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Speaker 1: Dearest John, it's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storyteme podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 1: story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 2: But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak must happen.

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Speaker 2: I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 3: My fiance's best friend cross the line. Now I don't

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Speaker 3: want her at my wedding.

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Speaker 1: I mean, when you crossed that line, you get kicked out.

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Speaker 3: Hey everyone, I female thirty, am marrying my fiance Jake

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Speaker 3: Maile thirty two, and the wedding date is in less

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Speaker 3: than a month. I tried my best to remain stress free,

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Speaker 3: but I'm struggling with the situation that's been weighing heavily

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Speaker 3: on me. So I could really use some advice. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from a Sleep Snow sixty eight

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Speaker 3: to fifty four and if you want to smit your

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Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate It.

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Speaker 3: Jake has a childhood best friend, Mary, female thirty. They

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Speaker 3: have been best friends since they were sixteen, and he

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Speaker 3: had a crush on her as a teenager, normal stuff.

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Speaker 3: She was the only girl in a male group of friends,

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Speaker 3: and everybody had a crush on her. When I first

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Speaker 3: met her, she unuinely liked her. I thought she was

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Speaker 3: pretty friendly, and she seemed happy that Jake had found me.

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Speaker 3: She even told me multiple times how relieved she was

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Speaker 3: that I wasn't like as crazy jealous. It was so

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Speaker 3: jealous of her and tried to ruin her relationship with Jake,

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Speaker 3: and Jake's version seemed to tell the same story. At first,

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Speaker 3: I didn't question it, but over time, little things started

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Speaker 3: to add up. Whenever I spent time with Mary, I

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Speaker 3: left with a bittersweet feeling. She would casually slip comments

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Speaker 3: about things she and Jay did together, dates, inside jokes,

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Speaker 3: even some minor high school spicy related experiences, phrased as

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Speaker 3: if she was just reminiscing. She always tells me these

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Speaker 3: things in a cool girl way, saying she just feels

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Speaker 3: so comfortable talking to me about them. I know I

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Speaker 3: should have done something, but I'm naturally quite a shy person,

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Speaker 3: and I second guess everything. I felt like all these

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Speaker 3: things were inappropriate for a best friend to share with

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Speaker 3: her best friend's girlfriend, but I wanted to think she

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Speaker 3: was just silly and not meaning any harm. Then there

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Speaker 3: were the moments that felt deliberate. At group gathering, she

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Speaker 3: would subtly isolate, stepping between me and others or changing

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Speaker 3: the subject if I was speaking. She would interrupt conversations

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Speaker 3: to take the spotlight, and once she even called Jake

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Speaker 3: into a room and opened the door in just a

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Speaker 3: top and underwear. Another time she tried to change clothes

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Speaker 3: in front of him, and when he immediately left the room,

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Speaker 3: she laughed it off, saying it wasn't a big dealall

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Speaker 3: I was there in the same room. She clearly did

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Speaker 3: it on purpose. At first, it was hard for Jake

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Speaker 3: to see what I was seeing. To his credit, he

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Speaker 3: never dismissed me, but he tried to justify her behavior.

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Speaker 3: That's just so she is, or she doesn't mean anything

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Speaker 3: by it. But in the past year things have escalated.

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Speaker 1: Escalated it boy escalated beyond her taking off her clothes

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Speaker 1: in front of your boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: At two separate weddings, she caused major drama, spreading cruel

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Speaker 3: gossip about the brides and other couples. Some of it

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Speaker 3: was so mean that I got very upset and left

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Speaker 3: the main room to get some air. Jake came along

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Speaker 3: and when I told him, he completely lost it. I

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Speaker 3: begged him not to make a scene and not to

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Speaker 3: confront her. You wanted to disinvite her from our wedding.

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Speaker 3: I finally convinced him not to do anything because I

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Speaker 3: didn't want to be the reason their friend group fell apart.

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Speaker 3: But now she has crossed yet another line. She recently

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Speaker 3: announced that she will be wearing a long, satin, very

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Speaker 3: whitish dress to our wedding.

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Speaker 1: Like I mean, if she got into a car accident,

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Speaker 1: would be gone in the car accident, you know, and

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Speaker 1: someone needs to replace, like I would step up. That's

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Speaker 1: just the kind of friend I am.

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Speaker 3: She has seen my wedding dress and what she picked

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Speaker 3: is very similar, both being long, tight and quite ivory.

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Speaker 3: And because she's the best man, she will be standing

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Speaker 3: right next to Jake at the altars.

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Speaker 4: Man.

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Speaker 3: Oh sorry, if you're about to disinvite someone from your wedding,

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Speaker 3: maybe they shouldn't be your best man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, drop drop.

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Speaker 3: When I politely pointed it out, she became extremely offended

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Speaker 3: and defensive. I have no doubt she's now talking bad

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Speaker 3: about me to their friends, painting me as the jealous

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Speaker 3: fiance like she did with Jake's X. She even made

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Speaker 3: a sarcastic remark, I'm sorry if you think I could

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Speaker 3: steal your attention.

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Speaker 1: I mean, okay, that is an evil sentence, but damn

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Speaker 1: is that a good one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: She's like, really, that is the most manipular set. It's

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Speaker 1: like it's like on par with Like I love how

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Speaker 1: you can just wear everything or anything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I love how you just like don't care about how

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Speaker 1: you look. Like You're so brave for that.

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Speaker 3: Jake is furious. He says that if she pulls anything,

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Speaker 3: he will personally punt her out.

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Speaker 1: If you are thinking about punting out your best man,

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Speaker 1: they are not your best man.

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Speaker 3: I'm not your best man.

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Speaker 1: They shouldn't even be your guests. They should be your

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Speaker 1: worst man. They should be your blackmailed man, blacklisted, blackmailed,

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Speaker 1: put in the cabinet, never to be seen again.

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Speaker 3: He resents me a bit. I think he said I

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Speaker 3: should have just led him uninvite her. I love that

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Speaker 3: he has my back, but again, I don't want any drama.

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Speaker 3: Their families are very close. Her whole extended family is

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Speaker 3: invited to the wedding, and the group of friends would

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Speaker 3: be forced to take a side. Even if she finally

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Speaker 3: decides to wear another dress, my fears that she won't

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Speaker 3: just take attention, she might actually try to ruin my

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Speaker 3: dress or create some kind of scene. We've already told

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Speaker 3: her that we know there will be no speeches because

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Speaker 3: she has a history of making everything about how Jake

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Speaker 3: was in love with her but finally moved on. I

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Speaker 3: can't believe that this is even something I have to

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Speaker 3: worry about on my wedding day. I invited only the

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Speaker 3: people I love. Most of this wedding, the energy has

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Speaker 3: been nothing but love, no drama, just excitement and joy

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Speaker 3: until now, and I feel completely stuck. Uninviting her isn't

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Speaker 3: an option because it would create massive drama on Jake's side,

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Speaker 3: and I know I would be blamed as the crazy

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Speaker 3: girlfriend who tried to ruin the friendship. But at this point,

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Speaker 3: after knowing everything I do now, I don't even believe

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Speaker 3: his ex was crazy at all. I think she just

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Speaker 3: saw the same things I'm seeing now. I don't know

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Speaker 3: what to do. It's spoiling everything for me. And there

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Speaker 3: is an update.

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Speaker 1: What say you, I mean, let him uninvite her from

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Speaker 1: the wedding, but he is not a red flag that

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Speaker 1: he's like, babe, if you want me to uninvite her,

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Speaker 1: I'll do it. And he's not taking the initiative to

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Speaker 1: uninvite her. With everything that's going on, It's like it's

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Speaker 1: like make like I think op is saying I want

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Speaker 1: him to make the decision, sure, because I want him

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Speaker 1: to choose me over this woman, And he's like, I

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Speaker 1: want her to come if my wife doesn't say anything exactly,

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Speaker 1: I want my second wife there right next to me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: a backup wife.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but like, yeah, no, I think I think that's

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Speaker 3: exactly what's happening here. But yeah, I mean, if you

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Speaker 3: don't want drama kick around.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but also red flag that he's he's not doing anything.

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Speaker 1: I feel like this is I think we're on on

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Speaker 1: very unstable ground with this marriage already. Up, I'm not

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Speaker 1: feeling good about it. I'm not feeling good.

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Speaker 3: But there is an update. First of all, thank you

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Speaker 3: to everyone who took the time to respond. Sometimes opening

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Speaker 3: it with strangers helps more than talking with friends. All

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Speaker 3: my friends are just mad and ready to spill wine

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Speaker 3: on her. I wanted to clarify a few things and

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Speaker 3: share an update after a long conversation with Jake tonight.

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Speaker 3: We are not in the US. Jake and I are

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Speaker 3: originally from a Nordic European country, but now of abroad.

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Speaker 3: I mentioned this because cultural difference is play a role here.

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Speaker 3: Where we're from. It's not common to dictate what the

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Speaker 3: bridal party wears. We wanted everyone to feel comfortable and

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Speaker 3: choose their own outfits. We told all our guests that,

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Speaker 3: but of course we never expected someone to push the

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Speaker 3: boundaries so far those questioning the timeline. We've had a

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Speaker 3: long engagement almost two years ago. When we first got engaged,

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Speaker 3: Jake and Mary were still close, so it made sense

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Speaker 3: for her to be the best man. All the formalities

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Speaker 3: have been completed, She signed the paper, her documents have

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Speaker 3: been sent to the town hall, expensive gifts have been shared,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. But over the past year everything has changed.

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Speaker 3: He is distance himself. He never reaches out to her

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Speaker 3: first anymore. He only replies when she contacts him. Since

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Speaker 3: we don't live in the same country, we don't see

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Speaker 3: her often, only at big gatherings like Christmas or weddings,

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Speaker 3: So in our day to day lives, she's not present

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Speaker 3: for the people saying your spouse should be your best friend.

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Speaker 3: Of course, Jake is my best friend. That's not even

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Speaker 3: up for discussion. But having close friendships outside our relationship

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Speaker 3: doesn't mean we aren't each other's closest person. This situation

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Speaker 3: isn't about whether a man and a woman could be

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Speaker 3: best friends. It's about boundaries. Absolutely well.

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Speaker 1: It does feel like at least Jake is putting up

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Speaker 1: some boundaries. Yes, sure, but I feel like yet not enough,

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Speaker 1: especially for the level that this person's going.

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Speaker 3: I just really don't understand why he can say that

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Speaker 3: I'm willing to get rid of her from the wedding entirely,

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Speaker 3: but not change his best man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe he doesn't mean you gotta have other, but

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Speaker 1: you gotta have other best man.

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Speaker 3: Maybe he doesn't, maybe he's only on her. No, for

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Speaker 3: those wondering if Jake still has feelings for her, if

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Speaker 3: I had even the slightest doubt about that, I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: be marrying him. But I don't. This isn't about him,

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Speaker 3: it's about her. She constantly brings up the fact that

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Speaker 3: he once had a crush on her when they were teenagers.

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Speaker 3: When he's not around, she knows he wouldn't take that lightly.

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Speaker 3: It honestly feels like she clings to that detail as

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Speaker 3: a way to boost her own ego or my friends, Uh,

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Speaker 3: she's just sad. I just know that if she gets

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Speaker 3: uninvited or demoted to guests, she will make sure that

200
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Speaker 3: the entire wedding is about her. If you think I'm exaggerating.

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Speaker 3: At the last Christmas gathering, she was being very clean

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Speaker 3: towards Jake, acting overly familiar, nothing extremely inappropriate, though he

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Speaker 3: got irritated and started avoiding her. And what did she do?

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Speaker 3: She sat there the whole night, throwing daggers at him

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Speaker 3: with her eyes and making sure people noticed. People did notice,

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Speaker 3: and talked. And that's the thing. She thrives on making

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Speaker 3: drama but never grows incredibly overboard. Why on inviting her

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Speaker 3: isn't simple? In our culture? This would cause a big scandal.

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Speaker 3: At least eight people, some of whom are very important

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Speaker 3: to Jake, would refuse to come if we uninvited her.

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Speaker 3: And even if we could accept that, it would still

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Speaker 3: turn the wedding into a circus of gossip about her absence.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure she'll gossip her.

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Speaker 1: But she'll be well. It is like, what kind of

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Speaker 1: gossip do you want? Do you want gossip or do

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Speaker 1: you want full blown wedding pandemonium, which she will definitely

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Speaker 1: bring in.

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Speaker 3: Yep, this isn't just about the wedding day, It's about

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Speaker 3: the fallout afterward. The reality is Jake comes from a

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Speaker 3: small town where people love to talk, and she's very

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Speaker 3: good at making herself the victim. I'm not a bridezilla

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Speaker 3: by any means, but I'd rather people enjoy my wedding

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Speaker 3: and think about us, then wonder why Mary is not

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Speaker 3: there and speculate, especially because she will make sure people

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Speaker 3: think she not there Because I am jealous of her,

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be able to enjoy my day. I'm in

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Speaker 3: the wrong, maybe, and I accept it. But I'm not

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Speaker 3: a confrontational person, and a fight before the wedding will

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Speaker 3: ruin it for me. There is a little bit left

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Speaker 3: to this story.

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Speaker 1: I think uninvite her. She's she's crossed so many boundaries already.

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Speaker 1: Demoting her to a guest is not going to do it.

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Speaker 1: If you lose those eight people, at least you'll have

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Speaker 1: a wedding that you'll actually feels drama free rather and

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Speaker 1: like a little gossip like that's fine, but it's not

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Speaker 1: it's at least it's not a wild card.

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Speaker 3: The thing is that I don't know. This person should

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Speaker 3: not remain in your life. Yeah, like, if you have

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Speaker 3: the wedding and she's got to be in it, then

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Speaker 3: you're gonna have to get rid of her after.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I just don't think she's a good friend to have around.

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Speaker 4: No, not at all.

244
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Speaker 3: But there is an update.

245
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Speaker 1: Let's hear the update.

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Speaker 3: Jake and I had a long conversation tonight. He's going

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Speaker 3: to reach out to her directly about the dress. I

248
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Speaker 3: asked him to wait for her reaction before making any decisions.

249
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Speaker 3: He agreed to hold off until we see how she

250
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Speaker 3: handles it. That said, one thing is already decided. After

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Speaker 3: the wedding, he's going no comment, which is what I think.

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Speaker 4: Good.

253
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Speaker 3: You won't engage with her beyond group gatherings, and even

254
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,560
Speaker 3: then he'll keep interactions as minimal as possible. This has

255
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,600
Speaker 3: been building for a long time, and after everything she's done,

256
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,000
Speaker 3: he's ready to be done with it. And that is

257
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Speaker 3: the end that story.

258
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Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, I am glad that they are distancing themselves

259
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Speaker 1: from her. I am a little bit like suspicious of

260
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Speaker 1: not maybe not suspicious of the wrong word. But I

261
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Speaker 1: am like, I feel like the husband should have put

262
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Speaker 1: down more boundaries without the wife having to do all

263
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Speaker 1: of it, you know, Like, I feel like he should

264
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Speaker 1: have been the one to uninvite her from the wedding

265
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Speaker 1: and be like, like, babe, should you like I think.

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Speaker 3: Stop being some wishy wash you guys, someone make a decision.

267
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Speaker 3: You guys are both like freaking people, please incapable of

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Speaker 3: making decisions.

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Speaker 1: You're like, well, whatever you you, I don't know, you're

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Speaker 1: just going to do what some of the best.

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Speaker 3: Interest of no one. I'm fine with any options.

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Speaker 1: But that is where that story ends.

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Speaker 2: Indeed, I got rejected by my best friend. Now she's saying,

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm heartless.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe you might be.

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Speaker 2: I don't expect you to like or agree with what

277
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Speaker 2: I'm about to say, but it has always been the

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Speaker 2: way I am, and I've never lied about it. My

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00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,680
Speaker 2: friends have known this about me for years, and it

280
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Speaker 2: just feels like they want me to break my principles

281
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Speaker 2: for the sake of doing it, which feels toxic to me.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I am in the right, but my

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Speaker 2: friends heavily disagree. So I wanted to ask for some

284
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Speaker 2: out outside opinions. By the way, this comes from Prideful

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Speaker 2: Witch eight ninety and if you want us to make

286
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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subber.

287
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Speaker 2: I've always been prideful to what some would call a fault,

288
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Speaker 2: but I would call the lack of pride.

289
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Speaker 4: I witnessed the same if I.

290
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Speaker 2: Was being brutally honest in a whole Maybe we're just

291
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,280
Speaker 2: different people, but I've had the same friend group for

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Speaker 2: most of my life.

293
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Speaker 4: We're all in our mid twenties. I do not believe

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Speaker 4: in the.

295
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Speaker 2: Whole break up, get back together or the yes no, yes,

296
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Speaker 2: SnO thing.

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Speaker 4: If you say you.

298
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Speaker 2: Don't want me, you don't want me, end of story.

299
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Speaker 2: We can close that book and get back to where

300
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Speaker 2: we were, no problem, and I won't bring it up again.

301
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Speaker 2: Six ish weeks ago, I finally got the courage up

302
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Speaker 2: to ask my best friend, someone I had feelings for

303
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Speaker 2: for a long time before this out. She wasn't interested,

304
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Speaker 2: and I accepted that right away, because why would I not.

305
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,120
Speaker 2: We've been friends for a long time and I didn't

306
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Speaker 2: expect anything from her. I did distance myself for just

307
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Speaker 2: a little bit to get over the awkwardness, but within

308
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Speaker 2: a little over the week. It was like nothing happened,

309
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Speaker 2: and I was glad, at least until this last weekend,

310
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,120
Speaker 2: where during a sleepover with all of our friends at

311
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Speaker 2: my place, she kissed me. No one else was paying attention,

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Speaker 2: and I was kind of a shock, so I just

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Speaker 2: pulled away and shook my head. I honestly figured she

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Speaker 2: was plastered and that would be the end of it.

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Speaker 2: We had all been drinking a lot and I wasn't

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Speaker 2: even going to bring it up. Next morning, I wake

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Speaker 2: up and she, as well of a couple of friends

318
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Speaker 2: are gone.

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Speaker 4: The ones that were still there were really angry.

320
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Speaker 2: No matter how I tried to explain where I'm coming from,

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Speaker 2: I'm apparently not understanding how hard it was for her

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Speaker 2: to confess that she felt humiliated by my reaction. I

323
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Speaker 2: told them they all knew how I felt about this

324
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Speaker 2: kind of thing, and they started talking about how it

325
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Speaker 2: was a different situation and that my response was heartless.

326
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Speaker 2: I don't know, am I the A and we do

327
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,719
Speaker 2: have some relevant comments. But before to get into these

328
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,720
Speaker 2: relevant comments, I want some other relevant comments from the

329
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,559
Speaker 2: fine gentleman in my company.

330
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Speaker 1: I mean, just because someone goes in for it, like

331
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,960
Speaker 1: when you go in for the smooch. There's inherent risk,

332
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:17,280
Speaker 1: inherent risk. There there's risk of failure, there's risk of rejection.

333
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,600
Speaker 1: There's risk of being told that you're a little poopy head, bigie.

334
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:26,040
Speaker 1: You'll never be someone that that person would want to guess.

335
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,920
Speaker 1: And that is and that's and that's what happens when

336
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,360
Speaker 1: you when you go on for this smooch. So I

337
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,320
Speaker 1: think you kind of have to be ready for that,

338
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,600
Speaker 1: that failure, that rejection.

339
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,480
Speaker 2: I feel like getting mad at and like, look, I

340
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 2: get the I get why you would be sad and mad, Yes,

341
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:39,880
Speaker 2: because it sucks.

342
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like we kind of don't have any right

343
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,000
Speaker 1: to Well, we've.

344
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,280
Speaker 2: Got some relevant comments groundmaking Gear ten says, not the

345
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,120
Speaker 2: a hole, What the heck is wrong with your friends?

346
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,680
Speaker 2: Rejecting kiss by pulling away and shaking the head is heartless?

347
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,880
Speaker 2: Now do they think you have to accept any approach

348
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,160
Speaker 2: by a woman assuming the way you describe a situation

349
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,160
Speaker 2: is accurate. You didn't humiliate her, You just rejected her,

350
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,880
Speaker 2: which is totally fine, Tim sluck. We've got a comment

351
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,200
Speaker 2: for on top of that, he thinks no one seen,

352
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 2: which means that she was the one who told everyone

353
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,600
Speaker 2: she can be embarrassed about the rejection, but she humiliated herself.

354
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:12,080
Speaker 2: Right Mute says I'd be more worried about what she

355
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,480
Speaker 2: told everyone. Distinct Science AFI four says it not the ahole.

356
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 2: What in the grade school Shenanigan's is this? She rejects you,

357
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,040
Speaker 2: then changes her mind and kisses you without saying anything weird.

358
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,200
Speaker 4: Hope your responds to be fair to her. I mentioned

359
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,120
Speaker 4: this in another comment.

360
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 2: When we were young, we made out slash messed around

361
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,560
Speaker 2: some when we would drink or smoke, But also we

362
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,320
Speaker 2: haven't done that since we were teenagers, so it's still

363
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,920
Speaker 2: unexpected for me. It's also why I didn't take it

364
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,200
Speaker 2: seriously at all. I thought she was just plastered an

365
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,160
Speaker 2: ORNI that she thought that I was the same, not

366
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,800
Speaker 2: a crime, and not something that I even thought was

367
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,480
Speaker 2: worth bringing up, honestly, And we have an update four

368
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 2: days later. I promised a couple of people an update

369
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,640
Speaker 2: if there was one other than me just losing almost

370
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,640
Speaker 2: all my friends in one go, and am I surprise

371
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,200
Speaker 2: there is, though at the same time, I'm mostly posting

372
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,560
Speaker 2: this for me, shouting into a void, because I feel

373
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,960
Speaker 2: slightly rock bottom right now and my gut is telling

374
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 2: me to quit my job, pack my crap.

375
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Speaker 4: And leave the state.

376
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Speaker 2: I want to leave half of this country, to be honest,

377
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,840
Speaker 2: not even just my city or state, my God, because

378
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:12,000
Speaker 2: life here is unsalvageable for me. I got family out

379
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,120
Speaker 2: west to let me stay for a while, and every

380
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,000
Speaker 2: second I consider it, it seems like a better idea.

381
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,880
Speaker 2: I also wanted to start by saying I would like

382
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,520
Speaker 2: to explain my position a little better, So just skip

383
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 2: the next two paragraphs if you don't want to hear it.

384
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,360
Speaker 2: Try to make your starting point easy to find. Sorry

385
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,160
Speaker 2: if it didn't work, but I do want the chance

386
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 2: to explain myself a little better.

387
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 4: I was a record writing the first.

388
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,280
Speaker 2: One, and looking back over it didn't give many details

389
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,360
Speaker 2: regarding the reasons or how I felt outside of avoiding

390
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 2: the situations. I did not view myself as an epic

391
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 2: legend or whatever else everyone was commenting on the last post.

392
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,120
Speaker 2: In fact, I do understand that to many this is

393
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,080
Speaker 2: a pretty fatal flaw in my personality. I have accepted

394
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 2: that for a lot of people that opinion is one

395
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 2: that cuts off the possibility of friendship. It sucks, But

396
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 2: I also don't want to change myself or force myself

397
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,800
Speaker 2: into uncomfortable situations just.

398
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,120
Speaker 4: Because people don't like a part of me.

399
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,480
Speaker 2: I am very accepting of others views on the situation

400
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,400
Speaker 2: and completely agree that my own can seem rigid.

401
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,000
Speaker 4: I don't blame people for disagreeing.

402
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 2: I think plenty of people could have a wonderful relationship

403
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 2: in that situation.

404
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,119
Speaker 4: I only ever brought it up because it matters in

405
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:06,520
Speaker 4: the story.

406
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,840
Speaker 2: However, I also know when it comes to relationships, it

407
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 2: would be it would not be fair to either party

408
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,760
Speaker 2: in this. In a case like this, I know for

409
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 2: a fact I would never fully know that I wasn't

410
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 2: a backup option, or they aren't just saying yes because

411
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,119
Speaker 2: it's convenient. Now, I don't want those two kind of

412
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:22,920
Speaker 2: thoughts on my head, and I don't want to constantly

413
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,879
Speaker 2: feel like I have to prove I'm worth in a relationship.

414
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,760
Speaker 2: I have more pride or maybe, as others have said,

415
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,080
Speaker 2: self respect is better wording.

416
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,639
Speaker 4: It isn't meant as a gotcha or to punch the

417
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:30,159
Speaker 4: other person.

418
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,919
Speaker 2: It's because even if I still have romantic feelings, I

419
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,600
Speaker 2: genuinely don't think the relationship is a good idea anymore. Anyways,

420
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,960
Speaker 2: For the actual update, after almost a full week of

421
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 2: radio silence. She replied to my text and asked if

422
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,200
Speaker 2: we could meet and talk. I asked where she wanted

423
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,000
Speaker 2: to meet, and she said my place, I assume for privacy,

424
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:45,960
Speaker 2: which is cool.

425
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:46,919
Speaker 4: I know a lot of.

426
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,439
Speaker 2: People were talking about her trying to set me up

427
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,440
Speaker 2: for crimes and stuff, but I'm not really worried about

428
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 2: that from her. I don't think she would. She isn't vindictive.

429
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,159
Speaker 2: So when we got here we just sat down. I

430
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 2: pretty much told her that I was so confused about everything.

431
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:01,760
Speaker 2: He didn't even know what to make of all that

432
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 2: had happened, and I asked her to tell me what

433
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 2: happened from her point of view. There were two differences

434
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,639
Speaker 2: between her version and my version that I picked up on,

435
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 2: which may well have been accurate. I was plastered, and

436
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,879
Speaker 2: they aren't huge differences, but at the same time, I

437
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 2: can see how it would be embarrassing. She claims that

438
00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 2: after I pulled away, I made a face like.

439
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,400
Speaker 4: I was grossed out.

440
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 2: Afterwards, she said I shifted to be leaning away from

441
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,159
Speaker 2: her for the rest of the movie, and it just

442
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,439
Speaker 2: made it worse. I don't remember either of those moves,

443
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 2: but again, I was wasted, so he made the like

444
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 2: disgusted face going away, and then he said.

445
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 4: Like he was kind of like leaning away from her

446
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:37,600
Speaker 4: during the movie.

447
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 1: I mean legendary game Man classic. Sorry I did my

448
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 1: lean The lean away just makes them crazy, you know. Yeah,

449
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:53,439
Speaker 1: that's what the legend does, the epic legend, the epic legend. No,

450
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,320
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I feel like he's just

451
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 1: trying to be like I don't want to kiss you,

452
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,200
Speaker 1: maybe going out about it a little bit. But yeah,

453
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 1: it's no crime.

454
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,240
Speaker 4: There's no there's no like line it.

455
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,840
Speaker 2: It is a gray area because you obviously don't want

456
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 2: to just like totally stomp someone into the dirt if

457
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 2: you're retecting them. But like, I don't I don't think

458
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 2: he's doing anything that crazy, No, I you know, so

459
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,399
Speaker 2: I hope he says, not gonna deny it. I have

460
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,160
Speaker 2: a little control over my face when I smoke her drink,

461
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,320
Speaker 2: and I absolutely could have made a face without realizing

462
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 2: it just.

463
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,200
Speaker 4: Out of shock.

464
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,840
Speaker 2: I apologized for that and assured her I wasn't disgusted,

465
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,639
Speaker 2: just shocked as heck, and also assuming it was a

466
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 2: wasted mistake kind of thing. Heck, we've done all stupid

467
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,920
Speaker 2: kinds of crap wasted, no big deal. It was only

468
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 2: the next morning when I was bum rushed with accusations

469
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,439
Speaker 2: before I even got a moaning pissin that I was

470
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 2: told it was meant to be some kind of hint

471
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 2: or whatever. She She did look really embarrassed at that

472
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,239
Speaker 2: point and told me that she hadn't thought about it

473
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 2: that way and just thought it would be more simple

474
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 2: than everything else. I decided, against my better judgment to

475
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 2: ask the question everyone here told me to ask, why

476
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 2: did she actually reject me at first and what caused

477
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 2: her to change her mind. That's when things got really uncomfortable.

478
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 2: I could tell that she didn't want to tell me,

479
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 2: but eventually she did. Apparently her parents are more bigoted

480
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 2: than she or anyone else led me to believe so,

481
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 2: in her own words, telling them we were in a

482
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,880
Speaker 2: relationship quote unquote wouldn't be worth it since I came

483
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 2: out I am non binary, and she said they haven't

484
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,160
Speaker 2: liked me since then, but stay civil for her sake,

485
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 2: meaning that they would just trash talk me whenever I left,

486
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 2: which is really frustrating and embarrassing considering all I've done

487
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: for that effing family over the years. She was scared

488
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 2: that dating would push them too far and they'd cut

489
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 2: her off from their lives. She said that she'd hope

490
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 2: that maybe we could try dating on the down low,

491
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 2: and if things got serious enough that she could tell

492
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 2: their parents. I pretty much just told her I had

493
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 2: a lot to think about and asked her if I

494
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 2: could have some time. She agreed and left. And I

495
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,440
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm more furious or embarrassed or hurt.

496
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 2: Why didn't she tell me before? Now they were saying

497
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: that kind of crap about me? What kind of friend

498
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 2: does that? I'm not saying that she had to cut

499
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 2: them off or stop seeing them. I totally understand weird

500
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 2: dynamics with parents, but believe me, but maybe tell me

501
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 2: that they have an open disgust and hatred for my

502
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: existence before I decided to keep helping them with household

503
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 2: chores and treat them like I would family. I mean,

504
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 2: I grew up with these people, for God's sakes. I

505
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 2: thought of her mother as a better one to me

506
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 2: than my own. Not a high bar, but she was

507
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 2: doing cartwheels fifty feet over it. In my eyes, I

508
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 2: am so stick to my stomach with greed. I'm pretty

509
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 2: sure we aren't going to be able to be friends anymore,

510
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 2: and it just hurts. I grew up with her. She's

511
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: the first person other than my dad I came out to,

512
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 2: and I never ever thought that there would be anything

513
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 2: she would do that I couldn't forgive her for, but

514
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 2: making a fool out of me for years, then suggesting

515
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 2: we date quietly so her family doesn't have to know she's.

516
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 4: With the local freak show. She just feels way too fine.

517
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this is this is this is rough, This

518
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 2: is rough. I want to forgive her, but she's not

519
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 2: even sorry. She didn't even apologize for anything. I want

520
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 2: to see her reasons. I want to give her the

521
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 2: benefit of doubt, but it just hurts. I'm not sure

522
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 2: if I wish I hadn't followed the advice or not

523
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 2: right now, even though I know it's better to know,

524
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 2: I am glad at least that I will know to

525
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 2: stop wasting time, labor, and money on people who hate me.

526
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 4: But to know that they hate me.

527
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 2: Is so painful. Yeah, I mean, it's this. This just

528
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 2: took such a huge, huge right turn. Also, Angela, thank you,

529
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 2: they not chi. Sorry I slipped up on there. I

530
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 2: was referencing the person kissing Ope and got confused. But yeah,

531
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 2: this is uh, Opie is just really going through it.

532
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I feel like I feel this this

533
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 1: kiss has I mean like has I feel like the

534
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: leaner the person that kissed Op thought that they were

535
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 1: being like hurt more of it really just ended up

536
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: hurting Ope, like massively. Because now now, like with all

537
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: this information, it's like learning that these these parents don't

538
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 1: accept Ope either.

539
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 2: You know, it's whole other morning process, not just mourning

540
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 2: a friend or someone you could have been like romantically

541
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 2: interested in. Now it's like you've got a rental figures,

542
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 2: a parental figure. Oh my goodness, but we do have

543
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 2: some relevant comments. For God's sakes, I thought of her

544
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: mother as a better one to my own. Along with

545
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,680
Speaker 2: everything else, this must stuck. Like, I'm so sorry for you, Op.

546
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 2: If she wasn't even willing to stand up to you

547
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 2: with her family, then it was probably the best decision

548
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 2: to not be involved with her, and certainly not now.

549
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 2: Obie says, Yeah, a romantic relationship is entirely off the table.

550
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 2: I'm trying to wait to speak to my therapist before

551
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 2: I do anything rash, but I do not want to

552
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,439
Speaker 2: be here anymore, and I'm just scared it's going to

553
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 2: get worse. I have cried so much over her mom

554
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,719
Speaker 2: since we spoke. She's the one who helped me with

555
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 2: my homework, who took me to the doctor when I

556
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 2: was sick, and made sure I had enough to eat,

557
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 2: and now she just hates me.

558
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 4: It feels so unfair.

559
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:41,719
Speaker 1: That's heartbreaking.

560
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 2: Cyrix eighty four seventy two says, So your friend came over.

561
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 2: She explained her embarrassment and interpretation of what happened. She

562
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 2: took your view on what happened and how you were

563
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 2: Anne bushed in the morning and how everyone got mad

564
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,679
Speaker 2: at you. Now that she knows all of this, is

565
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: she going to smooth it out with everyone else and

566
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 2: get them to apologize to you?

567
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 4: Are you going to be accepted the friend group again?

568
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 4: Are things going to go back to the way they were?

569
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 2: I get that her family's bigoted, that you are frustrated

570
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 2: how they view you and how she wanted a relationship

571
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 2: on the down low.

572
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 4: Her family is a new.

573
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 2: Second issue that she's raised, But that's separate from your

574
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 2: first issue. Losing your entire friend network on top of that,

575
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 2: and she's responsible for that for isolating you and turning

576
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 2: everyone against you. She needs to reframe you from pulling

577
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 2: away from her kiss as not a rejection, but you

578
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 2: not taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated and confusion

579
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 2: as to her actions after rejecting you. Assigning it to

580
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 2: a wasted mistake is fair enough, but recognizing that in

581
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 2: that moment and acting like a gentleman and not taking

582
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 2: advantage of her was the right thing to do, especially

583
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 2: since she didn't verbalize anything related it to her just

584
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 2: going for the kiss, which by the way, wasn't a confession,

585
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 2: it was just lobbin' the gob.

586
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 4: A confession uses words. I heavily agree with that.

587
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: Lob in the gob.

588
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 4: Lobb in the gob.

589
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to we need to communicate with We

590
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 2: need to use our lips for sound.

591
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 1: I think also, I think you can do a lean

592
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: in with maybe like a context of a date, but

593
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: if there's like context of rejection or something, I feel

594
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: like you need to say like, hey, I thought about it,

595
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: I actually really like you. I want to do something.

596
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: Can we go on a date sometime?

597
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 5: Yeah?

598
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need that's with everything we've got going on,

599
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 2: or her knowing that her parents hate op she wants

600
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 2: to keep it on the DL.

601
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 1: That's what it has gone for the kiss with something

602
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,159
Speaker 1: like that, you know, like totally not yeah, you know,

603
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,439
Speaker 1: have a little conversation.

604
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 4: Absolutely, OPI response.

605
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 2: The hateful messages have stopped, but no one has apologized,

606
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 2: and I'm keeping them muted for now just in case

607
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 2: they get angry again.

608
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 4: I don't know.

609
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 2: I got the feeling they just want to pretend they

610
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 2: didn't say crap and that this isn't happening. Also, that's

611
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 2: an assumption, you know what assumptions do, So take that

612
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,719
Speaker 2: with a grain of salt. Maybe they feel bad and

613
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: want to reach out. Maybe they're waiting for something.

614
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 4: I don't know.

615
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 2: I just want to give that the benefit of the doubt,

616
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 2: because I am not trying to think the worst of

617
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 2: everyone right now. And we have update number two.

618
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 1: Oh boy, oh boy, Wow, we're really diving in deep.

619
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 4: We are. We are diving in deep.

620
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: We're diving.

621
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 2: Indeed, My question is do we think Ope goes one

622
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 2: hundred and ten percent no contact.

623
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 1: I just don't see anything that unless the friend makes

624
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 1: some big changes. I'm not super I'm not super convinced

625
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: of I feel like Ope he is not being treated

626
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: with the respect that they deserve.

627
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 2: I agree, and like it would have been a different

628
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,199
Speaker 2: story if Opie shared all the stuff and then she

629
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: was like, oh man, you know what, you're right, Like,

630
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 2: I totally like not thinking of that, But it seems

631
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: like she kind of hasn't.

632
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 4: She was just like, didn't do that mistakes.

633
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 1: No, no, no, not at all. She's just like played victim.

634
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we have update number two. So eight months later,

635
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 2: it's been a while. I was talking to a new

636
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,120
Speaker 2: friend yesterday about why I moved and remembered this account,

637
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 2: so I figured i'd give you an update.

638
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 1: OPI moved. You're joking. Oh my god.

639
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 2: They were not joking when they said I'm gonna move

640
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 2: halfway across the country.

641
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 4: It wasn't a joke.

642
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 2: Well, Opie says, I didn't confront my ex friend's mom

643
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 2: or dad.

644
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 4: I didn't think it was necessary.

645
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 2: I believed her. I don't think she was lying. I

646
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 2: spoke to my therapist and we went over my reasons

647
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 2: to stay and my reasons to go, and the list

648
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 2: for leaving was so much longer than staying. It was

649
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 2: pretty simple to move. I was renting on a month

650
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: to month lease, and I didn't have much they needed

651
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 2: to keep.

652
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 4: I regret that now. Partially.

653
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 2: I think I was a little manic when I started

654
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: my little spring cleaning and threw away some stuff I

655
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 2: wished I kept. I'm living with my uncle now, who's

656
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: really cool, in a much more populated area. It was

657
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 2: a lot easier to find friends out here than it

658
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 2: was back home. I did receive few apologies from the

659
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,199
Speaker 2: friends who were sending nasty texts before I left, and

660
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 2: I accepted those, but I was pretty honest about my plans.

661
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 2: The ones who really show their true colors was my

662
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 2: ex best friend. When she found out I was moving.

663
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 2: She's pretty furious and kept yelling and calling me names

664
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: and all the stuff, which I thought was because she

665
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 2: was going to miss me.

666
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 4: Nope.

667
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 2: Ended up asking what her parents were supposed to do now,

668
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,959
Speaker 2: since I was the one who took care of their

669
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 2: garden for the most part. Nope ended up asking what

670
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: her parents were supposed to do now since I was

671
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 2: the one who took care of their gardens for the

672
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: most part. Asked how selfish I could be and if

673
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 2: I wanted them to break a hip just because they

674
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 2: didn't like that.

675
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,120
Speaker 4: I wear skirts now.

676
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,479
Speaker 2: She didn't outright call me a slur, but there were

677
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 2: a lot of little digs in that lie talk that

678
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 2: made me keep waiting for it. I don't think she's

679
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 2: a bigoted a hole. I think she was mad and

680
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 2: knew that would hurt my feelings, so.

681
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 4: She dug deep.

682
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 2: So anyways, I've had her and most of the people

683
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 2: back home blocked for a while and it doesn't bother

684
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:13,880
Speaker 2: me much.

685
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 4: I'm doing well. I had a birthday party recently. Side notes.

686
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 2: I will never ever get over being able to wake

687
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 2: up and decide to go.

688
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 4: To the beach and just drive there. This is such

689
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 4: a luxury to me, and I hope it never gets old.

690
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 2: My uncle is a quiet guy. I like spending time

691
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 2: with him and his wife. They never make me feel

692
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 2: like a freak, and I'm so glad to call them

693
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 2: my family.

694
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: Shout out to the uncle for actually being the family

695
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:37,679
Speaker 1: op he needs.

696
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 4: Dude, cool uncle is a freaking vibe.

697
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: It's a big win.

698
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 4: Cool aunt and uncle.

699
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: Oh, I love them.

700
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 2: But we've got some realm and comments to close this out.

701
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 2: Not that useful person says, glad to hear things are

702
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 2: better now. Ex friend might not be bigoted, but if

703
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 2: she's using your identity to hurt you, she might as

704
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 2: well be you're better off without. Opie says, I agree

705
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: with the last part. I've been feeling so much lighter

706
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 2: since I moved. Of course it's still new, but I

707
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: love it here. I think the initial problem was trying

708
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 2: to start a relationship as a friend in the first place.

709
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 4: I would almost compare it to don't crap where you

710
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 4: eat for me.

711
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: I know that's work, not friends, but it feels correct

712
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: since it imploded my life in a similar way. But

713
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 2: you live, you learn, and a riker Omega three says, wow,

714
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 2: did you ever dodge a bullet with that family? Seriously,

715
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: don't spend any time morning that friendship or losing those people.

716
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 4: They're all kinds of terrible.

717
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 2: Also, didn't feel like you were in the wrong for

718
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: having a if you don't want me now, you don't

719
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: get me later kind of attitude. How you handle things

720
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 2: is exactly how a rational person would. You asked her out,

721
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: she said no, so you moved on. I am the

722
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 2: exact same way. If if that helps. If you don't

723
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 2: want me now and you reject me when I ask

724
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 2: you out, that's it. I'm never going to change my

725
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 2: mind and I won't wait for you to figure things

726
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 2: out with another dude. I won't be your backup planned

727
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 2: and I dang for sure wouldn't be your side piece

728
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 2: or hidden.

729
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,479
Speaker 4: Boyfriend like your ex friend wanted you. Good for you

730
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 4: for having clear boundaries in life. And that's it.

731
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 1: I love when we got a little story of someone

732
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: choosing a better life for the Yes.

733
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 4: Opie said.

734
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: Opie literally was like I'm going to move across the

735
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 2: country and then forget it and did it and like

736
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 2: live in it up.

737
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, dare I say? Op is an epic legend. Hey,

738
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 4: it's John ere og host here.

739
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories. But he's

740
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 2: a quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

741
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 3: My wife is upset about my weight loss. She wants

742
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 3: me back to my old self. Time to get to work.

743
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 3: Wait what I got married to my wife six years

744
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 3: ago when she got pregnant. Ideally we would have dated

745
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 3: for longer than nine months, but it is what it is,

746
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 3: and we had our sons soon after. By the way,

747
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 3: this comes from Transformer Dad, And if you want to

748
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the rs slash Okay

749
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 3: storytime severed it so within the few years of our marriage.

750
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 3: Life was good. I got to learn a lot about

751
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 3: my wife and we got along really well, more than

752
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 3: when we were dating. Then my dad passed of a

753
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 3: heart attack when I was thirty five. Wow, my dad

754
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 3: had just turned fifty nine. This was a reality check,

755
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 3: and I remember I cared so much because I had

756
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 3: my son, and if I wanted my son to have

757
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 3: me around. When I was thirty five, I was at

758
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 3: least going to have to live to seventy one without

759
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: heeling over from a similar health issue. I went and

760
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 3: did a physical blood work found that I had high

761
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 3: cholesterol and high blood pressure. I told the doctor my

762
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 3: workout plan and diet and set on my way. Following

763
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 3: some of the workout and diet reddits was helpful. Within

764
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 3: a year, I was down to my normal weight, and

765
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 3: within two years I had a six pack, something I

766
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 3: never had when I was younger. From that point, my

767
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,479
Speaker 3: doctor told me my health had exponentially improved. But I

768
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 3: was thirsty for more, all right. I wanted to look

769
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 3: even more aesthetically pleasing, So I got a picture of

770
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 3: the three hundred cover photo and set about building my

771
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 3: body for that Halloween. In that time, I think my

772
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 3: wife and I must have grown apart. My wife used

773
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 3: to always be fit when we dated, but after having

774
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 3: our son, she must have been too busy to exercise.

775
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: I invited her with me to work out. I saved

776
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 3: up money and built a separate two car garage behind

777
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 3: the house to build a home gym, but she would

778
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 3: say she was tired or happy the way she was.

779
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 3: I would go for jogs with my son and the stroller,

780
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 3: and whenever she joined us, she would insist we walk.

781
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 3: I asked her to try jogging, and she would snap back,

782
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: asking if I didn't find her attractive, that's tough. I

783
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 3: think she's I think she's probably really quick. I think

784
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 3: she's probably feeling a lot of like insecurities, insecurities, and

785
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: I think, oh, he's not even doing this from like

786
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 3: a mindset of like, oh you're not you don't look

787
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 3: good to me, Like I'm putting all this work, you

788
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 3: should put it too. I think it's just when you

789
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 3: are a very active person, you enjoy it anyway. Of course,

790
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 3: I love my wife. I love her as the mother

791
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 3: of my child. I love her as the daughter in

792
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 3: law she is when helping my mother, and most of all,

793
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 3: I love her as my wife. And how she is

794
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 3: forever my companion. This became even more apparent with time.

795
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 3: While I would be cooking chicken, breasts and broccoli for

796
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 3: the week, she would say that I starting lasagna and

797
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 3: fried chicken that I used to eat before. I told

798
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 3: her that I didn't want to go back.

799
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 4: Yeah.

800
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 3: Man, I just don't understand her thought process when you

801
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 3: hear presumably he's told her that he was literally like

802
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 3: on the route to pass very early on in his life,

803
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 3: maybe get a heart attack, and then she's like, I

804
00:32:54,720 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 3: actually don't care. My insecurities are more important than your wife. Yeah,

805
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 3: that's crazy.

806
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 6: And plus social media, Oh dude, social media makes you

807
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,959
Speaker 6: think things of yourself and it's so powerful to people.

808
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 3: I told her that I didn't want to go back

809
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 3: to being overweight and obese. My BMI used to be

810
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 3: thirty two and the doctor said that was classified as obese.

811
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 3: Now my BMI was twenty five borderline overweight, but I

812
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 3: am at ten percent body fat, so I was careful

813
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 3: with my food and she got upset. She asked if

814
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 3: I thought she was fat, and I calmly told my

815
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 3: wife to go ask the doctor because I thought she

816
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 3: looked good. But I was biased. After her appointment the

817
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 3: next week, she came back home crying. She said her

818
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 3: doctor said she was overweight and should consider a diet

819
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 3: plan and working out. I thought I would see changes

820
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 3: in my wife's behavior, but nothing happened. Now summer has

821
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 3: come around and my son is a bubbling ball of

822
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 3: excitement and always wants to go to the pool. They

823
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 3: take him to the community pool to play with other

824
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 3: kids that live in our neighborhood, and my wife joins

825
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 3: us sometimes. Last weekend, the neighborhood had a pool party

826
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 3: and everyone and their kids were there. My wife came

827
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 3: and my son and I were having fun playing in

828
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 3: the water and socializing with the people who came there.

829
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 3: When we got home, after my son took a nap,

830
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 3: my wife walked me into our bedroom and started questioning me.

831
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 3: She asked me if I was sleeping with ex woman

832
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 3: who was there? Why woman who was talking to me?

833
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 3: Or z woman whose kid I was helping dry off

834
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 3: and talking to. I said I didn't know what she

835
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 3: was talking about, and then she pulled out her phone

836
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 3: to show me pictures she had taken from her seat.

837
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 3: They were pictures of me smiling and talking to these women.

838
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 3: Ah cheating, Ah, cheating. I sat my wife down and

839
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 3: told her I would never cheat. I have a son

840
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 3: that she provided me and a wife that I loved

841
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,359
Speaker 3: and cared so much about. She wouldn't accept that answer, though,

842
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 3: She said that I must be attracted to those women

843
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 3: because they can look good wearing bikinis while she's heavier

844
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 3: than them. Her words, not mine. Then she changed the

845
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 3: focus to me. She said I was getting all this

846
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 3: attention because I was now fit compared to before, and

847
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,399
Speaker 3: it would cause me to waver in my fidelity now

848
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: that other women were attracted to me. My wife told

849
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,720
Speaker 3: me that she wants me back to my old self,

850
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 3: when she didn't have to worry about other women and

851
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 3: would be comfortable together. She said she feels this undue

852
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 3: pressure to become fit herself and feels like it's too

853
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 3: stressful to maintain that lifestyle. Can someone please tell me

854
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 3: what to do. I'm not going to lie to my wife,

855
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 3: but if I'm being honest, ah, I think she would

856
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 3: be much more attractive if she tried to get back

857
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:17,439
Speaker 3: into shape, even just trying. Don't tell her that. Yeah,

858
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 3: I keep that to yourself. Don't tell her that, buddy.

859
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 3: I hope you haven't told her that before, But don't

860
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 3: tell her that. Yeah, I keep that one's yourself. I

861
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 3: don't know how I can tell her this without hurting

862
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 3: her feelings, don't or making her feel more insecure? Can

863
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 3: someone tell me how to approach this? There is an update,

864
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 3: but I can I got to stop. Pause, But really,

865
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 3: do you have any thoughts?

866
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 6: Yeah? I'm thinking about the equal yoke thing because I

867
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 6: feel like couples are better whenever they're on the same

868
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 6: page about things. Clearly you and your wife are not,

869
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 6: and I think it would make life so much easier

870
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 6: if both of you were very fit, or if both

871
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 6: of you weren't very fit.

872
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 3: It's either.

873
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 6: It's just like a rubber band and you guys are

874
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 6: doing this right now, and to release the tension of

875
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 6: the rubber band, someone needs to either give in or

876
00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 6: follow the other one.

877
00:35:58,680 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 4: So someone's going to need to give in.

878
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 3: And you can't follow her because.

879
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 6: You might and you understand the you know, limitations of

880
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 6: that couples counseling opening her up to something else.

881
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 3: I don't know.

882
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 6: I feel like your wife needs to move kind of

883
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 6: closer towards you, And it doesn't mean like your your

884
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 6: wife needs to start working out five times a week

885
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 6: and do eight this and da da da da da.

886
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 6: It's like, you know, being okay with going on a walk.

887
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,800
Speaker 6: You know, guys don't have the job, but being okay

888
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 6: with the walk. The wife sees this has a big undertaking. Yeah,

889
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,240
Speaker 6: because you went through like a big change in your life. Yeah,

890
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 6: and it sounds like you guys got to go back

891
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 6: to square one. Figure out what's a good step to

892
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 6: ease attention on that.

893
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, therapy, tell her, yeah, therapy. Let's approach this from

894
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:37,320
Speaker 3: a health standpoint.

895
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 6: But it does seem like there's some ego happening on

896
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 6: both sides here, some pride on both sides.

897
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 3: I think so. But there is an updates, let's get

898
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,240
Speaker 3: into it. Thank you everyone for your post and advice.

899
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 3: I really appreciate it. I made a few realizations about

900
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 3: myself and my relationship to my wife. I wasn't easing

901
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 3: my wife into getting into a healthy lifestyle and had

902
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 3: completely forgotten that when I started out. I took it

903
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 3: very slow, which is yeah, kind of what we are saying, like,

904
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 3: don't just drop her into stuff that she doesn't like doing.

905
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 3: Find something that she likes. It took me four years

906
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,760
Speaker 3: to get to where I am now, and my wife

907
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 3: was trying to keep up with my current livestyle, which

908
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 3: can definitely be overwhelming. I was trying to look for

909
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 3: the perfect opportunity to talk about this with my wife

910
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 3: and to ease the mood a little. I went and

911
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 3: bought her favorite bottle of wine and a bouquet. I

912
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 3: went to talk to her in our bedroom after our

913
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 3: son had gone to sleep, and she had these old

914
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 3: photo albums. Apparently she had stopped by her parents' place

915
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 3: after work to help them with some summer cleaning, and

916
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 3: she wanted to keep the photo album to go through

917
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,800
Speaker 3: the memories. I gave her the flowers and open the wine,

918
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 3: and we looked through the pictures while we were cuddling.

919
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,919
Speaker 3: We were leafing through the pictures, and then I saw

920
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 3: one of a strikingly handsome man in a football uniform

921
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: holding a girl that looked exactly like my wife when

922
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 3: she was twenty four, kissing him. My wife was so

923
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 3: interested in the picture and she started tearing up a bit.

924
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 3: I asked her what was wrong, and she pulled out

925
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 3: her phone and showed me a picture of her parents.

926
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 3: Now they're in their sixties and still in love, but

927
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 3: they have lost their shape that they had in their youth.

928
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 3: Her dad had a really large adult soda gut and

929
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 3: her her mom was overweight, but they were happy. She

930
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,280
Speaker 3: was saying that when we got married, she was hoping

931
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,919
Speaker 3: we would be like them. They never worried about losing

932
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 3: faith in one another because their attractiveness faded as they

933
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 3: grew old her, but their love for one another continued

934
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,479
Speaker 3: to grow. She talked about her old boyfriend who became

935
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 3: so popular in college and girls threw themselves at him

936
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 3: that he ended up strange. She was worried the same

937
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,240
Speaker 3: would happened to me because women in their neighborhood started

938
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 3: to talk and say they wish their husbands worked on

939
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 3: their bodies like I did. She was starting to feel

940
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 3: really insecure.

941
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 6: Okay, well girl, let me tell you something. Mmm mmmm,

942
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 6: tell me you won the jackpie here.

943
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:36,800
Speaker 1: You got the jackpie.

944
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 3: You got the hot guy. You got the hot man

945
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,760
Speaker 3: in the neighborhood. You got the hot guy. Oh, ladies

946
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 3: want them, but they can't have them.

947
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 6: Everybody wants a little bit. But guess who's nibbling old

948
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 6: days at you?

949
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 3: That's you, girle. Then I took that opportunity. I gave

950
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,360
Speaker 3: her a kiss and then told her that she loved

951
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,399
Speaker 3: me when I was fat, and women like them never

952
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 3: noticed me. She still loves me, but those women just lust.

953
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 3: M sure in my eyes might dart it is physically natural.

954
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:04,320
Speaker 3: You didn't tell her that, did you, Dude, He's just stop.

955
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 3: I hope that was just an inner monologue. Yeah, yeah,

956
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,919
Speaker 3: but I loved her so much, valued our relationship so much,

957
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 3: and only needed her in my bed. I couldn't even

958
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,280
Speaker 3: imagine laying with another woman besides her. She started crying

959
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 3: tears of joy, and I didn't stop there. I pushed onwards.

960
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 3: I grabbed the picture of her parents from college, the

961
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 3: picture she had of her parents now, and a picture

962
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 3: of when we started dating on my phone. I told

963
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 3: her what her parents did. Lose track of their health

964
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 3: but still grow old and love each other is one

965
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 3: way to live life. They got the chance to see

966
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 3: their grandkids, but I know the health problems her parents have.

967
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:35,959
Speaker 3: Then I brought up my dad and how he wasn't

968
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 3: able to spend much time with his grandson, and how

969
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 3: I want to have the opportunity to see my future

970
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 3: grandkids and maybe even great grandkids. I said I wanted

971
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,240
Speaker 3: her to be by my side. I took a picture

972
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 3: of us now and had the picture of her parents

973
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 3: and said, why can't this be us when we're in

974
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 3: our forties, fifties, sixties till we pass. I told her

975
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 3: I loved her, but because I loved her so much,

976
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 3: I wanted her to become healthy. She doesn't need to

977
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 3: get her pre babyweight or anything drastic. I told her

978
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 3: my st sorry of how I just wanted to get fit,

979
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 3: but then that developed into a desire to look good too.

980
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 3: She admitted that she also wanted to get back her health,

981
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 3: and at the same time, she was hoping to stick

982
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 3: to her new year's resolution to lose twenty pounds. All right,

983
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 3: we talked set up a plan, so she's cutting the

984
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,360
Speaker 3: snacks down to two cookies a day and logging everything

985
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 3: she eats and portion control. That was when she brought

986
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: up her monthly appointment with her psychiatrist. Apparently she's been

987
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 3: going to talk about how she could get over her

988
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 3: over eating habits. I felt so bad I neglected my

989
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 3: wife when I was trying to become healthy.

990
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:30,800
Speaker 4: Wow.

991
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I could have included her in my journey

992
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 3: and it would have been so much easier to do together.

993
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 3: I'm glad that he's realizing, like what, you know, the

994
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 3: part that he's played in this as well. Yeah, yeah,

995
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 3: I appreciate it. We set up an exercise schedule every day,

996
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 3: and she was joking about how we should have spicy

997
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 3: sleep every day to make sure we get our cardio in. See,

998
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 3: she's getting her little she's getting her confidence back. I

999
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 3: appreciate that. I took the inn and we as spicy

1000
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 3: sly the rest of the night. Why I haven't been

1001
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 3: as intimate with my wife like I was last night

1002
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 3: since our honeymoon. I hope to keep the momentum going

1003
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,280
Speaker 3: tonight since we both took vacation for the long weekend.

1004
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 3: I mean, being more active does give you stamina. That

1005
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 3: is true, it does. I took the advice of being

1006
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 3: more intimate with my wife even outside the bedroom, and

1007
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 3: was kissing her and playing around with her while we

1008
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 3: were making breakfast today. When I heard a voice shout

1009
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:25,240
Speaker 3: from upstairs, Daddy, you said, we're not supposed to touch

1010
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 3: girls like that. I ended up having a When a

1011
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 3: man and a woman are married and love each other

1012
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,960
Speaker 3: so much, it's okay to do that because that's what

1013
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,359
Speaker 3: leads to a baby conversation Today, I could still see

1014
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 3: the shock in his eyes, but it had to happen

1015
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 3: so I can feel more comfortable kissing my wife and

1016
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 3: squeezing her butt in front of my son. Maybe a

1017
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 3: squeezerr butt in front of her son. Mamie, we hold

1018
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 3: on an hour and the kiss is fine. I don't

1019
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 3: know if we didn't do that, Na. I'm so glad

1020
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 3: my wife does not have depression and that we were

1021
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 3: able to work together to put a plan to get

1022
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 3: back her health. She was showing me pictures of power couples,

1023
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 3: saying in a year or two, she wants to take

1024
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 3: a picture like that together. So I'm so glad she

1025
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 3: has that goal in mind.

1026
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 6: I'm so happy because I know she's going to be

1027
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,720
Speaker 6: seeing so many results, Yeah, by just doing little different

1028
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 6: things in her day to day, but also just like.

1029
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 3: The change in their relationship already and talking about this,

1030
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: bringing this in the open and having this kind of

1031
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 3: excitement about, you know, this journey that she's going to

1032
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 3: go on. Stuff about feeling good together as a couple,

1033
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 3: feeling good as a family, feeling good individually is really exciting.

1034
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 3: I think they're on a great track.

1035
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1036
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 3: I love this. Yeah, I also feel ashamed. When I

1037
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 3: was starting, it was to become healthy, but I like

1038
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 3: the physical changes I saw in my body. And for

1039
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 3: my model, I picked Leonidas from three hundred what but

1040
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 3: my wife, who was restarted on her fitness journey, printed

1041
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 3: out this picture of a husband and wife who were

1042
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 3: both fit. It just goes to show who loves who

1043
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 3: more and I definitely need to work on that. Anyways,

1044
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: thank you so much for the support Reddit. I really

1045
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 3: appreciate the help and look forward to helping my wife

1046
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 3: with her journey. Together we can live a long and

1047
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,840
Speaker 3: wonderful life seeing our son grow older and as future kids,

1048
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 3: and that's you know, that's a really great kind of

1049
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 3: reason to go on the health journey.

1050
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 4: Exactly.

1051
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 3: I think it is really important to understand why you're

1052
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 3: going on a health journey, because if it's just to

1053
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 3: be like super you know, like to be like a

1054
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 3: celebrity type body or like have that like thinness and stuff,

1055
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 3: it probably is not going to last. You know, it's

1056
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 3: not going to have longevity, You're not going to have

1057
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:30,439
Speaker 3: the motivation to keep it going.

1058
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 6: But having this intention of I want to be able

1059
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 6: to feel better might feel better and grandkids.

1060
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I want to be able to play with

1061
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 3: my kids, and that does not has nothing to do

1062
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 3: with weight or like thinness. That just has to do

1063
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 3: with you know, activity. Yeah, it's like, do I have mobility.

1064
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 3: That's why a lot of you know, older people who

1065
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:53,399
Speaker 3: are still very healthy and stuff, have focused a lot

1066
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,399
Speaker 3: on like their mobility and they're you know, making sure

1067
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 3: that they're flexible and stuff as they age.

1068
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 5: My husband is in love with his best friend, so

1069
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 5: I befriended her a plot and did thickens. This happened

1070
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 5: a while back. All ages are at the time it happened.

1071
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 5: My female twenty seven husband male thirty of five years.

1072
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 5: Steve had a female best friend long before we met.

1073
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 3: We'll call her Amy.

1074
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 4: By the way.

1075
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,720
Speaker 3: This comes from user clown chowder.

1076
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 5: Pies and if you want to submit your own stories,

1077
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay storytime subburt it. So.

1078
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 5: I met Amy pretty early on in the relationship, and

1079
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:31,240
Speaker 5: I thought the girl best friend thing was kind of weird,

1080
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,760
Speaker 5: but she seemed cool. I wasn't interested in a friendship

1081
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 5: between her and me, but I figured we could be civil.

1082
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 5: Steve had other friends, but more text every now and

1083
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,240
Speaker 5: then friends. Amy was the only one he saw in person.

1084
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 1: Often.

1085
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 5: She even included me on activities occasionally, like movie nights

1086
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 5: at her house or trips to the park, et cetera.

1087
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 5: I felt more secure because of how kind she was.

1088
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,919
Speaker 5: The security washed down the drain every time it sprung up. Though,

1089
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 5: Steve always looked at Amy in a way he never

1090
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 5: looked at me.

1091
00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 3: Ooh, with a yearn a long earning. Well, why aren't

1092
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 3: they together?

1093
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 5: Then?

1094
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 3: If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?

1095
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 5: He seemed so genuinely happy when she talked, more animated

1096
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 5: and excited. He also tried to get me to cut

1097
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 5: my hair to be more like hers at one point

1098
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 5: and diet to her natural color. Amy had shoulder length

1099
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 5: brown hair, beautiful on her, but not the look for me.

1100
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 5: I had longish hair that I frequently died fun colors.

1101
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 5: He also would drop plans with me at the drop

1102
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 5: of a hat if the opportunity to spend time with

1103
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 5: Amy came up. Not every time, but one that stands

1104
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 5: out from memory is we were about to take a

1105
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 5: trip to visit my family, a full day trip if

1106
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 5: we don't stop anywhere on the way, and before we left,

1107
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 5: he'd texted Amy to see.

1108
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 3: What she was doing that day.

1109
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 5: Mmmmm, She said nothing, and he insisted we stop by

1110
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 5: to see her before we go. Amy did not know

1111
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 5: our plans. We ended up spending the whole day there.

1112
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:52,919
Speaker 5: I rescheduled my family visit. That's actually crazy. Uh If now,

1113
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 5: if I had been more vocal at the time, maybe

1114
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 5: it would have been different. But I didn't and still

1115
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 5: don't like arguing in front of people, and bringing it

1116
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 5: up up in front of Amy felt mortifying At the time.

1117
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,800
Speaker 5: I chalked it up to me being too self conscious

1118
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 5: and overworrying. Steve wasn't outright cruel to me or anything,

1119
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 5: but the little things and comments tore me down. This

1120
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 5: went on for our whole marriage. One night, Steve and

1121
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 5: I were drinking at home and watching bad Christmas movies

1122
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 5: Love the Ginger, dead Man and such. I got in

1123
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 5: my feelings out of nowhere, as I often do when

1124
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 5: I've been drinking, and asked him if he ever had

1125
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,720
Speaker 5: feelings for Amy, and he admitted to it. Oo said

1126
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:32,240
Speaker 5: he'd tried to get her to be with him multiple

1127
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 5: times since middle school and she always rejected him. I

1128
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,920
Speaker 5: asked him if she wanted to be together if he

1129
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 5: would want to be with her instead of me, He

1130
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 5: said something along the lines of stop making up hypothetical

1131
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,800
Speaker 5: questions like that. That'll just hurt your feelings, Boddy.

1132
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 3: Hypothetical questions like that are like would you love me

1133
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 3: if I was a worm? Yeah, that's a hypothetical. This

1134
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:54,240
Speaker 3: is just what you This is just true.

1135
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 4: This is real.

1136
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 3: This is the real world, a new real world. Like

1137
00:46:58,640 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 3: that girl.

1138
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 5: I cry, we fought. I told him to leave. He

1139
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 5: called Amy and asked her to pick him.

1140
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 3: Oh no, uh.

1141
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,280
Speaker 5: When she got there, I, having succumbed to the drink

1142
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 5: like a skink, went outside in a not friendly way

1143
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 5: and accused her of ruining my marriage.

1144
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 3: Knowingly.

1145
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 5: There was a three way heated argument that I'm fuzzy

1146
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 5: on the details of because a I had been drinking

1147
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,240
Speaker 5: and be even sober. When I'm heated in an argument,

1148
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 5: I tend to erase things. And see, this didn't exactly

1149
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 5: happen yesterday. At the end of it, Amy ended up

1150
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 5: taking Steve to his mom's house. She came back to

1151
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 5: me sitting in the yard, crying. This is already too long,

1152
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 5: so I'll skip ahead of it. Amy knew vaguely that

1153
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 5: Steve had feelings for her, but thought it was a

1154
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 5: weird crush that would go away. She liked me, but

1155
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,400
Speaker 5: thought I was cold, so didn't try to force a friendship.

1156
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 5: She didn't know a lot of the stuff Steve had

1157
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 5: said to me as far as comparing me to her,

1158
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 5: and was pissed about it when she learned. She let

1159
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 5: him know that she wasn't and never would be interested

1160
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 5: in him romantically.

1161
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 3: He said, you understood.

1162
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 5: Steve and I did a temporary separation that led to divorce.

1163
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 5: Amy and I became friends. She was and is a

1164
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 5: great friend to me. Oh whoa wait, whoa whoa wait what?

1165
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,760
Speaker 3: Sorry? They just got divorced. Didn't we just get divorced

1166
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 3: from her husband?

1167
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 4: Uh?

1168
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 3: They did a separation that led to a divorce that

1169
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:15,839
Speaker 3: led to a divorce That was like a sentence fung.

1170
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 3: I thought this was gonna be way bigger thing.

1171
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 5: No, we knew, you know, way, we knew who was coming.

1172
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 3: I didn't know what happened that fast. I thought that

1173
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 3: would be the climax of the story. But that was

1174
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 3: just like an offhand remark.

1175
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 5: I think the climax is gonna be that she becomes

1176
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:31,280
Speaker 5: best friends with Amy. My friendship with Amy is almost

1177
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 5: worth everything Steve put me through.

1178
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 3: She's the sister I never had.

1179
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 5: She is still friends with Steve, but in the text

1180
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,879
Speaker 5: every now and then way, I'm more self confident now,

1181
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,839
Speaker 5: no real long term relationships since the Big Dufist, but

1182
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,879
Speaker 5: now I'm invited to every movie night, in trivia game

1183
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,879
Speaker 5: and camping trip with Amy. So I'm not at all

1184
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 5: bothered by the lack of a romantic partner.

1185
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 3: What what that say? What? What did we just learn?

1186
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:56,359
Speaker 3: What friends are?

1187
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 5: I mean, it's never a great thing to put all

1188
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 5: your eggs in one basket. I get being committed to

1189
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 5: a relationship, but like you should, you know, have more

1190
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,800
Speaker 5: than just your partner in your life in terms of

1191
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 5: h a connection with someone yeah, or being able to

1192
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 5: go do activities a bee. You gotta find people to

1193
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 5: bebs with to do do Sorry, this was so long,

1194
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 5: A little rushed at the end because I realized I

1195
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 5: was getting book lenked. I guess that's why the divorce

1196
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 5: was one sentence short book. Thanks for reading this if

1197
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 5: you did. If you're married to a Steve, there are

1198
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 5: better things out there for you, darling, Darling, darling, And

1199
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 5: there's an edit. This blew up way more than I

1200
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 5: thought an old story would. Before the main update. I

1201
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,280
Speaker 5: would like to say thank you to all the supportive comments.

1202
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry that the world has made you so cynical.

1203
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 5: To the people who comment and ed messaged me accusing

1204
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 5: me of my story being fake. Seriously, even if it was,

1205
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 5: why take the time to comment or message. And also

1206
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 5: I am sorry to anyone with a Steve in their

1207
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,319
Speaker 5: lives and proud of the others who got rid of them.

1208
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 3: Now onto the main update. Okay, main update.

1209
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 5: Steve has found this post good. Good for Steve. Amy

1210
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 5: sent me screenshots, not sure how to post them. I

1211
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 5: will be trying to figure that out. Someone made a

1212
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 5: TikTok video and he saw it. Not super eventful, but

1213
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 5: something new on the old story. I considered deleting it

1214
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 5: to avoid drama, but I decided instead to include everyone

1215
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,240
Speaker 5: on the news if they'd like it. I may still

1216
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 5: delete it if it becomes too much. I just don't

1217
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 5: want to give him the power over me deleting it.

1218
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,319
Speaker 5: While a little frazzled honestly as he is, and we

1219
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 5: have some comments. Oooo, comment one, it's already crappy when

1220
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,280
Speaker 5: you marry someone while you're in love with someone else,

1221
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 5: but to keep that person in your life and prioritize

1222
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 5: them over your spouse's heinous, completely unacceptable. Comment to this

1223
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 5: was uplifting. Surprisingly, So you don't feel bad for Steve, then, Oh,

1224
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 5: I kind of feel sorry for him, but not in

1225
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 5: a way that thinks you should regret anything, because it

1226
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 5: all happened very naturally. I just feel you can't help

1227
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 5: how you feel. But he was bad at hiding it

1228
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:54,760
Speaker 5: if he even tried. Hey, you can help not marrying

1229
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 5: a woman. Yeah, if you feel you're in love with

1230
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 5: someone else.

1231
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 3: Friend or maybe like mm, I don't know, create some

1232
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 3: distance with your friend. Op replies to put it the

1233
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:04,439
Speaker 3: best way I can.

1234
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 5: The reason I don't feel bad for Steve is because

1235
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 5: I realize he did this to himself. Oh, I loved him,

1236
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 5: he didn't love me. I left, and I'm happier now.

1237
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 5: I worked on myself and didn't stay miserable. He loved Amy,

1238
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 5: Amy didn't love him. He clung around and made not

1239
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 5: only himself miserable but also me for a while. And

1240
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 5: a reply, did he say he didn't love you or

1241
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 5: did you just interpret his according to your story? Actual

1242
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,839
Speaker 5: answer of I've always had feelings for her, and I'd

1243
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 5: want to be with her if we weren't together, as

1244
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 5: him not giving a crap about you. I think a

1245
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 5: lot of people fool themselves into thinking they are the

1246
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 5: only one for their partner and then make rash decisions

1247
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 5: when they find out that they've fallen in love before

1248
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 5: everyone settles, and statistically it's highly improbable you'd be someone's

1249
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 5: first and only choice. This is a lonely a lone

1250
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:55,839
Speaker 5: individuals much deserves. Let's give him another one hundred down

1251
00:51:55,920 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 5: votes because I'm sorry. What you should not go into

1252
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 5: a marriage, a committed relationship with the mindset that, oh,

1253
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 5: I don't know you're good enough.

1254
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 3: You should not be settling for your partner. You should

1255
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,879
Speaker 3: be finding someone that you actually excites you well and

1256
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 3: let you want to have a like that you can

1257
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:19,240
Speaker 3: see yourself in a relationship with for a long period

1258
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 3: of time.

1259
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 5: If you're marrying them, well, oh god, there's more comment here. Okay,

1260
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 5: This same dumb comment says, but congratulations on letting jealousy

1261
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 5: of a friendship that has existed for longer than your

1262
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 5: entire knowledge of this guy's existence f up a marriage

1263
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,320
Speaker 5: that judging by your lack of complaints of the contrary,

1264
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 5: seemed perfectly fine.

1265
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 3: Man did not read the very short story. Yeah it

1266
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 3: wasn't that, Bob the guy.

1267
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 5: The guy just read the part where they got divorced

1268
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 5: in it his entire memory divorced.

1269
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 3: He read the opening paragraph and then he skipped to

1270
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 3: He's like, oh it is too long, skipped to the

1271
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 3: we got divorced, and he was like, what, you got

1272
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 3: divorced because he has a friend.

1273
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 5: Mm oh and Amy is a crap friend. I'm laughing

1274
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 5: at that. Y'all should be together comments, because you kind

1275
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 5: of do deserve each other. Oh, Pee replies, Yeah, I

1276
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,680
Speaker 5: understand what you mean, and maybe I wasn't super clear,

1277
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 5: and maybe if I was, you would still have the

1278
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,240
Speaker 5: same opinion. I'm not upset that he had feelings for Amy,

1279
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 5: someone else commented, and I agree, you can't control who

1280
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 5: you have feelings for. But I feel the way everything

1281
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,280
Speaker 5: went down marrying me without ever telling me he had feelings,

1282
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 5: constantly putting me his wife on the back burner for Amy,

1283
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 5: making me feel like a second place trophy even before

1284
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 5: I knew about his feelings for her, trying to get

1285
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 5: me to change my looks to be more like her

1286
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,280
Speaker 5: et cetera. Was not how I deserved to be treated

1287
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 5: and was horrific looking back. If it was me today,

1288
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 5: I would never let any of that happen, let alone

1289
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 5: how long I let it happen. And if Amy had

1290
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 5: chosen to remain as close to him, I don't know

1291
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:51,319
Speaker 5: if we would be as close. I want to say

1292
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 5: yes because of how we are right now, but right

1293
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 5: in the middle of everything, I probably would have just

1294
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 5: called it a wash and not talked to her. If

1295
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 5: tomorrow she decides she wants to be close with him again,

1296
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 5: I wouldn't try to stop. I wouldn't be around him,

1297
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 5: even if that makes me seem like a bitter child.

1298
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 5: It would have to be separate visits at separate times,

1299
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 5: but I wouldn't want to lose her over it.

1300
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:12,439
Speaker 3: A very emotionally astute response from OPI comment number three.

1301
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 5: I like this, but kind of not sure why Amy

1302
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 5: was still in touch with him after the whole deal

1303
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 5: and even during your marriage. Seemed a little odd, but hey,

1304
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 5: if it worked out, I'm glad. Opie says they've been

1305
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 5: friends for a long time. I guess it's hard to

1306
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 5: cut off friendships like that without feeling anything. Mostly I

1307
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,960
Speaker 5: think she was disappointed in the way everything went down. Well, well,

1308
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 5: well that's the end of that story.

1309
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 3: Don't married people unless you like in love with them.

1310
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host.

1311
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:36,839
Speaker 4: Here.

1312
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:38,359
Speaker 1: We're going get back to the stories. But here's three

1313
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 1: minutes bads from our sponsor.

1314
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 3: I suddenly had a family.

1315
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 5: It all happened so fast, and now they're burying you.

1316
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 3: And oh, folks, this is from the r slash Okay

1317
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 3: Storytime subreddette, directly from one of you guys. I a

1318
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 3: thirty one year old male, married my wife, a thirty

1319
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 3: one year old female, two months ago. But how it

1320
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 3: happened was not exactly planned because she had a cryptic

1321
00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:01,920
Speaker 3: preg And see what is that? I'll tell you in

1322
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:03,839
Speaker 3: a minute. By the way, this comes from Whole Call

1323
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:05,720
Speaker 3: seventy nine to ten, And if you want to submit

1324
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,760
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime

1325
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 3: separate at so real quick. From my knowledge, a cryptic

1326
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 3: pregnancy is when you don't know you're pregnant and then

1327
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:17,399
Speaker 3: you either find out like right before or when you're

1328
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 3: giving birth. Oh, which is scary thought that you cannot

1329
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 3: know that you're pregnant.

1330
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 5: That's one of the most horrifying things I've ever heard

1331
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 5: in my life.

1332
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 3: My wife did not know she was pregnant until less

1333
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 3: than two weeks before he was born. That's insane. It

1334
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 3: wasn't until two days before he was born that we

1335
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 3: found out that she was thirty eight weeks pregnant.

1336
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 5: Oh my god, is that How many weeks are you supposed.

1337
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:40,879
Speaker 3: To be around thirty eight?

1338
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 5: How? What?

1339
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 3: That's crazy? How so? My fiance at the time and

1340
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,200
Speaker 3: I had been together eight years and planned to get

1341
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 3: married one year in the future. We are both dedicated

1342
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:54,480
Speaker 3: professionals and live together. We've talked about having children and

1343
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 3: decided that it wasn't a good time for us. That

1344
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 3: we might try one day, but nowhere in the near future.

1345
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 3: One day, I was driving a work my thoughts drifting aimlessly,

1346
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 3: and I received a phone call from my wife. I

1347
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 3: was expecting the usual conversation. Instead, she was nervous and

1348
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 3: inform me of those two life altering words, I'm pregnant.

1349
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 3: I was shocked. We used protection. We're very careful. She's

1350
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 3: also on birth control, and we've never had a close

1351
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 3: call in the past. We kind of thought having a

1352
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 3: child would be difficult for her apparently incredibly easy.

1353
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 6: Uh.

1354
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,479
Speaker 3: Little did I know I would be out a labor

1355
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:28,279
Speaker 3: and delivery room in less than two weeks. My wife

1356
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 3: got an appointment with her doctor. They performed a blood

1357
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 3: test and found that she was four to eight weeks pregnant.

1358
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:36,319
Speaker 3: That sounds like it was wrong. When I came home,

1359
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 3: we found time for an honest discussion about our unplanned

1360
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,360
Speaker 3: journey into parenthood. We acknowledged that the timing wasn't ideal

1361
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 3: given our recent home purchases and impending nuptials. Yet we

1362
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 3: realized that with love and determination, a week could adapt

1363
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 3: and make it work. At least we had time to

1364
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 3: adjust to this unexpected twist in our lives. Little did

1365
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 3: we know what was about to unfold. One week later,

1366
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 3: on Wednesday, I took a half day off work to

1367
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,360
Speaker 3: join my wife her first ultrasound appointment. We were expecting

1368
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,879
Speaker 3: to find out the due dates. We found out that

1369
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:09,280
Speaker 3: she was in her third trimester and thirty eight weeks pregnant,

1370
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:13,359
Speaker 3: with a due date of ten days in the future. Surprise,

1371
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 3: you guys, don't even have time to worry your Paris.

1372
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 3: You're gonna be Paris right away. So wait, what happens

1373
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 3: the whole time. So what if she'd been drinking and stuff, Well,

1374
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,480
Speaker 3: that's the danger, that is the danger. Got yeah, oh

1375
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 3: my god, yeah no. My wife burst into tears. I

1376
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 3: did my best to hold my composure and reassure her

1377
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 3: that everything was going to be all right. Like it

1378
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 3: wasn't the biggest event in our lives. We were completely

1379
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 3: unprepared for. We decided to fast forward our nutstuls. Around

1380
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,000
Speaker 3: ten o'clock that night, we visited a courthouse and legally

1381
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 3: bound ourselves in matrimony, signing our names on the official documents.

1382
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 3: I turned to my wife, reminding her that when I proposed,

1383
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 3: my intentions were sincere. I knew without a doubt that

1384
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 3: I wanted to spend my life with her, and that's

1385
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 3: what really mattered to me. That night, I had to

1386
00:57:56,360 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 3: travel for work. I was up all night, and not

1387
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 3: in the way I expected I would be on my

1388
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 3: wedding night. Ruh. At work, I informed my boss of

1389
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 3: my situation and that I could have to unexpectedly leave

1390
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,960
Speaker 3: at any time because my fiance, it was now my wife,

1391
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 3: could go into labor at any moment. That was a

1392
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 3: difficult conversation. That night, I came home from work. I

1393
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 3: have a two hour commute and worked ten hours, four

1394
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 3: days a week. My wife was exhausted. She had to

1395
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 3: do nine months worth of doctor's appointments in one day.

1396
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 3: That is stuff. We both fell asleep quickly. About three

1397
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 3: hours later, she woke me up and said her water broke.

1398
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 3: She was having contractions and had to go to the hospital.

1399
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 5: Nine hours later, nine hours later, nine hours after your

1400
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 5: nine months worth of appointments in one day. Ay, it's time,

1401
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 5: it's time.

1402
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:44,000
Speaker 3: Now. I hope you had a full night's sleep. We

1403
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 3: timed the contractions and found that they were only five

1404
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 3: minutes apart, and rushed to the hospital. We didn't even

1405
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 3: have a go bag or car seat, nothing. My wife's

1406
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 3: labor was only three hours and she did not get

1407
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 3: an epidural because it happened so fast. Girl speed run

1408
00:58:58,240 --> 00:58:59,720
Speaker 3: that she speed ran.

1409
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,600
Speaker 5: That. What by the time they get home, the baby's

1410
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 5: going to have like a college diploma.

1411
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1412
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 3: I remember thinking, Wow, I can't believe this is happening

1413
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 3: so fast, but that seemed to be the trend before

1414
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 3: I knew it. I held my son for the first

1415
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 3: time and it didn't even hit me. I was still

1416
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 3: in shock and disbelief, but I was happy and immensely

1417
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 3: proud of my wife. Yeah, as you should be.

1418
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 5: Yees speed ran giving birth.

1419
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 3: That's crazy. We stayed in the hospital for three days

1420
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 3: and found that my son was healthy. I was so

1421
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 3: nervous something would be wrong because my wife had no

1422
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 3: prenatal care. For those three days, I took care of

1423
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 3: my son while my wife was still recovering. I did

1424
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,560
Speaker 3: not rest. I was either preparing our house for his

1425
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 3: arrival or taking care of my son. I literally had

1426
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 3: nothing ready. I know fathers often say that they are

1427
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 3: not ready, but I literally wasn't. Somehow I managed to

1428
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 3: get the essentials with help from friends. It was time

1429
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 3: to go home, and that scared me the most. The

1430
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 3: hospital was just going to let us go with this

1431
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 3: surprise baby and wished me good luck. The drive home

1432
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 3: was overwhelming. All of a sudden, I had a family

1433
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,760
Speaker 3: of my own. I'd never driven so slow in my life.

1434
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 3: Next three days, I let my wife sleep. I did

1435
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 3: not sleep for five days straight. Dude, what welcome to baby.

1436
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 3: I took care of my son at night and worked

1437
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 3: on essential tasks all day. There was just too much

1438
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 3: to do. It got to the point where I could

1439
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 3: not function anymore. Yeah, I mean you're past the delirious state.

1440
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 3: I've never been so tired and delirious in my life. Yeah,

1441
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 3: you're in like hallucinating state. What's the longest is it

1442
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 3: like ten days or something?

1443
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 5: Oh, there's some creepy pasta about the Russian sleep experiment.

1444
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:29,760
Speaker 5: I personally think you could just never sleep. That's wrong,

1445
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 5: don't do that.

1446
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you could do that until you pass away.

1447
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 3: You could sleep, and it would You should be short.

1448
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:37,160
Speaker 5: Although it is crazy that scientists don't know exactly why

1449
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 5: we need sleep, but they just know we do.

1450
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 3: Our brains are just so active. Finally, my wife was

1451
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 3: feeling a little bit better and let me get rest

1452
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 3: for one night. I did not know to save my

1453
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 3: PTO from work, and I only had one week. They

1454
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 3: didn't even give you freaking mind. Oh my god, they

1455
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 3: didn't give you a paternity leave. It sounds like the

1456
01:00:54,080 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 3: worst and the worst. They were literally constant things that

1457
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 3: were important and needed to get done. Even with my

1458
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 3: wife's help, there just wasn't enough time. My wife and

1459
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 3: I were in survival mode. I look back and don't

1460
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 3: understand how we were able to function. We didn't have

1461
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 3: much help My family was away on a cruise and

1462
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,080
Speaker 3: had quite a surprise when they got cell service again,

1463
01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 3: but we managed. I was about to say, where's your family?

1464
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 3: To be fair, they didn't have any knowledge that you were.

1465
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 5: Having a child, another nightmare element of this scenario.

1466
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 3: Now it is two months later, and things are just

1467
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 3: starting to settle down. I realize I am starting to

1468
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 3: process what happened. For the last two months. I've just

1469
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 3: been in survival mode, and now it's hitting me how

1470
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 3: much happened in one week. It's like my mind couldn't

1471
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 3: process how fast reality was. It feels like I ran

1472
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 3: a three second quarter mile. I did have a slight

1473
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 3: mental breakdown recently. Fair, Fair, I'm breaking down right now.

1474
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 5: Uh, I'm not really, I'm just my eyes are watery

1475
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 5: because I think I'm tired.

1476
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,440
Speaker 3: Aw, what something to drink?

1477
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 5: This is I never you I should be afraid of this.

1478
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:03,800
Speaker 5: Now I'm going to be just.

1479
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, Every every couple of weeks, you just tell your

1480
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 3: partner go get a test.

1481
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:09,400
Speaker 5: You make sure you not secretly pregnant.

1482
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 3: I'm sure secretly. We don't know, don't we never know?

1483
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 4: How do we know?

1484
01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 3: I feel like most people think that time has passed

1485
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:18,840
Speaker 3: and everything's okay now. But it's lately that it's been

1486
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 3: hitting me so much harder, how much my life changed.

1487
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 3: I love my wife and son, but I cannot help

1488
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 3: look it back and feel like I should have done

1489
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 3: more and been more prepared. I think every parent feels

1490
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 3: that way at times. Now. I know what everyone's going

1491
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 3: to ask, how did you not know? That's the number

1492
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 3: one question I get, and my wife gets as well.

1493
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 3: But there was literally no signs. My wife had no

1494
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:41,320
Speaker 3: morning sickness, did not show. My wife even claims to

1495
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 3: have had her normal cycle the whole time. Yeah, that

1496
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 3: is a case for there are certain women who will

1497
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 3: have cryptic pregnancies and still get their period. Just two

1498
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:50,960
Speaker 3: weeks before my son was born, we had no idea

1499
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 3: he even existed. Is it wrong that, now that things

1500
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 3: worked out, I feel the weight of what happened? No,

1501
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 3: not at all. That's the thing is, when you go

1502
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 3: through something so crazy like this, where you literally don't

1503
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:06,160
Speaker 3: get to rest for a moment, it doesn't hit you

1504
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 3: until you get that moment of like, oh okay, I

1505
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 3: get to breathe now, WHOA, my life is insane? Like

1506
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,440
Speaker 3: that's okay, You're you're coming to terms with it and

1507
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:15,040
Speaker 3: that's fine.

1508
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're not doing anything wrong. Yeah, I'm just I'm

1509
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:19,960
Speaker 5: in awe of you.

1510
01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:22,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, oh, he give yourself a break. It

1511
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:26,080
Speaker 3: does not. You don't have to be like overjoyed all

1512
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:28,600
Speaker 3: the time. You're allowed to take a minute and say, wow,

1513
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 3: this is really not how I expected my life to go.

1514
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 3: And also, you know, mourn for the time you lost

1515
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 3: in preparation. That's okay, but just like no, you know

1516
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 3: you're doing the best you can take it one day

1517
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:40,440
Speaker 3: at a time. Comments coming one. It isn't wrong to

1518
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 3: feel the overwhelming feeling of everything that happened, but try

1519
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:44,840
Speaker 3: do you enjoy it and get settled in. I have

1520
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 3: four kids now, and I can honestly say you're never ready.

1521
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:49,840
Speaker 3: Even after the first one. You both had a blessing

1522
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:53,360
Speaker 3: in disguise. Our first baby. Was worrying about everything leading

1523
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:56,080
Speaker 3: up to the birth, finances, getting the house ready, trying

1524
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 3: to get us ready very short window may have been exhausting,

1525
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,720
Speaker 3: but in the long run, you see at least six

1526
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 3: months of stress. Even when you have all those months

1527
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:05,400
Speaker 3: to prepare, it really is close to having all the time.

1528
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 3: For some reason, there isn't time to get everything done.

1529
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 3: Kudos to you guys forgetting it figured out even faster.

1530
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 3: The no sleep, no time off autopilot you have to

1531
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 3: go into would have happened anyway. I had to work

1532
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 3: on and off the day our first was born. Wow.

1533
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:20,200
Speaker 3: I worked right across from the hospital. I had to

1534
01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 3: go back and forth because her labor was so long

1535
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,720
Speaker 3: and my work was not prepared for me to be gone.

1536
01:04:24,800 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 3: Yet that this is me off at work, does not

1537
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 3: you know, give proper paternity maternity you know, leave. It

1538
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:35,680
Speaker 3: should be criminal, should be. It is amazing what we

1539
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:38,240
Speaker 3: can do when we have to try to enjoy it.

1540
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 3: And folks, that is the end of that story.

1541
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:40,640
Speaker 4: Wow,