1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 1: Wind down and you're getting better and better at that. 2 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 1: You're just taking my role. There. I love it. So 3 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: here we are again, and we're going to start pretty 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 1: much every episode by plugging our own book because because 5 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: why not. Well, I'll say this. I was talking to 6 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: Bobby Bones the other day and it was so cool 7 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: because he acknowledged during the interview that pre orders are 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: so important for especially first time authors like us because 9 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,520 Speaker 1: in order to make the you know, the New York 10 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: best time selling lists like it's um, they take into 11 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 1: account um the pre orders. But it's only that first week, 12 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,240 Speaker 1: so you know, it's just so important to have people 13 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,520 Speaker 1: pre order it. Um. That way we have a chance 14 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,959 Speaker 1: at it maybe you know. Yeah, I mean so from 15 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 1: now until the time it's physically on aile is really 16 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: the most crucial time. Why buy it? Why buy it? 17 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: Great question, honey, UM buy it because it's funny and 18 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 1: it's real and it's You're gonna read things about us 19 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: that you haven't heard on this podcast, which is surprising. 20 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: But let's give him something. You're gonna hear. We talked 21 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: about this when we first introduced it last week, but 22 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: you're gonna hear you know, each chapter us starting off 23 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: with a story from our relationship of some kind of conflict, 24 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: some heavier than others, some super surface level and silly, 25 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: but some kind of conflict where we're almost positive that 26 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 1: majority of you out there that do read it will 27 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: kind of nod your head and be like, I've been there, 28 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: you know, in one end of the in either shoes 29 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: of that relationship, Like I feel like, you know, most 30 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: people and couple ships will be like yea that us 31 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: or yep, I'm this person, or what about if you're single? 32 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: If you're single, the same thing, because it's not just 33 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: about your current relationship, it's about relationships of your past. 34 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: But like, oh, I remember what I was dating so 35 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 1: and so, Like that was so us or I definitely 36 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: did that or he or she definitely was was that way. 37 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: And then going on from there, the tools that we 38 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,959 Speaker 1: we talked about and that we've learned in our experience 39 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: can be things that anyone who's single right now can 40 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 1: use into their next relationship. Why did you want to 41 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: write a book? I feel like I'm interviewing you, I know, right, 42 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: bring it um. You know it took me a while. 43 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: It took me a while to get comfortable with the 44 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 1: idea because of the first Originally it was yours, like 45 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,679 Speaker 1: we had kind of touched on where you had a 46 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,360 Speaker 1: book you were going to write and tell things primarily 47 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: from your side. It was more about your life before us, 48 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: but then obviously the majority of it was the abusive relationship. 49 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: So once uh, you know, you kind of put that 50 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,239 Speaker 1: thought in my head and started sharing d m s 51 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:09,920 Speaker 1: with me and people's comments about you know, how the 52 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: little things we were saying at the time could be helpful, 53 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 1: and it has been helpful, it can be helpful. I 54 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: slowly started to see that silver lining. And it's taken 55 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: you know, the past year of us working on this 56 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 1: project to to get to where we feel like the 57 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: book is the best it can possibly possibly be. What's 58 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: one thing in the book where you still struggle with 59 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: maybe what you wrote because we wrote every word and 60 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: we're typing like we talk, and it's, uh, there's some 61 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: things why I even call myself out in the book 62 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: where I like, I feel like a little bit writing 63 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: this right now. I feel like an idiot. I feel 64 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: so stupid writing what I'm writing in this moment, and 65 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: I literally say that in the book, like I feel 66 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: so embarrassed right right right now writing this, but blah 67 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. What do you mean? 68 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: Just the vulnerable feelings on my feeling a moment that 69 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: that made seem so like, that felt silly even me 70 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: writing it about it, I was like, God, looking back 71 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: on that, that was so stupid, that was so immature, 72 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: that was so whatever. But that's how it was in 73 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: that moment. So it was just you know, I mean, like, 74 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: is there one thing where like you read and you're like, 75 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: I have to do better at that? Oh yeah, I 76 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: mean a lot of it. I mean that's the thing 77 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: that you know, we gotta we gotta practice what we preached, 78 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: you know, significantly more consistently. And for me, it's being 79 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: consistent with my actions, always being honest and you know, 80 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 1: being soft and being empathetic and not being not getting 81 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: mean when I get angry. And so yeah, there's all 82 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: of it I can work on. I mean, there's no 83 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: one's gonna master parts of your relationship because I mean 84 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 1: I can say the same thing for me to like, 85 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: I you know, I should pause more or I should 86 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: you know, I'm very quick to to be triggered and 87 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,839 Speaker 1: to you know, which is why I like the Pauls 88 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: should come first. And so it's funny like when you know, 89 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 1: because we're still editing certain things in our book and 90 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: we're still having to reread it, and it's so interesting, 91 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: like we we write it because we've been taught it, 92 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: but we still don't do it perfectly. And so sometimes 93 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, well, how could we say this if we're 94 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: not even doing it perfect and so but I that's 95 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: just what I've come to find out that it's we're 96 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: will never do it perfectly. We'll just we just do 97 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: it better, right, I mean, therapists have therapists even when 98 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: our therapist is like yeah, I mean you know the 99 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: wife had that saying, I'm like, wait, so you still 100 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: have those like it doesn't just stop, like so like 101 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: this will continue to be the thing. But I think 102 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:56,360 Speaker 1: hearing that kind of squashed any kind of reality in 103 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: my brain that it is normal. Even when I was 104 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: walking with one of my walking crew, it's like, oh 105 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: he yels like so it's it's almost like you you 106 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: imagine it humanizes almost like your relationship to and be 107 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: like oh okay, like all right, and then I'm like, well, 108 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: how often does he yell so, but it's just it's interesting, 109 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,840 Speaker 1: how you know, you you there's things that we are 110 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,039 Speaker 1: still trying to do better and learn from. But I 111 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 1: think it's great that we can still which is why 112 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 1: I asked you that because I know for me, I 113 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,159 Speaker 1: looked back and I was like, oh, yeah, I can, 114 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: I can do better with do better with this um 115 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: and especially since we're I don't want to say teaching it, 116 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: but especially since we're giving the gift of what we've 117 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: been given to others, you know, hopefully they can they 118 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:50,119 Speaker 1: can use those tools too. Yeah, And I think that's 119 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 1: a the whole point of it. The whole point of 120 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: this book is for people to realize that they aren't 121 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 1: just like you're saying, oh they he yells too or 122 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 1: you you know, it's that's the whole point of this book. 123 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 1: It's for people to not feel alone and the things 124 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: that they go through and the fact that we talked 125 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: about obviously have talked about so much of you know, 126 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: taboo subjects like infidelity and even things like infertility and 127 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: miscarriages and all of that. It's, you know, we talk 128 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: about all those things and you don't want to normalize that, like, oh, 129 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: it's just another thing you have to deal with. But again, 130 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 1: we're trying to give a gift of not feel alone. Sure, 131 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: and again for those people that you know, because I 132 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: had a lot of people reach out to me being like, well, 133 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: I'm single, I don't really think I need it. But 134 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: there's so many things, especially the communication chapter or um 135 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: being part of a team, or um, you know, cleaning 136 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: your side of the street, seting your side of the street, 137 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: which is huge, and like I was like, oh, I 138 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: wish I had this book when I was single, because 139 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: there's so many things that I maybe wouldn't have repeated 140 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: patterns and relationships. I would have looked in the mirror 141 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: and stopped, you know, even when it comes to like 142 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: my parents, Like I blamed my dad for so long, 143 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: Like it's not my dad, that's fault that like I 144 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: continue to do these things, it's my fault, Like yeah, 145 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: I might have seen certain things, but it's not like 146 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: it's and I just I wish I had that gift. 147 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: The two of the first chapters, Cleaning your Side of 148 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: the Street and Baggage are chapters that are perfect for 149 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: people that aren't even in relationships. It's perfect. It's obviously 150 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: perfect for people in relationships, but it's almost even better 151 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: for people that aren't, because these are two areas that 152 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: the more you know about cleaning your start of the street, 153 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: the more you acknowledge the baggage that you bring into 154 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: a relationship, that better prepared you are to be close 155 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 1: to and intimate with that person. Can you imagine the 156 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: gift you would have given. I mean, I feel like, 157 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:43,959 Speaker 1: you know, well, yeah, never mind what nothing, No, I 158 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, to be able to do 159 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 1: your work before you get into the next relationship is 160 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: such a gift for the other person. Oh yeah, and yourself. Yeah, 161 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,439 Speaker 1: and yourself because then you know, you know where this 162 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: stuff comes from. You know what you're going into the 163 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: table and what you have to deal with, and so 164 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: you're you're more emotionally stable for the relationship. But it 165 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: takes two. Look, we're we're just so excited about this 166 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 1: and we just hope you'll give it a chance because 167 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: we really think they could help a lot of people. Yeah, So, um, 168 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: go to Jana and Mike dot com to preorder your 169 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: copy and I we will personalize a copy if you 170 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 1: go to the Parnassis so Jana Mike dot com and 171 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 1: if you want a personalized copy. UM, click on the 172 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: Parnasis tub because we are supporting our local bookstore here 173 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: and they really needed those sales, and we got a 174 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: letter from the owner. Basically we saved essentially their store. 175 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 1: So we're just if we soldies just to that store 176 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: the first we're in the first weekend, but I think, um, 177 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: we want to reach out to any other bookstore. So 178 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: if you guys have any other bookstores that you know 179 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: might need the help, we definitely want to highlight some 180 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: other stores as well, just because especially during this time, 181 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 1: you know, people obviously aren't going to their local bookstores 182 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: and we know how easy it is to you know, 183 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: be able to just go online. So UM, if you 184 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: have any local bookstores that you guys want us to 185 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: shout out and um try to get our books in 186 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: there to uh have people pre order, let us know 187 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,080 Speaker 1: and just go to the wind Down podcast and d 188 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: M S. Let's take a break and then let's talk 189 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 1: about our guests, all right, So we have Nicole lapin 190 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 1: coming on the show later today. Super excited about her. 191 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: She's the New York best selling author of Rich Bitch 192 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: and Boss Bitch. UM super excited to talk to her. 193 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,959 Speaker 1: She's got a new book out right now called Becoming Superwoman. 194 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna get my notepad and pen ready because 195 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: I'm super pumped about that. Anything new in your world, Michael, 196 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 1: I've just gotten too cycling. Yes, you did, for those 197 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: of those who for those of you who do not 198 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:13,439 Speaker 1: follow Joanna on Instagram. So I was kind of that 199 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,959 Speaker 1: and I've always kind of wanted to do it because 200 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: my joints are bad from playing football and it's it 201 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: kind of helps with you know, load bearing and stress 202 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: relief on your joints. But I really dove in, haven't I? 203 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 1: You have? Yeah? I mean you different outfits, survived every 204 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: day to the door, so you're really you're really going 205 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 1: for it. I like it, though, I mean, I'm proud 206 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: of you that you're, you know, you found something that 207 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 1: you really like to do and you're you've stuck to 208 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,559 Speaker 1: it and it's been, you know, something for you that 209 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 1: you love, and you know, we've kind of like how 210 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 1: my walks are for me, and we've been able to 211 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: be like, okay, like when are you walking, When when 212 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: are you biking, and knowing that we both need that 213 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:56,599 Speaker 1: for our sanity during this time because we're still practicing 214 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: the stay at home. Yeah, it's been good. Yeah, absolutely, 215 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: and I feel I know, I feel better too, because 216 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: you know, you would have your walks almost every day 217 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 1: or your workout time, and I wasn't as diligent on 218 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: my workout time, and it didn't really feel like I 219 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: was getting away. It was just in the garage. So 220 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: to be able to go out for an hour or 221 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: two hours and ride, you know, are we going to 222 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: two hours? Because I mean last week the like twenty 223 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: five miles I was, you know, I'm gonna have to 224 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: up my walk time then because look, hey, I don't 225 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 1: think I'm gonna be working to that like sixty seventy 226 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 1: five mile range where I'm going for like five hours. 227 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: But it's I've really enjoyed it, and it's one of 228 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: those things again I said, I I've always had an 229 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: interest in doing physically, and now I'm finally I'm finally 230 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: doing it. Is there anything like for you physically that man, 231 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: rock climbing has always been something or there's something like 232 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: that that you're kayaking on a regular basis that you've 233 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 1: always been intrigued by. I mean, I remember the last 234 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: time I went rock climbing. I went with this person 235 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: and I was just like crying the entire time because 236 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: I was like, please give me down because I was 237 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: so afraid the witch and mccaule thing was going to break. 238 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: But it was. I mean, it was fun, but not really. Um. 239 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,959 Speaker 1: I love hiking, and you know how many times I'm 240 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,079 Speaker 1: I was like, I want to hike out, Let's go hiking. 241 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: And so it's that's one thing that I really miss, 242 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: like not living in Los Angeles, because I just I 243 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: love going for hikes. So do you like glorified walking 244 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: hiking or do you like when we went to BlackBerry Farms, 245 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 1: you know in Tennessee, and that was awesome. We were 246 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 1: like straight up hands and knees. The incline was so steep. 247 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: That was a little mind. But I like like the 248 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: you know, the Percy Warner Hike here in Nashville, and 249 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: I just I love that because just to be in nature, 250 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: and I'm such an outdoor person like I I would 251 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: love to do that more often. It's just it's just 252 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: hard because again we're you know, we don't really have 253 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 1: the the help for that right now. For sure, I'll 254 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,679 Speaker 1: be interested in on what other things are out there 255 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 1: that people have been interested in doing physically. That's just different. 256 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I want to do um volleyball. How many 257 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 1: times have I said, like, I want to do sand 258 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: volleyball more often? Like if I could do a volleyball 259 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: game like once a week, I would be the happiest 260 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 1: person ever. Like, I just think it's so cool. That's 261 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: some good exercise, I know, And I'm really good at it. 262 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: I'm so good, so of course I want to do it. 263 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: You know, only wants to do things that she's going 264 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: to be the best at. That's not true. You're so competitive. No, 265 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: I'm just competitive. I'm really not that good. Actually, I'm 266 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 1: like the shortest person, so I can't spike for ship. Yeah, 267 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: but your good support. I'm a good cheerleader. Um. Yeah, 268 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: how's the mental game? How are you mentally? Mentally? Huh 269 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 1: what a deep question. Um, I'm good. I'm good. Um 270 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 1: it's I think I'm just hitting a routine. Like we're 271 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 1: kind of in our routine. We're kind of you know, 272 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: days blend together, but we're doing our thing we have. 273 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 1: You know, we're rving up to michigandist to your family 274 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: for the fourth of July, and so we're looking forward 275 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: to that that's kind of like the light at the 276 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 1: end of the tunnel. I think right now, for me mentally, 277 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: we're in another month, We're going to be hitting the 278 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: road and just kind of getting out of dodge for 279 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah, what about you. Yeah, I mean 280 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: I think I I go into waves like I'm bummed 281 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: that you know, we're probably not going to have I'm 282 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: just I'm bummed on the missed opportunities of this year. 283 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: Um because again, like those things don't come around as often, 284 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: like the movie and things like that, and you know, 285 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: just I mean financially everyone's kind of in well not everyone, 286 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 1: but the people that you know, our entertainers and stuff, 287 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: and you know, beyond entertainment, there's a lot of people 288 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 1: that are struggling right now. So I you know, we 289 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: can't complain, you know, because we we we can still 290 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: do this and other things. But I think just having 291 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: those like missed opportunities has been has just been a 292 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 1: bummer for um. And like the tour and um, you know, 293 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: all of that has been just something where it's kind 294 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: of like that stinks. And so some days I think 295 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: about it and then it kind of gets me down. 296 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 1: But but then I positively think, Okay, well, look how 297 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: much time because I remember in the beginning of the year, 298 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: I started to have massive anxiety. Remember I said, every 299 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 1: single weekend I'm going to be gone, whether it's a 300 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: wine down, or it's the movie or it's a show 301 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,480 Speaker 1: on the road. I was going to be gone almost 302 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 1: every single years, every weekend except for one every month. 303 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 1: It's like three weekends out of every month, you're gonna 304 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: be gone. Yeah. Like, I just started to have like 305 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 1: anxiety about it. And then you know, me and my 306 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: girls had planned a trip together one of those weekends, 307 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: and I was like, I didn't remember I told you. 308 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to cancel it because I can't. 309 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: I can't be away from the kids this much. And now, 310 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: you know, I think that was like all right, it's 311 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: like I'm taking it all away. You're complaining, I'll take 312 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: it all What's completely off subject. But again, people follow 313 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 1: you know that we like to play games. What's a 314 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: favorite game that we've played kind of during this this 315 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: break that you've just really enjoyed. I mean, Cube is 316 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 1: always a good one. And then I just like the 317 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:09,640 Speaker 1: easiness and the fastness of Mencola. Yeah, it's just it's 318 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: just easy. It's just like, let's throw some like the 319 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,160 Speaker 1: little pepples in some little holes. Yeah, it's like that's 320 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: just fun. Yeah, so it's easy, it's sinless. There's no 321 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: real thinking about it. No, it's just I like that 322 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 1: one that just in the middle of games. And then yeah, 323 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 1: Ronnie Cube's obviously one of my faiths for that. And 324 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 1: then I really want to play Frutigo again. Gina wants 325 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: to play Strategic Strtigo because she would my ask the 326 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,199 Speaker 1: first time we played it. She never even heard of 327 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 1: the game. I used to play it as a kid 328 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 1: all the time with my best friend growing up, Eric, 329 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,640 Speaker 1: and we played all the time. And I bring it out, like, Jenna, 330 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 1: you're gonna love this game. She's like, fine, I'll play 331 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: it with you. Whoops, my ass. She's like, let's play again. 332 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: We have not played since, so we need to. I 333 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 1: guess do that. Hey, what book are you reading right 334 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: now in your morning meditation time? How to be an 335 00:17:55,880 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 1: adult in a relationship? Really? What are you learning? Tell 336 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:06,879 Speaker 1: me more? Um, it's right now because I started it 337 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,439 Speaker 1: before I started uh and respect, love and respect. So 338 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: I've been recapping some things and a lot of it's 339 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: redundant with you know. Uh, there's he does like the 340 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 1: five a's is like accountability, acknowledge, acceptance, awareness, and I 341 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 1: don't remember the fifth one, but he's just talking about 342 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 1: all of those like within your relationship and kind of 343 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: how you know you you It's it's his way of 344 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: kind of saying owning your side, like controlling what you 345 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: can control. Um. So I'm I'm looking forward to diving 346 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: deeper into that book and reading new, newer stuff that 347 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: no new stuff yet, no, because I didn't. I wanted 348 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: to make sure I didn't skip anything like just really skim, 349 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: you know. So I wanted to make sure I'm still 350 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: grasping the concept of the things I've read. Anything stick out, nothing, 351 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 1: nothing right now, nothing that we haven't talked about, Nothing 352 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: that's that's really new, especially stuff that I've that we've 353 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 1: brought up before. So but I'll be in touch with 354 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 1: you all about what I'm learning and how to be 355 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: an adult in a relationship. All right, We're gonna take 356 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 1: one more break before we have a Nicole lapping on 357 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:30,879 Speaker 1: and talking to her about everything she's got going. All right, 358 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 1: Jane and I are so excited to have our next guest. 359 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,480 Speaker 1: She is a New York Times bestselling author of the 360 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,919 Speaker 1: books Rich Bitch and Boss Bitch, and now she's on 361 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,920 Speaker 1: to promote her third book, which she's gonna tell you 362 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:46,919 Speaker 1: all about. Welcome Nicole Lapping. Hey girl, hey lady. You 363 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: know we were on the Doctors together. I don't know 364 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 1: if you remember. I was like a segment after you, 365 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 1: and then I was hosting Founder Made and we reconnected her. 366 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 1: Oh that's right, that's right, that's you know, I look 367 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: like a homeless person now, but when I no, no no same, 368 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 1: I've no makeup, just got out of the shower. So 369 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 1: this is this is the new the new look. But no, yes, 370 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 1: absolutely remember um? And so how Rich Bitch and Boss Bitch? 371 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 1: How when did those come out? Rich Witch was my 372 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: first book, and now we're on the fourth edition, which 373 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: is bananas because people still keep buying it. You know, 374 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 1: there is not a resetta stone for finance, and I 375 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: think a lot of women want to get their financial 376 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: lives together, but it's really complicated with the jargon in 377 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:32,879 Speaker 1: the language. So that actually out six years ago. Then 378 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: Boss which came out after that, then Becoming Superwoman came out, 379 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,960 Speaker 1: and I may be birthing more book babies. No actual 380 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: babies yet, just a lot of book babies. I like 381 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: and I know I love it. How did you get 382 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: into the whole like with rich bitch? Like, how did 383 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 1: you start off, like, you know, basically becoming that rich bitch? 384 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 1: So I grew up in an immigrant family, first generation American, 385 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 1: just use cash, had like a super broken home, needed 386 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,360 Speaker 1: to start working early on, and I just needed a job, 387 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 1: and I wanted to be in TV news, So you 388 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: go back in the day there was like no skipping 389 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: steps on YouTube and whatever. Like. I went to small 390 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: markets in South Dakota and Kentucky and tried to work 391 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,159 Speaker 1: my way up, and I got a job as a 392 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,000 Speaker 1: business news reporter and they asked me if I knew 393 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: anything about business, and I totally on live and I 394 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: said absolutely. And I faked it till I made it. 395 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 1: And I realized that money is just language like anything else. 396 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 1: And if you go to China you don't seech Chinese, 397 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,560 Speaker 1: you'll be super confused. And if you go to wall Stream, 398 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 1: you don't speak the language with money, you'll be super confused. 399 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: But once I figured it out, and I'm the least 400 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: likely person to do it, like I didn't want to 401 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 1: do anything with money. Guys, my boyfriend in high school 402 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: said he wanted to be a hedge fund manager. I 403 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 1: thought you wanted to be gardening. So like, I'm extremely 404 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: I was extremely clueless. I love it. And then now 405 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: your book Becoming Superwoman, So what's it says is it's 406 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: simple twelve step planned to go from burnout to balance. 407 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 1: So tell me, like, tell me all of that, Like 408 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,920 Speaker 1: how how did you get to the book? Like? How 409 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: do I become a superwoman? What do I have to do? Do? 410 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 1: I write an S on my chest like what? What? 411 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: What telled me? All the ways? I am here for that? 412 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: And by the way, you already are a superwoman and 413 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: a total boss this um So I ended up getting 414 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: to network news way earlier than I expected as an 415 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: a gru on CNN and then CNBC and Bloomberg, and 416 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: I worked and self prescribed, not drugs or alcohol, but 417 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 1: work to hide from that really traumatic upbringing I had. 418 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 1: And I ultimately, you know, worked and work some more 419 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 1: and it kicks my butt. And I had a mental emotional, 420 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,920 Speaker 1: physical breakdown that stemmed from severe burnout and an emergency 421 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 1: itatements to the hospital that made me rethink everything and 422 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,480 Speaker 1: how I was working, And at that moment, I realized 423 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,679 Speaker 1: I was trying to be Superwoman, the character with a 424 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: one word version who tries to do it all and 425 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,120 Speaker 1: be it all and be all things to all people, 426 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: so ultimately she's nothing to herself. And I wanted to 427 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 1: just be a super space woman, a woman who puts 428 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 1: or oxygen mask on first before helping others. So how 429 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 1: do you do it? Though? Like tell me, like what, 430 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,679 Speaker 1: like what's the first step in in in doing that 431 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: and finding that balance? Because I feel like right now 432 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 1: this book is an amazing time for COVID because I 433 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,719 Speaker 1: feel like a lot of us feel burnt you know, 434 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: we feel that burntout feeling, and I feel like this 435 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,359 Speaker 1: is coming at the best time to almost reinvent yourself 436 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 1: through all the burnout totally. And the first step is 437 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,719 Speaker 1: always admitting you have a problem. All my books are 438 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 1: twelve step plans because that is the first step, you know. 439 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: I did the lads of study ever done on women 440 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,880 Speaker 1: and burnout, and I found that women are reaching burnout 441 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 1: and breakdown levels in the eighty and ninety ranges, but 442 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: only half of us think that that's the problem. So 443 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:49,280 Speaker 1: there's a huge difference between actually swimming and just not drowning. 444 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,640 Speaker 1: And so we're saying like, oh, it's overwhelming, but it's cool, 445 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 1: nothing to see. We just can keep going. And that's 446 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 1: where the issue lies. And I think now when we're 447 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: trying to figure out this new noise normal and boundaries 448 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 1: and balanced here you know, as you guys know, the 449 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,479 Speaker 1: whole day can be really chaotic, but your morning and 450 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:10,159 Speaker 1: evening routines are what you can control. So you know, 451 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 1: if you start your day off with gratitude and not 452 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: going down email fire fighting rabbit hole, it changes the 453 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 1: course of your day. Um. Studies have shown that, you know, 454 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: gratitude helps us actually look for more of that throughout 455 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,400 Speaker 1: the day. And then at the end of the day. 456 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 1: I used to think, like, how am I never able 457 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,399 Speaker 1: to sleep well? Hello, Captain obvious? Maybe it was because 458 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: I shined a bright light of my phone in front 459 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,919 Speaker 1: of my eyeball, um until I fell asleep. So I 460 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 1: think that those are what we can control. Like, we 461 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,359 Speaker 1: can't control the global economy it's bad, um, but we 462 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: can control ourselves and our own economy is that's all 463 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,160 Speaker 1: we can control. And any relationship, by the way, you're 464 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: only responsible you can only control of that fifty when 465 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 1: that's you. So your book so it focuses on on 466 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,399 Speaker 1: life balance, but also financial balance as well. Absolutely, And 467 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: I think the trick is to figure out what the 468 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 1: definition of balances because a bunch of ladies in particular 469 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,360 Speaker 1: will say like, I'm lost balance or I'm most budget. 470 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, bro, did you even have a budget? You 471 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: even have a definition of balance? Or are you just 472 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,639 Speaker 1: comparing yourselves to other ladies on Instagram who are baking 473 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: banana bread and feeling bad about yourself? But like, is 474 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,120 Speaker 1: that's not on your definition of balance, then like, then 475 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,920 Speaker 1: don't feel bad about yourself. That's maybe that ladies definitions. 476 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: But first I think it's important to figure out what 477 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,920 Speaker 1: that looks like to you and stop changing the bar 478 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,240 Speaker 1: because for so long in my career I felt like 479 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: I would be happy or I would be balanced when 480 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 1: I got there a certain job or a certain salary, 481 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: And then I got there and there was almost immediately 482 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: another there there, and so we keep changing the old 483 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: posts on ourselves. I do have a question too about 484 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,399 Speaker 1: kind of the times right now. Is there a financial 485 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: mistake that people might be making right now? During COVID times? 486 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,680 Speaker 1: A lot, and I am I've never worked so hard. Actually, 487 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 1: it's like a financial new super Bowl right now because 488 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,359 Speaker 1: women in particular care because we're reactive in that nature. 489 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 1: It's hard to get you to care about finances proactively, 490 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: but now everybody has to. And so you know, pulling 491 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 1: out of the market, for instance, whether it's with your 492 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 1: retirement fund or your investments, is all emotional, right, And 493 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: there's two adages on wall streets that are true. Everything 494 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: else is subjective. One of them is by low sell high. 495 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: So right now things are more towards the low than 496 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,720 Speaker 1: the high. Stuff is on sale. So instead of pulling out, 497 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 1: I think the biggest mistake, um is not actually putting 498 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: more in if you can. So, so to put more 499 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 1: in is is the right thing to do if you 500 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 1: have a long term investment horizon, so if you're not 501 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: retiring in the next five or ten years, and if 502 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 1: you're not putting all your money in there and your 503 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 1: dollar cost averaging, which is fancy terminology for just putting 504 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 1: in a little bits at a time to hedge for 505 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 1: all the fluctuations. And it is a great time, and 506 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: great fortunes have been made during tough economic times. Recessions 507 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 1: and depressions and economic downturn. With that said, though, too, 508 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 1: what about refinancing your house? So if you can refinance, 509 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 1: this would be an awesome time to do it. Are 510 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: you guys thinking about that? Well, I mean we got that, 511 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: we got a great rate, but I know that we 512 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 1: could actually even get lower now. Um. So I was 513 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 1: just wondering if that's something where it would only be 514 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 1: like a point something off, It wouldn't be an actual 515 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,680 Speaker 1: whole number down. So is that is that worth it 516 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: or no? Girl? Absolutely a point something. I don't say, 517 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 1: I know nothing about like the you know, Michael's the 518 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 1: you know he's he's the thirty year fixed and I'm like, 519 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: let's do five. And because because I'm always looking at 520 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,359 Speaker 1: the lower number, like of you know, the mortgage, and 521 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,679 Speaker 1: I'm I'm not as much. Um, so, okay, that's interesting. 522 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 1: I'll have to call. Oftentimes we end up spending double 523 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,160 Speaker 1: the amount we paid for our house just in interest. 524 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 1: So if you can point something per sentially, if you 525 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 1: can have a calculator, girl, that is going to turn 526 00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 1: out to be a lot of money. And by the 527 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,320 Speaker 1: some folks are refinancing lower because back in the day, 528 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,920 Speaker 1: like our parents would think you know, six percent is 529 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,920 Speaker 1: an awesome mortgage. Now that sounds really high, and even 530 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: if you spend more on your monthly payments, but you 531 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 1: shorten the term, that could really be great in the 532 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 1: long run. Never been this blow even if it's like 533 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:24,159 Speaker 1: a point to difference. Girl like like, I like, I 534 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: know nothing. So that's why I'm like, because I would think, like, Okay, 535 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,240 Speaker 1: let's say if a mortgage rate was four six and 536 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: you can get it for three six, Like that's different 537 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 1: to me, Like that's because that's a one percent difference. 538 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 1: But I didn't know if like a point something would 539 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: make a difference. If it's like ask a question if 540 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 1: I was like, hey, can I give you a hundred 541 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: dollars or a thousand dollars and you're like, I'm not 542 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 1: gonna take the hundred dollars because not a thousand dollars? Okay, 543 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: point maybe okay, got it. I'm gonna we're going to 544 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 1: call the business manager as soon as we're all alright. 545 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: Speaking of money and everything, you have this money school 546 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: challenge they're talking about. Tell us about that in our 547 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,479 Speaker 1: listeners as well. These are challenging times, of course, and 548 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 1: you know we have so many questions about how to 549 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: save money. I had to budget money, how to make money, 550 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 1: and so I put together my money master class, which 551 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: is called the Money School. I was so tired for 552 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: years and years and years saying like, why don't we 553 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: learn that stuff in school? We learned such ads, stuff 554 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 1: like as you guys know and you probably homeschool, Like, 555 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,120 Speaker 1: so why do we need to know geometry and the 556 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 1: Pythagrean theorem. Why don't we learn how to do the 557 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 1: budget or taxes or business plan like that would be 558 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: really more valuable, or figure out how to refinance. And 559 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 1: so I was saying that so much that I was like, Okay, 560 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: well I might as well just make that I'll just 561 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 1: do it. And so I created twelve video modules and 562 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 1: worksheets and quizzes, and then I put all of my 563 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,080 Speaker 1: templates and everything together in a bundle. So if people 564 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:46,240 Speaker 1: do want to get their financial life together and focus 565 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 1: on financial literacy, you know, we complain a lot about money, 566 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 1: but actually ask yourself, how long have you actually done 567 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 1: something about it? Like take the same amount of time 568 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: that you would have used to plan a vacation or 569 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: buy boots, and just like read some financial book or 570 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 1: it doesn't even have to be mine or take a 571 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: class and actually educate yourself about it. Because we can't 572 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 1: hear our heads in the stand. We can't assume that 573 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: a man is a financial plan Like I cannot stand 574 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 1: when I hear that, or I used to hear that 575 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 1: at events across the country. Um, you know, I think 576 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,720 Speaker 1: we didn't learn it in school. We may have had 577 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 1: a terrible upbringing. Okay, so we didn't learn it. That's 578 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: no excuse now, like forgive your former self for what 579 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 1: she didn't know, but to say, like it's not a 580 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 1: pain moving forward. I got to get my big girl 581 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 1: andyvon and handle it. I think that's so true because 582 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 1: I didn't. I mean, this is you're gonna like probably like, 583 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, But I didn't start. Actually, I didn't 584 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: have a I didn't put any money into a portfolio 585 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 1: until probably just a few years ago because I didn't know, 586 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: and like I was so worried about the number and 587 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,000 Speaker 1: the account and my business manager, you know, he was like, 588 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 1: you have to start putting money into some kind of 589 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: like so you your money can make something for you. 590 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: But I was so fearful because of the industry that 591 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: you know, I've I've been in there. I'm like, I 592 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: don't know if I'm ever going to make money again, 593 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 1: and what if that money goes away, I'm screwed, Like 594 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 1: I won't have anything. But all that time that I 595 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 1: could have had it in something growing, it just it's 596 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,600 Speaker 1: it's slowly been just annoying me to be like, like, 597 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,760 Speaker 1: why did it? Why wasn't I smarter with my money? 598 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,280 Speaker 1: Why wasn't I Why didn't I take more risks? And 599 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: why didn't I almost bet on myself because I for 600 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 1: all those years, my entire twenties into my early thirties, 601 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 1: I didn't bet on myself. I just I bet on uncertainty, 602 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 1: and I bet on you know, things not working out, 603 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,200 Speaker 1: and I bet on you know, going in the right again. 604 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 1: Because for the the pretty much my entire twenties, my 605 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 1: bank account would go from red to normal, from red 606 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 1: to normal, from red to normal until really my late 607 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 1: twenties was when I started to actually make some kind 608 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,240 Speaker 1: of money. And it's just I get frustrated that I 609 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 1: never put anything away because I just started my retirement 610 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 1: and I'm thirty six years old. Um so I do 611 00:31:54,600 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 1: get a little why are you laughing at me? But yeah, 612 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: so I'm like, I just wish I would have I 613 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: would have been smarter. But it's it's hard to bet 614 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 1: on yourself, I guess. But it's the would as should have, 615 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 1: could haves. And we you know, we're never as young 616 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,240 Speaker 1: as we are today, right, And it's you know, it's 617 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 1: it's never too late to start, truly, and the earlier 618 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 1: you do, you get to reach the benefits of compounding interest, 619 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 1: which you know we have seen probably used against us 620 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 1: with credit card debt and how quickly that snowball's out 621 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: of control. Like, imagine what that can do when it's 622 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 1: in your favor and it's compounding. So your money is 623 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 1: making money, and the goal could be to have your 624 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 1: money make you so much interest that you don't have 625 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,520 Speaker 1: to work. If you want to work, God's get on 626 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: with your bad self. But like you don't have to 627 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,600 Speaker 1: or you're not stuck in a relationship that's abusive or 628 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,880 Speaker 1: bad because you can't make your own money. Like truly, 629 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: money is freedom. It's freedom to make the choices you 630 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: want to make work because you love it, stay with 631 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 1: somebody you love, and don't have money be a factor 632 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 1: in musation. I love that is there when you kind 633 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,400 Speaker 1: of look at you know someone situation and what what's 634 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 1: like the top three things that you're like, it's you're 635 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,480 Speaker 1: just wasting your money. Is there anything where you can say, 636 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 1: like just get rid of this or get rid of that, 637 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 1: or something where you can stop buying this? Is that 638 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 1: in the equation or is it just solely like putting 639 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 1: buying stocks and things like that. So I don't advocate 640 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: any sort of deprivation. I think a financial diet is 641 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 1: a lot like a regular diet. You know, if you 642 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 1: allow yourself small indulgences, you won't end up thinching later on. 643 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: So I don't know about you, but abla lot a 644 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: lot of crazy craft diets in my life, Like we're 645 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 1: dup cleanses and grapefruit cleanses and whatever. And I was 646 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 1: starving and I ended up in the middle of the the 647 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: night naching on a big, a hunkle chocolate case because 648 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,440 Speaker 1: Mama was so hungry and so deprived. Like the same 649 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,959 Speaker 1: thing goes for a financial diet if you don't allow 650 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 1: yourself a latte. Like I argue against all the financial 651 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: folks who are like, don't biology, I'm like, no, you 652 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: need to buy something that makes you happy. That's why 653 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,480 Speaker 1: we're working and living life anyway. You can't be in 654 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,440 Speaker 1: like doom and gloom, death destruction, you know, clipping cupon 655 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,520 Speaker 1: and have this deprivation mentality. Because when people say I 656 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,520 Speaker 1: cut out the morning, latta, you would be so proud 657 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 1: of me for my New Year's resolution. Come like April 658 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,799 Speaker 1: or May they say, Hey, I've got a Gucci perse 659 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 1: because I was so good. I'm like, God, if you 660 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,800 Speaker 1: just bought that lay every single day and made yourself 661 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 1: happy when me that Gucci, I think absolutely, allow yourself 662 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 1: for the extras, but just have them being no more 663 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 1: than about fifteen percent in normal times of your overall stending. 664 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 1: I love that. And then what do you tell people 665 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,759 Speaker 1: that have financial anxiety? So I have, like I deal 666 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 1: with a lot of financial anxiety and fears about you know, money, 667 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:44,279 Speaker 1: and and it's is there something like to to help 668 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: ease anything like that or is it is that just 669 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 1: is that normal? It's totally normal. I have financial anxiety too. 670 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 1: I mean I know a lot, I don't know everything, 671 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: and it's so understandable. Money is the root of every 672 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,759 Speaker 1: I think conflict if you really get down to it, 673 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:05,120 Speaker 1: it's more the humanity is part that's most anxiety provoking, 674 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 1: the mass part like a fifth grader can do. It's 675 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,359 Speaker 1: the idea of talking to your significant other about money. 676 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,400 Speaker 1: It's the idea of the prenup. It's the idea of 677 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,279 Speaker 1: getting your friend to pay you back. It's all the 678 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 1: emotional stuff that gets in the way. And I would say, 679 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,240 Speaker 1: you know, the biggest enemy is often between our ears, 680 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,320 Speaker 1: and sometimes we suffer more in imagination than in reality. 681 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,759 Speaker 1: So like you don't open up your credit score or 682 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:27,759 Speaker 1: you don't open up your taxes because you're just like 683 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,160 Speaker 1: in denial. It's like you want to lose weight, if 684 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 1: you don't step on the scale or you don't know 685 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,239 Speaker 1: the calories, then it's cool because you're just in this 686 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:37,319 Speaker 1: denial mode so it doesn't actually feel real. But once 687 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,520 Speaker 1: you do it, you know, once you rip off that 688 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,320 Speaker 1: band aid, then I think you see that it's actually 689 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: not as complicated and not as very as you made 690 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: it out to be in your head. I like it. Yeah, 691 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,480 Speaker 1: great question. Well, I just I just feel like, because 692 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 1: that's kind of what to what you said, Nicole, Like 693 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: I in the very beginning, I didn't want to want 694 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,879 Speaker 1: my business manager called. I would decline the call because 695 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,600 Speaker 1: I was so nervous of him saying like okay, because 696 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,799 Speaker 1: I had this awful manager in the beginning of my 697 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:04,839 Speaker 1: career and she sued me and she just I mean, 698 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,400 Speaker 1: she's just she was awful, and so I always it 699 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 1: was just so much like financial stress at that time, 700 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,080 Speaker 1: and so I just never wanted to talk to him. 701 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,520 Speaker 1: I didn't want to see the money. I just I 702 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 1: just was always so fearful because I just knew it 703 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: was like I was, I was afraid it was going 704 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: to go away. And now it's like now I'm so 705 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 1: almost controlling to a fault because I'm so afraid to 706 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,360 Speaker 1: lose it. And now I'm like, okay, like you know, 707 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,360 Speaker 1: we've lost a lot of money this year with COVID, 708 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:29,960 Speaker 1: like everyone else has, and like how are we going 709 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,480 Speaker 1: to keep it? And okay, we gotta cut down here, 710 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,120 Speaker 1: and we gotta cut down there, and we were for 711 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 1: allowing this person and like so it's just like now 712 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to like navigate how to like not 713 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,680 Speaker 1: let it completely control my mood throughout the day. So 714 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,919 Speaker 1: I appreciate you sharing that. Yeah, it's understandable. I think 715 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,600 Speaker 1: you know, we talked about everything before. We talk about money. 716 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 1: I mean, you guys have talked about this on the 717 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 1: show like sexty times, the Keening, watch this, fertility, like 718 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 1: all the things, and then all of a sudden, when 719 00:36:57,680 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 1: we used to see human beings in real life, I 720 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 1: would say to my girlfriends over dinner, like, hey, how 721 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:03,840 Speaker 1: much are you making this year? Or how much is 722 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,239 Speaker 1: in your bank account? And it would be cricket. I'm like, girl, 723 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,080 Speaker 1: you just told me about your landing strip and you're 724 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 1: not telling me about looking your bank account. Like we have. 725 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 1: We have to reprogram ourselves around that, because I was like, 726 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,400 Speaker 1: I'm starting to help you. If we don't talk about it, 727 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 1: we're not going to get ahead. It's like trying to 728 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,840 Speaker 1: price your health without knowing the camp of the area. 729 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,480 Speaker 1: So I always go first. I'm like, I'll show you 730 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 1: mine if you show me yours. See, I don't know 731 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,040 Speaker 1: if I could do that. That gives an anxiety because 732 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: then I would almost be like I'd almost maybe get jealous, 733 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,200 Speaker 1: like you're skinnier than me or so That's that's interesting though, 734 00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:35,240 Speaker 1: because even just the other day I was asking somebody 735 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 1: I don't remember who it was, but you know how 736 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,120 Speaker 1: you phrase those questions. I was like, Hey, if you 737 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,960 Speaker 1: don't mind me asking like how much did you pay 738 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 1: you to have this done? Just because I was curious 739 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,480 Speaker 1: for my own I get reasoning, but but still it's 740 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 1: like it's such a personal thing, like like to Nicole's point, 741 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:51,239 Speaker 1: you talk, you know, and with this person I was with, 742 00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: I've talked about way more deeper things than than you know, 743 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: how much this one job cost that he had done 744 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 1: or something. But it is interesting, That's true. It did. 745 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,759 Speaker 1: I was talking to Sean about something and I said, 746 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,600 Speaker 1: and it took me a minute to ask her, like 747 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 1: how much did you make on that? Because you can 748 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,279 Speaker 1: just see, you know, and it's it's it is that 749 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:15,400 Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable and they're like our best friends. It's interesting. Yeah, 750 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,359 Speaker 1: I don't have a problem telling people. Guys have less 751 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,680 Speaker 1: of a problem, see I I don't. I guess it 752 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,120 Speaker 1: does make me uncomfortable. If someone asked me, like, if 753 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,000 Speaker 1: someone just at me flat out, how much did you 754 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 1: guys pay for this, I'll oh that I don't care. 755 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,319 Speaker 1: But I do parent price. I do. I do give 756 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,759 Speaker 1: a parent price. I'm like, it's like a couple hundred dollars, 757 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,520 Speaker 1: and my friends like it's a thousand dollars and I'm like, oh, 758 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 1: but I don't. But here's my thing. I don't buy 759 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:44,720 Speaker 1: anything I don't like to buy. I'm very, very like um, frugal, 760 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 1: but I like to buy things for other people. So 761 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:52,719 Speaker 1: that's where I spend my money, Like because I have 762 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,799 Speaker 1: to force her to do something for yourself to your 763 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,360 Speaker 1: point in qual like for the latte for Jana's she 764 00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,160 Speaker 1: andrew coffee, but for whatever her quote unquote latte is is. 765 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,799 Speaker 1: I'm like, honey, you work so hard, like do this 766 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:07,040 Speaker 1: it's not a lot, Like it's okay. And she'll come 767 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,719 Speaker 1: to me because we don't we have a budget that 768 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,800 Speaker 1: we have agreed upon if it's anything over this amount, 769 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,400 Speaker 1: we talk about and it'll be something under that amount, 770 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,320 Speaker 1: and she'll come be like and ask me like she's 771 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,160 Speaker 1: a little kid. I'm like, first of all, you're like 772 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,239 Speaker 1: the breadwinner in this family. I was like, you don't 773 00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,080 Speaker 1: really need to, you know, ask me too much, but 774 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,400 Speaker 1: I appreciate the respect and when you do come to 775 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: me and to discuss it, like you don't have to 776 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:33,840 Speaker 1: ask like that, Like I never care, you know, I 777 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:35,880 Speaker 1: don't know what is that? What? Why why do guys 778 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 1: care less to the all, No, I think, you know, 779 00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:45,400 Speaker 1: it's obviously fraught with so many other emotions. And I 780 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,640 Speaker 1: think to your point that you might feel bad if 781 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:51,160 Speaker 1: somebody's like skinny or rich or whatever like that on you, 782 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,920 Speaker 1: I have to say, like, you have to do some 783 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,440 Speaker 1: work and say is my worth tied to money? Is 784 00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,880 Speaker 1: it not? And so you know you can you can 785 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,360 Speaker 1: only control how your reaction is. And so I like 786 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,960 Speaker 1: to talk about it transparently because I think that's the 787 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 1: way we can help each other and negotiate. It's the 788 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,000 Speaker 1: way we can help each other with best practices. And 789 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,319 Speaker 1: I go for so in all my books, I talk 790 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,719 Speaker 1: about what I made at CNN what I meant you 791 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 1: see what I made for my book Advances, because I'm like, 792 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,359 Speaker 1: this is going to read this is like what does 793 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,000 Speaker 1: this film make for this? And so I just put 794 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 1: it in there because I think it's important. And I 795 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:27,319 Speaker 1: had to put my money literally where my mouth was. Well, yeah, 796 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: I respect that. Yeah, I respect that because not a 797 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 1: lot of people do that. Um So to find out more, 798 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:36,120 Speaker 1: go to the Money School challenge dot com and then 799 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:39,400 Speaker 1: also get her book it's out right now. Becoming Superwoman 800 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,760 Speaker 1: a simple twelve step planned to go from burnout to balance. Nicole, 801 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 1: thank you so much, UM for coming on. Really appreciate it. 802 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,880 Speaker 1: And I'm going to check out the money challenge because 803 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,640 Speaker 1: that sounds very interesting. I need to be more knowledgeable 804 00:40:51,640 --> 00:41:00,440 Speaker 1: about my points literally to Alright. Okay, thank you he guy. 805 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:17,200 Speaker 1: All Right, So Nicole was awesome, super excited. I have 806 00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:21,800 Speaker 1: an S on my chest. I'm about to be superwoman. UM. 807 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,360 Speaker 1: Email Stephanie. I suffered a miscarriage in December two thou nineteen. 808 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,360 Speaker 1: My husband and I was we're trying for our second child. 809 00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,239 Speaker 1: I have a beautiful son who was a year and 810 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,840 Speaker 1: a half um, and I honestly didn't think having a 811 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,440 Speaker 1: miscarriage was going to happen to me. I lost the 812 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,279 Speaker 1: baby around ten weeks and I had um never felt 813 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,960 Speaker 1: more sad, her and angry than I did during that time. 814 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,200 Speaker 1: Push forward to today, I am currently twenty two weeks 815 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,400 Speaker 1: pregnant with our second child, a baby girl. She's my 816 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,799 Speaker 1: rainbow baby. I love her so much, but honestly, I'm 817 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 1: still terrified. I feel myself trying to not get too 818 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,000 Speaker 1: excited about her because the chance of losing her would 819 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,640 Speaker 1: completely destroy me. I know Janna and Mike experienced several 820 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:01,759 Speaker 1: miscarriages before baby, and I guess I want to know 821 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 1: how you let yourself enjoy the pregnancy that gave you 822 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,239 Speaker 1: a baby. I want to grow this little girl with 823 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 1: all my love, and I'm afraid, Um, I'm afraid my 824 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,680 Speaker 1: fear of losing her is keeping me from doing that. Um. Stephanie, 825 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:18,000 Speaker 1: I'm sorry you suffered a miscarriage. I you know, we 826 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,520 Speaker 1: we both know how that feels. Um, I'm so excited 827 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,280 Speaker 1: for you that you have your rainbow baby on the way. 828 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 1: I honestly wish I could give positive but that when 829 00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,400 Speaker 1: I was pregnant with Jason, like every single time this 830 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,399 Speaker 1: is a little like Team I, but every single time 831 00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,280 Speaker 1: I wiped, I was like, there's going to be blood. 832 00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,600 Speaker 1: Like I was always fearful of wiping and seeing blood. 833 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:48,839 Speaker 1: And that's just the reality of like having so many miscarriages. 834 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,080 Speaker 1: Of like, it's not it's can of course, it's it's 835 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,240 Speaker 1: like I'm going to lose it. Of course, even even 836 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,480 Speaker 1: when I was in my you know, twenty something weeks, 837 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,240 Speaker 1: I still was just like when I got to thirty, 838 00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,000 Speaker 1: I think it was like No. Seven or twenty eight 839 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:05,600 Speaker 1: where they say that the baby has a chance of 840 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:11,360 Speaker 1: living and that's when I stopped being so crazy. Um, 841 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,600 Speaker 1: but no, I mean every single time I wiped, I 842 00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,399 Speaker 1: looked to see if there was blood. And I don't 843 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,400 Speaker 1: know if that's like I don't want to project that 844 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,839 Speaker 1: on Stephanie, Like I want to say, don't worry about it, 845 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 1: like it's gonna be great, but like I can't really 846 00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,640 Speaker 1: say that because that wasn't that wasn't reality for us. 847 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:34,000 Speaker 1: And I remember with Chase, how often you would you know, 848 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 1: kind of think out loud to me, uh and say, okay, 849 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,400 Speaker 1: it's you know, so and so weeks they say they 850 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 1: can still survive like outside the womb, and it was 851 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:49,360 Speaker 1: like a countdown in your head for every like milestone. Um, 852 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,000 Speaker 1: you know. So I do remember that, and it's it's 853 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,320 Speaker 1: hard not to it's it's easier for it's not easier. 854 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,879 Speaker 1: It's simpler for men because it's not our body, right, 855 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,000 Speaker 1: so it's not unconscious thing every single day, every month, 856 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:04,320 Speaker 1: moment like y'all. So with that, I empathize for women, 857 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,960 Speaker 1: but you know it is it still involves both of 858 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,000 Speaker 1: you and for the husband, it's just our job too, 859 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 1: not like I try to do a good job with Jace. 860 00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,200 Speaker 1: From what I remember of not diminishing you saying that, 861 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:20,120 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I wasn't trying to 862 00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,080 Speaker 1: take that away from you and just say, baby, you 863 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:23,880 Speaker 1: can't do anything about that, don't worry about it. Like 864 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,280 Speaker 1: just you know, I don't want to minimize your feeling 865 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,880 Speaker 1: around it at all. I just try to be understanding 866 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,640 Speaker 1: and supportive of it the best that I could be. 867 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,799 Speaker 1: And so I think it's to your point. I mean, 868 00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,680 Speaker 1: that's natural for anyone, for any you know, a couple, 869 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,359 Speaker 1: ship or um or woman that's kind of gone through 870 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,839 Speaker 1: that that's going to be normal. Yeah, And I mean 871 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,799 Speaker 1: I would just say this is the worst advice, but 872 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 1: like you're so close to that one moment where they 873 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:56,480 Speaker 1: can be possibly living out of the womb, so um, 874 00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 1: just know that like a twenty two weeks, the chances 875 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:04,560 Speaker 1: are so so, so so small. But again, I I, 876 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,960 Speaker 1: I can't really be like, just be positive and be 877 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,359 Speaker 1: happy because you're a mom and we are going to 878 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,239 Speaker 1: worry for the rest of our lives. That's just the 879 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:14,200 Speaker 1: reality for sure. All Right, don't want to read this 880 00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:17,480 Speaker 1: one from Shannon because I want to hear your response 881 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,560 Speaker 1: is awesome, baby boy. On the way, I'm expecting. I'm 882 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:28,080 Speaker 1: expecting our first child. Yeah, I'm expecting our first child. 883 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,879 Speaker 1: I knew deep down from the second we found out 884 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,600 Speaker 1: that we were pregnant he was a boy. And sure 885 00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,919 Speaker 1: enough our ultrasound confirmed it. I always and sure enough 886 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,880 Speaker 1: our ultrasound confirmed it. I always saw myself having a 887 00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,720 Speaker 1: little girl mini me with lots of feute outfits, Bose, 888 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,760 Speaker 1: playing with barbies, etcetera. I'm curious, now that you have Jace, 889 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,200 Speaker 1: what is the mother's son bond like and what it's 890 00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:49,960 Speaker 1: and what is it like to be a boy mom. 891 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:55,200 Speaker 1: It's the best, It's the best. I truly did not 892 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,080 Speaker 1: want a boy. I mean I wanted whatever we could have, 893 00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,640 Speaker 1: you know, obviously because of the miscarriage is and stuff like. 894 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:04,960 Speaker 1: I was so grateful, But I imagine two girls and 895 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:09,680 Speaker 1: then yeah, I just I I never saw myself as 896 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,160 Speaker 1: a boy mom. I didn't know. I mean, we had 897 00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:15,600 Speaker 1: Jolie first, so um, it was just one of those 898 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 1: things where I didn't really know kind of what to expect. Um. 899 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,840 Speaker 1: It's I remember that when we had Jason. It was 900 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:27,680 Speaker 1: weird because it was just you know, second time around. 901 00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:29,760 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, Like I felt different 902 00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:31,840 Speaker 1: when I had him the luve, it just was a 903 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,320 Speaker 1: different kind of love. And so then I started comparing 904 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:35,919 Speaker 1: it and like, well, do what did I did I love? 905 00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:37,880 Speaker 1: Do I love him as much as I love Jolie 906 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,080 Speaker 1: When I had Jolie, And it was just it kind 907 00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,279 Speaker 1: of like played with me a little bit there emotionally. 908 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,120 Speaker 1: But the love that I have for Ja'son is so 909 00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:47,920 Speaker 1: different than the love that I have for Jolie. And 910 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,399 Speaker 1: it's hard to explain, but just he's he's just like 911 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,759 Speaker 1: he's my man, Like he's my little boy. Like I 912 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:58,960 Speaker 1: just like I'm so obsessed with him, and I just 913 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,400 Speaker 1: can't wait to teach him how to treat a lady 914 00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:05,680 Speaker 1: and and and be respectful and and you know, I 915 00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:10,440 Speaker 1: can't wait to teach him how to you know, skate 916 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,480 Speaker 1: and play hockey or whatever he wants to do. Like 917 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,680 Speaker 1: I just I can't wait to like throw a ball 918 00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:17,480 Speaker 1: with him. And he's just he's so much fun and 919 00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:22,560 Speaker 1: that bond, Like his cuddles are just something beyond my 920 00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,239 Speaker 1: daughter's cuddles. Like you know, when Jolie cuddles with me, 921 00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,160 Speaker 1: it's it's sweet, but like Ja'son really cuddles with me, 922 00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:32,600 Speaker 1: like he's just like he melts in my arms. And 923 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,680 Speaker 1: it's probably just because the age. But Jolie never did that, 924 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:40,720 Speaker 1: like she'll cuddle, but she Julie never sat there like Jason, truly, 925 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,080 Speaker 1: even when she was his age. She would just kind 926 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,000 Speaker 1: of get up and keep moving. Jason will sit there 927 00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:50,520 Speaker 1: like lay on. I just I mean, I dore both 928 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,640 Speaker 1: my kids. But the bond with this son, all my 929 00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:55,959 Speaker 1: friends said that, every single one of my girlfriends said 930 00:47:56,120 --> 00:48:00,200 Speaker 1: the mother son bond is something like unlike anything else, 931 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:04,359 Speaker 1: and it's so true. I love it. All right, let's 932 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:08,120 Speaker 1: do this last one right here from Lisa c section. 933 00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:11,600 Speaker 1: I've been dealing with the emotional effects and I've been 934 00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:13,840 Speaker 1: dealing with the emotional after effects of a C section 935 00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,680 Speaker 1: for a while. Now my daughter is five months old. 936 00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,200 Speaker 1: I keep thinking what if or maybe I could have 937 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,879 Speaker 1: done something different to have a vaginal birth. I also 938 00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,240 Speaker 1: feel like the physical part of it is tough too. 939 00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,480 Speaker 1: I was always into fitness, but now I feel like 940 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,319 Speaker 1: I have extra weight or the bubble above this car 941 00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,240 Speaker 1: to get rid of. I know Jason was a C section. 942 00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,080 Speaker 1: Did you feel this way at all? How did you 943 00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:35,799 Speaker 1: get through it? And how do you lose the extra 944 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:39,240 Speaker 1: bubble above this car bubble and going nowhere. Um showed 945 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:40,640 Speaker 1: Mike it the other day when I was wearing a 946 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:44,600 Speaker 1: bathing suit. I said, oh my god. I was like, Babe, 947 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,319 Speaker 1: do you see this? And I was like, look at 948 00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,240 Speaker 1: this really big dip right here and then the bubble 949 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: above it. And he was like okay, and I was like, really, 950 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,120 Speaker 1: I can't even tell. But I was like, I'm so 951 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:57,319 Speaker 1: self conscious of it, but at the same time, I'm 952 00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,839 Speaker 1: not because I'm like, it's my mom's car, like it's 953 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:05,240 Speaker 1: it's what makes me mom. I embrace the saggyear belly, 954 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,840 Speaker 1: and you know, my my trainer always says stop drinking 955 00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:12,279 Speaker 1: wine and your drink work stuff, and I say, I'm 956 00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,279 Speaker 1: good with the belly. Then I'm great. I don't care, 957 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,600 Speaker 1: Like I've always kind of had a little bellies since 958 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,120 Speaker 1: high school, like this just the bottom part. But I'm 959 00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,480 Speaker 1: just saying, like it's I'm just I'm not. I've never 960 00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,480 Speaker 1: had a natural flat stomach. Ever when I'm laying down, 961 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:29,680 Speaker 1: I do, but like, never naturally flat. And now that 962 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:31,759 Speaker 1: I'm my mom, it's obviously stretched a little bit. And 963 00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:35,520 Speaker 1: I embrace highwaisted stuff and I'm fine with it. I 964 00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:40,640 Speaker 1: don't care enough to quit drinking and stop eating pizza 965 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 1: and cookies like I don't, I don't care enough. And honestly, 966 00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,080 Speaker 1: it's like I'm embracing the mom bod. So I just say, 967 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:53,320 Speaker 1: Lisa embraced the mom bod and then vaginal verse C section. 968 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,799 Speaker 1: I mean, sure what I've loved to have tried, yes, 969 00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:59,439 Speaker 1: but we're not peeing ourselves when we jump up and down. 970 00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,680 Speaker 1: So like, well, you did try, but Jolie had to 971 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,520 Speaker 1: be taken out and so that kind of set the 972 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,200 Speaker 1: stage for the next one. Yeah, and for the next one, 973 00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:06,719 Speaker 1: I was like, well, maybe I'll try v back and 974 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:09,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, I've already got the scar let's just go 975 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,320 Speaker 1: for it. Um but no, I mean I think it 976 00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,880 Speaker 1: God's that was God's plan, God's way, Baby's way, and 977 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:22,279 Speaker 1: you can't, um second second guess that. But anyhow, I 978 00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,760 Speaker 1: love you guys, d MS on the wind Down podcast. 979 00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,920 Speaker 1: If you have any questions, and um, don't forget to 980 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:29,919 Speaker 1: go to Janna and Mike dot com to pre order 981 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:33,239 Speaker 1: The Good Fight. Tell your friends, tell your cousins, tell 982 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:37,439 Speaker 1: your parents, and tell everybody. See you all next week.