WEBVTT - Financial Dieting 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:09.119 Wind down and you're getting better and better at that. 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:12.720 You're just taking my role. There. I love it. So 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:15.640 here we are again, and we're going to start pretty 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:20.800 much every episode by plugging our own book because because 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:24.200 why not. Well, I'll say this. I was talking to 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:27.080 Bobby Bones the other day and it was so cool 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:30.160 because he acknowledged during the interview that pre orders are 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:34.040 so important for especially first time authors like us because 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:38.520 in order to make the you know, the New York 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:43.000 best time selling lists like it's um, they take into 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:47.160 account um the pre orders. But it's only that first week, 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:50.240 so you know, it's just so important to have people 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:53.520 pre order it. Um. That way we have a chance 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:57.959 at it maybe you know. Yeah, I mean so from 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:00.920 now until the time it's physically on aile is really 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:04.520 the most crucial time. Why buy it? Why buy it? 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:10.560 Great question, honey, UM buy it because it's funny and 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:13.760 it's real and it's You're gonna read things about us 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:16.959 that you haven't heard on this podcast, which is surprising. 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:24.080 But let's give him something. You're gonna hear. We talked 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.240 about this when we first introduced it last week, but 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:29.399 you're gonna hear you know, each chapter us starting off 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:34.440 with a story from our relationship of some kind of conflict, 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.800 some heavier than others, some super surface level and silly, 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:44.000 but some kind of conflict where we're almost positive that 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:47.160 majority of you out there that do read it will 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:49.720 kind of nod your head and be like, I've been there, 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:54.040 you know, in one end of the in either shoes 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.360 of that relationship, Like I feel like, you know, most 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.280 people and couple ships will be like yea that us 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:04.160 or yep, I'm this person, or what about if you're single? 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.600 If you're single, the same thing, because it's not just 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:11.120 about your current relationship, it's about relationships of your past. 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:12.440 But like, oh, I remember what I was dating so 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:14.400 and so, Like that was so us or I definitely 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:16.800 did that or he or she definitely was was that way. 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.520 And then going on from there, the tools that we 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:22.959 we talked about and that we've learned in our experience 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:26.600 can be things that anyone who's single right now can 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.919 use into their next relationship. Why did you want to 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:33.040 write a book? I feel like I'm interviewing you, I know, right, 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:36.880 bring it um. You know it took me a while. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:38.920 It took me a while to get comfortable with the 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.960 idea because of the first Originally it was yours, like 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:43.679 we had kind of touched on where you had a 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:47.360 book you were going to write and tell things primarily 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:51.240 from your side. It was more about your life before us, 0:02:51.840 --> 0:02:55.760 but then obviously the majority of it was the abusive relationship. 0:02:57.280 --> 0:03:01.760 So once uh, you know, you kind of put that 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.239 thought in my head and started sharing d m s 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:09.920 with me and people's comments about you know, how the 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.320 little things we were saying at the time could be helpful, 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.360 and it has been helpful, it can be helpful. I 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:19.760 slowly started to see that silver lining. And it's taken 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:21.320 you know, the past year of us working on this 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:24.079 project to to get to where we feel like the 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:27.440 book is the best it can possibly possibly be. What's 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:29.880 one thing in the book where you still struggle with 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:34.760 maybe what you wrote because we wrote every word and 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:39.400 we're typing like we talk, and it's, uh, there's some 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:42.040 things why I even call myself out in the book 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.520 where I like, I feel like a little bit writing 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:46.160 this right now. I feel like an idiot. I feel 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:49.120 so stupid writing what I'm writing in this moment, and 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.440 I literally say that in the book, like I feel 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:54.360 so embarrassed right right right now writing this, but blah 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.560 blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. What do you mean? 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:03.880 Just the vulnerable feelings on my feeling a moment that 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:07.120 that made seem so like, that felt silly even me 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.360 writing it about it, I was like, God, looking back 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:12.640 on that, that was so stupid, that was so immature, 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.240 that was so whatever. But that's how it was in 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.440 that moment. So it was just you know, I mean, like, 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:21.279 is there one thing where like you read and you're like, 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:26.240 I have to do better at that? Oh yeah, I 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:28.240 mean a lot of it. I mean that's the thing 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:31.120 that you know, we gotta we gotta practice what we preached, 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:37.599 you know, significantly more consistently. And for me, it's being 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:41.279 consistent with my actions, always being honest and you know, 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:45.599 being soft and being empathetic and not being not getting 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:48.520 mean when I get angry. And so yeah, there's all 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:50.120 of it I can work on. I mean, there's no 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.320 one's gonna master parts of your relationship because I mean 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.120 I can say the same thing for me to like, 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.080 I you know, I should pause more or I should 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.880 you know, I'm very quick to to be triggered and 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:03.839 to you know, which is why I like the Pauls 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.560 should come first. And so it's funny like when you know, 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:09.280 because we're still editing certain things in our book and 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:11.600 we're still having to reread it, and it's so interesting, 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.680 like we we write it because we've been taught it, 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:19.440 but we still don't do it perfectly. And so sometimes 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:21.880 I'm like, well, how could we say this if we're 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:24.760 not even doing it perfect and so but I that's 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:30.000 just what I've come to find out that it's we're 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:32.800 will never do it perfectly. We'll just we just do 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:37.960 it better, right, I mean, therapists have therapists even when 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.440 our therapist is like yeah, I mean you know the 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:44.000 wife had that saying, I'm like, wait, so you still 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:48.120 have those like it doesn't just stop, like so like 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:52.200 this will continue to be the thing. But I think 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:56.360 hearing that kind of squashed any kind of reality in 0:05:56.400 --> 0:06:00.680 my brain that it is normal. Even when I was 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:03.560 walking with one of my walking crew, it's like, oh 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:09.640 he yels like so it's it's almost like you you 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:13.240 imagine it humanizes almost like your relationship to and be 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:17.320 like oh okay, like all right, and then I'm like, well, 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:21.240 how often does he yell so, but it's just it's interesting, 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:25.840 how you know, you you there's things that we are 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:29.039 still trying to do better and learn from. But I 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:30.920 think it's great that we can still which is why 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:32.720 I asked you that because I know for me, I 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:34.159 looked back and I was like, oh, yeah, I can, 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.960 I can do better with do better with this um 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:41.200 and especially since we're I don't want to say teaching it, 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:43.400 but especially since we're giving the gift of what we've 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:46.520 been given to others, you know, hopefully they can they 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:50.119 can use those tools too. Yeah, And I think that's 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:53.839 a the whole point of it. The whole point of 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:57.520 this book is for people to realize that they aren't 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:59.839 just like you're saying, oh they he yells too or 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.479 you you know, it's that's the whole point of this book. 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:06.480 It's for people to not feel alone and the things 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:08.040 that they go through and the fact that we talked 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:11.360 about obviously have talked about so much of you know, 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:16.040 taboo subjects like infidelity and even things like infertility and 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:18.480 miscarriages and all of that. It's, you know, we talk 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:23.560 about all those things and you don't want to normalize that, like, oh, 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:26.960 it's just another thing you have to deal with. But again, 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.680 we're trying to give a gift of not feel alone. Sure, 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:31.760 and again for those people that you know, because I 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:33.440 had a lot of people reach out to me being like, well, 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.160 I'm single, I don't really think I need it. But 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:39.120 there's so many things, especially the communication chapter or um 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:42.160 being part of a team, or um, you know, cleaning 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:43.720 your side of the street, seting your side of the street, 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.520 which is huge, and like I was like, oh, I 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:47.840 wish I had this book when I was single, because 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:51.200 there's so many things that I maybe wouldn't have repeated 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:54.200 patterns and relationships. I would have looked in the mirror 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:56.400 and stopped, you know, even when it comes to like 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:59.200 my parents, Like I blamed my dad for so long, 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:01.080 Like it's not my dad, that's fault that like I 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:03.320 continue to do these things, it's my fault, Like yeah, 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:05.640 I might have seen certain things, but it's not like 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:09.200 it's and I just I wish I had that gift. 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:12.360 The two of the first chapters, Cleaning your Side of 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:16.960 the Street and Baggage are chapters that are perfect for 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.920 people that aren't even in relationships. It's perfect. It's obviously 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:22.520 perfect for people in relationships, but it's almost even better 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:25.880 for people that aren't, because these are two areas that 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.040 the more you know about cleaning your start of the street, 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:30.000 the more you acknowledge the baggage that you bring into 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:33.160 a relationship, that better prepared you are to be close 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.480 to and intimate with that person. Can you imagine the 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:37.480 gift you would have given. I mean, I feel like, 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:43.959 you know, well, yeah, never mind what nothing, No, I 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:48.040 I was just gonna say, to be able to do 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:51.920 your work before you get into the next relationship is 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:55.680 such a gift for the other person. Oh yeah, and yourself. Yeah, 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.439 and yourself because then you know, you know where this 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:00.360 stuff comes from. You know what you're going into the 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:03.240 table and what you have to deal with, and so 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:10.240 you're you're more emotionally stable for the relationship. But it 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:15.760 takes two. Look, we're we're just so excited about this 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.560 and we just hope you'll give it a chance because 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:22.520 we really think they could help a lot of people. Yeah, So, um, 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:25.520 go to Jana and Mike dot com to preorder your 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:31.640 copy and I we will personalize a copy if you 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:34.560 go to the Parnassis so Jana Mike dot com and 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:37.320 if you want a personalized copy. UM, click on the 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:42.040 Parnasis tub because we are supporting our local bookstore here 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:46.240 and they really needed those sales, and we got a 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:51.240 letter from the owner. Basically we saved essentially their store. 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:55.680 So we're just if we soldies just to that store 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:59.520 the first we're in the first weekend, but I think, um, 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:01.760 we want to reach out to any other bookstore. So 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:03.400 if you guys have any other bookstores that you know 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:05.640 might need the help, we definitely want to highlight some 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:08.560 other stores as well, just because especially during this time, 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:11.319 you know, people obviously aren't going to their local bookstores 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:13.320 and we know how easy it is to you know, 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:16.280 be able to just go online. So UM, if you 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:18.280 have any local bookstores that you guys want us to 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:20.520 shout out and um try to get our books in 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:22.880 there to uh have people pre order, let us know 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:25.080 and just go to the wind Down podcast and d 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:28.240 M S. Let's take a break and then let's talk 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:43.199 about our guests, all right, So we have Nicole lapin 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:46.679 coming on the show later today. Super excited about her. 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.760 She's the New York best selling author of Rich Bitch 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:52.440 and Boss Bitch. UM super excited to talk to her. 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:54.959 She's got a new book out right now called Becoming Superwoman. 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:59.000 So I'm gonna get my notepad and pen ready because 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.680 I'm super pumped about that. Anything new in your world, Michael, 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:07.440 I've just gotten too cycling. Yes, you did, for those 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:09.600 of those who for those of you who do not 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:13.439 follow Joanna on Instagram. So I was kind of that 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:15.959 and I've always kind of wanted to do it because 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:19.120 my joints are bad from playing football and it's it 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:22.160 kind of helps with you know, load bearing and stress 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.120 relief on your joints. But I really dove in, haven't I? 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:29.200 You have? Yeah? I mean you different outfits, survived every 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.840 day to the door, so you're really you're really going 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:34.560 for it. I like it, though, I mean, I'm proud 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:36.440 of you that you're, you know, you found something that 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:39.240 you really like to do and you're you've stuck to 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.559 it and it's been, you know, something for you that 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.600 you love, and you know, we've kind of like how 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:46.840 my walks are for me, and we've been able to 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:49.400 be like, okay, like when are you walking, When when 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.600 are you biking, and knowing that we both need that 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:56.599 for our sanity during this time because we're still practicing 0:11:56.640 --> 0:12:00.520 the stay at home. Yeah, it's been good. Yeah, absolutely, 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.120 and I feel I know, I feel better too, because 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.480 you know, you would have your walks almost every day 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:08.480 or your workout time, and I wasn't as diligent on 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.040 my workout time, and it didn't really feel like I 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:12.840 was getting away. It was just in the garage. So 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:14.760 to be able to go out for an hour or 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.280 two hours and ride, you know, are we going to 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:21.000 two hours? Because I mean last week the like twenty 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.880 five miles I was, you know, I'm gonna have to 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:27.560 up my walk time then because look, hey, I don't 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.560 think I'm gonna be working to that like sixty seventy 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:32.240 five mile range where I'm going for like five hours. 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:35.240 But it's I've really enjoyed it, and it's one of 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:39.160 those things again I said, I I've always had an 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.600 interest in doing physically, and now I'm finally I'm finally 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:46.840 doing it. Is there anything like for you physically that man, 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.679 rock climbing has always been something or there's something like 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.280 that that you're kayaking on a regular basis that you've 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:55.200 always been intrigued by. I mean, I remember the last 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:58.200 time I went rock climbing. I went with this person 0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:01.160 and I was just like crying the entire time because 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.400 I was like, please give me down because I was 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:05.640 so afraid the witch and mccaule thing was going to break. 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:09.560 But it was. I mean, it was fun, but not really. Um. 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:11.959 I love hiking, and you know how many times I'm 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.079 I was like, I want to hike out, Let's go hiking. 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:17.320 And so it's that's one thing that I really miss, 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.120 like not living in Los Angeles, because I just I 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:24.160 love going for hikes. So do you like glorified walking 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.880 hiking or do you like when we went to BlackBerry Farms, 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:31.520 you know in Tennessee, and that was awesome. We were 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.040 like straight up hands and knees. The incline was so steep. 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.160 That was a little mind. But I like like the 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.920 you know, the Percy Warner Hike here in Nashville, and 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.880 I just I love that because just to be in nature, 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.480 and I'm such an outdoor person like I I would 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.800 love to do that more often. It's just it's just 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.120 hard because again we're you know, we don't really have 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:53.720 the the help for that right now. For sure, I'll 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:55.679 be interested in on what other things are out there 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:59.360 that people have been interested in doing physically. That's just different. 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:03.160 I mean, I want to do um volleyball. How many 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.520 times have I said, like, I want to do sand 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:08.160 volleyball more often? Like if I could do a volleyball 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.040 game like once a week, I would be the happiest 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:12.360 person ever. Like, I just think it's so cool. That's 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.440 some good exercise, I know, And I'm really good at it. 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:18.880 I'm so good, so of course I want to do it. 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:20.560 You know, only wants to do things that she's going 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.680 to be the best at. That's not true. You're so competitive. No, 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.160 I'm just competitive. I'm really not that good. Actually, I'm 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:30.280 like the shortest person, so I can't spike for ship. Yeah, 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:34.920 but your good support. I'm a good cheerleader. Um. Yeah, 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:39.000 how's the mental game? How are you mentally? Mentally? Huh 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:45.760 what a deep question. Um, I'm good. I'm good. Um 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:49.400 it's I think I'm just hitting a routine. Like we're 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:51.480 kind of in our routine. We're kind of you know, 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:54.280 days blend together, but we're doing our thing we have. 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:58.480 You know, we're rving up to michigandist to your family 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:01.240 for the fourth of July, and so we're looking forward 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:02.600 to that that's kind of like the light at the 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:04.560 end of the tunnel. I think right now, for me mentally, 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:06.800 we're in another month, We're going to be hitting the 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:08.480 road and just kind of getting out of dodge for 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:12.560 a little bit. Yeah, what about you. Yeah, I mean 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:15.040 I think I I go into waves like I'm bummed 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.360 that you know, we're probably not going to have I'm 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:19.600 just I'm bummed on the missed opportunities of this year. 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:25.680 Um because again, like those things don't come around as often, 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.160 like the movie and things like that, and you know, 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.480 just I mean financially everyone's kind of in well not everyone, 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.080 but the people that you know, our entertainers and stuff, 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:37.320 and you know, beyond entertainment, there's a lot of people 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:39.200 that are struggling right now. So I you know, we 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:42.400 can't complain, you know, because we we we can still 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:44.600 do this and other things. But I think just having 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:47.840 those like missed opportunities has been has just been a 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:52.800 bummer for um. And like the tour and um, you know, 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.160 all of that has been just something where it's kind 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:57.560 of like that stinks. And so some days I think 0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:59.040 about it and then it kind of gets me down. 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:03.000 But but then I positively think, Okay, well, look how 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.320 much time because I remember in the beginning of the year, 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:09.640 I started to have massive anxiety. Remember I said, every 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.960 single weekend I'm going to be gone, whether it's a 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.840 wine down, or it's the movie or it's a show 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:18.480 on the road. I was going to be gone almost 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:22.120 every single years, every weekend except for one every month. 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.320 It's like three weekends out of every month, you're gonna 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:28.720 be gone. Yeah. Like, I just started to have like 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:30.720 anxiety about it. And then you know, me and my 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:33.240 girls had planned a trip together one of those weekends, 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:35.120 and I was like, I didn't remember I told you. 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:37.040 I was like, I'm going to cancel it because I can't. 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:39.480 I can't be away from the kids this much. And now, 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:41.120 you know, I think that was like all right, it's 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:46.920 like I'm taking it all away. You're complaining, I'll take 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:52.560 it all What's completely off subject. But again, people follow 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:55.200 you know that we like to play games. What's a 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.920 favorite game that we've played kind of during this this 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.120 break that you've just really enjoyed. I mean, Cube is 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:04.560 always a good one. And then I just like the 0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:09.640 easiness and the fastness of Mencola. Yeah, it's just it's 0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:12.040 just easy. It's just like, let's throw some like the 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:15.160 little pepples in some little holes. Yeah, it's like that's 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:18.760 just fun. Yeah, so it's easy, it's sinless. There's no 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:21.080 real thinking about it. No, it's just I like that 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.680 one that just in the middle of games. And then yeah, 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:26.399 Ronnie Cube's obviously one of my faiths for that. And 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:29.960 then I really want to play Frutigo again. Gina wants 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:33.280 to play Strategic Strtigo because she would my ask the 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.199 first time we played it. She never even heard of 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:36.680 the game. I used to play it as a kid 0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:39.280 all the time with my best friend growing up, Eric, 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:42.640 and we played all the time. And I bring it out, like, Jenna, 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:44.960 you're gonna love this game. She's like, fine, I'll play 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.480 it with you. Whoops, my ass. She's like, let's play again. 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:51.080 We have not played since, so we need to. I 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.480 guess do that. Hey, what book are you reading right 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:55.879 now in your morning meditation time? How to be an 0:17:55.880 --> 0:18:00.440 adult in a relationship? Really? What are you learning? Tell 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:06.879 me more? Um, it's right now because I started it 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:10.439 before I started uh and respect, love and respect. So 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:14.080 I've been recapping some things and a lot of it's 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:18.320 redundant with you know. Uh, there's he does like the 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:26.359 five a's is like accountability, acknowledge, acceptance, awareness, and I 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:28.720 don't remember the fifth one, but he's just talking about 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:31.280 all of those like within your relationship and kind of 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:35.080 how you know you you It's it's his way of 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:39.399 kind of saying owning your side, like controlling what you 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:44.000 can control. Um. So I'm I'm looking forward to diving 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:46.600 deeper into that book and reading new, newer stuff that 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:50.280 no new stuff yet, no, because I didn't. I wanted 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:53.320 to make sure I didn't skip anything like just really skim, 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:54.960 you know. So I wanted to make sure I'm still 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:59.600 grasping the concept of the things I've read. Anything stick out, nothing, 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:02.200 nothing right now, nothing that we haven't talked about, Nothing 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:06.040 that's that's really new, especially stuff that I've that we've 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:08.639 brought up before. So but I'll be in touch with 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:11.240 you all about what I'm learning and how to be 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:13.960 an adult in a relationship. All right, We're gonna take 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.159 one more break before we have a Nicole lapping on 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:30.879 and talking to her about everything she's got going. All right, 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:33.800 Jane and I are so excited to have our next guest. 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:36.480 She is a New York Times bestselling author of the 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.919 books Rich Bitch and Boss Bitch, and now she's on 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:40.920 to promote her third book, which she's gonna tell you 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:46.919 all about. Welcome Nicole Lapping. Hey girl, hey lady. You 0:19:46.960 --> 0:19:49.240 know we were on the Doctors together. I don't know 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.199 if you remember. I was like a segment after you, 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:54.919 and then I was hosting Founder Made and we reconnected her. 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:57.000 Oh that's right, that's right, that's you know, I look 0:19:57.080 --> 0:20:01.840 like a homeless person now, but when I no, no no same, 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:03.960 I've no makeup, just got out of the shower. So 0:20:04.160 --> 0:20:06.840 this is this is the new the new look. But no, yes, 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:12.200 absolutely remember um? And so how Rich Bitch and Boss Bitch? 0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:16.040 How when did those come out? Rich Witch was my 0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:18.359 first book, and now we're on the fourth edition, which 0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:22.800 is bananas because people still keep buying it. You know, 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:25.200 there is not a resetta stone for finance, and I 0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:27.000 think a lot of women want to get their financial 0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:30.080 lives together, but it's really complicated with the jargon in 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:32.879 the language. So that actually out six years ago. Then 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:36.480 Boss which came out after that, then Becoming Superwoman came out, 0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:39.960 and I may be birthing more book babies. No actual 0:20:40.040 --> 0:20:43.840 babies yet, just a lot of book babies. I like 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:45.720 and I know I love it. How did you get 0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:48.200 into the whole like with rich bitch? Like, how did 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:51.560 you start off, like, you know, basically becoming that rich bitch? 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:55.840 So I grew up in an immigrant family, first generation American, 0:20:55.920 --> 0:20:59.320 just use cash, had like a super broken home, needed 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:02.360 to start working early on, and I just needed a job, 0:21:02.400 --> 0:21:04.960 and I wanted to be in TV news, So you 0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:07.000 go back in the day there was like no skipping 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:09.800 steps on YouTube and whatever. Like. I went to small 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:13.560 markets in South Dakota and Kentucky and tried to work 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:16.159 my way up, and I got a job as a 0:21:16.280 --> 0:21:19.000 business news reporter and they asked me if I knew 0:21:19.000 --> 0:21:23.040 anything about business, and I totally on live and I 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:26.200 said absolutely. And I faked it till I made it. 0:21:26.280 --> 0:21:29.280 And I realized that money is just language like anything else. 0:21:29.720 --> 0:21:31.639 And if you go to China you don't seech Chinese, 0:21:31.680 --> 0:21:33.560 you'll be super confused. And if you go to wall Stream, 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:35.919 you don't speak the language with money, you'll be super confused. 0:21:36.280 --> 0:21:38.760 But once I figured it out, and I'm the least 0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:40.520 likely person to do it, like I didn't want to 0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:43.520 do anything with money. Guys, my boyfriend in high school 0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:45.359 said he wanted to be a hedge fund manager. I 0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:49.000 thought you wanted to be gardening. So like, I'm extremely 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:52.280 I was extremely clueless. I love it. And then now 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:56.840 your book Becoming Superwoman, So what's it says is it's 0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:59.480 simple twelve step planned to go from burnout to balance. 0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:01.399 So tell me, like, tell me all of that, Like 0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:03.920 how how did you get to the book? Like? How 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:06.600 do I become a superwoman? What do I have to do? Do? 0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:09.120 I write an S on my chest like what? What? 0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:12.040 What telled me? All the ways? I am here for that? 0:22:12.119 --> 0:22:14.280 And by the way, you already are a superwoman and 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:18.320 a total boss this um So I ended up getting 0:22:18.359 --> 0:22:21.800 to network news way earlier than I expected as an 0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:24.840 a gru on CNN and then CNBC and Bloomberg, and 0:22:25.359 --> 0:22:28.480 I worked and self prescribed, not drugs or alcohol, but 0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:31.840 work to hide from that really traumatic upbringing I had. 0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:36.720 And I ultimately, you know, worked and work some more 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:39.080 and it kicks my butt. And I had a mental emotional, 0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:42.920 physical breakdown that stemmed from severe burnout and an emergency 0:22:42.960 --> 0:22:45.520 itatements to the hospital that made me rethink everything and 0:22:45.560 --> 0:22:48.480 how I was working, And at that moment, I realized 0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:50.679 I was trying to be Superwoman, the character with a 0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:52.560 one word version who tries to do it all and 0:22:52.600 --> 0:22:54.120 be it all and be all things to all people, 0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:57.520 so ultimately she's nothing to herself. And I wanted to 0:22:57.600 --> 0:23:00.000 just be a super space woman, a woman who puts 0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:03.280 or oxygen mask on first before helping others. So how 0:23:03.320 --> 0:23:05.480 do you do it? Though? Like tell me, like what, 0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:08.679 like what's the first step in in in doing that 0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:10.520 and finding that balance? Because I feel like right now 0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:15.040 this book is an amazing time for COVID because I 0:23:15.080 --> 0:23:17.719 feel like a lot of us feel burnt you know, 0:23:18.000 --> 0:23:21.480 we feel that burntout feeling, and I feel like this 0:23:21.560 --> 0:23:25.359 is coming at the best time to almost reinvent yourself 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:28.480 through all the burnout totally. And the first step is 0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:30.719 always admitting you have a problem. All my books are 0:23:30.760 --> 0:23:33.520 twelve step plans because that is the first step, you know. 0:23:33.760 --> 0:23:36.000 I did the lads of study ever done on women 0:23:36.040 --> 0:23:38.880 and burnout, and I found that women are reaching burnout 0:23:38.880 --> 0:23:42.040 and breakdown levels in the eighty and ninety ranges, but 0:23:42.160 --> 0:23:44.960 only half of us think that that's the problem. So 0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:49.280 there's a huge difference between actually swimming and just not drowning. 0:23:49.560 --> 0:23:52.640 And so we're saying like, oh, it's overwhelming, but it's cool, 0:23:52.680 --> 0:23:55.560 nothing to see. We just can keep going. And that's 0:23:55.600 --> 0:23:58.440 where the issue lies. And I think now when we're 0:23:58.480 --> 0:24:01.520 trying to figure out this new noise normal and boundaries 0:24:01.560 --> 0:24:03.879 and balanced here you know, as you guys know, the 0:24:03.880 --> 0:24:06.479 whole day can be really chaotic, but your morning and 0:24:06.560 --> 0:24:10.159 evening routines are what you can control. So you know, 0:24:10.240 --> 0:24:13.359 if you start your day off with gratitude and not 0:24:13.440 --> 0:24:17.760 going down email fire fighting rabbit hole, it changes the 0:24:17.800 --> 0:24:21.359 course of your day. Um. Studies have shown that, you know, 0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:24.760 gratitude helps us actually look for more of that throughout 0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:26.400 the day. And then at the end of the day. 0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:29.040 I used to think, like, how am I never able 0:24:29.080 --> 0:24:31.399 to sleep well? Hello, Captain obvious? Maybe it was because 0:24:31.400 --> 0:24:34.480 I shined a bright light of my phone in front 0:24:34.520 --> 0:24:37.919 of my eyeball, um until I fell asleep. So I 0:24:37.960 --> 0:24:40.119 think that those are what we can control. Like, we 0:24:40.160 --> 0:24:43.359 can't control the global economy it's bad, um, but we 0:24:43.400 --> 0:24:45.840 can control ourselves and our own economy is that's all 0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:48.160 we can control. And any relationship, by the way, you're 0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:51.400 only responsible you can only control of that fifty when 0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:54.320 that's you. So your book so it focuses on on 0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:58.399 life balance, but also financial balance as well. Absolutely, And 0:24:58.440 --> 0:25:01.520 I think the trick is to figure out what the 0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:04.920 definition of balances because a bunch of ladies in particular 0:25:04.960 --> 0:25:07.360 will say like, I'm lost balance or I'm most budget. 0:25:07.400 --> 0:25:10.480 I'm like, bro, did you even have a budget? You 0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:13.280 even have a definition of balance? Or are you just 0:25:13.320 --> 0:25:16.639 comparing yourselves to other ladies on Instagram who are baking 0:25:16.720 --> 0:25:19.280 banana bread and feeling bad about yourself? But like, is 0:25:19.320 --> 0:25:23.120 that's not on your definition of balance, then like, then 0:25:23.119 --> 0:25:25.920 don't feel bad about yourself. That's maybe that ladies definitions. 0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:28.520 But first I think it's important to figure out what 0:25:28.600 --> 0:25:30.920 that looks like to you and stop changing the bar 0:25:31.080 --> 0:25:33.240 because for so long in my career I felt like 0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:35.080 I would be happy or I would be balanced when 0:25:35.119 --> 0:25:38.080 I got there a certain job or a certain salary, 0:25:38.200 --> 0:25:40.840 And then I got there and there was almost immediately 0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:43.720 another there there, and so we keep changing the old 0:25:43.760 --> 0:25:47.080 posts on ourselves. I do have a question too about 0:25:47.240 --> 0:25:49.399 kind of the times right now. Is there a financial 0:25:49.440 --> 0:25:54.000 mistake that people might be making right now? During COVID times? 0:25:54.040 --> 0:25:57.680 A lot, and I am I've never worked so hard. Actually, 0:25:57.800 --> 0:26:00.720 it's like a financial new super Bowl right now because 0:26:01.280 --> 0:26:04.359 women in particular care because we're reactive in that nature. 0:26:04.400 --> 0:26:07.040 It's hard to get you to care about finances proactively, 0:26:07.080 --> 0:26:10.480 but now everybody has to. And so you know, pulling 0:26:10.480 --> 0:26:12.560 out of the market, for instance, whether it's with your 0:26:12.600 --> 0:26:16.840 retirement fund or your investments, is all emotional, right, And 0:26:17.040 --> 0:26:21.080 there's two adages on wall streets that are true. Everything 0:26:21.080 --> 0:26:23.840 else is subjective. One of them is by low sell high. 0:26:24.040 --> 0:26:26.520 So right now things are more towards the low than 0:26:26.560 --> 0:26:29.720 the high. Stuff is on sale. So instead of pulling out, 0:26:30.080 --> 0:26:33.280 I think the biggest mistake, um is not actually putting 0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:36.760 more in if you can. So, so to put more 0:26:36.800 --> 0:26:40.359 in is is the right thing to do if you 0:26:40.520 --> 0:26:43.480 have a long term investment horizon, so if you're not 0:26:43.520 --> 0:26:45.840 retiring in the next five or ten years, and if 0:26:45.840 --> 0:26:47.960 you're not putting all your money in there and your 0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:51.320 dollar cost averaging, which is fancy terminology for just putting 0:26:51.320 --> 0:26:52.920 in a little bits at a time to hedge for 0:26:52.960 --> 0:26:55.280 all the fluctuations. And it is a great time, and 0:26:55.320 --> 0:26:58.840 great fortunes have been made during tough economic times. Recessions 0:26:58.840 --> 0:27:01.680 and depressions and economic downturn. With that said, though, too, 0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:06.480 what about refinancing your house? So if you can refinance, 0:27:06.560 --> 0:27:08.800 this would be an awesome time to do it. Are 0:27:08.800 --> 0:27:10.960 you guys thinking about that? Well, I mean we got that, 0:27:11.000 --> 0:27:13.040 we got a great rate, but I know that we 0:27:13.040 --> 0:27:17.040 could actually even get lower now. Um. So I was 0:27:17.080 --> 0:27:19.280 just wondering if that's something where it would only be 0:27:19.359 --> 0:27:22.040 like a point something off, It wouldn't be an actual 0:27:22.040 --> 0:27:24.680 whole number down. So is that is that worth it 0:27:24.920 --> 0:27:28.760 or no? Girl? Absolutely a point something. I don't say, 0:27:28.800 --> 0:27:32.159 I know nothing about like the you know, Michael's the 0:27:32.880 --> 0:27:35.520 you know he's he's the thirty year fixed and I'm like, 0:27:35.600 --> 0:27:38.320 let's do five. And because because I'm always looking at 0:27:38.320 --> 0:27:41.359 the lower number, like of you know, the mortgage, and 0:27:41.400 --> 0:27:45.679 I'm I'm not as much. Um, so, okay, that's interesting. 0:27:45.840 --> 0:27:50.520 I'll have to call. Oftentimes we end up spending double 0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:53.160 the amount we paid for our house just in interest. 0:27:53.320 --> 0:27:56.040 So if you can point something per sentially, if you 0:27:56.040 --> 0:27:58.040 can have a calculator, girl, that is going to turn 0:27:58.040 --> 0:27:59.840 out to be a lot of money. And by the 0:28:00.240 --> 0:28:03.320 some folks are refinancing lower because back in the day, 0:28:03.400 --> 0:28:05.920 like our parents would think you know, six percent is 0:28:05.960 --> 0:28:09.920 an awesome mortgage. Now that sounds really high, and even 0:28:09.960 --> 0:28:12.520 if you spend more on your monthly payments, but you 0:28:12.560 --> 0:28:15.119 shorten the term, that could really be great in the 0:28:15.119 --> 0:28:18.960 long run. Never been this blow even if it's like 0:28:19.000 --> 0:28:24.159 a point to difference. Girl like like, I like, I 0:28:24.240 --> 0:28:26.960 know nothing. So that's why I'm like, because I would think, like, Okay, 0:28:27.040 --> 0:28:29.240 let's say if a mortgage rate was four six and 0:28:29.240 --> 0:28:32.000 you can get it for three six, Like that's different 0:28:32.000 --> 0:28:34.040 to me, Like that's because that's a one percent difference. 0:28:34.080 --> 0:28:35.680 But I didn't know if like a point something would 0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:39.000 make a difference. If it's like ask a question if 0:28:39.040 --> 0:28:41.120 I was like, hey, can I give you a hundred 0:28:41.160 --> 0:28:44.120 dollars or a thousand dollars and you're like, I'm not 0:28:44.120 --> 0:28:47.120 gonna take the hundred dollars because not a thousand dollars? Okay, 0:28:47.520 --> 0:28:50.800 point maybe okay, got it. I'm gonna we're going to 0:28:50.880 --> 0:28:52.960 call the business manager as soon as we're all alright. 0:28:53.040 --> 0:28:55.600 Speaking of money and everything, you have this money school 0:28:55.680 --> 0:28:58.000 challenge they're talking about. Tell us about that in our 0:28:58.040 --> 0:29:02.479 listeners as well. These are challenging times, of course, and 0:29:02.680 --> 0:29:04.640 you know we have so many questions about how to 0:29:04.680 --> 0:29:07.320 save money. I had to budget money, how to make money, 0:29:07.600 --> 0:29:10.160 and so I put together my money master class, which 0:29:10.200 --> 0:29:12.040 is called the Money School. I was so tired for 0:29:12.160 --> 0:29:13.880 years and years and years saying like, why don't we 0:29:13.960 --> 0:29:16.040 learn that stuff in school? We learned such ads, stuff 0:29:16.080 --> 0:29:18.720 like as you guys know and you probably homeschool, Like, 0:29:18.800 --> 0:29:21.120 so why do we need to know geometry and the 0:29:21.160 --> 0:29:23.080 Pythagrean theorem. Why don't we learn how to do the 0:29:23.160 --> 0:29:25.760 budget or taxes or business plan like that would be 0:29:25.800 --> 0:29:28.760 really more valuable, or figure out how to refinance. And 0:29:28.840 --> 0:29:31.240 so I was saying that so much that I was like, Okay, 0:29:31.240 --> 0:29:33.640 well I might as well just make that I'll just 0:29:33.720 --> 0:29:36.880 do it. And so I created twelve video modules and 0:29:36.920 --> 0:29:39.280 worksheets and quizzes, and then I put all of my 0:29:39.680 --> 0:29:43.080 templates and everything together in a bundle. So if people 0:29:43.200 --> 0:29:46.240 do want to get their financial life together and focus 0:29:46.280 --> 0:29:49.560 on financial literacy, you know, we complain a lot about money, 0:29:49.600 --> 0:29:52.880 but actually ask yourself, how long have you actually done 0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:55.320 something about it? Like take the same amount of time 0:29:55.320 --> 0:29:58.000 that you would have used to plan a vacation or 0:29:58.040 --> 0:30:01.560 buy boots, and just like read some financial book or 0:30:01.720 --> 0:30:03.960 it doesn't even have to be mine or take a 0:30:04.040 --> 0:30:06.840 class and actually educate yourself about it. Because we can't 0:30:06.840 --> 0:30:08.840 hear our heads in the stand. We can't assume that 0:30:08.840 --> 0:30:11.800 a man is a financial plan Like I cannot stand 0:30:11.840 --> 0:30:13.560 when I hear that, or I used to hear that 0:30:13.640 --> 0:30:16.360 at events across the country. Um, you know, I think 0:30:16.560 --> 0:30:18.720 we didn't learn it in school. We may have had 0:30:18.760 --> 0:30:21.640 a terrible upbringing. Okay, so we didn't learn it. That's 0:30:21.720 --> 0:30:24.360 no excuse now, like forgive your former self for what 0:30:24.480 --> 0:30:26.000 she didn't know, but to say, like it's not a 0:30:26.080 --> 0:30:27.840 pain moving forward. I got to get my big girl 0:30:27.840 --> 0:30:31.240 andyvon and handle it. I think that's so true because 0:30:31.280 --> 0:30:33.840 I didn't. I mean, this is you're gonna like probably like, 0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:36.080 oh my gosh, But I didn't start. Actually, I didn't 0:30:36.120 --> 0:30:39.400 have a I didn't put any money into a portfolio 0:30:39.600 --> 0:30:42.720 until probably just a few years ago because I didn't know, 0:30:42.880 --> 0:30:45.800 and like I was so worried about the number and 0:30:45.840 --> 0:30:49.000 the account and my business manager, you know, he was like, 0:30:49.240 --> 0:30:51.960 you have to start putting money into some kind of 0:30:52.560 --> 0:30:55.000 like so you your money can make something for you. 0:30:55.040 --> 0:30:57.680 But I was so fearful because of the industry that 0:30:57.760 --> 0:30:59.360 you know, I've I've been in there. I'm like, I 0:30:59.400 --> 0:31:01.400 don't know if I'm ever going to make money again, 0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:03.520 and what if that money goes away, I'm screwed, Like 0:31:03.600 --> 0:31:06.160 I won't have anything. But all that time that I 0:31:06.160 --> 0:31:08.600 could have had it in something growing, it just it's 0:31:09.080 --> 0:31:12.600 it's slowly been just annoying me to be like, like, 0:31:12.680 --> 0:31:14.760 why did it? Why wasn't I smarter with my money? 0:31:14.800 --> 0:31:17.280 Why wasn't I Why didn't I take more risks? And 0:31:17.280 --> 0:31:20.880 why didn't I almost bet on myself because I for 0:31:20.920 --> 0:31:24.960 all those years, my entire twenties into my early thirties, 0:31:24.960 --> 0:31:28.200 I didn't bet on myself. I just I bet on uncertainty, 0:31:28.200 --> 0:31:30.400 and I bet on you know, things not working out, 0:31:30.400 --> 0:31:32.200 and I bet on you know, going in the right again. 0:31:32.200 --> 0:31:36.800 Because for the the pretty much my entire twenties, my 0:31:36.840 --> 0:31:40.000 bank account would go from red to normal, from red 0:31:40.000 --> 0:31:42.280 to normal, from red to normal until really my late 0:31:42.320 --> 0:31:45.920 twenties was when I started to actually make some kind 0:31:45.960 --> 0:31:49.240 of money. And it's just I get frustrated that I 0:31:49.280 --> 0:31:51.560 never put anything away because I just started my retirement 0:31:51.560 --> 0:31:54.480 and I'm thirty six years old. Um so I do 0:31:54.600 --> 0:32:01.240 get a little why are you laughing at me? But yeah, 0:32:01.240 --> 0:32:02.640 so I'm like, I just wish I would have I 0:32:02.680 --> 0:32:04.960 would have been smarter. But it's it's hard to bet 0:32:05.000 --> 0:32:08.080 on yourself, I guess. But it's the would as should have, 0:32:08.120 --> 0:32:10.040 could haves. And we you know, we're never as young 0:32:10.080 --> 0:32:12.240 as we are today, right, And it's you know, it's 0:32:12.520 --> 0:32:16.520 it's never too late to start, truly, and the earlier 0:32:16.600 --> 0:32:19.800 you do, you get to reach the benefits of compounding interest, 0:32:19.920 --> 0:32:23.360 which you know we have seen probably used against us 0:32:23.360 --> 0:32:25.920 with credit card debt and how quickly that snowball's out 0:32:25.920 --> 0:32:28.440 of control. Like, imagine what that can do when it's 0:32:28.480 --> 0:32:31.360 in your favor and it's compounding. So your money is 0:32:31.400 --> 0:32:34.040 making money, and the goal could be to have your 0:32:34.080 --> 0:32:37.080 money make you so much interest that you don't have 0:32:37.160 --> 0:32:39.520 to work. If you want to work, God's get on 0:32:39.600 --> 0:32:41.680 with your bad self. But like you don't have to 0:32:41.920 --> 0:32:44.600 or you're not stuck in a relationship that's abusive or 0:32:44.640 --> 0:32:47.880 bad because you can't make your own money. Like truly, 0:32:47.960 --> 0:32:50.520 money is freedom. It's freedom to make the choices you 0:32:50.560 --> 0:32:53.000 want to make work because you love it, stay with 0:32:53.080 --> 0:32:55.760 somebody you love, and don't have money be a factor 0:32:55.800 --> 0:32:58.640 in musation. I love that is there when you kind 0:32:58.640 --> 0:33:01.400 of look at you know someone situation and what what's 0:33:01.440 --> 0:33:04.360 like the top three things that you're like, it's you're 0:33:04.400 --> 0:33:07.480 just wasting your money. Is there anything where you can say, 0:33:07.480 --> 0:33:09.280 like just get rid of this or get rid of that, 0:33:09.440 --> 0:33:12.640 or something where you can stop buying this? Is that 0:33:13.280 --> 0:33:16.000 in the equation or is it just solely like putting 0:33:16.000 --> 0:33:19.800 buying stocks and things like that. So I don't advocate 0:33:19.840 --> 0:33:23.000 any sort of deprivation. I think a financial diet is 0:33:23.040 --> 0:33:25.000 a lot like a regular diet. You know, if you 0:33:25.040 --> 0:33:28.160 allow yourself small indulgences, you won't end up thinching later on. 0:33:28.280 --> 0:33:30.360 So I don't know about you, but abla lot a 0:33:30.360 --> 0:33:33.040 lot of crazy craft diets in my life, Like we're 0:33:33.080 --> 0:33:36.920 dup cleanses and grapefruit cleanses and whatever. And I was 0:33:37.040 --> 0:33:38.760 starving and I ended up in the middle of the the 0:33:38.880 --> 0:33:41.440 night naching on a big, a hunkle chocolate case because 0:33:41.480 --> 0:33:44.440 Mama was so hungry and so deprived. Like the same 0:33:44.520 --> 0:33:46.959 thing goes for a financial diet if you don't allow 0:33:47.040 --> 0:33:50.880 yourself a latte. Like I argue against all the financial 0:33:50.880 --> 0:33:53.200 folks who are like, don't biology, I'm like, no, you 0:33:53.240 --> 0:33:55.840 need to buy something that makes you happy. That's why 0:33:55.880 --> 0:33:58.480 we're working and living life anyway. You can't be in 0:33:58.480 --> 0:34:01.440 like doom and gloom, death destruction, you know, clipping cupon 0:34:01.880 --> 0:34:05.520 and have this deprivation mentality. Because when people say I 0:34:05.560 --> 0:34:07.520 cut out the morning, latta, you would be so proud 0:34:07.560 --> 0:34:10.400 of me for my New Year's resolution. Come like April 0:34:10.480 --> 0:34:12.799 or May they say, Hey, I've got a Gucci perse 0:34:12.840 --> 0:34:15.239 because I was so good. I'm like, God, if you 0:34:15.400 --> 0:34:18.800 just bought that lay every single day and made yourself 0:34:18.880 --> 0:34:23.160 happy when me that Gucci, I think absolutely, allow yourself 0:34:23.200 --> 0:34:25.960 for the extras, but just have them being no more 0:34:26.000 --> 0:34:29.560 than about fifteen percent in normal times of your overall stending. 0:34:29.640 --> 0:34:32.200 I love that. And then what do you tell people 0:34:32.360 --> 0:34:35.759 that have financial anxiety? So I have, like I deal 0:34:35.800 --> 0:34:39.640 with a lot of financial anxiety and fears about you know, money, 0:34:39.680 --> 0:34:44.279 and and it's is there something like to to help 0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:46.920 ease anything like that or is it is that just 0:34:47.280 --> 0:34:52.040 is that normal? It's totally normal. I have financial anxiety too. 0:34:52.120 --> 0:34:54.279 I mean I know a lot, I don't know everything, 0:34:54.640 --> 0:34:58.080 and it's so understandable. Money is the root of every 0:34:58.160 --> 0:35:00.759 I think conflict if you really get down to it, 0:35:00.760 --> 0:35:05.120 it's more the humanity is part that's most anxiety provoking, 0:35:05.280 --> 0:35:07.719 the mass part like a fifth grader can do. It's 0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:10.359 the idea of talking to your significant other about money. 0:35:10.400 --> 0:35:12.400 It's the idea of the prenup. It's the idea of 0:35:12.400 --> 0:35:14.279 getting your friend to pay you back. It's all the 0:35:14.320 --> 0:35:17.560 emotional stuff that gets in the way. And I would say, 0:35:17.880 --> 0:35:20.240 you know, the biggest enemy is often between our ears, 0:35:20.320 --> 0:35:23.320 and sometimes we suffer more in imagination than in reality. 0:35:23.440 --> 0:35:25.759 So like you don't open up your credit score or 0:35:25.800 --> 0:35:27.759 you don't open up your taxes because you're just like 0:35:27.800 --> 0:35:30.160 in denial. It's like you want to lose weight, if 0:35:30.200 --> 0:35:31.920 you don't step on the scale or you don't know 0:35:31.960 --> 0:35:34.239 the calories, then it's cool because you're just in this 0:35:34.320 --> 0:35:37.319 denial mode so it doesn't actually feel real. But once 0:35:37.400 --> 0:35:39.520 you do it, you know, once you rip off that 0:35:39.560 --> 0:35:42.320 band aid, then I think you see that it's actually 0:35:42.360 --> 0:35:44.680 not as complicated and not as very as you made 0:35:44.680 --> 0:35:48.000 it out to be in your head. I like it. Yeah, 0:35:48.120 --> 0:35:50.480 great question. Well, I just I just feel like, because 0:35:50.640 --> 0:35:52.520 that's kind of what to what you said, Nicole, Like 0:35:52.600 --> 0:35:55.279 I in the very beginning, I didn't want to want 0:35:55.320 --> 0:35:57.879 my business manager called. I would decline the call because 0:35:57.920 --> 0:36:00.600 I was so nervous of him saying like okay, because 0:36:00.600 --> 0:36:02.799 I had this awful manager in the beginning of my 0:36:02.920 --> 0:36:04.839 career and she sued me and she just I mean, 0:36:04.880 --> 0:36:07.400 she's just she was awful, and so I always it 0:36:07.520 --> 0:36:10.640 was just so much like financial stress at that time, 0:36:10.680 --> 0:36:12.080 and so I just never wanted to talk to him. 0:36:12.080 --> 0:36:13.520 I didn't want to see the money. I just I 0:36:13.880 --> 0:36:16.640 just was always so fearful because I just knew it 0:36:16.680 --> 0:36:18.680 was like I was, I was afraid it was going 0:36:18.719 --> 0:36:21.000 to go away. And now it's like now I'm so 0:36:21.440 --> 0:36:24.000 almost controlling to a fault because I'm so afraid to 0:36:24.080 --> 0:36:26.360 lose it. And now I'm like, okay, like you know, 0:36:26.440 --> 0:36:28.360 we've lost a lot of money this year with COVID, 0:36:28.400 --> 0:36:29.960 like everyone else has, and like how are we going 0:36:30.000 --> 0:36:31.480 to keep it? And okay, we gotta cut down here, 0:36:31.480 --> 0:36:33.120 and we gotta cut down there, and we were for 0:36:33.120 --> 0:36:36.000 allowing this person and like so it's just like now 0:36:36.040 --> 0:36:38.160 I'm just trying to like navigate how to like not 0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:41.680 let it completely control my mood throughout the day. So 0:36:41.960 --> 0:36:45.919 I appreciate you sharing that. Yeah, it's understandable. I think 0:36:46.200 --> 0:36:49.600 you know, we talked about everything before. We talk about money. 0:36:49.640 --> 0:36:52.040 I mean, you guys have talked about this on the 0:36:52.040 --> 0:36:55.040 show like sexty times, the Keening, watch this, fertility, like 0:36:55.120 --> 0:36:57.600 all the things, and then all of a sudden, when 0:36:57.680 --> 0:36:59.920 we used to see human beings in real life, I 0:37:00.000 --> 0:37:02.000 would say to my girlfriends over dinner, like, hey, how 0:37:02.080 --> 0:37:03.840 much are you making this year? Or how much is 0:37:03.880 --> 0:37:06.239 in your bank account? And it would be cricket. I'm like, girl, 0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:08.080 you just told me about your landing strip and you're 0:37:08.080 --> 0:37:11.160 not telling me about looking your bank account. Like we have. 0:37:11.320 --> 0:37:14.160 We have to reprogram ourselves around that, because I was like, 0:37:14.200 --> 0:37:16.400 I'm starting to help you. If we don't talk about it, 0:37:16.600 --> 0:37:18.440 we're not going to get ahead. It's like trying to 0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:20.840 price your health without knowing the camp of the area. 0:37:21.200 --> 0:37:23.480 So I always go first. I'm like, I'll show you 0:37:23.520 --> 0:37:25.239 mine if you show me yours. See, I don't know 0:37:25.280 --> 0:37:27.040 if I could do that. That gives an anxiety because 0:37:27.040 --> 0:37:29.680 then I would almost be like I'd almost maybe get jealous, 0:37:29.680 --> 0:37:33.200 like you're skinnier than me or so That's that's interesting though, 0:37:33.239 --> 0:37:35.240 because even just the other day I was asking somebody 0:37:35.280 --> 0:37:37.520 I don't remember who it was, but you know how 0:37:37.560 --> 0:37:39.120 you phrase those questions. I was like, Hey, if you 0:37:39.120 --> 0:37:40.960 don't mind me asking like how much did you pay 0:37:40.960 --> 0:37:42.640 you to have this done? Just because I was curious 0:37:42.719 --> 0:37:45.480 for my own I get reasoning, but but still it's 0:37:45.480 --> 0:37:49.160 like it's such a personal thing, like like to Nicole's point, 0:37:49.160 --> 0:37:51.239 you talk, you know, and with this person I was with, 0:37:51.280 --> 0:37:54.799 I've talked about way more deeper things than than you know, 0:37:54.920 --> 0:37:57.120 how much this one job cost that he had done 0:37:57.160 --> 0:37:59.680 or something. But it is interesting, That's true. It did. 0:37:59.719 --> 0:38:01.759 I was talking to Sean about something and I said, 0:38:02.400 --> 0:38:04.600 and it took me a minute to ask her, like 0:38:05.600 --> 0:38:07.680 how much did you make on that? Because you can 0:38:07.719 --> 0:38:10.279 just see, you know, and it's it's it is that 0:38:10.320 --> 0:38:15.400 it's uncomfortable and they're like our best friends. It's interesting. Yeah, 0:38:15.600 --> 0:38:19.359 I don't have a problem telling people. Guys have less 0:38:19.360 --> 0:38:21.680 of a problem, see I I don't. I guess it 0:38:21.680 --> 0:38:24.120 does make me uncomfortable. If someone asked me, like, if 0:38:24.160 --> 0:38:26.000 someone just at me flat out, how much did you 0:38:26.000 --> 0:38:28.279 guys pay for this, I'll oh that I don't care. 0:38:28.840 --> 0:38:32.319 But I do parent price. I do. I do give 0:38:32.360 --> 0:38:34.759 a parent price. I'm like, it's like a couple hundred dollars, 0:38:34.760 --> 0:38:37.520 and my friends like it's a thousand dollars and I'm like, oh, 0:38:37.600 --> 0:38:39.239 but I don't. But here's my thing. I don't buy 0:38:39.239 --> 0:38:44.720 anything I don't like to buy. I'm very, very like um, frugal, 0:38:45.600 --> 0:38:47.600 but I like to buy things for other people. So 0:38:47.680 --> 0:38:52.719 that's where I spend my money, Like because I have 0:38:52.800 --> 0:38:54.799 to force her to do something for yourself to your 0:38:54.840 --> 0:38:57.360 point in qual like for the latte for Jana's she 0:38:57.440 --> 0:39:00.160 andrew coffee, but for whatever her quote unquote latte is is. 0:39:00.160 --> 0:39:03.799 I'm like, honey, you work so hard, like do this 0:39:03.960 --> 0:39:07.040 it's not a lot, Like it's okay. And she'll come 0:39:07.040 --> 0:39:09.719 to me because we don't we have a budget that 0:39:09.760 --> 0:39:11.800 we have agreed upon if it's anything over this amount, 0:39:12.040 --> 0:39:15.400 we talk about and it'll be something under that amount, 0:39:15.440 --> 0:39:17.320 and she'll come be like and ask me like she's 0:39:17.440 --> 0:39:20.160 a little kid. I'm like, first of all, you're like 0:39:20.160 --> 0:39:22.239 the breadwinner in this family. I was like, you don't 0:39:22.239 --> 0:39:24.080 really need to, you know, ask me too much, but 0:39:24.239 --> 0:39:26.400 I appreciate the respect and when you do come to 0:39:26.440 --> 0:39:28.880 me and to discuss it, like you don't have to 0:39:28.920 --> 0:39:33.840 ask like that, Like I never care, you know, I 0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:35.880 don't know what is that? What? Why why do guys 0:39:35.960 --> 0:39:41.440 care less to the all, No, I think, you know, 0:39:41.600 --> 0:39:45.400 it's obviously fraught with so many other emotions. And I 0:39:45.440 --> 0:39:47.640 think to your point that you might feel bad if 0:39:47.640 --> 0:39:51.160 somebody's like skinny or rich or whatever like that on you, 0:39:51.360 --> 0:39:53.920 I have to say, like, you have to do some 0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:57.440 work and say is my worth tied to money? Is 0:39:57.480 --> 0:39:59.880 it not? And so you know you can you can 0:40:00.000 --> 0:40:02.360 only control how your reaction is. And so I like 0:40:02.400 --> 0:40:05.960 to talk about it transparently because I think that's the 0:40:05.960 --> 0:40:08.239 way we can help each other and negotiate. It's the 0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:11.000 way we can help each other with best practices. And 0:40:11.080 --> 0:40:13.319 I go for so in all my books, I talk 0:40:13.400 --> 0:40:15.719 about what I made at CNN what I meant you 0:40:15.960 --> 0:40:18.160 see what I made for my book Advances, because I'm like, 0:40:18.680 --> 0:40:20.359 this is going to read this is like what does 0:40:20.400 --> 0:40:22.000 this film make for this? And so I just put 0:40:22.000 --> 0:40:23.960 it in there because I think it's important. And I 0:40:24.000 --> 0:40:27.319 had to put my money literally where my mouth was. Well, yeah, 0:40:27.320 --> 0:40:29.680 I respect that. Yeah, I respect that because not a 0:40:29.719 --> 0:40:32.040 lot of people do that. Um So to find out more, 0:40:32.520 --> 0:40:36.120 go to the Money School challenge dot com and then 0:40:36.160 --> 0:40:39.400 also get her book it's out right now. Becoming Superwoman 0:40:39.440 --> 0:40:42.760 a simple twelve step planned to go from burnout to balance. Nicole, 0:40:42.800 --> 0:40:46.160 thank you so much, UM for coming on. Really appreciate it. 0:40:46.239 --> 0:40:48.880 And I'm going to check out the money challenge because 0:40:48.880 --> 0:40:51.640 that sounds very interesting. I need to be more knowledgeable 0:40:51.640 --> 0:41:00.440 about my points literally to Alright. Okay, thank you he guy. 0:41:13.400 --> 0:41:17.200 All Right, So Nicole was awesome, super excited. I have 0:41:17.239 --> 0:41:21.800 an S on my chest. I'm about to be superwoman. UM. 0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:25.360 Email Stephanie. I suffered a miscarriage in December two thou nineteen. 0:41:25.400 --> 0:41:28.360 My husband and I was we're trying for our second child. 0:41:28.440 --> 0:41:30.239 I have a beautiful son who was a year and 0:41:30.239 --> 0:41:32.840 a half um, and I honestly didn't think having a 0:41:32.880 --> 0:41:35.440 miscarriage was going to happen to me. I lost the 0:41:35.520 --> 0:41:38.279 baby around ten weeks and I had um never felt 0:41:38.320 --> 0:41:40.960 more sad, her and angry than I did during that time. 0:41:41.440 --> 0:41:44.200 Push forward to today, I am currently twenty two weeks 0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:47.400 pregnant with our second child, a baby girl. She's my 0:41:47.560 --> 0:41:50.799 rainbow baby. I love her so much, but honestly, I'm 0:41:50.880 --> 0:41:53.960 still terrified. I feel myself trying to not get too 0:41:53.960 --> 0:41:56.000 excited about her because the chance of losing her would 0:41:56.040 --> 0:41:58.640 completely destroy me. I know Janna and Mike experienced several 0:41:58.640 --> 0:42:01.759 miscarriages before baby, and I guess I want to know 0:42:01.800 --> 0:42:04.000 how you let yourself enjoy the pregnancy that gave you 0:42:04.040 --> 0:42:06.239 a baby. I want to grow this little girl with 0:42:06.320 --> 0:42:09.440 all my love, and I'm afraid, Um, I'm afraid my 0:42:09.480 --> 0:42:13.680 fear of losing her is keeping me from doing that. Um. Stephanie, 0:42:13.680 --> 0:42:18.000 I'm sorry you suffered a miscarriage. I you know, we 0:42:18.000 --> 0:42:21.520 we both know how that feels. Um, I'm so excited 0:42:21.520 --> 0:42:23.280 for you that you have your rainbow baby on the way. 0:42:24.040 --> 0:42:33.200 I honestly wish I could give positive but that when 0:42:33.239 --> 0:42:36.400 I was pregnant with Jason, like every single time this 0:42:36.480 --> 0:42:38.399 is a little like Team I, but every single time 0:42:38.440 --> 0:42:41.280 I wiped, I was like, there's going to be blood. 0:42:42.239 --> 0:42:44.600 Like I was always fearful of wiping and seeing blood. 0:42:44.640 --> 0:42:48.839 And that's just the reality of like having so many miscarriages. 0:42:48.920 --> 0:42:52.080 Of like, it's not it's can of course, it's it's 0:42:52.120 --> 0:42:55.240 like I'm going to lose it. Of course, even even 0:42:55.400 --> 0:42:58.480 when I was in my you know, twenty something weeks, 0:42:58.520 --> 0:43:01.240 I still was just like when I got to thirty, 0:43:01.440 --> 0:43:04.000 I think it was like No. Seven or twenty eight 0:43:04.000 --> 0:43:05.600 where they say that the baby has a chance of 0:43:05.640 --> 0:43:11.360 living and that's when I stopped being so crazy. Um, 0:43:11.400 --> 0:43:13.600 but no, I mean every single time I wiped, I 0:43:13.640 --> 0:43:17.399 looked to see if there was blood. And I don't 0:43:17.400 --> 0:43:20.400 know if that's like I don't want to project that 0:43:20.400 --> 0:43:22.839 on Stephanie, Like I want to say, don't worry about it, 0:43:22.960 --> 0:43:26.040 like it's gonna be great, but like I can't really 0:43:26.040 --> 0:43:29.640 say that because that wasn't that wasn't reality for us. 0:43:29.680 --> 0:43:34.000 And I remember with Chase, how often you would you know, 0:43:34.400 --> 0:43:39.600 kind of think out loud to me, uh and say, okay, 0:43:39.640 --> 0:43:42.400 it's you know, so and so weeks they say they 0:43:42.400 --> 0:43:44.960 can still survive like outside the womb, and it was 0:43:45.000 --> 0:43:49.360 like a countdown in your head for every like milestone. Um, 0:43:49.400 --> 0:43:52.000 you know. So I do remember that, and it's it's 0:43:52.000 --> 0:43:55.320 hard not to it's it's easier for it's not easier. 0:43:55.320 --> 0:43:57.879 It's simpler for men because it's not our body, right, 0:43:57.920 --> 0:44:00.000 so it's not unconscious thing every single day, every month, 0:44:00.000 --> 0:44:04.320 moment like y'all. So with that, I empathize for women, 0:44:04.400 --> 0:44:06.960 but you know it is it still involves both of 0:44:07.000 --> 0:44:10.000 you and for the husband, it's just our job too, 0:44:11.560 --> 0:44:14.160 not like I try to do a good job with Jace. 0:44:15.520 --> 0:44:18.200 From what I remember of not diminishing you saying that, 0:44:18.880 --> 0:44:20.120 you know what I mean, Like I wasn't trying to 0:44:20.120 --> 0:44:22.080 take that away from you and just say, baby, you 0:44:22.120 --> 0:44:23.880 can't do anything about that, don't worry about it. Like 0:44:23.920 --> 0:44:27.280 just you know, I don't want to minimize your feeling 0:44:27.320 --> 0:44:29.880 around it at all. I just try to be understanding 0:44:29.880 --> 0:44:32.640 and supportive of it the best that I could be. 0:44:33.280 --> 0:44:35.799 And so I think it's to your point. I mean, 0:44:37.239 --> 0:44:39.680 that's natural for anyone, for any you know, a couple, 0:44:39.760 --> 0:44:43.359 ship or um or woman that's kind of gone through 0:44:43.400 --> 0:44:45.839 that that's going to be normal. Yeah, And I mean 0:44:45.880 --> 0:44:48.799 I would just say this is the worst advice, but 0:44:49.520 --> 0:44:52.279 like you're so close to that one moment where they 0:44:52.320 --> 0:44:56.480 can be possibly living out of the womb, so um, 0:44:56.800 --> 0:44:59.640 just know that like a twenty two weeks, the chances 0:44:59.680 --> 0:45:04.560 are so so, so so small. But again, I I, 0:45:04.560 --> 0:45:06.960 I can't really be like, just be positive and be 0:45:07.000 --> 0:45:09.359 happy because you're a mom and we are going to 0:45:09.400 --> 0:45:11.239 worry for the rest of our lives. That's just the 0:45:11.239 --> 0:45:14.200 reality for sure. All Right, don't want to read this 0:45:14.239 --> 0:45:17.480 one from Shannon because I want to hear your response 0:45:17.600 --> 0:45:20.560 is awesome, baby boy. On the way, I'm expecting. I'm 0:45:20.600 --> 0:45:28.080 expecting our first child. Yeah, I'm expecting our first child. 0:45:28.160 --> 0:45:29.879 I knew deep down from the second we found out 0:45:29.880 --> 0:45:31.600 that we were pregnant he was a boy. And sure 0:45:31.680 --> 0:45:35.919 enough our ultrasound confirmed it. I always and sure enough 0:45:36.040 --> 0:45:38.880 our ultrasound confirmed it. I always saw myself having a 0:45:38.880 --> 0:45:41.720 little girl mini me with lots of feute outfits, Bose, 0:45:41.760 --> 0:45:44.760 playing with barbies, etcetera. I'm curious, now that you have Jace, 0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:47.200 what is the mother's son bond like and what it's 0:45:47.719 --> 0:45:49.960 and what is it like to be a boy mom. 0:45:50.000 --> 0:45:55.200 It's the best, It's the best. I truly did not 0:45:55.400 --> 0:45:58.080 want a boy. I mean I wanted whatever we could have, 0:45:58.280 --> 0:46:00.640 you know, obviously because of the miscarriage is and stuff like. 0:46:00.680 --> 0:46:04.960 I was so grateful, But I imagine two girls and 0:46:05.000 --> 0:46:09.680 then yeah, I just I I never saw myself as 0:46:09.680 --> 0:46:12.160 a boy mom. I didn't know. I mean, we had 0:46:12.239 --> 0:46:15.600 Jolie first, so um, it was just one of those 0:46:15.640 --> 0:46:20.640 things where I didn't really know kind of what to expect. Um. 0:46:20.680 --> 0:46:23.840 It's I remember that when we had Jason. It was 0:46:23.880 --> 0:46:27.680 weird because it was just you know, second time around. 0:46:27.719 --> 0:46:29.760 I was like, oh my gosh, Like I felt different 0:46:29.800 --> 0:46:31.840 when I had him the luve, it just was a 0:46:31.840 --> 0:46:34.320 different kind of love. And so then I started comparing 0:46:34.320 --> 0:46:35.919 it and like, well, do what did I did I love? 0:46:36.239 --> 0:46:37.880 Do I love him as much as I love Jolie 0:46:37.880 --> 0:46:40.080 When I had Jolie, And it was just it kind 0:46:40.080 --> 0:46:43.279 of like played with me a little bit there emotionally. 0:46:43.400 --> 0:46:46.120 But the love that I have for Ja'son is so 0:46:46.239 --> 0:46:47.920 different than the love that I have for Jolie. And 0:46:48.000 --> 0:46:51.399 it's hard to explain, but just he's he's just like 0:46:52.360 --> 0:46:54.759 he's my man, Like he's my little boy. Like I 0:46:54.880 --> 0:46:58.960 just like I'm so obsessed with him, and I just 0:46:59.120 --> 0:47:01.400 can't wait to teach him how to treat a lady 0:47:01.520 --> 0:47:05.680 and and and be respectful and and you know, I 0:47:05.719 --> 0:47:10.440 can't wait to teach him how to you know, skate 0:47:10.480 --> 0:47:12.480 and play hockey or whatever he wants to do. Like 0:47:12.520 --> 0:47:14.680 I just I can't wait to like throw a ball 0:47:14.719 --> 0:47:17.480 with him. And he's just he's so much fun and 0:47:17.520 --> 0:47:22.560 that bond, Like his cuddles are just something beyond my 0:47:22.680 --> 0:47:25.239 daughter's cuddles. Like you know, when Jolie cuddles with me, 0:47:25.280 --> 0:47:28.160 it's it's sweet, but like Ja'son really cuddles with me, 0:47:28.320 --> 0:47:32.600 like he's just like he melts in my arms. And 0:47:32.600 --> 0:47:34.680 it's probably just because the age. But Jolie never did that, 0:47:34.920 --> 0:47:40.720 like she'll cuddle, but she Julie never sat there like Jason, truly, 0:47:40.840 --> 0:47:43.080 even when she was his age. She would just kind 0:47:43.080 --> 0:47:45.000 of get up and keep moving. Jason will sit there 0:47:45.080 --> 0:47:50.520 like lay on. I just I mean, I dore both 0:47:50.600 --> 0:47:53.640 my kids. But the bond with this son, all my 0:47:53.719 --> 0:47:55.959 friends said that, every single one of my girlfriends said 0:47:56.120 --> 0:48:00.200 the mother son bond is something like unlike anything else, 0:48:00.200 --> 0:48:04.359 and it's so true. I love it. All right, let's 0:48:04.400 --> 0:48:08.120 do this last one right here from Lisa c section. 0:48:08.239 --> 0:48:11.600 I've been dealing with the emotional effects and I've been 0:48:11.640 --> 0:48:13.840 dealing with the emotional after effects of a C section 0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:15.680 for a while. Now my daughter is five months old. 0:48:15.680 --> 0:48:18.200 I keep thinking what if or maybe I could have 0:48:18.280 --> 0:48:20.879 done something different to have a vaginal birth. I also 0:48:20.920 --> 0:48:23.240 feel like the physical part of it is tough too. 0:48:23.760 --> 0:48:26.480 I was always into fitness, but now I feel like 0:48:26.520 --> 0:48:29.319 I have extra weight or the bubble above this car 0:48:29.520 --> 0:48:32.240 to get rid of. I know Jason was a C section. 0:48:32.360 --> 0:48:34.080 Did you feel this way at all? How did you 0:48:34.080 --> 0:48:35.799 get through it? And how do you lose the extra 0:48:35.800 --> 0:48:39.240 bubble above this car bubble and going nowhere. Um showed 0:48:39.280 --> 0:48:40.640 Mike it the other day when I was wearing a 0:48:40.640 --> 0:48:44.600 bathing suit. I said, oh my god. I was like, Babe, 0:48:44.640 --> 0:48:47.319 do you see this? And I was like, look at 0:48:47.320 --> 0:48:49.240 this really big dip right here and then the bubble 0:48:49.280 --> 0:48:52.120 above it. And he was like okay, and I was like, really, 0:48:52.120 --> 0:48:54.120 I can't even tell. But I was like, I'm so 0:48:54.160 --> 0:48:57.319 self conscious of it, but at the same time, I'm 0:48:57.360 --> 0:48:59.839 not because I'm like, it's my mom's car, like it's 0:49:00.280 --> 0:49:05.240 it's what makes me mom. I embrace the saggyear belly, 0:49:05.320 --> 0:49:08.840 and you know, my my trainer always says stop drinking 0:49:09.000 --> 0:49:12.279 wine and your drink work stuff, and I say, I'm 0:49:12.280 --> 0:49:15.279 good with the belly. Then I'm great. I don't care, 0:49:15.520 --> 0:49:17.600 Like I've always kind of had a little bellies since 0:49:17.680 --> 0:49:20.120 high school, like this just the bottom part. But I'm 0:49:20.160 --> 0:49:23.480 just saying, like it's I'm just I'm not. I've never 0:49:23.520 --> 0:49:26.480 had a natural flat stomach. Ever when I'm laying down, 0:49:26.480 --> 0:49:29.680 I do, but like, never naturally flat. And now that 0:49:29.719 --> 0:49:31.759 I'm my mom, it's obviously stretched a little bit. And 0:49:31.800 --> 0:49:35.520 I embrace highwaisted stuff and I'm fine with it. I 0:49:35.560 --> 0:49:40.640 don't care enough to quit drinking and stop eating pizza 0:49:40.680 --> 0:49:45.400 and cookies like I don't, I don't care enough. And honestly, 0:49:45.520 --> 0:49:48.080 it's like I'm embracing the mom bod. So I just say, 0:49:48.200 --> 0:49:53.320 Lisa embraced the mom bod and then vaginal verse C section. 0:49:53.360 --> 0:49:55.799 I mean, sure what I've loved to have tried, yes, 0:49:55.920 --> 0:49:59.439 but we're not peeing ourselves when we jump up and down. 0:49:59.520 --> 0:50:01.680 So like, well, you did try, but Jolie had to 0:50:01.680 --> 0:50:03.520 be taken out and so that kind of set the 0:50:03.560 --> 0:50:05.200 stage for the next one. Yeah, and for the next one, 0:50:05.239 --> 0:50:06.719 I was like, well, maybe I'll try v back and 0:50:06.760 --> 0:50:09.880 I'm like, I've already got the scar let's just go 0:50:10.000 --> 0:50:12.320 for it. Um but no, I mean I think it 0:50:12.480 --> 0:50:15.880 God's that was God's plan, God's way, Baby's way, and 0:50:16.480 --> 0:50:22.279 you can't, um second second guess that. But anyhow, I 0:50:22.360 --> 0:50:24.760 love you guys, d MS on the wind Down podcast. 0:50:24.840 --> 0:50:27.920 If you have any questions, and um, don't forget to 0:50:27.920 --> 0:50:29.919 go to Janna and Mike dot com to pre order 0:50:30.080 --> 0:50:33.239 The Good Fight. Tell your friends, tell your cousins, tell 0:50:33.280 --> 0:50:37.439 your parents, and tell everybody. See you all next week.