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Speaker 1: I might become my ex girlfriend's new step daddy. Daddy, daddy,

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Speaker 1: Laddy actually daddy, actually legally daddy, legally I don't, I

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Speaker 1: don't why.

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Speaker 2: You just call me daddy. I wanted to be in

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Speaker 2: the freaking courthouse.

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Speaker 3: I want you to legally in writing side away your

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Speaker 3: dad given rights to mate. I want to start a

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Speaker 3: podcast now called legally Daddy, Legally Daddy. Great podcast title, Yeah, dud.

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Speaker 2: That's great. I'm there for it.

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Speaker 1: It's all stories of like exes becoming legal fathers.

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Speaker 2: That is like the ultimate power move. You know, your

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Speaker 2: girlfriend breaks up with you and they're like, well, fuck it,

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Speaker 2: I'm Mary now I'll be my daughter. I'm twenty eight mal.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend and I broke up months ago, and we

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Speaker 1: broke up largely due to us wanting different things out

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Speaker 1: of life relationship what like like op wanting her mom,

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Speaker 1: yeah like, and her not wanting him to date. She

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Speaker 1: wants she wants time to build her career. I want

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Speaker 1: to I want to be with a sixty five year old.

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Speaker 1: I want to second those little saggy titties.

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Speaker 2: We want different things. Just it just happens in a relationship, right, God,

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Speaker 2: it does that, It does.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we wanted different things in the relationship and mostly

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Speaker 1: us fighting.

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Speaker 2: All the time. Okay, that's the real reason. That's the

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Speaker 2: real reason. All we want different thing. We have different values. No,

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Speaker 2: you just you guys didn't get along.

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Speaker 1: Well. I knew her mother and met her multiple times.

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Speaker 1: And she's single.

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Speaker 2: Oh, how recently.

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Speaker 1: I think pretty recently, ready for the taken hot out

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Speaker 1: the oven with no but can't have buns in her oven.

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Speaker 1: But she's hot out the oven. Ooh. Oh, she's in

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Speaker 1: her fifties but has a great body for her age.

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Speaker 2: You would never guess that she's in her fifties. All right,

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Speaker 2: it sounds like op's like already thinking about tapping.

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Speaker 1: We bumped into each other at a grocery store and

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Speaker 1: she said she was making a nice dinner for herself

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Speaker 1: and buying ingredients for it, and she ended up inviting

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Speaker 1: me over that night.

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Speaker 2: Oh, total, totally innocent. Total you want some of.

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Speaker 1: This saucy it's piping hot, don't burn. I'm a sucker

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Speaker 1: for free meals, And honestly, I missed my ex and

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Speaker 1: I thought that it would be a way to maybe

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Speaker 1: to see her again and also have a second chance.

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Speaker 2: Hey, he's getting a second chance, but not in the

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Speaker 2: way that he thought. You know, hey, you know, why

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Speaker 2: go for the lady with less experience when you can

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Speaker 2: go for the one with more experience. Why, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I go go go with the original model.

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Speaker 1: You know that's a level up if you ask me.

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Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. Well, the dinner was not what

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Speaker 1: I expected.

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Speaker 2: I really really, come on, she's inviting you over to dinner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was more than her mother just being nice.

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Speaker 1: So when I arrived, everything was clear that this was

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Speaker 1: not her mom just being friendly. This was seduction.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, seduction one point zero.

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Speaker 1: She was wearing a very low cut dress and showing

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Speaker 1: off her cleavage and her mother has very large breasts.

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Speaker 2: Dude, Op is into his ex girlfriend's mom. I mean

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Speaker 2: from the get go, he's already saying like, damn, she

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Speaker 2: hot as fuck.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he was like, you know, you know, the it's

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Speaker 1: the classic thing of like see how the mom looks

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Speaker 1: kind of judge, like how she'll age. He was like, man,

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Speaker 1: she's getting age really really like fine wine.

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Speaker 2: And she was flirting.

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Speaker 1: The whole time and kept pouring more and more wine.

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Speaker 2: Dude, Yeah, this is kind of trying to get op

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Speaker 2: drumh honestly, come on, mom, Yeah all right, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I did, pausing on the on the uh craziness of

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Speaker 2: the situation for a sec Like pretty dick, big dick

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Speaker 2: move by the mom to hook up with your daughter's

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Speaker 2: ex boyfriend's rough.

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Speaker 1: There's there's a hundred million young men in the world

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Speaker 1: for you. You have to pick your daughter's X. I guess, so,

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Speaker 1: come on. I hadn't even thought about her mother that way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, but it had been a long time since

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Speaker 1: I had done the nasty and her mother, while older

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Speaker 1: than me, is very attractive. When she started getting more

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Speaker 1: and more flirtatious and handsy, I caved.

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Speaker 2: A man only has so much willpower.

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Speaker 1: We lost a soldier today, boys in honor. We ended

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Speaker 1: up having sex right then and there in the dining room.

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Speaker 2: In the dining room, I didn't even.

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Speaker 1: Have the decency to make it to the bedroom.

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Speaker 2: Wow, God, food is being eaten.

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Speaker 1: The daughter's gonna eat cereal tomorrow and just not know

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Speaker 1: this is a bottle of sex. Soos we finished, and

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Speaker 1: afterwards she pulled her dress back down and said we

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Speaker 1: probably shouldn't ever tell her daughter. But if I ever

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Speaker 1: wanted to stop by again, I'm more than welcome to visit.

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Speaker 2: I love it. Would you like to come visit? Visit anytime?

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Speaker 1: This this mom is trifling. I'm sorry, this is this

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Speaker 1: is not the right move, Like the guy shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: done it, but like it's the mom is the instigator here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's she's really likes or illustrating the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: And well, suffice to say, I've visited multiple times now,

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Speaker 1: oh pe, eight in the last month. Eight in the

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Speaker 1: last that's like multiple times a week.

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Speaker 2: Man, man's having a good time.

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Speaker 1: I feel guilty about it because this would crush my

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Speaker 1: ex if she ever knew. And this one hundred percent

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Speaker 1: means that we will never be together again. I know

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Speaker 1: I'm a piece of shit, but I can't stop myself.

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Speaker 1: Her mother is honestly the best at sex I've ever had.

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Speaker 2: She has all the experience, man.

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Speaker 1: She really does.

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Speaker 2: Though.

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Speaker 1: Her mom texted me today and wants me to come over.

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Speaker 1: I said, yes, I'm doing it again, God help me.

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Speaker 2: Oh Pee, you are? I mean you've definitely he's one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent fucked the relationship up with his ex girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: Like there's no way you're coming back from that, or

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Speaker 2: you like, let let's say Let's say you stop hooking

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Speaker 2: up with the mom and then you're like, all right,

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Speaker 2: I want to go back to the AX, like to

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Speaker 2: have to keep that seat grit. That would suck.

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Speaker 1: Also, this mom is too way too much of a

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Speaker 1: wild card, so you just can't, Like, I feel like

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Speaker 1: she's like getting off on the fact that she was

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Speaker 1: her daughter's boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Oh for sure, it makes it so much hotter. Come on, mama, dude,

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Speaker 2: where are your where are your where's your self control? Yeah,