WEBVTT - Ben Shapiro's Terrible Book: The Saga Continues 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:08.200 Hmm, what increasingly emotionally shattered from the collapse of civilization 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:17.000 and constant exposure to violence. My uh, this is Robert Evans. 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:22.040 I didn't like it, but at least it's true. Yeah, 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:28.680 so we started, we started the show. Now the beginning 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:31.440 of the episode, Chris, you could edit out that part 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:33.280 where I that I cry all the side, but just 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:36.880 start with robertson true. Also, listeners, I cry all the time. 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:45.440 Good stuff. Really, I was gonna say, it's a really 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:53.360 good start. It's vulnerable, it's honest, it's raw, it's relatable. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:59.320 I could go on. Someone interrupted me, well, you got 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:04.360 a edge to it. Little bite, Little Bite podcast. Yeah, 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:06.800 it feels like we started recording before we were ready 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:09.679 as if we did. We did. But that's the first 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:13.319 rule of broadcasting is to never be prepared or ready 0:01:13.480 --> 0:01:19.679 or competent um ever, never check and check. So this 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:22.880 is Behind the Bastards. It's normally a podcast about the 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:25.880 worst people in all of history. Um, but you know, 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:28.240 sometimes we like to have a little bit of fun. Uh, 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.200 And and this is gonna be a fun one because 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:36.200 we're we're diving back into Ben Shapiro's just unfathomably poorly 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:41.319 written fiction novel True Allegiance. This will be episode three, Yeah, 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:47.360 failure of prose. I wish that our listeners could see 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:53.080 the beautific smile that spread across Robert's face as he 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:57.600 was talking about the fun we will have today. Yeah, 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:01.720 we need this. It's nice to see the enjoy through 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:05.680 the screen. That smile is me thinking about the time. 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.000 Then Shapiro wrote in a character that was the captain 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.200 of the high school football team, and no one knew 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:15.400 his name, his name, no one knew his name. I mean, 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:17.760 how could you? How could you know the star football 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.600 player's name make at the back of his jersey. I 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:27.840 don't know nothing like that. Oh, God in heaven. Um, 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:31.320 So you may want to watch the first listen to 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:36.519 the first couple of episodes, But your past, that's good 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:40.079 to know. I forget regularly because of all of the 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:46.440 repeated exposure to police munitions. Um Leah. When we left off, 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.200 there was a fun moment where the character that been 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:54.080 wrote in as the governor of Texas, whose name is 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:59.680 Bubba Yeah, was talking to the character who is clearly 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:03.720 based on Ben Shapiro's own wife, who was the wife 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:07.320 of the character that Ben wants to be who was 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:13.480 the bear of a man combat General Bret Hawthorne. In anyway, Ellen, 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:17.280 his wife and the governor we're having a conversation about 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:21.200 how how bad it is, uh to be a governor 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:24.240 that the federal government refuses to support during a massive 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:30.280 emergency that requires the mobilization of all resources. Um. And yeah, 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:33.920 we were enjoying the irony of that, of of of 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:37.960 how been actually landed when such a thing happened for real. 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:40.960 And now we're going to move on to the next chapter, 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:43.760 which is a chapter about Sola DoD who, if you remember, 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.680 is our She's that rancher who's supposed to be Clive 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:50.960 and Bundy like fifty and hispanic, uh. And and the 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:55.120 lady Yeah, really turning that stereotype on its heels. Yeah, 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:57.320 because you can't call her racist. If he writes in 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:01.840 a Hispanic character, then it's not racist then exactly feminine 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:09.760 for you been non racist, Ben Shapiro, Yes, that's he's 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:13.040 he's he's he's got it. What chapter are we on now, 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:17.720 ship it's like seven or eight something like that. Yeah, 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:21.719 we're several chapters in too many chapters, in more than 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:24.799 one more chapters than this book should have had. Because 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:26.960 it should never have been written. It should have stayed 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:30.839 in Ben Shapiro's little head. Uh. When he needed to 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:32.720 feel like a big man, he could he could think 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:36.160 about the fake combat general that he invented to make 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:43.320 himself feel tall. Um. Yeah, and the short terrorists and 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:46.040 the short little the terrorists who are all short. Yes, yes, 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:50.200 good people are tall. Terrorists are short, except for bad 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.359 black people who are all also very large. That is 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:55.520 the world that Been Shapiro has created. That is the 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:59.480 is the that is the cosmology of the moral universe. 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:03.440 In bench A. Piro's it sounds complicated, but really it's 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:09.960 quite simple, really simple rules. Yeah, okay, So it starts 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.360 with Sola Dad waking up to a knock on her 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:15.560 door at two in the morning, and you know, there's 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:18.119 a Bundy's type standoff going on at her ranch because 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:23.080 she's not paying taxes, because the taxes in the all 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.880 the evil government stuff makes it impossible for her ranch 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:28.960 to actually work. And anyway, there's this So there's a 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:33.119 bunch of motorcycle gangsters and militia people calling themselves Sola 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:36.880 Dad Soldiers, and they're all hanging out and guarding her 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:42.000 house from the Feds. But they're starting to ah, that 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.080 would have been that would have been it, that would 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:49.880 have been it man Man, all right, it's fine. Yeah, 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:53.560 so uh yeah, they've cut off her power and uh yeah, 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:58.800 it's it's, it's it's it's a bad situation for Solo Dad. Uh. 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:00.640 She says, Oh that we a little bit of talk 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:06.760 about the some right wing media folks here. Um. Yeah, 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:10.120 even the occasional big media spread didn't seem to lift 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.240 her too much anymore. She felt like the whole game 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:14.640 was rigged. She was either hero or villain. She was 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:18.000 always the story, never Emilio and one. It was always 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:20.400 Chris Matthews on the nightly news calling her a trader 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:22.919 or Michael Savage calling her a freedom fighter. It was 0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:26.000 always one or the other. Yeah, I imagine Chris Matthews 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:32.080 would declare he didn't call Cleman Bundy a trader. Chris 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:38.880 Matthews is he's getting confused, rampaging leftist Chris man is 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:42.600 Ben Shapiro suggesting that, like there needs to be more 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:47.000 nuance and how people are described. He calls so many 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:51.520 people pure evil every day. Yeah. Well, and she's saying, 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:54.400 you know, Solo Dad's angry Emilio and one, if you remember, 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:56.839 she had to lay off her best worker, and he 0:06:56.920 --> 0:06:59.960 moved to Los Angeles, where his son was immediately killed 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:07.279 in a gang and instantly, Well, yeah, that's how it works. Yeah, 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:11.080 because Ben Shapiro understands the chunk of the city literally 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:14.600 thirty to forty five minutes away from where he lives 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:18.160 now and a half in traffic. Yeah, uh fucking great. 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:22.239 Right what you know? Right? What you know? The chunk 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:24.440 of the city you live in that you have never 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.480 ever in your entire life visited, because it scares you 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:33.160 very much to think about, right, Like, right, what you know? Okay, Well, 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.080 I don't know any black people's names, so I can't 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:38.000 name this second. So I'm just gonna say that no 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:42.760 one knows his name, right, what you know? Not being 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:44.880 able to call the black people in my life by 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.680 their names because I never bother to learn them. I 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:52.520 know that I will write about that fucking bit awesome. 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:56.480 So uh, Sola, dads, you know, in the standoff with 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.720 the government and every day like the kind of militia 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.360 that's that's arrayed to defend her appeals away a little bit, 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.040 you know, because people can't can't hang out all the 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:07.160 time but the SWAT team stays there, and eventually, as 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.440 things start to dwindle, she gets a knock on the 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:12.920 door in the early morning and a quote. A SWAT 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:15.760 officer stood there, his gun down by his side. When 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.480 she opened the screen door, he sidled in without permission, 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:21.920 holding his right arm out palm facing her, signaling for 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:25.240 her to keep quiet. He shut the door stealthily behind him. 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:32.040 I love yeah, because SWAT teams there, they they got 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:35.640 all that stealth door closing training, like unreal, like just 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.680 from like the reality of it, like okay, no, no 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:42.679 he didn't. But also, like, what a poorly written sentence. 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:51.760 It's terrible. It's a terrible sentence. Yeah, it's it's yeah, 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:55.360 yeah it was this grader, I would say, what a 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:59.920 precocious tenth grader. You know it needs someone to sit 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:01.600 down with him and tell him how to write. Well, 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:03.760 but he's got he's got the he's got the spunk. 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.560 You know, he's got he's got he's got gotten it 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:09.680 down on the pages. Half the battle. The other half 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:12.120 of the battle was knowing when not to publish something. 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:18.400 Still fighting that battle every day, Ben Ben's lost that 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:23.320 battle for a while. Um, are you dying what he's 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.520 there for. Well, he puts his He places his weapon 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:29.560 gently on the dining room table. When he took off 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:32.319 his helmet, she noticed his bright blue eyes. They stood 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:37.280 out more because they were They stood out more because 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.080 they were red rimmed. Whether from lack of sleep or 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:43.199 from crying, she couldn't tell. The man stood no more 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:46.840 than five ft ten, well built Caucasian, A thatch of 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:49.840 must brown hair, stood neatly on end. He moved forward 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:52.199 quickly and grabbed her by the arm. She could feel 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:54.440 his powerful grip through her thick row. Why would you 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:58.120 do that? That's a weird Okay, you need to get 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:05.120 out of here. He growled. Now, he growled quietly. He 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:10.560 growled quietly and gently, like a bear. She pushed his 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:14.400 hand off her arm. She pushed his hand off her arm. 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.640 Stood up to her full five ft two. Ben is 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.640 just obsessed with people's heights. I'm not going anywhere. Wait 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:22.240 wait did he wait? Did he just say five ft two? 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:28.360 He should did? Wait? Wait that was who cares what 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:33.760 I thought it was? And he's five ft ten she's 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:36.280 five ft two. Okay, so we know that there's like 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:41.439 a sizeable difference between them. That's why it's important, Like 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:46.480 she's been a character in this book already, like this, 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:50.120 like after multiple appearances. By the way, she's five too. 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.520 What a bad writer, What a bad writer. So she's like, 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.760 I'm not gonna go anywhere. Uh, And he's like, I 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.679 don't think you understand, Mr Meirez. They're coming for you tonight. 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.240 So this is the this is the good SWAT team guy, 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:06.079 the decent, decent cop who's like, I've got a warner there. 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:08.920 The Feds are coming in to murder this um, this 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:13.560 brave patriot. Um. She looked at the SWAT member, puzzled, 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.640 Why are you helping me? My cookies can't be that good, 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:21.040 he laughed softly. Maybe they are a pause, or maybe 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:24.000 I'm just sick of watching people get pushed around. Whatever 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:25.840 it is you need to get out of here tonight. 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:36.040 You know, I thought that was masterful. Um. So we 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:45.240 learned his name is Aidan Foster. Um. What a um? 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:47.760 And she tells she she tells, Aidan, you ready to 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:50.720 be a trader? Aidan? He shrugged. She walked over to 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:52.720 one of the cabinets, opened it, took out a jar. 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.040 Well we might as well split a cookie on that. 0:11:55.200 --> 0:12:09.160 Goddamn god. Beer so much. Uh, such bad writing. Um, unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable. 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:17.520 Oh God, damn it, Ben, Um, It's yeah, so okay, 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:22.160 they they do they do the cookie bit for a 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:28.559 little bit, like real interactions, like human beings do. Oh Jesus, 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:33.760 so they're they're they're attempted escape seems like a horrible idea. 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:37.120 Immediately she loads some stuff up in a backpack and 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:39.920 and heads out with this swat team guy and one 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:43.920 of his team members like sees that they're doing this. Uh, 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:46.840 and so Aidan throws a smoke grenade and then starts 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:52.120 firing wildly is how Ben describes it. Too high to 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:55.280 hit anyone. Uh. He heard at least two men curson 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.720 scatter in the distance. He could see the lights of 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:00.320 the choppers flash on. He dropped. By the way, we've 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:05.480 just switched to Aidan Foster's viewpoint from uh sol it 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.439 adds view point because Ben does that in the middle 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:10.240 of chapters that are supposed to be viewpoint chapters from characters, 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:13.920 because he's a good writer. Does he okay, my gosh, okay, 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:17.120 does he at least at least is it like there's 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.640 a page break and some asterisks. No, it's really jarring 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:23.920 and weird, and like the next paragraph is just now 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:26.640 we're in Aiden's point of view. Yeah, yeah, that's see, 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:29.280 that's that's that's how it feels. Uh yeah, that's definitely 0:13:29.320 --> 0:13:30.920 how it feels because we can't be it's an action 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.160 time right there, having a gunfight, and we can't we 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:38.319 can't be in a woman's perspective during a gunfight. Yeah, 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:43.160 so that's so awkward and weird something that he made 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:45.800 me maybe didn't even notice he was doing, probably for 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:49.600 the exact reason that you just said, like his subconscious 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.959 kicks in and he immediately changes the perspective. Right, Well, 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:57.560 surely she can't describe it. Yeah, it's it's okay. I 0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:59.400 hope I find it well. I guess I find a 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.280 disappointing that when he said that he was shooting too 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.440 high for it to hit anything, that he didn't say 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:08.600 how many feet and inches? Uh it was yeah, yeah, no, 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:11.120 of course not Um that that would have been well, 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.680 that would have been good to know. Um, we always 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:18.520 need to know that's higher than everybody. Come on, Uh, 0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:23.240 it is cool that one of Solida or yeah, somebody 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:26.800 yells at the cops go to hell you fascist assholes. 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:30.360 That's fun. Um yeah, so big, you know. And now 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:32.600 now a fight starts with her militia and all the 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:37.800 cops uh and Aidan Foster uh tries to get her, 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:39.760 you know, tells her, Mam, I recommend we get out 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.480 of here is sniper bullets zing around them. We get 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:45.840 another moment where we learn again, yet again, that Ben 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:50.160 does not understand anything about firearms. Um, because he refers 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.400 to the rounds being shot at them as heavy caliber 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.720 seven point six to millimeter rounds, which I assume means 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:57.960 he's referring to like seven six two by fifty one 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.720 nato uh, which is essentially three oh eight which is 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:07.520 a sizeable bullet, but it is also legally a handgun round. Um. 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:13.880 That's fun. Um. Yeah, what an idiot. And yeah, I 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:17.280 was gonna say, I was gonna say that, but yeah, 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.280 it's it's silly, it's it's just it's well. He's also 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.560 the guy who whenever guns are brought up, like libs 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.480 don't understand guns. They don't even know what they mean 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:28.520 when they talk about like well, Ben, it's not a 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:31.600 heavy caliber, it's it's an it's a normal caliber. It's 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.800 like a full sized rifle caliber. But it's it's anyway, whatever, 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:39.640 fucking I'm splitting hairs now. But I know it matters 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.960 to Ben that he'd be seen as understanding guns. It 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:47.120 matters to him that you know that he's wrong about this. Yes, yes, yes, 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.560 I did. It does so okay? Uh yeah, yeah. Do 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.000 you have a plan, shielded Foster about the ear splitting 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:55.680 wine of the bullets? Hell no, he said, but I'll 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:58.880 bet they do. In the distance, the cavalry was coming Sola, 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:02.480 dead soldiers least a dunn's dozen bearded gun toting men 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:06.160 on their steel horses, riding directly towards the swat lines. 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.880 She could see it in the distance. Pick, it's hog charge, 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:16.400 comparing them the Confederate cavalry. That's goods. Yeah, the good 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:24.960 guys here. Um My hand's gonna explode. Oh boy, formed 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:27.640 up and turned to face them. Guns at the ready, 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:31.280 which is when the chopper began to groan. It's sputtered, crackled, 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:33.880 and then dropped to the ground right at the swat lines. 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:38.600 It's spiraled out of controls. I don't know, because Ben 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:49.160 is a terrible fucking writers. Yeah, it's it's sure does nervous, Yeah, 0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:51.920 it kills all the SWAT guys. They're crying for their mothers. 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:56.320 Ben writes that in SoLIT ads horrified as they burned 0:16:56.360 --> 0:17:00.560 to death. What w they get out of there? Because 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.520 the chopper randomly falls out of the sky and kills 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:06.560 all the Swat No, no, it turns out I think. 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.120 I think what happens is Aidan Foster, the SWAT team 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:12.639 member who just couldn't see her get killed, shot the 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:19.240 helicopter out of the air. Still men wait, So he switches. 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:24.600 He switches the narrative to talk from Aiden's point of view, 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:30.160 but cannot describe Aiden doing that to the helicopter. No, 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:34.160 of course, not just no, we're left too. We're left 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:37.119 to piece that together after it gets shot out of 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.760 the sky. And if he didn't do that, and if 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:42.480 we were, if it was so Dad describing the thing, 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.240 it would make sense that she doesn't know what's happening. 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.960 Oh no, the helicopter. And then she looks back and 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.200 she sees him with you know, smoke curling out of 0:17:50.240 --> 0:17:52.600 the barrel of his rifle and tears in his eyes, 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:56.920 you know. But no, because Ben is again very bad 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:01.639 at writing, well, I think what's clear to me, I probably, 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:04.600 I'm probably, I'm sure I've I've said this At other times, 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:07.520 he's just so clearly writing something that he wants to 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:10.560 have made into a movie, Like I'm not even thinking 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:12.600 about this as a book. He's like, Oh, this will 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:18.920 look tight. Yeah, And there's no The hardest thing when 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:24.000 you're when you're writing fiction like this is maintaining an 0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:27.600 understanding of space, of geography, of where things are and 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:30.200 and making it clear to the reader where things are, 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.040 especially in an action scene like that. It's hard to 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:37.600 do um and Ben doesn't even really try, Like we 0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:40.560 have no idea as these bikers are rushing towards these 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:43.000 swat lines, we have no clear idea where the swat 0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:46.320 lines are, what they look like, you know, are there fortifications? 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:49.120 What direction are these guys coming from? Where were they 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.760 before that allows them to be like charging at the 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:55.160 swat team? Like none, no attempt is made to make 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.680 that clear, just like no attempt is made to let 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:01.119 us know what has actually happened to the licopter because 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.680 Ben is a terrible writer. Yeah, or why nobody knows 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:07.920 that kid's name? Yeah yeah, yeah, it's all like it's 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:11.640 all like weird, Like his idea of what tropes are 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:14.040 like a lot of they're not even like tropes necessarily. 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.240 He's like, oh, and then he says, like they do 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:19.560 like a cookie bit rightecause people do the cookie stuff 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:24.080 is Yeah, I do want to see this movie though, yep, yep, 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:28.000 uh so yeah, Aidan Foster bodily picked her up and 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.760 put her on a motorcycle behind one of the militiamen. 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.879 She clung to his leather jacket as he twisted again. 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:38.760 Wait a minute, where do you get a guy? What? What? Yeah? Okay, 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.920 So basically what happens is a gun there's a gunfight 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:44.200 going on now. A bunch of the Swat guys are dead, 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:47.800 and now the militiamen are having a gunfight with the 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:51.119 surviving Swat guys, and Aidan Foster, you know it, puts 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:53.439 her on the puts her on the back of a 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:56.720 motorcycle to be spirited away to safety. And just to 0:19:56.720 --> 0:19:58.720 give you an idea of how badly his paragraph is written, 0:19:58.720 --> 0:20:02.359 we start first sentence the paragraph. Foster bodily picked her 0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:04.240 up and put her on a motorcycle behind one of 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:07.560 the militiamen. She clung to his leather jacket as he 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:11.400 twisted the throttle and peeled out, spinning it like, oh, 0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:13.520 so it's a militia man's leather jacket, but it's a 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:16.359 militia man who is the second he in this after 0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:24.760 we started really sentence, Oh that was so uncle even Yeah, 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:28.280 because he's a bad writer, he's terrible, terrible writer. Oh 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:31.399 when you said bodily, is it bodily like b O 0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:34.120 d I l y, or like bodily? Is that even 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:37.240 a word like b O d I l y? Yeah? Yeah, 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:39.760 he bodily picked her up? As if there's another way 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:44.840 to pick someone up? How how else wouldn't you pick 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:50.280 someone up? But bodily? Like the words you're using, could 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:52.600 you could you pick Maybe you just picked them up 0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:54.880 by the ankle and lift their whole body, but just 0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:57.399 by the ankle, and so then you're anklely picking them up? 0:20:57.400 --> 0:21:05.120 I don't know, Um, hands bodily pick up against gravity? 0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:11.919 Will God damn it, Ben Shapiro, you are horrible at 0:21:11.960 --> 0:21:17.960 the thing that clearly matters more to you than anything else. Yeah, 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:21.239 good god. Um. Yeah, so the last paragraph of this 0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:25.360 terrible chapter, Um, don't look back, so Dad whispered to herself, 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:28.560 don't look back. But she did just long enough to 0:21:28.600 --> 0:21:31.600 see in the distance. Some of the flaming men go out, 0:21:31.760 --> 0:21:37.840 leaving nothing but smoking chars of flesh. Horrible sentence. Horrible sentence. 0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:42.320 But she did comma just long enough to see Comma 0:21:42.560 --> 0:21:46.520 in the distance, Comma. Some of the flaming men go out, Comma, 0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:53.840 leaving nothing but smoking chars of you made did not? 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:58.480 That is how Been? That is Been Shapiro constructing a sentence. 0:21:58.560 --> 0:22:01.679 I don't think he has He's only like he He 0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:05.840 writes sentences as if he's only heard of grammar by 0:22:05.880 --> 0:22:08.600 it being like described to him by a witch doctor 0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:13.000 around a fucking fire like it's He obviously doesn't have 0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:20.720 an editor liked, and sentences are like three words long, 0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:24.359 and they're all these periods. Hey, do you want to 0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:27.720 know who does have have an editor? This podcast? And 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:37.359 it's time to do an ad break. We're back every 0:22:37.440 --> 0:22:39.399 time we um. Every time we do one of these 0:22:39.400 --> 0:22:41.800 Been Shapiro episodes, I'm nervous at the start that I'll 0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:44.560 just be like reading you guys a chapter and nothing 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:48.000 entertaining will happen. And every time I am immediately reminded, no, 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:50.480 Ben is just bad enough that this will never not 0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:54.680 be fun to do. Oh, absolutely there's always some sort 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:57.560 of a treasure buried in here, not even buried, just 0:22:57.600 --> 0:23:03.200 sitting on the surface surface, just like it's like you're 0:23:03.240 --> 0:23:06.080 trying to clean a pool with one of those little scoopers, 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:10.280 but it's just like, oh, this's gold everywhere. So our 0:23:10.320 --> 0:23:13.399 next chapter of everyone's going to be excited about this. 0:23:13.440 --> 0:23:17.359 We're back with leve On, our our our gang leader 0:23:17.600 --> 0:23:22.280 who's friends with obviously an Al Sharpton insertion, and who, 0:23:22.400 --> 0:23:25.119 if you'll remember last time, paid a black child to 0:23:25.160 --> 0:23:27.760 get murdered by a cop because that's the only way 0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:41.480 such a situation occurs. Um, good God. Just like the 0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:45.239 nature of his racism is so much more offensive to me, 0:23:45.320 --> 0:23:48.240 And obviously I'm a white guy, but it's so much 0:23:48.240 --> 0:23:50.800 more offensive to me than like an actual straight up 0:23:50.880 --> 0:23:54.080 clans member, because at least that guy really knows he's 0:23:54.119 --> 0:23:57.000 a racist, whereas been Shapiro is certain that he is 0:23:57.080 --> 0:24:02.160 doing the opposite of racism while being shockingly racist. So 0:24:02.320 --> 0:24:08.040 it's so fascinating and frustrating to watch every sentence. It's like, 0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:12.080 how do you not, I mean, you know at some 0:24:12.160 --> 0:24:15.560 level he knows. Yeah, Levan felt the air around him 0:24:15.640 --> 0:24:18.879 crackle with energy. It was something he had felt before 0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:21.639 just before a fight. The switch that went off in 0:24:21.680 --> 0:24:24.560 the brain that notched the senses higher and made them 0:24:24.560 --> 0:24:29.240 more sensitive. Been making a number of things clear. Sorry, 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:32.600 senses and sensitive can't be right there in the sentence 0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:36.880 the show he said before twice within like five words, 0:24:36.920 --> 0:24:39.879 he absolutely did. It's a terrible sentence and also clear 0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:42.240 evidence that Been has never in his life been in 0:24:42.280 --> 0:24:47.240 a fight. Um yeah, oh god. Okay. So here, the 0:24:47.280 --> 0:24:48.840 switch that went off on the brain that notched the 0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:52.879 senses higher, made the more sensitive. Next sentence, the adrenaline 0:24:53.000 --> 0:25:01.840 flowing through the veins. That's the whole sentence, the adrenaline. Uh, 0:25:02.880 --> 0:25:08.160 it's just it's just the narrator in fight club doing 0:25:08.280 --> 0:25:11.719 his little like half sentences because like that's the style 0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:17.280 we're doing. Yeah, the feeling that you'd burst from the 0:25:17.320 --> 0:25:20.720 inside out if the fight didn't commence, and right quick, 0:25:23.560 --> 0:25:29.320 making it sound very animalistic, isn't he? A? Yeah? Oh 0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:43.200 my god, everything yea god, damn it everything. He can't 0:25:43.640 --> 0:25:48.480 do anything. It's just remarkable. Yeah, what the funk? Okay, 0:25:49.000 --> 0:25:52.280 So this felt like those fights multiplied exponentially. That's because 0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:59.920 Levan knew he wasn't alone. It wasn't multiplied exponentially. There's 0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:02.800 so there's it's so dense, like there's so many layers 0:26:04.280 --> 0:26:09.200 of this don't part every single like five word phrase. God, 0:26:09.560 --> 0:26:13.400 but by God, we have to. We just have That's 0:26:13.440 --> 0:26:16.080 because Levan knew that he wasn't alone this time. It 0:26:16.200 --> 0:26:18.960