Speaker 1: Well, welcome back to another episode of Auto Miss Sammy
Speaker 1: host Kevin that, Kevin, no too many cooks in the
Speaker 1: kitchen is a good thing, and yes, I am shooting
Speaker 1: an episode of Pete Bobby Flay next week to prove
Speaker 1: this theory. You're welcome, but I digress. Let's meet our
Speaker 1: aim is, shall we in no particular order? Let's quickly
Speaker 1: check in with James Heeney for his Oddities from Around
Speaker 1: the World segment. You know what, with all the juggling,
Speaker 1: I didn't hit record on zoom. I'm sorry, I was right.
Speaker 1: Can we started? Cat? Hey? Good catch at first, you know,
Speaker 1: thirty seconds, then seventeen minutes in. Plus I believe I
Speaker 1: have a little experience with giving more than one take. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you want me to welcome back to another yet
Speaker 1: on before it's a little much. Uh yeah, okay, welcome
Speaker 1: back to another episode of Alchemy this. I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin Pollock? What's that? No? Too
Speaker 1: many cooks in the kitchen is a good thing? And yes,
Speaker 1: I am shooting an episode of Beat Bobby Flay next
Speaker 1: week to prove my theory. But I digress. Let's make
Speaker 1: an archamis shot. We in no particular or let's quickly
Speaker 1: checking with James Heeney for his Oddities from around the
Speaker 1: World segment. Jimmy John Okay, uh, the most odd thing
Speaker 1: from around the world. I have a whole like I
Speaker 1: have a a piece of saran wrap that I've wrapped
Speaker 1: around a bunch of coins from all over the world.
Speaker 1: I found out that they're worth basically nothing, but they
Speaker 1: look like maybe treasure. How many coins? I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's you know, I didn't realize that the your corner,
Speaker 1: your Oddities from around the World corner was going to
Speaker 1: be about your very own possessions. But I'm I'm sort
Speaker 1: of thrilled, but I'm also curious. How many coins make
Speaker 1: up this seran rap bag of coins? So it's about
Speaker 1: twelve quinch? I mean, I gotta be honderstand. Wasn't expecting
Speaker 1: an around the world question. I don't have anything on
Speaker 1: the world. I guess we'll do improv later and you feel, hey,
Speaker 1: there's Jack and Gonzalez. Third thing, the D is for
Speaker 1: dancing machine. How did you learn to dance as a teenager? Wow? Well,
Speaker 1: actually we had as a pre teenager. They were like
Speaker 1: that our parents would put together. So uh, like a
Speaker 1: group of like twelve, like six girls and six boys
Speaker 1: would go to someone's house and get like a lesson
Speaker 1: on how to at as a preteen, this happen, and
Speaker 1: that was as a pre teen. As a teenager, I
Speaker 1: learned on the streets and on the on the dance
Speaker 1: floor straight up the way the rest of it. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's fair. Yeah, Oh and um, Dance Empire. I'll shout
Speaker 1: out Dance Empire for like the five classes that I
Speaker 1: took there in high school. Shout out to Dance Empire.
Speaker 1: Dig it and thank you. Now please welcome back a tool,
Speaker 1: sing Jennie. When did you change your name to a tool?
Speaker 1: I didn't realize I had this access, did you? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not even sure what the first version of it is. Um,
Speaker 1: that's the born name, So I'm not quite sure what
Speaker 1: data it is. If you're talking about pronunciation, it was
Speaker 1: very early on. If you're talking about the name I
Speaker 1: use an elementary school, then they'll change at middle school.
Speaker 1: And that's where I'll leave that. That's why you'll leave
Speaker 1: that teases a whopper and lets it go talking about
Speaker 1: catch and release. Hey, last, but only one lays potato
Speaker 1: chip If you think him least it's Mark Gagliardi bed
Speaker 1: rock boy favorite punch line from an animal that was
Speaker 1: a weirdly functioning tool on the Flintstones. Please didn't they
Speaker 1: all have the exact same punchline, which was, it's a
Speaker 1: lamb on a record player. Yeah, exactly. A pterodactyl was
Speaker 1: the record player. There's like a probably a broad asaurus,
Speaker 1: I would guess was their garage door opener, probably had
Speaker 1: like a little baby raptor. As their just said, it's
Speaker 1: a living, it's it's a living, and thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Let's do a damn show. All of our scene suggestions,
Speaker 1: of course, gathered from your listener emails and I love
Speaker 1: reading them. Chris reads them and enjoined us too. We
Speaker 1: have a shared doct that we load them into now
Speaker 1: and um, thank you all so very much for responding
Speaker 1: to our my outcry from more and now we we
Speaker 1: um we have a lot, but if you would like
Speaker 1: to keep setting them in, I can't thank you enough
Speaker 1: and encourage you to do so. Um if you, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: right to us at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. However,
Speaker 1: before I repeat that, we do have a lot of
Speaker 1: scenes sug justice coming in from our Patriots supporters. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: now you may be wondering, well, Patriot supporter, why is
Speaker 1: that a thing? What happens for that? Well, as a
Speaker 1: supporter of the show, you might have an option or
Speaker 1: an opportunity to join us in our zoom recording sessions.
Speaker 1: That's right right now, there is an alcomaniac that's the
Speaker 1: highest level of patrons support in our zoom session who
Speaker 1: is uh able to hang out with us beforehand, during
Speaker 1: to watch and then afterwards to chat some more. It's
Speaker 1: quite the experience and I'm sure Catherine will be writing
Speaker 1: about it soon and I'll share those reviews with you. Um.
Speaker 1: We also record stat alone bonus scenes for you. There's
Speaker 1: all kinds of perks as a Patron supporter. If you'd
Speaker 1: like to join that effort, head on over to patron
Speaker 1: dot com. Slash alchemy This that email again if you'd
Speaker 1: like to just write in a scene suggestion via email
Speaker 1: is alchemy this email at gmail dot com, Email dot com.
Speaker 1: Such a strange and wonderful tradition. Seen one comes from
Speaker 1: listener Josh, who wrote to that very email. Hi there,
Speaker 1: Kevin and co. Your call to email has been heard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just kind of went over that, Josh, He goes on,
Speaker 1: would you please explore what might happen in the following scenario.
Speaker 1: There is a nice organization full of caring, positive conflict
Speaker 1: adverse people who believe in giving others the benefit of
Speaker 1: the doubt. They employ and ours whole in parentheses. Asshole?
Speaker 1: Uh what happens next? Josh from Perth, Australia, Hence the
Speaker 1: use of the word ours. Okay, okay, superheroes, how are
Speaker 1: you filling this quarter? A little nervous, A little nervous,
Speaker 1: but happy. You know, we've our numbers are okay, they're
Speaker 1: not great. But as long as as long as all
Speaker 1: of our customers are satisfied. That's It's not about the
Speaker 1: number of customers, is about how happy we make them, right, bus. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: we are going to switch things up this quarter. So
Speaker 1: INVISI man, you're actually going to be in charge of robberies.
Speaker 1: That's this, that's your that's your call this quarter. Oh cool,
Speaker 1: that's exciting. That's for you. Armor boy. I just want
Speaker 1: to clarify, is he committing robberies? Now? He's he's going
Speaker 1: to help um stop robberies stop. I think it's going
Speaker 1: to be a great fit for me. Thank you, good leadership.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh my gosh, thank you. I'm our boy. Um,
Speaker 1: you're taking on murders, so thank you. I will not
Speaker 1: I will not let you down. I appreciate the trust
Speaker 1: in me, and I appreciate it. Thank you, UM stretching man,
Speaker 1: you're taking on your taking on um violent assault. Oh gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm not well. I'm happy to do it. As Look
Speaker 1: as long as as long as all of our customers
Speaker 1: are happy and satisfied with with what we give them
Speaker 1: as superheroes, and and we take care of them, that's
Speaker 1: what matters. That's what matters. Yes, and um son son
Speaker 1: men in Yeah, try not to be so confused by
Speaker 1: its sun Man. Yes, I gather power from the sun
Speaker 1: and use it any damn way, I please? And you
Speaker 1: omit those rays? Yeah? Can you put Yeah? Put it.
Speaker 1: That's going to happen when the sun free put in
Speaker 1: him because we're a team team two letters and team
Speaker 1: m E four letters. But okay letters to well some
Speaker 1: man you are you have the task of um do
Speaker 1: I do I have that task for this quarter? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: you can do it, sun man. We believe in you,
Speaker 1: son man, We believe in you know. I didn't mean,
Speaker 1: uh was I capable of doing it? I am sure
Speaker 1: I'm capable of doing all of these assignments. While I sleep,
Speaker 1: I was questioning, is this the best use of my powers? Right? Um?
Speaker 1: You know, we just kind of we like to switch
Speaker 1: it up to that no one gets so it's just
Speaker 1: for one quarter. I'm just the mouthpiece. Uh. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm just speaking on your behalves of we do need
Speaker 1: someone to kind of run the show. If some man
Speaker 1: wants my murders, I'll give him my murders and and
Speaker 1: I'll take terrorism. Will that make you happy? Son man?
Speaker 1: I don't know that any of these options are going
Speaker 1: to make me quote unquote happy. Uh. And also I
Speaker 1: would love to see you mess up the murders assignment.
Speaker 1: So no, I'm not going to switch with you. You're funny.
Speaker 1: You know what's really funny, son Man, is sometimes it's
Speaker 1: kind of hard to be happy. But if you think
Speaker 1: it with a smile, sometimes it kind of X you
Speaker 1: you know. And that's why when I'm doing any of
Speaker 1: the crime stopping I do. What was your superpower again? Well,
Speaker 1: I can be invisible, so sometimes it sometimes it doesn't
Speaker 1: really come across as much. But you'd be surprised they
Speaker 1: can hear it in my poe. Right. So is your
Speaker 1: nickname perv man? Um? Okay, No, Well, I'd like to
Speaker 1: put a vote to the superhero team m that's his
Speaker 1: new nickname, perv Man. Look, everyone knows if you have
Speaker 1: the power of invisibility what you're doing with it. Okay, Wow,
Speaker 1: maybe that's just a personal choice that you would make. No,
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's he wouldn't do that either, nobody. Let's
Speaker 1: go around and ask everybody what's the first thing they
Speaker 1: would do if they had the power of invisibility. Let's
Speaker 1: start with can I go for giggles? Let's go with
Speaker 1: the armor man? What do you got? All right? I
Speaker 1: would use his powers the same as he would to
Speaker 1: stop crying. Yeah, high five? Well I didn't see your
Speaker 1: out there? It is okay, okay? And then what was
Speaker 1: the other are me? Stretchy man? That's such a put
Speaker 1: a quarter in the jar? I'm so sorry to be
Speaker 1: a stickler about that. Yeah. Yeah, if I was invisible,
Speaker 1: I would just you know, I guess I just follow
Speaker 1: people if they dropped something, and then I'd pick it
Speaker 1: up and put it back in their pocket for them,
Speaker 1: so they wouldn't be embarrassed that they dropped something and
Speaker 1: they had to have the stranger started. Is it really
Speaker 1: so when you say you would put it back in
Speaker 1: their pocket, that's a little invasion. Everybody on the ground.
Speaker 1: Put your hands off in the air. But stay on
Speaker 1: the don't look at me, don't look at me coming
Speaker 1: up the site. You got it, but just a sick
Speaker 1: Everyone else called out, I'm just for you too, right,
Speaker 1: damn it? Alright, guys, I'm a member of a superhero talking.
Speaker 1: I well you don't know because I'm invisible. Say that now,
Speaker 1: but most of those people would be seen saying it,
Speaker 1: and you don't see me. Right, how about high five
Speaker 1: to you? Buck? Really? So there it is. I mean
Speaker 1: it could get a lot worse. But if you guys
Speaker 1: just pack your bags and head out. Ski Um, no harm,
Speaker 1: no fault. I need this money. Uh, this is how
Speaker 1: I want to get it. So that seems fair. I
Speaker 1: mean she's made her case pretty well. Okay, okay, that
Speaker 1: sounds well. Why don't you help us, in visible freak
Speaker 1: wherever you are, and then you will get out of
Speaker 1: you You get out of your way, well that much
Speaker 1: quicker and nobody gets hurt. Well, you can do this
Speaker 1: without stealing. Let's just everybody here the ground. We're going
Speaker 1: to be stealing makes What if I said stealing makes
Speaker 1: me happy? It gets rock visible person. What if we're
Speaker 1: borrowing the money and not stealing it? Are you borrowing?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say yes, Well, I'll tell you I can
Speaker 1: help you with that. I can help you guys with that.
Speaker 1: But you're gonna pay. We're not paying it back, We're
Speaker 1: bringing it back. We're actually just physically borrowing it from
Speaker 1: this location for three days and then bringing it right back.
Speaker 1: We're gonna put it in an other banks, so we
Speaker 1: are going to return it to US bank. That sounds
Speaker 1: solid to me. I mean, I believe people are inherently good.
Speaker 1: Can these people stand up? They probably don't want to
Speaker 1: be laying. I don't want them to look in my face.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel uncomfortable. It's an invasion of a
Speaker 1: privacy if you understand. Hey, I get it. People don't
Speaker 1: get to look at my face and I have a
Speaker 1: sore face. So that's enough. I'm sorry that was a snotty.
Speaker 1: I mean, you were making a point and God pleasure.
Speaker 1: It was pretty pretty sweet, pretty convincing. You slipped me
Speaker 1: a convince it. My old boss used to say, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Now, can you help with the safe opening
Speaker 1: by any chance? Yeah, I'm sure who's who's the manager here?
Speaker 1: I'm the manager. Can we get the safe number? These
Speaker 1: guys are gonna bring it back in a few days,
Speaker 1: and if we can wrap this up, nobody will get hurt.
Speaker 1: Mr Invisible, We we respect your talents, but unfortunately I
Speaker 1: do not believe that they will be bringing them. He
Speaker 1: shut and let's just kind of from snipe. You're lucky
Speaker 1: I don't have my quarter jar here because you guys
Speaker 1: are speaking pretty naughty here. Yeah. Uh, you know what
Speaker 1: I just gotta say, Professor Boss that we should really
Speaker 1: be commending in Vision man for what he did the
Speaker 1: other day. I mean, we were all gonna go and
Speaker 1: watch him. We're gonna have that big party when they
Speaker 1: bring the money back in a couple of days. I just,
Speaker 1: I just I just really want can we put a
Speaker 1: sticker for him on the board. I mean, he doesn't
Speaker 1: even have room from any more stickers next to his name.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to be a damper. I never
Speaker 1: want to be a damper on the piano keys of
Speaker 1: this team. I never want to be a damper on
Speaker 1: the piano keys of this team. Does sound familiar? Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: I don't want to stop the sound. I want to
Speaker 1: keep the sound reverberating around that good, good energy. But
Speaker 1: this quarter was really really rang. Uh. This is a
Speaker 1: man you helped. Uh, you helped a team of two
Speaker 1: steal over. No no no no no no no no
Speaker 1: no no no no no no no. It sounds like
Speaker 1: you've been hanging out with sun Man. But I thought
Speaker 1: Sun Man, I mean I didn't hang out outside of this,
Speaker 1: of this meeting and tell your dating just just don't
Speaker 1: you're dating sun Man. Of course you haven't given anyone
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt and the whole day. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: go on a for you dates. I wouldn't say. We
Speaker 1: haven't really labeled it. We went for coffee the first time,
Speaker 1: no nobody got hurt, nobody got invaded. And then uh
Speaker 1: the second time, well, I just want to say that
Speaker 1: they aren't that wasn't stealing, that wasn't stealing. They're bringing
Speaker 1: it back and we're throwing a party. And I thought
Speaker 1: that we had we'll get together and throw the party.
Speaker 1: Well here's the thing. We have Armor man who was
Speaker 1: supposed to stop a gruesome murderer of five, and the
Speaker 1: murderer was able to convince you that murdering these people
Speaker 1: would bring them joy, and you let that happen. But
Speaker 1: you should have heard what he said to me. Do
Speaker 1: you want to hear what happened? So what I'm saying is,
Speaker 1: if you'll let me guilt these people. You're telling me,
Speaker 1: these are the worst people in the world. Remember reading, remembering,
Speaker 1: and you know how all of this offspring changed their
Speaker 1: last night. I've been tracking down the real Hitler's my
Speaker 1: entire life, and these five. So this is like that
Speaker 1: that that famous kind of uh, what do you call it?
Speaker 1: Situation where like if you could go back in time,
Speaker 1: but we're in the present and we have an option
Speaker 1: to kill Hitler. Sure, but I'm saying these are offspring, Yeah,
Speaker 1: offspring kids, Well, all grow up now, it's been a while,
Speaker 1: but they have children. He's already killed a couple of children.
Speaker 1: Any kind of these Hitler's when they change their names.
Speaker 1: So these five are the ones I've been able to
Speaker 1: catch so far. What I'm saying is, if you allow
Speaker 1: me to remove them from loving society, it's gonna be good.
Speaker 1: Shut up over there. I just you just what you
Speaker 1: want to explain yourself, Hitler, I don't want to. First
Speaker 1: of all, I took a twenty three and me and
Speaker 1: I'm barely even German. Okay. But secondly, oh, how uh
Speaker 1: you know? I guess I don't have anything else to
Speaker 1: say except I think he plans on wearing our skin.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
Speaker 1: I don't know who to believe here. It's just so confusing.
Speaker 1: But the problem is, armor man, is that those five
Speaker 1: nuns that he killed were the only ones who worked
Speaker 1: at the orphanage on center Field and Sixth. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't know that he said they were Hitlers. Can I
Speaker 1: put a sticker next to his name on the board?
Speaker 1: I I don't have any stickers to give this. It's okay,
Speaker 1: I'm super stretchy. I'll reach over to the staple store
Speaker 1: down the street. Got them stickers, stretch Man. Let's not
Speaker 1: even get what Yeah off, sir um. We had a
Speaker 1: bunch of stickers and stuff here and then they were stolen.
Speaker 1: We looked at the camera and we got some footage
Speaker 1: on who might have taken them. So we just like
Speaker 1: to follow report. And why don't you go ahead and
Speaker 1: show me the video we have. Sure we have to
Speaker 1: go in the bet and you want to write any
Speaker 1: of this down? Officer? What am I waitress? No show
Speaker 1: me the video? You said you had video? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to I mean, nothing wrong with being
Speaker 1: a waitress either. I was trying to insult you. I
Speaker 1: was just saying I thought you had to follow me
Speaker 1: to write down. And then the guy who was assistant
Speaker 1: manager at Staples said something important. Actually, actually I'm you're
Speaker 1: probably remember me from last time. I'm general manager. Now
Speaker 1: what happened to general? Yeah? Cong did you have to
Speaker 1: go through some sort of qualifying process? Yeah? Yeah, well
Speaker 1: somebody they just pointed around the room until you're razed.
Speaker 1: Terry did quit um, but I think I was. I
Speaker 1: was getting primed and prepped for this band. I'm sure.
Speaker 1: So let's show me to tape then, Yeah, I get
Speaker 1: a parking spot. Now, so you're the general manager? Can
Speaker 1: we call you the gr Thank you? Yeah? I make
Speaker 1: some of the employees call me that. They don't like it,
Speaker 1: but we're well GM, twinkle nuts. Why don't you show
Speaker 1: me to tape? Now? It's it's pronounced to uncle all
Speaker 1: right here we go. No, that's okay, Wait, what was
Speaker 1: the pressing play? I'm sorry, what was that? Let me
Speaker 1: play right there? Yeah, I thought that's that the thing
Speaker 1: you're talking about, That's what I'm talking about. Normally we
Speaker 1: have some teenagers, some preteens coming here, just like the
Speaker 1: hand of arm I know some of my employees think
Speaker 1: it was Stretching Man. We don't want to point fingers,
Speaker 1: but I think we need the point fingers. I mean,
Speaker 1: who we have the tape. I really love giving gold stars,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't sound like you saved the day, Mr
Speaker 1: stretching Man. Well, I put a sticker next to your name.
Speaker 1: I put a sticker next to Army Man's name. And
Speaker 1: do you even think that in Vision Man deserves that,
Speaker 1: considering he was supposed to be in charge of rob
Speaker 1: Breeze and you technically robbed the staples and he didn't
Speaker 1: do anything about it. I was, oh, oh, I didn't
Speaker 1: even think about the fact that that might have been
Speaker 1: a robbery. I'm just so used to having these stretchy
Speaker 1: arms so I can just kind of reach around town
Speaker 1: and grab whatever I want whenever I want. Let's not
Speaker 1: even talk about the assaults that you were supposed to
Speaker 1: stop or at least help. The real problem is sun
Speaker 1: man police here. How did the police, um you become invisible? You? Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: sorry son man here, I might have told a couple
Speaker 1: of the police guys where the breath? Well listen. They
Speaker 1: didn't wanted donations. I didn't have any money on me,
Speaker 1: so I said, how about if I tell you where
Speaker 1: our secret layer is? And then then one thing leads
Speaker 1: to the anyways, this is this is gonna be a
Speaker 1: problem with our relationship. But why don't you you go in,
Speaker 1: officer dunk Balls? What can we do for you? It's
Speaker 1: pronounced dump coomba And uh, I'm just here. We're following
Speaker 1: up on a case. My partner is at the local
Speaker 1: Staples Staples store yuh um uh huh oh that's who
Speaker 1: we're looking for right there, Mr stretchy man. Do you
Speaker 1: think we could come down to downtown and answer a
Speaker 1: few questions for us? I you know I would, But
Speaker 1: I'm right in the middle of a meeting here, and
Speaker 1: I've been here all day eating this big bucket of
Speaker 1: chicken from can't see that this one right here? What
Speaker 1: the hell is going on? Who's the manager here of
Speaker 1: the of this team. We don't have a manager anymore
Speaker 1: since Terry left, but somebody's gonna get his parking space soon.
Speaker 1: But Professor Boss is technically the boss. I don't know
Speaker 1: what kind of meeting or team you're running, but I
Speaker 1: need to borrow him, and you need to and the
Speaker 1: meeting or release him well without a wall, aren't I'm
Speaker 1: not sure that I do need to do any of that.
Speaker 1: I haven't warned. Also, stretching man, couldn't you stretch on
Speaker 1: down to his office before him and come right back.
Speaker 1: You can only stretch one body part at a time.
Speaker 1: I can't stretch my whole body places. I don't. That
Speaker 1: is a limitation. All right, still needs you downtown, So
Speaker 1: let's once you get in the car that's right outside
Speaker 1: the layer. Let's go, buddy, Before you go, Stretching man,
Speaker 1: can I ask a real quick question, as the new
Speaker 1: guy and the group, is the stretchy thing you you
Speaker 1: can do? Uh, one extremity at a time? Does that
Speaker 1: make you extraordinarily popular with your sexual preferred partners? All
Speaker 1: women want is for a really long, stretchy thing to
Speaker 1: reach our our organs in our chest. He could be gay,
Speaker 1: I said, sexual preference. Yeah, so it doesn't. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: not because I know what that's what men want, and
Speaker 1: it's seen one. I just in a tool character to
Speaker 1: insist that that's what he wants. See two comes from
Speaker 1: patrin Acomaniac Kevin Product, who wrote, Hey, did you know
Speaker 1: that in the early nineteen forties, New York City made
Speaker 1: pinball machines illegal? Yeah? Me neither, but don't worry. In
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy six the city reversed the law or repealed it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not a lawyer, so please don't
Speaker 1: sue me. Seen suggestion speak easy but for pinball. Thanks
Speaker 1: Tommy Johnson the surgery six oh two. Alright, come on
Speaker 1: in you what you got? Got the new machines? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we got the good. We got the good Adams Family. Yeah. Oh,
Speaker 1: in the Twilight Zone we got the Adam's family got
Speaker 1: the Twilight Zone. We even got uh the Monhak madness
Speaker 1: back in the back. We got Monhak madness in the back.
Speaker 1: Here here's your here's your stein of Stein of Tolkins.
Speaker 1: Thank you so damn much. Hey, just remember where you got.
Speaker 1: We're all big fans of yours. Here, just so you know,
Speaker 1: we read, we read the paper yesterday. We're all big
Speaker 1: fans of yours, Thanks very much. What was your name?
Speaker 1: My name? Yeah? Man, you want my given name or
Speaker 1: you want my nickname. Let's start with a given name.
Speaker 1: My given name is Peter. And they call you David.
Speaker 1: It's cool, David. Can I call you David? Please call
Speaker 1: me David. I'll be in the back if anybody asks.
Speaker 1: We're big fans of yours here, man, Hell of a
Speaker 1: thing you did? Hell of a thing you did? Man?
Speaker 1: Did I have a choice? Excuse me? Um? Is I'm
Speaker 1: here to play some pin balls? This the player password? Oh?
Speaker 1: So there's pinball machines here? Is that clear password? So?
Speaker 1: Can you just give me a yes or no? If
Speaker 1: there's pinball machines behind the store? Do you think I'm
Speaker 1: an idiot? You're supposed to tuck the wire underneath your shirt?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what are you doing back in the vad
Speaker 1: You're supposed to go bust us sticking out? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's my bad. That could have got you killed. I
Speaker 1: can't go back. He's seen my face. You should go.
Speaker 1: He hasn't seen you. Yeah, you put here. Let me
Speaker 1: take this off. It's here, you go now you wear
Speaker 1: it Okay, can you see it? No, you gotta stick
Speaker 1: it in right here? Yeah, there it is all right,
Speaker 1: this is your first time out there. Just remember we
Speaker 1: got you. Okay, this is a little the microphone. Alright.
Speaker 1: She it's me. I'm a normal Just be yourself, all right.
Speaker 1: But I'm supposed to blend in with like organized crime. Okay,
Speaker 1: but just do what you got you know what to do? Luck? Password? Ah?
Speaker 1: A password? Wow? Uh oh? Let's see here. H is
Speaker 1: there pinball inside password? I think it's Thomas Surgery Room
Speaker 1: two six. Do you think I'm an idiot? Huh? You're
Speaker 1: still wearing your badge around your neck. All right, we're
Speaker 1: both burned. We're both burned. Ship all right, ship, excuse me, sir. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't need to enter your establishment. I was just
Speaker 1: wondering if you wanted to buy some chocolates. I just
Speaker 1: was wondering if you would like to buy some chocolates.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to fund my six hundred and third surgery
Speaker 1: pass word. Um, I have dark chocolate milk chocolate. My
Speaker 1: name is Tommy. Do you think I'm an idiot? What? Wait?
Speaker 1: What did you say? Your name was Tommy? And Tommy?
Speaker 1: What my last name? Is Dillard. But I'm I'm here
Speaker 1: selling job. It's because I'm trying to fund my six
Speaker 1: hundred and third six oh three surgery. So if you're
Speaker 1: not going to do it for anything else, close enough,
Speaker 1: Come on in, what come on in? Come on in.
Speaker 1: Here's your stein full of tokens. Whoa wait, is this
Speaker 1: like real money? Put that down? Don't let not until
Speaker 1: the door shut. Oh sorry, sorry, Okay, now let the
Speaker 1: door shut. It's not real money. Those are tokens, a
Speaker 1: little gold coins. When was the last time you use
Speaker 1: little gold coins to buy anything? No? I never have. Look,
Speaker 1: here's the deal. We got all the we got all
Speaker 1: the machines you want, any machine you want to play.
Speaker 1: Those tokens are good for him. There's only one. Will
Speaker 1: do not go in the back room. There's a v
Speaker 1: I P back there right now? Okay, okay, there's a
Speaker 1: v I P back there with a lot of money
Speaker 1: and a real sweet tooth. But you cannot go back
Speaker 1: there to that door. Okay, do you mentioned wanting to
Speaker 1: buy chocolate, But do not go back there to that door. Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: playing machine you want, I'm gonna turn my back and
Speaker 1: not look at what you're doing. Thank you. Oh hey,
Speaker 1: you're killing it. Wow, Adam's mortisia just flipped over. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to keep my head in the game. Please please, Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: just I know that you need I need an elbow room.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to hit these flippers. Okay, to step back. Sure,
Speaker 1: I know for me, I need energy. And what's a
Speaker 1: better player? Your heads hanging over the table? I can't
Speaker 1: see the table. What's a better place to fuel up?
Speaker 1: Get energy? Then with a delicious chocolate bar? Son of
Speaker 1: the Oay, okay, who are you? I'm Tommy Dillard and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to fund my six hundred and third surgery
Speaker 1: and if you would like to buy one or even
Speaker 1: more chocolate bars, that would be a huge help for me.
Speaker 1: Well tell you what, take what are those quarters? You
Speaker 1: beat my high score and I'll get a box of cookies,
Speaker 1: Like how did how did that work? I'll donate, but
Speaker 1: you gotta beat my high schoore. Um, okay, so I
Speaker 1: just pulled this thing. These things high schooling for six
Speaker 1: We'll get this kid. Go oh no, I I promised
Speaker 1: to pay every dollar over her over my high score
Speaker 1: that she beats me. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Kids
Speaker 1: are real, wizard, you're gonna pay up? Are you gonna
Speaker 1: face the music? I thought maybe we'd all maybe killer.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know, kill a kid who's had surgeries.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't have that kind of money. I mean,
Speaker 1: somebody's gonna stop this kid. We can't stop the kid.
Speaker 1: That was a legal bet. We all watched you make it.
Speaker 1: Even as a man, I can make it stop. I
Speaker 1: can just stop playing, But you got to pay me
Speaker 1: my big box high School New high score. You ask
Speaker 1: the v I p in the back room if he's
Speaker 1: got the money, he's heading there next. Oh all right,
Speaker 1: I'll go back there. Then I'll keep playing ding ding
Speaker 1: ding ding ding ding ding. Hey need a password if
Speaker 1: you want to get back here? Another past? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: room noumb nuts. Oh maybe if I just maybe, if
Speaker 1: I just that's the password, come on in? Oh god,
Speaker 1: thank god? Well? Well, well what can I do you
Speaker 1: for us, stranger? Well, I don't want to interrupt any
Speaker 1: of important games. But too late, okay, Uh, I've got
Speaker 1: myself in a pickle with a pinball wizard, pinball wizard
Speaker 1: pickle a So what's happened is I've made a bet
Speaker 1: that I can't afford, and I kind of needs you
Speaker 1: to pull your pinball skills and beat her score and
Speaker 1: hopes that maybe that makes me off the hook for it. Okay,
Speaker 1: so works. I can't afford that I can't affords. Calm
Speaker 1: down here, drink this, thank you. Yeah, it's gasoline. Listen
Speaker 1: to me. There's three things you gotta know. One, you
Speaker 1: can't you can't change your rules after bets in place.
Speaker 1: Oh too, don't make up ship ever, seriously, you're not
Speaker 1: good at it. And three, I can help you. Thank God,
Speaker 1: how much you think you're gonna know this pinball wizard, Well,
Speaker 1: I would stay close to a million dollars, close to
Speaker 1: a million. It depends she's still rolling the high score
Speaker 1: higher and higher. No one has stopped this pinball wizard.
Speaker 1: I told them to kill her, and they told me
Speaker 1: I was a monster. Oh, let's not use the game word. Sorry, right,
Speaker 1: fancy pants. Now, if you're into this pinball wizard for
Speaker 1: a million dollars, let's call it what it is. If
Speaker 1: we double that number, we can talk about killing. Okay,
Speaker 1: Oh that's gonna be. I can't see the problem is
Speaker 1: I don't even have that much. Ah. So then mine,
Speaker 1: I played pinball because I'm broke, I can't play, And
Speaker 1: I got a very simple solution for you, in fact,
Speaker 1: the most simple solution, and one that I'd be happy
Speaker 1: to take care of in the next couple of minutes.
Speaker 1: Oh perfect, What is it? Answered your problem? We thank you, kid, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we kill you? Oh please, don't I know it sounds weird,
Speaker 1: it sounds awful counter to what do you want to accomplish? Tommy,
Speaker 1: welcome back to the hospital. Um, oh we were Is
Speaker 1: this a check for the entire amount and a little
Speaker 1: more because I'm gonna need some wrist surgery now too.
Speaker 1: Oh let me see. Oh, I grinded my bones down
Speaker 1: to the knobs, so let me just recap the surgery
Speaker 1: for you. We're gonna be repairing your crushed hips, your
Speaker 1: wrists yea, and you're yeah and Tommy John yeah, so
Speaker 1: we'll do all three of those. But wow, check, I've
Speaker 1: never seen a check like this, one point two million dollars. Well,
Speaker 1: you must have sold a lot of chocolate bars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: true is out. There's other things that are lucrative. But
Speaker 1: I am I'm sorry the health care system let you down.
Speaker 1: It's really, really, really really really bottomed out on us here.
Speaker 1: Ever since the nuns from my orphanage died, I didn't
Speaker 1: know how to get my own healthcare. So I've just
Speaker 1: been loose goose pant out of pocket. That's gonna be
Speaker 1: very difficult out of pocket. Yeah, that's a common saying. Um,
Speaker 1: but we're gonna fix you up and you're gonna be
Speaker 1: new when we're done with you. It's gonna be like
Speaker 1: you have superpowers. Thank you so much, doctor. That really
Speaker 1: means a lot to me. Normally we need somebody over
Speaker 1: eighteen to sign off on the surgery, but this check
Speaker 1: is going to be we're gonna get around those corners. Okay, great, great,
Speaker 1: great great great awesome, and your last one in my
Speaker 1: last one. Let's make it the lot ask because it's
Speaker 1: all that I need, not because I die. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's good point. Good clarifying with this number. Trust me,
Speaker 1: you're gonna live. WHOA what does that mean? Like? If
Speaker 1: people they last, they don't what's happening there, ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: let me introduce you to the brand new Tommy Dillard
Speaker 1: post surgery. As you can see, we've added biceps and triceps.
Speaker 1: We've increased the size and power of the quadriceps and here,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's mechanized a child. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is just we've used some of the buildings we've
Speaker 1: had to make this child even more powerful than any
Speaker 1: child could be buildings. Dr flesh Thys, thanks for agreeing
Speaker 1: to sit before the board. I don't know that you
Speaker 1: had a choice if you want to keep your license,
Speaker 1: but thank you for getting past the first hurdle. Yes,
Speaker 1: and just for clarification, is flesh tease? I'm sorry, of
Speaker 1: course it happens all the time. Do I have the
Speaker 1: right spelling? What am I looking at her? You said,
Speaker 1: flesh tease? Okay, what's the country of origin of that name?
Speaker 1: If you don't mind me asking? Okay? Uh so the
Speaker 1: doctors and I have had a chance to review your
Speaker 1: case of mechanizing a child, and um, we just had
Speaker 1: some follow up questions before we voted on your keeping
Speaker 1: your surgery license or losing it. And I don't recognize
Speaker 1: everybody here on the panel. Oh my apologies. Let's go
Speaker 1: around real quick. Uh. I'm Dr Dad. I've read it.
Speaker 1: If I haven't read all your books, then you know
Speaker 1: that's that's on me. I've read yours. You didn't make that,
Speaker 1: stay can pronounce you. Yes, sorry about Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: common error. Let's go around the table. Everybody introduce yourself.
Speaker 1: Doctor no, No, go ahead, Doctor Slongdong, doctor doctor Labia Maxima,
Speaker 1: Dr Solngdong, and Dr Levy Maxim. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: your speech at Harvard Um joint speech the both of
Speaker 1: you did together, and where I would say that the
Speaker 1: joint speech we did about joints. Yes, yes, the knee
Speaker 1: and the elbow. Yes. I remember saying Dr Slongdong and
Speaker 1: Dr Libyaman working together is the most congruous. Well, it's
Speaker 1: not the greatst superhero team or anything. Anyway, You mechanize
Speaker 1: the child. That's why we're here to talk about, not
Speaker 1: a speech we did. But it's nice to you to
Speaker 1: say that, So we'll put it into the records. Slogdog,
Speaker 1: we're gonna he's gonna let him bother us up. He
Speaker 1: can mechanize people. That means a good start. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying you can't. That's a terrible doctor. And I think
Speaker 1: I know doctor h Dr Markles, we've had a past.
Speaker 1: If you could say, oh okay, I'm still not talking
Speaker 1: to each other, all right, because it's not a good past. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we have some follow up questions. Who would like to
Speaker 1: go first? Well, I if it's so coy, doctor Stung Dong, Um,
Speaker 1: what was your favorite part about our speech that we
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say you don't have to repeat your name
Speaker 1: once it's established on the record, but if you want
Speaker 1: to keep saying it just because you like the way
Speaker 1: it sounds, that's also fine. I really like it coming
Speaker 1: from somebody else's mouth. But nonetheless, what was your favorite
Speaker 1: part about that speech that we did? Sorry for clification
Speaker 1: before we read back the notes? You want you are?
Speaker 1: You prefer sorry Dong and someone else's mouth. I like
Speaker 1: when I hear it coming out of somebody else. That's
Speaker 1: a good clarification. But this sounds sexual to anyone else,
Speaker 1: I mean, should it? You're awful? Doctor? Okay. If you
Speaker 1: know the pop singer Um Jason Drulo, he says his
Speaker 1: name at the start of every song. So I was said,
Speaker 1: Sloan Dong is emulating Rulo, if I'm correct, Slung Dong,
Speaker 1: you mechanize the child. Yes, I did, and I don't
Speaker 1: see I'm not sure I have. Tommy Dillard is right
Speaker 1: outside and I could bring him in here and we
Speaker 1: can show you everything that we would come. Yes, that's
Speaker 1: why here bringing in. Oh I didn't know you. Yes,
Speaker 1: send him Tommy. Who are you talking to? Which one?
Speaker 1: I thought there was somebody at the door on the
Speaker 1: other side. You would have to talk louder as I think. Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll get Tommy. Tommy, we need you inside. It's not
Speaker 1: that I don't be honest. This Tommy Dillard. My god,
Speaker 1: those calb muscles, I mean, can see it again. Let
Speaker 1: me just say, it seems kind of like there's just
Speaker 1: the head of Tommy Dillard and everything else, Like is
Speaker 1: it really Tommy Dillard anymore? I'm still Tommy Dillard and
Speaker 1: I am still up for adoption. So if anyone's hard,
Speaker 1: and that is seemed to got a hard, pat on
Speaker 1: me Dillard? Why a hard? So strong? See three comes
Speaker 1: from paton V and wrote, how about a typical afternoon
Speaker 1: at IKEA, thanks and take care? Excuse me? You're working out?
Speaker 1: Oh shit, yeah, I just I'm the uh yeah, the
Speaker 1: sink in this kitchen display doesn't work and I just
Speaker 1: wanted to get a glass of water real quick. So um,
Speaker 1: I got a fucking idiot. None of this stuff works
Speaker 1: come in here, they sleeping. It's fake. It's supposed to
Speaker 1: be an example, you know what, I quitta? What is it? Wow?
Speaker 1: I'm are you punching me in the arm? Why are
Speaker 1: you this was It wasn't supposed to be a punch
Speaker 1: in the arm so much as a get the funk
Speaker 1: out of here. But you're punching in the arm as
Speaker 1: you say that, because you know how many times I've
Speaker 1: had to clean ship out of toilets, make ap bed
Speaker 1: that's been there. Look, this is TV doesn't work. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but maybe you should get better, better equipment and gear
Speaker 1: in your store. Now, will you grab me some ice
Speaker 1: out of the freezer over there? My arm? Really? M
Speaker 1: I'm leaving good luck to you. Wesley. Yeah, we heard
Speaker 1: that you absolutely went ape on one of our customers,
Speaker 1: and we're firing you. I'm so sorry. I don't think
Speaker 1: you watched the video. I tore my name tag off
Speaker 1: and I started punching them. Man, I figured that was
Speaker 1: my that was my resignation. Look right, and I just
Speaker 1: want to let you know that we're firing you. You
Speaker 1: can't fire me. I assaulted somebody in the store. I
Speaker 1: punched them. So we're going to fire you. I just
Speaker 1: want to let you know that, like we're firing you,
Speaker 1: have you considered putting a little sign on every display
Speaker 1: that these are not real items and that they're just
Speaker 1: you know, displays. Oh I'm sorry, it's I only listen
Speaker 1: to people that work for me, and because we fired you,
Speaker 1: I just totally space. Okay, Well, then I guess I'll
Speaker 1: leave this office as a customer. And before I go,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do a number two in the bathroom. Okay, okay, Wesley,
Speaker 1: that's that's that's crossed the line. Now that's crossed the line.
Speaker 1: You know how many maybe up on the mountain of
Speaker 1: being a boss, you don't see what we have to
Speaker 1: do down there. But we're cleaning this up all the times,
Speaker 1: and you just resent me because you were like Mr
Speaker 1: Cool in high school and then I became Mrs Manager
Speaker 1: in college and now you know, I've climbed the ranks
Speaker 1: and you just kind of like stayed near like fired.
Speaker 1: So like, don't hold it against me and take a
Speaker 1: ship in the bathroom that I am overseeing. Excuse me,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, interrupted, I'm looking for hangers that also match
Speaker 1: a chair and a desk. Okay, Um, so there wasn't
Speaker 1: employees only sign And then you know I couldn't get
Speaker 1: anyone on the floor to help me, so I just
Speaker 1: start knocking on doors. I'm so sorry. I understand. Um,
Speaker 1: hangars will be in aisles. It's just a room of management.
Speaker 1: Is just a higher up sort of situation. Yeah, Hi,
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Okay, I gotta tell you there
Speaker 1: are no sales people out on the floor. There are
Speaker 1: no helpful people out of the floor, and it seems
Speaker 1: to me you're understaffed. Forgive me for saying, but if
Speaker 1: I'm right, I would like a job here. I think
Speaker 1: I could help your organization. Wow, that's so funny, because
Speaker 1: I was about to say, so you're fired to this guy,
Speaker 1: to you this attitude, you can just take your little
Speaker 1: butt right out of IKEA because we don't need this. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's fair, that's fair. But in in closing, is there
Speaker 1: a place I can go to find hangars that match
Speaker 1: a charity that's going to be I'll thirty two h B.
Speaker 1: You should punch this guy. You should punch this guy.
Speaker 1: It feels real good. What what's happening? Why are you
Speaker 1: do it? Do it? Yeah? No, don't do it. I'm
Speaker 1: happy to leave. What you do that, um and that's
Speaker 1: why I'm the manager and you're fired. Well, we're gonna listen.
Speaker 1: You're moving into the dorms next week. We're gonna get
Speaker 1: that little shelf. Okay, let's go in here. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is really cool. I've never been an Ikea before. Like, wow,
Speaker 1: we need to focus. It's very focused on focused. Look
Speaker 1: at all these living rooms. This is amazing. It's like
Speaker 1: living in ten hours is at the same time. Sure,
Speaker 1: but just focus. We need to get to the bedroom area. Ikia,
Speaker 1: how can I help you? Hey, this is my first
Speaker 1: time in an Ikea. Well, what a very special day
Speaker 1: this is for you? It really is this exciting. I
Speaker 1: gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. Oh
Speaker 1: that's how excited he was. Look at that. Uh, sir,
Speaker 1: can I maybe help you with something? We're just looking
Speaker 1: for the like a drawers chest of drawers thing. He's
Speaker 1: going to call yss you Arizona State, that is any idea,
Speaker 1: we'll sort a budget. We're working with um Low you
Speaker 1: know we're here. Yeah, so un if we could have
Speaker 1: something thirteen and seventeen would be my recommendation. Would have
Speaker 1: a follow up question for you so I don't actually
Speaker 1: work here, but would you recommend me? Yeah, you've been cordill,
Speaker 1: You've told me where to go. I'm not sure what
Speaker 1: else I would want from an employ Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: What is your last name? Is this your Is this
Speaker 1: your son? Yeah? Here, I found him pissing into one
Speaker 1: of our closet displays. I there was a bathroom display.
Speaker 1: I thought this was a bathroom display right next to it,
Speaker 1: and you decided to piss in the closet display. Either way,
Speaker 1: you understand it's a display. Now, if you were to
Speaker 1: follow the marked signs to get to the restroom, you
Speaker 1: would go through a couple of malors and eventually get
Speaker 1: to it. Please go, Please, let go with my son.
Speaker 1: I'm secon all. Do you have signs up that say
Speaker 1: this is display only? Because signs up that same restroom
Speaker 1: this way in our house, weep in the closet, So
Speaker 1: unless you have a sign up. I'm a lawyer, my
Speaker 1: husband's a lawyer. Listen, I have this whole place shut
Speaker 1: down because you don't have enough signs to say this
Speaker 1: is a display only. Sir. For the record, I just
Speaker 1: want to say this has been incredibly helpful, and I
Speaker 1: think you've made some great points that could help the
Speaker 1: company at large worldwide. You've been fired from the building.
Speaker 1: This is your fired from the building. But please tell
Speaker 1: her again, I don't. This employee is amazing. Help me already.
Speaker 1: It's nicer than you are. Has not a assaulted my son.
Speaker 1: I don't know where a stretching man is right now.
Speaker 1: Stretching man is not allowed in here anymore. Wow, he's
Speaker 1: addicted to the meatballs. He takes what he wants. Um,
Speaker 1: I feel like out. I just want to point out
Speaker 1: there's a there's an arm going through the window right there.
Speaker 1: It's oh god, oh deal with this. Okay, you're not hired,
Speaker 1: but deal with this. Thank you very much. I won't
Speaker 1: disappoint you now. Then should we head on over Aisle
Speaker 1: or seventeen? Yeah? Sure, please take you there? Follow me
Speaker 1: so I understand you. So, Leslie, is it tell me
Speaker 1: about your last job, Leslie and why you think you're
Speaker 1: perfect material or for Oh sorry, I am super drunk.
Speaker 1: That word did not come out. It's been a long morning.
Speaker 1: I'm having some marital difficulties with my wife. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. But this is not about me. This
Speaker 1: is your job. Interview Weslie, what thank you for that?
Speaker 1: Thank you for that, and I'm sorry for your trouble. Well,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. It's it's been hard. Is this your
Speaker 1: first wife, sir? If you don't mind me asking, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: first wife this month? And how long had you been together?
Speaker 1: There this month, which meant by this month ye have
Speaker 1: your newlyweds. She's my second wife overall. But my congratulations,
Speaker 1: just growing pains and you'll work it out. I'm sure
Speaker 1: it's gonna be fine. This is your job interview though
Speaker 1: this isn't about me, so okay, sure, happy to talk
Speaker 1: about myself as well. Okay, Uh, do do you also
Speaker 1: have marital troubles? I've had them and worked right through them.
Speaker 1: Really mhm, I think you do? You think you think
Speaker 1: you're better than me? Uh that's taking a long time
Speaker 1: to answer. You look like you think you're better than me. No,
Speaker 1: it really wasn't about that. Wesley, looking for a job.
Speaker 1: I've got your resume right here. Listen, here's what we want.
Speaker 1: You want to speak easy with pinball machines and uh,
Speaker 1: just just just descript what am I thinking? What's the
Speaker 1: word discretion? Sorry, I'm drunk. Have you been drinking discretion
Speaker 1: is our type party. Everything has been a tough morning, Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little bit. We had a kid in here, trouble
Speaker 1: with the wife. Uh no, No, happily married, very happily.
Speaker 1: I mean like I can't stop thinking about our at times.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so nice. That's that's we call that the
Speaker 1: sweet spot. That's what I has been in the sweet
Speaker 1: spot for seventeen years. So yeah, not the wet spot,
Speaker 1: the sweet spot. Yeah, yeah, sweet spot. But we had
Speaker 1: a kid. I mean, if you're lucky to get both
Speaker 1: in a great marriage, yeah, yeah, sweet and wet, I
Speaker 1: hear you. Um but like I was saying, we had
Speaker 1: a kid in here who broke some records on one
Speaker 1: of our pinball machines, and we just can't look at that.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, look at that. That's incredible. Yeah. Um well,
Speaker 1: I'm thrilled to discuss any of my previous employment or
Speaker 1: how I might be able to be of service. You
Speaker 1: don't need to hear about previous stuff unless there's something
Speaker 1: that sticks out you'd like to share. But we don't
Speaker 1: have a hell of around and a Kia says right
Speaker 1: there on the resume, I'm sure you can say just
Speaker 1: one thing we want to make sure no superpowers, right,
Speaker 1: we've had some bad super superpower employees. Well, I mean
Speaker 1: I have one that I would consider a superpower. I
Speaker 1: know all of my friends eating habits and food allergies. Oh,
Speaker 1: it is so nice to have you here. Gosh, we
Speaker 1: haven't had new blood in this group in a while.
Speaker 1: Professor Boss is gonna love you. Let me introduce you
Speaker 1: to the guys. What do you go by, by the way,
Speaker 1: is it allergy man or no? No? No, Uh, it's
Speaker 1: he knows man, he knows man. Yeah, oh man, we're
Speaker 1: just so excited to have you. Anyway, this is uh
Speaker 1: vision envisionment. He's around here somewhere. I'm here, Wow, right
Speaker 1: behind me. That wasn't creepy at all. Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: And invis man, can I call you pervy? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm new here. I'm just messing around. I'm just messing around. Well,
Speaker 1: you're not the first new guy to say something like that.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a bad song. Maybe look in the
Speaker 1: mirror if you show up in one. Hey, look at that.
Speaker 1: I know you. You're welcome to the team. This is incredible.
Speaker 1: There's no Iron team. Just remember that. I do know that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you like, uh hummus with raw veggies. Actually I'm
Speaker 1: allergic to both. Good to know. Thank you. Wo wow,
Speaker 1: that is a superpower. No, hell, I'm here to hell.
Speaker 1: I told you guys, he was gonna be great. Didn't
Speaker 1: I tell you he was going to be great? Did
Speaker 1: the professor signed off on him? I mean, not yet,
Speaker 1: but but she will. I'm sure she's gonna love this guy.
Speaker 1: He's great. She loves everybody right. She's just been so
Speaker 1: upset since her breakup with sun Man. I think it's
Speaker 1: just good to get some of the new wind. Maybe
Speaker 1: he'll take murders this month. We'll find out here. She comes, here,
Speaker 1: she comes good away. Hi you guys. I horrible news.
Speaker 1: Oh no, what's wrong? It turns out son Man, he
Speaker 1: didn't just like he didn't goes to me. He goes
Speaker 1: to the world. It was inevitable that the sun was
Speaker 1: gonna explode, and he exploded. He sorry, some man exploded. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank god. I thought you met the sun? Oh god,
Speaker 1: that was I thought I would have noticed. Are you also?
Speaker 1: If I may? Sorry? Hi, nice to meet jam he
Speaker 1: knows man. Are you lactose intolerant? Have you been tested
Speaker 1: for that? Yeah? Um? No, I haven't been tested for that.
Speaker 1: Um that sort of vibe? Okay? Is it? The puffs
Speaker 1: around under my eyes? Those are to be expected from tears.
Speaker 1: Of course they do get expansive from lactos. This guy
Speaker 1: is good. He guessed my tested for celiac by any chance.
Speaker 1: I've never had any allergy testing, but I know a
Speaker 1: great doctor who does allergies, Dr Schlangdong, and that is
Speaker 1: our show. Who would go to schlangdon for allergy tests?
Speaker 1: I say not. I want to thank all of our alchemists,
Speaker 1: um Man, Crazy Fun, Mark Gagliardi, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: That's always this and uh, what would you like to
Speaker 1: steer folks towards? Uh, I'd love to see the folks towards.
Speaker 1: We got this with Mark and how on the Maximum
Speaker 1: Fun Network? Uh featuring I've a recent or upcoming episode
Speaker 1: featuring Kevin Pollock that is hilarious and he was great.
Speaker 1: Uh and you were a lot of fun in there.
Speaker 1: And also Blood and Treasure season two coming out soon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is come very exciting coming up. Damn exciting And
Speaker 1: that what network is that again? CBS correct and Jackie Gonzalsa, Ruthie,
Speaker 1: thank you so damn much. Thank you so much in
Speaker 1: a good time. Uh, you wanted to mention some other
Speaker 1: podcasts that you know, Patrick were on. Yes, a trivia
Speaker 1: podcast hasn't aired yet, but you keep your eyes open,
Speaker 1: eyes and ears open and ready for you should know
Speaker 1: better a very fun trivia trivia trivia podcast that my
Speaker 1: husband Pat and I got to compete against each other
Speaker 1: and it's very fun and funny and teaches you and stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it does, you should know better. Look for that. Thank
Speaker 1: you very much for that and for being here a
Speaker 1: whole sing you can. Hey, thanks for having me. First
Speaker 1: of all, there's always so much fun. Everyone makes me
Speaker 1: laugh a lot. Um. Feel free to follow me on
Speaker 1: my social media. It's one of the fall more famous
Speaker 1: social media's. Uh, you can follow me on Instagram or
Speaker 1: Twitter at a tool time a t u l t
Speaker 1: I Amy, How hey, how soon are we going to
Speaker 1: see on TikTok? Come on, everybody's at Sarah. You know
Speaker 1: it's it's I've got some ideas noodling and all right,
Speaker 1: let's let's do it in a month, man, let's do it.
Speaker 1: I'll do it. That's here, we're going out happy to work,
Speaker 1: all right, great lovely um. One month. So when you
Speaker 1: hear this one one month inside one month, I should
Speaker 1: have a TikTok. Excellent and thank you for being here
Speaker 1: as always, James Heney on April three at eight pm
Speaker 1: at the west Side Comedy Theater Alchemy. This has a
Speaker 1: live show and god, would it be great to have
Speaker 1: you guys there to see it. That's a great plot,
Speaker 1: that's a great very mane. Here's more incentive, I for
Speaker 1: one will not be there so that if that doesn't, Yeah,
Speaker 1: who will be the host in my place? Come out
Speaker 1: to Westside Comedy Theater and get your tickets now and
Speaker 1: find out. Let's thank our engineer and producer with stars,
Speaker 1: Mr Debating five folks that I heart media. Mum dum dumb.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollack reminding you to please be
Speaker 1: kinding each other. I promise it works and making your
Speaker 1: in their life so much better. And remember, at the
Speaker 1: highest level of patron and support Alcmania, you can join
Speaker 1: us for one of these as uh. Our friend Catherine
Speaker 1: has been for this particular outing and um she'll be
Speaker 1: writing about it and telling all of you about the
Speaker 1: incredible funds she had And then I will read that
Speaker 1: email or message on patron righte to you. This is
Speaker 1: an exciting process, I know. Um, but yeah, so there
Speaker 1: you go. That's it for the show until next time.
Speaker 1: Remember too,