through and can you camalty to me? Reminds me
Speaker 1: taste like, um, this restaurant, what does it taste like?
Speaker 1: It tastes like I want to feel like cool right now,
Speaker 1: and everyone else at the table's ordering tea, so I
Speaker 1: will too, And the only one they have that isn't
Speaker 1: caffeinated is camemeal. That's what That's what came meal tastes like,
Speaker 1: is that I've had a cozy restaurant with my friends,
Speaker 1: trying to see like someone who just like likes tea,
Speaker 1: even though I want to chug eighteen night cokes. And
Speaker 1: it tastes like disappointment, flower disappointment, And it tastes like
Speaker 1: I'm starving and I want to eat in this fucking
Speaker 1: stupid restaurant takes too long and everyone's like, what are
Speaker 1: you going to have? And no one can decide on
Speaker 1: what they want, and everyone is waiting to order what
Speaker 1: you want before they get to their order. It tastes
Speaker 1: like waiting for people to decide what they want to
Speaker 1: eat and then also picking at their appetizer and we're
Speaker 1: not gonna get the entrees until the appetizer. And I
Speaker 1: actually ordered a bunch of appetizers for my entree so
Speaker 1: my appetizers are sitting in front of me, and I'm
Speaker 1: waiting for everyone else to get their entrees because I
Speaker 1: don't like to eat before people, because then when you eat,
Speaker 1: I just end up getting jealous because I'm still hungry
Speaker 1: because I never there's never enough food. And that's what
Speaker 1: cam a meal tea tastes like to me. Just order
Speaker 1: you know what you want. You've been to a time
Speaker 1: restaurant before. Okay, this doesn't work for time because the
Speaker 1: Comedy Cellar, Yes, just know what you want faster and
Speaker 1: also eat like faster. Everyone please, that did um least
Speaker 1: favorite drink? There were so many that I had, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to settle on comput. It's a Russian drink,
Speaker 1: which is just like Taylor knows you did combot. I
Speaker 1: think it's compote in English, but it's comput and it's
Speaker 1: just they take fruit, old fruit, just cut it up.
Speaker 1: This is how my mom does it. Just old fruit
Speaker 1: that's rotting in your house, cut it up as like
Speaker 1: it's turning pears, apples, plums, and then put it in
Speaker 1: a big thing and pour water over it. That's it,
Speaker 1: and just put it in the fridge so it's not
Speaker 1: even sweeten. It's just like jelly. So it's like it's
Speaker 1: a drink. It's a drink with your food in the bottom.
Speaker 1: I mean it comes from really tough times when things
Speaker 1: weren't going well and we had rotted fruit and that's
Speaker 1: all you could afford. I mean it sounds like a
Speaker 1: drink based on yeah, tough times. Um, you know, poor drink, Maria.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like the green text bubbles of drinks.
Speaker 1: I was always like, you know, she'd pour it from
Speaker 1: me and be like, but why is there no sugar
Speaker 1: in here? No, honey, it just tastes like it's almost
Speaker 1: it's either almost rotten and horrible or so far from
Speaker 1: being good. There are so many drinks and rest of
Speaker 1: the drifts, does it taste like a rottt spin drift
Speaker 1: is like not enough fruit in it? Yes, you're drinking
Speaker 1: one right now, listen. I like them, but they're always
Speaker 1: leave me like it's not enough. It's like it's just
Speaker 1: a soda, being like you don't get to drink actual fruit. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know that you don't deserve five grams of sugar.
Speaker 1: You get a half of one per can and you
Speaker 1: should be happy with that. Fatty like spin drifts are
Speaker 1: always just like you're you don't you're not enough. Um, okay,
Speaker 1: come put, come come posts. Okay, too close to compost,
Speaker 1: which is which is pretty much yea like a compost.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what kombucha is In Russia, they take
Speaker 1: bread and water and then they just let it ferment,
Speaker 1: which is basically or mushrooms, and let that ferment grows
Speaker 1: on it. K v A s class. I'm going to
Speaker 1: make vast and it's just not This is all Russian
Speaker 1: word I learned that means like disgusting, right, yes, exactly. Um,
Speaker 1: all right, let's get to the top, because my stomach
Speaker 1: is turning to turn. Speaking of things turning, the fruit turns,
Speaker 1: my stomach turns talking about gross drinks. Now, let's get
Speaker 1: to the great beverages. What's your favorite beverage? Yes? Um,
Speaker 1: I like a Bally yogurt soda mint flavor, a Bali
Speaker 1: yogurt soda mint my bottom. It's really it's saltzer and
Speaker 1: yogurt kind of like it's bubbly yogurt with mint flavor.
Speaker 1: It's so good. Wait where did you yesterday? Where do
Speaker 1: you find it? I got it into Global Foods. But
Speaker 1: it's like um, it's Middle Eastern. How did you originally
Speaker 1: discover it? At the Living in San Francisco? Just like
Speaker 1: at a corner store? Really you took a chance on that?
Speaker 1: About like fifty things of pickles yesterday, I don't know
Speaker 1: what the hell they were Russian, I've been on a pickle.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you're just in the not pickled beverage. Though
Speaker 1: my mom would be pick just pickles right now, you would,
Speaker 1: she'd be so into this, Yeah, that was on my list.
Speaker 1: And third, so you like to try different things like
Speaker 1: rather than just stick to what you know, You'll you'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh, this is an interesting new beverage. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love BEVs as long as doesn't have sugar. So
Speaker 1: this doesn't have any sugar in it. Maybe it's a
Speaker 1: little bit in the yogurt, but yeah too, Okay, I'll well,
Speaker 1: there's not vegan ones. There might be maybe okay, Um,
Speaker 1: I've never heard of that. Good to know. My favorite
Speaker 1: it recently and this is just for recently, has been
Speaker 1: Nacho Mama's Medium Salsa. A pint of it I've been
Speaker 1: drinking my my my mouth is watering right now here.
Speaker 1: Parents when we were kids and I would drink that
Speaker 1: brown one. It's the medium whatever one it is. I
Speaker 1: actually got the mild one. It wasn't as good. But
Speaker 1: I want to go see my kids sisters kids gymnastics class,
Speaker 1: and it's right by Nacho Mamas, which is my favorite
Speaker 1: Mexican place in St. Louis. And the salsa is not chunky,
Speaker 1: it's like so fine, and it's like you really can't
Speaker 1: sip on this cup like I sip in the cup
Speaker 1: at the gymnastics class. It's like it's gaspacho. It's so
Speaker 1: good my throat. I'm I'm so wet right now. I
Speaker 1: can't even take it. It's so much right now. I
Speaker 1: want to go later. Actually, I think I might have
Speaker 1: to go drive back and pick up my trays from
Speaker 1: my Arthurdonis that I forgot there this morning, so I
Speaker 1: might go back and get some. But I go, they go,
Speaker 1: do you want chips with that? And I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't need chips. I'm drinking. I drank two pints
Speaker 1: of it the other day. I didn't like it's salty.
Speaker 1: What did it do intestinal track? Nothing? It was great.
Speaker 1: It was a festa up in there. I loved it.
Speaker 1: I feel like last time I did that. And sometimes
Speaker 1: when I drink too much salt, my eyes get all puffy,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, sure they did. I probably looked crazy
Speaker 1: for You're right, I probably it was probably so much salt.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what they put in it. Oh
Speaker 1: it's not like fresh blended. Oh it's fresh, but who
Speaker 1: knows what they They probably had sugar to I mean
Speaker 1: it is so good. All right. What's your favorite beverage? Uh? Noah? Okay,
Speaker 1: So this is like a new thing that I discovered. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't like milk in my drinks, and I have
Speaker 1: not had any success with boba tea. However, there's a
Speaker 1: place here in town called DNK Tea. It's a Taiwanese
Speaker 1: teahouse and they have this like kum quat lemonade, and
Speaker 1: they have these like popping bobo balls that are like
Speaker 1: passion fruit flavor, and the combination of the two is
Speaker 1: just like heaven. Oh my god, I want to try
Speaker 1: to sit what so, what is the base of the
Speaker 1: milk or whatever? So the base I could choose something
Speaker 1: that's not tea, which is they have like all these
Speaker 1: different options of like lemonade, and this one is cum
Speaker 1: quat lemonade. Kum quat lemonade plus the passion fruit boba. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like these. Yeah, it's kind of like gushers because
Speaker 1: the boba balls like when they pop, you get this
Speaker 1: like little when I used to have when I was
Speaker 1: in Thailand, we got some boba, but it was the
Speaker 1: I like the milky version. That's um okay, there's no
Speaker 1: milk in it those. So it's like cleared lemonade, and
Speaker 1: they customize it. You can choose like how sweet you
Speaker 1: want and how much ice? Oh how often did you
Speaker 1: get one every day? No? That that would not be good?
Speaker 1: Is it like so much sugar? You think? Oh, it's
Speaker 1: actually because I get like zero percent sugar in it,
Speaker 1: like in the drink. Why is it? Wouldn't it be
Speaker 1: good to get it every day because I have to
Speaker 1: like like drive out there. Oh yeah, see, this would
Speaker 1: be really plastic. I would drive, I walk five, I
Speaker 1: would literally do anything for anything. I love that much.
Speaker 1: I would get it every day. Especially it was like
Speaker 1: not that bad for me. Um, No, that's good that
Speaker 1: you have we get on the weekends. I love. I
Speaker 1: was Nikki, Like my thought was like why would you
Speaker 1: get it day? Why wouldn't you move closer to that location.
Speaker 1: Would I disguise it so you could go there twice
Speaker 1: and whip get to accounts so that you can pre
Speaker 1: order it with different names. You get a burner phone,
Speaker 1: so why would you find out if they're on uber
Speaker 1: eats and post made at the same time. Why don't
Speaker 1: you person there restraining order? Can you men getting frustraining
Speaker 1: room for fucking boba? Like I almost I went to
Speaker 1: a massage place today that for the second time in
Speaker 1: a week, and I requested the girl that I love Linda.
Speaker 1: She wasn't as good today, but like I was, as
Speaker 1: I was getting when, I was like, can I come
Speaker 1: back tonight? Like Linda will still be here because I
Speaker 1: know she's playing an indenture of time. Yeah, but I'd
Speaker 1: rather her work on me someone else who might be
Speaker 1: like mean to her. And I tip really well, so
Speaker 1: I might as well go back. But I also don't
Speaker 1: want them to like get it. I think I'm like
Speaker 1: crazy morning. It's just my is so horny for just
Speaker 1: like getting Dug getting some some action. Final thought, I
Speaker 1: don't want to hear my favorite? What is your favorite? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That mine is so boring, but I like it. We're
Speaker 1: allowed to have food in ours like yours is a food.
Speaker 1: Noah's is a food as long as you're guzzling and
Speaker 1: gulping it, and like you could if you can shoot food.
Speaker 1: It's that's what I like. It's like a little bit dangerous,
Speaker 1: like I'm living on the edge. And I did end
Speaker 1: choking on one over the weekend to try. I never
Speaker 1: had a bote in my life. Okay, I've been really
Speaker 1: because it's winter. I've been into these hot um lemon
Speaker 1: ginger teas and I chop up fresh ginger and then
Speaker 1: I put honey in it and a half of stevia
Speaker 1: and piping hot and it's so delicious. I also love
Speaker 1: a mocktail. It's tied with if I go out um
Speaker 1: to a bar, I like a ginger, very gingery mock
Speaker 1: tail with a lot of citrus. And they're not too
Speaker 1: sweet but kind of so good. The one you had
Speaker 1: in New York at that place we went to the
Speaker 1: last night on the Yes, that was delicious. I love
Speaker 1: when they give you a little If any mixologists are listening,
Speaker 1: when you give us those little ginger candies on a toothpick,
Speaker 1: that is everything to me. I will come back time
Speaker 1: and time again. I will come three times in one night.
Speaker 1: I should just buy some ginger candies. I do. I
Speaker 1: have them. Sometimes it's just not the same because I
Speaker 1: served them. Yeah, yeah, it's so fine in a bar
Speaker 1: to have like a little candy to chew on. I
Speaker 1: I got them. Just give a little courtesy shout out
Speaker 1: to diet Coke because it was going to top my thing.
Speaker 1: I used to hate diet coke so much. They used
Speaker 1: to because my mom would drink them in the nineties, eighties, nineties,
Speaker 1: and I would sometimes drink from it and I'd be like,
Speaker 1: it gives me a headache, Like my body definitely tasted
Speaker 1: like there's something toxic in this. And I hated it.
Speaker 1: And then you know, you get to be a woman
Speaker 1: of an age, and then you get marketed to that
Speaker 1: you're fat, and then you start going, well, diet cokes
Speaker 1: the only thing I can drink. I would be bad
Speaker 1: to do anything else. So then you start drinking it
Speaker 1: and you kind of go, oh, I like it, and
Speaker 1: then you get addicted to it because it's so fucking addictive. Um,
Speaker 1: and then I quit diet coke from two thousand. I
Speaker 1: remember the last time I had it was that stand
Speaker 1: up New York on seventy eighth and Broadway, going to
Speaker 1: say the seventh of September, and it was probably two
Speaker 1: thousand on and I were living together two thousand ten
Speaker 1: or something. So I went like ten years without having
Speaker 1: diet coke, maybe more or any diet soda. And then
Speaker 1: Andrew and I got back into it in I think
Speaker 1: like one. I think we're on f boy one and
Speaker 1: it started just like one a day. Like, I fucking
Speaker 1: love diet coke. It is a treat that I enjoy.
Speaker 1: I have no shame about it anymore. I know it
Speaker 1: is bad for me. I do not have like like
Speaker 1: I think the former President of the United States, Donald
Speaker 1: Trump had like twelve a day or something that's excessive. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh he he just loves Why are you shocked? I
Speaker 1: know it love diet coke. Yeah, and adderall allegedly, but like,
Speaker 1: let's come on, like obviously, um and uh, but I
Speaker 1: love diet coke. I love, but I don't want it
Speaker 1: in a can. I wanted it a bottle, plastic bottle.
Speaker 1: Sorry environment, Sorry world, We're already it's nothing to do. Um.
Speaker 1: And I just love it so much. And I for
Speaker 1: all my diet cokeheads out there, like you've done nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: It feels you feel like you should be drinking. I
Speaker 1: have a paper bag. Sometimes you're anything, huh, paired with
Speaker 1: anything food? Um, I would say, like low level depression.
Speaker 1: It's best with It's like when you're just starting to
Speaker 1: hover on, like I think I might be eating really
Speaker 1: sad get a diet coke. The caffeine will jolt you
Speaker 1: out of it, but it's like a treat in your mouth. Um.
Speaker 1: Paired with anything, No, Honestly, I just I like one
Speaker 1: on its own. It's so attached to like I don't
Speaker 1: want to eat right now for me that like, I
Speaker 1: don't like it. I don't need to eat anything with it,
Speaker 1: even though I would because I don't not eat when
Speaker 1: I'm hungry, but like it just it's something that I
Speaker 1: want when I'm like I'm not hungry, but I'm also like,
Speaker 1: I don't want a coffee. It's just the best. I
Speaker 1: just love it, and I hope that I never reach
Speaker 1: a place where I need to give it up again.
Speaker 1: Iphonder what wonder what happened last time? I think I
Speaker 1: was just drinking too many of them, and I probably
Speaker 1: read some study that they ate you or something which
Speaker 1: they totally do. Yeah, they're bad for you, but I
Speaker 1: did hit a rock bottom. Oh my neck is cracking.
Speaker 1: Oh there's one really good like muscle that if I
Speaker 1: turn a certain way, it like really pinches. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love cracking lack and I don't like cracking. But
Speaker 1: when people crack crack no, no, no, uh kind of satisfying.
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Are you so? Do you like? Do
Speaker 1: you get? Um? Don't do it? But the worst crackage
Speaker 1: ever was what people in school would pull their faces. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I like no stop that right stop. It could never
Speaker 1: go back on, it could stay I could never go back,
Speaker 1: it could stay out. You'll never come back. I can
Speaker 1: only do it on three on each chance. Um. Alright, guys,
Speaker 1: we're gonna finish up the show. Any final thoughts, UM
Speaker 1: to say. I'm going to l A this week. I'm
Speaker 1: doing I don't know, I'm getting some injections in my
Speaker 1: face why because I'm doing a partnership coming up that
Speaker 1: I'm going to get some little I need a little
Speaker 1: something anyway, just a little bit and then um, and
Speaker 1: then I'm filming a pilot and um, and then I'm
Speaker 1: in Florida this weekend, Tampa and Orlando, two shows each.
Speaker 1: I believe tickets still available. Come on out. I'm going
Speaker 1: to be so excited to be in Florida because it's
Speaker 1: cold as fuck. We should bring our bathing you guys,
Speaker 1: I would love to put on a bathing suit. I'm
Speaker 1: fucking feeling. I gained weight recently and I like it.
Speaker 1: I want it. I like feeling. Um. I like feeling juicy,
Speaker 1: like I either feel really skinny or I feel like
Speaker 1: in between, like like thick. I like feeling thick when
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I gotta fucking ass. I don't like
Speaker 1: that in between stage, which is like that's where I
Speaker 1: feel like comfortable right now, I feel like I'm committed
Speaker 1: to juice. And I'm gonna record this and play it
Speaker 1: for you in two we No, because I know and
Speaker 1: I believe me. When I hate my body, I know
Speaker 1: that I've said that I like it before about the
Speaker 1: same body. No, I think that is true. Podcast what
Speaker 1: you go. I'm going to record this for you later,
Speaker 1: like podcast. Literally, I'm just gonna podcast. Um No, I
Speaker 1: know when I feel bad about everybody, I know what
Speaker 1: I've said good about it before. I know I'm in
Speaker 1: a delusional tunnel playing audio of me liking it at
Speaker 1: one point will not help me. I guarantee you it
Speaker 1: will make me shut down and even go deeper. So
Speaker 1: please do not play this back. But right now I'm
Speaker 1: feeling my soup. I'm feeling this out um and we're
Speaker 1: gonna have a show tomorrow, so we'll see you then.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to be Kit and
Speaker 1: Ye