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Speaker 1: I try to ban my own father for my engagement party,

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Speaker 1: but my mother in law snuck behind my back and

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Speaker 1: invited him. Anyway, here's my plan to kick him out.

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Speaker 2: Those shifty mother in law is always trying to run

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Speaker 2: am back ever since freaking the wicked mother in law

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Speaker 2: and freaking sleeping beauty or what was it? What was Cinderella?

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Speaker 2: You know, mother in laws have decided to be evil

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Speaker 2: ever since then, So mother in law's psa stop being.

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Speaker 1: All of the mother and laws in the world are

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Speaker 1: just gonna full utter comment section. I feel like, I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's a passionate group of people.

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Speaker 2: I'm a mother in law and I'm actually not a dick.

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Speaker 2: Prove it.

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Speaker 1: Prove it well, Sam. Prediction is OPI gonna be the

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Speaker 1: ahole here.

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Speaker 2: I don't think so. I don't think so. I think

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Speaker 2: there's something this evil mother in law is going to do,

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Speaker 2: because all mother in laws are evil. If I've learned

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Speaker 2: anything from Disney movies, mother in laws suck.

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Speaker 1: That's facts only Disney's textbook. So Opie says, my father

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Speaker 1: has many faults. I'm will aware of these and therefore

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Speaker 1: tend to keep our interactions private. I still love him

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Speaker 1: and I have developed a system to keep him from

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Speaker 1: effing me over.

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Speaker 2: Thanks Dad, Hey, we love the anti Dad system. What's

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Speaker 2: the system? Is it on notion? Is it like a

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Speaker 2: Google calendar system? Is it just prison? It's the prison

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Speaker 2: system of prison. I put him in jail.

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Speaker 1: My father keeps being annoying and showing up to my brunches,

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Speaker 1: so I threw him in the clinker in my ale,

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Speaker 1: I framed him for murder. Now, when my fiance asked

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Speaker 1: me to marry him, I said yes, cute, and then

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Speaker 1: I went and privately told my dad about it. We

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Speaker 1: had a nice dinner with my fiance and that was that.

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Speaker 1: My future mother in law wanted to have an engagement party,

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Speaker 1: and I was fine with that. I just requested that

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Speaker 1: she not invite my father. Oh so I want to

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Speaker 1: know why?

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Speaker 2: Why? How is he fucking up her life? Like? That's

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Speaker 2: what I want to know.

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Speaker 1: Well, I have an answer for you. I explained that

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Speaker 1: we had a strained relationship and that I preferred to

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Speaker 1: keep him at a distance. So she agreed no invite.

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Speaker 1: I guess she thought she knew that we don't act.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what does he done? Okay, I thought

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Speaker 1: it was revealed right there, but I think it's a

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Speaker 1: little bit, a little bit further down we get the

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Speaker 1: full picture. Well, I guess she thought she knew better

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Speaker 1: than me. She wanted to fix our relationship, and the

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Speaker 1: first step was inviting him to her home for a

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Speaker 1: party with booze baby.

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Speaker 2: That's the solution. Mother in law is trying to fuck

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Speaker 2: my dad.

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Speaker 1: That could be where this goes. When I met my

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Speaker 1: dad for dinner, I specifically chose a restaurant that did

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Speaker 1: not have a liquor license, so you can kind of

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Speaker 1: guess where OPI is going with us, and we went

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Speaker 1: right after work. He has a breathalyzer built into his

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Speaker 1: car to make it start.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, so he's like an alcoholic, yes somebody, Yes,

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Speaker 2: at least an alcoholic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean having the breathalyzer in the car. That

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Speaker 1: seems pretty that's kind of cool. That is interesting. That's

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Speaker 1: actually great technology when I think about it. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: should honestly probably be in every car. Ever, when you

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Speaker 1: really think about it, Sure he has, because I know

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Speaker 1: what would happen otherwise. When I saw my dad there,

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Speaker 1: my stomach flipped. I asked my future mother in law

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Speaker 1: what was going on, and she said that a good

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Speaker 1: a good daughter would want a dead there on this

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Speaker 1: import in today.

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Speaker 2: Bright you don't know the context though, the context see

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Speaker 2: mother in law's already snooping.

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Speaker 1: I asked her to please make him leave. She said

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Speaker 1: I was being rude. I went over to my dad

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Speaker 1: and asked him to leave. He promised to behave He

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Speaker 1: was so happy to be invited.

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Speaker 2: That's a kind of cute. She really messed this up, though,

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Speaker 2: he's just trying to make it up. Bro.

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Speaker 1: I told my fance that I might end up meaning

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Speaker 1: to leave in a hurry, and he had to come

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Speaker 1: with me when I left. He knows the whole story,

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Speaker 1: so he agreed. My father was fine at the beginning.

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Speaker 1: Then wine came around. I glared at him and shook

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Speaker 1: my head.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: He took some, then more, and then more. He started

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Speaker 1: getting happy, but that doesn't last. After dinner, there were

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Speaker 1: more drinks. As soon as I heard him raise his voice,

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Speaker 1: I asked my fiance to leave. I faked a stomach

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Speaker 1: problem and we left. The least embarrassing thing he did

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Speaker 1: was hiss himself and puke on the lawn. The least

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Speaker 1: embarrassing thing he did that night.

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Speaker 2: I love how he phrased that, oh man, what a

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Speaker 2: train wreck.

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Speaker 1: That is just insane. My future mother in law is furious.

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Speaker 1: She said that we should have told her my father

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Speaker 1: has a drinking problem.

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Speaker 2: I said that it wouldn't have been a problem. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you invited him though without telling her.

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Speaker 1: I said that it wouldn't have been a problem if

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Speaker 1: she hadn't lied to my face about not inviting him.

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Speaker 1: My father is humiliated that he did this, and I

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Speaker 1: am just numb. My uncle has no problem controlling my dad.

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Speaker 1: He is a cop and he has come on several

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Speaker 1: events with my dad where he has kept him from

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Speaker 1: drinking my older brother's wedding, for example. But the problem

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Speaker 1: is he lives in the other city and he would

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Speaker 1: have been at the wedding. I'm just angry that she lied,

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Speaker 1: and I'm venting here because I need someone to tell me.

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Speaker 1: I am not the a hole for not wanting to

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Speaker 1: tell people my father is like this, But Sam, what do.

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Speaker 2: We think in laws are always trifling? Always be trifling?

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Speaker 2: Bro Okay, it sucks that Op has her dad being

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Speaker 2: like a graging alcohol shown up things. I totally understand

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Speaker 2: her not wanting to like dish that, and she didn't

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Speaker 2: think she had to because she thought her mother in

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Speaker 2: law respected her wishes. She's like, okay, like I don't

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Speaker 2: have to go into the details because she's not inviting him.

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Speaker 2: And then she goes behind her wishes and her back

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Speaker 2: for her engagement party and completely fuck it up. So

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Speaker 2: mother in law a whole. Obviously, the dad is a

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Speaker 2: giant a hole for pissing his pants and doing god

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Speaker 2: knows what. I do not think op is the a

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Speaker 2: hole whatsoever? She knows how destructive her dad is. I

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Speaker 2: just feel bad that she has to deal with an

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Speaker 2: incompetent dad and what seems like a well meaning but

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Speaker 2: still in a holy mother in law.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because the thing is like mind your business, mind

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Speaker 1: your business. Like not only did she like ope, clearly

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Speaker 1: told her like I do not want him there, which

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Speaker 1: any reasonable human can kind of infer if you are

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Speaker 1: explicitly saying not to invite your father to your engagement party,

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Speaker 1: there's probably something wrong there. There's probably a reason. There's

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Speaker 1: probably a reason, and you lied to her face saying

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Speaker 1: that you wouldn't do it. That's way more reasonable.

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Speaker 2: To be like, just like ask why don't you just

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Speaker 2: ask why you could you? Like the mother in law

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Speaker 2: like if it didn't make sense to her, she could

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Speaker 2: have asked literally. GENI may asked literally, and now she's

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Speaker 2: mad at her. Please, it's not a good impression to

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Speaker 2: start off this family. Got to say that the best

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Speaker 2: impression today.

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Speaker 3: I fed up by accidentally shooting a baby into the

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Speaker 3: girl behind me at Starbucks, and now.

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Speaker 2: I have twins. Okayop, this is Okayop, I'm saying with

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Speaker 2: daughter and I'm John Fry and we tell the funniest

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Speaker 2: stories on the Internet, and John, I have a title

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Speaker 2: that is going to real your mind. Today.

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Speaker 3: I fed up by accidentally shooting a baby into the

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Speaker 3: girl behind me at Starbucks, and now I have twins.

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Speaker 2: So many questions, how does that work?

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Speaker 1: It comes to mind, how is that possible? And also

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Speaker 1: just in the list of things you don't want to

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Speaker 1: have happened to you, just right right at the top,

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Speaker 1: I would say.

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Speaker 2: So this started a little over a month ago. I

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Speaker 2: was getting a white mocha because I wanted to get

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Speaker 2: my girl on. I ordered the drink and the girl

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Speaker 2: behind me giggled. I SETI turned and said, what I

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Speaker 2: like him? They make me want to get my han

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Speaker 2: solo on and buy leggings A vest and some uggs,

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Speaker 2: which is like the nerdiest way to respond. Strange respond.

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Speaker 2: I turn and guess what she has on. Oh god,

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Speaker 2: that exact outfit. So I give a nervous laugh, insert

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Speaker 2: foot into mouth, and ask if I could buy her

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Speaker 2: a drink to make up for being an a hole.

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Speaker 2: She agrees, and we keep talking as we wait for

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Speaker 2: our drinks. One thing leads to another and we exchange numbers.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, texts. We talk a few dates Corona be damned.

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Speaker 2: Things are going well. Then she comes over to watch

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Speaker 2: a movie. Well, one thing leads to another. She trips,

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Speaker 2: I fall and we knock the old boots together. We

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Speaker 2: keep talking and things seem to be getting pretty serious,

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Speaker 2: and then a few days later, no response, Two weeks,

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Speaker 2: no response, three weeks no response. O whil family, it's official.

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Speaker 2: I have been ghosted. Oh goodness. I guess things were

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Speaker 2: not as good as I thought they were, and maybe

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Speaker 2: I should have just come out there and just try

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Speaker 2: to make a friend instead of trying to knock boots.

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Speaker 2: I got another white mocha and decided, well, let me

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Speaker 2: see what happened. Maybe I said or did something. Maybe

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Speaker 2: I can learn for this for future relationships. And friendships

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Speaker 2: and everything in between. So I texted, ay, Hey, wanted

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Speaker 2: to see how you were and if we could talk,

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Speaker 2: and she responded, yes, I've been meaning to respond, but

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Speaker 2: mind if I come over. Intrigue Okay, I agreed, and

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Speaker 2: she came over. I asked her everything was all right

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Speaker 2: and how she was feeling. Her response was kind of tired.

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Speaker 2: Was late for work and that's not the only thing

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Speaker 2: I was late for. Oh no, f my life. I

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Speaker 2: have never wanted kids. It is a personal decision I

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Speaker 2: made years ago and have done everything but get surgery

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Speaker 2: to ensure it never happened. Oh God, except this time.

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Speaker 2: This time I was thinking with the wrong head. We've

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Speaker 2: all been there, fellas. So we had a little talk.

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Speaker 2: Both of us are scared out of her minds and

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Speaker 2: despite my efforts my whole life, I will be having

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Speaker 2: a baby with her. I left the decision to her

200
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Speaker 2: and gave my full support for whatever she did and

201
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Speaker 2: did not put her one way or the other for

202
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Speaker 2: a results we have yet to tell our families, being

203
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Speaker 2: as we both just found out a day and just

204
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Speaker 2: to be sure, we got a test and it was

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Speaker 2: the biggest plus sign that I have ever seen. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: it's not a plus sign for my general life direction

207
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Speaker 2: as it was going. But maybe I could turn these

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Speaker 2: lemons into some baby lemonade. Both families will be told

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Speaker 2: this weekend. And now we're watching a movie seeing about

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Speaker 2: getting food and asked for us will fellas we are

211
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Speaker 2: officially daated. I only took a pregnancy to get there.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, so maybe it was my f up for

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Speaker 2: not using protection. But I have my white moss. Sam.

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Speaker 2: Are you hungry? Literally? John, I am always starving. I

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Speaker 2: get like swallowed twenty cucumbers right now.

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Speaker 1: Well, Sam, I know you love gobbling down on them cucumbers.

217
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Speaker 1: But look, eating healthy doesn't mean you have to be sloppy, Samuel.

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Speaker 1: The best way to eat fresh is with Hello Fresh

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Speaker 1: so easy.

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Speaker 2: We should cancel all grocery stores and move them to

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Speaker 2: deserted Island because HelloFresh is way more convenient and they

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Speaker 2: send meals right to your door.

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Speaker 1: Bruh, of course it is. It's only fifteen minutes to

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Speaker 1: make those delicious, delicious meals. But Sam, that ain't.

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Speaker 2: All how good?

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Speaker 1: That not at me? All? Oh? We got more. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking creamy darlic spinach foravio.

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Speaker 2: I'm talking barbecue ribs. Battlow back in cheese, cranberried tom

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Speaker 2: roasted chicken.

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Speaker 1: They go and we have the greatest deal, Sam, the

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Speaker 1: greatest on the.

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Speaker 2: History of planet Earth.

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Speaker 1: And if you want to get in on this deliciousness,

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Speaker 1: go to HelloFresh dot com slash okop sixty five and

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Speaker 2: Five percent off plus free shipping.

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Speaker 1: Again, that's HelloFresh dot com slash okop sixty five and

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Speaker 1: use code okop sixty five for sixty.

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Speaker 1: You sell all freshes America's number one milkit Baby Knock.

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Speaker 2: Baby quick story.

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Speaker 1: Before I was building a podcast business, my little entrepreneurial

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Speaker 1: booty was selling stuff online. In middle school and high school.

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Speaker 1: It was me and my mommy. We'd be in the

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Speaker 1: garage selling all kinds of stuff and I hated shipping.

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Speaker 1: But you know what changed the game for me ship

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Speaker 1: Station And if y'all are selling anything online, you have

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Speaker 1: to use this platform. So it pulls in all the

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Speaker 1: sales from all the platforms you're selling on eBay, Amazon,

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Speaker 1: over one hundred others, and it automates the shipping task.

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Speaker 1: Like I cannot tell you how satisfying it is not

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Speaker 1: have to do all that stuff, and it literally price

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Speaker 1: compares all the shipping services, so you end up saving

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Speaker 1: so much money. I'm talking over eighty percent on usps

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Speaker 1: and ups.

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Speaker 2: That gets nuts. But you know that is not enough.

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Speaker 1: You are okop family, So we are giving you sixty

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Speaker 1: are running shipping for your business, you have to use

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Speaker 1: this so to keep your business growing all year. Along

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Speaker 1: and sign up for your free sixty day trial. Again,

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Speaker 1: that's ship station dot com slash okop.

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Speaker 2: This show is sponsored by Betterhelp. We've seen some wild

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Speaker 2: stories with some crazy relationships, and although we love reading

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Speaker 2: these stories, I think sometimes it could be helpful to

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Speaker 2: have someone who can really help and talk through these

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Speaker 2: things exactly.

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Speaker 1: Maybe asking strangers on the internet isn't the best place

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Speaker 1: to get.

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Speaker 2: Advice, ay, but it is a fun place. It's a

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Speaker 2: fun place.

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Speaker 1: But say we've got a much better place, and that

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Speaker 1: is better Help.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's affordable therapy and it's entirely on line. Oh.

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Speaker 2: I love things that are affordable and online, and they

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Speaker 2: can match you with a therapist who fits your needs

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Speaker 2: and if you don't like them, you can switch. No

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Speaker 2: questions ask oh yes.

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Speaker 1: So if you want to live a more empowered life,

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Speaker 1: therapy can help you get there. Visit Betterhelp dot com

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Speaker 1: slash okop to get ten percent off your first month.

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Speaker 2: That's Better Help. H e LP dot com slash okop

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Speaker 2: Okay drink my happy drink to help me through it.

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Speaker 2: And guess what, I guess I'll be a father Christmas,

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Speaker 2: just in time for Christmas update, So I figured I

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Speaker 2: would post this here since I told my family. To

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Speaker 2: those who've been helping me with some advice, thank you

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Speaker 2: for this. My original post is on my profile. Don't

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Speaker 2: know how to link it, but it's there. So the

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Speaker 2: TLDR the last one is I had an unprotected hookup

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Speaker 2: with this girl and now she's pregnant. In keeping it.

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Speaker 2: Now to the update, or continued crap storm as I

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Speaker 2: like to call it, she's about ten weeks a long,

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Speaker 2: which coincides with us being together. We'll still get a

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Speaker 2: paternity to test with the timeline matches, and I'm pretty

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Speaker 2: sure I am the one who got our preggers well.

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Speaker 2: Things are going well in the face of our relationship.

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Speaker 2: Next month her release ends and we'll be moving in

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Speaker 2: with me, so my hot solo will be with her. Chewbacca.

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Speaker 2: Why all these Star War Wars references? Now, last week

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Speaker 2: we went in for an ultrasound, and as a guy,

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Speaker 2: this was the moment where the crap gets real, real quick.

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Speaker 2: So they go through everything and then the image is there.

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Speaker 2: There is my peanut. But something looks a bit off

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Speaker 2: to me. Now, was a guy, you could tell me

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Speaker 2: that this is the Titanic and I would believe it

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Speaker 2: because I could not fathom what I'm seeing. So that's

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Speaker 2: a tech. Hey is that a split screen? And she

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Speaker 2: says no, it's one image. So I asked the reasonable tone,

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Speaker 2: why does it look like there are two? Leah looks

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Speaker 2: at me like I'm the world's biggest idiot. Then the

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Speaker 2: realization dawned on me. So I calmly, with barely any

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Speaker 2: cracking my voice, ever so soplietly, ever so politely, say,

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Speaker 2: f me, there are two twits. We're having twins. Oh my,

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Speaker 2: The tech started laughing, My girlfriend started to laugh and cry.

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Speaker 2: I saw some black spots because I was ready to faint,

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Speaker 2: but I kept my crap together and drove home. We

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Speaker 2: told our parents, the news, friend's family and now read

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Speaker 2: it finally, So after almost a half months together, my

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Speaker 2: f up continues with not only getting this girl pregnant,

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Speaker 2: but with twins. So the more of the story were

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Speaker 2: protection man hope, he cannot catch a break, he cannot

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Speaker 2: catch out break, and then there's an update to that update.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh, this is my last update. Thank you, thank

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Speaker 2: you for the kind words and support. So this is

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Speaker 2: the madness that has followed these last few months. The

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Speaker 2: pickles kept disappearing. Leia would be ever so helpful helping

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Speaker 2: me look for them. So there was a pickle thief

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Speaker 2: in the house and Lea couldn't figure it out either,

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Speaker 2: but she swears it wasn't her. How can I doubt

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Speaker 2: a pregnant female who says she didn't eat all the pickles,

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Speaker 2: chili cheese dog runs at night at night? Absolutely count

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Speaker 2: me in. I love how OPI is just like fully

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Speaker 2: on boards. He's here for it.

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Speaker 1: He's getting all the pickles and chili dogs.

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Speaker 2: In the world. Crying because my cat looked at her

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Speaker 2: and licked its paw and it was the cutest things ever.

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Speaker 2: I got hugs to cure that, talking to Belly ask

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Speaker 2: if they want to come out. I can ignore that

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Speaker 2: so she doesn't think that I think she's completely crazy.

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Speaker 2: Covered that. We've been living together for a few months now,

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Speaker 2: and our water broke last Saturday. We rushed to the hospital.

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Speaker 2: The usual madness ensued, and a few hours later there

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Speaker 2: were two more people in this world. Stop all doubts.

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Speaker 2: The paternity test was taken, and the crowd at Morey

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Speaker 2: would go nuts. I am the father, So my kiddos

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Speaker 2: were born, healthy and happy. We're all home now, spending

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Speaker 2: the holidays together. And I was the person who never

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Speaker 2: wanted kids. But for the life of me, I can't

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Speaker 2: remember why. I am so full of joy and pride.

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Speaker 2: I've been taking naps with the kiddos and changing diapers.

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Speaker 2: The world's crazy, but my slice of madness keeps me smiling.

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Speaker 2: And I felt I should put an ending to those adventures.

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Speaker 1: That's so cute, That is literally so wonderful, horrible, that

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Speaker 1: is so like.

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Speaker 2: What what a great whole.

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Speaker 1: It's so cute, strange, just.

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Speaker 2: Strange journey but beautiful.

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Speaker 1: If only he had gotten you know, a green tea

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Speaker 1: or something that day, it all would have been differ difference.

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Speaker 2: But with that, you know, what should never be different.

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Speaker 2: Oh the fact that you subscribe to this podcast. Click

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Speaker 2: click fall us and Spotify supporters on patreoon Bra and

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Speaker 2: help us out and we'll see you next time. Sees soon.

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