1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720
Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

2
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:14,040
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

3
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 1: Today's tip is about how to build and maintain close

4
00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:22,720
Speaker 1: ties with people you mostly see virtually. In the past

5
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,239
Speaker 1: few weeks, plenty of people have been trying remote work

6
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:29,520
Speaker 1: for the first time. It's necessary under the circumstances, but

7
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 1: I know that for many people there's an assumption that

8
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:36,080
Speaker 1: it's a poor substitute for an in person connection. Whole

9
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,640
Speaker 1: industries of business travel have been built around the idea

10
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,240
Speaker 1: that in order for people to work well and creatively together,

11
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,480
Speaker 1: they need to spend a lot of time face to face.

12
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,200
Speaker 1: As someone who's been working from home since two thousand two,

13
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:53,280
Speaker 1: I think this is kind of ridiculous. As one example,

14
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,520
Speaker 1: I co host my other podcast, Best of Both Worlds,

15
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,639
Speaker 1: with Sarah hart Unger, who's a practicing physician who lives

16
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,880
Speaker 1: in Floor It to I live in Pennsylvania. She and

17
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,240
Speaker 1: I have seen each other in person just half a

18
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,520
Speaker 1: dozen times over the last five years, but we have

19
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,640
Speaker 1: managed to start and run an enterprise together and have

20
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,640
Speaker 1: quite a bit of fun doing it. These things don't

21
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,120
Speaker 1: need to be either or I'm certainly not saying that

22
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,200
Speaker 1: you never need to see people in person, but we

23
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:24,000
Speaker 1: won't all be engaged in social distancing forever. When we

24
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,360
Speaker 1: are on the other side of this, we can all

25
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,920
Speaker 1: recalibrate what should happen in person and what really doesn't

26
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:34,000
Speaker 1: need to, thus saving time and wear and tear on

27
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 1: our planet. So how do you maintain close virtual relationships?

28
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,600
Speaker 1: I found that video conferences are a key part of it.

29
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,360
Speaker 1: Sarah and I use Squadcast to record our podcasts, which

30
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,280
Speaker 1: allows us to see each other and our guests even

31
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,520
Speaker 1: though we're only recording audio. I have a Zoom Pro

32
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,720
Speaker 1: account to which I use all the time. FaceTime on

33
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,120
Speaker 1: your phone is good for one on one type stuff.

34
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,720
Speaker 1: Before there were good video conferencing options. It's true that

35
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,559
Speaker 1: remote work did feel more distant, but now this isn't

36
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,680
Speaker 1: true at all. And unless we're talking about someone you're

37
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,040
Speaker 1: planning on touching a lot. The human brain has no

38
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,200
Speaker 1: way of knowing that interacting with someone via video is

39
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,360
Speaker 1: different than interacting in person, because how would it know this.

40
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,160
Speaker 1: It's not like our caveman ancestors would have had a

41
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,920
Speaker 1: way to see people without them being right there. This

42
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,440
Speaker 1: is why people who are on television a lot report

43
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,160
Speaker 1: that when people see them on the street or in

44
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,320
Speaker 1: a restaurant, they act like they know them, as if

45
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:35,120
Speaker 1: the relationship is mutual rather than one way. It's kind

46
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,440
Speaker 1: of funny, but you can use that knowledge to your

47
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:42,880
Speaker 1: advantage whenever you possibly can do video calls. Yes, this

48
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,800
Speaker 1: means you need to build in time to brush your

49
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,280
Speaker 1: hair or shave, but so it goes as a side note,

50
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,799
Speaker 1: video calls massively cut down on the multitasking that happens

51
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:57,240
Speaker 1: during audio only calls. They're much more efficient. Second, build

52
00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,639
Speaker 1: in socializing time into your video calls. Actually think it's

53
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,040
Speaker 1: wise to build in social time to meetings in general,

54
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,680
Speaker 1: but this is doubly important when you're not going to

55
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,600
Speaker 1: be able to grab a cup of coffee or go

56
00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:11,480
Speaker 1: to lunch afterwards. I run one monthly video meeting where

57
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 1: we usually start with an icebreaker question. If the agenda

58
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,800
Speaker 1: is planned well, you can still get through everything, and

59
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,760
Speaker 1: given that any meeting is as much about the relationship

60
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:24,519
Speaker 1: as the stated agenda, this is a good thing. Third,

61
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:29,080
Speaker 1: be more systematic about reaching out. The human brain doesn't

62
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,160
Speaker 1: naturally think of people that we don't see frequently. Again,

63
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,120
Speaker 1: that's just the way we're built if someone disappeared from

64
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,160
Speaker 1: our caveman tribe for six months, well, the odds weren't

65
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,320
Speaker 1: good that person was coming back. So in our modern world,

66
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,960
Speaker 1: you need a mechanism for thinking about the people you'd

67
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,240
Speaker 1: like to maintain relationships with, even if you're not physically

68
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,360
Speaker 1: seeing them all that often. Some people are kind of

69
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,720
Speaker 1: funny about this. I get regular emails from people at

70
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,240
Speaker 1: a certain time every three months, and I know that

71
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,240
Speaker 1: they've probably made it a goal to reach out to

72
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:04,120
Speaker 1: the people in their networks every quarter. Yes, kind of humorous,

73
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 1: but it's also effective. I remember these people. Frequency of

74
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,280
Speaker 1: contact makes you feel closer than you might actually be,

75
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,080
Speaker 1: So build in time to go through lists of your

76
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:19,400
Speaker 1: social media connections, old colleagues, people on your Christmas card lists, whatever.

77
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,839
Speaker 1: If you can come up with a decent reason to

78
00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:25,520
Speaker 1: send a note, then do so. And of course, take

79
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:30,280
Speaker 1: advantage of random opportunities to subscribe to lots of industry newsletters,

80
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:35,080
Speaker 1: and anytime you see someone mentioned that you know, reach out. Well,

81
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,240
Speaker 1: none of this means that we never need to see

82
00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:40,120
Speaker 1: people in person. I found that these in person meetings

83
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:44,120
Speaker 1: can be relatively infrequent and you can still feel quite close.

84
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,840
Speaker 1: I have a small Mastermind group that have run for

85
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,680
Speaker 1: a while, and I realized that I can count on

86
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,360
Speaker 1: one hand the number of times I've seen its members

87
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,239
Speaker 1: in person in the past five years. I would consider

88
00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,119
Speaker 1: all of them my good friends and colleagues. I believe

89
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,640
Speaker 1: they'd say the same about me. All this self isolation

90
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,640
Speaker 1: doesn't actually have to be isolating if you're smart about it.

91
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,520
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear your tips for staying in touch virtually.

92
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,360
Speaker 1: You can keep in touch with me virtually by emailing

93
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,360
Speaker 1: me at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com.

94
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,040
Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

95
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:29,760
Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

96
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,120
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

97
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,800
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

98
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:40,200
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod

99
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:45,240
Speaker 1: that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

100
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,960
Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

101
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,600
Speaker 1: podcast at iHeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast is

102
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,400
Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I

103
00:05:55,400 --> 00:06:03,480
Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

104
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,760
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I

105
00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:10,680
Speaker 1: Heart Radio, visit the I heart radio, app, Apple podcasts,

106
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:15,200
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H