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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

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Speaker 2: This is John, the og story Time podcast host. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: and we got some great stories coming up. But before that,

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Speaker 2: we got a teeny two minute break from the sponsors

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Speaker 2: that keep this show propped up like a little house.

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Speaker 3: Oh yea, my adopted brother felt ostracized by our parents

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Speaker 3: now that he grew up.

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Speaker 1: You got a time limit on your parents' love, ah streets.

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Speaker 3: My parents have five kids, twenty seven female, twenty six male.

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Speaker 3: Then me and my twin and our adopted brother are

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Speaker 3: all twenty three and we are twenty three female, me

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Speaker 3: then two twenty three males. John was adopted when his

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Speaker 3: bio parents, who were close friends with our parents, passed

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Speaker 3: away when he was a few months old. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from Tiara Fu and if you want to

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Speaker 3: spent your own stories, go to the r slash.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Storytime subbured it.

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Speaker 3: So this has been a slowly building thing for years now,

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Speaker 3: but really got called to everyone's attention in the past

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Speaker 3: five years. I remember growing up with John normally as

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Speaker 3: any siblings would, and all of our other siblings say

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Speaker 3: the same. We played, we fought, we may up, we

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Speaker 3: broke our parents' crap. The past five years have been

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Speaker 3: somewhat strange, though at first we thought it was just

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Speaker 3: John being John, but now after I've spoken with him,

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Speaker 3: we discovered it was more than we thought. First off,

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Speaker 3: John left the day he turned eighteen, wow, which was

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Speaker 3: a surprise because he had good grades and everyone assumed

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Speaker 3: he'd go to college like the rest of us. He

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Speaker 3: graduated one semester early and left the house on his

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Speaker 3: eighteenth birthday, which was a shock to everyone. He earned

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Speaker 3: money doing chore work for our dad and uncles, and

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Speaker 3: had bought his own car and apparently saved enough to

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Speaker 3: get an apartment. It was weird, and my parents were sad,

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Speaker 3: but more than that, they were proud and happy for him.

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Speaker 3: Dad offered John money to help him start out life

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Speaker 3: on his own, but John refused and said, you'd be fine.

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Speaker 3: My parents were insanely proud of John. They're not typically

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Speaker 3: the brag about my kid kind of people, but they

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Speaker 3: were telling everyone how independent and responsible and mature and

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Speaker 3: fearless John was. Now it's important to note that us

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Speaker 3: siblings were always fairly close. I cried the first night

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Speaker 3: John was gone and wanted my dad to figure out

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Speaker 3: a way to make him come back because I was

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Speaker 3: scared he passed away or something. So when the communication

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Speaker 3: suddenly was almost nothing, it was weird and we missed him.

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Speaker 3: But our parents said that he was busy working and

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Speaker 3: taking care of himself, and that when he settled and

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Speaker 3: figured things out, he'd be back to his normal self.

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Speaker 3: It never happened, though, and he also stopped really talking

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Speaker 3: to them. He talked to us around birthdays and holidays,

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Speaker 3: but even then it was strange. He always tried to

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Speaker 3: meet up with siblings for dinners or drinks on birthdays,

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Speaker 3: always visits her parents very quickly on their birthday and

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Speaker 3: Mother's and Father's Day, and on Thanksgiving and Christmas. He's

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Speaker 3: in and out. For example, our older brother was the

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Speaker 3: only one there when John was there for our mom's

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Speaker 3: most recent birthday, and he said John was very clinical

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Speaker 3: and that it felt more like a soldier was paying

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Speaker 3: respect to a commanding officer than anyone visiting their parents.

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Speaker 3: One thing about this that stood out was that John

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Speaker 3: talked to her mom and dad and brother about a

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Speaker 3: lot going on his life. Apparently he's got a girlfriend

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Speaker 3: and just got a dog, and as a great new

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Speaker 3: job in construction. No one knew any of this, and

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Speaker 3: Dad cracked a joke about how they were durable parents

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Speaker 3: because how could they not know anything about what was

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Speaker 3: going on in one of their kids' lives. After John

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Speaker 3: left her, Mom looked sad, and when our older brother

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Speaker 3: asked her what was wrong, she said that it felt

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Speaker 3: like John didn't want to be around her and that

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Speaker 3: she missed him before. She refused to say anything more

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Speaker 3: about it, so our older brother started a group chat

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Speaker 3: with everyone but John to ask about if anyone had

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Speaker 3: noticed anything wrong with him.

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Speaker 1: We'd all talked about.

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Speaker 3: How distant he'd been over the years, but never like this.

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Speaker 3: At the end of it, we all arranged to meet

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Speaker 3: up with John and tried to talk to him to

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Speaker 3: make sure everything was okay. It took some effort to

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Speaker 3: get him to open up, but he finally did, and

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Speaker 3: what he said really rocked our family. He said that

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Speaker 3: I'm not their real son. We all immediately tried to

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Speaker 3: reassure him that Mom and dad loved him and we

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Speaker 3: do too, but he had all these stories about how

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Speaker 3: Mom and Dad treated him differently. There were a lot

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Speaker 3: of examples, things like older brother would hug or kiss

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Speaker 3: Mom on the cheek, but she'd push John off if

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Speaker 3: he tried the same. Dad would happily talk sports with anyone,

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Speaker 3: but would be short with John. Our grandparents were never

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Speaker 3: excited to see him aunts, and Uncle's not interested in

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Speaker 3: him or his hobbies or what was going on at school.

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Speaker 3: One incident where Dad asked each boy to go on

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Speaker 3: a hunting trip and never asked John until they were leaving,

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Speaker 3: and when he did finally ask, you could tell my

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Speaker 3: dad was annoyed. And my brothers did confirm this one

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Speaker 3: because they thought it was weird how Dad acted too.

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Speaker 3: When John said he was fine with not going, they

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Speaker 3: said Dad looked happy about it. So maybe John's not

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Speaker 3: imagining things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, maybe like the parents or the other siblings

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Speaker 1: didn't really notice, because you know, they still loved him

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Speaker 1: just the same. But obviously from John's.

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Speaker 2: Perspective, it was not that way.

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Speaker 1: That's so sad.

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Speaker 3: And also he's probably you know, I mean not to

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Speaker 3: kind of mitigate any of the experiences that John has had,

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Speaker 3: but he's also probably hyper vigilant about noticing them because

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Speaker 3: he's kind of already this out to himself. He thinks

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Speaker 3: he's an outsider, and then he's like, Okay, let's find

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Speaker 3: all the things that.

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Speaker 1: Prove that I can understand it. It feels uncomfortable coming into

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Speaker 1: a family where they already have kids, like if you're

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Speaker 1: being adopted into it, and you kind of maybe don't

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Speaker 1: don't trust right away that you are accepted. And then obviously, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you just noticed these little things that confirm that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so sad.

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Speaker 3: John would ask for help with schoolwork. Mom or Dad

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Speaker 3: would say they were tired or tell him to ask teachers,

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Speaker 3: but they'd stay up with the rest of us. You

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Speaker 3: get the idea. There was a lot of stuff, and

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Speaker 3: enough of us witnessed it that we don't think he

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Speaker 3: was misremembering things or making them up. John wasn't bitter

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Speaker 3: or angry about this. He said that he understood that

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Speaker 3: they wouldn't be able to love him the same way

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Speaker 3: they loved us, and that it would be inhuman of

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Speaker 3: me to ask that of them, which broke my heart.

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Speaker 1: He said.

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Speaker 3: He refused the money from Dad because he would have

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Speaker 3: felt badly about him using it on him instead of

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Speaker 3: his real children. What he said, he would always love

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Speaker 3: and respect them and be grateful for their sacrifices in

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Speaker 3: raising him, but that it was too painful to be

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Speaker 3: around them for too long because he knew they couldn't

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Speaker 3: be what he wanted and that he couldn't be what

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Speaker 3: they wanted. Our oldest sister was impassioned by this and

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Speaker 3: told my parents about it. It was a crap show.

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Speaker 3: Mom crying, Dad punt in a wall. They're both ashamed

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Speaker 3: and hurt, and insists that they love him just as

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Speaker 3: much as they do the rest of us.

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Speaker 2: That's that sounds like the best way to prove that always, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: punch wall.

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Speaker 1: Wait, we don't love you, you love me? Like, what's

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Speaker 1: I mean? It doesn't seem like they're doing that in

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Speaker 1: front of John, But that's just those are insane reactions

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Speaker 1: to them.

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Speaker 3: That is not how you show that you love this kid.

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Speaker 3: And I mean, you can always try to make up

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Speaker 3: for the actions that you you know have done in

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Speaker 3: the past, but you may have permanently lost out on

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Speaker 3: that relationship with him. I wonder if if the siblings

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Speaker 3: can reach kindle their relationship. I hope so, yeah, because

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Speaker 3: it's not their fault.

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Speaker 1: But but yeah, if if it doesn't feel the same

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Speaker 1: way with the parents, then maybe maybe not.

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Speaker 2: Maybe's supposed to move on. Now.

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Speaker 3: John knows our parents know he's upset. He's apprehensive about

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Speaker 3: coming around, which is understandable. We love her brother, and

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Speaker 3: our parents love him too, and we all miss him.

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Speaker 3: How do we fix this? Editing to add I just

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Speaker 3: learned from her that apparently mom had a talk with

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Speaker 3: John and asked him if he had any improper feelings

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Speaker 3: about us, which, holy crap, if nothing else made him

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Speaker 3: feel like an outsider, that did.

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Speaker 1: And there is an update.

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Speaker 3: But yikes, what a weird question to ask, like this

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Speaker 3: son that you've kind of raised alongside sibling adoptive siblings.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but like what was the question again?

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Speaker 3: She's basically asking him if he was into any of

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Speaker 3: the siblings. Oh what the yeah, which is said when

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Speaker 3: he was.

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Speaker 1: He was younger? I think, what what? What? Whilch?

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Speaker 3: Is such a weird question to ask a child who

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Speaker 3: is really raised as a sibling.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: Like unless, like I doubt there was any you know,

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Speaker 3: reason that she had, Like I don't think he was

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Speaker 3: probably doing a thing, sure of course, but yeah, a weird,

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Speaker 3: weird question. It just it just kind of is more

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Speaker 3: proof of like how the mom viewed the kid, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and which is like not necessarily as equal as the

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Speaker 3: other kids.

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Speaker 1: She may have loved him, but it wasn't as a son.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not in the same way at least. It was

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Speaker 2: like it was like he was the ward. Yeah, he

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Speaker 2: was the uron gray joy of the family. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Update.

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Speaker 3: The first people I wanted to really talk to were

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Speaker 3: my parents. I didn't share everything John shared with us

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Speaker 3: in the threat I made, but there were so many

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Speaker 3: things they'd done that were just downright rule. This conversation

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Speaker 3: was fairly quiet and extremely emotional. I only write adopted

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Speaker 3: brother here because I want to communicate with people reading,

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Speaker 3: but in my heart, he's just my brother. So when

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Speaker 3: I detailed the things John remembered, I began to cry.

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Speaker 3: And it hurts, but even more because I almost wanted

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Speaker 3: my parents to deny. I wanted them to be sure

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Speaker 3: they'd never done anything so mean, and that maybe John

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Speaker 3: was remembering things wrong. They never denied anything, though when

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Speaker 3: specific instances arose, you could see them turn their heads

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Speaker 3: or eyes away in shame. They'd get up in pace,

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Speaker 3: put their heads down. Never a denial when I asked them.

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Speaker 3: Most time, they say they didn't realize they were doing something,

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Speaker 3: or that they were too careless. They kept saying that

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Speaker 3: there was no excuse for it. You just can't. I mean,

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Speaker 3: you could apologize now, but.

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Speaker 4: You're not again. You're never gonna get that relationship back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because the all of the you know, bonding moments

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Speaker 3: you've already missed out on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: I asked my father specifically about the fishing trip he

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Speaker 3: didn't invite John on. He said that he'd asked the

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Speaker 3: other boys and it just never crossed his mind to

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Speaker 3: go out of his way.

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Speaker 1: And ask John.

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Speaker 4: How is it out of your way to ask one

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Speaker 4: kid but not the others?

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Speaker 1: How?

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Speaker 3: I asked them both why they didn't help him withholme

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Speaker 3: or make sure their eighteen year old leaving had a

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Speaker 3: solid plan and would be safe. I never got a

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Speaker 3: response on that. I asked my mom about why she

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Speaker 3: pushed John off when he tried to be affectionate towards her,

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Speaker 3: and her response is the one that really leaves me

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Speaker 3: at a lost. She was very honest and said that

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Speaker 3: in her mind she couldn't ignore the fact that he

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Speaker 3: was spicily mature man who was not biologically related.

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Speaker 1: Gross. Uh gross. The who is saying this? The mother?

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Speaker 1: This mother?

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Speaker 3: Yes, the second she is like, I don't know how

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Speaker 3: else to say this, I'll say sextualizing. Yeah, she is

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Speaker 3: sextualizing this child. Yeah, her child. Repeatedly she has brought

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Speaker 3: up nature is like, you know, oh, are you attracted

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Speaker 3: to your siblings?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I feel like I can't hug this child. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: he's an adult man.

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Speaker 4: Oh that was raised raised him.

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Speaker 2: Who let this lady adopt a kid?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, A great question. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: She's not deserved.

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Speaker 1: She said.

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Speaker 3: It felt no different having my other brother's hug and

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Speaker 3: kiss her as babies, as it would today, but that

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Speaker 3: around the time John went through puberty, she couldn't see

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Speaker 3: him as one of her babies anymore.

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Speaker 2: She said.

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Speaker 3: Her instinct then became to protect her daughter's justing case. Disgusting,

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Speaker 3: My god, disgusting.

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Speaker 1: That's the sun.

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Speaker 2: I suggest getting a bear to move into your house.

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Speaker 4: I suggest that she'd get a therapist, yeah, she said.

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Speaker 1: She said.

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Speaker 3: It was hard and she wasn't happy about it, but

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Speaker 3: she'd rather have protected us and gone too far to

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Speaker 3: John's detriment than been laxed to our detriment.

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Speaker 1: Or you can just be a good parent, do what

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Speaker 1: you signed up for when adopting a whole child, she said.

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Speaker 3: When John left, she felt relieved. After talking with them,

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Speaker 3: I spoke with my older sister, who was still very angry.

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Speaker 3: Same with our siblings. We all the siblings love him

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Speaker 3: and want him back in our lives like before, We

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Speaker 3: don't want to lose him. I reached out to John

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Speaker 3: and it was a bittersweet conversation. We both were happy

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Speaker 3: to be talking to each other. We still have our

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Speaker 3: inside jokes and things like that, and we can hang

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Speaker 3: out like nothing ever happened. But when we spoke about

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Speaker 3: re establishing our old relationship, he said it would be difficult.

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Speaker 3: There is a little bit left. But do you have

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Speaker 3: any final thoughts?

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Speaker 1: My thoughts are new and gross and you should not

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Speaker 1: have been able to adopt anyone.

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Speaker 3: And ew yeah, that is my those are my exact thoughts.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of crazy. Yeah, I think that the thing

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Speaker 2: that's getting me is there's like the disconnect that like,

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Speaker 2: the only kid that could have done any of these

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Speaker 2: things she's worried about is John, just because he's adopted.

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Speaker 2: Where it's like, actually, any one of.

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Speaker 3: Your lion there are so many I mean, like awful,

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Speaker 3: but there are so many instances of blood relatives being predators.

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Speaker 2: That's why you got to keep your eyes up. Well, no,

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Speaker 2: that's that's kid who's exactly right, the prime suspect. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm sure.

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Speaker 3: And also if that's again not saying that do would

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Speaker 3: ever ever do this, but like, if you want to

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Speaker 3: prevent any of this from happening, ostracizing your child certainly doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Is not like the best preventative measures. Absolutely not. And

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Speaker 1: then also too, it's like she's it's not even the

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Speaker 1: fact that she's like just worried this is gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: She's kind of decided for herself that this will happen.

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Speaker 4: Like when he left, she was relieved, you know, And

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Speaker 4: it's like.

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Speaker 1: Give him a chance, man, you have the chance to

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Speaker 1: parent him away from that.

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Speaker 3: I agreed, But there is a little bit left to

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Speaker 3: this story. He said he would love to be my brother,

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Speaker 3: but that he felt gross around us girls because of mom,

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Speaker 3: and that he feels like less than around our brothers.

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Speaker 3: He said that loneliness sucks, but that it's better than

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Speaker 3: feeling like people would rather not have you around. He

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00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,120
Speaker 3: said he felt like a family friend that everyone liked,

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Speaker 3: but who's stuck around too long. Oof, dame ouch dang.

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Speaker 3: We both ended up crying. It was very ugly. We

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Speaker 3: at least decided that we try as siblings.

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Speaker 2: Well, and that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, folks, I refuse to use my student loans to

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Speaker 1: pay my mother's tax bill. She got furious. That sounds

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Speaker 1: like her problem. I'm starting graduate school in January, and

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Speaker 1: I will be moving to a new country soon in

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Speaker 1: about three weeks. I've always wanted to get a master's

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Speaker 1: and last year I made the decision to pursue a

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Speaker 1: degree abroad, mostly because the country I'm from has no

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Speaker 1: development in the field I am interested in. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from a student mom advice and if you

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Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the our

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00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:40,200
Speaker 1: such okay, storytime separate it. So now, graduate school costs

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Speaker 1: a bunch of money, and although my family has always

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Speaker 1: been well off, I have two younger brothers, both still

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Speaker 1: in college. Moreover, my father's business took a bad head

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Speaker 1: in January and he is still recovering from the losses.

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Speaker 1: When I told my parents about the plan, they told

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Speaker 1: me it wouldn't be possible for them to finance my

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Speaker 1: education because of the reasons I just listed. I understand

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00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,280
Speaker 1: that parents paying for you as a gift, and I

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00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,920
Speaker 1: thanked them and went about looking for student loans. I

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Speaker 1: wrote all the admission exams, did well, and was admitted

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Speaker 1: to a really good school. Everything went well.

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Speaker 4: I was accepted for a loan for about eighty K.

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Speaker 1: My mom's father left her and her brother, my uncle,

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Speaker 1: a significant bit of inheritance, and recently my mom and

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00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,360
Speaker 1: uncle got involved in a tax problem with a company

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00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,800
Speaker 1: leasing out the property that was left to them. Long

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Speaker 1: story short, the company hadn't paid the applicable tax and

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Speaker 1: the government contacted my mom and uncle about it since

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Speaker 1: they are the owners of the building, and asked them

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Speaker 1: to pay up. This tax is also.

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Speaker 2: A significant amount.

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Speaker 1: Last week, she said that she wants to pay her

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Speaker 1: share of the tax from my student loan. I am

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Speaker 1: pretty hesitant because I want to use this loan as

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Speaker 1: little as possible. When I start classes, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: work part time and I'm also going to look for

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Speaker 1: a teaching assistant ship to make some money.

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Speaker 2: I told her that I'll think about.

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Speaker 1: It, which brings us to today, where she brought it

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Speaker 1: up again. I asked her if she would pay back

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Speaker 1: the money that she would be borrowing and the interests,

349
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Speaker 1: and she said that yes. Once the company pays back

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Speaker 1: my uncle and her she will.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't trust that.

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Speaker 3: You have to ask yourself, is why is a bank

353
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Speaker 3: not giving them alone?

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00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:13,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

355
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Speaker 1: And why should you not give them alone either?

356
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,400
Speaker 2: Exactly?

357
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Speaker 1: Exactly, because it's all gonna fall on you and we

358
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,760
Speaker 1: can't even like, first of all, we can't trust the

359
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,680
Speaker 1: mom and the uncle. Second all, we can't trust this

360
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 1: random company that's like doing all this tax stuff. It

361
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 1: seems suspicious. I don't know all the details of their

362
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 1: tax thing, but it doesn't feel exactly right. Yes, so

363
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 1: I would not trust them to pay.

364
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,920
Speaker 2: Back your loan for college.

365
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:40,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

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00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,920
Speaker 3: And also I would just be like, uh, sorry, those

367
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 3: I can't those are for student you know.

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00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 4: You're like guys for college, Like, no, not your loan.

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Speaker 1: It's you're wrong.

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Speaker 2: You say the government is looking into it right now,

371
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 2: So yeah, you don't want them looking at it exactly.

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Speaker 1: I asked her why they aren't suing the company, because

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Speaker 1: they are pretty much violating their leasing agreement, and she

374
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,760
Speaker 1: said that they don't want to get involved in the

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Speaker 1: legal hassle.

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Speaker 4: It seems like you're creating other legal hassles.

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00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

378
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,199
Speaker 4: Plus, the deadline to pay the tax is March of

379
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,440
Speaker 4: next year. If they don't, then they will lose their building.

380
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,160
Speaker 1: She could see that I was hesitant, so she said

381
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,400
Speaker 1: that in case the company doesn't pay up, she can

382
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 1: dip into her savings, which are around sixty K in cash,

383
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:27,120
Speaker 1: not including deposits or other inheritance and my dad's savings,

384
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,919
Speaker 1: and she can pay me back. Then do that.

385
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, so then I do that now.

386
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 1: So then I said, why don't you pay off the

387
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 1: tax from your savings and get reimbursed from the company later.

388
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 3: Yep.

389
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you're totally bringing in OP that does not

390
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 1: need to be involved at all. Yeah.

391
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,040
Speaker 3: Stop trying to steal your child's money. Yeah, the company

392
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,160
Speaker 3: has to pay up either way. The amount of money

393
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,680
Speaker 3: owed is around fifteen K. This is when she got

394
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 3: mad at me. She started saying that she has been

395
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,199
Speaker 3: independent in all her life and has never had to

396
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 3: ask money from anyone, and I should be more understanding.

397
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 3: Thing is, you're not asking for money that Open he has.

398
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:07,680
Speaker 3: You're asking for money that the government is giving to OP. Yeah,

399
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,639
Speaker 3: that's got interest on it, got interest that OPS to

400
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:15,119
Speaker 3: pay off. Yeah, it's not money that exists in Op's account.

401
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,639
Speaker 1: Right, And it's it's just the argument of like Oh,

402
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,080
Speaker 1: like I never asked you for anything? Like, can you

403
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 1: just do this one thing that I'm asking you now?

404
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,240
Speaker 1: It's like, I've never asked anyone from I have never

405
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 1: asked money from anyone in my whole life, So can't

406
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,920
Speaker 1: I just ask it from.

407
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,200
Speaker 3: You right now? A g I've never asked you for

408
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 3: money before. Please give me a million dollars.

409
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,920
Speaker 4: See, I can't do that, that's the idea.

410
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 1: Literally, never asked you for money and give me.

411
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 4: Now that's the problem.

412
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:46,400
Speaker 1: She doesn't get it. Her savings are her retirement plan

413
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 1: and she doesn't want to use them. At the moment,

414
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,880
Speaker 1: she got pretty snarky and told me that if I'm

415
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,879
Speaker 1: going to be this selfish, she can make other arrangements.

416
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 1: Then do that. Yeah, do that perfect. Here's the thing.

417
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 1: I worked for eight months and saved up money, which

418
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 1: I used to pay for all my examination fees, the

419
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 1: college application fees, my ticket back home, loan processing fees.

420
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:07,640
Speaker 2: Literally everything.

421
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 1: I did this because my mom and dad told me

422
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,640
Speaker 1: that they won't be able to pay for my education,

423
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,680
Speaker 1: and I did everything in my power to make sure

424
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,639
Speaker 1: that they wouldn't have to spend money on me. And

425
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 1: now she got mad that I wouldn't let her take

426
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,160
Speaker 1: the tax money from the student loan. While I do

427
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 1: trust her to pay me back. Until she does, all

428
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 1: the money will be gathering a lot of interest, to

429
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 1: which I'm not sure she is going to pay back,

430
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 1: and I do not want that to burden me. I

431
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 1: should also mention that they were contacted about the tax

432
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,119
Speaker 1: around January this year, and my parents still planned a

433
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,560
Speaker 1: very expensive family vacation this year. I was really against

434
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 1: this idea, and so that they should save up for

435
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 1: the tax thing.

436
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 3: That's wild, Yeah, paying money for other things.

437
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 1: They don't even have that money. They don't. They don't.

438
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,680
Speaker 3: I would say, Oh, well, it seems like you're able

439
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 3: to still go on this vacation, so I don't think

440
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 3: I need to help you.

441
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 1: Was I wrong to be hesitant? How do I keep

442
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 1: enforcing this boundary with her? I feel bad now that

443
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 1: she's upset. I need your advice, Reddit and edit's adding

444
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 1: this because I forgot to mention. She told me that

445
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to do this, but she's asking me

446
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 1: because it's a problem. I understand and empathize. My dad's

447
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 1: business is taking way too long to recover. But what

448
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 1: gets me is that she has the savings. Why can't

449
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 1: she just use them now and get reimbursed later. Edit

450
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: number one just clarifying because I should have mentioned before

451
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 1: the inheritance was mostly property in fixed deposits.

452
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 2: There wasn't much liquid cash.

453
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 1: The property is still there, obviously, and the fixed deposits

454
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,359
Speaker 1: are there too. I check the papers. She just doesn't

455
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: want to use them. Her savings converted to the local

456
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 1: currency is not a bad amount at all. I put

457
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: everything in USD for universality. Got another edit.

458
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,480
Speaker 4: Let's see this, see this? See Shall we read that?

459
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: Or do you have it?

460
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts before we get into that.

461
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,160
Speaker 3: My thoughts are do not give your parents your student

462
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 3: loan money?

463
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:59,479
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, I know? And oh at a number two.

464
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 1: Thank you to everybody for your insight. I just wanted

465
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 1: to add an update as I have been thinking a

466
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 1: lot since I made this post on Reddit. I agree

467
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 1: with you all when you say that it was not

468
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,439
Speaker 1: right of her to ask and put me in a

469
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 1: spot like this. When I made this post, I was

470
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 1: feeling guilty for making her feel bad, But since then

471
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 1: I feel bad that she would a be possibly hiding.

472
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 2: Something from me.

473
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,919
Speaker 1: As some of you suggested, be consider putting me in

474
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 1: this situation and react that way when I offer solutions.

475
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 1: That is all I wanted to say for now. I

476
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,479
Speaker 1: shall update to get in soon and we do have

477
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 1: a little ended as well. I made the last update

478
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,880
Speaker 1: and went to bed soon after and was not expecting

479
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: so much support. Thank you everyone for your advice. I've

480
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 1: read all the comments and definitely agree with you all

481
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 1: that loaning her the money will be a bad idea.

482
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 1: Someone said that my father does not know, and I

483
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 1: suspect the same. Oh. Interesting, I'm going to talk to

484
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 1: him about this and see what he has to say.

485
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about that talking to the dad,

486
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: seeing if he knows about all. Oh, I thought he

487
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 1: was in on it.

488
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 2: It was the mom and uncle. So the mom and

489
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 2: her brother.

490
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:01,919
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, a little yeah scam artists, I believe.

491
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,360
Speaker 1: So thank you once again to everyone who took time

492
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 1: out to comment. Sorry for the long post. You don't

493
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: ever have to apologize. Ope, but we do have an

494
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: official update social updates.

495
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, this all just sounds a little fishy, dude. This

496
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 3: is like what the you know scammers email you about.

497
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,239
Speaker 3: They're like, you send us some of your loan and

498
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 3: you go wow, it's a scam. Yeah, just because it's

499
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,959
Speaker 3: your mom doesn't mean it's not a scam.

500
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:27,639
Speaker 1: Exactly.

501
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 4: Don't click on any links that she sends you.

502
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 1: I want to update you about the events that happened

503
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: after I made my first post. First of all, like

504
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: some of you suggested, I talked.

505
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,920
Speaker 4: To my father about my mother's demands.

506
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: I suspected that he did not know, and I was right.

507
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 1: He thought it was ridiculous that she asked me because

508
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 1: A it would be illegal if I agreed, like many

509
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: of you said, yup, and B it's not right of

510
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,120
Speaker 1: her to put me in that spot. Yepp. He then

511
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,359
Speaker 1: told me that he has offered her a gamut of

512
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 1: options to solve this Uh really quickly, Can.

513
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 2: I just say I love that it is too points

514
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 2: are that it's illegal and wrong. Yeah, it's illegal in bed, which.

515
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 1: The two most obvious points. Yes. Absolutely. He then told

516
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 1: me that he has offered her a gamut of options

517
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: to solve this problem. Lawyers to take legal action against

518
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: the company, former director of the company, whom he knows

519
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 1: and who may be able to get my mother in

520
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: touch with the correct person, and even letting the government

521
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,920
Speaker 1: know that the company has been breaching in the contract.

522
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: But apparently she has not shown much interest in any

523
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 1: of those solutions because they require efforts and time from

524
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 1: her side, which makes him think that she is hiding something,

525
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: which most.

526
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 4: Of you thought and I would have to agree.

527
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: Yesterday, the topic of my loan came up, and I

528
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: firmly told her that it is illegal and neither can

529
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: I afford it, so she shouldn't hope that I am

530
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: able to help her. I did say that I will

531
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 1: help her figure out legal options or even the best

532
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 1: way to take a loan to pay off this debt.

533
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 4: She's my mother and I do love her. Yeah, scam artist,

534
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 4: you love us, You love a scam A scam artist.

535
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: This summer on Tales see my scam artist Mom.

536
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 1: That being said, I should have mentioned that she is

537
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: a self absorbed person, and the sad part is that

538
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 1: she doesn't even know how her actions affect others. My brothers,

539
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: both nineteen, told me that they had told her repeatedly

540
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:16,719
Speaker 1: that it was a very bad idea to take an

541
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 1: expensive vacation with this looming tax problem. She didn't listen

542
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,239
Speaker 1: and did what she wanted. There is a little bit

543
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 1: more to the story. Yeah, but I am so glad

544
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,160
Speaker 1: that she's standing up and not let this happened. Yeah.

545
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,920
Speaker 3: I mean again, a lot of people get swindled by

546
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 3: family members because they're family members.

547
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 4: And you're like, oh, well I gotta trust my family.

548
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 3: No, no, trust the legal cyst. Well maybe you shouldn't

549
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,400
Speaker 3: trust the legal system all the time, but don't trust them. Yeah,

550
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 3: don't trust your mom, your swindling mom exactly.

551
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 1: Again, so love the dad is like, hey, that's illegal, dude,

552
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: it's illegal, and it's wrong and is just wrong and

553
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 1: it's just gross. It is gross, it's just gross. Fraud

554
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 1: is bad, fraud is mad. But like this fraud is

555
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 1: really bad.

556
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, don't defraud your own children.

557
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, so please, it's so not in it's so last

558
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: year year, Yes, fraudy and children yeahugh, so goos so

559
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 1: two thousand and late.

560
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, there is a little bit more into the story.

561
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: I thought over her actions for the past few years,

562
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: and they are indeed very self centered. The money that

563
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,360
Speaker 1: she makes every month is more than the combined salary

564
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: that both parents of some of my friends make, and

565
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 1: yet she is always complaining about money. She's living under

566
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: some illusion that someone will rescue her from this crisis,

567
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: not realizing that she has to take some action. I

568
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: don't mean to rant about her, but it saddened me

569
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: a bit to know that she is so reckless with

570
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: her money and then considered jeopardizing my education. Again, thank

571
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: you for everyone for your advice and support. And that

572
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: is the end of that story. Well, there you go,

573
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,479
Speaker 1: there you go. Yeah, this mom's just running away from

574
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 1: our problems.

575
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, were indebts man, yeah, man, or like, I don't

576
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 3: know how I'm the company until they pay you your

577
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 3: fifteen K.

578
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

579
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

580
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 4: Why do you need all of op's student loans?

581
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: You really really don't. You don't You just don't need them.

582
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

583
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 3: My father demands his gifts back after finding out their

584
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 3: high value.

585
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 4: What about finers keepers, losers weepers?

586
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 3: I nineteen mail was gifted my dad's sports card collection

587
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 3: for my eighteenth birthday. He had boxes of them from

588
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 3: when he was growing up. I started looking into how

589
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 3: you could get them graded. I finally shipped the best

590
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 3: ones out a few months ago and just got them

591
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 3: back last week. By the way, this comes from Appropriate

592
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 3: Skill thirty two and if you want to submit your

593
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Separate too.

594
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 3: I was happy to see how highly some of them

595
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 3: were graded. I researched what these cards would go for,

596
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 3: and my job dropped. Put your guesses in, what are

597
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 3: we thinking? How much are they each?

598
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 2: One is five hundred dollars?

599
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 4: Five hundred dollars?

600
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: Wow?

601
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 2: Was the answer, depending on the vintage, like how old

602
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,920
Speaker 2: the cards are, and like how high they're graded? And

603
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 2: like who the players are? You're talking about thousands of dollars? Oh?

604
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: Really, guy?

605
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 2: Like thousands? Screaming? I think the most expensive card I

606
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 2: saw come into the store that some guy just randomly

607
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 2: brought in was like, I don't know what I have.

608
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: It's like a fifteen thousand dollar Michael Jordan's signature card.

609
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 4: Ooh wow, that's crazy.

610
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 3: This money would help me pay for college and I

611
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 3: would still have a decent amount left over. I was

612
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 3: visiting my parents and my dad mentioned something about those cards.

613
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 3: I made the mistake of saying how much some of

614
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: these cards were worth. He didn't have much of a

615
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 3: reaction that night. The next day I got a long

616
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 3: text from my dad saying that he gave it some

617
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 3: thought and wanted his cards back. The money would help

618
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 3: him and my mom pay for their dream vacation. I

619
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 3: thought it was a joke, but he was serious. Well,

620
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,719
Speaker 3: when you put it that way, my college is irrelevant.

621
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: You need pay vacation.

622
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,640
Speaker 1: Who cares about my education? I told them.

623
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,919
Speaker 3: Sorry, but they were a gift and I intended on

624
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 3: using this money for college. Since then, I've been getting

625
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 3: hurtful text from my parents telling me how selfish I am.

626
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 1: That's funny.

627
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 4: So then do you guys want to help me pay

628
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 4: for my college? And it's like, who's pending for the college? Yeah,

629
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 4: he's doing that.

630
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, they say I'm an a hole for wanting to

631
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 3: sell these cards because they were a gift, even though

632
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 3: they would do the same thing if I gave them back.

633
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 3: I plan on getting my dad a cool gift for

634
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 3: his birthday with some of my money, but I'm starting

635
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 3: to think he doesn't deserve anything at all. Am I

636
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 3: the a whole and there are some relevant comments and

637
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 3: an update?

638
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 2: But what say you? I'm considering like how valuable these

639
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: might be I can pay for college and then.

640
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: Means exactly, yeah, yes, that would be like I mean,

641
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: the last story had a loan of eighty K for

642
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: Collins so it's I can be way over that relevant

643
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: comments normally not.

644
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 3: The ale depends in the situation. Have your parents been

645
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 3: financially supporting you? Edit? Not necessarily an a hole, but

646
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 3: I'd be cautious. Creating a divide between you and your

647
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 3: parents might not be worth it. But is it worth

648
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 3: going into debts?

649
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 2: But hold on, I'm out though he's not creating the divide.

650
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: Also, yeah he's not.

651
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: That's creating the divide by being shamelessly selfishly give me

652
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 2: back the things that are worth money again right after

653
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 2: we found out that they were.

654
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:44,239
Speaker 3: Let's just put this just imagine someone gives you a

655
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 3: gift and you're like, oh my god, thank you, and

656
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 3: then they come back two weeks later. Not that they

657
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 3: came back two weeks later, but they come back two

658
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 3: weeks later. Hypothetically they're like, I want that back, give

659
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 3: it back to me.

660
00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: Yeah that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. You don't do that.

661
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: You can't just take back a gift.

662
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree, I agree.

663
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 3: Opie says they paid for a little under half of

664
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 3: my first semester of college. Other than that, I support myself.

665
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 3: Deleted says were they going to continue to help with college?

666
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: Because If yes, they now have that money to save

667
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 3: up for their dream vacation. Opie says, I doubt it.

668
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 3: They were pretty pissed at what school I chose. Might

669
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 3: have been an excuse to get me to pay for

670
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 3: my own college, but I don't know. This situation kind

671
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 3: of has me rethinking everything.

672
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: Who not?

673
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 3: Mike Jones says, not the ale and I think it's

674
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 3: good to mention if you know about sports cards and

675
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 3: getting them greater right now.

676
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: It's not cheap.

677
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 3: Last time I looked at Panini for grading, it was

678
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 3: one hundred and fifty per card.

679
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

680
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 3: Just make sure you check comps before selling. Don't let

681
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 3: anyone rip you off. Also, please use PayPal for payments.

682
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 3: I'll have your back if you get scammed. Unfortunately, there's

683
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 3: a lot of scamming in the card world. Yep, it

684
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: is not cheap at all. That's why it took me

685
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 3: so long to send only my best ones out. Peanut

686
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 3: Buttercups says, info around how much of the cards going for?

687
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 3: How is your relationship with your parents? Do you like sports?

688
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 3: Trying to see if your dad was well meaning when

689
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 3: he gave them to you. It's a gift he gave you,

690
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 3: and it's kind of crappy to ask for it back

691
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: now that it's worth more than sentimental value. The most

692
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 3: expensive card usually sells for about fifty K.

693
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 2: That's wow on card, much.

694
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: More than any of us said I want.

695
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, now we said a thousand, We said

696
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 3: like thousands.

697
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,479
Speaker 2: So because that card is worth fifty k, it is

698
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 2: true when you send that in to get graded, that's

699
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 2: going to cost you like seven or eight hundred dollars. Yeah, once,

700
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 2: once they determine it's worth that much. That's that's how

701
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 2: they charge you.

702
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: Oh oh, we mentioned that when he sent these in

703
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: for grading, he only sent a few of them. He

704
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: just sent like the the best cards, so it's there

705
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: could be so much more value.

706
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 2: And the rest of them. Absolutely.

707
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 3: My relationship with my parents is usually good, but as

708
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 3: gotten worse over the past year. They wanted me to

709
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 3: go to a school closer to home, but I didn't.

710
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 3: I'm still in state. I love sports, so I guess

711
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 3: I would understand why they're upset if they weren't planning

712
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 3: on selling the cards for themselves. And there is an update,

713
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 3: but ohp, you were not the a hole. They're trying

714
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 3: to take your money that you're not like. Oh again,

715
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 3: I mean they gave it as a gift, so really

716
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 3: just messed up in general, regardless of what you were

717
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 3: using it for. To ask for back, but you're using

718
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 3: it for school. Yeah, most parents would be over the

719
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 3: moon to find out that their child doesn't have to

720
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 3: take on debt, yeah, to get like to go get

721
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 3: an education exactly. So just the fact that your parents

722
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 3: are focused more on their dream vacation than you getting

723
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 3: a good education, yeah, is very telling. Yeah, there is

724
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 3: an update. First of all, thanks to the majority of

725
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 3: people saying I'm not the a hole. There was some

726
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 3: everyone secks here and if you you're the a hole

727
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 3: sprinkled in, but thanks for the input. I didn't want

728
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 3: to lose my relationship with my parents over this, so

729
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 3: I decided to compromise.

730
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 2: Okay.

731
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: My idea was to keep the cards and handle the

732
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 3: sales myself. However, I would communicate each sale with my

733
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 3: parents and come up with a fair split to pay

734
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 3: for college and their vacation. I told my parents we

735
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 3: could meet up on Monday and discuss the situation. Unfortunately,

736
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 3: they continued to pester me over the days leading up

737
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 3: to our talk. Apparently having to work on Mother's Day

738
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 3: was just an excuse by me to avoid talking to

739
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 3: them about cards. By the time we met, I was

740
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 3: pretty tired of their crap. I could be the ale

741
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 3: for this, but I decided to test them. I lied

742
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 3: and told them they could have the cards if they

743
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,479
Speaker 3: paid me back the cost of getting them graded.

744
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 4: That's what I was thinking. Yeah, they would at least

745
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 4: have to do that.

746
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, at the very least, you say, okay, okay, Well,

747
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 3: if you want the money, then you should grade them.

748
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should.

749
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 3: You should be participant in what I had to go

750
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 3: through to get them.

751
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know exactly. Price that way.

752
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 3: When I told them the price, they didn't believe me.

753
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,959
Speaker 3: I was accused of lying to get more money out

754
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 3: of this, and I realized it wasn't worth proofing. They

755
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 3: wanted everything and there was no compromise to be made.

756
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 3: I told them not to contact me and that I'd

757
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 3: only be around to see my brother and go to

758
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 3: other family events. So that's how it went. Glad they

759
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 3: care more about the money than me. I've been trying

760
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 3: to keep together, but it's been hard. Thankfully, my girlfriend

761
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 3: has been around to comfort me.

762
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 1: She's the best. Maybe I'll use some of that extra

763
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,959
Speaker 1: money on a vacation for us.

764
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 3: I haven't heard anything from other family yet, so I

765
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 3: don't know how this is all going to play out.

766
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 3: Guess all I can do now is work on getting

767
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 3: those cards sold and hope for the best realm and commons.

768
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 3: Karash says, split the money with your brother, keep it

769
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 3: in your name, but earmark the proceeds for both your

770
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 3: college educations. Opie says, I've definitely thought about doing that.

771
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 3: He's still a few years away from finishing high school,

772
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 3: so maybe that will be a good graduation gift. Update

773
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 3: two earlier today, I had my first family party to

774
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 3: go to since everything went down. I guess word kind

775
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 3: of got around about what happened, because I had some

776
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 3: family members ask me if I was all right over text.

777
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 3: At Least they're not like, how dare you not give

778
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 3: your parents money?

779
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 4: At least they're, you know, seemingly a little bit more reasonable.

780
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 2: Right.

781
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 3: My parents were not at the party while I was there,

782
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 3: not sure if they showed up at all. Everything seemed

783
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 3: to be fine with the rest of the family. Nobody

784
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 3: treated me any different. Well, clearly, your parents have a

785
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 3: reputation in the family.

786
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, there is a little bit left to the story.

787
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 4: Any final thoughts.

788
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:21,800
Speaker 1: Just same kind of thing. I think that would be.

789
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 1: That would be pretty cool of you, as like a

790
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: big brother move to just like give your your little

791
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,760
Speaker 1: brother some money for graduation, because that was a typical

792
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,399
Speaker 1: graduation gift is like a little bit of money.

793
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you sometimes it can be like like I

794
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 3: got uh vacation money.

795
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 4: You know, that was kind of like everyone chipped into

796
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 4: a fund.

797
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 2: Oh that's cool.

798
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, so sometimes that's a good graduation gift. You can

799
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 3: kind of talk to him about it and say, do

800
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: you want this to go towards college?

801
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: Want a vacation?

802
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be pretty cool. But there

803
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 2: is a little bit left. Okay.

804
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 3: In my last post, people were telling me to save

805
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,720
Speaker 3: some money for my brother, which was a great idea.

806
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 3: I'll have to do that in secret when he graduates. Yeah,

807
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 3: don't tell your parents. Yeah definitely. I've decided to do

808
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 3: even more and start building a sports card collection of

809
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 3: my own. I can pass that down to my own

810
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 3: kids one day. I definitely feel better now that this

811
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 3: hasn't affected the relationship with the rest of my family.

812
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,280
Speaker 3: I'm excited to take some beach trips with my girlfriends

813
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 3: so I can relax this summer. Also looking forward to

814
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 3: selling those cards. I promised a few of you to

815
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 3: send picks of my cards, so if you're reading this,

816
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 3: please remind me this is probably my last update, so

817
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,399
Speaker 3: thanks again for the supports. In comments, comment one says

818
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 3: money always brings out the worst in people and messes

819
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 3: up family relationships. Reply says that and the reading of wills.

820
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 3: When one of my paternal great aunts passed away, people

821
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 3: through fits because they were given a smaller part of

822
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 3: the pie or none than they had expected. There were

823
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 3: a lot of furniture pieces that we were hoping to

824
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 3: keep within the family. However, we ended up having to

825
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 3: sell almost everything and buy ourselves what we wanted to keep,

826
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,280
Speaker 3: all because some people were greedy and wanted a few blocks.

827
00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 2: We had a.

828
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 3: Gorgeous antique pie safe that one of my cousins wanted

829
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 3: to keep, as it had been owned by my great

830
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 3: aunt's parents or grandparents, so real potential to become a

831
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 3: family heirloom. But by the time it was all over,

832
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 3: he didn't want it anymore because it would have just

833
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 3: reminded him of the nastiness. Ironically, by what you want

834
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 3: to keep was how my grandmother avoided the stupid fights.

835
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 3: Her will went Roughly, all sentimental objects that have sufficient

836
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 3: quantity to do so are split up between the kids

837
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 3: and grandkids. Executor goes to the house and puts a

838
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 3: price stack on literally everything else, with the help of

839
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,359
Speaker 3: an appraiser if need be. All family members can come

840
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 3: to the house and buy whatever they want to keep

841
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 3: and or negotiate with an executor or have a bidding

842
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 3: war if two people want the same thing, including the

843
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 3: house itself. If someone actually wants it, after that, executor

844
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 3: has a yard sale with all the prices remaining intact,

845
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 3: no family allowed.

846
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,760
Speaker 4: Executor sells the house if no one in the family

847
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 4: bought it.

848
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,360
Speaker 3: Executor takes all the money earned from all previous steps

849
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 3: and splits it seven ways among my kids after paying

850
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 3: a state expenses.

851
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 1: That's really interesting. You'll get that money back, or like,

852
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: at least some of it, you know.

853
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 3: Well, no, it was so all of the money. Yeah,

854
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 3: that is being like all this furniture and stuff that's

855
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 3: being sold. Instead of having to everyone fight over what

856
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,439
Speaker 3: they want, it just is split up between all the games.

857
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 2: That sounds great.

858
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:14,839
Speaker 1: You'd think this.

859
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,760
Speaker 3: Would be possibly contentious, but fortunately everyone trusted my dad,

860
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 3: who was the executor, to be scrupulously fair about the

861
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 3: whole process. Comment two says, Plus, how crappy of a parent?

862
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 3: Do you have to beat a loser kid over a

863
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 3: dream vacation? Comment three? They want to go on vacation

864
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 3: and he wants to pay for college. His parents already

865
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 3: don't support him, and now that he did the work

866
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 3: getting the cars valued, they want the money.

867
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 1: Pushmatic.

868
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that, folks, is the end of that story.

869
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: Hey, John og host here, we're gonna get back to

870
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,439
Speaker 2: this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads

871
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 2: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

872
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 4: I started dating my best friend's ex husband.

873
00:38:54,600 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: It went nuclear. I have been best friends with Anna

874
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: since we were eighteen in college. She married her now

875
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: X when she was twenty four, but left him three

876
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 1: years ago to move in with her a fair partner

877
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 1: a few states away. They have two boys together, eight

878
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 1: male and six mail. Her ex, who will call Ben,

879
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 1: got full custody and Anna didn't really fight for it

880
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,959
Speaker 1: and was happy to just pay child support. She's only

881
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: seen her boys less than five times since the divorce.

882
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: I'm a full time single mom. With a son of

883
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,239
Speaker 1: my own six mail. I'm a trust fund baby, so

884
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: that's what supports us.

885
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:29,800
Speaker 2: Good for you guys.

886
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Throwaway xfx H and

887
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

888
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 1: the ur slash Okay Storytime subredit. I'm the godmother to

889
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: both of Honor's boys, and we all live in the

890
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: same neighborhood and their home is just a five minute

891
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 1: walk away from ours. Ben works full time and sometimes

892
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: has to work late in the office, so I usually

893
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 1: babysit the boys. I've been in their life since they

894
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 1: were born, so they've always been comfortable around me. My

895
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: son and his sons are really close too, since they

896
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: grew up together and are pretty much brothers at this point.

897
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 4: It's a weird setup, but it works for us.

898
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: I've had feelings for Ben for the longest time, but

899
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: didn't act on it because I didn't want to ruin

900
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:11,839
Speaker 1: what we currently have. The divorce was hard on him too,

901
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to make things even more difficult.

902
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 1: I don't I don't do what I do for his

903
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: family because I have feelings for him or anything. I

904
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 1: genuinely love those two little boys. Last night, technically, just

905
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 1: a few hours ago, I dropped my son off at

906
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: his house for a sleepover, and he insisted that he

907
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: walked me home. His mother was staying for a couple

908
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: of weeks, so the boys had someone to watch over them.

909
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 1: We took the longer fifteen minute route and ended up talking,

910
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: and he told me that he's had feelings for me

911
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: but was too afraid to say anything.

912
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 2: Too God whoa win twinsies?

913
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: Well, long story, short week, hissed and now we're going

914
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: on a date next Friday.

915
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 2: Oh boy? And then surely be no consequences to these decisions?

916
00:40:56,239 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: Not at all? It was magic. But now my question

917
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: is should I tell Anna? While the split hurt our friendship,

918
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 1: I'm still in contact with her and we talk about

919
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 1: two times a month or so. She's told me that

920
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: she still loves Ben and misses her kids and how

921
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:16,800
Speaker 1: much she regrets leaving for richer man dang man. Oh.

922
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: Then she posts pictures all lovey dovey with him somewhere overseas.

923
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 1: She's been unstable for the last couple of years, which

924
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 1: is why I remained in contact with her as her

925
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: support system. But I sometimes consider cutting her off because

926
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 1: she's toxic. Ben knows that we still communicate, but has

927
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: told me that he didn't want to know anything about

928
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: her and what she's up to. So should I give

929
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 1: Anna Anna a heads up and talk to her about it?

930
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 1: Is she even owed an explanation. I'm just afraid that

931
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 1: she might go nuclear if she finds out and somehow

932
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: involve the kids. Advice would be helpful, thank you very much,

933
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 1: And we do have some comments with advice, but Dakota, I.

934
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 2: Want to hear yours. I mean, okay, my issue with

935
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 2: this is I feel like, ohp He's trying to be like,

936
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 2: what do I do so that I get out of

937
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 2: this without anything happening.

938
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, something's gonna happen.

939
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna have to face that and deal with it,

940
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 2: is what you're gonna have to do.

941
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

942
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 4: So it's like, I guess, which do you want to

943
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 4: deal with the least?

944
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: You know? Do you wanna end the friendship possibly or

945
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,280
Speaker 1: do you wanna I don't know what.

946
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 4: Is the other option.

947
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 1: I feel like that's all that can happen.

948
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 2: I feel like the only thing you can do is

949
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:32,280
Speaker 2: just be like ever after this has happened, it's what's happening. Yeah,

950
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 2: and I know that you're gonna feel something about it,

951
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 2: so we can either try to talk it out or

952
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 2: just like have space or like no longer be friends.

953
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 2: But like, if you're gonna go through with, you know,

954
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,439
Speaker 2: having a serious relationship with one of your best friends,

955
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 2: which I don't even know if she really is your

956
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 2: best friendly describing it, Yeah, you've been her support system,

957
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 2: but you're gonna have to be ready to completely let

958
00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 2: it go for the relationship.

959
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 1: But let's see what the comments say. Comming number one says,

960
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: why are you friends with her again? She cheated on

961
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,240
Speaker 1: her husband, left him for a richer or fair partner,

962
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 1: pretty much ditched her children, and then has the audacity

963
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: to say that she loves her ex and misses her kids.

964
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,479
Speaker 4: How many times have you seen her in the last

965
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 4: three years?

966
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 1: She doesn't have any right to know just yet, Wait

967
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:21,919
Speaker 1: and see what develops with Ben, and then tell her

968
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: she will most likely try to sabotage your budding relationship

969
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: when she finds out.

970
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 4: You and Ben should be prepared for that. Good luck.

971
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 1: And Opie responds saying, I sometimes ask myself the same question.

972
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 4: I guess it's the history.

973
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. She's lost friends over the years, and

974
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 1: I've pretty much been the only constant in her life.

975
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: And I'm not exactly sure about her logic, but I

976
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: do have a feeling that she's being somewhat honest about

977
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,479
Speaker 1: still being in love with Ben in her own twisted way.

978
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,919
Speaker 4: I've seen her about as many times as she's seen

979
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 4: her kids.

980
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm around a lot, and I see

981
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 1: her boys pretty much every day.

982
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 2: Dang. Okay, so she's not really your best friend. You've

983
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 2: seen her five times in three years. Yeah, you could

984
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 2: do what if you want. I just prepare for her

985
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,439
Speaker 2: to be upset. Of course she's gonna be mad. Yeah, Well,

986
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 2: like I don't even know if mad is that I would.

987
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 2: She's not going to like it now, so you know,

988
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 2: But is it really any of her business if she

989
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,399
Speaker 2: just up and left and like basically was like, I'll

990
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: just pay child's pour it outill hardly some of my kids.

991
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: Well got yourself into that, sorry, dude, Someone else responds,

992
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 1: there's a big lack of empathy and consideration here. You

993
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: should keep in mind that Anna is a human being

994
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 1: with her own story as well, and condemning her this

995
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: and condemning her this hard is a bit much. We

996
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: don't know her part of the story. What we do know, however,

997
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: is that she told OPI about her feelings and that

998
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,320
Speaker 1: they consider each other friends. Since everything else is subjective,

999
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 1: I'd say that we can all determine. I'd say all

1000
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: we can determine is that there's good that there's good

1001
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 1: reason to assume that Anna might want to be informed,

1002
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: and equally good reason to actually do so. So Opie,

1003
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 1: in my opinion, you should tell her. You don't need

1004
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: to take crap, and you can react to her reaction

1005
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: however you feel appropriate. But from so what we know,

1006
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: it seems like you should tell her that.

1007
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 4: And there is an update. Do we think she's gonna

1008
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 4: tell her?

1009
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she will because the Internet has told

1010
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 2: her to. I just think you need to know what

1011
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 2: you're You know, this is a nuclear arsenal you are

1012
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 2: messing around with here, so it's like you just have

1013
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 2: to own that, own it.

1014
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 4: But we do have an update. So, first of all,

1015
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 4: thank you for all the advice.

1016
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 1: I got a lot of mixed replies, ranging from telling

1017
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: her and not telling her, or letting Ben tell her.

1018
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: That's a good option. I didn't even think of that.

1019
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 1: So the day after I posted, I went to Ben's

1020
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,439
Speaker 1: house to help the kids with their homeschooling. As always, Ben,

1021
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: his mom, and the kids all surprised me with a

1022
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: big breakfast, which was really lovely. After that, Ben's mom

1023
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: said that she'd help the kids for now and that

1024
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 1: Ben and I had a little talk about Anna. He

1025
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: told me that he wants to tell her himself, since

1026
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,480
Speaker 1: he was the one who asked me out, and I agreed.

1027
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 1: Later in the day, I got an angry call from Anna,

1028
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 1: calling me a man stealer, what and a bunch of

1029
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: nasty things. Apparently, since we were friends, Ben was supposed

1030
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 1: to be off limits.

1031
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,840
Speaker 4: She told me how I stole the love of her life.

1032
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 1: I guess she wanted to come back after milking the

1033
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:16,800
Speaker 1: new guy.

1034
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,879
Speaker 2: She can steal anything. You threw it away. Yeah, it's

1035
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,280
Speaker 2: not your pro it's not yours anymore.

1036
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: Exactly. I'm not very good at dealing with confrontation, so

1037
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: I just hung up, blocked her, and cried, I'm pretty

1038
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: sure the friendship is over at this point and there

1039
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 1: is no going back. Ben later told me that when

1040
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: he told Anna, he got the same bs about how

1041
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: she still loved him wanted to come home et cetera.

1042
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 4: Then, when he said that he was going to start

1043
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 4: dating me.

1044
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: Gush, her tone change to her fighting him for custody.

1045
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 1: Ben assured me that he talked to his lawyers and

1046
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 1: it would be very unlikely that she would win, especially

1047
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,880
Speaker 1: since she's barely seen them since the divorce. It's also

1048
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: worth noting that Anna's new boyfriend is child free. She

1049
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: told me so, I doubt that he would relative the

1050
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 1: thought of a couple of kids wreaking havoc in his

1051
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: fancy condo in the city.

1052
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:08,320
Speaker 4: Friday's date was amazing. That's good.

1053
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 1: Ben took me out for a drive and we ended

1054
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 1: up having dinner on the beach with meals him and

1055
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 1: his mom cooked. Without boring you guys with too much detail.

1056
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 1: We're both into each other and have been for the

1057
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: longest time, two years for me and a year for

1058
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: him after he fully got over on him. He's always

1059
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 1: wanted to ask me out, but was too afraid to

1060
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: do so till his mom scared him by saying some

1061
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: other guy would snap me up. Thanks for the assist,

1062
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: Ben's mom. We already have a pseudo blended family thing

1063
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 1: going on. I mean, my son goes with them when

1064
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 1: they go camping, fishing, and all of the father son's stuff.

1065
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 1: Ben's pretty much the closest thing to a dad my

1066
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 1: boy has ever had. All We're definitely not rushing into

1067
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 1: things and have agreed that whatever happens between us stays

1068
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,359
Speaker 1: between us. He's still going to be there for my son,

1069
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 1: and I'm definitely going to be there for his kids.

1070
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 1: Adjustment shouldn't be hard because we're always around each other anyway.

1071
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: I spend just as much time at his place as

1072
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 1: I do in my own home. We both want the

1073
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: same things in life and are pretty much on the

1074
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 1: same page at the moment. I don't really want to

1075
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 1: push too much pressure on this, but it does feel

1076
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 1: like it could be a real thing. I'm still sad

1077
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 1: about the situation with Anna and how our friendship ended,

1078
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 1: but trading a toxic friend for a loving boyfriend is

1079
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 1: something that I would do any day of the week.

1080
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: I had to block her on everything, but I still

1081
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 1: get messages from some of our or my old friends

1082
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 1: asking me what was going on because they know that

1083
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 1: Anna is a bit nuts. So it was a bit

1084
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,240
Speaker 1: awkward having to explain the whole thing to a bunch

1085
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: of people.

1086
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 2: You know. Again, this is my whole beef with this

1087
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 2: story is it's I mean, everything was done right. It

1088
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 2: sounds like because it's like years after the divorce and

1089
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 2: they it main you know, it wasn't this like mischievous,

1090
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 2: insidious plot op. He had to like slowly like take

1091
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 2: bend exactly. But just know that, Like if you're gonna

1092
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 2: get with someone who was your friend's ex husband and

1093
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 2: they had a nasty divorce and she's all messed up

1094
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 2: about it, yeah, then you start dating him. Yeah, she's

1095
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 2: gonna hate that. Just like, don't even question if it's like, oh, well,

1096
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 2: can we work Nope, just know she's gonna hate you. Yeah,

1097
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 2: and or at least expect that. I mean, who knows,

1098
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 2: Like if you have a vulnerable conversation about it, who

1099
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 2: knows what could come of it?

1100
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? I feel like she you definitely knew how it

1101
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 1: was gonna turn out, and then it went exactly how

1102
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 1: you expected. And but it's fine because again, like you said,

1103
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 1: traded a toxic girl friend or like you know, friend

1104
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 1: that's a girl for a loving boyfriend.

1105
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 4: So it's a win in your case.

1106
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: There's a little bit more to this story. Overall, things

1107
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: are good. I may have lost a friend, but as

1108
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:54,799
Speaker 1: many of you pointed out, she wasn't much of a

1109
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 1: friend anyway. I'm not sure when we're planning on telling

1110
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:00,040
Speaker 1: the kids, but we already spend most holidays together, so

1111
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 1: there's no real rush if we wait. Any advice on

1112
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 1: this would be helpful. By the way, again, thanks Reddit.

1113
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: I think I needed to hear how toxic honor was

1114
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 1: that I needed to cut her off. As you guys said,

1115
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 1: it's none of her business now and edit, thank you

1116
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: guys so much for the kind responses and well wishes.

1117
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: Lots of people are asking me to update in the future,

1118
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 1: so maybe I might do so if the mods allow

1119
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 1: me to. Maybe when we get married ha ha ha.

1120
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 1: But still a lot to deal with regarding telling the

1121
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:28,760
Speaker 1: kids and dealing with Anna. But Ben and I talked

1122
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 1: and I'm confident that we can make it through. And

1123
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: that is the end of that story. Boom, pretty good. Yeah,

1124
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: you could probably with the kids. I mean, I've never

1125
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:45,919
Speaker 1: been in her situation, don't have kids, not married, uh,

1126
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: not divorced, whatever her situation is, but probably you know,

1127
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 1: wait for the relationship to get a little bit more

1128
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 1: established and like a little more serious and confident in

1129
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: the relationship and then and then maybe you could tell them,

1130
00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 1: you know, you don't want to tell them like the

1131
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 1: first week, your day and then break up and be.

1132
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 2: Like what Yeah. Again, it's like different depending on she

1133
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 2: just doesn't sound like she's actually your best friend. If

1134
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:12,879
Speaker 2: someone's close to you, I would ten out of ten

1135
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 2: times be like, hey, if I date your exeah, is

1136
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 2: that going to literally ruin our entire friendship right before

1137
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 2: anything happens. Yeah. So, but we didn't really have to

1138
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,360
Speaker 2: do that in this situation because she was toxic and

1139
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 2: just abandoned her family, so she I think there was

1140
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 2: a comment that was perfect. It was like, it's like

1141
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 2: putting a couch on the curb that has a big

1142
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 2: free sign on it and then calling the police on

1143
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:40,879
Speaker 2: the person who takes it.

1144
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:43,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's a great analogy.

1145
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:43,759
Speaker 2: Gave it up.

1146
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 1: That's exactly what happened.

1147
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 2: Shout out that comment or I can't. I don't know

1148
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 2: what your name was, but my best friend accused my

1149
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 2: husband of cheating.

1150
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 4: But I know it's not true, NAEs, it's not true.

1151
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: Sure about that? So?

1152
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 2: I twenty nine met my best friend Sarah twenty nine

1153
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 2: and husband thirty one when I was eleven, I just

1154
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 2: moved to a new country with my family and my

1155
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:11,280
Speaker 2: now sister in law introduced me to Sarah twenty nine.

1156
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 2: Now that were adults. We share some friends, but we

1157
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 2: each have different groups to do different things. By the way,

1158
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 2: this comes from user throwaway bad BF and if you

1159
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the our

1160
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subprend it. So usually I'm working in

1161
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 2: the office from nine am to two pm, and I

1162
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 2: have a thirty minute break that I usually take to

1163
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 2: have my second breakfast, and sometimes I go to my

1164
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 2: husband's office which is five minutes away walking or a

1165
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 2: cafe near my job. Sometimes I have to work out

1166
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:45,759
Speaker 2: of my office or go to another city. Every now

1167
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 2: and then, I mentioned to Sarah if I have to

1168
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:51,240
Speaker 2: travel for work during the week in casual conversation. Last week,

1169
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 2: I had to travel for work on Wednesday, but Tuesday

1170
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 2: night there was a red alert about the weather the

1171
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 2: next day, so my work thing was canceled and I

1172
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 2: stayed home with my two year old. My husband went

1173
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 2: out at six am to make sure his business was

1174
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 2: closed and put up some flood protection and by seven

1175
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 2: thirty am he was back at home making breakfast. It

1176
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 2: didn't start raining until one pm. At three pm, Sarah

1177
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 2: sent a message asking if I was at home already

1178
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 2: because it was flooding where I was traveling, and I

1179
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: just texted back, I'm home safe. We literally didn't go

1180
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 2: out until Friday. Saturday, Sarah and I go to the

1181
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 2: same gym class. She told me we needed to talk

1182
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 2: in private, so we went to my car and she

1183
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 2: told me, basically, quote, on Wednesday, I saw your husband

1184
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 2: with a woman and they were making out, and your

1185
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 2: kid was in the car, not with a kid.

1186
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 1: Leave them out of it.

1187
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 2: That kid's guilty. Why didn't that kid stop his dad?

1188
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,160
Speaker 4: Wow, the kid is the a hole here.

1189
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 2: I was frozen for a bit. Then I remembered that

1190
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 2: I was working from home with my husband and my

1191
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 2: baby for two days. I realized she was lying, but

1192
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 2: I didn't understand anything. I asked three times if she

1193
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 2: was sure it was this week's Wednesday. She confirmed it

1194
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 2: three times. I asked her about the time, and she

1195
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,879
Speaker 2: said about eleven am. I asked if it was during

1196
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 2: the red alert, and she said yes. I asked her

1197
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,880
Speaker 2: if she was one hundred percent sure, and she launched

1198
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 2: a whole description of my husband mackin with a gorgeous

1199
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 2: Barbie lookalike blonde girl in his car in front of

1200
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 2: our kid near his office during the Red alert. So

1201
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,799
Speaker 2: he was putting my son at risk and cheating in

1202
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:35,399
Speaker 2: front of him.

1203
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:40,799
Speaker 1: Ew you but like, but he wasn't. If it was

1204
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 1: this Wednesday, then no. But if it was last Wednesday, okay, right.

1205
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 2: Because it's the time. The time's not timing right. Anyways.

1206
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 2: I told her my work thing was suspended because of

1207
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,280
Speaker 2: the Red alert, and we were both home the whole

1208
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:58,399
Speaker 2: time it was activated. She tried to say she got

1209
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 2: confused with the days, but she had confirmed it three times.

1210
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:07,359
Speaker 2: I told her to leave, and she left running. I

1211
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 2: just imagine, like.

1212
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 1: She just takes off in a sprint, running away from you,

1213
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,760
Speaker 1: say like can you you're wrong?

1214
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 2: Leave and she's just pure raw athletic power. I went

1215
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 2: home and did the whole betrayed spouse house search. There

1216
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 2: was no hidden phone. I have all the passwords to

1217
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:33,720
Speaker 2: every device in the house, and not for lack of trust.

1218
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:36,480
Speaker 2: It's because I manage part of his business and he's

1219
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 2: bad with passwords. I even looked after hidden emails, and

1220
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 2: the only thing he was hiding was his paranormal podcast

1221
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,799
Speaker 2: he listens to sometimes, Hey, embrace that buddy, what are

1222
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 2: you doing hight huh. That night I told my husband

1223
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 2: what was going on, and he denied ever cheating and

1224
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 2: even worse, disrespecting his own son that way, I believe

1225
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 2: him one hundred percent. There wasn't a change in his

1226
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 2: behavior or routine. He gave up his phone what He

1227
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 2: gave up his phone right away, and I told him

1228
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 2: I already checked everything in the house, and he told

1229
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 2: me to check his car. Then we decided to call

1230
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 2: Sarah together. She picked up the third call and she

1231
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 2: was crying. I told her to just tell me why

1232
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 2: she lied. She swore she wasn't lying, but told me

1233
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:23,879
Speaker 2: she got confused with Monday. I told her Monday, our

1234
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,200
Speaker 2: son was in daycare and we had breakfast during my

1235
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,479
Speaker 2: break So at what time did my husband go take

1236
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 2: our son out of daycare, go to pick up this

1237
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 2: girl to make out with in front of my baby,

1238
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 2: and then back to the daycare for me to pick

1239
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 2: him up and then have breakfast with me.

1240
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 4: Make it makes sense, Sarah.

1241
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:49,240
Speaker 2: You're not making any sense, Sarah. She cried more huh

1242
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 2: and told me she didn't know. So my husband told

1243
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 2: her to cut the crap if she had at least

1244
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 2: a shred of decency and tell us why she was lying.

1245
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,879
Speaker 2: She said she was sorry and hung up, and then

1246
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 2: had the audacity to block us. I told the friends

1247
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,919
Speaker 2: we had in common with her, and everyone is mad

1248
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 2: and can't explain what happened to her. She's not picking

1249
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,239
Speaker 2: up the phone, but sent a message back saying she

1250
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 2: was sick. Some of them asked her why she was lying,

1251
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 2: and she blocked them. Someone even called her mom, and

1252
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 2: she is just as shocked. No one understands what's going on. Dude,

1253
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 2: they called them mom.

1254
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 1: They must just be concerned.

1255
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 2: They're like, this isn't why would Sarah do this? Olkham's

1256
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 2: razor is basically that it's like, if it walks like

1257
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 2: a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

1258
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 2: Ah right, Yeah, it's that the most lie, the most

1259
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 2: sensible solution is often sure, the most likely. Sure. I

1260
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 2: think she just wants her husband. She's trying to break

1261
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 2: them up so that she can swoop in and take

1262
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 2: her man. Yeah, yeah, it's like it it's that simple,

1263
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 2: and she's probably just not very good at it.

1264
00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: Maybe she's not the best I.

1265
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 2: Thought, baby, it was a crush, right, But my husband

1266
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 2: never liked her that much, so he didn't pay attention

1267
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 2: to her. She isn't even added to his socials because

1268
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 2: she never liked her when Sarah was his sister's friend

1269
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 2: or when she became my friend too.

1270
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 1: If anyone understands that, if anyone knows what that.

1271
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 2: Means throughout the translation in the chat for the love

1272
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 2: of God.

1273
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 4: But I'm thinking we can figure it out what context.

1274
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 2: But hey, OPI, I just want to tell you right away,

1275
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 2: people who like have like infatuations with others. It doesn't

1276
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 2: have anything to do with them liking them back. You know,

1277
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 2: like that guy who drove like his car through Jennifer

1278
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:42,439
Speaker 2: Aniston's front gate. I don't think he did it because

1279
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 2: he knows Jennifer Aniston likes him back. The point being,

1280
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 2: crushes can be one way, Opie. They don't interact unless

1281
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 2: it's necessary to say. She got a crush so big

1282
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:53,480
Speaker 2: she thought it was worth it to try to break

1283
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 2: a family apart is a stretch. I do know that

1284
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,320
Speaker 2: sometimes she gossips a little too much, or so time

1285
00:59:00,400 --> 00:59:03,400
Speaker 2: she talks about things she shouldn't, But I never thought

1286
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 2: it would develop into something this big. I had this

1287
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 2: girl at my side for really hard moments, and I

1288
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 2: had her back when she needed me.

1289
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: Uh uh.

1290
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 2: She was one of the first people I told about

1291
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 2: my wedding and pregnancy. I loved this girl since we

1292
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:21,520
Speaker 2: were little. I just don't understand and she's not talking

1293
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:26,600
Speaker 2: to anyone. Comments Before we get into those comments, do

1294
00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 2: we have any comments here? Do I ever? Oh?

1295
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 3: Boy?

1296
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1297
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:34,080
Speaker 1: I feel like this is just this is like, okay,

1298
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 1: what's going on over here?

1299
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 2: Yeah? Uh?

1300
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 4: Little rascal, little rascal? Little what's her name?

1301
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 2: Abe?

1302
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 1: What's her name is it? Amy?

1303
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 2: No?

1304
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 1: Sarah s Sarah, Sarah, Sarah? What are you doing?

1305
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 2: Sarah?

1306
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 1: Yeah? I feel like OPI, you can probably trust your

1307
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,920
Speaker 1: husband because there's more to the story. Who knows if

1308
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:58,640
Speaker 1: that's actually true, but you could probably trust your husband

1309
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 1: in that he doesn't like her, and she's just going

1310
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:05,120
Speaker 1: a little little cuckoo with with love, cuckoo with her

1311
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 1: crush of Opie's husband.

1312
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 2: She got that cuckoo crush cuckoo crush exactly.

1313
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:12,479
Speaker 1: Let's see what.

1314
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 2: The Internet has to say. Comment number one. She wants

1315
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 2: you to be single so you're free to hang out

1316
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 2: with her. Oh, she wants your husband to be free,

1317
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 2: but why she wanted to stir up drama? These are

1318
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:26,560
Speaker 2: all like potential reasons she's done this that a commenter

1319
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: is listing. Yep, she was mistaken, but regardless of her reason,

1320
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 2: she's not a good friend and you're right to distance

1321
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:36,520
Speaker 2: yourself from her. A reply is maybe misery love's company

1322
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 2: A jealousy seems to be the most logical explanation here.

1323
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,520
Speaker 2: This is the kind of crap I see my mom doing,

1324
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 2: just making up stuff about people in order to stir

1325
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 2: up crap because she's so miserable in her own life.

1326
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 2: Dang man, that do be going around comment to is

1327
01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:56,520
Speaker 2: Sarah having a mental breakdown? It would be very strange

1328
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 2: if she was previously a good friend and then suddenly

1329
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 2: starts sabbage taujing your relationship, not you, but someone else

1330
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:06,640
Speaker 2: should take her for a mental health check. Reply. As

1331
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:08,760
Speaker 2: a former nurse, this is the first thing that popped

1332
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 2: into my mind, especially when we learn how she responds

1333
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:14,080
Speaker 2: to others who find out. It looks like so much

1334
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 2: more than jealousy. She is the right a she's in

1335
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 2: the right age range for certain types of mental health issues. Also,

1336
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 2: good job letting others know, including her mom, but keep

1337
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:25,959
Speaker 2: your eyes open. This could be the end of things

1338
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 2: with her, but it could certainly veer off into crazy town.

1339
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 2: To be safe. Comment three, What is Sarah's living situation?

1340
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 2: If you don't tell us she's married and lives with

1341
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:39,480
Speaker 2: a partner and went through a breakup, has kids, What

1342
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 2: does she do for work, etc. How often do you

1343
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 2: guys hang out. I'm assuming she is single, as you

1344
01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:47,560
Speaker 2: called her mom and not her partner, but telling us

1345
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 2: a little more about her life might shed some light

1346
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 2: on why she's acting so crazy. Can you think back

1347
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 2: whether she's ever said anything negative about your husband before?

1348
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 2: Have you spoken to your sister in law about this?

1349
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 2: What does she think? Maybe the two of you should

1350
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 2: pay Sarah a visit. Perhaps going without your husband might

1351
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 2: make her more willing to tell you why she's making

1352
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 2: stuff up about him, And maybe she had a brain tumor.

1353
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:15,959
Speaker 2: This is so strange. I honestly don't know without hearing

1354
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 2: a bit more about her life. Opie says she's single

1355
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 2: and never really liked being in relationships with no bad breakups.

1356
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:24,880
Speaker 2: She works from home in her field and was happy

1357
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:27,280
Speaker 2: with it. Our group of friends are her longest and

1358
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:30,920
Speaker 2: I would say main friendships, but she also has a

1359
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 2: healthy social life outside of us. You know, if she

1360
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,960
Speaker 2: wants to make plans, she has people to do them. Also,

1361
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,840
Speaker 2: my husband and Sarah are not like rude to each other,

1362
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 2: but Sarah knows that she isn't his favorite friend of mine,

1363
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 2: but she never said something bad about him, at least

1364
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 2: to my face. She was still invited to every cookout,

1365
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:50,840
Speaker 2: birthday or stuff like that. She was welcome in our

1366
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 2: house and treated like any other guest. We usually see

1367
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 2: each other once a week outside the gym, sometimes with

1368
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 2: other friends, sometimes with my kid, sometimes alone. We don't

1369
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 2: have a set schedule, but we make time. I admit

1370
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 2: my sister in law went crazy on her on messages,

1371
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:08,440
Speaker 2: but she is currently living abroad, so I would say

1372
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 2: that bridge is burned. Some friends are suggesting mental health

1373
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 2: issues because she never did anything like this. But she's

1374
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 2: still not talking and there's an update. I think maybe

1375
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:19,520
Speaker 2: it's not a crush.

1376
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe maybe there's a little more going on here now.

1377
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 2: And I have a little bit more Awkham on my razor.

1378
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 2: I'm starting to see that maybe it is like the

1379
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,800
Speaker 2: I want my flan, Yeah, I don't and I and

1380
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 2: I don't like your husband because he doesn't like me. Yeah.

1381
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,360
Speaker 1: I think it definitely could be like she just needs

1382
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:42,680
Speaker 1: a friend, Like, yeah, maybe she's going through something and

1383
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:48,800
Speaker 1: she's missing her friends, or like maybe maybe expecting OP

1384
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 1: to be there for her a little bit more, even

1385
01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 1: though she did mention that she has like more friends

1386
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:55,160
Speaker 1: and more of a support group or something, So I

1387
01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:57,880
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe she just yeah, it just feels like

1388
01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 1: she can't be the only single one. She's like, hey,

1389
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:04,960
Speaker 1: guys over here, And it could just be the kind

1390
01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 1: of thing like maybe she's just going through her own thing.

1391
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:09,960
Speaker 1: You can be friends again at some point, but while

1392
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 1: she's doing this and pulling all this crap, maybe not

1393
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:14,320
Speaker 1: the best time to hang out and see each other

1394
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:14,840
Speaker 1: all the time.

1395
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:20,080
Speaker 2: Let's see what's in the update. So ooh, mama, I

1396
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 2: got the truth finally and it was far more stupid

1397
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 2: than I thought too. Oh boy. So Sarah's mom told

1398
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 2: me to come to her house for a conversation with

1399
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:33,160
Speaker 2: Sarah and to bring a friend as a buffer. I

1400
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:36,560
Speaker 2: went for closure. She apologized a lot, but I literally

1401
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:38,880
Speaker 2: had to interrogate her to give me reasons, and I

1402
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:43,720
Speaker 2: finally got them. She lied because she was mad that

1403
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 2: I missed our girl's trip a five girl group for

1404
01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 2: the second time, once because I had a two month

1405
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:56,560
Speaker 2: old baby, which and this year because I had to

1406
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 2: work during August and it was the only month everyone

1407
01:04:59,040 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 2: else was free.

1408
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:04,240
Speaker 1: Your husband's cheating on you, Just come hang out with us, guy, Yeah,

1409
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 1: you don't have time because you like are married or something.

1410
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 4: And even though that's not the reason. Well, your husband's

1411
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:10,000
Speaker 4: cheating on you.

1412
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 1: I saw it.

1413
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:15,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, So also give him custody though, so that you're

1414
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 2: free all the time.

1415
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and quit your job? Cut? Oh care about real?

1416
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:21,439
Speaker 2: Could this be real?

1417
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:23,040
Speaker 1: Listen?

1418
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:24,360
Speaker 2: It could?

1419
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 1: It to me?

1420
01:05:25,400 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 2: Totally? Could do some people?

1421
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,440
Speaker 1: I know it could.

1422
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:32,000
Speaker 2: I had traded my vacations for December and extra day

1423
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 2: as they owed me, so I'll be out of the

1424
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:37,600
Speaker 2: country from December to January tenth, and mister Birthday in

1425
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:41,480
Speaker 2: December and other winter activities in January. Her reasoning was

1426
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:44,439
Speaker 2: that if I thought my husband cheated, she was sure

1427
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:46,680
Speaker 2: I would leave, but he wouldn't let me take my

1428
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:49,240
Speaker 2: son abroad for too long without him, so I would

1429
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 2: be forced to stay, but would be able to travel

1430
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:55,880
Speaker 2: during my husband's custody time. You were trying to like

1431
01:05:57,040 --> 01:06:00,920
Speaker 2: home wreck these people over like a ski trip.

1432
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:05,920
Speaker 4: We're gotta hit the slopes. It's important. God, I'm important.

1433
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 2: I don't know whether to be like impressed at your

1434
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:13,600
Speaker 2: dedication for hitting the slopes or horrified at your lack

1435
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:14,680
Speaker 2: of priorities.

1436
01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:20,560
Speaker 1: She was probably like really behind Gwyneth Paltrow and being

1437
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:22,800
Speaker 1: like she, yeah, she missed a whole half day of skiing.

1438
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:26,840
Speaker 2: She was just being mean and selfish because of a

1439
01:06:26,880 --> 01:06:29,240
Speaker 2: trip that I missed and a birthday.

1440
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:31,040
Speaker 1: She thought it would be okay to.

1441
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 2: Break my son's family apart so she can have all

1442
01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 2: of her friends for attention. I told her to never

1443
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:41,919
Speaker 2: contact me again and to avoid me everywhere. Don't come

1444
01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 2: to my house, don't call me. We're done. My friends

1445
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,440
Speaker 2: are aware to not invite me to things if she

1446
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:50,920
Speaker 2: is going to be there. But everyone is mad at her,

1447
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:55,840
Speaker 2: so she is the one not being invited honestly, like, yeah,

1448
01:06:56,200 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 2: that is what you do. What has been done is

1449
01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 2: there's I have no thing to say, yeah, other than like,

1450
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 2: my god, what a horrible friend.

1451
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, because that like because what if it worked, what

1452
01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:09,640
Speaker 1: if he wasn't home and he was out of the

1453
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:12,360
Speaker 1: house and she was like, holy crap, my husband is

1454
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 1: totally cheating on me in front of my child.

1455
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 2: She tried to she's doing She tried to break up

1456
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 2: a family, home wreck a family for like having one

1457
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:23,280
Speaker 2: more friend around, like an aspen like you do the

1458
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:27,120
Speaker 2: Aspen trip, Like I just like, really like having five

1459
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:30,280
Speaker 2: friends instead of four, because five is a prime number.

1460
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 2: And we're like and we're like the main characters exactly.

1461
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 2: It's like if one of us isn't there, it's like

1462
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 2: I even enjoy it.

1463
01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:41,160
Speaker 1: Give him all the custody of your child and come,

1464
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:43,520
Speaker 1: come skew with us, Come dance with us.

1465
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:47,480
Speaker 2: Girl, let's finish this. This is painful as heck, I

1466
01:07:47,560 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 2: know it does, but it'll get better. I would have

1467
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:51,600
Speaker 2: been able to forgive and work on things if she

1468
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:56,440
Speaker 2: was having mental health issues or substance problems, but she wasn't.

1469
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:59,680
Speaker 2: I actually sent her mother recommendations for mental health professionals

1470
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:04,240
Speaker 2: during that week. Almost twenty years of friendship down the drain,

1471
01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:09,440
Speaker 2: dang man, and you know what, hey because of her.

1472
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:13,280
Speaker 2: Because of her, I treat my closest friends like family,

1473
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:15,880
Speaker 2: because apart from my husband's family, I only have my

1474
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,479
Speaker 2: sister in this country. I make time for them, I

1475
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:21,400
Speaker 2: pay attention and help them when I can. I thought

1476
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 2: she wanted the best for me as much as I

1477
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:26,400
Speaker 2: wanted the best for her. But lesson learned, I guess

1478
01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:30,280
Speaker 2: and that is the end of that story.

1479
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:33,000
Speaker 1: Wow, case closed.

1480
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:37,559
Speaker 2: Case closed. You know what, You can find a new group. Yeah, well, no,

1481
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:39,320
Speaker 2: you don't need to find a new group, because it

1482
01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:41,439
Speaker 2: sounds like Sarah's gonna add it to find a new group.

1483
01:08:41,520 --> 01:08:47,240
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, ugh ugh, yeah, Hey it's Sam.

1484
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:49,040
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three

1485
01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 2: bits of ads from our sponsors that keep the show alive.

1486
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:55,400
Speaker 1: My friend invited her friend to my house while I'm

1487
01:08:55,439 --> 01:08:56,400
Speaker 1: away on vacation.

1488
01:08:58,160 --> 01:08:59,880
Speaker 2: Your house is her house.

1489
01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:05,439
Speaker 1: I admittedly put myself in this predicament last summer, I

1490
01:09:05,479 --> 01:09:08,400
Speaker 1: reluctantly gave my friend permission to invite her friend and

1491
01:09:08,439 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 1: son to swim with her while she was at my

1492
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:12,920
Speaker 1: house house sitting by the way. This comes from a

1493
01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 1: sweet lye b r LA And if you want to

1494
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:17,679
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the our slash Okay

1495
01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:21,240
Speaker 1: storytime sepreddit. So I also have made it easy for

1496
01:09:21,280 --> 01:09:23,559
Speaker 1: her to push the boundaries of using my house. We

1497
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,639
Speaker 1: live ten minutes from each other. We help each other

1498
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:28,200
Speaker 1: for vacations because we both have lots of pets. It's

1499
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:29,800
Speaker 1: nice to have someone you trust to take care of

1500
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:32,200
Speaker 1: them twice a day. But since she comes twice a

1501
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:33,960
Speaker 1: day and it's so close to her house, she will

1502
01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:36,360
Speaker 1: spend most of the day at my house. She will

1503
01:09:36,360 --> 01:09:38,680
Speaker 1: work from my house, and she has her son with

1504
01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:41,479
Speaker 1: her too. She takes full advantage of getting them both

1505
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:44,160
Speaker 1: out of her small condo for a while. I'm okay

1506
01:09:44,160 --> 01:09:46,760
Speaker 1: with it, even though I don't make myself quite that

1507
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:49,240
Speaker 1: at home when I take care of her house and

1508
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:52,160
Speaker 1: pets when she's gone. I'm more annoyed.

1509
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 4: By how she went about asking to have this friend over.

1510
01:09:55,280 --> 01:09:57,720
Speaker 1: Even though I know this other person fairly well, like

1511
01:09:57,840 --> 01:10:00,280
Speaker 1: going to the same events over the years, I only

1512
01:10:00,280 --> 01:10:02,559
Speaker 1: know her through my friend. I'd never text her myself

1513
01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:05,559
Speaker 1: to hang out exclusively. She put her. She put me

1514
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:08,680
Speaker 1: in an awkward position by telling the person that she

1515
01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:10,960
Speaker 1: was going to ask to ask me. Oh, that is

1516
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,280
Speaker 1: weird having the mutual friend asked for permission to hang

1517
01:10:14,320 --> 01:10:17,880
Speaker 1: out to invite herself over, that is kind of yeah.

1518
01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,320
Speaker 1: She even said that they wouldn't even go in the house,

1519
01:10:20,439 --> 01:10:22,920
Speaker 1: just go through the gate. She would probably understand, but

1520
01:10:23,040 --> 01:10:26,879
Speaker 1: it felt awkward to say you can come, but not her. Yeah,

1521
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:29,280
Speaker 1: we have a VACA coming up, and I know that

1522
01:10:29,280 --> 01:10:31,040
Speaker 1: she's going to think that she can do this again.

1523
01:10:31,479 --> 01:10:34,840
Speaker 1: How can I retract the invite? I thought about doing

1524
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:37,720
Speaker 1: the cowardly my husband said no, but I think that

1525
01:10:37,760 --> 01:10:39,720
Speaker 1: they would take it as my husband not liking them

1526
01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:42,559
Speaker 1: or something. I know it's my house and there's actual

1527
01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:46,320
Speaker 1: technical reasons to say no, for liability reasons. I'm not

1528
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 1: that uptight, and I trust both of these people. I

1529
01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:49,880
Speaker 1: just don't want all.

1530
01:10:50,280 --> 01:10:52,439
Speaker 4: I just don't want a bunch of people in my

1531
01:10:52,479 --> 01:10:53,679
Speaker 4: house while I'm not there.

1532
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,040
Speaker 1: And there are some comments, but how do you how

1533
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:58,880
Speaker 1: do you think that she should retract this invite with

1534
01:10:59,000 --> 01:10:59,559
Speaker 1: your mouth?

1535
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:04,320
Speaker 2: Oh, by saying hey, nah, you can't do that. Yeah, actually,

1536
01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:06,960
Speaker 2: don't don't come in my house. I shouldn't feel like

1537
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:09,439
Speaker 2: it's like I'm, you know, leaving the house to my

1538
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:11,760
Speaker 2: teenager who's gonna throw a party in it, while I'm

1539
01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:13,280
Speaker 2: for something like right.

1540
01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:16,080
Speaker 1: But we do have some comments. Comments Number one says,

1541
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,120
Speaker 1: I don't really get why you would care, since you

1542
01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:20,760
Speaker 1: are not that uptight and you trust both of these

1543
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:23,120
Speaker 1: people after all, But if you don't want guests, to

1544
01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:25,880
Speaker 1: tell her no, and blame the liability issue. I mean,

1545
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:28,080
Speaker 1: it's real, but it's going to sound kind of lame.

1546
01:11:28,479 --> 01:11:29,519
Speaker 1: Don't blame your husband.

1547
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:32,439
Speaker 4: That is even lamer if you're doing it.

1548
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:34,880
Speaker 1: Because of how she asked. That seems kind of petty.

1549
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,439
Speaker 1: What I'd be curious about, though, is what the actual

1550
01:11:37,479 --> 01:11:40,200
Speaker 1: truth is. Since you don't really say can you finish

1551
01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:43,479
Speaker 1: this sentence? I really don't want you having people over

1552
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:48,040
Speaker 1: when I'm not there because because uh, be honest with

1553
01:11:48,080 --> 01:11:50,840
Speaker 1: yourself and then decide what to do. I guess not

1554
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:53,280
Speaker 1: the a hole, but I don't really get it as presented.

1555
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:59,439
Speaker 1: Coming to No. Two says not the ahole. This is

1556
01:11:59,520 --> 01:12:02,679
Speaker 1: your You have every right to ask for anyone coming

1557
01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:05,720
Speaker 1: into your uh coming in to respect your space. It

1558
01:12:05,800 --> 01:12:08,519
Speaker 1: feels like maybe saying yes to this guest will open

1559
01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:10,519
Speaker 1: the door to her inviting more people over to your

1560
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:13,000
Speaker 1: house while you're out. The fact that she mentioned that

1561
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:15,760
Speaker 1: they will go around the gate and not through your

1562
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:17,640
Speaker 1: house seems like she already knows that you wouldn't be

1563
01:12:17,680 --> 01:12:19,840
Speaker 1: that comfortable with this. But that doesn't mean the guest

1564
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:22,400
Speaker 1: won't be in your house, like to use the bathroom.

1565
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:25,040
Speaker 1: Just to be honest, just be honest with her and

1566
01:12:25,080 --> 01:12:27,599
Speaker 1: tell her that you and your husband just aren't comfortable

1567
01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:30,519
Speaker 1: having people over while you're out on top of safety

1568
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:33,680
Speaker 1: and liability concerns. If this is a true friend that

1569
01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:36,360
Speaker 1: wants to keep this mutual pet sitting agreement going, she

1570
01:12:36,479 --> 01:12:39,880
Speaker 1: will respect your wishes and Commentary number three says, it's

1571
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,080
Speaker 1: nice to have someone you trust to take care of

1572
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:43,240
Speaker 1: them twice a day.

1573
01:12:43,880 --> 01:12:44,599
Speaker 2: How nice?

1574
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,200
Speaker 1: Nice enough to allow this, but not so bad that

1575
01:12:47,240 --> 01:12:51,440
Speaker 1: you pay someone who doesn't ask to use the pool. Personally,

1576
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:53,840
Speaker 1: it wouldn't bother me if my friends came over. If

1577
01:12:53,880 --> 01:12:56,439
Speaker 1: it did bother me, I would stop asking them. You're

1578
01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:57,280
Speaker 1: the a hole.

1579
01:12:57,439 --> 01:12:59,360
Speaker 4: Big words, big words coming from this commentary.

1580
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:01,960
Speaker 2: I mean like it's her house.

1581
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 1: Ohpy Your responds to this comment saying I'm fine with

1582
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:08,360
Speaker 1: my friend, not my friend's friend. We've got an update, everyone,

1583
01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:11,240
Speaker 1: let's get right and do it. I haven't spoke to

1584
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:13,720
Speaker 1: my friend about this original issue yet, but I am

1585
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:17,360
Speaker 1: currently pet sitting for her, and now I'm definitely thinking

1586
01:13:17,439 --> 01:13:19,800
Speaker 1: that I'm being taken advantage of based on what she

1587
01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:23,479
Speaker 1: did this weekend. Our usual arrangement is that I take

1588
01:13:23,479 --> 01:13:25,599
Speaker 1: her small dog to my house and she will split

1589
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:27,920
Speaker 1: up her other three dogs. With me and her other

1590
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:31,439
Speaker 1: family member. She has a small condo and no yard

1591
01:13:31,479 --> 01:13:34,240
Speaker 1: and usually walks all her dogs, so she will leave

1592
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:36,120
Speaker 1: me just one big dog of the house for me

1593
01:13:36,240 --> 01:13:39,120
Speaker 1: to let in and out two times a day. The

1594
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:41,759
Speaker 1: other dogs go to a family member's house with a yard,

1595
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:45,120
Speaker 1: so each pet sitter only ever deals with two of

1596
01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:48,400
Speaker 1: the four dogs. She is totally fine with this arrangement

1597
01:13:48,439 --> 01:13:50,680
Speaker 1: since I also have my own pets at home and

1598
01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:53,920
Speaker 1: I have no room for an additional four dogs. But

1599
01:13:54,080 --> 01:13:57,000
Speaker 1: this time when we planned this, I was still pregnant

1600
01:13:57,040 --> 01:14:00,599
Speaker 1: and now I'm five months postpartum, so she didn't want

1601
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:02,920
Speaker 1: to have me doing so much back and forth. She

1602
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:05,040
Speaker 1: told me that I would just have the small dog

1603
01:14:05,120 --> 01:14:07,240
Speaker 1: and her others would be split at her other family

1604
01:14:07,280 --> 01:14:12,439
Speaker 1: member's house. I now distinctly remember this conversation because I

1605
01:14:12,479 --> 01:14:15,400
Speaker 1: almost said no, since I knew I would have a baby.

1606
01:14:16,080 --> 01:14:18,759
Speaker 1: Maybe that's what she said to get me to agree

1607
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:21,360
Speaker 1: to this in the first place. Well, we never spoke

1608
01:14:21,360 --> 01:14:23,799
Speaker 1: about it until last week, just to finalize the details

1609
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:26,680
Speaker 1: about when I would get that one little dog, or

1610
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:30,880
Speaker 1: so I thought. A few days ago, she calls me

1611
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,320
Speaker 1: and says that she is leaving her big dogs at

1612
01:14:33,320 --> 01:14:35,840
Speaker 1: her sister's new house, which is closer to me, and

1613
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:38,519
Speaker 1: that would be easier on me. They would just be

1614
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:41,040
Speaker 1: in the yard and I do the usual two times

1615
01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:44,360
Speaker 1: a day feats. Now, I admit I didn't remember at

1616
01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:47,120
Speaker 1: the time that I never agreed to go anywhere and

1617
01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:49,920
Speaker 1: I would just have the small dog. My baby brain

1618
01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:53,120
Speaker 1: has me questioning my own memory, so in the moment,

1619
01:14:53,200 --> 01:14:55,960
Speaker 1: I just said okay, without thinking about it. I only

1620
01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:57,920
Speaker 1: asked if I needed a key to her sister's house,

1621
01:14:57,960 --> 01:15:00,120
Speaker 1: and she said that they would meet me there on

1622
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:02,519
Speaker 1: Friday to give them to me and show me where

1623
01:15:02,560 --> 01:15:05,200
Speaker 1: things are, and also give me the small dog. I

1624
01:15:05,240 --> 01:15:07,840
Speaker 1: start thinking, I know her sister has a bunch of

1625
01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:10,280
Speaker 1: cats that she rescues, but I know that she is

1626
01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:12,800
Speaker 1: still moving into this new house, so I assumed that

1627
01:15:12,840 --> 01:15:13,960
Speaker 1: the cats were taken care of.

1628
01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:15,760
Speaker 2: This was a mistake.

1629
01:15:16,520 --> 01:15:18,920
Speaker 1: When I get to the house, her sister meets me

1630
01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:21,400
Speaker 1: outside while I put the little dog's crate in my car.

1631
01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:23,880
Speaker 1: She says to me, I don't want to overwhelm you,

1632
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:25,880
Speaker 1: but it's a lot. Did my sister tell you about

1633
01:15:25,920 --> 01:15:28,479
Speaker 1: the cats and the meds? So she has to watch

1634
01:15:28,520 --> 01:15:30,919
Speaker 1: the cats? Now? Is that what's happening.

1635
01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:34,519
Speaker 2: Dude, Hi, I know that this is about to happen

1636
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:37,559
Speaker 2: right now, But where you told anything that you needed

1637
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:37,920
Speaker 2: to know?

1638
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:43,200
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's crazy. Uh. About that time, my

1639
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:46,880
Speaker 1: friend is coming over and she laughs and tells her sister, no,

1640
01:15:47,080 --> 01:15:50,600
Speaker 1: I haven't told her yet, and her sister gasps, you

1641
01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:56,439
Speaker 1: didn't tell her. I feel confused. My friend doesn't ask,

1642
01:15:56,680 --> 01:15:58,960
Speaker 1: just tells me that I'll need to throw some food

1643
01:15:59,040 --> 01:16:02,040
Speaker 1: to the four cats, and her sister adds one of

1644
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:04,680
Speaker 1: them needs medication once a day, and you don't have

1645
01:16:04,760 --> 01:16:07,880
Speaker 1: to do litter because I have two litter robots. I'll

1646
01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:10,960
Speaker 1: pay you. And by the way, our parents' dog is

1647
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,439
Speaker 1: here too, and gets meds.

1648
01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:17,200
Speaker 2: Okay, holy crap this you have Now, this is a

1649
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:20,360
Speaker 2: full time job. Yeah, plus over time. Now.

1650
01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:26,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're looking at seven animals that aren't hers. No,

1651
01:16:27,439 --> 01:16:30,080
Speaker 1: I'm not dying. I did that wrong.

1652
01:16:30,520 --> 01:16:34,639
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie though, I'm saying I can't do this. Yeah.

1653
01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:36,600
Speaker 2: I know that this is messing your stuff up, but

1654
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:39,400
Speaker 2: you didn't tell me this. I can't do this. So

1655
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:42,400
Speaker 2: you can feel like this is on me, because I

1656
01:16:42,439 --> 01:16:44,240
Speaker 2: know it's not because you didn't tell me any of this.

1657
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:47,600
Speaker 2: So good luck figuring this out. I can't do it.

1658
01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:50,280
Speaker 2: I can take care of one dog. I can take

1659
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:53,439
Speaker 2: care of the one dog. Everything else you're gonna have

1660
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:53,960
Speaker 2: to figure it out.

1661
01:16:54,160 --> 01:16:57,400
Speaker 1: I am postpartum, so it's not like I'm in you know,

1662
01:16:57,920 --> 01:17:02,960
Speaker 1: perfect uh like healed health, perfect mental state to take

1663
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:07,519
Speaker 1: care of nine animals plus my own. Yeah, I know

1664
01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:10,360
Speaker 1: what I should have done, But again I was still thinking.

1665
01:17:10,439 --> 01:17:12,639
Speaker 1: Maybe we did talk about the cats when we talked

1666
01:17:12,640 --> 01:17:16,000
Speaker 1: about her moving, but my baby brain is not to

1667
01:17:16,040 --> 01:17:19,360
Speaker 1: be trusted. I was also put on the spot. They

1668
01:17:19,360 --> 01:17:23,439
Speaker 1: were literally packing the cars for their trip. After I

1669
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:26,600
Speaker 1: left that whirlwind, I remembered her sister just closed on

1670
01:17:26,640 --> 01:17:28,920
Speaker 1: this house a few months ago, and I verified this

1671
01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:31,240
Speaker 1: in my texts to my friend about it. She has

1672
01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:33,760
Speaker 1: been slowly moving from her parents to this new house

1673
01:17:33,800 --> 01:17:36,320
Speaker 1: because she has a bunch of rescue cats, So this

1674
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:39,200
Speaker 1: was never part of the original pet sitting agreement we

1675
01:17:39,320 --> 01:17:43,519
Speaker 1: made months before. Then. I know for sure that I

1676
01:17:43,520 --> 01:17:46,080
Speaker 1: didn't agree to the parents' dog because she told me

1677
01:17:46,280 --> 01:17:48,839
Speaker 1: once I was at the house and gave some excuse,

1678
01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:50,479
Speaker 1: why don't even.

1679
01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:53,800
Speaker 2: Remember, Please tell me that you did not let them

1680
01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:57,599
Speaker 2: just leave. I know that they're just packing the car.

1681
01:17:58,280 --> 01:18:03,000
Speaker 1: No, it sounds like she did. Yeah yeah, I think yeah,

1682
01:18:03,000 --> 01:18:07,400
Speaker 1: because after I left that whirlwind. Yeah yeah, so, oh

1683
01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:10,640
Speaker 1: my gosh, this poor poor woman with baby brain. My

1684
01:18:10,840 --> 01:18:13,599
Speaker 1: friend definitely just came up with this idea. I guess

1685
01:18:13,640 --> 01:18:16,240
Speaker 1: when she realized that it was way more convenient for

1686
01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:18,920
Speaker 1: her to bring her animals to her sister's house with

1687
01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:21,599
Speaker 1: a big yard instead of the other family member's house,

1688
01:18:21,640 --> 01:18:24,400
Speaker 1: where they would be in a smaller outdoor pen. She

1689
01:18:24,479 --> 01:18:26,960
Speaker 1: even mentioned when I was there Friday that she doesn't

1690
01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:29,680
Speaker 1: like the way that that person handles her dogs, so

1691
01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:34,640
Speaker 1: she manipulated me into pet sitting nine animals. I have

1692
01:18:34,720 --> 01:18:37,040
Speaker 1: the small dog at my house and four dogs and

1693
01:18:37,080 --> 01:18:41,160
Speaker 1: four cats at the sister's house, two pets that need meds.

1694
01:18:41,760 --> 01:18:44,880
Speaker 1: I am so pissed and don't know where to start

1695
01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:47,679
Speaker 1: the conversation we will definitely be having.

1696
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:51,920
Speaker 2: But folks, man, the correct response to this is you go,

1697
01:18:52,080 --> 01:19:00,479
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, and that's hard. You gotta if you're not, oh,

1698
01:19:00,600 --> 01:19:04,439
Speaker 2: if you can't do confrontation, like, that's gonna be rough,

1699
01:19:04,600 --> 01:19:08,880
Speaker 2: like we yeah, yeah, Oh god, I'm so mad.

1700
01:19:09,080 --> 01:19:11,280
Speaker 1: I think OP needs to do a little Google search

1701
01:19:11,600 --> 01:19:14,559
Speaker 1: since these other girls won't do it. Find the most

1702
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:17,679
Speaker 1: expensive pet center and be boop poop poop. Hello, friend,

1703
01:19:18,200 --> 01:19:20,920
Speaker 1: I found this person. I can drop them off at

1704
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:24,599
Speaker 1: their They're like this shelter, not shelter, but like this

1705
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:29,120
Speaker 1: doggye pet daycare thing. I'll send you the bill because

1706
01:19:29,200 --> 01:19:32,360
Speaker 1: I can't do this. I don't know what you expect

1707
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:32,920
Speaker 1: from me.

1708
01:19:33,439 --> 01:19:37,519
Speaker 2: What yeah, and then hang up. I just wish I

1709
01:19:37,520 --> 01:19:41,000
Speaker 2: could have like quantum leaped into Op's body, like at

1710
01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:44,360
Speaker 2: that exact moment that they're being like packing up the car, like,

1711
01:19:44,400 --> 01:19:45,800
Speaker 2: oh yeah, and by the way, you have all these

1712
01:19:45,840 --> 01:19:46,840
Speaker 2: cats and you have to take care of the doll

1713
01:19:47,280 --> 01:19:49,439
Speaker 2: because you actually have all the power in that scenario.

1714
01:19:49,520 --> 01:19:51,880
Speaker 2: They make it feel like you don't, but you do

1715
01:19:52,360 --> 01:19:54,960
Speaker 2: because you can tell them in that moment, Hey, I'm

1716
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,120
Speaker 2: not agreeing to this. I'm not gonna watch those other

1717
01:19:57,120 --> 01:19:59,880
Speaker 2: eight animals, but we're like leaving right now. It's like

1718
01:20:00,280 --> 01:20:02,559
Speaker 2: not anymore problem. Now you have to figure out who's

1719
01:20:02,600 --> 01:20:04,760
Speaker 2: gonna actually take care of all these animals exactly, because

1720
01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:06,480
Speaker 2: it's not me exactly.

1721
01:20:06,720 --> 01:20:10,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, oh my goodness, dang, there's a tiny bit

1722
01:20:10,080 --> 01:20:13,240
Speaker 1: more into the story. For comparison, when she takes care

1723
01:20:13,280 --> 01:20:15,479
Speaker 1: of my animals, I have two dogs and she lets

1724
01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:18,439
Speaker 1: them out two times a day, but can leave out,

1725
01:20:18,800 --> 01:20:20,640
Speaker 1: but she can leave them outside for longer if she

1726
01:20:20,680 --> 01:20:22,519
Speaker 1: can't make it, just to make sure that they come

1727
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:25,160
Speaker 1: in for the night. Two cats that are indoor and

1728
01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:28,040
Speaker 1: outdoor and have an automatic feeder, so she just has

1729
01:20:28,080 --> 01:20:30,599
Speaker 1: to check their water. And she works from.

1730
01:20:30,439 --> 01:20:32,280
Speaker 4: Home at my house, swims in my pool.

1731
01:20:32,439 --> 01:20:36,200
Speaker 1: And what the original post was about last summer her

1732
01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:38,479
Speaker 1: wanting to bring her friend and kid to my house

1733
01:20:38,520 --> 01:20:41,840
Speaker 1: to swim with her and her kid. Edit to add,

1734
01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:45,920
Speaker 1: I'm doing this for seven days. We never pay each other.

1735
01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:49,400
Speaker 1: This would be well over a thousand dollars worth of

1736
01:20:49,439 --> 01:20:52,360
Speaker 1: services with a pro Her sister has said that she

1737
01:20:52,400 --> 01:20:54,680
Speaker 1: would pay me, so I'm going to make invoices for

1738
01:20:54,760 --> 01:20:57,760
Speaker 1: her and the parents talk. I'll make one for my

1739
01:20:57,840 --> 01:20:59,800
Speaker 1: friend too, but tell her that she will pay me

1740
01:20:59,840 --> 01:21:02,639
Speaker 1: back by pet sitting. She won't know that I will

1741
01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:05,160
Speaker 1: be finding someone else, and I'm going to tell her

1742
01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:07,960
Speaker 1: the day before I leave for my trip. You're just

1743
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:11,960
Speaker 1: being this is absurd. It's absurd value as a friend.

1744
01:21:12,200 --> 01:21:13,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, a friend wouldn't do this.

1745
01:21:13,360 --> 01:21:16,599
Speaker 1: To you, So like, what are we doing? Yeah, it's

1746
01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:21,800
Speaker 1: just big issue. I stand with our original arguments of

1747
01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:24,599
Speaker 1: just like being no, no, sorry, I can't do that

1748
01:21:25,200 --> 01:21:26,400
Speaker 1: because it's like one dog.

1749
01:21:26,520 --> 01:21:28,440
Speaker 2: That's like she has to take care of eight animals

1750
01:21:28,479 --> 01:21:30,400
Speaker 2: at the sister's house and then she has the one

1751
01:21:30,479 --> 01:21:33,160
Speaker 2: small dog at her place. Yeah, so she would have

1752
01:21:33,200 --> 01:21:36,640
Speaker 2: to go take time out of Verdet to take care

1753
01:21:36,680 --> 01:21:39,680
Speaker 2: of eight animals while she also has a newborn to

1754
01:21:39,840 --> 01:21:44,759
Speaker 2: take care of, which is absurd. Newborns aren't allowed around

1755
01:21:44,880 --> 01:21:47,519
Speaker 2: cats and or like certain animals for like certain reasons

1756
01:21:47,560 --> 01:21:49,479
Speaker 2: and like all this stuff. It's like, so what are

1757
01:21:49,520 --> 01:21:52,120
Speaker 2: we doing? Like, come on, my.

1758
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:54,760
Speaker 4: Gosh, I'm glad that story is over.

1759
01:21:54,880 --> 01:21:58,120
Speaker 1: I hope she just is. It is over. That was

1760
01:21:58,200 --> 01:21:58,800
Speaker 1: the end of it.