1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,920
Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went

2
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,360
Speaker 1: on sale. It's called the Heighth and Mighty Tour. I

3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:09,680
Speaker 1: will be starting debuting my new material in February of

4
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:19,560
Speaker 1: next year. So I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,

5
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:27,160
Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,

6
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:34,480
Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,

7
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:41,559
Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,

8
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:48,040
Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and

9
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:55,080
Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.

10
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,279
Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June. Those are

11
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,080
Speaker 1: the cities that I'm in, So go get your tickets now.

12
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,200
Speaker 1: If you want good seats and you want to come

13
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,679
Speaker 1: see me perform, I will be on the High and

14
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:13,679
Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. Hi Catherine, Hello, Chelsea, Hello, Hello, I'm on

15
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,000
Speaker 1: a real bender this week.

16
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,560
Speaker 2: I'm just hearing about all your travels. You're going everywhere.

17
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,000
Speaker 2: You're going to Antarctica. I can't keep track of you.

18
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,920
Speaker 3: I've had a busy I haven't even gotten that far

19
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,560
Speaker 3: to Antarctica. Hopefully a suitcase shows up to show me

20
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,600
Speaker 3: what's when I'm bringing, because I have been out. I

21
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,880
Speaker 3: did a show at the Improv that I went into

22
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,160
Speaker 3: a party for Mark Maren's podcast and oh that's fun.

23
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,280
Speaker 3: And then I was with Fortune and Osco and then

24
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,640
Speaker 3: Zoe my one of my poopsies. And then last night

25
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,640
Speaker 3: I went to go see my friend open for the

26
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,600
Speaker 3: Queen of the Stone Ages and then we went out.

27
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,480
Speaker 4: So I am on a bender.

28
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:52,640
Speaker 5: I love it.

29
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,880
Speaker 2: And I'm sure you haven't slept. You're like here with

30
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:55,680
Speaker 2: me until now.

31
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:56,280
Speaker 4: I'm sleep.

32
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,000
Speaker 5: I sleep, I sleep, I sleep.

33
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,800
Speaker 1: You know I'm never fully rested because I just like

34
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,160
Speaker 1: to well complain.

35
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,440
Speaker 5: You love to burn the candle at both ends.

36
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,280
Speaker 1: Yes, but I am leaving for Antiarctica on Saturday morning,

37
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,919
Speaker 1: and there's lots of interesting activities.

38
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:11,919
Speaker 4: They think there's going to be.

39
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,240
Speaker 1: Theme nights there, and they think that I'm gonna have

40
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,800
Speaker 1: read that part of the invitation. But that is going

41
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 1: to be something that I miss. I went to Maria

42
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,000
Speaker 1: Shriver's seventieth birthday this weekend and it was a seventies

43
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,120
Speaker 1: theme party, and I had just come from the Texas

44
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,160
Speaker 1: Book Fair. So it was perfect because I was like, oh,

45
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 1: I didn't see that part of the Everyone's like, where's

46
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,200
Speaker 1: your outfit? I'm like, I didn't know this was a

47
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:30,920
Speaker 1: theme party.

48
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,840
Speaker 5: Also, like, you don't really dress up, so even if you.

49
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,359
Speaker 4: Did, that's exactly right. I'm not dressing up for theme parties.

50
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,040
Speaker 1: I have to bring so many puppy and ski clothes

51
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:41,960
Speaker 1: down to Antarctica.

52
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,239
Speaker 4: Like, I don't have room for theme night activities.

53
00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:45,880
Speaker 5: No, ain't. Nobody got time for that.

54
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,760
Speaker 4: So I do me and everyone else does that exactly.

55
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,960
Speaker 2: And you'll probably be in bed with a book by

56
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,320
Speaker 2: that anyway, so it's fine.

57
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, have you been to Antarctica before?

58
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,720
Speaker 4: No, I have not, which is a weird question to ask.

59
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,920
Speaker 1: I don't think people go on multiple trips Antarctica. But

60
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,239
Speaker 1: unless you're like an exit, you know, unless you're an explorer,

61
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,600
Speaker 1: which you know. I'm a life explorer, but no, this

62
00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,000
Speaker 1: will be my first trip to Antarctica. We have a

63
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,760
Speaker 1: special guest, a surprise special guest coming, and I'm going

64
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,280
Speaker 1: with my friend, but some guy I met in Vegas

65
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,680
Speaker 1: has decided to join us, so he got a ticket

66
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:18,680
Speaker 1: in Christ coming too.

67
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:22,160
Speaker 4: So there could be so many different developments happening. There

68
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,360
Speaker 4: could be penetration in Antarctica.

69
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,799
Speaker 2: Oh oh, oh my gosh, well that you're going to

70
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,640
Speaker 2: study like LSD and psychedelics and then also the effects

71
00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:30,800
Speaker 2: of penetration in Antarcopica.

72
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 1: And we're going to be studying LSD and the effects

73
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,960
Speaker 1: of psychedelics alongside penguins.

74
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 4: So who knows what could happen.

75
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,200
Speaker 1: There's polar plunging, there's expeditions every day. My friends like,

76
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,040
Speaker 1: are we going to go skiing? I'm like, I don't

77
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,040
Speaker 1: think there's a ski rental shop in Antarctica, but I mean,

78
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,960
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna flat. I think I think of it

79
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,680
Speaker 1: as very flat. They have major crevasses and mountains, and

80
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 1: I think, so I don't think it's flat, But who

81
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,720
Speaker 1: knows what I know? I mean, it's usually way off base.

82
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,880
Speaker 5: You didn't read that, I did, No, Well, you know what.

83
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,480
Speaker 5: I'm so excited for our guest day. She is so fun.

84
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,520
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, one of my one of my dear friends.

85
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,920
Speaker 1: I love her. So you know our next guest today

86
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:14,080
Speaker 1: from wedding crashers arrested development and then now you see me.

87
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,320
Speaker 1: Now you don't franchise, Please welcome Isla Fisher.

88
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,279
Speaker 4: Okay, we're here.

89
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,240
Speaker 5: With I'm going to shut the door.

90
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:27,560
Speaker 1: Maybe relax. I can't do It's like pre ejaculation, pre ejaculation.

91
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:28,560
Speaker 1: I got so excited.

92
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,680
Speaker 5: I'm a rectile dysfunctioned. I'm like, what am I going

93
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,839
Speaker 5: to say in this? I'm my exact opposite.

94
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,120
Speaker 1: Don't worry. We're going to guide you.

95
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,159
Speaker 5: I'm going to guide you.

96
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,120
Speaker 1: Thanks, we're in safe hands. How long are you here for?

97
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,320
Speaker 5: Till tomorrow?

98
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:42,520
Speaker 4: And then you go back to London?

99
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,880
Speaker 5: Back to London. You have been there a lot and

100
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,440
Speaker 5: not texted me, and I see on your social media.

101
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,080
Speaker 5: I'm nice to you every time i'm there because people

102
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:50,600
Speaker 5: tell me, like.

103
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,040
Speaker 1: Chelsea, I said, come to Glastonbury.

104
00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,240
Speaker 5: I said, yeah, you look like you had fun. It

105
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,720
Speaker 5: was Stella's birthday the other day.

106
00:04:58,880 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 1: Oh was it?

107
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,240
Speaker 4: I didn't I didn't know.

108
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:01,839
Speaker 5: I didn't know.

109
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,200
Speaker 4: Though she face timed me.

110
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,560
Speaker 1: She tried to convince me to come to New York

111
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,159
Speaker 1: two weeks ago for her Climate Award and she almost

112
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,680
Speaker 1: got me. I'm so I'm so easy to like rep

113
00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:12,080
Speaker 1: in shit, I realized. I was like. I was sitting

114
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,800
Speaker 1: there with her, I'm talking to her face timing, and

115
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,839
Speaker 1: I'm like, she just come in for one night, just

116
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,840
Speaker 1: come for one night time. Jane vond is gaming the award,

117
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,840
Speaker 1: It'll be the three And I was like and then

118
00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm not coming in for a night.

119
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,360
Speaker 1: I'm like this this strong arming.

120
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,800
Speaker 5: Get yourself to Paris my fashion.

121
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 1: Oh let's start this conversation houting Stella McCart. Now you know,

122
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,600
Speaker 1: we love Stella. But Stella is always always asking for

123
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,200
Speaker 1: someone to go somewhere to do something. And then I

124
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,440
Speaker 1: say to her, I'm like, okay, she asked me. Last

125
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,719
Speaker 1: year I left, I was in London. She's like, you know,

126
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,200
Speaker 1: what would you do this campaign with me where you're

127
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,880
Speaker 1: just nude. You're the only one who has the guts

128
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,280
Speaker 1: to be nude. No for you know, for her veganism

129
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,760
Speaker 1: or something about you know, saving that. I always lie

130
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,280
Speaker 1: and tell her I'm not eating meat, and then I

131
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,240
Speaker 1: do because it's easier, right, It's easier than having the common.

132
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,039
Speaker 5: Pether around her. Forget it?

133
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, She doesn't like any of that stuff.

134
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,920
Speaker 1: But to her credit, she does incredible once she made

135
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,719
Speaker 1: all over clothes without animals, and she's very moral about

136
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,120
Speaker 1: the climate and about.

137
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,360
Speaker 5: Yeah and activism. She says what she means, she does,

138
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,400
Speaker 5: she stands by. She's not one of those kind of

139
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:17,960
Speaker 5: hypocritical activists.

140
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,480
Speaker 1: But as soon as I told her that she had

141
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,159
Speaker 1: to pay for my hair, makeup and flight and hotel,

142
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,919
Speaker 1: I didn't hear from her for like three weeks. I

143
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,240
Speaker 1: didn't hear another word about it.

144
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:27,800
Speaker 4: So that's Stella and Nutshell.

145
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,279
Speaker 5: I didn't say that everybody.

146
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,320
Speaker 1: I didn't say Ella. I still love the handbag, said

147
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:34,520
Speaker 1: Chelsea Handler.

148
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,360
Speaker 4: This is Chelsea Handler saying it.

149
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,240
Speaker 1: But at Glastonbury this year, because I texted you because

150
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,880
Speaker 1: now you're living in London, and I was like, come

151
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,760
Speaker 1: to Glastonbury. So we all stayed at this hotel that's

152
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,640
Speaker 1: like forty five minutes away, Okay, And we get there

153
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,720
Speaker 1: and Stella had sent all of us clothes, and so

154
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,159
Speaker 1: my closet is filled with all of Stella's clothes and

155
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,400
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. None of the sizes fit me, they no,

156
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,760
Speaker 1: none of nothing she sent me fit. So I left

157
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,000
Speaker 1: the hotel and I left all the clothes in the closet,

158
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,479
Speaker 1: and then the woman that runs the hotel texted me

159
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,960
Speaker 1: and said, hey, you left all these Stella McCartney clothes

160
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,599
Speaker 1: in the closet. I said, give them to the staff.

161
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 1: I told her that they don't fit me. I told

162
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,120
Speaker 1: her to look at Isla's.

163
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 5: Like, but you finished wearing them, sent them back. I

164
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,200
Speaker 5: would never have got to get Wait.

165
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,760
Speaker 1: Wait then a month later, my assistant texts me and

166
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,600
Speaker 1: says Stella's assistant is asking where the clothes are. I'm like,

167
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,240
Speaker 1: I left them in the hotel so that somebody could

168
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,600
Speaker 1: make some good use out of them, because it wasn't

169
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,000
Speaker 1: going to be me. Listen, I've told to getting turned.

170
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,800
Speaker 5: If this stays in the podcast.

171
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:37,760
Speaker 1: You're innocent. You're innocent. You're not saying anything. It's just me,

172
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,400
Speaker 1: So you're safe. Isla Isa's here to promote her new movie.

173
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,040
Speaker 1: Now you see me. Now you don't you missed one

174
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,760
Speaker 1: of these because there's this is the third most part.

175
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,720
Speaker 4: Right, You've been pregnant a lot in your life, but

176
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:48,640
Speaker 4: be honest.

177
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,040
Speaker 5: Pregnant continued, some people love to work. I just like,

178
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,640
Speaker 5: have another baby and no it'll notice.

179
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,720
Speaker 1: But now you're free to work because the kids are

180
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:55,160
Speaker 1: growing up.

181
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,640
Speaker 5: It's a grown up and you know, and I'm a

182
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,440
Speaker 5: new chapter in my life and I'm just trying to

183
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,560
Speaker 5: kind of re establish who I am as somebody who

184
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,960
Speaker 5: enjoys performing and writing. And it's like been a whole thing.

185
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,480
Speaker 5: It's like I've got a whole new identity.

186
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,120
Speaker 1: I know, I love it. And you filmed that fun

187
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,080
Speaker 1: movie with Leslie with.

188
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,080
Speaker 5: Michelle Bach, so you should have been in that.

189
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,680
Speaker 1: I know I should have been in it. Nobody ever

190
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,280
Speaker 1: asked me to do movies. I never get it.

191
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,040
Speaker 5: I would have been so we had so much fun.

192
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,040
Speaker 5: We shot it in Australia's called Spa Weekend. It's John

193
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,680
Speaker 5: Lucas and Scott Moore who did Bad Moms and The Hangover,

194
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:28,880
Speaker 5: and it's just like, you know, real like really funny

195
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,559
Speaker 5: ladies having a really fun time. Yeah, although there was

196
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,360
Speaker 5: a tornado or a cyclone rather in Australia, Australia while

197
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,800
Speaker 5: we were there, and we were on lockdown in this

198
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,320
Speaker 5: hotel with like Paul Rudd, who else was there, like

199
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,200
Speaker 5: Jack Black, the cast of Like Anaconda, the cast of

200
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,600
Speaker 5: Like There was basically four movies, so imagine it's like

201
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,520
Speaker 5: what's that movie with Ruben where they're all on an island. Anyway,

202
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,680
Speaker 5: imagine a bunch of sort of actors, precious actors in

203
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,120
Speaker 5: a hotel shut down for like six.

204
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,000
Speaker 1: Days, actors from all different movies.

205
00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:02,320
Speaker 5: Yes, oh yeah, it went from Raised two. Let's just

206
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,120
Speaker 5: say there wasn't enough to kill her in the bar

207
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,560
Speaker 5: to keep everybody happy.

208
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,240
Speaker 1: Is it fun for you to shoot in Australia because

209
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,720
Speaker 1: you grew you grew up in Australia, but you're you

210
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,840
Speaker 1: didn't move to Australia until what you were six? Yeah,

211
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,200
Speaker 1: and you're Scottish.

212
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have like a super complicated cultural identity because like,

213
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,120
Speaker 5: my parents are Scottish, but I was born in Oman

214
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:25,079
Speaker 5: and I was raised between Iran and Sarawak and Brunei,

215
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,280
Speaker 5: and then we kind of moved back to Cambridge, England randomly,

216
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,319
Speaker 5: and then we immigrated to Australia, to Western Australia, which

217
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,920
Speaker 5: is the most isolated city in the world for reasons

218
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,839
Speaker 5: my parents have never quite disclosed.

219
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,560
Speaker 1: Why did you guys move with so much? Was your

220
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 1: dad in the military.

221
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,959
Speaker 5: Around that time there was some sort of talk of

222
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,360
Speaker 5: a Cold War. I mean it sounds so paranoid but

223
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:49,120
Speaker 5: my mom, My mom was convinced that our lives were

224
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,920
Speaker 5: there was going to be a nuclear war and that

225
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,439
Speaker 5: we were safe in Australia.

226
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,000
Speaker 4: Really yeah, but yeah.

227
00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,160
Speaker 1: But so why were you born in Oman?

228
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,080
Speaker 5: Who was my dad? For the un and so he

229
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,840
Speaker 5: when you Yeah, so he basically was in banking, but

230
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,320
Speaker 5: he would travel to you know, we were always in

231
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,640
Speaker 5: you know, Papua New Guinea. We were always kind of

232
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,320
Speaker 5: growing up and in different I guess cultures until we

233
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,480
Speaker 5: got till I started like primary school, maybe like year two,

234
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,760
Speaker 5: and then we were sort of solid until I obviously

235
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,920
Speaker 5: then traveled the world and became a clown.

236
00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:21,920
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, we went to clown school too. First

237
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,640
Speaker 1: of all, how does it work with all of your

238
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,120
Speaker 1: family reunions when you get all together, can you understand

239
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,320
Speaker 1: how word anybody fucking says?

240
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,920
Speaker 5: No, it's definitely and my mother's on her third husband,

241
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,760
Speaker 5: it's definitely shake yes, yes, And so it's definitely like

242
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,720
Speaker 5: a very much a dysfunctional but deeply loving, very you know,

243
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:41,640
Speaker 5: multi generational and quite eccentric group. But there's a lot

244
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,319
Speaker 5: of love. There's a lot of love, and we will

245
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,000
Speaker 5: put a lot of effort into seeing each other.

246
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,120
Speaker 1: There's a lot of love in dysfunction. Yeah, there really is. Yeah,

247
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,679
Speaker 1: I mean that's what it is. It's dysfunction, because otherwise

248
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,440
Speaker 1: if it's not dysfunctional. I mean, I don't know anybody

249
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,040
Speaker 1: who has a normal functional upbringing and that was like,

250
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,640
Speaker 1: oh my really, unless like some older white men will

251
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,640
Speaker 1: say that, they'll.

252
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,760
Speaker 5: Be like they're just lying, yeah, yeah, are they?

253
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,840
Speaker 4: Or do they not notice how the dysfunction?

254
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,640
Speaker 1: Because I wonder if some people don't notice the dysfunction,

255
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,480
Speaker 1: you know, like women are much more in tune with dysfunction.

256
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,720
Speaker 5: I think, Well, I do think a lot of people

257
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,079
Speaker 5: do notice it, but they choose to ignore it and

258
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,040
Speaker 5: it makes them feel better to feel wholesome about their

259
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,920
Speaker 5: family relations rather than you know, to sort of accept

260
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,240
Speaker 5: the fact that we might all be, you know, broken

261
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,200
Speaker 5: in different ways and that that's okay.

262
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's okay to remain broken, like you're not

263
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,199
Speaker 1: fixed in life ever, Like just when you think you've

264
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,120
Speaker 1: got it now and you get fucking hit.

265
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:36,480
Speaker 4: In the face.

266
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,960
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean that. I speak from personal experience when

267
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,000
Speaker 1: I say that, I mean I feel like the last

268
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,320
Speaker 1: book I wrote was so about female empowerment and like

269
00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,560
Speaker 1: just really how to get to know yourself, how to

270
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,600
Speaker 1: love yourself. And then I fucking I am literally in

271
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,559
Speaker 1: the middle of like a nervous breakdown because of this

272
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,840
Speaker 1: stupid fucking house I'm building has cost me so much drama,

273
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,480
Speaker 1: really drama, an emotional toll. Yes, and it's like, Wow,

274
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,880
Speaker 1: I really thought I had fucking shit figured out.

275
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,880
Speaker 5: Wait, but what could possibly cause you that much drama

276
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:04,559
Speaker 5: with the house?

277
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,440
Speaker 4: The house I bought from RFK Junior.

278
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,200
Speaker 5: Oh, it's curse.

279
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, it's definitely curse.

280
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,160
Speaker 5: Just Thailand Oll just scrubbed out for it.

281
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,839
Speaker 1: I mean there will be by the time I get

282
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,160
Speaker 1: done with it. Yeah, I took Thailand all throughout all

283
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,840
Speaker 1: of my pregnancies. I want to say on the record,

284
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,199
Speaker 1: So what do you feel like? Do you feel Australian?

285
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 1: You must, right, I think.

286
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,160
Speaker 5: My sensibility is kind of Australian, Like I'm Gregarias some

287
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,760
Speaker 5: kind of like laid back in some regards. But then

288
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,840
Speaker 5: I do have that kind of you know, my mom

289
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,200
Speaker 5: was very she was on the first woman that went

290
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,559
Speaker 5: to Cambridge. He's very educated. My father's very I come

291
00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:39,000
Speaker 5: from a kind of like a sort of in a

292
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,360
Speaker 5: way bit of an academic background. So the Australian thing

293
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,800
Speaker 5: is a little more like I feel like I identify

294
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 5: more with like the surfing and the outdoor lifestyle, and honestly,

295
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:52,160
Speaker 5: just like Australians are just really friendly. Yeah, they are friends,

296
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,400
Speaker 5: they are They're really friendly.

297
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,720
Speaker 4: Do you think people are friendly in London?

298
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,120
Speaker 5: I definitely think that it's a different kind of friendly.

299
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:03,000
Speaker 1: Well, you went from LA to London. Yeah, so LA friendly.

300
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:06,400
Speaker 5: Definitely friendly. I've still my LA mates. I love them.

301
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,880
Speaker 5: I pop into town for a few days and I

302
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,640
Speaker 5: get bombarded with like love text.

303
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,840
Speaker 1: LA's more fun to visit than to live.

304
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:12,560
Speaker 4: I think.

305
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe you're right, particularly post the apocalypse.

306
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean right now you must be grateful

307
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,600
Speaker 1: that you're not living in the States during this kind of.

308
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,600
Speaker 5: Definitely, yeah, it's definitely. It feels like, oh, it just

309
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,960
Speaker 5: feels like everybody's got a very loud opinion and they

310
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,880
Speaker 5: want to discuss it, and there seems to be you know,

311
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,600
Speaker 5: in London, people are a little more you know, people

312
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:34,680
Speaker 5: don't reveal their political beliefs, necessarily their religious beliefs. They're

313
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:39,560
Speaker 5: very careful to put civility and connection above like, whereas

314
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,160
Speaker 5: here in LA sometimes it feels a little like someone's

315
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,080
Speaker 5: opinions become their identity, and therefore if you don't share

316
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,520
Speaker 5: their values or their opinions in their mind, that you

317
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,080
Speaker 5: therefore don't like them. There's not a sort of separation

318
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,440
Speaker 5: between church and state, so to speak. And I find

319
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,520
Speaker 5: that is like now, I just don't want to sort

320
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,120
Speaker 5: of I just don't want to fight or have a

321
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,360
Speaker 5: different opinion. I just want to connect with people. I

322
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,679
Speaker 5: don't know whether it's like with ever I've been through

323
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,200
Speaker 5: for the last two years, but I just want to

324
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,480
Speaker 5: like feel like we're all just together in this, which

325
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:05,960
Speaker 5: we are.

326
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, we are all together in this. I agree with you. Yeah,

327
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,880
Speaker 1: I mean I'm even guilty of it myself listening to

328
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,560
Speaker 1: you talk about it, because you know, I can, like,

329
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,040
Speaker 1: you know, if I hear somebody is you know, a

330
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,840
Speaker 1: Trump support or something, I'm like, no, no, no, I

331
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:17,920
Speaker 1: don't want anything to do with that.

332
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:18,360
Speaker 4: I can't.

333
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,760
Speaker 1: I need peace, like I need my own peace. But

334
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 1: at the same time, you know, it's nice to not

335
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,320
Speaker 1: even have that be part of the conversation.

336
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, because yeah, and you don't really want to isolate

337
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,400
Speaker 5: yourself and find yourself in a bubble where you're only

338
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 5: with light minded people. Only because then you create an

339
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,880
Speaker 5: emotional bias where you only filter everything you hear or

340
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,200
Speaker 5: read or see through the lens of this is already

341
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,760
Speaker 5: my decided opinion. And as we know, the best thing

342
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,280
Speaker 5: about having opinions is they're flexible and open to new information.

343
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,160
Speaker 5: And so it's important to keep conversations going and not

344
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,640
Speaker 5: just get off on your own little tangent and think

345
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,160
Speaker 5: that you're right. You are always right. That's what I

346
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,400
Speaker 5: love about you. You've never been wrong in any way.

347
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 5: I appreciate it.

348
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I appreciate you acknowledging that.

349
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,640
Speaker 5: I've known it my whole life. Every time you say something,

350
00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,800
Speaker 5: I'm like, yep, that's it.

351
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 6: Right.

352
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,840
Speaker 1: The last time I saw you, I bumped into you

353
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:03,680
Speaker 1: at Wimbledon.

354
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 5: Yeah.

355
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you were having a great time.

356
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,720
Speaker 5: I had had.

357
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,920
Speaker 1: So much fun tennis. I fucking love going to tennis.

358
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 1: I love day drinking, and I love socializing. Yes, and

359
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,560
Speaker 1: I love that tennis is so civilized, you know what.

360
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,160
Speaker 4: It's not like a.

361
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,360
Speaker 1: Rugby match or well, the golf that happened the Ryder

362
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 1: Cup was so embarrassing on America's behalf because people were screaming, noelling,

363
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:25,400
Speaker 1: that's golf.

364
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,440
Speaker 4: I don't watch golf.

365
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,880
Speaker 5: But also there's something about I think it's a collective

366
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,240
Speaker 5: silence of tennis, Like you're watching a game where there

367
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 5: are thousands of you watching and they're not saying, they're

368
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,760
Speaker 5: not you can't even hear them breathe when the serve happens,

369
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,640
Speaker 5: because they don't want to put off the player. And

370
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,640
Speaker 5: that is just like as someone who's done like a

371
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,640
Speaker 5: you know, a ton of theater when I was younger

372
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,840
Speaker 5: and just like been on a stage and had to

373
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,840
Speaker 5: like cry in a scene and had like crew talking

374
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,960
Speaker 5: someone opening chips. It's like an amazing thing when you've

375
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,240
Speaker 5: captured an audience and you just all are so respectful

376
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,440
Speaker 5: that you're going to be just so quiet. The quiet

377
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,600
Speaker 5: is just amazing, like communal energy. Everyone's focused in the same.

378
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,640
Speaker 1: Place, especially Wimbledon, because there's a level of decorum that

379
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,240
Speaker 1: supersedes like any of the other Grand Slams, because Wimbledon

380
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,680
Speaker 1: is like a little stuffy, but I love that kind

381
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 1: of stuff.

382
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,680
Speaker 4: It's not stuffy in a negative way.

383
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 1: No, it's fun.

384
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,880
Speaker 5: It's like pompous and ritual. And although a ginger lady,

385
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 5: a middle aged ginger lady apparently fainted this Wimbledon. She

386
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,960
Speaker 5: was in the overhead light of the sun and there

387
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,640
Speaker 5: wasn't enough I guess water brought to her. And of

388
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,960
Speaker 5: course everyone's text me like is it you were you

389
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,320
Speaker 5: taken out? Oh? I know, I was in the VIP bitch.

390
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,480
Speaker 5: I had a shade, a cannoby, a bull of my way.

391
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,160
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right. I saw you get after those cannabies.

392
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 1: She was like, is that a cannape? And I went

393
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 1: after it. She was in a different sweet came to

394
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,800
Speaker 1: see us in our suite or maybe we were in

395
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,560
Speaker 1: the same suite fire apart too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

396
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,160
Speaker 1: I loved it.

397
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 4: I loved it.

398
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:47,240
Speaker 1: How is your time in London?

399
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 5: Can I just go back to Cannapase? Love a CANape?

400
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 5: You know what? I'm not into the cheese and pineapple

401
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 5: skewer and triple layer dips. There's some things that just

402
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,760
Speaker 5: should never be food combos that should never be enjoyed together.

403
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,280
Speaker 5: And what Wimbledon does well if they don't mix flavors,

404
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,640
Speaker 5: it's like a strawberry cream or it's like a cucumber

405
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 5: and bread. It's like, keep it simple, people.

406
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like pineapple with anything, like I don't

407
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:14,240
Speaker 1: want pineapple mixed with hot food. No like no, no, no, no.

408
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 5: You just it's very different pineapple. No, that's cheese and

409
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 5: pineapple to skewer is a dry, cold, unpleasant, it's visually unattractive.

410
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:29,199
Speaker 5: It's it's very different to a melty, gooey you know.

411
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 5: I don't know right now. I just want to say, she's.

412
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 1: Always right, She's right.

413
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:36,479
Speaker 4: What are you cooking?

414
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:37,920
Speaker 1: Do you cook? You do?

415
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 5: I love to cook?

416
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,120
Speaker 4: What do you cook?

417
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:39,439
Speaker 6: Well?

418
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 5: At the moment, I'm big into what do I do

419
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,400
Speaker 5: at the moment? I mean, I'm a mom of three,

420
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,040
Speaker 5: so it's kind of like I get up and kind

421
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 5: of like sort my week out. So I freeze a

422
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,640
Speaker 5: couple of tomato sauces, I'll freeze a chicken stock. I'll

423
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 5: do things in advance, and then I'm just like simple,

424
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,200
Speaker 5: super simple like pastes me anything. I can cook anything. Okay.

425
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,640
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about being a mother,

426
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 1: Like what kind of mother do you like?

427
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 4: What do you think you're for? Power as a mom?

428
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,639
Speaker 4: Is I definitely as a mom?

429
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 5: I should say I definitely do not have a superpower?

430
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 7: You do?

431
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,440
Speaker 1: All women are super have superpowers? And do your kids

432
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 1: call you mom or mom?

433
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 5: Momsy or mom mom yeah, or mom yeah, no, mummy

434
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,040
Speaker 5: actually mummy, yeah.

435
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, Mummy like British.

436
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 5: Right, yeah, yeah, I think they is that British. I

437
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,399
Speaker 5: think that's more Australian, is it, Well, I think it's

438
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 5: British and Australia.

439
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, because everyone in America it's mom.

440
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,959
Speaker 5: Yeah. But what do you think I'm good at as

441
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 5: a mother?

442
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,520
Speaker 1: What do you think your strengths as a mother are?

443
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 5: And it's really interesting the Ussex. Obviously, all I think

444
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,560
Speaker 5: about the things that I regret when I go to

445
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,240
Speaker 5: bed at night, that I wish i'd handle differently. I

446
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,639
Speaker 5: think overall my strength is that I have tried very

447
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,800
Speaker 5: much to reinforce anything they do, to sort of align

448
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 5: it with you must feel really good about how you

449
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:49,439
Speaker 5: did this. You must be really proud of you. So

450
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,439
Speaker 5: they're not searching for external validation. They don't need Mummy

451
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 5: likes my picture, therefore my picture is good. No, I'm

452
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,760
Speaker 5: proud that I drew a picture, Therefore my picture is good.

453
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 5: I just try to sort of separate and create a

454
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 5: world in which that a they listen to the voice

455
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 5: of they have a beautiful relationship with themselves.

456
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:06,000
Speaker 6: Right.

457
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 5: Maybe my goal not saying it's a superpower. And then

458
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 5: my other superpower is maybe like I'm really good at

459
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 5: like switching off, like pretending that I can't hear anything,

460
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,720
Speaker 5: like just getting in the bath, like mam mad, I'm like,

461
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 5: I'm in the bath. And by the way, it's a

462
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 5: great technique because when they finally get to you, they've

463
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 5: resolved it. They've sorted out who has the TV remote,

464
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,320
Speaker 5: they know where that apple juice is. They didn't need

465
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 5: me to jump out of the bus, scamper downstairs find

466
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 5: everything and a lot. You know, what you don't do

467
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 5: for your kids, they do for themselves. But Russia.

468
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 1: So when you were a little girl, did you envision

469
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 1: yourself having three children?

470
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 5: I always wanted kids. I was a nanny when I

471
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 5: was seventeen for a three week old baby, and I

472
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 5: used to babysit my niece's when I was about, you know, twelve,

473
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 5: and so I always love kids. I've always loved kids.

474
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 5: I just always think like it sounds affable. When you

475
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 5: get to my age, I feel like I've met so

476
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 5: many amazing people. And not to say that everybody's really similar,

477
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 5: but you kind of realize it's you can kind of

478
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 5: predict someone's nature almost right away after meeting them, or

479
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,719
Speaker 5: at least what they're like. But a kid is like

480
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 5: it's like opening up a present. You have no idea

481
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 5: what's inside. They're just so original. They think in this

482
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 5: like totally unique, magical way. And I just love I

483
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 5: love their naivete and I love their kind of They

484
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,120
Speaker 5: just say the truth. They I find children amazing.

485
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, her face is like no.

486
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 1: And I like to hear mothers talk about loving being

487
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,879
Speaker 1: a mother. I think it's really important because and you

488
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 1: love their friends as well.

489
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 5: You have this like community of like become teenagers. You

490
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,640
Speaker 5: don't just have yours. They come home with like four

491
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 5: looking at the ground. It's like it's amazing.

492
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:48,159
Speaker 1: It's like, how do you handle social media with your kids?

493
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 5: I mean it's very difficult. That whole thing is just and.

494
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,200
Speaker 1: That's something that I like just don't understand how parents

495
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 1: can even deal with.

496
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 5: I mean, we all know the statistics. There's nothing I

497
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 5: can say that it's original on that. And we all

498
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 5: know that the benefits, the caaalistic benefits that are being

499
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 5: made from targeting women and their body images, and how

500
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,719
Speaker 5: the algorithms work and how they impact our self esteem,

501
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 5: and really what you can do is flag that. But

502
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 5: it's a fine line. If you isolate them completely, then

503
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 5: socially they're not necessarily in the same conversation as their mates,

504
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 5: and so then you're just basically creating a situation where

505
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 5: they can't really. I mean, they all have these platforms

506
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 5: where they arrange things and they meet up, but it's

507
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 5: terribly cruel, like you can see who your best friend is.

508
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 5: And I mean, I my personality would have not survived

509
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 5: social media as a kid.

510
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 1: Why do you handle social media as for yourself as

511
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 1: an adult in this industry?

512
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 5: I mean, my feelings do get hurt, Like I'll pop

513
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 5: on something and see everybody went somewhere and I wasn't there,

514
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 5: Or I do get a little bit of that, or

515
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 5: I see somebody and other actors out there doing something

516
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 5: and I'm like, oh my goodness, I haven't even showered yet.

517
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 5: It's three o'clock and someone's come out with a best

518
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 5: selling book and a like re brand and is now

519
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 5: like the ambassador for China.

520
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 1: Am I doing?

521
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 5: But I think ultimately you just got to just try

522
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 5: not to tune it out. I think just like at

523
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 5: the moment, there's just so much noise on that platform,

524
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 5: Like whoever has the most explosive opinion, whoever has the

525
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 5: most extreme hyperbole or uses the most like has the

526
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 5: like the wackiest opinion. It floats up, hits the top

527
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 5: of the algorithm and everyone sees it. So people are

528
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 5: motivated to be super loud about things that just like

529
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 5: we used to just like be chill over right now.

530
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,119
Speaker 5: That makes me feel really like anxious, So I'm not

531
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 5: on it that much, to be honest.

532
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good to taking the breaks from social media.

533
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,439
Speaker 4: Are like you just your level of happiness is and.

534
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,639
Speaker 1: Finally, immediately, exactly immediately, like I was with some girls

535
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 1: in Canada. I went to Taffino and I was I

536
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 1: was like, I just I'm so I was so stressed

537
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 1: about my fucking house and all the money out the

538
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 1: window and all.

539
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,200
Speaker 4: I know it sounds stupid, but it's.

540
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 1: Just it's just like I feel like I'm being robbed,

541
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,359
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like over and over

542
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: and over again, and that like no one really has

543
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 1: any respect for my mental well being, like the emotional

544
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 1: like everyone's like it's just a house, It's just a house.

545
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 4: I'm like, it's worse than that.

546
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: There's there's a grounding aspect that's missing, like you're you're groundless,

547
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 1: you're without anywhere to you know, to land to land.

548
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 5: Yeah. I really do agree with that. And I was

549
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 5: thinking the other day when I had a bit of

550
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 5: a rocky day, you know when you get jet lags

551
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 5: and you're awake in the middle of the night and

552
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 5: everything feels much worse than it is. And I did

553
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,959
Speaker 5: think I was trying to sort of ground myself and

554
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 5: ask myself, like where am I happy? Like, come on, Isla,

555
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 5: where are you happy? And I realized, like I did

556
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 5: circle back to when I am in my house, I'm

557
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 5: always happy.

558
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 4: Oh really in your house in London?

559
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I.

560
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 5: Make a home, but like wherever, like my things are

561
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 5: and my family is and I can make a cup

562
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,439
Speaker 5: of tea and I don't know, it's just something about that,

563
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,479
Speaker 5: So I get that i'd be really discongobulated to it's terrible.

564
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So how has been How has it been

565
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: living in London? Because you have a group of friends

566
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 1: here in la of course, and you have a group

567
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 1: of friends in London.

568
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 5: My English friends, So it's so great that you have

569
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,439
Speaker 5: friends everywhere. Well, I think there's something about when you

570
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 5: make a big switch in terms of like going from

571
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 5: being married and not being married, you are like naturally

572
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 5: you're just more drawn to people on it's hard to

573
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 5: sit with like smug married people when you're single.

574
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: It's like it's hard.

575
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 5: I just want to see you guys like, oh, honey,

576
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 5: do you need some block on? Like h no, So

577
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 5: I guess I'm now like my crew that I hang

578
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 5: out with in London. They're just a little more. They

579
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 5: have the same lifestyle that I do, their single moms

580
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,399
Speaker 5: and it's really nice and it's really it's a different

581
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 5: I still love my LA friends obviously, but they're away

582
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 5: and they're my ride or dies are really here. But

583
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 5: I am enjoying like finding you know, commonality with this

584
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 5: new group of women and they're great. They women have

585
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 5: like got me through the last two years. My friendships

586
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 5: have been just so important to me and more. And

587
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 5: I keep talking about female friendship with all my friends

588
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 5: and every woman I meet, and we're all on the

589
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 5: same page.

590
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think as you get older, the more you

591
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: realize how kind of useless men.

592
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 4: Because and how valuable women are.

593
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: You know, gay men are useful and there are some

594
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: young men out there that are a little bit more.

595
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 1: They've gotten the software update that we talk about, Like

596
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: you need a software update after fifty as a straight

597
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 1: white man, you do you need an update. You don't

598
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,439
Speaker 1: understand the way things are working. There's a shift happening,

599
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 1: and if you don't see it, then you're against us.

600
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 1: But it's just a coming of age kind of story

601
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: where you just realize how much more reliable women are,

602
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: how much more comforting women are, how much more insightful.

603
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 1: You know, you take something like, you know, we can

604
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: dissect something almost ad nauseum, but it's kind of fun

605
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 1: to dissect something and overanalyze the situation and get everyone's perspectives,

606
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: you know, like the way one person looks at something

607
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: is completely different. And instead of having like a flat reflection,

608
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: which is what a lot of men do, they kind

609
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 1: of just look at something and they're like, well, that's

610
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: brown and that's over there that I wouldn't think anything

611
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 1: more about it, And you're like, no, there's definitely more

612
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,920
Speaker 1: to I mean, I know personally, like I can overcomplicate things,

613
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, just for the sake of

614
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 1: kind of drama or conversation. But that's what being a

615
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,120
Speaker 1: woman is. Yeah, sometimes it's having over complicating things.

616
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 4: It's kind of and no one.

617
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 1: Gets women like other women, So I totally you're not

618
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: the first person to come on here and say, yeah,

619
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 1: a lot of women feel that way and it's very

620
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 1: booying during difficult time.

621
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, it's so it really is. I'm so grateful.

622
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: And the other nice thing is meeting new friends as

623
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 1: you get older. Yeah, Like it's funny how you can

624
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 1: constantly make.

625
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 5: At the beginning go hey, here's something about me. Like

626
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 5: sometimes you meet a new friend and they remember that

627
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 5: you have a new date work tomorrow, and they send

628
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 5: flowers and then they text you that it's one of

629
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 5: your kids birthday and you can just put the cabash

630
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,959
Speaker 5: on it straight away and go, you can inundate me

631
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 5: with this amazing stuff. But I'm so disorganized and busy

632
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 5: that it's likely that I'm going to drop the ball

633
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 5: on your birthday. And if you still want a friendship

634
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 5: with me, I'm here, but please don't be disillusioned. Like

635
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 5: I'm so open about what my strengths are in friendship now,

636
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 5: I'm just like I'm just up front. It's like almost

637
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 5: like dating, but with women like I just go, Okay,

638
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 5: this is what I'm great at, this is what I'm

639
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 5: not great at, and like I just don't. It's not

640
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 5: that same feeling that when I was younger my friendships,

641
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,959
Speaker 5: I was always like everybody remembered that we were supposed

642
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,959
Speaker 5: to do this, and I got the day wrong, and

643
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 5: you know all of that stuff right right right.

644
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: Well you have three children also, and yeah, anyone's expecting

645
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: that they're an idiot anyway, you know.

646
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 4: I like the idea.

647
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: I was like sending flowers the day of a new job.

648
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, who's doing that? No, people do.

649
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 5: That's amazing too. They're really thoughtful.

650
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 1: Turns out there are people out there. So tell me

651
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 1: about this movie. Now do you see me?

652
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 4: Now you don't?

653
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,160
Speaker 5: Yes, so little magic? We need magic?

654
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:34,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're also well I was going to say,

655
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: I mean you went to clown school or mind school,

656
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 1: so that's not magic, but in my mind it is.

657
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, my mind, I can see you could draw to

658
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 5: a conclusion the totally different.

659
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: Magicians are over there on that side of the room.

660
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 5: Well, let me help you out a little. They're very

661
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 5: different crafts and but they do perform a similar function,

662
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 5: Like acting. We're playing make believe, and there is that

663
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 5: suspension reality, and obviously what we love about magic is

664
00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 5: this like kind of conflict in beliefs, like here's something

665
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 5: that you know to be real, but then your eyes

666
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 5: are deceiving you and you're seeing something different. And I

667
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 5: think that conflict does create a kind of appetite to

668
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 5: watch our story and our stories full of great magic.

669
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 5: And I play Henley and.

670
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 4: The magic is real.

671
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 5: In the movie, we had world class magicians that came

672
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 5: and taught us everything. Obviously some of it's enhanced, but yeah,

673
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 5: we worked really hard on the magic.

674
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 2: Which, especially in the age of like AI and CG

675
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 2: and everything CGA, to have these like practical effects, it's

676
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 2: really exciting.

677
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 5: It is really exciting, and honestly, I really enjoyed this

678
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 5: movie just because it's like the story's good. I don't

679
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 5: know whether you guys feel this, but I just feel

680
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 5: everything I've seen on streamers and stuff lately, I'm just like,

681
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 5: the plot's not quite there. This is like somebody actually

682
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 5: wrote and crafted a plot that's genuinely like if you

683
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 5: heard it as a radio play, you'd be gripped. As

684
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 5: well as it's fun and it's like, yeah, pretty people

685
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 5: doing tricks. We've got new horsemen, these amazing kids. They're

686
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 5: so talented.

687
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 1: And did you work with some of the same people

688
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: that you worked with on the first lund same?

689
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 5: Now you see me cast Handy's back.

690
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: It's so sweet, isn't that fun? So work with the

691
00:28:59,120 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: same people, Like.

692
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, And by the way, we've all kind of become

693
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 5: like parodies of ourselves or like more extreme. You know

694
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 5: when people get older and they just get like become

695
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 5: a little more like a like an exaggerated Vergin version

696
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 5: of themselves life, like exaggerated.

697
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: Virgin I like that you become an exaggerated Virgin I wish.

698
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 5: But Dave is definitely like even more Dave and Jesse

699
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 5: and wood he's like so woody now like wood he

700
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 5: looks like he's playing.

701
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: Woody wood He is really I mean, Woody is really woody.

702
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: Anytime you meet that guy, you're just like, wow, you

703
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: are really yourself. Yeah, that's so funny. We'll take a

704
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: break and we'll be right back with Isla Fisher. And

705
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: we're back with Islan Fisher.

706
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 5: That was really so great.

707
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: We all just took a bath together. That's what we

708
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: do on our commercial breaks.

709
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 5: I braided your hair and then unbraided, and the kids

710
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:51,239
Speaker 5: did not bother us.

711
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 4: We take callers.

712
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 1: We're gusing advice on this podcast.

713
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 5: You guys should really together.

714
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: You do have your ship together? Our ship together?

715
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 5: Well, our first question.

716
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 2: This one's just an email that comes from antisocial mom.

717
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 5: Oh, dear Chelsea.

718
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 2: My daughter is nine and has an adorably close relationship

719
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 2: with her bff, who is also a fantastic kid. Her parents, however,

720
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: being around them is absolutely brutal. They're socially awkward. We

721
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 2: have less than nothing in common, and trying to hold

722
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 2: a conversation with them is actual torture. The girls often

723
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 2: request plates on the weekend, which is usually fine if

724
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 2: it's a drop off situation, but some playdates involve a

725
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 2: lot of bopping around and going to the beach, so

726
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 2: I feel like I really should be there to help out.

727
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 2: They've offered to take the girl's solo, but I know

728
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 2: the extra hands and eyes would be appreciated. My daughter's

729
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 2: friend also deals with anxiety, so I can't take the

730
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 2: girl solo myself, which would be way more fun because

731
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 2: she likes a parent to be close. I know this

732
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: sounds shitty, but you don't understand the gravity of their brutalness.

733
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: The girls have been friends for four years, and believe me,

734
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 2: I have tried. So should I just microtius mushrooms and

735
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 2: go on the plates? Should I let them take the

736
00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:58,680
Speaker 2: girls solo?

737
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 5: Ps? I love you and social mom.

738
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 6: I do.

739
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 1: This is another reason to not have children to deal

740
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: with other mothers. I mean, seriously, I don't know as

741
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: a mother, what would you What do you say to that?

742
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 5: Isila, I think nine's really old to be going on

743
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 5: a play date for an extra set of hands. I'm sorry, mom,

744
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 5: but like, you're not changing a diaper unless there's a

745
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 5: food allergy, unless there's a body of water, which the

746
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 5: beach sounds shady, But like, I'm pretty certain your daughter

747
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 5: can advocate for her self that if there's an issue,

748
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 5: she'll not want to go on the playdate again. I'd

749
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 5: be like, goodbye, goodbye, have a cocktail and stay home.

750
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, listen, if those people are probably

751
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: feeling the same exact way that you're feeling, if the

752
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 1: interaction is that awkward, yeah, that they're gonna be to welcome.

753
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: They're gonna be yeah, welcoming your absence.

754
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:42,479
Speaker 5: YEA.

755
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: So like if it's not a match. It's not a match.

756
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 4: Don't push it.

757
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,719
Speaker 1: And if they're friends, like that friendship is enough. That

758
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: friendship probably provides enough to that family. They're happy their

759
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: daughter has a friendship that she wants to spend time

760
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: with them. And if they're willing to take them to

761
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: these places, great, then do that. And if she has

762
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: anxiety and can't go with you, even more of a

763
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: is that they should be taking them place.

764
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 5: And also the daughter that's modeling not having anxiety and

765
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 5: having no issue with separation from her parents, there's a

766
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 5: great example on the daughter with anxiety. So you really

767
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 5: want to continue that because eventually they're headed in the

768
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 5: same direction that other shy goal will come out of

769
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 5: her shell and want to play date solo soon.

770
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also nine is too old to like why.

771
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 5: Are you a girl? I mean, if we're talking about

772
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 5: a boy, but a nine year old girl, you know?

773
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 4: All right?

774
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,959
Speaker 2: Well, our first caller is Nicole, She says, Dear Chelsea,

775
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 2: I've got big sis problems that go back to just

776
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 2: about the beginning of my lifetime and it has sucked hard.

777
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 2: I've only recently, after relearning to self soothe and healthy

778
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: ways become aware of just how much the bummer dynamics

779
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: between my sister and I have fucked shit up for

780
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 2: me big time. She's about a year older than me

781
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 2: and we're in our mid thirties. After a long phase

782
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 2: of numbing myself as an adult, I've come to realize

783
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 2: my sister's jealous, malicious and greedy energy still plays way

784
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: too large of a role in my life friendships, work, romance, family,

785
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 2: and I need big time relief from an asap. How

786
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 2: horrible is she? She would hit me when we were kids,

787
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: but more recently she named her daughter Collette. When I

788
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 2: told her I was honored she named her kid after me,

789
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 2: she laughed in my face and claimed she didn't. My

790
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 2: name is Nicole and it's a family name that goes

791
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 2: back generations. Clearly she'd like me to disappear and be

792
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 2: forgotten about. She's driven by sibling rivalry. But despite all this,

793
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 2: I love her. She's my sister. I've let go of

794
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 2: expecting our relationship to improve. Of course I still want that,

795
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: but I in no way have ever consented to her

796
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 2: rudely taking up so much space in my life. What's

797
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 2: a girl to do. I've confronted her about it, and

798
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 2: I've tried going to therapy with her. When I confronted her,

799
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 2: she called me crazy, and in therapy she acted manipulatively

800
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 2: and without any apparent interest in true healing, so I

801
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 2: ended it. Last I saw her and my beloved only

802
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: niece a nephew. Her gross Trump loving husband kicked me

803
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 2: out of their house for unapologetically being myself and she

804
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 2: yelled at me nonsense ego trip style on the porch.

805
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 5: This was a couple of years ago.

806
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 2: Since then, direct contact has included only happy birthday wishes

807
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 2: and some cool presents and notes to the kiddos. The

808
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 2: amount and frequency with which they are bullshit has rudely

809
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 2: interrupted in the good things I've had going on has

810
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 2: been baffling and enraging. I've gotten better at counting my blessings,

811
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 2: keeping on, keeping on all that jazz, but the loneliness

812
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 2: I feel in all this has been overwhelming. Any help

813
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 2: dealing with this nonsense is super appreciated, which is grassiest

814
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 2: for all the good lulls and your lovely work.

815
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 1: Nicole, Hi, Nicole, Hello nice, This is our special guest.

816
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 4: I love for sure.

817
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:23,760
Speaker 1: How do you bye?

818
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 5: Hi?

819
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 6: Seeing?

820
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 8: Oh that's so cool.

821
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:29,839
Speaker 7: It's it's total honored to speak with all y'all. Thanks

822
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 7: for having me.

823
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 1: Look how cozy you look with your drinking a cup

824
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 1: of tea and coffee tea.

825
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're gonna say, like whiskey.

826
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 1: I was like, even better. You look like you're in a.

827
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 4: Very warm and cozy place.

828
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:42,760
Speaker 5: Yeah.

829
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, I've got a sweet little mountain home up here,

830
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 7: and autumn weather is rolling in and it's getting a

831
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 7: getting to be sweater time.

832
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 4: That's cute. I like that time of year for you

833
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 4: and for me.

834
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 1: Well, your sister sounds like she's probably she has a

835
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: lot of her own issues that she probably has to

836
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 1: sort out. So is there any way for you to

837
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: kind of just limit your exposure to her?

838
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:06,839
Speaker 7: Definitely? I mean I have been at the point of

839
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 7: limiting contact to just happy Birthday once a year from

840
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 7: my end, and there's been nothing from her to me

841
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 7: for years.

842
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 5: Anyways, wait, since the Trump started Trump. So after the

843
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 5: Trump fight on the porch, she then that's when you

844
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 5: guys cut off contact. Then you get you send the

845
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 5: birthday card and some gifts to the kid, and she

846
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 5: doesn't reciprocate.

847
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 7: Well, one, it wasn't a I don't have a Trump

848
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 7: fight with her. I think she's actually pretty disgusted by

849
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 7: all that. But yeah, before the fight on the porch,

850
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 7: you know, I tried to go to therapy with her.

851
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 8: That didn't work.

852
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 7: She hadn't reached out to me for anything other than

853
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 7: maybe a happy birthday too for years and then yeah, sorry, yeah,

854
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 7: you're right. Since then, ooh, this a lot, excuse me then,

855
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 7: you know, since then, it's been me just saying, you know,

856
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 7: happy birthday to my sister and sending her kiddo's presence

857
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 7: for their birthdays.

858
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 2: Nicole, can I ask you why do you think that

859
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 2: she's sort of like taken up so much space of

860
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 2: your mental space or emotional space, especially now while you

861
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 2: guys aren't in contact.

862
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:28,240
Speaker 7: Well, it bothers me and it's been hard to sort

863
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 7: of rebuild after super bummer losses and stuff like that,

864
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 7: rebuild like the happy you know, my happy garden, the

865
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 7: the you know, cool parts of my life to better

866
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 7: distract myself with. Though I have been making progress with it,

867
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 7: I'm just you know, like one, she's my sister, my

868
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 7: only sister.

869
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 8: I love her, like.

870
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 7: I'm not banking on our relationship getting better, but of course,

871
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 7: like there's no way for me to.

872
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 8: Like totally lose hope about it.

873
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,439
Speaker 7: And I guess maybe another reason has to do with

874
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 7: like her having the only kiddos in my family and

875
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:15,319
Speaker 7: on her husband's thend too, So I think she's very

876
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 7: much got like the generous, cool old people in our

877
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 7: families and just anyone. You know, we all love kids.

878
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:27,280
Speaker 7: We all want to see them happy and well supported

879
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 7: and stuff like that.

880
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,359
Speaker 8: So yeah, that probably has a lot to do with it.

881
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: I think that there's a loving kindness of meditation you

882
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: can do for people who wronged you, you know what.

883
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 1: There's that loving where you're sending them love. You're sending

884
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 1: them happiness and safety and all of the things that

885
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,479
Speaker 1: you would wish upon someone you really did love, which

886
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,319
Speaker 1: is you do love your sister, You want you know,

887
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 1: good things for her. It clearly interferes with your own

888
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,879
Speaker 1: sanity and your own peacefulness to be interacting with her.

889
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: So I would take whatever break that she's giving you

890
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 1: as a gift, like to reframe it in your mind

891
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 1: as like, this is a gift that has been given me.

892
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,240
Speaker 1: To protect yourself from more hurt and more pain coming

893
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: from them. The kiddos aside, you can keep sending them

894
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 1: gifts and hopefully maintain some sort of relationship with them,

895
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 1: although that's all you can really do without, you know,

896
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,399
Speaker 1: going and exposing yourself to that family. And I'm sure

897
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: there I don't know are they is he is the

898
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 1: kid old enough? Is it a boy or a girl

899
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 1: to be alone with?

900
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 8: I love that advice, Thank you. Yeah, that is a

901
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 8: great way to look at it.

902
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, the kiddos are the oldest ones, just turned nine.

903
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,760
Speaker 1: Right, so you're not going to be spending time alone

904
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: with them.

905
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 8: I can't steal him yet. I do look forward to

906
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 8: those days though.

907
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just would really focus on actually trying to

908
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: just send positive vibes her way without contacting her like that,

909
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 1: there's nothing positive that she's bringing to your life thus far,

910
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: Like it looks like you have like a really cozy

911
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 1: retreat that you have set up for yourself. And some

912
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: of the biggest insults in our lives come from people

913
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: who do not deserve our ire, Like they just don't

914
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: get it, Like you don't get my anger, you know

915
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: what I mean, when somebody really hurts you, they do

916
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 1: not get your they don't get the benefit of my pain.

917
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 1: And I think that's something that you have to like

918
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: imprint on your mind, write it down and put it

919
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: on your fridge, like this person isn't thinking about what's

920
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 1: best for you, and so for you to be preoccupied

921
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: with it isn't helping you move along. You should be

922
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: focusing on the things that make you happy, whatever your

923
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 1: hobbies are, whatever you're into, double down on all of that,

924
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 1: but always sending her love and light, like that's all

925
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: you can do to be a good person and to

926
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: keep your side of the street clean. But just take

927
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 1: the absence of her in your life as a sign

928
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: that the universe is protecting you from being involved with her,

929
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: because it sounds like you've had some painful experiences with her.

930
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:52,959
Speaker 4: Wouldn't you agree, Isila?

931
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 1: When somebody like somebody wrongs you, you know, whether it's

932
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 1: a family member or someone you don't know well or

933
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 1: a really good friend, and they don't get your ire,

934
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 1: they don't get it because it's not worth it, and

935
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 1: I've already proven themselves that they haven't earned it. So

936
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: I would just write that down and write down your

937
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 1: feelings around it, and keep it somewhere close so you

938
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 1: can check in with yourself and remind yourself of the

939
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 1: reasons why you're better off not having her in your

940
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 1: life in that way. Yes she's your sister, Yes you'll

941
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 1: always love her, but you don't have to expose yourself

942
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: to her.

943
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 5: And yes, be flattered by the fact that she's I

944
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:33,479
Speaker 5: guess engaging in sibling rivalry. It means she's as much

945
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 5: as her life looks maybe from the outside, to have

946
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 5: tacked a few more of the kind of boxes with

947
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 5: the kids and being like married or whatever. That like,

948
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 5: clearly your family value those, you know, that doesn't prevent

949
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 5: her from probably looking at your life cozied up in

950
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 5: what looks like the cutest free people tan hoodie or whatever.

951
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 5: She's probably looking at that very snuggle muffin going I

952
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 5: wish I was having a tea, not like on my

953
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,839
Speaker 5: third round of Monopoly with some kid.

954
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:01,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

955
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's probably looking at you and like, oh, wow,

956
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 1: you're free. You didn't marry a drump supporter. Look how

957
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 1: free you are. Look at your freedom of choice. Yeah,

958
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: look at you get getting home to be in a

959
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 1: peaceful place where you don't have to listen to that nonsense.

960
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 7: You know, I'd love to share this with her. I'd

961
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,920
Speaker 7: love to help her find that own freedom for herself.

962
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 7: But you're totally right. I can only do that from

963
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 7: a distance at this point, you know.

964
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 1: And also, if you change your expectations, you're going to

965
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: be less disappointed.

966
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 5: That is so true. That is the greatest piece of advice.

967
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:36,800
Speaker 5: I've been trying that lately.

968
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:37,359
Speaker 8: Yeah.

969
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 5: Yeah.

970
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 2: One thing that helped me recently when I was in

971
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 2: a similar situation was and I don't know exactly who

972
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 2: this would be for you. For me, it was my acupuncturist,

973
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 2: and she does some energy work as well, but she

974
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 2: actually did a cord cutting ceremony for me with some

975
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 2: people that I was having a difficult time with, and

976
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 2: it really genuinely helped. It was something I had been

977
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,919
Speaker 2: talking to my therapist about for months and months and months,

978
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 2: and having the sort of like severing the energetic tie

979
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 2: was sort of the last piece I needed. I needed

980
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 2: the therapy too, but this sort of helped me feel

981
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 2: a lot better about it and just detach from sort

982
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 2: of the results of what was going on in the

983
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 2: relationship and just be able to sort of detach.

984
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 5: I do also think if you have tried distance for

985
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 5: a period of time and it's not working, and you

986
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 5: do really love your sister, it's you maybe be open

987
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 5: a little to trying another tactic, like I know you

988
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 5: tried that. You mentioned you did therapy, but maybe it

989
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 5: is worth having another conversation because sometimes like things don't

990
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,359
Speaker 5: work and we just get stuck in a rut and

991
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 5: you only have one sister.

992
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 1: Sorry, you just told me.

993
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 4: I'm always right.

994
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 1: I can't lower your chair, please, I mean I can't.

995
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 1: I don't understand what she's even talking about right now.

996
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

997
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 5: No, I just feel like guilty if I've got two

998
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 5: daughters and they're like best friends right now, so I

999
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 5: just couldn't help that you don't have a sister though, right,

1000
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 5: I don't. That's probably I love my Yeah, yeah, I'm

1001
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 5: very close to my friend.

1002
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 7: If you guys want to go intervene and help her out,

1003
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 7: that would I'm totally.

1004
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 6: It's hard.

1005
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 1: You should go see if she'll call in with you,

1006
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,479
Speaker 1: and then we'll do a three way.

1007
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 4: But we don't give solicit advice. We actually need the

1008
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 4: people to call in because I.

1009
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 1: Mean, yeah, we can't solicit.

1010
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:24,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, we need to be solicited.

1011
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,280
Speaker 8: But I'm a total fan of that happening.

1012
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 7: That would be great personally, I feel at this point

1013
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 7: i've exhausted all my options, Like it's I've exhausted myself

1014
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 7: exhausting my options like multiple times.

1015
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like it.

1016
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 7: Thanks for the great advice though, right down, okay, cutting ceremony.

1017
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, look it up.

1018
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: See if there's somebody in your area that could do

1019
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 1: that for you. That sounds like a great idea.

1020
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's some energy worker in your mountaintown that

1021
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 2: will no know what that.

1022
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 4: Is for sure.

1023
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 8: Yeah yeah right, I love that.

1024
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,839
Speaker 1: Thanks Nicole, Thanks to call take care. Thank you.

1025
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 8: Yeah, thanks for rocking.

1026
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 1: No problem. I so contradictory. I just welcome to my life.

1027
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 5: I know why them a mess?

1028
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 2: No, you're not.

1029
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,879
Speaker 5: I just pictured like if she continues on down this path,

1030
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 5: don't you realize? Like how do you heal if you

1031
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 5: just cut somebody off?

1032
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 1: But if somebody's an unwilling participant, what are you supposed

1033
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 1: to do? Like if someone's not willing, like she's tried,

1034
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:27,399
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like if you give

1035
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 1: your effort, like you can't be terrible.

1036
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 5: Though, I'll be loyal for I just go and go

1037
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 5: and go. I'm just like, make it work, make up,

1038
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 5: I know, But.

1039
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 2: Being in this sort of like you know, difficult situation

1040
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 2: with her sister. It's like it almost takes up more

1041
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 2: mental space for you because you're like, I've cut them off.

1042
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 5: This is my boundary, and you think about it all

1043
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 5: the time.

1044
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,880
Speaker 2: Whereas if you can get to the point where just

1045
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 2: you're neutral, even if you're not having much conversation with

1046
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 2: them or re engaging in relationship, it sort of just

1047
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 2: turns off that noise, at least for mentad.

1048
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 5: Anyway, I do I agree with you? Yeah, I think

1049
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 5: cut the cord. Then name your baby after her.

1050
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 4: That sounds like a great idea. Will you edit our

1051
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:01,799
Speaker 4: initial response to this one?

1052
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 5: Well, I'm just gonna cut it all right. Well, we

1053
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,800
Speaker 5: have some other badly behaved parents here. So Kelly is

1054
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 5: our next caller.

1055
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 2: She says, Dear Chelsea, my husband has a big family

1056
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 2: that's very close and his parents love getting everyone together

1057
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:17,879
Speaker 2: as often as they can.

1058
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:19,760
Speaker 4: He sounds annoying already.

1059
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm falling for devoulstre He has three sisters and

1060
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 2: we all have kids now, so the gatherings have gotten

1061
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 2: larger and of course a bit more chaotic with that

1062
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 2: many people and kids involved. One sister in law has

1063
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 2: three kids eleven and under her style of parenting is

1064
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 2: well non existent. It's making the family get together as

1065
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 2: completely miserable, to the point where I don't want to

1066
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 2: even attend family parties, or if I do attend, it's

1067
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 2: making me want to drink heavily, and I'm trying to

1068
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 2: cut back these days.

1069
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 5: But that's a whole other issue. The kids have issues,

1070
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 5: that's just.

1071
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 2: Their nature, and obviously that's not their fault to be

1072
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 2: born that way. Anger issues possible ADHD. The problem is

1073
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: these issues are not being diagnosed, so it's not being

1074
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 2: addressed properly.

1075
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 5: Then there's the nurture side of it.

1076
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,480
Speaker 2: Kids are totally fairal I'll admit I micromanage my kids

1077
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 2: and I'm working on stepping back some. But her kids

1078
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 2: are not being guided at all or raised at all.

1079
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,760
Speaker 2: The TV's on all day long, they eat crap snacks

1080
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 2: all day, they have no respect for adults, and they

1081
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 2: wander off, kick and scream when they don't get their way.

1082
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 5: The list goes on and on. This summer, at a

1083
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 5: family reunion, one of.

1084
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 2: My sister in law's kids started chasing the three other

1085
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,360
Speaker 2: cousins with an aluminum bat, angry, yelling and ready to

1086
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 2: swing if she could catch them all because she didn't

1087
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 2: want to be splashed in the pool. I don't see

1088
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 2: change coming from the parents anytime soon. They're oblivious to

1089
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:34,319
Speaker 2: the fact that their children are in absolute embarrassment. I

1090
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 2: need your advice. Am I allowed to say something? Is

1091
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 2: it my place since I'm just the sister in law?

1092
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,359
Speaker 2: Or should I just distance myself from these events where

1093
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 2: they're in attendance?

1094
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 5: Thanks?

1095
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: Kelly, Hi, Kelly, Hi, this is our special guest, Isla Fishery.

1096
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,399
Speaker 6: Kelly, I'm so excited to be on the show. Thanks

1097
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 6: for taking my letter.

1098
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: Oh you're welcome. I would probably Well, you're a parent,

1099
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 1: so I let you go first on this one about

1100
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: parenting other people's kids.

1101
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 5: Like the kid with the bat? How old was the ali?

1102
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 5: How old was that little one with the bat?

1103
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 6: Ten years old? Chasing really really mad and very angry.

1104
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 6: And let me ask, do.

1105
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 5: You feel like, because what are the real impacts on you?

1106
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 5: Is it more that they're modeling to your kids behavior

1107
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 5: that therefore that could lead them astray? Because I can't

1108
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 5: work out like you could just obviously. I mean, I

1109
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 5: have come from a really big family and all my

1110
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 5: brothers have loads of kids, and so everybody parents in

1111
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 5: my family super differently, but we we have like a

1112
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 5: rule where you know, we're allowed to parent each other's kids,

1113
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 5: but we're all kind of pretty chill, so like no

1114
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,399
Speaker 5: one really gets stuck in unless the stakes are high

1115
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:41,760
Speaker 5: and there's like a knife to a head or someone's

1116
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 5: like hanging in a garage or drowning in a dog bowl.

1117
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 5: No one really. But I guess my feeling is for you, Like,

1118
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 5: it's interesting that this is like provoking something within you.

1119
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 5: It makes me wonder whether you it's more that it's

1120
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 5: a mirror back to your own style of parenting, which

1121
00:47:55,680 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 5: you're worried maybe either to too tense or or is

1122
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 5: it more that you're it's the other thing that you

1123
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 5: think that this like motley crue of you know, this

1124
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 5: gang of as they sound whatever, are going to just

1125
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 5: make your kids derail and you'll be lose all control.

1126
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 6: Right Well, thankfully they do live farther away so we

1127
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 6: only see them a few times a year. But it's

1128
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 6: that it's that the parents don't ever chip in, like

1129
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 6: I agree the village and yes, if you see another

1130
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 6: child about to get hurt or maybe not being super

1131
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,920
Speaker 6: nice to the other one, yes you all step in.

1132
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 6: You all say something. I don't mind if someone corrects

1133
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 6: my children, but these parents, I would be raising the

1134
00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 6: kids if I stepped in. Oh, it's just not like

1135
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 6: I don't want to. I have my own kids to

1136
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:45,799
Speaker 6: take care of them.

1137
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 7: You know.

1138
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 6: It's just it's a difficult situation. No one says anything.

1139
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 6: Everyone thinks it's a problem, but no one's saying anything.

1140
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 5: Oh, that's so frustrating. I feel the rage.

1141
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is frustrating.

1142
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 5: I mean I get so angry hearing that. I always

1143
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 5: say what I think. I've got idhds. So it's bad.

1144
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: If everyone feels that way, then you guys should all

1145
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,360
Speaker 1: band together and tell them that there are new rules

1146
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 1: when you guys come. They when you have these trips,

1147
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: it's only twice a year, ye to mention. So if

1148
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: they can't follow those rules, then they don't shouldn't come.

1149
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 1: And if you guys are all, if you guys are

1150
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 1: all on the same page, you just make sure there's

1151
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 1: a list of things. You don't even have to direct

1152
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 1: it towards them. You should say before the vacation, here

1153
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: are the list of behaviors that we're not willing to

1154
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,360
Speaker 1: put up with. This is These are the new rules

1155
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: moving forward as combined families. However, many children are you

1156
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 1: guys have together, which is how many.

1157
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 6: In the immediate family? Probably nine kids?

1158
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:41,239
Speaker 1: Great? Perfect reason, yeah, perfect reason to make a list.

1159
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 1: And these are the acceptable behaviors. If and when anything

1160
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 1: outside of this happens, you won't be invited back. And

1161
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,440
Speaker 1: if you don't think you can, and it's not directed

1162
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 1: at them, this is to all of you. You know,

1163
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 1: somebody puts the letter out and this is to all

1164
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:55,839
Speaker 1: of you guys, so that they're not being targeted because

1165
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: it's not cool. It's really not your place to tell

1166
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: somebody else how to parent, you know what I mean,

1167
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 1: It really isn't it's not helpful. But if there's a

1168
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 1: set of rules that aren't being followed, then they can

1169
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 1: choose to not participate, you know, And and then you

1170
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 1: have a reason to call them out. If they do

1171
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:13,439
Speaker 1: choose to come and break those rules and their kids

1172
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 1: are one of them's running around with an aluminum bat,

1173
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 1: then you have every right to go whoa, whoa, whoa.

1174
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 1: We just saw what's going to be acceptable behavior and

1175
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 1: what's not going to be acceptable behavior. But you have

1176
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: to get everybody on the same page and all the

1177
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,880
Speaker 1: other families, or your other option is for you to

1178
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 1: opt out of that vacation and not go.

1179
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,799
Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's funny. In your books you've mentioned the

1180
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 6: ground rules for your vacations and stuff. That is a

1181
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 6: good idea.

1182
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:38,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, exact, I was going to refer you to my

1183
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:40,879
Speaker 1: last book. I wrote a bud letter to my whole

1184
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: family with every these are the reason.

1185
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 5: I'm doing this is the greatest thing I've ever heard.

1186
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 1: I'll send you the letter. You don't even have to

1187
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,800
Speaker 1: write one. You can just copy and paste mine. It's perfect.

1188
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 1: I mean, people send it to me all this tell

1189
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: tell me all the time, they send it to the families.

1190
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 1: But it's true. Like I stopped going on vacation with

1191
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 1: my family members who didn't want to bide by those rules,

1192
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: then I'm not I'm not paying for your vacation. Then

1193
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: I'll go on vacation with my own friends. I don't

1194
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: want to go on vacation with fucking children anyway.

1195
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 4: You know, what do you think you're doing here?

1196
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:12,040
Speaker 1: Like, seriously, I wanted kids to drink my alcohol. Then yeah,

1197
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 1: if you're running a fucking campsite, I mean, honestly, but

1198
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: I think you should try that first, try to get

1199
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 1: everyone on board, just as more of a general set

1200
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 1: of rules for everyone, for all of your kids, that

1201
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: it's acceptable to intervene if there's going to be violence,

1202
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 1: or if there's danger or if somebody you know, like

1203
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 1: we want to have each other's backs within this like

1204
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,879
Speaker 1: small community family that we have. It's only twice a year.

1205
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 1: It's not hard to follow rules twice a year. And

1206
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: see if that makes a difference.

1207
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, that sounds good.

1208
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:43,439
Speaker 2: I do want to nitpick about one little thing here too,

1209
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 2: because in your letter you refer a lot to the

1210
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 2: sister in law. But assuming that both parents are in

1211
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 2: the picture, correct, they have a dad too, and so

1212
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 2: make sure that these rules are not just directed to

1213
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 2: the moms that they are.

1214
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 5: Both parents are included and blamed.

1215
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 6: Right, are both so unaware? And Yeah, it's insane how

1216
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 6: much they don't pay attention. I think they'd be like,

1217
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 6: what are you guys talking about? If anyone said anything.

1218
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just remember, like the thing that people don't

1219
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 1: listen to is when they're judged. When you tell somebody this,

1220
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 1: I can't believe you did this. This isn't how you

1221
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 1: do it. I'm you know. That doesn't help anybody blossom.

1222
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: It's when you share that helps people. You know, when

1223
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 1: you share this is oh, this is I've you almost

1224
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 1: like want to put the problem back on yourself, like

1225
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 1: you're dealing it with your children, which is fictional. That

1226
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like what's what's happening, but it's almost like

1227
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,399
Speaker 1: you want a position it that way, Like I don't

1228
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: want my kids to be out of control when they're

1229
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,320
Speaker 1: around all of their friends. I want them to have manners.

1230
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 1: I want them to look every adult in the eye.

1231
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 1: I want them to say please and thank you, like

1232
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 1: you're you have a set of rules for your family,

1233
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 1: and that that's a great set of rules for a

1234
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 1: group trip.

1235
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 4: It's not about.

1236
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 1: Shaming them or saying, you know how how they're not

1237
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 1: paying attention, how unaware they are. It's more about how

1238
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 1: you want to lift the standards up for your own family.

1239
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:01,839
Speaker 5: Oh I love that.

1240
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, those are all good approach ideas.

1241
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:07,720
Speaker 1: Okay, so yeah, get on that and see what happens.

1242
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 1: Maybe you'll get a different result.

1243
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 6: Well that sounds good. I appreciate it.

1244
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 4: Okay, wonderful.

1245
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling out.

1246
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 6: Kellykay, Thanks everyone.

1247
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 1: Bye bye Eyler. How did you and your brothers come

1248
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: up with that. Did you guys agree that you were

1249
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,320
Speaker 1: going to be able to parent your own children?

1250
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:24,800
Speaker 5: No, we just sort of, I think because it was staggered,

1251
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 5: people gave birth at different times and so just because

1252
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 5: it's practical too. And the sisters in law are really

1253
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 5: cool and there's not many egos in my family, so like,

1254
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 5: no one's going to care and how dare you and

1255
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:38,919
Speaker 5: say that? I don't know, like we're all pretty chill.

1256
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:42,239
Speaker 5: That's nice, yeah, yeah, but I have to say, like

1257
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 5: we do let our kids misbehave, like we're not like

1258
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 5: a French family. If you can't, you would definitely not

1259
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:48,200
Speaker 5: want us on holiday with you.

1260
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 1: But maybe I would, and maybe I would. At least

1261
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 1: that would at least be real and in my face,

1262
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:55,240
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Not somebody likes she's stealing

1263
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 1: alcohol and then shoving it under a rental house, you know,

1264
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: like empty bottles of beer under a rental house that

1265
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, are you kidding me? No respect for other

1266
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: people's property. I mean that was many years ago, by

1267
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 1: the way, so that's not fair to say. But actually

1268
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,200
Speaker 1: I have plenty of recent stories too. Okay, we're going

1269
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 1: to be right back and to wrap things up with

1270
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 1: Isla Fisher, and we're back to say goodbye to Isla Fisher.

1271
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 5: I love you, I love you.

1272
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:24,879
Speaker 6: Nice.

1273
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,760
Speaker 1: The movie is called Now You See Me, Now You Don't.

1274
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 1: It's the third installment, but the second installment for Isla.

1275
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 1: And then the other movie.

1276
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 5: Is called SPA Weekend, SPA Weeken, Spa Weekend. And I

1277
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 5: have a movie called J Kelly Out. But I just

1278
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 5: have a little Kelly, J Kelly.

1279
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:41,800
Speaker 1: That's no, I'm just a little one, but supposed to

1280
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: be incredible.

1281
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 5: It's great, have you know, Ambach, I haven't say the

1282
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 5: latest cut. No, I'm excited. I'm excited. So I've had

1283
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 5: fun and I'm I'm hoping everyone comes to see this one.

1284
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:53,760
Speaker 5: I think it's uh, it ticks all the boxes.

1285
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad that you're having such a good time

1286
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 1: working and I'm glad that you're having such a fun life.

1287
00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:58,319
Speaker 5: Thank you.

1288
00:54:58,400 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 7: I am.

1289
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: And you're an independent woman and you're thriving with your

1290
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:05,799
Speaker 1: new life and life and I just love it and

1291
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 1: I love seeing you.

1292
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 5: Always text you when you come to London, Nice.

1293
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 4: I will, I'll text you.

1294
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: And Stella, Stella, this episode's for you. I just announced

1295
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,720
Speaker 1: all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.

1296
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, So go

1297
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: get your tickets now. If you want good seats and

1298
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 1: you want to come see me perform, I will be

1299
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 1: on the High and Mighty Tour.

1300
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 5: Do you want advice from Chelsea?

1301
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 2: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find

1302
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 2: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

1303
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered

1304
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 2: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure

1305
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 2: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com