1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode two hundred and five, 11 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: which is airing in early July of twenty twenty one. 12 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,919 Speaker 1: I'll be interviewing Kathleen Paley, who is an attorney who 13 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: is also very involved in her community, and she is 14 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,319 Speaker 1: going to talk about how she made time for her 15 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 1: various volunteer commitments that are keeping her busy and also 16 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: adding a lot of fulfillment to her life. So very 17 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 1: excited to hear from her. So, Sarah, let's open up 18 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: with a discussion of community involvement. What's your family doing 19 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 1: right now? No, I would not say we're doing all 20 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: that much right now. And I hope that people will 21 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: not judge too harshly. I think right now my immediate family, 22 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: we tend to give more with donations than we give 23 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: with our time, because my husband and I are in 24 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: a stage of life where time does feel I mean, 25 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to say scarce to you, because you 26 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: are the time expert and there is always more time 27 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: than you think. But I guess my priorities right now 28 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: are in my job and my kids and to some extent, 29 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: you know, this creative work that I get to do, 30 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: and so I don't feel like I put a lot 31 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: of time. But we do try to make donations thoughtfully, 32 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: and we have a certain amount each month that we 33 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: put in a category in our budget that's just called giving, 34 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: so that when things come up, we give, or if 35 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: a kind of building up towards the end of the year, 36 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: we can give a bigger amount. My sister in law 37 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: does a wonderful job actually like doing stuff like she 38 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: is constantly she'll go to whole Foods in other grocery stores, 39 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: collect food waste and then drop them off at various 40 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: food banks in Miami where there is need and that 41 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: food would otherwise have been dumped. But it's like perfectly good, 42 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: like not expired anything like that. So that kind of 43 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: thing is really amazing. And she usually does it with 44 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: my niece and nephew so they get to experience it. 45 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: So she's an incredibly busy person. She was also a 46 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: guest on a prior early episode of this podcast, so 47 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 1: that proves it is possible. So I guess in my case, 48 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: to some extent, it's a choice of where I am 49 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: right now. But I think as my kids exit the 50 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: baby stage, I'm hoping to be able to do more. 51 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: I guess I also feel like there's some extent to 52 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: which I can give within the confines of my job. Meaning, yes, 53 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,639 Speaker 1: it is my job to mentor, and it is my 54 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: job to make sure to advocate for patients least able 55 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,239 Speaker 1: to advocate for them, but to consciously lean into those 56 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,679 Speaker 1: things and maybe do more than might be expected. It's 57 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: something I really do pay attention to and try to do. 58 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: I really think about the patients who I think might 59 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: be overlooked in the system, who might struggle to get 60 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: appointments or get studies done, and they're the ones that 61 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: I give the most attention to. They are not usually 62 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,079 Speaker 1: the squeaky wheels and they are the most in needs. 63 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: So I mean that doesn't really count because it is 64 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: part of my job, but it is something I try 65 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: to pay a lot of attention to. Well. I mean, 66 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: there's probably plenty of people who don't do stuff like that, 67 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 1: so I think that that's definitely using the skills you 68 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: have to give back, which probably has some added bonus 69 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: versus skills we may not have that we're trying to 70 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: give back. There have been some you know, you can 71 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: volunteer badly sometimes. I think I once was working on 72 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: a habitat for Humanity House and may have caused more 73 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: damage than being a non skilled construction worker. So good 74 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: when you can use your skills to make a difference 75 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: in the world. I think one of the best ways 76 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: for really people in the busy years, and you know, 77 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: when you have young kids, when you're building your career 78 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: to be involved in your community is to choose something 79 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: that you find sort of enjoyable and taps interests of 80 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 1: yours that are maybe not satisfied by your day job. 81 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 1: So if you are an accountant by day but absolutely 82 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 1: love gardening, maybe you could get involved in community gardening 83 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: programs or things like that. Or you're a lawyer by day, 84 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: but doing every other weekend shift at a food bank 85 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: because you're really into issues of you know, food and 86 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 1: food supply and food scarcity and things like that. I mean, 87 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: these can make life feel really full and rich and 88 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: enjoyable because you are tapping into these interests that otherwise 89 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't be in your day job. But then hey, you're 90 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: helping the world too, And there's absolutely nothing wrong with 91 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 1: giving money as well. I mean, and certainly people are 92 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,039 Speaker 1: in the stage and I think probably a lot of 93 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: our listeners are where maybe they do have more money 94 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: than time. Money can do a lot of good and 95 00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: so looking into how you can use that could go 96 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: a long way. But many people do both. So we're 97 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: going to hear about how Kathleen in fact does do both, 98 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 1: and so I'm looking forward to that interview. Well, Sarah 99 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: and I are very excited to welcome Kathleen Paley to 100 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: the program. So, Kathleen, can you introduce yourself to our listeners? Hi? Yes, 101 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: Like Laura said, my name is Kathleen Paley. I am 102 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: a longtime Laura Vanderkamp fan. I've been reading your blog 103 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: since I think twenty eleven, when I had a newborn 104 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: and was trying to figure out how to navigate this 105 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: world of working motherhood, you know, with the most sort 106 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: of energy and optimism that I could. So I am 107 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: a senior lawyer it's called special counsel at a big 108 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: Washington law firm, where I do litigation primarily in the 109 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: product liability and mass short space. So a lot of 110 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: my work is representing pharmaceutical manufacturers, random pharmaceutical manufacturers in 111 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:58,479 Speaker 1: product liability cases. It's really interesting work because I do 112 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 1: a lot of work with medical and scientific experts, and 113 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: I learn a huge amount about, you know, the science 114 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,359 Speaker 1: and the pharmacology behind drugs, about epidemiology, and so for 115 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,279 Speaker 1: someone who didn't know she had a science nerd within her, 116 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,719 Speaker 1: it's been really cool to be able to dig into 117 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: this stuff. I've been at my firm my entire career, 118 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: it's almost fourteen years. But in addition to that, I 119 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 1: have a lovely husband and two wonderful, wonderful boys in 120 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: elementary school. And also have figured out, with you know, 121 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: help from Laura and others, and Sarah and others, have 122 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,559 Speaker 1: figured out how to build a lot more into life 123 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: in addition to the family and the career. It's been 124 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: a lot of fun. That's awesome. And this was sort 125 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: of a gradual evolution though. I mean, you mentioned in 126 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 1: your email to us that at one point you felt 127 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,559 Speaker 1: like you were facing a lot of exhaustion with your 128 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: you know, law practice with young kids. Talk about that, 129 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,280 Speaker 1: and you know, that's kind of the point where a 130 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: lot of people are like, oh, I had to scale 131 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,280 Speaker 1: down dial you know, dial back whatever it is, and 132 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 1: you chose not to so talk about what happened. Yeah. Yeah, 133 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: I was at a point where I was sort of 134 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: at a senior associate level. For anyone who knows law 135 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: firm practice, that's a very stressful point in your career. 136 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: And I had little kids, I was doing a lot 137 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: of traveling, and I just felt like I didn't have 138 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: that much more to give and I felt like I 139 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 1: enjoyed my career and I didn't want to scale back, 140 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: so I thought, I need to figure out ways to 141 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: make this more workable. Now. Part of that's having very 142 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: young kids. Things do I mean, to all the moms 143 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: out there, things do get easier as they get older. 144 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: There's some inherent like, you know, switching your game to 145 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: slightly more easy mode as they get older. But yeah, 146 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: I was I was pretty tired and thinking, I know 147 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 1: that there must be ways where I can look at 148 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: sort of the puzzle pieces of life a little bit 149 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: better and figure out how I can keep things going 150 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,119 Speaker 1: with being a very you know, engaged mom, a wife 151 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: with a wonderful marriage, and also not have to scale 152 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: back at work because I didn't want the sort of 153 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: long term implications that can come with the scaling back. 154 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: So I thought, let's figure out what the experts say, 155 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: how can I fit this thing together better. I also 156 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: felt like at that time I didn't have a lot 157 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: of time for the things that you know, I enjoyed. 158 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:34,079 Speaker 1: I think it's a really common thing in motherhood, professional motherhood, 159 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: and especially early professional motherhood that you feel like every 160 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: bit of you as an individual kind of has to 161 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 1: be put on the back burner for a while because, 162 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,719 Speaker 1: you know, work and family is taking up everything. And 163 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,840 Speaker 1: I thought, that's not sustainable in a long term. I've 164 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: got to figure out a better way. So what I 165 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:56,079 Speaker 1: realized in you know, in reading your work, Laura and 166 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 1: some other work on you know, happiness and time management 167 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 1: and things, was that I didn't have to scale back. 168 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: I just needed to do a really sort of targeted 169 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 1: audit of how am I spending my time? You know, 170 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,199 Speaker 1: what is the low value, what is the high value? 171 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 1: Where can I you know, where can I delegate? Where 172 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: can I change my standards? Where can I accept help? 173 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: And sort of going through that auditing process, I was 174 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,680 Speaker 1: able to squeeze in time, you know, sort of more 175 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: time to pursue those personal interests while also making sure 176 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,839 Speaker 1: that I'm contributing at work and at home. And it's 177 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Yeah, so what did you figure 178 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: out you could spend less time on? First, because then 179 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:39,080 Speaker 1: we want to talk about all the wonderful things that 180 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: you're spending more time on. Yes, yes, okay, so I 181 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: realized that Saturday mornings this is very like micro level, 182 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 1: but you know, we'll get into the nitty gritty logistics. 183 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 1: Saturday mornings I was often using about four hours of 184 00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: errands and kind of puttering around time as kind of 185 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: this like fake alone time, like I'm just I've got 186 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,599 Speaker 1: to get out and like be an adult by myself. 187 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:13,760 Speaker 1: So somehow the Wegman's trip would take forever, and somehow 188 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: target runs had to happen every week, and before I 189 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: knew it was like one pm on Saturday kind of 190 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 1: the prime start of the week and was done. And 191 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 1: what had I what had I accomplished? I gone to 192 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: Wegmans and Target. I'd had you know, had some caffeine 193 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:30,199 Speaker 1: alone and not had someone pulling on my skirt the 194 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,199 Speaker 1: whole time. But I thought, you know, let's take that 195 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 1: and make it into like you've talked about cultivating high 196 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: quality leasure time. And so I said, yeah, again, this 197 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: is very micro. I don't I have to go to 198 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: Target every week. I can get certain big bulk things delivered, 199 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: like toilet paper, beverages. I can go to Wegmans early 200 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: when my whole run can be made in thirty minutes 201 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 1: rather than an hour and a half during which I 202 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 1: want to like scream expletives of the people who are 203 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,400 Speaker 1: leaving the carts in the middle of the eye because 204 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: it's just so crowded later in the day and it 205 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: sounds so tiny. But you know, those those weekend errands 206 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: was able. I was able to shrink them from probably 207 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: like you know, four or five hours to basically an hour. 208 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: And when you gain back what's effectively, you know, half 209 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: of a day, and then you can pack that with 210 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: the higher quality stuff, it dramatically changes your enjoyment of time, 211 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,679 Speaker 1: you know, your memory, your you know your experiences, and 212 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: frankly time with family. So now instead of running the errands, 213 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: you know, we've basically developed kind of a template for 214 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: weekend family outings and we're going to hear more about that. 215 00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 1: So less time at target, more timeline family always. Right 216 00:11:45,679 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: after this ad break, so I am back with Kathleen Paley, 217 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 1: who is a lawyer, a mom of two, and has 218 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: all sorts of other interests that she's going to tell 219 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: us about. So Kathleen have been saying that she switched 220 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,199 Speaker 1: her Saturday mornings from Aaron running, which was an attempt 221 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: to get some me time but seem productive to do 222 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: actual things. So what does that weekend template look like now? 223 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: So sometimes that we can template will involve me getting 224 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: up insanely early to go out alone on like a 225 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: photo shoot. I really enjoy photography. I'm a total amateur, 226 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: but have invested in a few cameras and a few lenses, 227 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: and I live in the DC area, so there is 228 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: some fantastic photography to be had. If you want sunrise 229 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: on the National Mall, it is glorious and it's filled 230 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 1: with other people out there who are also trying to 231 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: you know, to capture the shot, chasing just the right shot. 232 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 1: So sometimes I will get up on my own and 233 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: do that catches you know, sunrise somewhere in DC. But 234 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: the family kind of ten play is we often now 235 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: we have this rhythm which makes it easy to to 236 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: basically have some high quality family time. We generally do 237 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 1: an activity in DC on Saturday Saturday morning. We might 238 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: take a long walk that takes advantage of something seasonal, 239 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 1: like you know, the cherry blossoms are the classic thing, 240 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,719 Speaker 1: or going to the National Arboretum or the you know, 241 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 1: the zoo. There are also lots of beautiful gardens around here, 242 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: and I've been surprised at the willingness of elementary school 243 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: boys to go to like beautifully cultivated gardens. They're not 244 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: always happy, but give them enough time and they actually 245 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 1: do enough they learn to enjoy it. So we'll do 246 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: some kind of like an anchor physical activity in d 247 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: C that involves a lot of walking, a lot of 248 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 1: being outside, and then we'll have lunch that's often you know, 249 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,319 Speaker 1: right now outside at a nice restaurant. Or we've done 250 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: things where I just throw a couple reusable bowls in 251 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,000 Speaker 1: my purse and we get Chinese takeout and have Chinese 252 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 1: take out, like in Georgetown, you're the water or on 253 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 1: the mall or something. And so it's a way that 254 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: it's easy to figure out what you're going to do 255 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: because it's kind of a template. It's physical activity and lunch, 256 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: but there's enough novelty in it that it keeps it 257 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: fresh and exciting. Off Now, also, the museums are starting 258 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: to reopen in DC, so you can get timed, ticketed entries. 259 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 1: So we've been going back to the museums and you know, 260 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: you do a museum for a couple hours, then you 261 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 1: do a fantastic lunch and a long walk and rather 262 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: than by one o'clock on Saturday saying okay, purchase toilet 263 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 1: paper and been alone for a little while, now it's 264 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:46,200 Speaker 1: I've seen some great artwork and I've had this fantastic meal, 265 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 1: and my kids are learning to like, you know, Spanish 266 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: top us and how fun is this? So it's just 267 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 1: it creates a huge mindset shift and the shift in 268 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 1: your enjoyment of time definitely. And Kathleen has also made 269 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: space for all kinds of community pursuits that we mentioned 270 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: in the introduction that she had really made a focus 271 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: on giving back to her community. So we want to 272 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: congratulate you on your new found position of power as 273 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: the chairperson of the Fairfax City Economic Development Authority to 274 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: talk about this. You decided you wanted to be doing 275 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: more in your community and how did you go about 276 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: making that happen. Yeah. I have long had an interest 277 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: in sort of municipal level level like city development, city design, 278 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: city businesses, things like that, and I thought, I'm just 279 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: going to start reaching out to the folks in the 280 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: city who might have some you know, some role in this. 281 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: I'm going to apply to beyond just a little committee 282 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: in town. There was like a community appearance committee that 283 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 1: does the you know, adopt a spot, trash pickups and 284 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 1: things like that. I started to reach out to these 285 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: folks and started to you know, connect with them through 286 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 1: various like social media channels, and what ended up developing 287 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: through I won't get into all the details, was the 288 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: Fairfax City Economic Development Office, which is a paid staff. 289 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: The director of it reached out to me and he said, 290 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 1: you know, we have we have a volunteer commission, you know, 291 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: made up of city residents and it's called the Economic 292 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: Development Authority, and we think that you know, it looks 293 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: like this is right up your alley in terms of 294 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: the things that you're interested in. Would you like to 295 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: be involved? And I said, oh yeah, I would like to, 296 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 1: thinking like you know this, what he's saying is, you know, 297 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: be one of one hundred people who you know does 298 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: something every once in a while. And he said, okay, 299 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: so we want you to be a commissioner. I thought, 300 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 1: what what in the world, what are you talking about? 301 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 1: And I knew that this would be potentially, potentially a 302 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 1: real time investment. But this is an organization that does 303 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:03,520 Speaker 1: a lot of work supporting community businesses and encouraging businesses 304 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 1: to come to the city. So it's you want to 305 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 1: encourage new business to come to the city, and you 306 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: want to foster the businesses that already exist in the 307 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 1: city as part of developing like a really robust economy 308 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: within your city. So I have now for about two 309 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: years been a commissioner on the Economic Development Authority, and 310 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 1: as of today when we're filming this, I am now 311 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 1: officially the chairperson of the Economic Development Authority. Some big 312 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: projects we have going on right now are we're near 313 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,919 Speaker 1: George Mason University, which is a school of about I 314 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 1: think about forty thousand, and we have an incubator, a 315 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: small business incubator that we run with them, and we're 316 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 1: working on sort of version two point zero, the next 317 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 1: steps for the incubator. We worked to distribute federal funding 318 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 1: for economic Recovery and COVID, so that was reviewing, you know, 319 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 1: hundreds of applications and choosing businesses to receive grants. We 320 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: run a fair vacca restaurant week every year, which is 321 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: a whole lot of fun, and do other sorts of 322 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: events within the community that help connect people in the 323 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: community to businesses and the businesses to the people. We 324 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: also were working on redeveloping a piece of city property 325 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:20,159 Speaker 1: that's right next to our prime like little Downtown Square, 326 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,119 Speaker 1: and it is going to be a kind of a 327 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 1: high end New American restaurant and that should be opening 328 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:29,120 Speaker 1: in the fall. So it's just wonderful to see this 329 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: place that you live in become more robust and exciting 330 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: and just to know that when you walk through your 331 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: downtown it's becoming a more interesting place. So, yeah, the 332 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: Economic Development Authority work takes a fair amount of time, 333 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 1: and but what I've learned is that I can I 334 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,360 Speaker 1: can work in a zoom meeting for them during kind 335 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,240 Speaker 1: of lunchtime and a work day, or I can say, 336 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 1: you know what, we need to have this meeting at 337 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,520 Speaker 1: eight am before all my real paid job meeting start. 338 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 1: But it's this, It's just a fantastic opportunity to feel 339 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: really involved in community and to really get to know 340 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 1: the folks who love their community and become one of them. 341 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: So if somebody was, you know, saying, well, I also 342 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 1: have a full time job, I have a family. I 343 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,200 Speaker 1: would like to be involved in a solid, real position 344 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:26,680 Speaker 1: of authority in the community. Here, any tips for how 345 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: to make sure that you aren't biting off more than 346 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: you can chew, that this is the right thing for 347 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 1: you to be doing. I mean, what, what's sort of 348 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 1: the pro mindset process here? Yeah? I think scale up gradually. 349 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: You know, I started off with the little committee and 350 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: then became a commissioner in the big one, and now 351 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: I'm the chair. So you know, maybe I'm in the 352 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 1: lobster in the pot that's boiling now, but I don't 353 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,639 Speaker 1: think that's it. I think it's just, you know, scale 354 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,359 Speaker 1: up gradually. Don't be afraid to take that first bite 355 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 1: and just see how it goes. And then also, you know, 356 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,440 Speaker 1: as you're scaling up your or community work or whatever 357 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,880 Speaker 1: else it is you want to do, you become more 358 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: choosy and more creative about how you use your time. Otherwise, 359 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: like I get micro level thing. But my husband and 360 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: I used to watch like one hour of television together 361 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 1: each night. Okay, not binge watching just one hour, yet 362 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: somehow I got nothing else done in the evening. We said, 363 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,880 Speaker 1: let's cut that down to like two week nights a week. 364 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: We watch one hour television. Now suddenly three week nights 365 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: a week. I can find time to do other things. Yeah. Sometimes, 366 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 1: does it have to be regular work, Yes, it does. 367 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,879 Speaker 1: That's just the nature of the beast when you're a 368 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 1: lawyer in a big firm. But more often than not, 369 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 1: I can take those three nights a week and actually 370 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:49,359 Speaker 1: get work done on these volunteer commitments, and it's rather 371 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,399 Speaker 1: than being tiring, it's exciting because it's different kind of 372 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: work than what you're doing in the day, and it's 373 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 1: making a different kind of contribution to the world. So 374 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,479 Speaker 1: I think a lot of the time, when we feel hired, 375 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily that our bodies are lacking energy. It's 376 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,639 Speaker 1: that our minds need change. And so by you know, 377 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 1: work all day on the lawyer stuff, do the family stuff. 378 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: In the evening and after the kids go to bed, 379 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,200 Speaker 1: I don't want to sleep. I just want some novelty. 380 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 1: I want I want something that's different from what I've 381 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,960 Speaker 1: been doing. And so doing this kind of you know, 382 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: volunteer work, which is flexible in terms of time a 383 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,400 Speaker 1: lot of time, is a great thing to work in 384 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: in the evenings and it doesn't feel onerous, it feels exciting. Well, 385 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,639 Speaker 1: I think that's probably a key point is to choose 386 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 1: something that energizes you because, as you know, there are 387 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,960 Speaker 1: a million causes in the world. None of us is 388 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: going to be able to do all of them. So 389 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,440 Speaker 1: given that we're choosing anyway, you probably want to choose 390 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 1: the ones that motivate you the most and energize you 391 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 1: the most so you have the ability to give back 392 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 1: to them. Absolutely, I mean choose, well, there are a 393 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,000 Speaker 1: ton there are a ton of opportunities, so you know, 394 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 1: be picky about what you get involved in. You know, 395 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: I think it's what essential ism with Greg mckhugh and 396 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 1: who's like if it's not a you know, a hell yes, 397 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,520 Speaker 1: it's a hell no. I mean, he's not the original 398 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,639 Speaker 1: and you've said that, But you're if you look around, 399 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 1: you're bound to find something that excites you. Maybe it's 400 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,919 Speaker 1: within you know, your city, maybe it's somewhere you know, 401 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,520 Speaker 1: somewhere else, but you're about to find something that can 402 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: energize you and make you feel like you're giving you know, 403 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,639 Speaker 1: you're making a contribution in a way that maybe your 404 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,200 Speaker 1: eyes hadn't been open too earlier. Yeah, and let's talk 405 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,639 Speaker 1: about one other way that you were giving back. You 406 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: mentioned that you're also a financial mentor to people, that 407 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,160 Speaker 1: this is something that's been important to you in terms 408 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 1: of looking at financial stability and how people can grow 409 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 1: their wealth over time. Talk a little bit about that 410 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 1: and how you make space for that. Yeah. So what 411 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,480 Speaker 1: I realized is that I live in Fairfax County in Virginia, 412 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,400 Speaker 1: which is it's one of you know, if you look 413 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,199 Speaker 1: at the aggregate statistics, it's one of the wealthiest counties 414 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: in America, But if you look at the distribution of income, 415 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 1: there is a lot of poverty, and it can be 416 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: very easy to shelter yourself, to bubble yourself from that 417 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 1: and to not recognize what's going on. But you know, 418 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:12,119 Speaker 1: I had driven past one part of town enough times 419 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,720 Speaker 1: that was near the homeless shelter and saw people lining 420 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 1: up in the morning. I thought, I've got to do something, 421 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,720 Speaker 1: So you know you can, you can give money to 422 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: like the homeless shelter. But that thought, let me figure 423 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 1: out how can I which I do, but let me 424 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: figure out how I can leverage my skills and interests 425 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:33,360 Speaker 1: to try to make some kind of a really concrete contribution. 426 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 1: It turns out that there's this fantastic organization in our county, 427 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 1: and I'm guessing a lot of places have similar organizations. 428 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 1: It's called Bright Paths, and it provides financial mentoring and 429 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 1: some financial assistance for like basically the working poor in 430 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: our county. So I was able to talk to them 431 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 1: and to become basically a long term financial mentor to people. 432 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: I love personal finance. I'm fascinated by the fire movement, 433 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 1: you know, I think, Laura, I think we have a 434 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: lot in common in terms of some personal finance type interests. 435 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 1: And I thought, well, I know a lot about this, 436 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 1: so let me see if I can help people. So 437 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 1: Brippaz sets you up with someone who you mentor for 438 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 1: six months to a year and you meet with them 439 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 1: multiple times a month and you work through like what 440 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: is your spending, you know, what is your budget? Where 441 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 1: can we tweak things? And it's you know, I love 442 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,639 Speaker 1: tweaking and improving systems, and so it's been able to 443 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 1: have a really hands on role in helping someone go 444 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: from a sense of kind of desperation and indebtedness to 445 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 1: having hope. And it actually is fun. Again, it's not 446 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,199 Speaker 1: for everyone. Not everyone likes personal finance, but to be 447 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 1: able to find that and find a way to really 448 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,639 Speaker 1: have like a hands on effect in the community was exciting. 449 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 1: And again it's something that I want to make time 450 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 1: for because it's enjoyable. And when you want to make 451 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: time for something, you often become much more choosy about 452 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: other things you're spending time on. So when do you 453 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,960 Speaker 1: normally find time for that? Like when are you meeting 454 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 1: with your mentees? Yeah, so I've done a variety of things. 455 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 1: One gentleman and I this was a little crazy, but 456 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 1: he was a personal trainer and he was up at 457 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,159 Speaker 1: you know, five in the morning. We we'ld have weekly 458 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 1: six am Thursday calls. And thought I'm going to be 459 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,320 Speaker 1: awake anyhow, why not, you know, go on a walk 460 00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: and talk with him for thirty minutes. Right now, I 461 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,640 Speaker 1: do twice a month zoom calls on Sunday mornings. Are 462 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: we go to church for our churches back in person 463 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,880 Speaker 1: yet so I thought I'm going to fit this in. 464 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 1: But it's it's just lovely because it's it's a few 465 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,239 Speaker 1: hours a month, which I know isn't much, but it 466 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 1: really helps someone. And you know, I was able to 467 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,360 Speaker 1: figure out, Okay, I can do this on Sunday mornings 468 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,959 Speaker 1: and it doesn't disrupt any work, and it doesn't disrupt family. 469 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,640 Speaker 1: I mean, the kids are playing video games, so exactly. Well, 470 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: it seems that some element of this is also and 471 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,119 Speaker 1: maybe our listeners will take heart from this. As your 472 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,359 Speaker 1: children get a little older, space opens up, Like it 473 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: might have been a lot harder to make space to 474 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: financially mentor people to serve in a position of authority 475 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,959 Speaker 1: and a volunteer organization when you have very little kids. Yeah, 476 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 1: you just have more space. As like you said, on 477 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 1: weekends they're playing video games or whatever. On Sunday morning, 478 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 1: you're sleeping. Do you think that's part of it too? Oh, 479 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: I mean that's a huge element, and I think I 480 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,479 Speaker 1: don't want to undersell that because one it's just the truth, 481 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: and two I think it can provide hope to the 482 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: folks who are in sort of the dark tunnel of 483 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: an early parent. And I have told so many young 484 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,199 Speaker 1: women at work like and young men like, don't worry. 485 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: It gets easier, Like your children their needs change, but 486 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 1: it becomes less physical care and becomes more, you know, 487 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:52,240 Speaker 1: a different kind of emotional bonding. Like yes, absolutely, the 488 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:56,160 Speaker 1: change in or the fact that there isn't changing of diapers, 489 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,120 Speaker 1: it makes a world of difference. So I mean, looked 490 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,360 Speaker 1: for ways to involve your children in some of your 491 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 1: community activities, have tried. They're not quite that stage yet. 492 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: We talk about it. Actually, for a while we were 493 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 1: doing through our church. Our church would on Sundays, people 494 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 1: will go to a farmer's market at the end of 495 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 1: the market and do what I guess you call it gleaning. 496 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: Like the farmers would say, here's all the stuff I 497 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: didn't sell, and then we would take it to the 498 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,199 Speaker 1: Arlington County Food Bank and package it for people. So 499 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:32,160 Speaker 1: I tried that with the kids. They didn't like wearing hairnets, unfortunately, 500 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: but you know you'd keep If at first you don't succeed, 501 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,719 Speaker 1: try try again. Exactly good advice for life. Well, Kathleen, 502 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,720 Speaker 1: we always end with what we call a love of 503 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: the week. As a longtime listener, you know that, so 504 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 1: I will say that, sorry we have people talking, we 505 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 1: don't just so people know. Kathleen and I got started 506 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: a little bit late with the technology issue, so I'd 507 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 1: said everyone be quiet from eleven thirty to twelve, and 508 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 1: it's after twelve, so sorry, mom, we're not going. We're 509 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,800 Speaker 1: not being quiet anymore. But one thing I do like 510 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: is there's such a plethora of video conference and recording 511 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,359 Speaker 1: platforms now that when one didn't work, we jumped to another. 512 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: So here we are, and you know, maybe it's not perfect, 513 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 1: but my love of the week will be the preponderance 514 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 1: of video and recording software that is out there now, 515 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,040 Speaker 1: because five years ago we absolutely could not have done this. Kathleen, 516 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: how about you. I always love hearing people's loves of 517 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 1: the week, and I had a hard time choosing. I 518 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 1: guess I'm an enthusiastic person, you could say, but I 519 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: am re listening to the audio book version of this 520 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 1: fantastic book and give me a moment to sell it, 521 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: because it won't appeal the folks at first, maybe, but 522 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,719 Speaker 1: give it a shot. It's called The Death and Life 523 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 1: of Great American Cities. It's by a woman named Jane Jacobs. 524 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 1: She was not a trained city planner. I think she 525 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 1: was basically an involved community mother in New York in 526 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 1: the nineteen fifties and there was this effort to build 527 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: it was going to be a highway right across Manhattan, 528 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: connecting New Jersey and Brooklyn, and they were going to 529 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,000 Speaker 1: basically destroy all of what is you know, Soho and 530 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 1: Greenwich Village and such. And she became an activist fighting 531 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:13,160 Speaker 1: back against this, and later on learning a lot about 532 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: city development, wrote this book called The Death and Life 533 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 1: of Great American Cities. It is the most fascinating look 534 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 1: at how cities work and how you can make them better. 535 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: You will never like, I never thought I could read 536 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 1: so much about sidewalks and be interested. But it's just 537 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: this great look at like what makes her places enjoyable 538 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 1: places to be And you just kind of read it 539 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,040 Speaker 1: and say, you know, I feel myself cheering like yes, yes, yes, 540 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: you know you're you're hitting on all these things, and 541 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: what I love is that she was she was also 542 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 1: like a volunteer who decided she was passionate about something 543 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 1: and then became a real expert in it. So highly 544 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 1: recommend the Death and Life of Great American Cities. It's 545 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: more fun than it sounds, I promise, and a great 546 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 1: thing for the chairperson of the Fairfax City Economic Development 547 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: Authority to be reading right as full sir CLU. But Kathleen, 548 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. And I know 549 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 1: you're not you know, it's like you're not a public 550 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:12,800 Speaker 1: person per se. But if people want to learn more about, 551 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: say your work with Fairfax, is there a place they 552 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,120 Speaker 1: can go to look for that or anywhere you'd like 553 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 1: people to connect with you. Yeah. I think I have 554 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 1: a little bio on the city's website, but I'm on Instagram. 555 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 1: It's it sounds so cheesy, minimalish mom, that's I h so, 556 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: I you know post there a lot about I mean 557 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 1: pictures of food. I like baking things like that. So 558 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: it's just a little a silly little platform. But certainly 559 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: would love to connect with other best of both worlds listeners. 560 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: And I think it's a great little tribe that you've 561 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,000 Speaker 1: built here. We like to think so too. So yeah, 562 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 1: check Kathleen out at Minimalish Mom. Thank you so much 563 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 1: Kathleen for joining us. Thank you, Laura, take care all right, 564 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 1: Well that was great listening to Kathleen, and now we 565 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 1: have our questions section. So Sarah's going to We're going 566 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: to play this question from somebody who sent it in 567 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,120 Speaker 1: on speak pipe. Sarah, can you remind our listeners how 568 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:13,960 Speaker 1: they can do that? Yes, So the easiest way to 569 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,520 Speaker 1: find this speak pipelink is to actually go to the 570 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 1: Best Laid Plans page on my blog. Maybe I should 571 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 1: figure out how to put it on the best of 572 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 1: Both Worlds links page at some point that will be 573 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: a project, but right now it's on the Best Laid 574 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 1: Plans page. If you scroll down, there's a button and 575 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,640 Speaker 1: you just click it. You could be on your phone, 576 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 1: you could be on your computer, anything with a microphone, 577 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: and you speak into that. If that is too onerous, 578 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: you could also just email us a little voice file. 579 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: So on any kind of phone, there's a voice recorder app. 580 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,800 Speaker 1: You press play, and then you can share it like 581 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: anything else, via email to Laura or myself. So there 582 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: are many ways to share a audio question and we're 583 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,280 Speaker 1: happy to include your voices on our show. All right, 584 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:55,080 Speaker 1: let's listen to this question. Hi, Sarah, I'm a longtime 585 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 1: listener Best of both Worlds and have been tuning into 586 00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 1: Best Laid Plans since the beginning. About planning for kid clothing. 587 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 1: Some of my toddler's clothes are hand me downs from friends, 588 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: and I fill in the rest by buying new clothes. 589 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 1: I find it so hard to anticipate what he will 590 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,479 Speaker 1: need and how many different items for any given season. 591 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,479 Speaker 1: And while I appreciate the hand me downs, we end 592 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 1: up with so many items that don't fit quite right 593 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 1: or aren't the right fit for the season. I give 594 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 1: away the clothes I definitely know won't work, but I 595 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 1: also hold on to many of them just in case. 596 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 1: Although my toddler's approaching too, I still feel like a 597 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: new parent and struggle to figure out how many of 598 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: different clothing items I need each season. How do you 599 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,480 Speaker 1: plan for your kid's clothes and organize yourself so they 600 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 1: have what they need and it doesn't feel like there's 601 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:45,240 Speaker 1: just so much stuff? Thanks? Well, great questions, Sarah. What 602 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,960 Speaker 1: are you guys doing for the clothes situation? I mean, 603 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: what are we doing versus what do I wish we 604 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 1: were doing? Those are two different answers, but I don't know, 605 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,160 Speaker 1: so I say we're mostly functional in this, and the 606 00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,479 Speaker 1: thing that helps us keep things under control more than 607 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,160 Speaker 1: anything else is having a very limited space in which 608 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: we store our children's active wardrobes. Currently this is a 609 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 1: little outside of the box actually, all right, So you know, 610 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 1: all of our kids are sleeping in one room. None 611 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 1: of their clothes are up in either of the bedrooms. 612 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,000 Speaker 1: I recognize that's an unconventional toice, but they usually come 613 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,240 Speaker 1: down before they get dressed, and nobody, at least none 614 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 1: of my children want to go back upstairs to put 615 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: on clothing. Annabelle has started to kind of sneak back 616 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: upstairs and get herself ready, So perhaps she's reaching that 617 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,640 Speaker 1: level of maturity where it would make sense to put 618 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 1: some clothing in her actual shared bedroom or in the 619 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,120 Speaker 1: empty bedroom. I don't know, But right now, all the 620 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: clothes are downstairs, and they are in one of those 621 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: target cube storage things, which is also where we have 622 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 1: our toys. So we have like like three of them 623 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: like kind of against one wall. I can include a 624 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: picture if I remember, and each kid has I think 625 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 1: just two bins right now, plus a bin on top 626 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,360 Speaker 1: where socks and underwear are stored. And therefore each child's 627 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 1: active wardrobe is really not that many cubic feet of space, 628 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,880 Speaker 1: and that in and of itself prevents it from getting 629 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: out of control more than I think any other kind 630 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,280 Speaker 1: of system would, because if the bins start to overflow, 631 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 1: that is my cue to say, let's get rid of 632 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: what you're not wearing and doesn't fit. So that is 633 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,279 Speaker 1: my current way of doing things. I, since I only 634 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,399 Speaker 1: have one boy and my children do, tend to wear 635 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 1: things that are fairly gendered. Thus far, nobody's wanted to 636 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: experiment with more neutral types of styles. Usually I keep 637 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 1: the stuff that is really nice. A lot of it's 638 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,840 Speaker 1: not nice, and a lot of it gets wrecked. But 639 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 1: if it's really nice, stuff of anibals and it's nice. 640 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,840 Speaker 1: I have one plastic box where I've been keeping it 641 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,799 Speaker 1: for Genevieve for later use. I try to remember to 642 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,879 Speaker 1: look in there each season to see if stuff fits. 643 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,160 Speaker 1: In fact of anything, I feel like sometimes we pull 644 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,440 Speaker 1: things out too early because we get excited and like 645 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: its size six and she's four, and we're like, yeah, 646 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 1: close enough, and it's big and whatever. As long as 647 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,720 Speaker 1: it's getting used, it makes me happy, and that's pretty 648 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,520 Speaker 1: much it. We try to donate, you know, everything else 649 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 1: as it gets to be too big. I don't think 650 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 1: too hard about where I donate. If I have a 651 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 1: friend that wants stuff, great, Otherwise we just drop it 652 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 1: off at Goodwill or other types of drop off places. Now, 653 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,360 Speaker 1: in terms of accepting hand me downs, and this was 654 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: mentioned for the most part, unless somebody, unless I know 655 00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 1: the person and I know they have really nice stuff, 656 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,240 Speaker 1: I'm just like, no thanks, because I actually enjoy getting 657 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: clothes for my kids, and a lot of times hand 658 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,840 Speaker 1: me downs are I don't want the pressure of like 659 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,400 Speaker 1: having to use them all I don't know. So I 660 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 1: have one friend who does have really, really wonderful style, 661 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,800 Speaker 1: and she's assured me that anything I don't want in 662 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,440 Speaker 1: the bags, I can just donate, so I do, and 663 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,799 Speaker 1: if there's stuff that is perfect for my kids, then 664 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,400 Speaker 1: I will kind of selectively pick it out. But I 665 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 1: don't think that you should pressure yourself to take huge 666 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,160 Speaker 1: amounts of clothing from someone and somehow put them to 667 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 1: use if they don't fit your needs. All right, that's 668 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:47,800 Speaker 1: kind of my current system. Yeah, I won't pretend ours 669 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,839 Speaker 1: this incredibly well organized. I won't say that there's any 670 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:54,360 Speaker 1: seasonal culling per se, but we have been pretty good 671 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,320 Speaker 1: about storing little boy clothes and bins in a closet 672 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 1: labeled with the size. So currently, I mean, the transfer 673 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,720 Speaker 1: from Jasper to Sam has not been quite as smooth, 674 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,160 Speaker 1: but I can definitely say that once stuff has left 675 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: the SAM size and is going toward Alex and then 676 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,440 Speaker 1: toward Henry, we have been definitely keeping all of these. 677 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 1: So you know, we go through and say, okay, now 678 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 1: it's time to open the box of two tea little 679 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 1: boy stuff, which is what we're doing now for Henry, 680 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 1: And so there's a whole bin of two tea little 681 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,360 Speaker 1: boy stuff that we're pulling things out of it. It It 682 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 1: is so fun to see some of the same outfits 683 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,719 Speaker 1: that all my boys have worn at this point. I mean, 684 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,680 Speaker 1: some stuff gets totally wrecked, right, and some stuff just 685 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,120 Speaker 1: the passage of time, Like it turns out that elastic 686 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,799 Speaker 1: waistbands over fourteen years do in fact fall apart many 687 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,680 Speaker 1: many little boys sweatpants really and that doesn't even work anymore, 688 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 1: so those have to be dumped. But some stuff still works, 689 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,799 Speaker 1: like we have a little pair of khaki shorts that 690 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: all of them have worn. It's just a nice little 691 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 1: eighteen month size pair of shorts. And there's some shirts 692 00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 1: that they have all worn, some of which has earthly 693 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,000 Speaker 1: names in Like Henry was wearing a little shirt that 694 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,320 Speaker 1: I must have sent as a you know, second outfit 695 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,760 Speaker 1: with Sam somewhere because it had his name in the back, 696 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,240 Speaker 1: so that you know, if he needed to change clothes, 697 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 1: you'd have it. But now Henry's wearing it, you know, 698 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,200 Speaker 1: great many years later, so we could be better about it. 699 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,919 Speaker 1: But it's been fun to see that hand me down 700 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,640 Speaker 1: stuff go through. Unfortunately, we've saved stuff that you probably 701 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: don't need to save. Two, Like I have a bin 702 00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,680 Speaker 1: of shoes, Like nobody's going to use these shoes, Like 703 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:27,799 Speaker 1: I mean some of the baby shoes, yes, because they 704 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 1: didn't get that much use, but like five year old 705 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,480 Speaker 1: kids shoes were just so wrecked by the time they're done. 706 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,560 Speaker 1: I don't know why I saved it anyway. I have 707 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,520 Speaker 1: trouble throwing things away sometimes, but I've generally not had 708 00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,640 Speaker 1: to buy coats and boots and stuff like that often, 709 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,880 Speaker 1: which is great. As for donations, there's a couple of 710 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 1: organizations like Green Drop, you might look into this. If 711 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,920 Speaker 1: they're operating in your area, they will come to your 712 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,319 Speaker 1: house and get the stuff. So if you don't have 713 00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:57,520 Speaker 1: a convenient place nearby to drop it off, you can 714 00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,880 Speaker 1: just on their website. They'll say which nonprofit do you 715 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,800 Speaker 1: want to support? Like in our area, it's like American 716 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 1: Red Cross and a few others. You put it out 717 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 1: on your front porch on a certain day, like have 718 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 1: it out by seven am, and they'll come pick it 719 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,920 Speaker 1: up in the course of the day and great. Just 720 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,800 Speaker 1: as always, the same rules apply. You can't donate anything 721 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,600 Speaker 1: that's trashy. You know people have this. When nonprofits take 722 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,200 Speaker 1: your old clothes, they are usually not giving it to 723 00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:24,000 Speaker 1: people who need it. Like people should probably understand this. 724 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,520 Speaker 1: They are selling it, right, They sell it to raise 725 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: money to support their programs. So if it can't be sold, 726 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 1: like if no one would buy it, like pay money 727 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:37,399 Speaker 1: for this thing, then don't donate it. It's just trash. 728 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: See if there's a way it can be recycled, used 729 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,080 Speaker 1: as rags something like that, because otherwise they will have 730 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,200 Speaker 1: to dump it and that's just more of a burden 731 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:47,720 Speaker 1: for these nonprofits to then have to dispose of. But yeah, 732 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,839 Speaker 1: that's what we do. I try to schedule a pick 733 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,239 Speaker 1: up every six months or so. But currently we have 734 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:56,000 Speaker 1: all sorts of boxes of baby clothes in the hallway 735 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 1: that I probably need to go through and donate. But 736 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,200 Speaker 1: that's always a you know, emotional sort of thing, so 737 00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 1: I have not done it yet. So you've really never 738 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 1: done it. None of your boys clothes? How about your 739 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:11,160 Speaker 1: girls clothes? Some of roots I have donated at little 740 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:15,080 Speaker 1: boy little girl stuff, but I probably should get rid 741 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,360 Speaker 1: of more of it. I'm sure I still have some. 742 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 1: I probably have bins of it up in the attic. 743 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,120 Speaker 1: It's you know, it's so cute, though, I mean, it's 744 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,839 Speaker 1: going to be like a thing to go through it, 745 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:26,359 Speaker 1: so I will. I will at some point. All right, Well, 746 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 1: this has been best of both worlds. We've been talking 747 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,239 Speaker 1: with Kathleen Paley about community involvement and making time for that. 748 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,840 Speaker 1: We will be back next week with more on making 749 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:39,359 Speaker 1: work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can 750 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,879 Speaker 1: find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at 751 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,440 Speaker 1: the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me 752 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,719 Speaker 1: Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the 753 00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,240 Speaker 1: best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time 754 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 1: for more on making work and life work together.