1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: M from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl ill 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands 5 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the 6 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who grew into hymnals 7 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo chariots. To keep 9 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood, be wise, be smart, being black, 10 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: Jim see King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife, 12 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the as this is, 13 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: and the emphasis told me that you would come to 14 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: give wisdom. Thousands They said you would come. Dropping Dropping Jim. Hey, 15 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of the Dropping Jim's podcast. 16 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,119 Speaker 1: I'm Debbie Brown. This is your soft place to land 17 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: where we bring beautiful conversations about higher consciousness to life 18 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,960 Speaker 1: and we ground them in our everyday life. Today's show 19 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: we are exploring new territory and I feel so mm 20 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: hmm lucky to be able to talk about the things 21 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: that we're going to talk about today. It's our first 22 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:52,639 Speaker 1: time exploring conversations around addiction and recovery. Today's special guest 23 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: is a dear friend, Stephen Washington. Stephen is the author 24 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: of the book Recovering You Your Soul, Care and Mindful 25 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: Movement for overcoming addiction. As a former professional dancer who 26 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: performed on Broadway and Disney's The Lion King, his love 27 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 1: of movement inspired him to become the highly acclaimed che 28 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: gung and pilates teacher that he is today. Stephen lives 29 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: a joyful life of recovery and is passionate about helping 30 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 1: others as they navigate towards health and happiness. He offers 31 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 1: che gong, pilates, dance, meditation, laughter, and more through his website. 32 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: Visit him online Stephen Washington Experience dot com. And I'm 33 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 1: so excited to dive into all the things. Welcome to 34 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 1: the show, my friend, Stephen Washington. Thank you so good 35 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: to be here. Wonderful to see you, Debbie. Always amazing 36 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: to see you. I'm so excited to share you with 37 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: my audience because I've had the privilege of having such nourishing, 38 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: beautiful expanse of conversations with you one on one where 39 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: you and I have both been able to talk about 40 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 1: some of the real complexities and nuance of this healing journey, 41 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 1: and especially as it relates to coming into an awakened 42 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: spiritual path with the background as a person of color, 43 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: or having other complex layers that add on top of 44 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: that to what this journey is um And so it's 45 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: really exciting to share you your book that is out 46 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: is Recovering You soul care and mindful movement for overcoming addiction. One. 47 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: It is just a radical, gorgeous vision to see if 48 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: I could be quite honest, a man of color who's 49 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: standing in his healing and standing in specifically healing overcoming addiction, 50 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: and to use a modality like che gung, you know, 51 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 1: this sacred, sacred, ancient work in medicine. It's just it's 52 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: a visual that we don't often get to see you 53 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: being able to be invited into spaces that are not 54 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: necessarily organic to all of us, depending on our past. 55 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: It's just really incredibly powerful. So I'm so happy to 56 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: have you here and to dive into the fullness of 57 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 1: this book. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to 58 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: be here to talk to you about this book. Um. 59 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: I love everything that you just said, and it is 60 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 1: not lost on me, just the importance of representation. Yeah, 61 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: representation and and that divine translation, right, because it's like 62 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: I think on on in a way, it's like, on 63 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: one end visually it's the representation, but then also knowing 64 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: that you are diving into this work through your divine 65 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: translation of your lived experience in a way that is 66 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: going to free others, It's just like, ah, yeah, And 67 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: I feel as though when it comes to recovery and 68 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 1: healing around addiction, no matter what it is, not everyone 69 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: who is going to listen to this podcast or read 70 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: my book will have the experience of having a problem 71 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: with alcohol or drugs like I did, but they might 72 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 1: have another thing that they are dependent upon that is 73 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 1: impacting the quality of their life. And so hearing stories 74 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: from other people where we share our experience, strength and hope, 75 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: then we're able to just tap into the feelings and 76 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 1: tap into the energy and don't get and not get 77 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: caught up in the details. The details don't matter so much. 78 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: What matters more is the is the feelings. The feelings 79 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: and that type of energy and and having someone provide 80 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: some sort of an example, a roadmap to go from 81 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: a place of um of not having a feeling like 82 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: you don't have any options or any tools two being 83 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: shown away that can take you to a different place 84 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: in your life where you can recover parts of yourself 85 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: that you've lost. M m m hmm. Would you share 86 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 1: a bit about your road to recovery and how you 87 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: use the practices that you really unpacking this book to 88 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: connect to that deepest, highest version of you. Oh? Sure, 89 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: I try to be as concise as I can be 90 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: telling my story, but I'm not asking for concise, Okay, okay, yeah, okay, alright, then, 91 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: well here's the deal. I come from a small family, 92 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: just my father, my mom, my sister, and I and 93 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 1: my parents got together went in like the sixties, right 94 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: in the sixties in Connecticut. They were part of that 95 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: migration from the South to the North, having fled the 96 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: South for the gym craw laws and and um and 97 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: all the races and and segregation that was happening there. 98 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,039 Speaker 1: So when they when they got to Connecticut, they were 99 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 1: carrying a lot of trauma with them already of course, 100 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: UM and they met in high school, and they fell 101 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: in love, and they built this family, and and it 102 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: was an interesting family to grow up and because I 103 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: don't think anyone would identify what they were experiencing as trauma, 104 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: but I feel as though they were trying to navigate 105 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: it the best way that they could. And and substances 106 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: and addiction was a part of it. Um, It's all 107 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: over my family. So I grew up in this family 108 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 1: where where addiction was in the air, in the space 109 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: that we were in. And and you can imagine how 110 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: challenging that is for a very sensitive child, so very 111 00:07:55,720 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: sensitive child. Um. And as I was growing up, uh, 112 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: dealing with that sensitivity, dealing with the fact that I 113 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: was gay. I didn't have words for it at such 114 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 1: a young age, but I just knew that I was different, 115 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: and I knew that if I were myself that that 116 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: would be a problem. So stuffing that down right, And 117 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: the thing that brought me joy at a very young 118 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: age was movement. I would dance around the living room. 119 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 1: I would put Grace Jones on Stevie Wonder and just 120 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: dance around the living room and and transport myself. And 121 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: from there I found this connection to art and eventually 122 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,439 Speaker 1: I became a dancer, and I studied theater in high 123 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: school and eventually found my way to New York and 124 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,679 Speaker 1: and studied dance at n y U. And during that 125 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: time I came out. And part of my coming out 126 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:58,439 Speaker 1: was this exploration of of of alcohol and drugs. I 127 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: had my first drink actually when I was sixteen years old. 128 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,679 Speaker 1: I was in Germany with my dance teacher, Felicity Foot. 129 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 1: She was a German woman who had a dance school 130 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: in Greenwich, Connecticut, and she gave me a scholarship and 131 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 1: one summer she took me to Europe. Never been out 132 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: of the country before she took her students to Europe. 133 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: We performed all around Germany, in these little villages, dancing. 134 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: It was amazing. The very last night we had a 135 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 1: party at a pub. I had my first full beer. 136 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 1: Before that, I had to sit here and there. My 137 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 1: father used to give me beer when I was a baby, 138 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,959 Speaker 1: When I was um cranky, he would give me a beer, 139 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 1: give me a six of it. But I had my 140 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,839 Speaker 1: first beer, and I loved how it made me feel. 141 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: I love how it transformed me. I no longer felt shy, 142 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: I no longer felt so prickly because of my sensitivities. 143 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: I felt sexy, which is important to a fifteen sixteen 144 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: year old boy, right. I felt attractive, I felt funny, 145 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: all those things, and I literally chased that same feeling 146 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: until the day I stopped drinking at age like thirty 147 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: or thirty one years old. So um yeah. Moved to 148 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: New York, eventually became a professional dancer, sort of danced 149 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: on the stages of the Metropolitan Opera and City Opera, 150 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 1: and eventually ended up in Disney's A Lion King. Ah. 151 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: And around that time when I started doing that show 152 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: was when I crossed it, that invisible line where my 153 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 1: drinking and my drug use wasn't just for fun, it 154 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,440 Speaker 1: wasn't a social thing. I did it because I had 155 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:52,079 Speaker 1: to do it. I was I couldn't wait to get 156 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: home at the end of the day, to drink by myself, 157 00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: to do drugs by myself. And I got to the 158 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 1: point where I would look at myself in the mirror 159 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: and and and and I couldn't recognize, didn't recognize who 160 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: I saw, and was so desperate for something to change, 161 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: but I didn't have the wherewithal to to make the change. 162 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: Um and, because you know, alcohol and drugs were my solution. 163 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: They were my solution. And and I feel as though 164 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 1: my own experience as far as my relationship to two substances, 165 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,080 Speaker 1: was that I had a lot of trauma that I 166 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 1: was trying to manage. I didn't always know that that's 167 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: what I was doing, but I was trying to manage it. 168 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: And the using that I did h was a way 169 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 1: for me to self suthe and self regulate. And I 170 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: did that for as long as I could until it 171 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: didn't work anymore. So by the time I found recovery, 172 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: I I was just sick and tired of being sick 173 00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: and tired. And I had already discovered that it was 174 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 1: taking a lot of energy for me to live the 175 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,679 Speaker 1: life that I was living, and it was draining that 176 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 1: the life force energy from me. And ah and I 177 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: had thought that my using was unhealthy and that my 178 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 1: my relationship to alcohol and drugs was unhealthy, and and 179 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: and I thought about it many times, but like I said, 180 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: I didn't have that I didn't know what else to 181 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: do about it. I was powerless over it all until 182 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 1: I found a friend of mine who had long term recovery, 183 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: and he he worked really well. He was a beautiful 184 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:48,920 Speaker 1: example of recovery and sobriety. And if it weren't for 185 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: the fact that he wore so well and I was 186 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:57,320 Speaker 1: so desperate, um, I probably wouldn't have stopped that, probably 187 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't have tried something new. But literally getting sober was 188 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: like the last house on the block on a dead 189 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: end street. So so my my journey began in two 190 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: thousand one and and it was great. Twelve step recovery 191 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:20,160 Speaker 1: helped me tremendously. Therapy helped me tremendously. I had already been, 192 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 1: like I said, movement was always a big part of 193 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: my life, and I was doing energy work without knowing 194 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: I was doing energy work really with my dancing. But 195 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: it wasn't until I was ten years sober, throughout ten 196 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: years sober, that the practices that I teached in the 197 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,679 Speaker 1: book came into my life. I wrote this book because, 198 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 1: in part, I wanted to share all the tools that 199 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 1: I've learned over the last twenty years to help people 200 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 1: help themselves. And I'm also I also wrote the book 201 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: because I wanted to create something that I wish I 202 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: had when I was first getting into recovery, trying to 203 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: get sober and trying to to so it all this 204 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:06,319 Speaker 1: out for myself and um. And the book is filled 205 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: with movement, mindful movement like the chegong, but also other 206 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:15,239 Speaker 1: tools that people can use to two manage their emotions. 207 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 1: I talk a lot about fear in the book, and 208 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: shame and isolation, but I also talk about how important 209 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 1: community is and gratitude and faith. There's a lot of 210 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: writing in the book. I think writing is an important 211 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:41,080 Speaker 1: part of healing. I learned how healing writing can be 212 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: when I was doing twelve step work, because there's something 213 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: when you take pen to paper and you express your 214 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: thoughts and what's really going on for you, it changes something. 215 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: There's there's more clarity, more insight that come about. And 216 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: I wanted to provide opportunity for people to do that. 217 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: And I talked to a lot of my friends who 218 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: are in recovery as well, and I have a few 219 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 1: conversations that I share with with people in the book 220 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: because I wanted to create a sense of community. There's 221 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: no way in the world that I could have that 222 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: I could have entered this this path of recovery by myself, 223 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 1: because if I was going to do it by myself, 224 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: I would have done it before I actually did it. Yeah, yeah, okay, wow. Um. 225 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: I just want to say I the way that you 226 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: so generously described the process of how one even awakens 227 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 1: the first step too, the craving that eventually turns into 228 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: an addiction, that was incredibly powerful because I think that 229 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: is a piece that's so many and I know I 230 00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: feel in my bones that there are so many connections 231 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: being made to those listening right now. Mm hmm. You know, 232 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: I think one of the things that that confuses people 233 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: the most about addiction it's there is so much shame. 234 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 1: There is so much blame placed on the person that 235 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: becomes addicted, right There's this from outside sources very often 236 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: because of the way it disrupts the lives of people 237 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 1: around them potentially, and there isn't enough There is beginning 238 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: to be thankfully um now that we are really in 239 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 1: the era of understanding trauma in a mainstream way, but 240 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: very little attention is paid to, well, what feels so 241 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 1: good about it? You know? And I think people often think, oh, 242 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: you just want to party, or you're just trying to 243 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 1: you know, you just like being presenting like you know, 244 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: maybe even like a jerk sometimes or like this, or 245 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 1: you're like there's people speak to the effects of how 246 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: it feels is when they're in the presence of someone 247 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:05,680 Speaker 1: who is already deeply in an addiction. But the understanding 248 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,919 Speaker 1: of why it feels so good that you keep doing 249 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: it to become addicted is so important, you know it 250 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 1: is it is that you don't know you're escaping. You 251 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:22,679 Speaker 1: were actually being awakened to these new facets of you 252 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: that you can't experience on a day today basis without 253 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: that to begin with. And it's like, wow, the way 254 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,440 Speaker 1: that you broke that down, it's a revelation, I think, 255 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: you know, it really is because for so long, so 256 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,239 Speaker 1: many especially around those ages of like a you know, 257 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 1: adolescence or young adulthood, you have no idea what trauma is. 258 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 1: You have no comparisons, comparisons, you don't understand the nuance 259 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 1: of what it is to be in family or being 260 00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 1: meshed within your family unit. So you're just noticed see 261 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 1: new freedoms that are starting to come online inside of 262 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,360 Speaker 1: you and new ways that you're able to be who 263 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 1: you know you are without those other pressures. And very 264 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: often it's it's that experience that we are held in 265 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: this container of our nervous system. And for those of 266 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,440 Speaker 1: us that the nervous system is not healthy and nourished, 267 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 1: it suppresses you. It limits your possibility of who you 268 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: can be and how you can behave and you know 269 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 1: what you can accomplish. And so I see how alcohol 270 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: and drugs can feel really beautiful at first. I really 271 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: get that. Oh absolutely, I mean it was, it was. 272 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: It was a miracle. It was really a miracle, Like 273 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 1: it really felt like the lights were turned on. The 274 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 1: lights were turned on, and it was joyous. Absolutely, And honestly, 275 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: I'm really grateful that that I've had my journey with 276 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 1: alcohol and drugs, that I've had my journey with addiction. 277 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful because for so long it really helped. 278 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,680 Speaker 1: It helped keep me alive. It helped keep me alive, 279 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: because had I not had it, I might I might 280 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: have not to say that active addiction and and people 281 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: at the far end of the spectrum as far as 282 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: addiction is concerned, isn't a risky, life threatening thing. Absolutely 283 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: for many of us, it's it's a slow killing of yourself. 284 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: For others it's it can be more quick and immediate, immediate. 285 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,679 Speaker 1: But I know for me, it was my solution for 286 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 1: a long time until it wasn't anymore. Um, I couldn't imagine. 287 00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine drinking and drugging another day. But I 288 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 1: also couldn't imagine not doing it at the same time. 289 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 1: So you're at that really strange place, jumping off point 290 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 1: right where you either stay where you are and go 291 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 1: back or you jump off into this unknown space, uh 292 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,120 Speaker 1: and try something new. But it takes a some some 293 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 1: level of awareness that that something is off, something is 294 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 1: not right. I'm not living a life that feels good anymore. Um, 295 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: not living a life that's that's balanced, not living a 296 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: life that's healthy or or joyous for lack of a 297 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: better word. Yeah, yeah, you know. And I'm also noticing 298 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,159 Speaker 1: that when you come into that space, especially because you 299 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:57,399 Speaker 1: shared that this process, this addiction went on from I 300 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: believe like right around sixteen for ten years or more. Definitely. Yeah. 301 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 1: So when you when you committed to your sobriety and 302 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: you began that path of of knowing there is need 303 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: to change my life, how did it feel to begin 304 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 1: to get to know yourself for really the first time 305 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: as an adult, Because that had to have been such 306 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:26,400 Speaker 1: a process of discovering yourself discovering your body, your thoughts, 307 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: your feelings, your likes, your dislikes without that filter. Yeah, 308 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,439 Speaker 1: interesting that you say that you thank you for that question. 309 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 1: Its great. I want to add one thing is I 310 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,160 Speaker 1: talked a lot about alcohol and drugs, but the first 311 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 1: thing for me was food. Wow. When I was a 312 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 1: kid um disordered, eating was something that I did to 313 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 1: help me deal with the discomfort that I was in. 314 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:59,919 Speaker 1: My relationship to food was not It was not healthy. Ah, 315 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,959 Speaker 1: But I just so, I just wanted to put that 316 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 1: out there. But your question was what was it like 317 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 1: for me too, to go from being an active addiction 318 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:19,920 Speaker 1: to moving into recovery and getting to know myself that process? 319 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: It was? It was many things. It was many things. 320 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,679 Speaker 1: There were some aspects of about it, about it that 321 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: were difficult, for sure, but they were also aspects of 322 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: it that were magical. Uh, getting to know myself without 323 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: this veil that that rested on every part of my 324 00:22:53,160 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: body and my my mind and my heart. Ah. It's 325 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:09,680 Speaker 1: definitely a journey of self discovery, learning how to live 326 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: life on life's terms. Because I could plug four that 327 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:19,920 Speaker 1: I could play with life in interesting ways through chemicals 328 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:24,120 Speaker 1: right and through through mood and mind altering things. If 329 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 1: I didn't like how I was feeling in a certain circumstance, 330 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,119 Speaker 1: I can always change that by taking a drink, or 331 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 1: doing a drug, or smoking a cigarette. Sometimes even by 332 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 1: having sex. I could change that. Yeah. But when you 333 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:47,360 Speaker 1: when you enter recovery, you begin a process of responding 334 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 1: to life in a different way. And so there were 335 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: times that felt like they were full of wonder and 336 00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 1: awe because I was I was having these experiences that 337 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:04,720 Speaker 1: were like so revelatory for me. Um And if I 338 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:13,720 Speaker 1: could think of one in particular, Ah, for instance, doing 339 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 1: things in life and my adulthood that I would normally 340 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,679 Speaker 1: do under the influence, but suddenly during it without was 341 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: really a new experience for me. I could give you 342 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,920 Speaker 1: one thing. When I lived in New York, then, says, 343 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: you know, as I was in my twenties, back in 344 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:38,199 Speaker 1: the nineties, and rollerblading was in, and everybody was rollerblading 345 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 1: up and down the West Side Highway. And I remember 346 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,880 Speaker 1: for years I would love to roller blade and get 347 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,919 Speaker 1: high and roller blade and and just stroll around the 348 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: city in that way. And when I got sober, I 349 00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 1: got to experience those things with out without that that 350 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:08,880 Speaker 1: that elixir or that way for me to that alter 351 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 1: the way that I engage with the world. Um, when 352 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 1: I used it helped me to be more out in 353 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: the world, because essentially I'm a I'm a very shy, 354 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:26,960 Speaker 1: introverted person, and when I used it helped bring me out, 355 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 1: pushed me out into the world. And so just getting 356 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:34,159 Speaker 1: used to being uh connected to people, having relationships with people, 357 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:40,479 Speaker 1: having conversations with people in social settings, and just truly 358 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:49,479 Speaker 1: being myself unadulterated Stephen. That was revelatory for me, and 359 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: it helped me by having examples given by other people 360 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,400 Speaker 1: who were doing the same thing and me being able 361 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 1: to watch them navigate those simple things in life. I 362 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: feel like the things I'm talking about are really mundane, 363 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:10,320 Speaker 1: are really things that we take for granted. These actions, 364 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:14,640 Speaker 1: are these activities that I'm describing, but for me, they 365 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,679 Speaker 1: were challenging to do. And so that was one of 366 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 1: the things that that opened up for me when I 367 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: first got sober. And then also just my feelings. I 368 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: was starting to feel better to feel and my feelings, honestly, debby, 369 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 1: my feelings scared me. Yeah, yeah, sometimes I felt like 370 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 1: initially when I was first starting this journey, I was 371 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: afraid to feel my feelings fully. And I remember my 372 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,920 Speaker 1: friend who was also my sponsor at the time. He 373 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 1: he just would reassure me that no matter what feeling 374 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: would come up, that I was going to be okay, 375 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 1: that my feelings weren't going to kill me, and that 376 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: my feelings weren't necessarily factual. They may be happening in 377 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: the moment, but it doesn't necessarily mean that, um, what's 378 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 1: underneath them is factual. Like I say that in reference 379 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: to fear, it's we can all be fearful of certain things, 380 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,160 Speaker 1: but what we're fearful of and the fear that we're 381 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:33,200 Speaker 1: feeling aren't necessarily based in in reality of what's happening 382 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 1: in the moment, right, especially for those of us with 383 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: with very sensitive nervous systems right where we easily can 384 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 1: switch on to fight flight freeze. I just learned that 385 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,480 Speaker 1: I didn't have to be afraid of my feelings, and 386 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 1: then I can walk through difficult feelings and even joyous 387 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 1: feelings as well, because that was also kind of scary too. Yeah. Absolutely, 388 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 1: I mean you have to clear the shadow to make 389 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 1: space for the joy to be even able to feel 390 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:16,119 Speaker 1: safe in that feeling. You know how they say, you know, 391 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,639 Speaker 1: all feelings are valid. Yes, all feelings are valid because 392 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:24,160 Speaker 1: they are being felt by you and your individual experience 393 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,919 Speaker 1: in the way that you know yourself and your feelings. 394 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 1: But all feelings are not real and they're not true. 395 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 1: You know, you can be feeling something that is actually untrue, 396 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean to invalidate your experience. The feeling 397 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: is what is real inside of you, but where it 398 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,320 Speaker 1: stems from and the power it holds, that's what we 399 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,479 Speaker 1: have to investigate when we're doing some of that some 400 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: of that work. Um, you know, so wow, what a journey, 401 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,400 Speaker 1: you know, what a journey, What a beautiful journey you've 402 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:02,680 Speaker 1: been on, and what a d uh embodied knowing of 403 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,440 Speaker 1: what that entire experience has been like. And I something 404 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: that I think that I love the way that you're 405 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 1: expressing your path and I think that this is so 406 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 1: powerful and I want to directly speak to listeners right 407 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: now and knowing as you think of soul work to 408 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 1: do around this episode or any potential journaling that you 409 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 1: may do, this is the way that Stephen is expressing 410 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 1: his experience. Is what it really is to be embodied 411 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 1: in your healing. It takes it the step past the 412 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:37,000 Speaker 1: awareness or the identifying that there is something wrong, and 413 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 1: it's being able to look at all the facets of 414 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 1: how something affected you and I found for me in 415 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: my life like the sweet spot starts to come when 416 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: I've moved past some of those bigger moments and I'm 417 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,880 Speaker 1: able to notice myself in those soft moments or in 418 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 1: what someone else may deem as you know, you had said, 419 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like a big moment, and I'm like, no, yes, 420 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: it does. You know, just someone that that is also 421 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 1: you know, has has spent so much time doing that 422 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: crevice work inside of themselves. So it just it's beautiful 423 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 1: in the way that you're able. And I want to 424 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: reflect this back as everyone is listening the way Stephen 425 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: is sharing some of the more traumatic parts and life 426 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,320 Speaker 1: altering parts of what that long journey was, but from 427 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,440 Speaker 1: a place of neutrality, from a place of ease. You know, 428 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 1: when I hear you speaking to it, there is not 429 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 1: active charge, and how you are resonating with those experiences, 430 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: and it's just it's so beautiful and it's so powerful. 431 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 1: You know how I'm so interested in how you came 432 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 1: to find chi gun. How did that medicine, that beautiful, 433 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 1: um ancient modality cross your path and how did you 434 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 1: translate your movement as a dancer into working with that energy. 435 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:08,280 Speaker 1: Mm hm, that's such a delicious question. Oh my gosh. 436 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 1: I I was first exposed to che going when I 437 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: entered traditional Chinese medicine school, so back in I think 438 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:22,920 Speaker 1: it was well was when I decided that I wanted 439 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 1: to go back to school and study Chinese medicine, and 440 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:33,080 Speaker 1: I worked really hard to get into a school. I 441 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 1: had to clean up a lot of the wreckage of 442 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 1: my past in order to be able to get into 443 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: a school, and so I finally achieved that. I moved 444 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: to California to do to do that and I entered 445 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 1: the program, which was very exciting and also terrifying at 446 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 1: the same time. And it was an interesting experience because 447 00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 1: shortly after I began the program, I started to fee 448 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 1: feel fear. I started to feel fear and a lot 449 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: of old stories came to mind and that things started 450 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 1: to bubble up to the surface. So I was very 451 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 1: much in crisis when I first entered that program, and 452 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:22,680 Speaker 1: luckily what happened for me was she Gong was part 453 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:25,120 Speaker 1: of the program was part of the curriculum, and it 454 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: helped me to deal with the fear and the and 455 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: the There are so many things that were coming up 456 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: for me. Fear, shame, ah, worry, anxiety, I was having 457 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 1: panic attacks, you name it. I was having I couldn't 458 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 1: sleep at night, couldn't concentrate. And once she Gong was 459 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 1: introduced to me, I was able to take that movement practice, 460 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 1: that mindful movement practice, and allow it to do what 461 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:07,240 Speaker 1: it does, which is healing. It helps too to move 462 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 1: stuck energy in the body. That can be pain or 463 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 1: tension in your body, but that can also be emotional 464 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:19,200 Speaker 1: energy that's stuck and also mental energy that's that's uh 465 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 1: stock are overactive and just to bring balance. I desperately 466 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:29,080 Speaker 1: needed it. So between the movements and and breath is 467 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 1: a very important part of checking and also focused intention 468 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:39,520 Speaker 1: mm hmm. It shifted everything for me. It provided so 469 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 1: much ease. It got my cheek on, gets my mind 470 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 1: unstuck right, It gives me space. It gives me space 471 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 1: in my body, but it also gives me space in 472 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 1: my heart and in my mind. When the practice was 473 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 1: first introduced to me, I was able to really work 474 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 1: with the medicine to get to a place where I 475 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 1: was able to pull out of the panic, pull out 476 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,759 Speaker 1: of the worry, put pull out of the fear, and 477 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,439 Speaker 1: just discover, Okay, Stephen, what's true for you? What's really 478 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: true for you? What is it that you want out 479 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:19,160 Speaker 1: of this experience? And I came to a very difficult 480 00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 1: at first realization was that I didn't want to be 481 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:26,560 Speaker 1: a Chinese medicine doctor. I was so sure that that's 482 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,239 Speaker 1: what I wanted to do, and I was so caught 483 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:32,440 Speaker 1: up in this idea of while I've made that decision, 484 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 1: I can't change my mind. You can't change your mind. 485 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,439 Speaker 1: If you make a decision, you just have to follow through. 486 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,759 Speaker 1: What are people going to think if you change your mind? 487 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 1: All these things? Che Goong helped me to just let 488 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 1: all that fall away and come to a point of 489 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:52,600 Speaker 1: peace and surrender, and it also helped me to focus. 490 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 1: I was only in the program for a semester, and 491 00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,239 Speaker 1: by the end of that semester, I was kicking ass 492 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,919 Speaker 1: and I still knew that it was that it wasn't 493 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 1: what I wanted to do. Yeah, and I was. I 494 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:10,320 Speaker 1: made peace with that. So that whole process, and within 495 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:15,400 Speaker 1: that process, I was this close two relapsing because I 496 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,319 Speaker 1: was feeling so much and I didn't know how to 497 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: deal with it, and and I was very afraid that 498 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 1: I was going to lose my sobriety over it. So 499 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,439 Speaker 1: the the she going, along with all the other things 500 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 1: that I was doing, change everything for me. And it 501 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 1: told me that this is something that's going to be 502 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 1: a part of my life for the rest of my life. 503 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 1: And it's something that I want to share with others 504 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: because it's powerful medicine, and the medicine lives within each 505 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:49,319 Speaker 1: and every one of us. It's there, it's available. We 506 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,760 Speaker 1: just we just need to learn a little bit about 507 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 1: our energy and how to be mindful of it and 508 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 1: and and gain some skill around how to manage energy 509 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,480 Speaker 1: and how to cultivate it and how to release what 510 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:09,800 Speaker 1: no longer serves us. M m m. We have at 511 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 1: the beginning of my checking journey. We have all the 512 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,759 Speaker 1: tools right. Everything is already within us. It's just lying 513 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 1: dormant until we're able to activate it or clear enough 514 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,560 Speaker 1: away from its path for it to emerge. Mm hmm. Wow. 515 00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,680 Speaker 1: What are you hoping people take away from this book? 516 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,120 Speaker 1: Where are you hoping it allows them to go on 517 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:39,320 Speaker 1: their journey. Yeah, well, I hope that people what people 518 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,000 Speaker 1: get from this book is a sense that they're not alone. 519 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,279 Speaker 1: Mm hmm, that whatever it is that they're going through, 520 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:51,960 Speaker 1: whatever challenges that they're facing, that they're not alone. I 521 00:36:52,080 --> 00:37:00,759 Speaker 1: also mm hmm. I also want people to to note 522 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:07,120 Speaker 1: that they are worthy of change, recovery, transformation, because I 523 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,080 Speaker 1: think there's an element, at least for me, there's an 524 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 1: element of feeling that a better life, that that a 525 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 1: new level of healing wasn't available to me because of 526 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:26,720 Speaker 1: shame or some sense of not being worthy. And also 527 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:32,720 Speaker 1: I would I want people two get a series of tools, 528 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 1: a basket of recovery toolbox, I like to call it, 529 00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,600 Speaker 1: in the book of tools that they can use to 530 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:43,200 Speaker 1: help themselves live a better life, a more conscious and 531 00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 1: joyous life, whatever that looks like for them. Mm hmm. Everyone, 532 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 1: do yourself a favor, get this book. And I have 533 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,839 Speaker 1: a feeling that some listen mean there's somebody in your 534 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:06,799 Speaker 1: life you've earmarked as this book could be really really revelatory, 535 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:11,480 Speaker 1: and so everything will be linked as always beneath in 536 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:15,680 Speaker 1: the summary. So if you're listening on your podcast, if 537 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 1: you scroll down to the summary, there will be a 538 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:19,399 Speaker 1: link click it you'll be able to get the book 539 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,480 Speaker 1: straight directly there. And Stephen, how can people connect with 540 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 1: you and how can they join you in Chi Gung? Yes, 541 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 1: so people can connect with me at Stephen Washington Experience 542 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 1: dot com. That is my website and there you'll see 543 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,440 Speaker 1: that I also have a membership community where I teach 544 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,959 Speaker 1: a Pilates Cheegong fusion class and I also create other 545 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,080 Speaker 1: content with that community. And you'll also be able to 546 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,920 Speaker 1: buy my book there. You can get it in paperback 547 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:54,120 Speaker 1: the book also audio book as well, and you'll also 548 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,359 Speaker 1: find all my online courses that I teach that are 549 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,760 Speaker 1: available to everyone. So there's a lot there. So Stephen 550 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 1: Washington Experienced dot com and I'm still dying and I'm 551 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,680 Speaker 1: gonna have to text you about this off interview because 552 00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm still dying to take a one on one class 553 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 1: with you. Um Pilates changed my life and it was 554 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 1: such a huge activator in my personal journey of learning 555 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,319 Speaker 1: how to be in my body. It was my I 556 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:26,000 Speaker 1: didn't initially connect to yoga UM I do now gratefully, 557 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:30,240 Speaker 1: but my first pathway was actually Joseph Pilates. His system 558 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:34,160 Speaker 1: of I believe to be a system of awakening. Um 559 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: that he shared. And it's so funny because I think 560 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,839 Speaker 1: a lot of people hear about pilates from the much 561 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:43,640 Speaker 1: more privileged perspective of it being very often very expensive 562 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 1: class to take any typically you know it it's been 563 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:51,280 Speaker 1: portrayed and kind of stereotyped as being something that's luxury 564 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,799 Speaker 1: maybe for white women, and you know, maybe you know, 565 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 1: if you have the freedom to do it, like it's 566 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 1: just trendy, But it is a powerful tool of awakening. 567 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 1: It teaches you how to know your body like nothing 568 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 1: I've ever known. It teaches you how to feel parts 569 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:12,360 Speaker 1: of your body that you didn't know existed. Um, it 570 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,320 Speaker 1: was just it was one of the most beautiful tools 571 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 1: I put in my toolbox in my journey. And then 572 00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,200 Speaker 1: that mixed with ch Gong, I'm just I can't wait 573 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:23,839 Speaker 1: till I get to get in front of you and 574 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 1: get all of that medicine and magic. Thank you, Thank 575 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,879 Speaker 1: you so much for joining us on dropping gems. Thank 576 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 1: you for writing this book once again, everyone recovering you 577 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:41,440 Speaker 1: Soul Care and Mindful Movement for Overcoming Addiction by Stephen Washington. 578 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 1: So grateful for your time. Thank you for having me 579 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,919 Speaker 1: and so good to lay my eyes on you. I know, 580 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:56,360 Speaker 1: and I know so good, so good. Thank you, my friends, 581 00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:01,520 Speaker 1: thank you another big thank you for joining us on 582 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:06,600 Speaker 1: this very beautiful episode. Once again, Steven's book it's available 583 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:13,520 Speaker 1: November two, so very very soon and at post time 584 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,800 Speaker 1: of recording this episode. And of course this book is 585 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:20,080 Speaker 1: called Recovering You, Soul Care and mindful movement for overcoming addiction. 586 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,760 Speaker 1: And in this book, you know, he shares his story 587 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,759 Speaker 1: as well as a wide variety of tools that are 588 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:31,040 Speaker 1: designed to help readers more intimately connect themselves with their lives. 589 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: So there's a lot of incredible practices in their Reflections movement. Uh, 590 00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,600 Speaker 1: definitely check that out. Share this episode with a friend 591 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,240 Speaker 1: if you feel so called, give us a five star review, 592 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:46,359 Speaker 1: write a little review. Big gratitude for everyone that has 593 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,000 Speaker 1: taken time to do that. I had a chance to 594 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,719 Speaker 1: catch up and read so many and deeply blessed me. 595 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,800 Speaker 1: So grateful to be able to be here and grateful 596 00:41:55,880 --> 00:42:02,879 Speaker 1: to keep going all right until next time. Hey find 597 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:06,760 Speaker 1: me on social Let's connect at Debbie Brown. That's Twitter 598 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:10,960 Speaker 1: and Instagram, or go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. 599 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,680 Speaker 1: And if you're listening to the show on Apple podcasts. 600 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:19,959 Speaker 1: Please please, please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe, 601 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,960 Speaker 1: and send this episode to a friend. Dropping Jims is 602 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,720 Speaker 1: the production of I Heart Radio and the Black Effect Network. 603 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,719 Speaker 1: It's produced by Jackie's and me, Debbie Brown. For more 604 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,879 Speaker 1: podcasts from My heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, 605 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,600 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.