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Speaker 1: Wake you up, Wake Up program you Alarm the Power

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Speaker 1: one oh five point one on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: I like what y'all are doing because you're authentic and it.

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Speaker 3: Has impact, you know, and people hold on to some

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Speaker 3: of these gems y'all made.

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Speaker 4: Monk.

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Speaker 2: Hey, bro, I'm a breakfast cluk.

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Speaker 5: I don't feeding lock off.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I love you guys watched the Breakfast Cloud flo

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Speaker 1: who's really tuned in?

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Speaker 4: Your interviews are quite challenging.

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Speaker 1: Somebody gotta do it. It's like I watched y'all show

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Speaker 1: in the morning, like you guys have the voices of the.

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Speaker 2: Morning djam just hilarious.

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Speaker 6: Charlemagne to god, everyone just kept telling the preference crazy

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Speaker 6: scared of Pokey hilarious, crazy scared Pokey hilarious.

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Speaker 2: This is your time to get it off your chest

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Speaker 2: cool eight hundred five eighty five one o five one.

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Speaker 2: We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club. Hello,

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Speaker 2: who's this yo?

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Speaker 7: Boy in Charlemagne DJ Envy me.

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Speaker 2: Day Day, Seized me Day, get it off your chest.

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Speaker 4: Brother.

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Speaker 7: Hey, Charlamagne, I gotta talk to you for a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yes, sir, Why you have to get that felt up

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Speaker 2: by Asian dudes?

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Speaker 4: Up the nel so on.

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Speaker 2: He likes it too. You see his gigy we went back.

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Speaker 4: Listen.

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Speaker 8: All I said was that when I'm in there sometimes

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Speaker 8: getting the manicure, one of the guys that worked there,

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Speaker 8: he'll come up behind you and give you a little

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Speaker 8: shoulder up, and you know, it was cool.

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Speaker 2: He liked to get it to it and it's fun.

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Speaker 7: But the weird thing was that she was like, oh,

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Speaker 7: I don't want Envy to show up, so he don't

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Speaker 7: see it.

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Speaker 2: No. What happened with Clipping.

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Speaker 8: Know what happened was last time I was in there,

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Speaker 8: Envy's wife and his daughter was in there, and then

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Speaker 8: I saw Homie lurking, and I was like, man, don't

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Speaker 8: come rub my shoulders right now, because I didn't want

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Speaker 8: them to go back and tell Envy because I know

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Speaker 8: they would have made it weird.

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Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, yeah, go ahead, you telling yourself that.

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Speaker 6: Man, Hey, I love the breakfast club at the Staff

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Speaker 6: Record Label and it's a cruel.

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Speaker 8: But you know what was crazy though, why like like

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Speaker 8: football players, basketball players got male therapist physical trainers that

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Speaker 8: rubbed them down all day. I tell one story about

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Speaker 8: the Asian man giving me a shoulder rub, and now

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Speaker 8: you know, I'm questionable.

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Speaker 2: You've always been questionable. That's not the team.

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Speaker 1: You've always been questionable. It's not like one time you've

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Speaker 1: been questionable.

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Speaker 2: Hello, who is this?

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Speaker 5: Shave?

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Speaker 4: Hey? Shave hey shave?

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Speaker 2: What up though? Get it off your chest.

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Speaker 7: Mama that morning.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, I just wanted to let my family know that

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Speaker 9: I'm not mad at all for not telling me that

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Speaker 9: my cousin has been sleep through with my previous boy

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Speaker 9: friend's they're about five years since together. But they she

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Speaker 9: didn't know that that was theim or whatever she was

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Speaker 9: around when he was around. But she said he didn't

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Speaker 9: know that was him. However, I just want to let

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Speaker 9: them know I'm not mad at them, they claimed. I mean,

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Speaker 9: they had funny like I should be the one that's

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Speaker 9: a fit, but they have it. But I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 9: I'm not mad at all like this whatever, but I

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Speaker 9: just want to let my cousin I'm not.

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Speaker 4: Mad at you.

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Speaker 9: Girls ahead, and she allagedly pregnant by himself.

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Speaker 2: D you got a new man, you should come with

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Speaker 2: your new man.

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Speaker 6: You got a new man problem.

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Speaker 4: She wasn't.

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Speaker 2: She got about three of them. That's not a flex man.

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Speaker 10: That don't walk in with all of them.

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Speaker 2: That's not a flex okay, but you know what it

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Speaker 2: looks like.

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Speaker 10: It seems like you dodged the bullet dough.

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Speaker 2: So that's what's up, definitely.

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Speaker 6: But I just want to let her know I'm not

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Speaker 6: mad at your girl.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, your that's how you get BV two. I

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Speaker 2: just want you to know that.

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Speaker 11: But five years do your thank Wow, three.

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Speaker 2: Or four men, and you an't gonna know where the

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Speaker 2: commedia came from. Hello, who's this man? My name is

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Speaker 2: get Off Jr.

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Speaker 6: What's going on, Charlotte mane ivy uh?

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Speaker 2: I don't know if about that?

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Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 6: About that? Hey man, I'd be a lot. I be

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Speaker 6: vised a lot, doing a lot of different things throughout

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Speaker 6: my years and stuff, doing stuff for the community and

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Speaker 6: all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: And I'm the only brother, so.

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Speaker 8: I just.

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Speaker 6: I have the ideal through different things. But she just

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Speaker 6: put out a book, and I just read a book.

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Speaker 7: I just read a book, and and.

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Speaker 6: I just read a book, and your theme had all

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Speaker 6: of the domestic vice that.

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Speaker 2: She went through, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 6: And I found out all this stuff I read her book.

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Speaker 6: So I wanted to get this off. My chance to

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Speaker 6: apologize to my sister for not being the big brother.

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Speaker 6: And ain't I already know that she already uh you know,

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Speaker 6: you know, like how they trying to hold it back

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Speaker 6: from their brother.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, stuff like that.

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Speaker 6: You know, But I ain't know it was it was

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Speaker 6: to think I gotta do a lot of things. But man,

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Speaker 6: but like I said, I like he's doing a lot

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Speaker 6: of stuff, man, and really want paying attention. Man, And

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Speaker 6: I just want to like apologize to my.

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Speaker 7: Little sister man, Jackie Gooseby. Man, she got the you

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Speaker 7: know what I'm saying, and she listened.

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Speaker 4: Man.

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Speaker 6: She she just put a book out there.

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Speaker 7: Did anybody want to check it out? The call to

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Speaker 7: make my pen cry?

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Speaker 2: That's how did she tell you that she was getting.

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Speaker 6: I'm relearning, I'm sir, relearning to make my pen.

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Speaker 8: Cry, relearning to make my paying right? Did she tell

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Speaker 8: you she was getting abused when she was getting abused?

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Speaker 6: Take that again?

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Speaker 2: Did she tell you she was getting abused when she

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Speaker 2: was getting abused?

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Speaker 11: No, Man, I knew, I knew regular.

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Speaker 7: I knew regular relationship.

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Speaker 4: Self.

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Speaker 11: Yeah, you know what I'm saying, But but it ain't

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Speaker 11: it ain't it ain't. It ain't go that, you know,

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Speaker 11: she ain't go that.

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Speaker 6: Defer, Then when I talked to her when you're talking

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Speaker 6: to her, man, she was telling me that, you know

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Speaker 6: what I'm saying, you don't want to keep her thoullard

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Speaker 6: out of You know, I don't be I don't been

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Speaker 6: in trouble and all that, so you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 6: So but at the end of today, man, I want

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Speaker 6: to polize my plan.

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Speaker 2: Seem me very that. Man.

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Speaker 6: I learned a lot of that stuff in that book. Man,

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Speaker 6: and they got me feeling got me really feeling bad.

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Speaker 8: You know, don't beat yourself up too bad because it's

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Speaker 8: not like you knew what was going on and ignore

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Speaker 8: you That's right.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, man, all right, I can get anybody your

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Speaker 6: their courage and courage. You know what I'm saying, They

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Speaker 6: ain't not just I mean taking this little free court man.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate it, Yes, I appreciate you.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 1: Get it off your chest eight hundred five eighty five

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Speaker 1: one O five one. If you need to vent, hit

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Speaker 1: up now. It's the breakfast club. Good morning, telling.

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Speaker 2: I'm telling what's doing.

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Speaker 4: Call of you?

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Speaker 2: This is your time to get it off your chest,

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Speaker 2: whether you're mad or blessed. Eight hundred five one. We

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Speaker 2: want to hear from you on the breakfast clubs.

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Speaker 4: Hello, who's this? Good morning? Good morning.

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Speaker 7: I'm a remain anonymous.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why y'all do this on the radio. Bro,

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Speaker 2: you can't see you. You can say my name is?

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Speaker 2: My name is called Ill.

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Speaker 4: What's up called?

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Speaker 2: Get it off your chest?

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Speaker 4: Bro?

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Speaker 7: There a hey, look man, I'm down here in Charlotte.

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Speaker 7: I wanted to talk about these ice rays and stuff.

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Speaker 4: Man.

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Speaker 7: So I worked at construction, right.

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Speaker 6: And it's crazy.

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Speaker 7: Uh you know it's majority ran by Republicans construction in

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Speaker 7: this year, right, So he got a lot of white guys.

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Speaker 4: Stuff that are running this. Man.

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Speaker 7: You should see how how much of a panic there

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Speaker 7: because nobody's showing up.

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Speaker 2: On these job sites.

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Speaker 8: Bro, I can imagine if I don't even know who

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Speaker 8: the hell he got working on the barroom right.

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Speaker 7: Right, so like like you're talking like full trade. So

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Speaker 7: I was on the job yesterday and he's got still

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Speaker 7: erectors scheduled to come in to start putting up still

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Speaker 7: like the actual structure of the building, but the whole

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Speaker 7: the whole team of still erect it is called although

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Speaker 7: it didn't show up, you know what I mean. And

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Speaker 7: now they're all in a panic and I'm like, y'all

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Speaker 7: vooted for this man?

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Speaker 2: Hello, who is Hey?

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Speaker 7: What's going on? Say?

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Speaker 4: Jay? What up?

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Speaker 2: Get it off your chest?

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Speaker 11: Jay?

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Speaker 4: Man?

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Speaker 11: Look, I just I just want to get a breakfast

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Speaker 11: of a shout out.

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Speaker 4: Man.

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Speaker 11: You guys really have been there this multiple times, you know,

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Speaker 11: from from the election to the scandals to the drama,

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Speaker 11: and you just you guys have just kept us just

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Speaker 11: in the zone with your entertainment, your humor. You know,

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Speaker 11: you're adverse thinking. You know, everybody has a collective and

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Speaker 11: I just think that's huge and it's important, especially for

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Speaker 11: our mental health. Man, to some people, some of us

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Speaker 11: don't even have anyone has turned to to talk about

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Speaker 11: our feelings or how we feel. And it's just good

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Speaker 11: to have that outlet.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate you. We appreciate y'all. Man, Thank you.

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Speaker 8: The Breakfast Club is America's front porch. You can come

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Speaker 8: sit sit on our front porch any morning.

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Speaker 1: Get it off your chest eight hundred and five eight five,

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Speaker 1: one oh five one. If you need de vic, call

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Speaker 1: us up right now. It's the Breakfast Club.

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Speaker 2: Good morning morning.

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Speaker 1: Everybody is DJ Envy just hilarious charlamage the guy.

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Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club.

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Speaker 1: Law La Rosa is here as well, and we got

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Speaker 1: a special guest in the building.

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Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, Mel Robbins, Welcome.

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Speaker 5: Hey, it's good to see you. How you feeling morning,

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Speaker 5: I feel great. How are you doing?

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Speaker 8: Bless Black and Holly favorite. This is your first time

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Speaker 8: in this studio. You were here in twenty twenty one

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Speaker 8: when you had a high five theory.

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Speaker 5: Yes, yes, but now millions.

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Speaker 2: Of books later, number one podcast in the world right now, yes.

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Speaker 5: Six year old woman.

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Speaker 2: You know it really feels like you've truly arrived. What

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Speaker 2: do you what do you think? You know the success?

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Speaker 2: What's made all this new success happen?

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Speaker 5: Well, you know it's not new success.

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Speaker 12: Like what you're seeing is the result of fifteen years

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Speaker 12: of just or grueling daily reps. Like That's what nobody

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Speaker 12: wants to understand, is that you can be successful. You

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Speaker 12: can achieve anything you want.

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Speaker 5: You just have to be patient.

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Speaker 12: You have to get up out of bed every single

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Speaker 12: day and put one foot in front of the other.

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Speaker 12: You got to be willing to do the things you

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Speaker 12: don't feel like doing in the dark, when nobody's watching,

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Speaker 12: and when you think that it's not gonna happen for you.

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Speaker 5: That is what it's about.

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Speaker 12: It's about just consistent, small moves, being patient. I mean,

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Speaker 12: there were so many times where I was just like,

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Speaker 12: am I ever gonna get out of it? Is anyone

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Speaker 12: ever gonna notice?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 12: Am I ever gonna get invited to the breakfast club?

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Speaker 12: Like one of the like when is somebody done to notice.

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Speaker 2: Your spot that you want it?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 12: No, but seriously, like you kind of sit there because

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Speaker 12: I mean, every one of us have had those moments,

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Speaker 12: whether you're putting out music or you're starting a YouTube

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Speaker 12: channel or you started a business, and it's so easy

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Speaker 12: to look around at what everybody else is doing and

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Speaker 12: think that you're.

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Speaker 5: Losing some race in life.

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Speaker 12: The real game is with yourself and you keep can

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Speaker 12: you say to yourself, And this is kind of how

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Speaker 12: I would keep myself going in those moments. I would say,

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Speaker 12: I refuse to believe that this is how the story ends.

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Speaker 12: I believe that at some point all of this work

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Speaker 12: is going to pay off. I don't have to know how.

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Speaker 12: I have to believe that it will. And if it

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Speaker 12: hasn't yet, it's not meant to yet. There's some lesson.

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Speaker 12: There's something I'm being.

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Speaker 5: Held for that. I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 12: But if I choose to believe in this moment that

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Speaker 12: things are going to get better, that things are going

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Speaker 12: to turn out for me, that all this hard work

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Speaker 12: is going to pay off, that trying to be a

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Speaker 12: better person is going to pay off, at some point

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Speaker 12: I will look back on my life.

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Speaker 5: And say, oh, that's why it didn't happen. Then, Oh,

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Speaker 5: that's why it took longer. Oh that's why.

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Speaker 12: Either you weren't ready or God the universe was holding

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Speaker 12: you for a different moment.

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Speaker 5: And so, you know, a lot of people ask me

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Speaker 5: what is this moment about.

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Speaker 12: I think it's about fifteen years of ridiculously hard work

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Speaker 12: becoming a better person. I think it's about fifteen years

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Speaker 12: of just chipping away at getting out of debt and

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Speaker 12: doing better in my marriage, and being a better mother,

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Speaker 12: and getting control of my emotions and my mental health,

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Speaker 12: chipping away at building a business. And I truly believe

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Speaker 12: that I was being held for this moment like this

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Speaker 12: one thousand percent is my legacy.

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Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you a question, Malt. You talk

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Speaker 1: about the reps, YEP, for you, it worked out and

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Speaker 1: successful and great. What about that person that is just

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Speaker 1: not good, right, that rap of that is not good?

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Speaker 1: Like trying that podcast person that is doing the podcast,

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Speaker 1: that is just not good. And everybody just stay good

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Speaker 1: good to anybody.

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Speaker 5: Well I don't I see, I don't believe that.

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Speaker 2: But when do you stop because you're a sixty year

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Speaker 2: old rapper like you know, I mean?

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Speaker 12: Or maybe why cantheror be a ninety one ninety year

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Speaker 12: old one? See, maybe what the rapping is for is

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Speaker 12: maybe it's not about rapping. Maybe there is something that

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Speaker 12: you're doing when you are rapping and nobody's coming that

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Speaker 12: is teaching you a lesson about patience. Maybe what it's

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Speaker 12: doing is teaching you to believe in yourself when nobody

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Speaker 12: else does. And every time that you show up and

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Speaker 12: nobody's there, every time you post a video on your

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Speaker 12: YouTube channel that only your uncle and your son are

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Speaker 12: subscribed to, every time you post, you're basically saying, you

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Speaker 12: know what, screw the world, I believe in myself. I'm

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Speaker 12: doing this for myself and so for me. When you

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Speaker 12: give the example of like the person who's a rappers

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Speaker 12: is terrible, just there's lots of people out there doing

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Speaker 12: stuff they're just terrible. What I love is that they

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Speaker 12: felt called to do something. I don't care if they

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Speaker 12: felt called to do it because they wanted to make

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Speaker 12: more money. I mean, hell, I was working five six

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Speaker 12: jobs back, you know, fifteen years ago when we were

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Speaker 12: eight hundred thousand dollars in debt because I needed groceries

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Speaker 12: on the table, I needed gas in the tank. And

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Speaker 12: so motivation to be safe and to make money or

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Speaker 12: because of your ambition, that's a beautiful thing. But at

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Speaker 12: some point you're gonna go, I'm not that good at this,

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Speaker 12: but I believe, and this is what I think is

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Speaker 12: super cool about life. Absolutely every experience that you have

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Speaker 12: in life is leading you somewhere and teaching you something.

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Speaker 12: And I'm gonna one of the reasons why I share

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Speaker 12: so much about what I've learned and the mistakes that

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Speaker 12: I've made. I'm like the villain and every book is

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Speaker 12: because I'm stubborn, Like it takes a sledgehammer from the

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Speaker 12: universe for me to wake the hell up and stop

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Speaker 12: doing something like I literally get so into my groove,

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Speaker 12: whether it's drinking too much or taking my stress out

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Speaker 12: on my kids or being a jealous, insecure friend that

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Speaker 12: things have to backfire for me to wake up and go, well, yes,

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Speaker 12: I better try something different.

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Speaker 8: Well, I want to just set it up about the book, man,

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Speaker 8: there's some books that I believe are must reads in life.

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Speaker 8: Delecting Theory by Mel Robbins has been added to that

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Speaker 8: must readless. My wife got it for me a few

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Speaker 8: weeks ago, and the book is just essentially about how

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Speaker 8: you have to stop wasting your life on things that

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Speaker 8: you can't control.

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Speaker 2: When did you get to that revelus?

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, fifty four? I am a learner, you know.

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Speaker 12: And the funny thing is is I'm married to the

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Speaker 12: chillest dude on the plan. I mean, I'm married to

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Speaker 12: a man who is not only Buddhist, he is a

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Speaker 12: death duela. And like when you want to talk about

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Speaker 12: like a person, yeah that can just sit in stillness.

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Speaker 12: I'm like a tornado of emotion. And so I've always

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Speaker 12: wanted to let things go. I've always wanted to not

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Speaker 12: care what people think. I've never known how. And see,

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Speaker 12: when you're stressed, or you're easily offended like I used

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Speaker 12: to be, or you have a lot going on, it

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Speaker 12: is very hard to not get wrapped up and what

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Speaker 12: other people are thinking and doing it's very hard to

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Speaker 12: not let what your kids are going through stress you out.

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Speaker 12: And so you know, I've been trying to do this forever.

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Speaker 12: I mean, this is not a new idea. The serenity

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Speaker 12: prayer is the let Them theory. In fact, you know,

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Speaker 12: I sat down with doctor Martin Luther King the third

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Speaker 12: and his wife and Andrea, and they both said, we

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Speaker 12: write about it in the let Them theory. They both

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Speaker 12: reflect on the fact that this concept that you have

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Speaker 12: to give up control in order to gain control, that

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Speaker 12: your power is in your response.

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Speaker 5: That this is part of doctor Martin Luther King Junior's.

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Speaker 12: Legacy because your response is what dictates who you are.

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Speaker 5: It's not what's happening out there.

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Speaker 12: It's how you respond to it with your thoughts and

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Speaker 12: your actions and how you process your own emotions. And

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Speaker 12: so I did not know this until I was fifty

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Speaker 12: four years old. And you know, for me personally, the

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Speaker 12: power of these two words because let them.

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Speaker 5: We've all said let them in our lives a bazillion times.

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Speaker 12: I mean, there's a sermon circulating that's twenty years old,

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Speaker 12: Dad Jakes doing this let them sermons. So this is

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Speaker 12: a concept that has been around since the beginning of time.

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Speaker 12: And that's why this is resonated. I'm not teaching you

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Speaker 12: something new, I'm reminding you of what you already know

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Speaker 12: to be true, and I'm handing you this tool so

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Speaker 12: you can snap out of this crap where we're constantly

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Speaker 12: worked up about what other people are doing to take

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Speaker 12: our power back.

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Speaker 13: You talk about managing other people a lot, and I've

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Speaker 13: never heard the term put like that, but you use

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Speaker 13: it to basically talk about how we're still what's you're

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Speaker 13: talking about me?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 13: We're worried about other people, but also too, I think

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Speaker 13: it's expectations of other people that we're trying to we're

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Speaker 13: making decisions based around that a lot. When did you

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Speaker 13: realize this whole scale of like managing other people and

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Speaker 13: learning when the clock out of that job of trying.

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Speaker 4: To do that?

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Speaker 12: Well, So what's going to happen is this so when

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Speaker 12: you start using the let them theory, and it's so

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Speaker 12: easy to use the next time you're stressed out or

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Speaker 12: annoyed or frustrated, and it's always with other people, just

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Speaker 12: say let them. That's how I use it, Let them,

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Speaker 12: and you're going to immediately feel peaceful. Your mom's in

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Speaker 12: a bad mood. Let her be in a bad mood.

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Speaker 12: Some old friend of yours is talking. Let them talk trash.

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Speaker 12: Why you're not allowing it. When you say let them,

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Speaker 12: you are reminding yourself there's one thing in life I

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Speaker 12: can't control. It's what other people say, do, believe, feel,

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Speaker 12: And it's on my job to So when you start

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Speaker 12: saying let them, and you detach yourself from the responsibility

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Speaker 12: of having to manage somebody else, something interesting happens. You realize,

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Speaker 12: oh my god, I've lived my life in reserve reverse.

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Speaker 12: I actually live my life giving time and energy trying

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Speaker 12: to manage what other people think. I have kept myself

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Speaker 12: in a major or in a relationship or in a

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Speaker 12: situation because I'm afraid to disappoint my parents or my friends.

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Speaker 12: I mean, how many people keep drinking or like, keep

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Speaker 12: going out at night when what they really want to

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Speaker 12: do is launch a business, and so they don't take

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Speaker 12: the weekends to work on the things that they want

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Speaker 12: to work on because they feel like they don't want

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Speaker 12: to disappoint their friends or people going to talk about them.

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Speaker 5: That's you giving power to other people.

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Speaker 12: Like another way that we give power to other people

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Speaker 12: is we get so focused on the headlines that we

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Speaker 12: gaslight ourselves into believing that.

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Speaker 5: You have no power. It's complete garbage. Of course you

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Speaker 5: have power.

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Speaker 12: And so when you start saying let them, it's sort

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Speaker 12: of this revelation where you're like, oh my god, I

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Speaker 12: spend so much time and energy worrying about other people.

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Speaker 5: I spent so much time and energy letting them stress

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Speaker 5: me out.

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Speaker 13: But is there a level of like when that becomes

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Speaker 13: easier versus harder? Because when you were just talking, I

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Speaker 13: thought about Michelle Obama. Yes, in the podcast, one of

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Speaker 13: the podcasts she did this week, she was talking about

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Speaker 13: how she realized she was doing a lot for other people,

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Speaker 13: not thinking about herself, and she started making decisions for us.

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Speaker 13: So she's going place, so she wants to go and

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Speaker 13: doss like that anything. She's divorced because of it. But

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Speaker 13: it's like, she's Michelle Obama, so it's hard for her

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Speaker 13: to like the noise is so it's a lot louder

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Speaker 13: for her well.

449
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,159
Speaker 12: Of course, But whether or not you pay attention to

450
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,440
Speaker 12: that is within your control, whether or not you look

451
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 12: at your phone, And we're all guilty of it, whether

452
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,719
Speaker 12: you are Michelle Obama or you're just going into your

453
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 12: middle school. Whether or not you give attention to the gossip,

454
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 12: you look for the gossip, you mainline it. That is

455
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 12: within your control. If you say, I can never ever,

456
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:39,159
Speaker 12: ever stop somebody from lying about me, from making up

457
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 12: stuff about me, from you know, saying whatever they're going

458
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 12: to say, So why on earth would I spend any

459
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 12: time and energy managing it? And then you go, let

460
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 12: me This is the second part of the theory. Once't

461
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 12: you say, let them, let them think negative thoughts, let

462
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 12: them make up all kinds of crap, Because if you

463
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 12: know you're not getting divorced, what do you care about

464
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,680
Speaker 12: these idiots saying let me remind myself that I know

465
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,640
Speaker 12: the truth. And when you know the truth about who

466
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 12: you are, you don't think about other people. When you

467
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,119
Speaker 12: live your life in a way that makes you proud,

468
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 12: you don't think about other people.

469
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 2: I tell them all you tell me to read.

470
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 13: Her book, and I was, and I already had the

471
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 13: book because I think Eddie had given it to us

472
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 13: a minute. I was like, oh, I got the book,

473
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 13: and you got it.

474
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 5: It will change your damn. I'm telling you it will

475
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 5: change your life.

476
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 1: Because but you have to get to that stage yes,

477
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,399
Speaker 1: because it's it took me a while to get to

478
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:26,879
Speaker 1: that stage.

479
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:27,960
Speaker 2: It took a while to get to that.

480
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:29,439
Speaker 10: You think he was born that way, and.

481
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 2: So I've never truly cared right.

482
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 8: But then even when I started to care, I realized

483
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 8: things like the serenity prayer, a little simple things that

484
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 8: you saw sitting in your grandmother's house. You realize that

485
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 8: is absolutely the truth of God, Grammy, the serenity. Accept

486
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 8: things I cannot change, courage change the things I can.

487
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 2: And withn't no difference.

488
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,760
Speaker 8: And the easiest way to let go of what you

489
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 8: can't control is just realizing you never had control to

490
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:52,159
Speaker 8: begin with.

491
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 5: And here's another thing that's really important.

492
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 12: That's why you're gonna love it, is that what ol

493
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 12: stirt to happen when you say let them is it's

494
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 12: not that you're allowing people to do bad things.

495
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 5: They're already doing bad things.

496
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 12: You're recognizing that it's not your job to manage other people,

497
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 12: because this is a book that's about power and control

498
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 12: and peace. Then you say, let me remind myself how

499
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 12: I respond to things actually is where my power is.

500
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 12: So do I give this any time and energy or not?

501
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 12: Do I double down on just living my life in

502
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 12: a way that makes me proud of myself, which is

503
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 12: where your power is. And the thing that also changed

504
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 12: me dramatically is I couldn't believe how much stress I

505
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 12: felt and how I was bracing all the time. And

506
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 12: when you start to say let them, and you release

507
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:46,200
Speaker 12: that kind of obligation to make other people happy or

508
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 12: to make everybody know that you're not divorced, or that

509
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,479
Speaker 12: everything's okay, or like, just let them think whatever they

510
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,159
Speaker 12: want to think, and live your life in a way

511
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 12: that makes you proud. You're going to get all this

512
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 12: time and energy back. And what I love about this

513
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,439
Speaker 12: is when you're less stressed and when you're not bracing

514
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 12: all the time, because you.

515
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 5: Know your boss is narcissistic, so why on earth.

516
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 12: Would you walk into work assuming that that he's going

517
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 12: to be anything other than what it already has always been.

518
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 5: Let them be who they are.

519
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 2: I love the Managing Stress chapter.

520
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 8: And in that chapter you say you can't control how

521
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 8: other adults behave and stressing about it diminishes your power.

522
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,479
Speaker 8: You'll never reach the full potential of your life if

523
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,879
Speaker 8: you continue to allow stupid things to rule people to

524
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,239
Speaker 8: drain your life for can you Yes?

525
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 12: Yes, So the two most important resources that you have

526
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 12: in life time energy, that's what you got. How you

527
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,640
Speaker 12: spend your time, where you put your energy, it actually

528
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 12: determines your experience of life. And that's why I say,

529
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 12: if you have this experience right now where you're exhausted

530
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 12: and overwhelmed and nervous and you're not like feeling like

531
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 12: you can ever have time for yourself or your goals

532
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 12: to start clicking, You're not the problem. The problem is

533
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 12: all this time and energy you spend dealing with other people,

534
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 12: and so let them is a boundary that you draw

535
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 12: where you start to wreck it. Okay, I'm going to

536
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 12: let other people think and feel and do and have

537
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 12: their opinions, and I'm going to let them be disappointed.

538
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 12: I'm going to let them misunderstand me, and I'm going

539
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 12: to let me really take that time and energy back

540
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 12: and pour it into working on myself and staying in

541
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 12: my piece. And what I've found is that when I'm

542
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 12: less stressed, which i am because I'm not allowing stupid

543
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 12: stuff for other people to stress me out, I'm actually

544
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,159
Speaker 12: a better person. I make more money because I can

545
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 12: use my brain instead of being in fire or flight.

546
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 5: I don't like vomit on my kids. My emotions.

547
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 12: Like I used to be the kind of person that

548
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 12: would come in at you know, after work and yelling

549
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 12: at everybody or mad at the dog for crying out loud,

550
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 12: and then I'd be like, I'm sorry, it was a

551
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 12: bad day.

552
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 5: At work, stressful day at work with the dogs.

553
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 12: You know, they kind of do this, and then they

554
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 12: come back and they're really nice because they they literally

555
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 12: dogs don't do don't like punish you for that, And

556
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 12: it's so sad that I used to leave them worst

557
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 12: of me for the people I cared about the most,

558
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,360
Speaker 12: and then blame it on the stress of the day.

559
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 12: That By the way, when you use the let them theory,

560
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 12: you have control over whether or not this stuff.

561
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 5: Gets to you.

562
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 4: Let me do it.

563
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 2: I have a question.

564
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, in chapter five you say let them think bad

565
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,479
Speaker 1: thoughts about you, right. The question with that is when

566
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 1: a lot of people sometimes especially on social media, right ye,

567
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: nobody facts checks anymore, but that could affect your reputation.

568
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: That can affect your business. That could affect the way

569
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 1: that your kids, teachers look at you, or business that

570
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 1: comes around.

571
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 2: Of course, what are you doing well?

572
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 4: So here.

573
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 12: This is a very tricky question because you're talking about

574
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 12: the PR and the media swirl. PR is a little

575
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 12: bit different in personal like, I think it's really important

576
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 12: to understand who you are, whether you're dealing with rumors

577
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 12: at a middle school, or you're dealing with rumors in

578
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 12: your community, or you've got somebody in your family trash

579
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 12: talking you.

580
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 5: In order to.

581
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,920
Speaker 12: Repair your reputation, it is better to show than to tell.

582
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,400
Speaker 12: In my opinion, you prove the truth based on how

583
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 12: you show up in life, not based.

584
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 5: On the words that come out of your mouth.

585
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 12: And if there is somebody spreading things about you, the

586
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 12: best way to handle it is to go directly to

587
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 12: that person and to ask them about it. Because those

588
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 12: kind of people, the people that gossip about you, ultimately

589
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 12: end up crumbling anyway, because it always catches.

590
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 4: Up with them.

591
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 8: You know, you were in the book you talk about

592
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 8: how you felt paralyzed by imposter syndrome, especially when you

593
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 8: were teaching.

594
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, the five second rule. I wonder what's changed since then?

595
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 8: We'll gives you the confidence and authority now to feel

596
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 8: like you can go out here and teach to.

597
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 12: Lect them do That's a great, great question, So you

598
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 12: know how well. First of all, impostor syndrome is deeply misunderstood.

599
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 12: So imposter syndrome does not mean that you don't belong

600
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 12: in the room you're in. Imposter syndrome means you actually

601
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 12: want to be in the room you're in, and there's

602
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 12: skills or there's experience that you need to gain in

603
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 12: order to dominate in that room. Imposter syndrome is actually

604
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 12: not self doubt.

605
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 5: It's ambition.

606
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 13: And so thanks that a bit because it's always been

607
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 13: said the other way.

608
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 12: Yeah, And so if you really think about it, if

609
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 12: you walk into a room and you don't feel impostor syndrome,

610
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 12: it's because you don't want to be in that room.

611
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 12: You don't care what people think about you in that room.

612
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 12: If you walk into a room and you feel a

613
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 12: sense of imposter syndrome, it's because you care about what

614
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 12: people think about you in that room. It means your

615
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 12: ambition wants you to succeed in that room.

616
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 14: Oh like push to stay sharp, correct, okay, and also like, hey,

617
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,120
Speaker 14: I want to actually succeed around people like this, which

618
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 14: means what are the skills I need and what I

619
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 14: started to understand and I think it explains a lot

620
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 14: about why I am who.

621
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 5: I am is that we're all the same.

622
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 12: Everybody is dealing with the same stuff. Yes, it's easier

623
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 12: if you have more money and more resources, but at

624
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 12: the end of the day, everybody's got a family member

625
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 12: that they're worried about. Everybody has ambition they're not tapping into.

626
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 12: Everybody has things that they want to pursue in their life,

627
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 12: and they're kind of letting themselves down a little bit.

628
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 12: Everybody struggles with a little bit of uncertainty and anxiety

629
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 12: at time. Everybody has hopes and dreams and feels a

630
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 12: little discouraged and overwhelmed. And when you started a baseline

631
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 12: that people would love to thrive, and people thrive when

632
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,959
Speaker 12: they can, and if they can't, I believe it's because

633
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 12: they're discouraged, or there's some skill building or some experience

634
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 12: or you know, some mentorship that's missing. That's it, but

635
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 12: that you're built to thrive. And so when you really

636
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 12: start at that baseline, like you know, I make it

637
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 12: a practice. By the way, this is this is one

638
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 12: thing that will change your life. When you go into

639
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 12: a public.

640
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 5: Bathroom, two things. I always leave the space better than when.

641
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 4: I found it.

642
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 5: I always clean public bathrooms. No, no, no, literally, like

643
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 5: I literally that's why I don't go into that stall.

644
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 5: But okay, no, just.

645
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 12: Because if somebody like destroy especially women, If somebody destroys

646
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 12: a seat, peas all over it and then they leave,

647
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 12: that is a human being that is so disconnected from

648
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 12: the interconnection of the human experience. You are leaving that

649
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 12: for another person, and so making sure that you don't

650
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 12: leave your mess for another person, making sure that you

651
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 12: just kind of wipe down the counter.

652
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 5: And then here's the second thing.

653
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 12: If there is a human being cleaning that bathroom, please

654
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 12: look in the ai and say thank you all the time,

655
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:18,400
Speaker 12: thank you like that right there is a simple thing

656
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 12: that will make you start to shake out of that

657
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 12: woe is me or that stress or that overwhelmed. Let

658
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 12: them know you appreciate and see what they're doing, because

659
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 12: it changes who you are. And then you start to

660
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 12: see all day long that there are like.

661
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 15: You know, I can't look at you the cry people

662
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 15: are just walking around disconnected, And the power of starting

663
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,679
Speaker 15: to be the one that wakes people up.

664
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 5: Hey, you know I always get to tell or hey,

665
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 5: how's everybody doing? Like it's shocking how we.

666
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 12: Have gotten so far away from that sense of community,

667
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 12: and there's actually research around this. They call it either

668
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 12: weak ties. I call them warm connection. Those people that

669
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 12: you see in the building every day, that you say

670
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 12: hello to the person that's walking the dog, that you

671
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 12: know the name of the dog in your neighborhood. These

672
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 12: relationships matter because they make you feel human again.

673
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 13: When you feel the impact from what you're doing with

674
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 13: your book, and to let them theory like, you just

675
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 13: got emotional, not even just about your impact, but just

676
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 13: talking about just change in the world. How does it

677
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 13: make you feel like do you take a moment just

678
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 13: of gratitude and be like, because I saw all the

679
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 13: tattoos in the book, and I was like, that's on fire.

680
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,479
Speaker 13: It's hard to make people like actually believe something that's

681
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 13: not tangible.

682
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 12: One of the things that you know, For me, I

683
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 12: spent so many years like hating myself and feeling like

684
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 12: I was a really bad person.

685
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 5: And when you get stuck in life, it's easy to

686
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 5: think you're the only one.

687
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 12: And so I'm just literally on a mission to share

688
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 12: whatever I could share and give people access just like

689
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 12: you guys, give people access to incredible thinkers and experts

690
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 12: and resources. So your work is reaching some way halfway

691
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 12: around the world that doesn't even have a toilet in

692
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 12: their house.

693
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 5: And how incredible is that?

694
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 12: And if I can save anybody the headaches and the

695
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 12: heartaches that I cause myself for the people that I

696
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 12: care about, because I didn't know any better. I didn't

697
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 12: know what the problem was. I didn't know how to

698
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 12: change myself. I didn't know how to push through the

699
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 12: emotion that is a life well lived.

700
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 10: Why did you hate yourself though? Because you can't do

701
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 10: anything about.

702
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 5: What you don't Oh my god, hey, we don't have time.

703
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,479
Speaker 12: I literally like from the amount of cheating I did

704
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 12: when I was little, to the undiagnosed anxiety or the

705
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 12: undiagnosed to selexy and ADHD, and how that created tremendous anxiety.

706
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 12: So the way that childhood trauma impacted me that I

707
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 12: didn't even realize was impacting me, Like it's just chronic.

708
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 12: I just did not think I was a bad person.

709
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 12: And there's a lot of people walking around that have

710
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 12: a hundred times more negative thoughts than they do positive ones,

711
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 12: And a lot of people develop a habit of being

712
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 12: very self critical. It's never enough, like You're never gonna

713
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 12: make it like you're always so stupid.

714
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 5: Why did you do that?

715
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 12: Either because that's how they were talked to when they

716
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 12: were little, or because it's this like almost protective thing

717
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 12: that if you beat yourself up first, you're going to

718
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 12: catch it before other people do. And I got to

719
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 12: a point, and this is an important thing. The only

720
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 12: thing you need to make your life better is one decision.

721
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 12: How I'm living my life right now and how it

722
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 12: feels no longer works for me.

723
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 5: That's all you need to know.

724
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 12: If you can have the courage to say that to yourself,

725
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 12: you now have tipped the first domino because you've made

726
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 12: a decision that you want to change how your life feels.

727
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 12: You made a decision that you want to change how

728
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 12: it feels up here. And for me as a mom,

729
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 12: like your kids absorb the way that you treat yourself.

730
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 12: And so having two daughters that I started noticing, my god,

731
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 12: why are these beautiful young women picking themselves apart? Well

732
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 12: because I do. Why are they so hard on it?

733
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 12: Because I was so hard on myself. That's how they

734
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 12: learn it, And so I don't want them to do

735
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 12: that to themselves. And you know, the thing I was

736
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 12: going to share that's made a huge difference for me

737
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 12: is that I keep the impact front and center, and

738
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 12: so we send an email out five days a week.

739
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 12: There's a person on our team whose job is to

740
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 12: assemble all of the things that people are saying all

741
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 12: over the world about the books and the podcast, not

742
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 12: about Mel, but about what you learned. And I'll tell

743
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 12: you every day there's twenty to thirty of them. And

744
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 12: just the other day there was a person who talked

745
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 12: about how he was a stepdad and the relationship ended

746
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 12: and those step kids were his life and he didn't

747
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 12: want to be here anymore. And somebody started to share

748
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 12: the podcast with him and he would go and take

749
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 12: a walk every morning and listen to the podcast, and

750
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 12: it started give him a sense of hope. And now

751
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 12: he uses the let them theory. This is a person

752
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 12: that actually works in like a police operations control center.

753
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 12: Never in a million years what I think this is

754
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 12: somebody that's listening to the Mel Robins podcast or listening

755
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 12: to this kind of conversation. But it goes to prove

756
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 12: that everybody wants to do well, everybody wants to thrive,

757
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 12: and you know when you're not doing well.

758
00:31:58,840 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 5: You know, when you're not.

759
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 12: Thrit The problem for most of us is just kind

760
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 12: of feeling like I don't think this could change. And

761
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 12: the fact is horse it can change. If you've ever

762
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 12: been happy in your life, you can be happy again.

763
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 12: If you've ever been proud of yourself, you can be

764
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 12: proud of yourself again. If you've ever forgiven somebody else,

765
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 12: you can learn to forgive yourself.

766
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 8: And you know, also, God doesn't call to qualify. He

767
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 8: qualified the called, and you've been called.

768
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 5: Meil Robin, I feel that I love you man, I

769
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 5: love you too.

770
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 2: Wow.

771
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 4: That's right.

772
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 2: Well, we appreciate you for joining us. Thank you, thank

773
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 2: you all right. Well it's Meil Robbins. It's the Breakfast Club.

774
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 2: Good morning morning everybody.

775
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne to God. We are

776
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 1: the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the

777
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 1: building of Icon Living, Dawn Stanley.

778
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: Welcome back.

779
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 10: How do you feel?

780
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 4: Thank you?

781
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 5: Thank you.

782
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 16: Y'all usually come back when we win the championship. We

783
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 16: lost this year, So thank you all.

784
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 2: For you're always invited.

785
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: Well time uncommon favorite is out right now basketball in

786
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: North Philly. My mother and the life lessons I learned

787
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: from all three is out right? Now, how are you feeling?

788
00:32:58,640 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 10: I'm feeling great.

789
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 16: My friends have received their books and they have nothing

790
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 16: but like great things like my cup running over.

791
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 4: Yeah it did.

792
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,959
Speaker 16: I gotta give you a shout out. And you sparked

793
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 16: the conversation. So many people have asked me to write

794
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 16: a book, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah right,

795
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 16: but it came from so many different people. And then

796
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 16: when I came on the show in twenty twenty two,

797
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 16: we talked about it, and you just you kept the

798
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 16: conversation going.

799
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 10: You're real persistent with it, you know.

800
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 16: That's That's what I'm attracted to most, is like somebody

801
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 16: that actually is it persistent yet persistent and know the process,

802
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 16: like you knew the process. I don't know if you

803
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 16: knew my story, so to speak, but you knew enough

804
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 16: to know that you know this, this book will be

805
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 16: received well.

806
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 10: And I appreciate that well.

807
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 2: People like you don't come around too often.

808
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 8: Don like you are a once in a generational just person,

809
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 8: you know, and you really learned that when you read

810
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 8: the book, not even just as a coach, but as

811
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 8: a basketball player, but more so as a child of Philadelphia.

812
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 10: Man, I mean I had fun, Like the process was fun.

813
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 10: It's liberating.

814
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 16: It is you know, you don't really know how you're

815
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 16: going to be received, but every person like I'm actually

816
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 16: waiting for a critic, Like I'm waiting for somebody saying

817
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 16: what didn't go right in the book, and then we

818
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 16: have yet to get to that point. And one of

819
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 16: my friends was, you know, listening at a long road trip,

820
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 16: listened to the entire book yesterday and she was like,

821
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 16: I'm in tears, I'm laughing. I get it, like the

822
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 16: leadership part of it, Like I mean, the emotions that

823
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 16: are in the book, and it's it's me.

824
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 10: So some of it is emotional me.

825
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 16: Some of it is just I'm able to just get

826
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 16: it out because I remembered most of it and I

827
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 16: had to call on my siblings and kind of fill.

828
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 5: In the gaps.

829
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 16: But it's me, like it it's so me, it's so relatable.

830
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 16: It's so it was an easy process.

831
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 5: So was the therapeutic at all to do it?

832
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 16: No, it was just natural. It wasn't like it was natural.

833
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 16: And I think sharing my story is just relatable to people.

834
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 16: It's not like, you know, I don't think it's an

835
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 16: overdo it with the accolades. It's like the accolades are

836
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 16: intertwined and everybody's accolades won't be like Olympian and actual champions,

837
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 16: but on a certain level, like if you graduate high

838
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 16: school it's relatable, if you graduate college is relatable. If

839
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 16: you can pull yourself out of the projects of any city,

840
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 16: it's relatable. And there's no wrong path, like there's no

841
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 16: like you can get off tiltered, but then you got

842
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 16: to come back by like habits, come back by. The

843
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 16: lessons in the book are just just it relates to

844
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 16: every single thing that you would want to accomplish in life.

845
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 16: And I'm not just saying that the pump the book,

846
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 16: but it really is like I'm only giving what other

847
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 16: people are giving me, the feedback they're giving me.

848
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 10: And it's cool to hear people just relate to the book.

849
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 1: Yes, I love it because you know, people know you

850
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 1: from different things, right, Some people know you as a player,

851
00:35:58,600 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 1: some people know you as a coach.

852
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 2: But with this book, it starts from where you came from,

853
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: which is North.

854
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 8: Philly, right, And you talk about rosenhousing projects and you

855
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 8: talk about you know, you.

856
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: Said growing up in the projects was the best decision

857
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 1: your parents made. Explain that a little bit in how

858
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: that formed to the woman that.

859
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 2: You are today.

860
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,760
Speaker 16: Just imagine the people that don't grow up in the projects.

861
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 16: What you think happens in the projects. You think probably

862
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 16: only one thing, crime like bad things like And for me,

863
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 16: it was the foundation of giving me the scars I needed,

864
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 16: the chinks and the armor I needed to succeed. Like

865
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 16: there was unity in the projects. There was discipline in

866
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 16: the projects that was manicure lawns. There was my block

867
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 16: I grew up, never had trash in it, like it

868
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 16: was captain in a way that would compete with any

869
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 16: suburban lawn like or neighborhood. So it was it was

870
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,919
Speaker 16: all those things that helped build you up, Like I'm

871
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 16: unbothered and unafraid to tackle on the most challenging things

872
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 16: life because that's nothing compared to what that's nothing like.

873
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 10: So I think it gave me the foundation.

874
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,359
Speaker 16: I needed to just be able to coach every day,

875
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 16: like coach young people, like generations are changing. Coaching talent

876
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 16: and individuals and young people nowadays, it's very very challenging.

877
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 2: I love how you embrace your inn a child.

878
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 8: That's what I love this picture on that ask what's

879
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 8: the moment from your childhood that still shapes how you

880
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 8: like handle pressure to day.

881
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 16: You know, there's a story that I that I share

882
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 16: in the book about my father, who I mean, I'm

883
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 16: over fifty now, right, but when he I don't know

884
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 16: if I was twelve fourteen, maybe I got invited to

885
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 16: play on this team and this competition outside of Philly,

886
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 16: like it was a road trip and my father was like, no,

887
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 16: you can't go.

888
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 10: Like that hurt me, Like it really hurt me.

889
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 16: And I remembered it so vividly that for him to

890
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 16: deny me that because it was one of the first times.

891
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 16: But I'm thirteen, fourteen years old, whose parents gonna let

892
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 16: them somebody take their child out of state? Like I

893
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 16: wasn't thinking about that. I was solely thinking about basketball.

894
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 16: But it was one of the one of the experiences

895
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 16: that drove.

896
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 10: Me, like didn't I didn't like my father for that,

897
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 10: Like I didn't like.

898
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 16: Him for the decision parental decision that he made. But

899
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 16: as I'm older now and reflecting on and writing a book,

900
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 16: it is I need conflict.

901
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 10: I know that about myself that I need conflict.

902
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 16: Like everything can't be comfortable, Like if I have you know,

903
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,280
Speaker 16: ten people supporting me, you know here, I need about.

904
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 10: Ten to twelve people that hated like I need it.

905
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 10: I mean, it helps me. It drives me, like it

906
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 10: drives me. While you said, I don't have a critic yet,

907
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 10: I'm waiting for the book right now, right, So it's

908
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 10: that is the ability.

909
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 16: Like you know, we lost to Yukon this year, Like

910
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 16: you know, the critics are saying I can't coach, like

911
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 16: that's what they say. But I'm like, okay, well but

912
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 16: but again, everything that I've needed in my life, you know,

913
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 16: failure success happens to me.

914
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 10: It's uncommon. Like, but I know our loss this year

915
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 10: will somehow help us. It will.

916
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 16: I'm not just relying on it helping us. I'm gonna

917
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 16: put action to it, so it means something.

918
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 2: I love them.

919
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 8: You said that in a postgame conference. You was like,

920
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,760
Speaker 8: I hope that they're crying. I hope that my players

921
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 8: are crying. I hope that it hurts. That'll make them

922
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 8: be better next hit.

923
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 16: Yeah, I mean, the most growth takes place when you're uncomfortable,

924
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 16: the most if you're comfortable all the time. And I've

925
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 16: said this as well, like parents really don't want their

926
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 16: kids to feel what they felt like pain, and I'm like,

927
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 16: I want them to feel a little pain.

928
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 10: I want them to hurt. I want them to be uncomfortable,

929
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 10: and I love them enough.

930
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,320
Speaker 16: To allow them to sit in that space because not

931
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 16: for long, but they need to fight their way out

932
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 16: of it, because nothing's gonna be given to me.

933
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 10: I don't like that place.

934
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:00,839
Speaker 16: I don't like to feel that, so fight like hell

935
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 16: to try to not feel that, by repering, by doing

936
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 16: everything I need to do to not feel that.

937
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 10: It's almost like.

938
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 16: When you grow up in the projects and you grow

939
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 16: up in poverty, you don't want that anymore, Like you

940
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 16: don't want that once you've lived and you've you know

941
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 16: you've earned a certain keep. You want to keep that

942
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 16: because you want to change generations in your in your family,

943
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 16: and I hope I'm able.

944
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:23,800
Speaker 4: To do that.

945
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 8: You seem like you've always been a natural born leader,

946
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 8: like throughout your whole life, even when you were the child.

947
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 8: So it made me wonder if if coaching never entered

948
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 8: your life, where do you think your leadership would have

949
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 8: shown up?

950
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 4: If that?

951
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 10: Oh man, that's a hard question.

952
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 16: Like I'm competitive, I probably would have been a losing gambler.

953
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 10: Try like trying, like I don't know. I mean, I do.

954
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,240
Speaker 16: I love kids, so my work would have been with kids.

955
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 16: And I'm glad that coaching found me. Like I'm glad

956
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 16: somebody saw something in me that I didn't see it myself.

957
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 16: I didn't see coaches. I didn't want to coach at all.

958
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 16: And I don't know why, because I had great coaches.

959
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 16: I had great people in my life that challenged me,

960
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 16: that were good at it. But when I had coaching friends,

961
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 16: the only thing they talked about were their teams in basketball.

962
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 10: And I'm like, yeah, this is what I do every day.

963
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 10: I do this every day.

964
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 16: Why would I want to talk about it every day?

965
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 16: Why would I want my life consume with it? And

966
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,320
Speaker 16: here I am, twenty five years later, like loving it,

967
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 16: like it's I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

968
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 16: And when you when you're able to live out your passion,

969
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 16: it's the most beautiful, liberating and incredible experience. I know

970
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 16: my players really get something out of our relationship. They do,

971
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 16: they get they build character, they navigate life. But for

972
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 16: me is I'm overjoyed when they graduate. I'm overjoyed on

973
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 16: draft night. I'm overjoyed when they're able to see their

974
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 16: hard work produce what they wanted, Like, even if they

975
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 16: don't make it to the league, they're equipped with being

976
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 16: successful with anything in it. Like, seriously, that does something

977
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 16: to my heart when young people were able to get

978
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:06,279
Speaker 16: what they're supposed to be.

979
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 8: You know, you talked about your players, You got a

980
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 8: lot of success stories from your time coaching at the

981
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 8: University of South Carolina.

982
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 2: But in the book, you make it no secret that

983
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 2: Asia Wish is your favorite.

984
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,919
Speaker 16: Well, I mean, I mean, here's why, And I don't

985
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 16: I've coached a lot of great players, Like Asia was

986
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 16: the very first player that was the number one play

987
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 16: in the country to decide she wanted to come play

988
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 16: for us, and I know it's in her backyard. And

989
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 16: we didn't We didn't look like a national championship team,

990
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 16: Like we never won a national we had never been

991
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 16: to the final four. So for her to trust us

992
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 16: with that part of her career meant that she believed

993
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 16: in us. She trusted us, she knew that we were

994
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 16: going to get her to where she needed to go.

995
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 16: As far as still being the number one draft pick,

996
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 16: like four years later, like when someone and it wasn't

997
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 16: just her, it was her entire family believed in it,

998
00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 16: and it took some at times them thinking did we

999
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 16: make the right decision?

1000
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 10: Because she did. She started her first game and then

1001
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 10: she was terrible, like scrub like right, scrub like scrub like.

1002
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 10: So I was like, I gotta gotta.

1003
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 16: Take you out of starting lineup. But I ain't even

1004
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 16: taught her that. I told her parents first, and her

1005
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 16: mom even was like you sure, like you're gonna have

1006
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,399
Speaker 16: to trust me on this one, Like You're just gonna

1007
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,359
Speaker 16: have to trust me, And she was like all right.

1008
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 16: But at the end of her freshman year, she was

1009
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 16: National Rookie of the Year, she was first team All SEC.

1010
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 16: She was Rookie of the Year in the SE's like

1011
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 16: she got all the accolades coming off the bench. And

1012
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 16: when someone as a coach and leader and mentored young

1013
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 16: people believe in you like they really do, when that's reciprocated.

1014
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 16: Because I believe that, I knew that she was going

1015
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:56,839
Speaker 16: to be the one that takes us to that next

1016
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 16: level when you're able to have the same synergy. You know,

1017
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 16: Asia was hell to deal with, right because she's young,

1018
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,280
Speaker 16: like she with the private school for like twelve years.

1019
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 16: All of her schooling was a private school, so she

1020
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 16: needed to be roughened up a little bit to get

1021
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 16: her ready for what she faced. Like she faces the

1022
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 16: critics right now, but I know she can handle them

1023
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 16: because we took her through all of that. Like she

1024
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,760
Speaker 16: had dyslexia right throughout her college career. And I'm like, Okay,

1025
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 16: you're going to read in front of the team every

1026
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 16: time we have a game because we have a like

1027
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:36,720
Speaker 16: a scripture reading and an inspirational reading before every pregame

1028
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 16: meal and there's somebody that has to read it.

1029
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 10: So I was like, you're gonna read that. It took

1030
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 10: her her senior year.

1031
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,839
Speaker 16: Couldn't do it the first second, the third her senior year,

1032
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 16: she read out loud.

1033
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 10: And she had fun with it.

1034
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,320
Speaker 16: She had, y'all, this is along, y'all gonna have to

1035
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 16: bear with me, Like it was that kind of liberation.

1036
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 16: So when she gave her entire self to me, the good,

1037
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 16: the bad, the ugly, higher you know, that's why I

1038
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 16: just have a really strong like relationship with her, Like

1039
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 16: she could tell me anything, like I'm non judgmental, Like

1040
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 16: young people won't want to tell you everything because they

1041
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 16: think you're gonna judge them.

1042
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 10: I don't judge.

1043
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 16: Like, there's nothing that any one of my current former

1044
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 16: future players can tell me that that's gonna rock me

1045
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,399
Speaker 16: that I haven't seen, like everybody's been through. Like there's

1046
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 16: no new problems. It's the same old, recycled problems. So

1047
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 16: just give it here so you're not dealing with it

1048
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 16: longer than you need to.

1049
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting record.

1050
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 8: I was watching you. You did Good Morning in America

1051
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 8: to view Kobe all of that stuff like that. So

1052
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 8: you was working, but I still know you still the

1053
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 8: coach at the University of South Carolina. But I was like, oh,

1054
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 8: you know what, she'll be fine because she used to

1055
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 8: play ball and coach at the same time, which I

1056
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 8: found out about.

1057
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 2: In the book. That was insane. Six years. That's crazy

1058
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 2: six years.

1059
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 16: I mean when I got into coaching, I was like

1060
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 16: in my prime, so you know the ad at the time,

1061
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 16: he kept asking me, like he was persistent, like I'm like, no, no,

1062
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 16: I'm not interested. I'm playing in a wnba is And

1063
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 16: then he just kept asking, and then I ended up

1064
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 16: having to go meet with him because the final four

1065
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 16: was in Philly, I'm from Philly. He knew I was

1066
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 16: going to be there, so I went and sat down

1067
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 16: with him and he asked me two questions. He was like,

1068
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 16: can you lead? Did you do your research? Did you

1069
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 16: like and I was like yeah, I basically was the

1070
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 16: captain on every team that I played on? Right, And

1071
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,720
Speaker 16: then he was like, can you turn Temple women's basketball

1072
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 16: program around?

1073
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 10: I was like, oh, is that a challenge?

1074
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 16: Like is that really a challenge because I'm drawing the

1075
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,399
Speaker 16: challenges and I never answered the question. I don't even

1076
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,359
Speaker 16: think I answered the question. He was like, hey, can

1077
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:42,240
Speaker 16: you just come down the hall and meet some people?

1078
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 16: So I was like, okay, I'm here. He took me

1079
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 16: in this conference room, sat me at the head of

1080
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 16: the table and they were like ten to twelve people

1081
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 16: sitting around this table and they're asking me questions like

1082
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 16: what do you see yourself in five years? I'm like

1083
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 16: playing in a WNBA And they were like, do you

1084
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 16: ever see yourself coaching?

1085
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 10: And I'm like no, y'all. They were interviewing me.

1086
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 16: I was on a job interview and I didn't know

1087
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 16: it because all my job interviews were tryouts, like basketball

1088
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 16: like physical tryouts. Needless to say, I took the job

1089
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 16: two weeks later, they just agreed to allow me to

1090
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 16: continue to play and coach. So I was in like

1091
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 16: basketball utopia because I was coaching and I'm actually still

1092
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 16: able to express myself on the court because I wasn't

1093
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 16: ready to hang up my shoes. I was still very

1094
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 16: much a player, and I think that allowed me to

1095
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 16: play a little bit longer than I wanted to, and

1096
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 16: that allowed me to keep staying fresh with what was

1097
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 16: up with teaching young people because they were more enthralled

1098
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 16: with me playing because that's what they wanted, like I

1099
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 16: was living.

1100
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 10: Their dream right before their very eyes.

1101
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 16: And I think it just helped me be a better coach,

1102
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:58,760
Speaker 16: be a more understanding coach because I was a player

1103
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 16: receiving information from a coach, and then I just helped

1104
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 16: the dynamics of what I was doing.

1105
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 4: Now.

1106
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask about your father, right.

1107
00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:09,760
Speaker 1: You mentioned your father earlier and you said your relationship

1108
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 1: wasn't that great, but you said it got better over

1109
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 1: the years. Do you understand some of the things that

1110
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: your father was trying to implement in you as a

1111
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: young girl, because they said that your father looked at

1112
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: women's basketball and felt that wasn't too many opportunities and

1113
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 1: didn't know if you could sustain at that time. And

1114
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: do you wish that you kind of put yourself in

1115
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: his mentality back then as a child, because even with

1116
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: the name of the book, it says basketball in North

1117
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 1: Philly my mother but not my father.

1118
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 16: Explain, no, no, no, you know, I think I think

1119
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 16: even the one like family members that are that are

1120
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 16: closest to you, Yes, I thought, I, Yes, I should

1121
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 16: have had had a much more mature outlook on that

1122
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 16: relationship now that you can reflect on it, now that

1123
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 16: you can see because I held that and I you know,

1124
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 16: if you could hear you, I still that instance. But

1125
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:06,239
Speaker 16: when you're coaching, right, you come into a situation where

1126
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 16: you hurt a player, like you hurt that player that

1127
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 16: was like probably twelve years ago, I hurt that player

1128
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 16: like it drives me to not hurt other players. And

1129
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 16: I wasn't mature enough or savvy enough to handle that

1130
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 16: at twelve or thirteen. So I do think it's helped

1131
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 16: me be a better coach, It helps me be a

1132
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 16: better person to really like again, I didn't talk about

1133
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 16: things I held that my father probably didn't probably doesn't

1134
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 16: he's been dead and gone since two thousand and one, Like,

1135
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 16: I don't even think he really knew how much that

1136
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 16: hurt me.

1137
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 10: But also use that to navigate the nose, like I

1138
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 10: handle those a lot better because of that.

1139
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 8: I love to respect the power of habits chapter And

1140
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:56,800
Speaker 8: in that chapter, you speak extremely highly of South Carolina's

1141
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 8: on Malaysia for a while, and you even refer to

1142
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,839
Speaker 8: her as a young, good, savvyer version of you. You say,

1143
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 8: this is a quote I heard from so many adults

1144
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 8: who gave their own parents hell, only to see that

1145
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 8: teenagers return to favor. Now it's my turn in the bottle.

1146
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 8: So when I see you had when I read that,

1147
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 8: and I was like, she had so much love for Malaysia.

1148
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 8: What was your initial reaction when she decided to enter

1149
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 8: the portal? And was it surprising to you?

1150
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 10: Surprising?

1151
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 17: No?

1152
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 16: I think you know, being in this space, you become

1153
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 16: to expect the unexpected, right, I still have much love

1154
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 16: for Malisia, like much love, like I want to happy.

1155
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 10: She and a mom came in. She said, I think

1156
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 10: I'm want to get into the transfer portal.

1157
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,360
Speaker 16: So I'm like, okay, well you think or you know,

1158
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,799
Speaker 16: And she said, I know, and I said, well, only

1159
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 16: want you happy, Like I really do, only want our

1160
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 16: players happy, whether that's with us or somewhere else.

1161
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 4: Just be happy.

1162
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 16: I told her, don't look back. I know it's probably

1163
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 16: gonna be hard to not look back to see you know,

1164
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 16: you leaving your hometown and all that. I said, don't

1165
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 16: look back like you made this decision. Just go forward

1166
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:02,320
Speaker 16: with it and don't look back. You're always gonna be

1167
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 16: a game cock, You're always gonna be welcomed here. I

1168
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,959
Speaker 16: wish her the best. And when I say that, people

1169
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 16: probably think, oh, but I do, like I really do, like,

1170
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 16: cause I am what's for us is for us, what's

1171
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 16: not it was not.

1172
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,360
Speaker 10: Let's keep moving. I don't stay in despair.

1173
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:22,320
Speaker 16: I don't stay in those spaces for very long. I'm like, Okay,

1174
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 16: we gotta get recruiting. We gotta get back into this

1175
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 16: portal to see who we can get to help us.

1176
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 16: I think she's gonna have a promising career. I do

1177
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,439
Speaker 16: think she's a generational talent that will never leave.

1178
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:33,800
Speaker 17: Like.

1179
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 16: She does things on the basketball court that I've never

1180
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 16: seen a woman do, and she's she'll continue to do

1181
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,760
Speaker 16: that and will continue to be happy for her except

1182
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:45,839
Speaker 16: the one or two times that we have to play

1183
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:46,279
Speaker 16: them like.

1184
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 10: It's on, like it's this. She's gonna be super competitive

1185
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 10: against us.

1186
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 16: We're gonna we're gonna want to win, and it's gonna

1187
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 16: be a pride thing that comes with just being a competitor.

1188
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,760
Speaker 10: And we got much love for her and the family.

1189
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:00,359
Speaker 1: Now this this has nothing to do with the boat,

1190
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 1: but I wanted to ask us were talking about players.

1191
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: You know, WNBA has taken a huge jump in the

1192
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 1: last couple of years and I love it. My daughters

1193
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,839
Speaker 1: love it, my sons love it. What do you think

1194
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: what's going on in the WNBA with it? It seems

1195
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 1: like they're pitting you know, Caitlyn Clark against angel Reaes right,

1196
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 1: kind of what they did in the NBA back in

1197
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 1: the day.

1198
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 2: But it was more teams, right, I guess not maybe

1199
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,359
Speaker 2: not teams. It was Magic Bird.

1200
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 1: This one is that one, But this one it just

1201
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,839
Speaker 1: seems like it seems very personable. So what are your thoughts,

1202
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,400
Speaker 1: Like even the other day with that foul and they

1203
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 1: called it a flagrant foul, I don't necessarily agree, but

1204
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on it?

1205
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 4: Well?

1206
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 16: I think the officiating has a hard job. That's one

1207
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 16: the decipher whether or not that's a flagrant one or not.

1208
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 10: Hard job. And I do think they understand the dynamics

1209
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 10: of Angel and Caitlyn.

1210
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 4: I do.

1211
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 16: I think it's great for our game because it's like Burke, Yeah,

1212
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 16: like it's a sport. Treat us like a sport. Don't

1213
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:53,240
Speaker 16: treat us anything other than being a sport. It happens

1214
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 16: in every sport, Soccer, basketball, football, it happens in every sport.

1215
00:52:57,880 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 10: So let it be.

1216
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:02,360
Speaker 16: I'm gonna I'm gonna take the lead of Angel and Caitlin.

1217
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 16: And that lead is they said it was a it

1218
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 16: was a file. The officials got it right. We're moving on.

1219
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 10: That's what I'm Saying'm gonna take their lead.

1220
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 4: Okay.

1221
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 10: I think it's it pulls people in.

1222
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 16: I do think there are new fans that haven't watched

1223
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 16: our game and they really don't know so they only

1224
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 16: they're only singlely focused on Kate one, right, right, So

1225
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 16: when you're that and that's that's their idol, that's who

1226
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 16: attracts them. But I just hope that they'll open their

1227
00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 16: eyes to the rest of the talent that is there.

1228
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 10: Like the product. The product is incredible, like and it's

1229
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 10: in high demand.

1230
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 16: We played Caitlin in the National Championship last year, right,

1231
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 16: twenty million A topped off at whatever.

1232
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 10: It topped off at the most. I know they saw

1233
00:53:50,840 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 10: us like I.

1234
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 16: Know they saw us. I know they saw us have

1235
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 16: an undefeated season. I know they saw Camilla Cardozo. I

1236
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,800
Speaker 16: know they saw Ashton Watchase. I know they saw Tessa

1237
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 16: Johnson have an incredible care career or day. I know

1238
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,800
Speaker 16: they saw my Lasier do some incredible things like so,

1239
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 16: so open your eyes up to seeing outside of Caitlin,

1240
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 16: well not even outside included, because she's a part of

1241
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 16: a part of it all.

1242
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,280
Speaker 10: So you know, I'm looking.

1243
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 16: Forward to the next time they play too. I'm gonna

1244
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 16: be glueden just like everybody else.

1245
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,240
Speaker 8: Yes, I want to go back to that that chapter

1246
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 8: of respect, the power of habits right when you talk

1247
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 8: about Malaysia, it is with such reference. How do you

1248
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 8: balance disappointment as a coach with support for somebody like

1249
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 8: her who just wanted to make a decision for herself.

1250
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 10: If a young person is going to speak on what

1251
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 10: they deem, it is good for them.

1252
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 16: That's half the battle, like half the battles to be

1253
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 16: able to speak up and you know how hard it

1254
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 16: was for her to do that, like really hard, really hard.

1255
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:52,840
Speaker 16: So I understand that dynamics of her decision making. And

1256
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 16: then it's like, okay, well what do you do with it?

1257
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 16: Like if she was my player and there was a

1258
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 16: chance for her to want to come back, or if

1259
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 16: she decided that this is that, that's not what she

1260
00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 16: wanted to do, I was gonna talk to her about why, why,

1261
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 16: why did it come to that? What makes you think

1262
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 16: this isn't a place for whatever? She said we would

1263
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,160
Speaker 16: we would go from there. I thought Malaysia. Malaysia was

1264
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 16: getting better, like I really, I saw a whole lot

1265
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,720
Speaker 16: of growth on and off the court to where unless

1266
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 16: she was gonna get the best of her now, Like

1267
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 16: we went through the you know, we went through the

1268
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,240
Speaker 16: hard part of just kind of smoothing some rough edges

1269
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 16: and getting her to create good habits, like like I

1270
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 16: do think habits.

1271
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 10: Are the thing that allows you to elevate, right, I do.

1272
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 16: So I think I think what we've given her and

1273
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:46,480
Speaker 16: what she's given us will allow her to have much

1274
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 16: better days, much more consistent.

1275
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,759
Speaker 10: Days than she had with us at her next stop, Well,

1276
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 10: thank you.

1277
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 8: Don new book uncommon favor of basketball in North Philly,

1278
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 8: my mother, and the life lessons I learned from all

1279
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,840
Speaker 8: three is available everywhere you buy books.

1280
00:55:58,880 --> 00:55:59,800
Speaker 2: Now go get it.

1281
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 8: You are guaranteed to learn something you are living done.

1282
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 8: We appreciate your presence on this earth. We thank God

1283
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:06,320
Speaker 8: for you.

1284
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 10: Thank you, thank you.

1285
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 2: It's the breakfast Club. Good morning, Damn he did. It's

1286
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:16,760
Speaker 2: time for donkey, I mean, trying to be donky today.

1287
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 4: No more.

1288
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,399
Speaker 2: They should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm

1289
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 2: not making new people do these.

1290
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:23,439
Speaker 10: Things called donkey of the day, and it really caught

1291
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 10: me off guard.

1292
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,720
Speaker 16: Damn son, who got the donkey out of the day today?

1293
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 8: Well, just hilarious donkey todayve goes to a twenty year

1294
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:33,439
Speaker 8: old New Jersey man named Edward Kane.

1295
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 2: Yes, like the Conqueror King.

1296
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 8: Okay, he is facing an attempted murder charge after allegedly

1297
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:42,799
Speaker 8: got to say, allegedly flying to Florida, impressing somebody who

1298
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,760
Speaker 8: was talking crazy on the internet.

1299
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 2: In my mind, I'm all for this.

1300
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 8: Okay, because you should not be able to talk reckless

1301
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 8: from the comfort of your own home and not get

1302
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 8: approached about it.

1303
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 2: Okay, that's the problem. With the Internet.

1304
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 8: People think they can say any damn thing because they

1305
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 8: never got punched in their face for saying any damn thing. Well,

1306
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 8: Edward Cane is a gamer, okay, and he is now

1307
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 8: facing an attempted murder charge after flying to Florida and

1308
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 8: attacking a fellow gamer with a hammer over an online dispute.

1309
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,160
Speaker 2: Let's go to the First Coast New thirty p police.

1310
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 17: There's some things that make me say, what in the

1311
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 17: world was he thinking?

1312
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 3: That's reaction after twenty year old Edward King flew from

1313
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 3: New Jersey to Jacksonville, Florida, and attacked a man he

1314
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 3: argued with during an online game called Archage. Police say

1315
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 3: King bought a hammer at a hardware store and then

1316
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 3: went to the victim's home in Fernandina Beach around two

1317
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 3: am Sunday. The door was unlocked, according to investigators, and

1318
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 3: the victim was playing a game in his room but

1319
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 3: took a break to use the bathroom.

1320
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 17: Once he opened the door, he noticed the suspect standing

1321
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 17: with a hammer raised in the air in an anticipated

1322
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 17: strike position. Suspect was wearing all black gloves.

1323
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 4: And a mask.

1324
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 3: This is the hammer King used in the attack. The

1325
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 3: victim fought back, and the victim's stepdad was awoken by

1326
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 3: this sounds. He then helped the victim hold King until

1327
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 3: police arrived.

1328
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 17: The suspect asked our deputy, how much time in jail

1329
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 17: do you get for breaking an enterim and assault? And

1330
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 17: I would say, mister Kane, it's gonna be a long

1331
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 17: time before you play video games again.

1332
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 2: Burn Burn more details if you're wondering.

1333
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 8: Edward Kane told his family he was going to meet

1334
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 8: a friend he met years ago through the online video

1335
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 8: game arch Age, which will no longer be accessible in

1336
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 8: the United States because of the declining number of back

1337
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 8: to players. So he flew from Newark to Jacksonville, went

1338
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 8: to a hotel near the victim's home, purchased a hammer

1339
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 8: and a flashlight at a hardware store.

1340
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 2: I'm shocked he just didn't buy a gun.

1341
00:58:39,120 --> 00:58:41,439
Speaker 8: Okay, Floyda don't require a permit to buy a gun,

1342
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 8: nor is there a permit that exists any person from

1343
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 8: the background check requirement.

1344
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 2: So the moral of the story is, you could have

1345
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 2: bought a different type of hammer, Edward, but thank god

1346
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 2: he didn't. Now how did he get to Addie? I

1347
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 2: don't know.

1348
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 8: This sounds to me like the other online gave it

1349
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,440
Speaker 8: must have dropped the location because he thought he couldn't

1350
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 8: be touched, and Edward Kane said stop hammer time. Now,

1351
00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 8: I'm gonna tell you something. This is very ninja like it.

1352
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,880
Speaker 8: When I say ninja, I'm not using that as a

1353
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 8: substitute for the N word. I'm talking actual ninjas, like

1354
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 8: teenage mutant turtles, like a person skilled in the Japanese

1355
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 8: art of ninjitsu, okay, wearing all black, black gloves, black masks,

1356
00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 8: sneaking in the unlocked dogs, waiting to tell dude, waiting

1357
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 8: un till dude got up to go to the bathroom,

1358
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 8: and then attacking him with a hammer.

1359
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 2: Now, the victim was the.

1360
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:22,440
Speaker 8: Same age as Edward King, twenty years old, and he

1361
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 8: was as you heard, you know. He was able to

1362
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 8: wrestle Edward to the ground, and stepfather woke up and

1363
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 8: they were able to take the hammo away Florida. I

1364
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 8: gotta say, man, y'all getting soft, okay, y'all letting people

1365
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 8: fly from out of state to Florida, arms with nothing

1366
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 8: but a tool, breaking in y'all houses, attacking y'all and

1367
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 8: nobody getting shot. I have zero remorse for individuals who

1368
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 8: breaking the other individual's houses. If you are bold enough

1369
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 8: to break into my sanctuary of peace, then guess what

1370
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:47,959
Speaker 8: you will rest in that piece.

1371
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:49,760
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't care how old you are.

1372
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 8: I'm not asking for no damn id. When you're breaking

1373
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 8: to my place of residence for any reason. You're breaking

1374
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 8: the people's houses when they are at home, you deserve

1375
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 8: to get whatever comes with that, even if it's deaf. Now,

1376
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 8: you heard the sheriff say they asked Kan what his

1377
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 8: motive was, and he allegedly told deputies that the victim

1378
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 8: is a bad person online. Well guess what, Edward, you

1379
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 8: have grown to be a bad person in real life. Okay,

1380
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 8: there's nothing this person said to you online that equates

1381
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 8: to you receiving second degree murder in arm burglary charges. Now,

1382
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 8: Edward Kan, you know you heard him ask the officer.

1383
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 8: You know how much jail time do you receive from

1384
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:26,400
Speaker 8: breaking and entering? An officer said, I would say, mister King,

1385
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,040
Speaker 8: will be a long time before you play.

1386
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 2: Video games ever. Again. I like that kind of petty.

1387
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:33,920
Speaker 8: This is a prime example of why you have to

1388
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 8: learn from the mistakes of others. Okay, Edward King did

1389
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 8: what so many of us have wanted to do. Okay,

1390
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 8: pulled up on someone talking reckless online and beat the

1391
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 8: mother loving ass.

1392
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 2: That was a beet.

1393
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:51,800
Speaker 8: Edit, I'll beat your mother loving ass. Why can't I

1394
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 8: love my mother? Even though it may sound good, I'm

1395
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 8: gonna roll up on him and beat his ass. At

1396
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 8: the end of the day, it's not good.

1397
01:00:58,760 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 2: Okay.

1398
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 8: This twenty year old the second degree murder charge and

1399
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:04,479
Speaker 8: a burglary charge, and you know. Sheriff Bill Leeper said

1400
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 8: this incident serves as a stark reminder of the potential

1401
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 8: real world consequences of online interaction.

1402
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 2: I don't encourage behavior like Edward Kan, but.

1403
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:15,680
Speaker 8: I understand it, and I truly believe folks should talk

1404
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:18,080
Speaker 8: to people online the way you do in the real world,

1405
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 8: because you just never know. Disrespect the wrong person and

1406
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 8: they may be maybe at your front door dressed in

1407
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,440
Speaker 8: all black like the omen. Next thing you know your

1408
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,960
Speaker 8: friends is singing this is for my homie. Please let

1409
01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 8: remy ma give Edward Kang the biggest he haw.

1410
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 10: He haw he ha, You stupid mother?

1411
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 2: Are you dumb?

1412
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 4: Now?

1413
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 2: There's nothing left to do but play a game of

1414
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:39,960
Speaker 2: guess what raise it?

1415
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,000
Speaker 8: Edward Kan, twenty years old, from Newark, New Jersey, flew

1416
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 8: from Newarton, New Jersey, to Jacksonville, Florida, and beat up

1417
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 8: a man who was talking spicy online dj NB.

1418
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 10: Guess what is.

1419
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 4: Damn?

1420
01:01:55,120 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 2: It's a tough onec go black, that's why? Tell me

1421
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 2: why because he was dressed in all wow.

1422
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: No no no, because sometimes you push people too much.

1423
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 1: And you said Newark, New Jersey, So I forgure Newark

1424
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:17,120
Speaker 1: is predominantly black. Right he flew out there, and is

1425
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 1: it beat the guy's ass?

1426
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 2: Okay, well I figured that, Okay, just hilarious.

1427
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 8: Edward Came twenty years old, flew from Newark, New Jersey

1428
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:26,520
Speaker 8: to Jacksonville, Florida, and beat up a man who was

1429
01:02:26,560 --> 01:02:27,600
Speaker 8: talking spikes for online.

1430
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 1: Yes what racious Asian wop and comingdam start.

1431
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 18: My last name is came and then Newark has been gentrified,

1432
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 18: still being gentrified.

1433
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:42,280
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's being gentrified that much?

1434
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 7: Is it?

1435
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 4: He is me? I don't know.

1436
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 18: You don't know a lot of different races coming through that.

1437
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 1: The only thing is I see black people aint gonna

1438
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 1: waste their money flying into Florida to beat somebody.

1439
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 2: Your damn line, he's expensive. Now I'm just saying I'm

1440
01:02:57,280 --> 01:03:00,760
Speaker 2: thinking about myself. But yeah, yeah, well but the Asians,

1441
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 2: you know, they be having points.

1442
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 8: One of your one of y'all is correct, one of

1443
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 8: y'all is dead wrong. Okay, d j Envy, you are

1444
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 8: dead wrong.

1445
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:10,360
Speaker 2: Just Alias, you.

1446
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,320
Speaker 10: Are absolutely correct Edward Kang is.

1447
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 4: Yes.

1448
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:25,160
Speaker 2: Oh you said Kang. Yes, he said king Kang Hang. No,

1449
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 2: you know damn that sounds like you said king. I

1450
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 2: said king like the conqueror. I ain't say king like

1451
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:31,360
Speaker 2: Martin Luther.

1452
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 10: Yeah, king like lu King.

1453
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 2: That's right exactly.

1454
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 18: And I know his first name is not Edward, but

1455
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 18: you know, they get like different names when they come

1456
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 18: over here because it may be something else that we

1457
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:41,600
Speaker 18: don't can't pronounce.

1458
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 2: Gave a little hint during the donkey, but y'all just

1459
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 2: wasn't paying.

1460
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 8: I'm not gonna say because I don't know if it's racist,

1461
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,520
Speaker 8: is not something, but you'll hear it if you listen

1462
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:49,920
Speaker 8: back to it.

1463
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, but I think there's no way you just

1464
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 2: got that one out the blue? Can you context clues?

1465
01:03:58,040 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 4: And he.

1466
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:02,200
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna play family food with you.

1467
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,760
Speaker 1: Then you know the you know the clues, all right,

1468
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:07,480
Speaker 1: it's the breakfast Club good morning, morning everybody. It's DJ

1469
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 1: n V, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne to God. We are the

1470
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:13,360
Speaker 1: breakfast Club Lonla Ross here as well. We got a

1471
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 1: special guest in the.

1472
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:17,600
Speaker 2: Building man, another culture like we having a weaker culture like.

1473
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 1: Con Ai, Alan Chuck, whatever you want to call him.

1474
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 2: M'ster seven five seven. He's in the building.

1475
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 1: New book Misunderstood is out right now traveling obviously, Ladies

1476
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:28,840
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, are you feeling, man?

1477
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 4: Good life?

1478
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 1: Life be life in the same fight, different round for west.

1479
01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 1: How much sound we got as much as you like

1480
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:41,000
Speaker 1: me because I don't know where it's gonna go. But look, man, friends,

1481
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 1: all right, so I know you know what type of

1482
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,680
Speaker 1: I mean. I'm just mean, Jess, But you know, you

1483
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: know how you get to know somebody from afar and

1484
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:52,640
Speaker 1: you get basically kind of tell what type of person

1485
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 1: they are.

1486
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.

1487
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:56,640
Speaker 1: Obviously I've known you since I was in high school

1488
01:04:57,400 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 1: and big fan of you. Both friendships. Man, It's hard

1489
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:05,840
Speaker 1: because when you think about your friends, obviously you know

1490
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 1: you can't choose your family members, you know what I mean,

1491
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:11,600
Speaker 1: You're boring into that, But your friends, you feel like

1492
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 1: y'all got so much in common with each other, and

1493
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 1: you have so much love for them because you know

1494
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:20,080
Speaker 1: they're kind of like a basically a reflection of you,

1495
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:23,240
Speaker 1: or you got the same type of things in common

1496
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:25,959
Speaker 1: or whatever, and you just grow to love them like family.

1497
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,840
Speaker 1: They become you know, the guys become brothers, and your

1498
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 1: homegirls become your sisters.

1499
01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 4: But it's rough man navigating through that, you know what

1500
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:35,880
Speaker 4: I mean.

1501
01:05:35,920 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 1: I know how much I love my family, my friends.

1502
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 1: I got so much flack when I first got into

1503
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:42,200
Speaker 1: the league, you know.

1504
01:05:42,160 --> 01:05:42,520
Speaker 4: What I mean.

1505
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:46,160
Speaker 1: It was the entourage, bring you homeboys from where you're from.

1506
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,920
Speaker 1: You trust them so much, you love them. You want

1507
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 1: them to go on the ride with you. You want

1508
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:53,600
Speaker 1: them to take this journey, you know through it.

1509
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 4: It's new to me.

1510
01:05:54,720 --> 01:05:57,480
Speaker 1: I've been poor all my whole life, and then snap

1511
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 1: of a finger, I'm rich and famous and it's a lot,

1512
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:02,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

1513
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 4: So you want to have so many people around you

1514
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 4: that you love me and you trust you know what

1515
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 4: I mean, And the money man just you know what

1516
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:13,920
Speaker 4: I mean. It's just you know what I mean.

1517
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 1: And it's so different from me, and it's so hard

1518
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 1: for me because with my athletic ability that I was

1519
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:25,240
Speaker 1: blessed with. I've been like this since I was eight

1520
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 1: years old. Like I always felt that I was rich,

1521
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,800
Speaker 1: but I was poor. I always been famous, you know

1522
01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:33,120
Speaker 1: what I mean. When I was eight years old, I

1523
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 1: go into barbershop and guys seventeen, eighteen, twenty twenty five

1524
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:40,320
Speaker 1: years old, guys like, oh, there you go. You know

1525
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:43,040
Speaker 1: that's the one right there, that's him. So it's always

1526
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:45,440
Speaker 1: been that for me. I always had that attention, you

1527
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:47,280
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I always been like that.

1528
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:48,600
Speaker 11: You know.

1529
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:52,440
Speaker 4: Once I got some money, it was no different from me.

1530
01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:54,360
Speaker 1: Obviously I could do things with my family and my

1531
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:56,320
Speaker 1: friends that I couldn't do before.

1532
01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:58,560
Speaker 4: You know that goes without saying.

1533
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:04,440
Speaker 1: Man, the painful lessons of friends not being who you

1534
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:07,560
Speaker 1: think they they are when you add.

1535
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:11,600
Speaker 4: The were all evil anything something just recently happened. Definitely,

1536
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:12,720
Speaker 4: it happens all the time.

1537
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 1: But I feel a pendulum swinging in another direction as

1538
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,560
Speaker 1: far as how I feel about it, Like how it

1539
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:22,480
Speaker 1: used to hurt me, you know what I mean. You

1540
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 1: you tell someone you want to find out if somebody

1541
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 1: your friend, you tell them no one and their reaction

1542
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 1: with what was said all you know what I mean

1543
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:37,400
Speaker 1: chuck a man, I got a business, you know, opportunity.

1544
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,600
Speaker 1: I want to start this. I want to start that.

1545
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 1: Man can give me a hundred thousand and you don't

1546
01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:44,200
Speaker 1: even have to tell them no.

1547
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:47,480
Speaker 4: You can say not right now. You know later on.

1548
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 1: But these are the same people pay their rent, pay

1549
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 1: that over the years, child support, you know, pay your

1550
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 1: mom rent.

1551
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:56,000
Speaker 4: You know this that.

1552
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 1: Every time you go to a jewelry store, you taking them,

1553
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,640
Speaker 1: you know, because the most awkward feeling is I don't

1554
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:07,080
Speaker 1: want to be shining and looking good and my homeboys not.

1555
01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:09,360
Speaker 1: So when I go see Manny, you know what I mean,

1556
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:11,520
Speaker 1: they going You know what I mean? When I get cars,

1557
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 1: they get cars, you know what I mean. Like and

1558
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:19,840
Speaker 1: it's just like when you tell them no, the way

1559
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:22,559
Speaker 1: they you know they act. You know, somebody saying this, yo, man,

1560
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 1: what's up with your man?

1561
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:25,320
Speaker 4: They are? You know what's up with a man?

1562
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:28,559
Speaker 2: Dangn you know what I mean? Like after reading your book,

1563
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:29,360
Speaker 2: nobody's your question.

1564
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:29,800
Speaker 4: You're loyal.

1565
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,679
Speaker 1: You'll ever say you took care of me. I'm telling

1566
01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:34,719
Speaker 1: you what you've seen. But do you regret that? Because

1567
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:38,479
Speaker 1: I mean, Virginia, that's you everywhere.

1568
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:40,639
Speaker 4: That's where I say, depending on is swinging.

1569
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:43,280
Speaker 1: That's what That's why I say or feel that my

1570
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:48,559
Speaker 1: maturation is on a higher level now because back then,

1571
01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:53,760
Speaker 1: when something uh traumatic will happen to me like that,

1572
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:56,800
Speaker 1: and I see how they act for me telling them no,

1573
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:01,439
Speaker 1: I feel myself not giving the damn anymore.

1574
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:02,599
Speaker 4: Like you know what I mean.

1575
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 8: Even in the book, there's nobody that felt like that

1576
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:08,519
Speaker 8: was around you that didn't help you in some way,

1577
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:09,120
Speaker 8: shape or form.

1578
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:10,880
Speaker 2: So you was repaying them.

1579
01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:12,160
Speaker 8: Like you talk about how when you was in jail,

1580
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:13,720
Speaker 8: they was taking care of your mom, and they were

1581
01:09:13,760 --> 01:09:16,040
Speaker 8: the ones that would tell you, you know, you know,

1582
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:17,880
Speaker 8: you're not gonna be hustling, You're gonna be playing ball.

1583
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:19,720
Speaker 8: So it wasn't like you just had a bunch of

1584
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,360
Speaker 8: leeches around. There was people that looked out for you,

1585
01:09:22,439 --> 01:09:23,439
Speaker 8: so you look back out for them.

1586
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:26,120
Speaker 1: You know what, if I look out for one of

1587
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:30,040
Speaker 1: my homeboys, my homegirls, I don't expect you to give

1588
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:31,800
Speaker 1: it back, you know what I mean. I ain't never

1589
01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:33,920
Speaker 1: asked for nothing back, you know what I mean. I

1590
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:37,400
Speaker 1: just feel like me being ahead of a snake. The

1591
01:09:37,479 --> 01:09:41,439
Speaker 1: perfect example is like me being on twenty one team

1592
01:09:41,560 --> 01:09:44,400
Speaker 1: went to the finals. I'm the killer everybody know that

1593
01:09:44,760 --> 01:09:46,639
Speaker 1: this is the guy gonna put the ball in the basket.

1594
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:50,000
Speaker 4: This is what he do. Now what we do is

1595
01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:50,800
Speaker 4: compliment him.

1596
01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 1: We do everything else all his deficiencies and things that

1597
01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:56,760
Speaker 1: he can't do on the defensive end that you know

1598
01:09:57,520 --> 01:10:00,360
Speaker 1: of the court. You know he's leading the league and deals,

1599
01:10:00,439 --> 01:10:02,920
Speaker 1: yeah after year, but you got to gamble and when

1600
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:05,840
Speaker 1: he gambled, the ken Bay is there to make sure

1601
01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:06,240
Speaker 1: I'm good.

1602
01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:09,120
Speaker 4: The O is there, the block shots, make sure I'm good.

1603
01:10:09,680 --> 01:10:11,559
Speaker 1: They could do all of the things that I couldn't

1604
01:10:11,560 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 1: do it and that's what that's what made Voltron, you

1605
01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:16,240
Speaker 1: know what I mean. You put all those things together,

1606
01:10:16,680 --> 01:10:18,439
Speaker 1: and that I was. It was me and a bunch

1607
01:10:18,479 --> 01:10:20,479
Speaker 1: of dogs, you know what I mean. And it's the

1608
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,519
Speaker 1: same thing with my friendship. Yeah, he's the guy.

1609
01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:25,200
Speaker 4: People look at him another way. So I have a role.

1610
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:27,439
Speaker 4: You know, I have to do this. This is my part.

1611
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:28,720
Speaker 4: This is what I have to do.

1612
01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:31,320
Speaker 8: Another thing too, And maybe this could be part of

1613
01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:33,800
Speaker 8: what you're feeling right now. It seemed like the whole

1614
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:34,800
Speaker 8: team had a dream.

1615
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:35,120
Speaker 2: It wasn't.

1616
01:10:35,439 --> 01:10:37,720
Speaker 8: It wasn't you supposed to get on in basketball. You're

1617
01:10:37,720 --> 01:10:39,599
Speaker 8: supposed to get on in basketball. And everybody was supposed

1618
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:41,240
Speaker 8: to make it in rap so everybody was supposed to

1619
01:10:41,240 --> 01:10:41,800
Speaker 8: be doing their own thing.

1620
01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:44,920
Speaker 1: I didn't have the I didn't have the lebron James

1621
01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:49,280
Speaker 1: crue Ma Rich. I didn't have that blueprint, you know

1622
01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:51,080
Speaker 1: what I mean. I'm like, look, we're gonna get in

1623
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,000
Speaker 1: when we fit in, you know what I mean. Like,

1624
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:55,439
Speaker 1: I had one of my homeboys tell me, like, I'm

1625
01:10:55,479 --> 01:10:57,240
Speaker 1: going to work every day, working every day.

1626
01:10:57,280 --> 01:10:59,680
Speaker 4: Mas's supposed to be a superstar by now, you know

1627
01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:01,360
Speaker 4: what I mean, you know, going to work.

1628
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:04,479
Speaker 1: I'm like, like I've had incidents like you know, I'm

1629
01:11:04,520 --> 01:11:06,080
Speaker 1: getting ready to go on the road and it was

1630
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:06,639
Speaker 1: a casino.

1631
01:11:07,439 --> 01:11:09,160
Speaker 4: I go to the bank, I get fifty thousand.

1632
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:15,400
Speaker 1: They got thirty thousand and large and twenty thousand and

1633
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:19,040
Speaker 1: you know, twenties. And I'm getting on the plane. My

1634
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 1: man come, I give him the twenty thousand. He looked

1635
01:11:21,479 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 1: at it like it was something wrong with it because

1636
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:24,360
Speaker 1: it was all twenties.

1637
01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:27,000
Speaker 4: You know what i mean. I'm like, Yo, did this

1638
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:27,800
Speaker 4: you know?

1639
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:28,160
Speaker 7: Really?

1640
01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:31,120
Speaker 4: Just did that really just happened? You know what I mean?

1641
01:11:31,840 --> 01:11:35,599
Speaker 1: And it's like you can you're thinking you're doing what's right,

1642
01:11:36,120 --> 01:11:40,080
Speaker 1: but you only you're not holding people accountable. You being

1643
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:42,240
Speaker 1: a crutch for him. It's like putting a band aid

1644
01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:44,360
Speaker 1: on something, you know what I mean. You're not stitching

1645
01:11:44,439 --> 01:11:46,479
Speaker 1: it up, you know what I mean, not stapling it up,

1646
01:11:46,960 --> 01:11:49,519
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And they always feel like that,

1647
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But like the hurtful part

1648
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:58,040
Speaker 1: is the response of actually saying no. Aaron Aaron McKey

1649
01:11:58,120 --> 01:12:00,960
Speaker 1: told me, he said, Chuck, just you know what I mean.

1650
01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:03,320
Speaker 1: When you when you're cutting your grass, you know what

1651
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:05,439
Speaker 1: I mean, and you getting them snakes out of there,

1652
01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:07,280
Speaker 1: let them ask you for something and tell them no,

1653
01:12:07,960 --> 01:12:09,400
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I think I'm doing

1654
01:12:09,479 --> 01:12:11,920
Speaker 1: a great job of cutting it. But you still got

1655
01:12:12,720 --> 01:12:15,760
Speaker 1: a little small you know. The snakes might be gone,

1656
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:18,320
Speaker 1: but some worms in there, some small.

1657
01:12:20,400 --> 01:12:22,479
Speaker 8: You know. Right now it's Charles Barkley and a whole

1658
01:12:22,520 --> 01:12:24,240
Speaker 8: bunch of people saying we was trying to tell him

1659
01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:25,080
Speaker 8: this thirty.

1660
01:12:26,439 --> 01:12:28,880
Speaker 4: Like. It's just like the basketball aspect of everything.

1661
01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 1: I ain't never think that I will retire there early,

1662
01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:34,880
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Man, I ain't never had

1663
01:12:34,920 --> 01:12:37,920
Speaker 1: no back up playing Like growing up, once my mom

1664
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:39,640
Speaker 1: told me I could be anything I wanted to be.

1665
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,960
Speaker 4: I wanted to be a NBA basketball player, and that

1666
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:45,080
Speaker 4: was it. It was no, it was no b C. D.

1667
01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:47,280
Speaker 4: It was just that that one dream.

1668
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:47,920
Speaker 8: You know.

1669
01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:51,080
Speaker 1: Coach Thompson used to always tell me, you always listen

1670
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:55,120
Speaker 1: in to everybody else. You're always listening to somebody that's

1671
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:58,240
Speaker 1: never been to you know, from A to Z telling

1672
01:12:58,280 --> 01:12:59,040
Speaker 1: you how to get there.

1673
01:12:59,720 --> 01:13:01,040
Speaker 4: You know, you know what I mean. And that's what

1674
01:13:01,160 --> 01:13:01,439
Speaker 4: I was.

1675
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:05,240
Speaker 1: I had everybody that wasn't me and never had the

1676
01:13:05,360 --> 01:13:07,360
Speaker 1: experience telling me how to do it.

1677
01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:09,320
Speaker 8: I want to ask you about the title of the book, man,

1678
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:11,800
Speaker 8: do you think you were misunderstood that's the title of

1679
01:13:11,880 --> 01:13:14,560
Speaker 8: the book or did people outside of your circle just

1680
01:13:14,720 --> 01:13:16,760
Speaker 8: not take the time to understand you.

1681
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:22,880
Speaker 4: You're smart, dude, sometimes a lot. This is one of

1682
01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:25,360
Speaker 4: my favorite shows, so I you know, I see the

1683
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:26,479
Speaker 4: good days a bad days.

1684
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:36,320
Speaker 1: I watched Dame come up here. It's for real, it

1685
01:13:36,400 --> 01:13:39,439
Speaker 1: gets real. I think they can answer it better. My

1686
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:44,200
Speaker 1: perspective is they were learning on the fly to It's like,

1687
01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:48,640
Speaker 1: you know, with my documentary that's coming out, it was

1688
01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:50,080
Speaker 1: like three hours long.

1689
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:53,200
Speaker 4: I think I cried like two and a half hours

1690
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:54,840
Speaker 4: of I had to keep walking out of the theater.

1691
01:13:55,400 --> 01:13:57,639
Speaker 1: Because you think you know when it comes to people

1692
01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:59,400
Speaker 1: that love you, you think you know how they feel

1693
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:02,800
Speaker 1: about you know, turbulent times, you know what I mean,

1694
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:04,479
Speaker 1: And you think you know how your girl feel. You

1695
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,120
Speaker 1: think you know how your mom feel, your uncles, your aunts,

1696
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:10,840
Speaker 1: your homeboys, your homegirls. But then when they actually tell

1697
01:14:10,920 --> 01:14:14,720
Speaker 1: you from their point of view, how they felt, you know,

1698
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:17,679
Speaker 1: and how they looked at things, and how I didn't

1699
01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:21,400
Speaker 1: see how I was, how they had to try to

1700
01:14:21,439 --> 01:14:24,400
Speaker 1: address me with certain things, like you know, you driving

1701
01:14:24,479 --> 01:14:27,920
Speaker 1: the car, we we riding shotgun. And it's hard to

1702
01:14:28,040 --> 01:14:31,439
Speaker 1: tell somebody, you know, that's trying to live their life

1703
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,600
Speaker 1: what they should do and what they shouldn't do, you

1704
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:37,439
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like I'm twenty one years old,

1705
01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:39,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, when I got into the

1706
01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:43,439
Speaker 1: league at that age, Like you couldn't You couldn't tell

1707
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:46,160
Speaker 1: me nothing, you know what I'm saying, Like I'm here,

1708
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:49,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like the dress code, I'm like,

1709
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:53,440
Speaker 1: I dressed like the dudes, the drug dealers from my neighborhood.

1710
01:14:53,560 --> 01:14:57,920
Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm dressing like this because you know

1711
01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,320
Speaker 1: this is what I the old he is from my name,

1712
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,280
Speaker 1: but this is how they dressed.

1713
01:15:01,560 --> 01:15:02,920
Speaker 4: You know what I mean. I just couldn't afford it,

1714
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:04,760
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. My corn rolls.

1715
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:07,920
Speaker 1: I got corn rolls because I was tired of barber's

1716
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:10,000
Speaker 1: messing my hair. I'm like, damn, if I just grow

1717
01:15:10,080 --> 01:15:12,120
Speaker 1: my hair, you know, I ain't got to deal with that.

1718
01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:14,840
Speaker 4: You know. Tattoos just got addictive. I got one.

1719
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:16,400
Speaker 1: I couldn't afford him. I would have been got a

1720
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:19,360
Speaker 1: lot of My daddy was a hustler, you know what

1721
01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:21,640
Speaker 1: I mean. He was in the streets, my mom, in

1722
01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:24,120
Speaker 1: the streets, like I didn't.

1723
01:15:23,920 --> 01:15:26,799
Speaker 10: Have no sit you down and give you structure?

1724
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:28,240
Speaker 4: Is how you wasn't no.

1725
01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:30,880
Speaker 1: Coach Thompson then, you know what I mean. Wasn't those

1726
01:15:30,920 --> 01:15:33,479
Speaker 1: people They weren't in my life yet. So all of

1727
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:36,960
Speaker 1: all of that was where he was he was, But

1728
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:39,960
Speaker 1: it was it was he was there when I got

1729
01:15:40,439 --> 01:15:43,600
Speaker 1: to the NBA. Me and his phone calls was you know,

1730
01:15:44,200 --> 01:15:47,479
Speaker 1: we never talked about basketball, all right, Yeah, I'm just

1731
01:15:47,560 --> 01:15:50,200
Speaker 1: checking o how Swamna's good out of kids, you know

1732
01:15:50,240 --> 01:15:50,559
Speaker 1: what I mean?

1733
01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:51,040
Speaker 4: And that was it.

1734
01:15:51,840 --> 01:15:54,600
Speaker 1: He was allowing me and thinking he was preparing me

1735
01:15:55,360 --> 01:15:59,719
Speaker 1: at Georgetown for what was the inevitable me going.

1736
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:01,840
Speaker 4: To the lead. You can't prepare for that, bro.

1737
01:16:02,360 --> 01:16:05,280
Speaker 1: How was that pressure though? Because the nicest player, right?

1738
01:16:05,560 --> 01:16:08,840
Speaker 1: But you changed culture. But when you changed the culture,

1739
01:16:08,880 --> 01:16:11,639
Speaker 1: the NBA pushed back against it, but you never broke.

1740
01:16:11,720 --> 01:16:14,439
Speaker 1: You never folded, even though they could have said, they

1741
01:16:14,479 --> 01:16:16,200
Speaker 1: could have been AI said, now we don't want you

1742
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:16,800
Speaker 1: in our league.

1743
01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:18,040
Speaker 4: But you never folded.

1744
01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:20,040
Speaker 2: You never back down, and you kept it that way,

1745
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:23,160
Speaker 2: which hurt you at times. Why was that they profited

1746
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:23,599
Speaker 2: off of too?

1747
01:16:24,120 --> 01:16:25,760
Speaker 4: You know what I mean? I would be on.

1748
01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:27,439
Speaker 1: One of the things that hurt me is I was

1749
01:16:27,479 --> 01:16:30,439
Speaker 1: on a magazine. They wanted me on a magazine because

1750
01:16:30,439 --> 01:16:32,639
Speaker 1: of my talent and who I was, but they air

1751
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:35,479
Speaker 1: brushed my tattoos off. Well you want me, but you

1752
01:16:36,280 --> 01:16:39,000
Speaker 1: you know you want some of me. I took the

1753
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:41,880
Speaker 1: ass whoop before it. But the dress code thing, like

1754
01:16:42,520 --> 01:16:45,439
Speaker 1: I actually was just you know what I mean, I.

1755
01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:47,519
Speaker 4: Was twenty one. Where am I going after the game?

1756
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:49,559
Speaker 4: Going to the club, you know what I mean?

1757
01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:52,799
Speaker 1: Like before that, they were used to dudes wearing soups,

1758
01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:55,320
Speaker 1: and you know what I mean, I was like, damn,

1759
01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:56,840
Speaker 1: Like I've never wonn a soup.

1760
01:16:56,960 --> 01:16:59,519
Speaker 4: Growing up, going to church or to a funeral, the

1761
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:07,560
Speaker 4: only time am I theom in the courtroom? Definitely in

1762
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:08,240
Speaker 4: the court room.

1763
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:13,679
Speaker 1: So I never wore a soup to the to the gym,

1764
01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:16,800
Speaker 1: to play, to the to the park sweatsuit, you know

1765
01:17:16,840 --> 01:17:17,920
Speaker 1: what I mean, or whatever.

1766
01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:20,040
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. So I ain't think I

1767
01:17:20,120 --> 01:17:21,040
Speaker 4: ain't think nothing of it.

1768
01:17:21,560 --> 01:17:24,080
Speaker 1: David Stern and rest of the NBA was like, ah,

1769
01:17:24,240 --> 01:17:26,160
Speaker 1: because it was all right when I was doing it,

1770
01:17:26,479 --> 01:17:29,519
Speaker 1: but then everybody else said, okay, like he can do that,

1771
01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:32,240
Speaker 1: we can do this. So then everybody, you know, you

1772
01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:34,439
Speaker 1: see Kobe coming in with the diamond chains on and

1773
01:17:34,520 --> 01:17:37,200
Speaker 1: the baggy clothes, and you know, everybody started doing it.

1774
01:17:37,280 --> 01:17:39,240
Speaker 1: Then the league was like, hold on, you gotta do

1775
01:17:39,360 --> 01:17:43,200
Speaker 1: something about that. So it wasn't it wasn't anything malicious

1776
01:17:43,280 --> 01:17:46,519
Speaker 1: like and that and that. That whole situation showed me

1777
01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:48,439
Speaker 1: a lot and it proved a lot to me at

1778
01:17:48,479 --> 01:17:48,920
Speaker 1: a young.

1779
01:17:48,840 --> 01:17:51,559
Speaker 4: Age about stereotyping people, because you.

1780
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:53,800
Speaker 1: Know, when you seen John Gotti, John Gotty kept on

1781
01:17:53,880 --> 01:17:56,800
Speaker 1: the two thousand dollars suit, but what was he He

1782
01:17:56,920 --> 01:17:57,720
Speaker 1: get busy.

1783
01:17:57,960 --> 01:17:58,479
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.

1784
01:17:58,600 --> 01:18:00,680
Speaker 1: So it ain't about you know what you got on

1785
01:18:00,920 --> 01:18:02,680
Speaker 1: on the outside, who you are, and they said that

1786
01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:05,280
Speaker 1: bother you the most where they labeled you a thump.

1787
01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:09,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll be cool with a street dude, cool with

1788
01:18:09,880 --> 01:18:11,840
Speaker 4: that because that's what I am.

1789
01:18:12,040 --> 01:18:14,120
Speaker 1: I mean, that's where I come from. That's all I've

1790
01:18:14,160 --> 01:18:17,360
Speaker 1: ever been around my life. That's where I grew up around.

1791
01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:21,880
Speaker 1: But a thug like nah, that's a that's a stretch.

1792
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:24,160
Speaker 2: I was wondering would you change things?

1793
01:18:24,160 --> 01:18:26,200
Speaker 8: And the reason I asked that because even in the book,

1794
01:18:26,800 --> 01:18:29,439
Speaker 8: you understood you had to wear a suit the court,

1795
01:18:30,320 --> 01:18:32,200
Speaker 8: but you didn't want to do it for press conferences.

1796
01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:34,840
Speaker 4: In the NBA, I was bad advice like I was.

1797
01:18:35,320 --> 01:18:37,519
Speaker 1: You know, I was told to take a go to

1798
01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:40,680
Speaker 1: trial and go off whatever the judge say, opposed to

1799
01:18:41,320 --> 01:18:44,720
Speaker 1: having a jury that, you know what I mean. Some

1800
01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:47,360
Speaker 1: of that I was getting advice from people that never

1801
01:18:47,479 --> 01:18:50,280
Speaker 1: had been through it, you know what I mean. I

1802
01:18:50,520 --> 01:18:52,960
Speaker 1: was told that if I wore a suit then they'd

1803
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:57,400
Speaker 1: be leanient I was. I was extremely wrong.

1804
01:18:57,560 --> 01:18:58,479
Speaker 2: So you wish you to just wa.

1805
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:05,880
Speaker 4: I remember I remember that same suit.

1806
01:19:06,320 --> 01:19:08,799
Speaker 1: I was in a sale it was one hundred degrees

1807
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:12,200
Speaker 1: with no fans in there, and the older sale. I

1808
01:19:12,280 --> 01:19:15,840
Speaker 1: was in the old man sale with fifteen people, you

1809
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:16,320
Speaker 1: know what I mean.

1810
01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:16,880
Speaker 4: And that suit.

1811
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:19,040
Speaker 1: When they came got me, I was in the corner

1812
01:19:19,160 --> 01:19:21,559
Speaker 1: with my boxes on, you know what I mean, soaking

1813
01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:23,160
Speaker 1: wet and the suit was balled up.

1814
01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:24,720
Speaker 4: In the corner. When they came and got me out

1815
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:27,000
Speaker 4: of there, I had on my box you know what

1816
01:19:27,040 --> 01:19:30,960
Speaker 4: I mean. So I don't know what. Do you regret anything? Nah,

1817
01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:32,599
Speaker 4: because I wouldn't be you on I am now.

1818
01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:36,600
Speaker 1: I wouldn't change anything man in my life, all of

1819
01:19:36,640 --> 01:19:39,320
Speaker 1: these experience, even with the book. Man, it's like I

1820
01:19:39,439 --> 01:19:43,200
Speaker 1: love like my girl always talked to me about why

1821
01:19:43,280 --> 01:19:45,439
Speaker 1: do you let like what I started talking about in

1822
01:19:45,479 --> 01:19:47,360
Speaker 1: the beginning, why do you let that type.

1823
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:50,440
Speaker 2: Of bother you? And I'm like practice press conference.

1824
01:19:50,320 --> 01:19:54,519
Speaker 4: No, just with my friends, friends, how people you know

1825
01:19:54,520 --> 01:19:54,920
Speaker 4: what I mean.

1826
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,920
Speaker 1: It's like why and I don't know, you know what

1827
01:19:57,960 --> 01:20:00,240
Speaker 1: I mean, Like I love the people that I and

1828
01:20:00,320 --> 01:20:02,840
Speaker 1: it hurt when they show you who they really are,

1829
01:20:02,880 --> 01:20:05,439
Speaker 1: of course, because I'm thinking you somebody else, you know

1830
01:20:05,479 --> 01:20:07,760
Speaker 1: what I mean, And she like, you know, why do

1831
01:20:07,840 --> 01:20:09,720
Speaker 1: you stress out over stuff like that? And one of

1832
01:20:09,840 --> 01:20:12,800
Speaker 1: us you different, you have a talent and you you're

1833
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:15,880
Speaker 1: blessed to be able to brush that stuff off. It's

1834
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:20,000
Speaker 1: hard for me now my talent obviously is you know,

1835
01:20:20,920 --> 01:20:24,680
Speaker 1: legendary with who. But I think another blessed blessing that

1836
01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:27,920
Speaker 1: I have is to be an open book, to be someone.

1837
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:33,280
Speaker 1: I'm embarrassed by practice rant I'm embarrassed about, uh, not

1838
01:20:33,439 --> 01:20:36,560
Speaker 1: really embarrassed. But it wasn't smart for me, you know,

1839
01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:40,280
Speaker 1: because I remember, you know, people telling me Ai, you

1840
01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:44,320
Speaker 1: cannot take care of everybody. And I used to let

1841
01:20:44,400 --> 01:20:46,320
Speaker 1: him go on one air and write out the other like, yo,

1842
01:20:46,880 --> 01:20:48,200
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm gonna be the exception

1843
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:50,240
Speaker 1: to the rule. I'm gonna take care of the people.

1844
01:20:50,040 --> 01:20:53,080
Speaker 4: That I love. Like that's just me, you know what

1845
01:20:53,120 --> 01:20:53,439
Speaker 4: I mean.

1846
01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:57,519
Speaker 18: And I think that's why I hurt you so bad

1847
01:20:57,560 --> 01:20:59,640
Speaker 18: because your heart, isn't it You love these people? You know,

1848
01:21:00,640 --> 01:21:02,640
Speaker 18: you superman, but you still have a heart, you know

1849
01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:03,040
Speaker 18: what I mean?

1850
01:21:03,120 --> 01:21:05,720
Speaker 1: And you like but this is but this is my

1851
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:08,240
Speaker 1: this is my gift, Like this is my gift to

1852
01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:12,160
Speaker 1: this book, this this documentary. My experience is the turbulent,

1853
01:21:12,479 --> 01:21:16,400
Speaker 1: the ups and downs, Like uh, if one kid or

1854
01:21:16,479 --> 01:21:19,320
Speaker 1: one adult whatever read this book and they can take

1855
01:21:19,400 --> 01:21:21,240
Speaker 1: something from it. I have people come to me all

1856
01:21:21,280 --> 01:21:23,880
Speaker 1: the time be like yo, man, you inspired my life. Man,

1857
01:21:23,920 --> 01:21:25,439
Speaker 1: I would have died. If it was for you, I

1858
01:21:25,439 --> 01:21:27,160
Speaker 1: would have went to jail for the rest of my life.

1859
01:21:27,479 --> 01:21:28,040
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.

1860
01:21:28,240 --> 01:21:31,320
Speaker 1: Like you you changed my life, and that that motivate me.

1861
01:21:31,479 --> 01:21:34,000
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like I'm to give more,

1862
01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:37,439
Speaker 1: like to even when you embarrass you uncomfortable, you know,

1863
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:38,080
Speaker 1: talk about it.

1864
01:21:38,160 --> 01:21:40,800
Speaker 4: Somebody might not have to go through it. Somebody might.

1865
01:21:40,920 --> 01:21:43,600
Speaker 4: You might save somebody's life, you know what i mean. Like,

1866
01:21:43,880 --> 01:21:44,439
Speaker 4: talk about it.

1867
01:21:44,880 --> 01:21:46,559
Speaker 1: Man, you was on top of the world. You had

1868
01:21:46,600 --> 01:21:48,360
Speaker 1: all the money, you know what I mean, all you

1869
01:21:48,439 --> 01:21:51,320
Speaker 1: had to do. It's easy for to tell Chuck what

1870
01:21:51,439 --> 01:21:53,760
Speaker 1: to do with his easy for somebody to say what

1871
01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:56,360
Speaker 1: I would have did? Man, that was him, I would

1872
01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:58,720
Speaker 1: have did. You ain't me, you know what I mean.

1873
01:21:58,800 --> 01:22:03,120
Speaker 4: You don't know how. I'm sorry. You're not me, you

1874
01:22:03,200 --> 01:22:05,040
Speaker 4: know what I mean. I make mistakes, I'm human, just

1875
01:22:05,240 --> 01:22:05,439
Speaker 4: like you.

1876
01:22:05,560 --> 01:22:07,840
Speaker 1: I've seen an interview you gave up drinking six months ago,

1877
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:10,519
Speaker 1: at that point where you said this is enough.

1878
01:22:10,680 --> 01:22:13,439
Speaker 4: It was it was I'll be lying if I would

1879
01:22:13,479 --> 01:22:15,920
Speaker 4: say it just just stopped the brother, you know what

1880
01:22:15,960 --> 01:22:18,920
Speaker 4: I mean? It was it was situations. You know what

1881
01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:22,840
Speaker 4: I mean. You know where is you know what I mean?

1882
01:22:22,960 --> 01:22:25,120
Speaker 4: Like I know I put it here. You know what

1883
01:22:25,160 --> 01:22:25,479
Speaker 4: I mean.

1884
01:22:25,520 --> 01:22:28,360
Speaker 1: It's the same thing having certain guys around you. Everybody

1885
01:22:28,439 --> 01:22:30,680
Speaker 1: when when when they your people, your people know.

1886
01:22:30,720 --> 01:22:33,200
Speaker 4: When you're drunk, you know, just chill, man, Just.

1887
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:40,400
Speaker 1: Him some more glasses, dumb and he Yo, man, right now, man,

1888
01:22:40,479 --> 01:22:43,360
Speaker 1: God damn, I need you to you know what I'm saying, man,

1889
01:22:43,439 --> 01:22:44,760
Speaker 1: But this is going on, that going on.

1890
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:45,080
Speaker 2: Man.

1891
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:45,640
Speaker 4: I need you to.

1892
01:22:48,600 --> 01:22:52,160
Speaker 2: Get this because let me just talk about when I

1893
01:22:52,240 --> 01:22:52,800
Speaker 2: get nice.

1894
01:22:58,360 --> 01:23:00,800
Speaker 4: I wanted to sleep glass line a thousand on me,

1895
01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:04,280
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, But I got twelve hundred.

1896
01:23:08,720 --> 01:23:12,320
Speaker 1: What my sniggers, My man, you gave such and such

1897
01:23:12,760 --> 01:23:17,559
Speaker 1: your your your little sniggers, you gave your sister, your

1898
01:23:17,680 --> 01:23:20,519
Speaker 1: your uh your uh, your your fur coat.

1899
01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:22,320
Speaker 4: You can you know what I mean?

1900
01:23:22,439 --> 01:23:26,280
Speaker 1: Like I mean, that's just that's just small to the

1901
01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:28,920
Speaker 1: the real you know what I mean. Not feeling well,

1902
01:23:29,400 --> 01:23:31,439
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. I mean, I did all

1903
01:23:31,520 --> 01:23:34,479
Speaker 1: this and I was having fun last night. To wake

1904
01:23:34,600 --> 01:23:36,920
Speaker 1: up feeling like this, you know what I mean. Then

1905
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:39,760
Speaker 1: my responsibilities you you you know what I mean. You're

1906
01:23:39,800 --> 01:23:42,519
Speaker 1: missing flights and you know what I mean. I mean,

1907
01:23:43,080 --> 01:23:45,080
Speaker 1: just a it's a pluthor r of things, man.

1908
01:23:45,160 --> 01:23:46,719
Speaker 4: You just drinking.

1909
01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:49,839
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like I saw to evaluate

1910
01:23:49,960 --> 01:23:53,479
Speaker 1: and like what good does it do for me? You understand?

1911
01:23:53,560 --> 01:23:55,960
Speaker 1: Like you, I mean, you can you can have fun

1912
01:23:56,000 --> 01:23:58,160
Speaker 1: with your own boys, your homegirls, you know what I

1913
01:23:58,240 --> 01:24:00,439
Speaker 1: mean without that. And I talked to God about it.

1914
01:24:01,240 --> 01:24:04,880
Speaker 1: I asked them to help me be strong. I didn't

1915
01:24:04,880 --> 01:24:06,920
Speaker 1: go to no AA or nothing like that. Like I

1916
01:24:07,560 --> 01:24:10,040
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm not I'm not doing it.

1917
01:24:10,280 --> 01:24:12,880
Speaker 1: And that's what it wasn't. The crazy thing about it

1918
01:24:13,560 --> 01:24:16,800
Speaker 1: is I've been with her for fifteen, for thirty five

1919
01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:20,960
Speaker 1: years and since I was fifteen, And this crazy part

1920
01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:24,160
Speaker 1: about it is she said when I told her I

1921
01:24:24,320 --> 01:24:28,280
Speaker 1: was stopping that after that, she prayed on it. And

1922
01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:30,200
Speaker 1: she said that was the only time that she ever

1923
01:24:30,960 --> 01:24:33,240
Speaker 1: prayed on it. Like I said it plenty times in

1924
01:24:33,360 --> 01:24:35,559
Speaker 1: the past, and she said that was the only time

1925
01:24:35,640 --> 01:24:36,439
Speaker 1: that she prayed on it.

1926
01:24:36,960 --> 01:24:39,400
Speaker 10: And I was authentic with it as a husband.

1927
01:24:40,160 --> 01:24:43,479
Speaker 4: What have you discovered now, boyfriend, your marri.

1928
01:24:45,360 --> 01:24:49,599
Speaker 2: Boyfriend. I mean, we got the boy, so you married

1929
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:51,800
Speaker 2: the boy. Then y'all got right back together like six

1930
01:24:51,880 --> 01:24:52,320
Speaker 2: months later.

1931
01:24:53,560 --> 01:24:56,519
Speaker 1: I mean, I want to don't I want this point

1932
01:24:56,600 --> 01:25:00,280
Speaker 1: to be made because you think I'm more I am,

1933
01:25:00,880 --> 01:25:02,320
Speaker 1: and I was out of control.

1934
01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:05,120
Speaker 4: I was out of control, and.

1935
01:25:06,040 --> 01:25:10,599
Speaker 1: This threat was there for years, for years and years

1936
01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:12,640
Speaker 1: and years and years and years, and it's like the

1937
01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:16,760
Speaker 1: boy cried wolf, like whatever, I heard that before.

1938
01:25:17,080 --> 01:25:17,639
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.

1939
01:25:17,760 --> 01:25:20,360
Speaker 1: And then it was like she got to the point

1940
01:25:20,360 --> 01:25:24,200
Speaker 1: where like, yo, I gotta show this, I gotta do

1941
01:25:24,280 --> 01:25:25,479
Speaker 1: something to show him I'm serious.

1942
01:25:26,680 --> 01:25:28,479
Speaker 4: And that's what happened. You in that courtroom.

1943
01:25:29,280 --> 01:25:32,920
Speaker 1: You're looking over there and you see number one right there,

1944
01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:36,040
Speaker 1: and you're looking down at that paper and them tears

1945
01:25:36,160 --> 01:25:39,120
Speaker 1: hitting that paper and they don't say, you know, I've

1946
01:25:39,200 --> 01:25:43,280
Speaker 1: been Georgetown versus Georgetown and it's been a scrimmage or

1947
01:25:43,320 --> 01:25:46,360
Speaker 1: sixes versus sixers, and you're looking at the stat sheet

1948
01:25:46,640 --> 01:25:50,000
Speaker 1: whatever I'm looking at Iverston versus Iverson, you.

1949
01:25:50,040 --> 01:25:53,920
Speaker 4: Know what I mean, And like, Yo, it's real, you

1950
01:25:54,000 --> 01:25:54,479
Speaker 4: know what I mean?

1951
01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:55,760
Speaker 2: Like did you ask suit?

1952
01:25:58,439 --> 01:26:00,840
Speaker 1: Look, I really was defiant then, you know what I mean,

1953
01:26:01,000 --> 01:26:03,519
Speaker 1: Like you got me in here, you know what I mean.

1954
01:26:04,080 --> 01:26:06,600
Speaker 1: And I had a judge and judge was vicious, like

1955
01:26:07,240 --> 01:26:08,280
Speaker 1: I couldn't do nothing right.

1956
01:26:08,439 --> 01:26:10,639
Speaker 13: Even in that moment, you were defined and I guess

1957
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:12,880
Speaker 13: upset even though you knew because you said you knew

1958
01:26:12,920 --> 01:26:15,519
Speaker 13: you were out of control. But so like in that moment,

1959
01:26:15,680 --> 01:26:18,160
Speaker 13: why are you defining upset if she's just doing what

1960
01:26:18,280 --> 01:26:20,200
Speaker 13: she thinks is going to help, I guess, to get

1961
01:26:20,280 --> 01:26:21,600
Speaker 13: you to a better spot for her.

1962
01:26:22,360 --> 01:26:28,479
Speaker 1: I was selfishly thinking about my Demid because I know

1963
01:26:29,280 --> 01:26:31,479
Speaker 1: in my heart and in my mind that I can't

1964
01:26:31,560 --> 01:26:32,000
Speaker 1: live without.

1965
01:26:33,160 --> 01:26:34,960
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, like I know it, like

1966
01:26:35,120 --> 01:26:35,760
Speaker 4: I know it.

1967
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:40,200
Speaker 1: I took, I took her love for me for granted,

1968
01:26:40,560 --> 01:26:42,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like as far as she

1969
01:26:42,200 --> 01:26:46,000
Speaker 1: loving me so much that I felt like you know

1970
01:26:47,280 --> 01:26:50,320
Speaker 1: that she would never she would never go nowhere like

1971
01:26:50,760 --> 01:26:52,320
Speaker 1: this is all I've known. This is the only love

1972
01:26:52,400 --> 01:26:55,080
Speaker 1: that I've ever known, as far as like I never

1973
01:26:55,240 --> 01:26:58,320
Speaker 1: loved someone like this in my life, you know what

1974
01:26:58,360 --> 01:27:00,280
Speaker 1: I mean? Then a lot of times, you know, all

1975
01:27:00,720 --> 01:27:03,639
Speaker 1: women would say, or even guys, you know, anybody that's

1976
01:27:03,920 --> 01:27:07,000
Speaker 1: you know, logical about anything, How you love her so

1977
01:27:07,160 --> 01:27:08,840
Speaker 1: much and you do the things?

1978
01:27:09,720 --> 01:27:11,559
Speaker 4: And I don't have an answer.

1979
01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:14,280
Speaker 2: We never do though, as men, we never do. We

1980
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:15,840
Speaker 2: don't know why we do we do?

1981
01:27:16,560 --> 01:27:17,799
Speaker 5: So how has not drinking?

1982
01:27:18,240 --> 01:27:20,120
Speaker 13: And you know it seems like you're you know, your

1983
01:27:20,160 --> 01:27:22,280
Speaker 13: focus is different in this time of your life. How

1984
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:24,799
Speaker 13: has that made you guys rediscover each other in a relationship.

1985
01:27:24,840 --> 01:27:28,000
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm Claire Huxtable. I'm in Cliff.

1986
01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:34,400
Speaker 1: I'm Cliff Huxortable. Now I'm I'm I kind of get

1987
01:27:34,400 --> 01:27:37,160
Speaker 1: a feeling like I'm the guy like I felt always

1988
01:27:37,200 --> 01:27:38,960
Speaker 1: felt like, you know, I was the guy.

1989
01:27:38,920 --> 01:27:41,680
Speaker 4: She always wanted you know what I mean, wanted to be,

1990
01:27:41,760 --> 01:27:43,280
Speaker 4: you know, wanted me to be.

1991
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:46,320
Speaker 1: But I really feel like that guy now, Like I

1992
01:27:46,640 --> 01:27:51,120
Speaker 1: feel like it's not the Huxtables around there obviously, but

1993
01:27:52,240 --> 01:27:56,320
Speaker 1: like she love you know this me, you know, because

1994
01:27:56,479 --> 01:27:59,679
Speaker 1: you always getting this me. It's hard to take advantage

1995
01:27:59,720 --> 01:28:02,560
Speaker 1: of somebody that can see clear as hell, you know

1996
01:28:02,600 --> 01:28:05,559
Speaker 1: what I mean, opposed to being nonchalant about everything.

1997
01:28:05,800 --> 01:28:07,880
Speaker 4: You know what I mean, Like it's you know, my

1998
01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:10,599
Speaker 4: homeboys says a different Chuck. Now you know what I mean.

1999
01:28:10,720 --> 01:28:14,760
Speaker 1: I see, I see what's going on, you know what

2000
01:28:14,760 --> 01:28:16,600
Speaker 1: I mean. All the stuff that I used to, you know,

2001
01:28:16,760 --> 01:28:20,479
Speaker 1: not pay attention to, I'm paying attention to it now,

2002
01:28:20,800 --> 01:28:23,360
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I just think, you know,

2003
01:28:23,600 --> 01:28:27,680
Speaker 1: by me making this decision, it's so much better for

2004
01:28:27,880 --> 01:28:29,920
Speaker 1: not just myself, everybody around me.

2005
01:28:30,120 --> 01:28:31,240
Speaker 4: Man, I can help better.

2006
01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:34,120
Speaker 1: My advice is better, you know what I mean, Like

2007
01:28:34,280 --> 01:28:36,719
Speaker 1: I'm a better friend now, I'm a better family member.

2008
01:28:37,520 --> 01:28:41,920
Speaker 1: You know clear, you know what I'm saying, Like I

2009
01:28:42,080 --> 01:28:46,599
Speaker 1: promise you I'm the smartest man in the world because

2010
01:28:46,640 --> 01:28:47,240
Speaker 1: I know him.

2011
01:28:47,120 --> 01:28:50,479
Speaker 2: Not saying you got to I do. Got one last question.

2012
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:53,880
Speaker 8: Man, you changed the entire culture of basketball, but to me,

2013
01:28:53,960 --> 01:28:56,759
Speaker 8: you change black culture. You also change hip hop culture

2014
01:28:56,800 --> 01:28:59,680
Speaker 8: from your fashion to your attitude to just your authenticity.

2015
01:29:00,080 --> 01:29:04,840
Speaker 8: When you see how the NBA in the world embraces individuality.

2016
01:29:04,920 --> 01:29:08,040
Speaker 8: Now do you feel celebrated or do you still feel misunderstood?

2017
01:29:08,479 --> 01:29:12,880
Speaker 1: It's I get the opportunity, Like this is opportunity for me,

2018
01:29:13,680 --> 01:29:16,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like all of those years

2019
01:29:16,520 --> 01:29:19,519
Speaker 1: you wanted to you know you wanted this. Oh man,

2020
01:29:19,560 --> 01:29:22,240
Speaker 1: you got me wrong. Talk about it to your family,

2021
01:29:22,880 --> 01:29:25,920
Speaker 1: your friends. Man, I'm misunderstood. Man, they don't They ain't

2022
01:29:25,920 --> 01:29:27,000
Speaker 1: getting it, you know what I mean.

2023
01:29:27,040 --> 01:29:30,000
Speaker 4: It ain't like that. And then this platform and then

2024
01:29:30,160 --> 01:29:32,080
Speaker 4: all the other big platforms.

2025
01:29:32,439 --> 01:29:35,439
Speaker 1: You know, just you guys give me an opportunity to

2026
01:29:35,520 --> 01:29:37,880
Speaker 1: come up here and ask me that I want to

2027
01:29:38,000 --> 01:29:39,880
Speaker 1: answer that that I want the world to know.

2028
01:29:40,240 --> 01:29:42,479
Speaker 4: And this book took years you know what I mean.

2029
01:29:42,520 --> 01:29:44,120
Speaker 4: The documentary took years to do.

2030
01:29:44,560 --> 01:29:47,880
Speaker 1: I'm just happy that I get an opportunity to tell

2031
01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:52,000
Speaker 1: my story or write my story and help.

2032
01:29:52,320 --> 01:29:56,439
Speaker 4: And help and help somebody. All I want is for

2033
01:29:56,560 --> 01:29:59,120
Speaker 4: people to get out of it. Man, It's all right

2034
01:29:59,640 --> 01:30:02,519
Speaker 4: to be you. It's all right. You know what I mean.

2035
01:30:02,640 --> 01:30:05,840
Speaker 1: It's it's it's things that's gonna happen in your life,

2036
01:30:06,240 --> 01:30:08,400
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be tough, you know what I mean.

2037
01:30:08,560 --> 01:30:12,439
Speaker 4: But that's when you're gonna lean on number one. You're

2038
01:30:12,479 --> 01:30:14,920
Speaker 4: gonna lean on him. You're gonna lean on God. You

2039
01:30:15,040 --> 01:30:18,320
Speaker 4: don't you don't ask them, uh any, You don't question

2040
01:30:18,479 --> 01:30:21,040
Speaker 4: him at all? You know what I mean. Whatever happened happened.

2041
01:30:21,040 --> 01:30:22,320
Speaker 4: I ain't never my grandma.

2042
01:30:22,040 --> 01:30:24,400
Speaker 1: Told me when I went to jail, that bowling alley thing.

2043
01:30:24,760 --> 01:30:26,840
Speaker 1: I said, now, why are they doing this to me?

2044
01:30:27,240 --> 01:30:28,800
Speaker 1: If they know I didn't do what they said? I

2045
01:30:28,920 --> 01:30:32,360
Speaker 1: did question, never questioned God, and I've never done it

2046
01:30:32,439 --> 01:30:34,560
Speaker 1: since then. You know what I mean, Whatever he do,

2047
01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:36,400
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I'm cool with it.

2048
01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:37,519
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.

2049
01:30:38,360 --> 01:30:40,880
Speaker 1: He driving his car and I'm gonna just sitting there,

2050
01:30:41,120 --> 01:30:43,920
Speaker 1: ride shotgun wherever he take me. That's where I'm going,

2051
01:30:43,960 --> 01:30:46,800
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna live with the results. So that's that's

2052
01:30:46,840 --> 01:30:49,040
Speaker 1: the only thing I want. I just think, man, live

2053
01:30:49,320 --> 01:30:50,960
Speaker 1: and laugh, love man.

2054
01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:51,920
Speaker 2: We love you, brother.

2055
01:30:52,360 --> 01:31:00,880
Speaker 4: You out right now, I got go.

2056
01:31:02,800 --> 01:31:04,720
Speaker 2: The breakfast club. Good morning, It's time to get up

2057
01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:06,800
Speaker 2: out of here. Charlaman. You got a positive note? Yes

2058
01:31:06,880 --> 01:31:08,519
Speaker 2: I do, man, and it's simple. I want to talk

2059
01:31:08,560 --> 01:31:10,080
Speaker 2: to you about perseverance. Okay.

2060
01:31:10,439 --> 01:31:14,800
Speaker 8: People think that perseverance is like this long race. No,

2061
01:31:15,040 --> 01:31:20,160
Speaker 8: perseverance is many short races, one after another, and you're

2062
01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:22,640
Speaker 8: gonna need it, okay, because success is no accident. It

2063
01:31:22,760 --> 01:31:27,240
Speaker 8: is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all,

2064
01:31:27,600 --> 01:31:29,920
Speaker 8: love of what you are doing or learning to do.

2065
01:31:30,160 --> 01:31:33,760
Speaker 2: Have a great day, Breakfast club, bitches, you don't finish

2066
01:31:33,880 --> 01:31:34,400
Speaker 2: or y'all done.