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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that finally found his niche in

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Speaker 1: the cosmetic surgery world. But for animals, offering rhinoplasty to

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Speaker 1: insecure bottle nosed dolphins to make them more.

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Speaker 2: Bodily say they want more of it, I mean the name.

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Speaker 1: He also has a great rate on bleached blowholes too,

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Speaker 1: if you're wanting someone out too. But sign up now

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Speaker 1: with Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a laser and those other flipper clippers just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first Laser story is out of Convenience store Central.

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Speaker 1: You probably heard this already because it's been everywhere. But

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Speaker 1: seven to eleven recently announced a new sparkling water that

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Speaker 1: tastes like hot dogs.

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Speaker 2: Is that on the list of things we don't want?

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Speaker 1: There's a photo of the can that's circulating on social

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Speaker 1: media right now. It's supposed to taste like one of

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Speaker 1: their big but in carbonated liquid form.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. It says house and Miracles on it,

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Speaker 2: but I would call this the opposite of that.

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Speaker 1: The press release says that they partnered with a brand

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Speaker 1: called Miracle Seltzer.

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Speaker 3: Four different flavors.

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Speaker 1: They have lemon, lime, green apple, sweet orange, and hot Dog.

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Speaker 4: This series is supposed to be like on a hot

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Speaker 4: sunny day, you can sip this and it's like you're

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Speaker 4: eating a hot dog.

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Speaker 2: I think it's just supposed to get more buzz to

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Speaker 2: talk about the other three flavors.

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Speaker 1: True, they're calling it a daring flavor that pushes the

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Speaker 1: boundaries of flavor innovation and something that's sure to delight

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Speaker 1: even the most adventurous of palettes.

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Speaker 2: Well, and it's as natural as the hot dogs themselves.

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Speaker 1: So have we really fallen so far as a society

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Speaker 1: that we're now drinking hot dog water?

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Speaker 3: Come on, here's where I think Maybe not.

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Speaker 2: Why you think Perryon is doing it soon?

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Speaker 1: Because they say the three other flavors are available right now,

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Speaker 1: but more details on the hot dog one is coming

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Speaker 1: out next Monday, and their press release doesn't mention next

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Speaker 1: Monday is April Fool's Day.

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Speaker 2: Icy look like a joke.

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Speaker 3: Let's hope it's all just a big joke. Maybe maybe not.

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Speaker 2: Or maybe the joke will be on us and it's real.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll see this.

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Speaker 1: Next Laser story is out of Michigan preparations for an

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Speaker 1: Easter egg hunt at a Michigan elementary school one.

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Speaker 3: Of the off the rails recently.

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Speaker 1: Thirty six year old father and his female partner were

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Speaker 1: there to help hide the eggs when they got into

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Speaker 1: an argument.

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Speaker 4: Hey nobody, that's not nice.

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Speaker 1: Escalated quickly as the man accused his wife of making

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Speaker 1: it way.

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Speaker 3: Too easy for the Valley View Elementary kids.

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Speaker 2: I will say, any of those like public egg hunt things,

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Speaker 2: they just like throw them on the ground. Know, I

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Speaker 2: hate that it's.

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Speaker 4: Already bright pink, like everyone.

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Speaker 2: Can see it.

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Speaker 1: Well, it was nine to fifteen am, and they were

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Speaker 1: under a lot of stress since the hunt was.

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Speaker 3: Set to start in just fifteen minutes.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so just throw on the ground at this point, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: who cares?

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Speaker 1: And that's what an Another family member stepped in to

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Speaker 1: stop the couple from arguing anymore, and shockingly, the dad

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Speaker 1: pulled out a knife and stabbed the guy.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, an egg.

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Speaker 1: Somebody that wants to get the most eggs, that's trueers.

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Speaker 1: The police were called and the father was taken to

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Speaker 1: jail for aggravated assault. Oh wow, so the background checks

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Speaker 1: on your volunteer paperwork at the elementary school aren't really

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Speaker 1: working out? The victim was treated and is expected to

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Speaker 1: make a full recovery. As for the egg hunt, word

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Speaker 1: is the kids were able to find all the eggs

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Speaker 1: in less than six minutes, which may mean maybe it

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Speaker 1: was too easy and maybe this guy was right for

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Speaker 1: stabbing him. Somebody has to stand up for the integrity

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Speaker 1: of easter right now.

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Speaker 4: Maybe they saw a guy holding a knife and they're like,

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Speaker 4: let's get these eggs and get out.

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Speaker 1: Of herey text in seven eighty five nine two. If

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Speaker 1: you believe he was right for getting the stab him

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Speaker 1: stab for justice texted.

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Speaker 4: Inby I got an egg that has.

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Speaker 2: Some blood on it.

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Speaker 1: This next lazer shows out of food news. McDonald's will

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Speaker 1: soon be joining forces with a popular donut brand to

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Speaker 1: bring a tasty favorite to locations nationwide diabetes flaring up by.

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Speaker 3: The end of twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: To go alongside their Miccafe beverages, the fast food chain

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Speaker 1: will also be selling Krispy Cream donuts.

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Speaker 4: And it's one of those things where it's like, how

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Speaker 4: have you not been doing this for years?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, But like here's my question. Are they going to

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Speaker 2: be warm? Because when you get them, like when they're

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Speaker 2: off the conveyor bell at Krispy Kreme unbelievable. You get

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Speaker 2: them a couple hours later and they're.

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Speaker 4: Like, you're actually kind of right.

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Speaker 2: She's right.

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Speaker 3: It's like a cloud com.

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Speaker 1: It makes me want to stab you, so bring my

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Speaker 1: work back. Three of Krispy Cream's popular flavors. Three of

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Speaker 1: Krispy Cream's popular favors are going to be delivered fresh

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Speaker 1: to Mickey D's Daily, including original glaze, Chocolate Iced with sprinkles,

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Speaker 1: and chocolate.

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Speaker 3: Iced What sorry the stabbing thing.

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Speaker 2: It's too funny about you? What is wrong with you?

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Speaker 3: The volts are coming in.

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Speaker 1: Everyone wants me to stand No, no chocolate iced cream filled.

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Speaker 1: The doughnuts are going to be sold individually or in

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Speaker 1: boxes of.

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Speaker 2: Six, so you can I'm sorry, I'm living a Jose

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Speaker 2: saying like a dessert? What donut? Is it like a dessert? Breakfast?

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Speaker 1: The doughnuts will be sold individually or in boxes of six.

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Speaker 1: So if you can wash all those down with a

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Speaker 1: large vanilla shake and three sausage and eggs mcmuffins two,

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Speaker 1: then you've got your balanced diet and.

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Speaker 2: You begin to be so busy in the driver now

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Speaker 2: already more than it's going to be so busy at

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Speaker 2: the cardiologist is.

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Speaker 1: Of course, food bloggers have already gotten on board the

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Speaker 1: mashup train for a possible monstrosity that could include an

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Speaker 1: original glazed wedged in between two mickfish blaze.

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Speaker 2: Breakfast.

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Speaker 3: Is that tartar, sauce or cream? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: The announcement follows a successful test that one hundred and

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Speaker 1: sixty McDonald's in the Lexington and Louisville.

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Speaker 3: The Kentucky areas. Of course they tested this in Kentucky.

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Speaker 2: I thought you were joking.

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Speaker 1: No, my goodness, who was saying no to a Krispy

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Speaker 1: Kreme in Kentucky?

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Speaker 3: Nobody?

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Speaker 4: Literally nobody.

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Speaker 1: I mean, scup your next laser story going off the

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Speaker 1: rail for us.

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Speaker 3: This next laser story is out of sleep headquarters. I

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Speaker 3: love it here.

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Speaker 1: Would you say you feel older than your age? Younger

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Speaker 1: or pretty much?

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Speaker 3: Spot on?

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Speaker 4: I feel so much younger maturity wise.

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Speaker 1: I'm a child's obvious, but I just mean, like, physical wise,

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Speaker 1: do you feel younger, pretty much the same or older?

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Speaker 4: I still think coach.

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Speaker 2: High school, as they told me, I look fifteen so well.

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Speaker 1: A study found two back to back nights of bad

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Speaker 1: sleep can actually make us feel four years older than.

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Speaker 2: We really are I am tired Jeffreyd's a song of

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Speaker 2: the song of the weekday, Yes, yeah, So do you feel.

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Speaker 3: I'm in a bad spot? Yeah? Yeah, I feel octogenarian.

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Speaker 3: At this point, they looked at.

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Speaker 1: The sleep patterns of over four hundred people and asked

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Speaker 1: each person how old they felt, and then they had

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Speaker 1: a second group get nine hours of sleep for two

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Speaker 1: nights in a row, and when they didn't get enough sleep,

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Speaker 1: they felt four point four years older on average. The

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Speaker 1: people hit the hardest said they felt a whole decade older.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my god.

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Speaker 1: But the good news is there's also a way to

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Speaker 1: feel youthful again. When people got enough sleep every night

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Speaker 1: for a full month, Oh that is impossible. Yeah, if

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Speaker 1: you can do that, they felt an average of five

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Speaker 1: years younger than they really were.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you have to be retired without children.

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Speaker 1: And I know what you're thinking, how much sleep does

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Speaker 1: this guy get. Let's just say last night was so

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Speaker 1: wild with an Adida special.

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Speaker 3: He feels seventy years older this morning.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's sleep.

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Speaker 3: It was so worth. The laser stories is over. We're

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Speaker 3: gonna do it at the same time.

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Speaker 2: On Monday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning