Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Naser, Here's Nicky. Hello here I am.
Speaker 1: It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. How y'all doing out there, Nicky Glazer,
Speaker 1: I am in St. Louis, Missouri with Andrew Colin. It's Tuesday,
Speaker 1: where in my apartment just live in the life. Does
Speaker 1: your coffee bugs say Brenna on it? Oh? I guess so. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's her company's mug. That's nice. I thought you just
Speaker 1: like had your girlfriend's name on your coffee mug And
Speaker 1: I'm drinking my own tears that I think when I
Speaker 1: think about her. Uh yeah, No, I mean you know,
Speaker 1: I love it. Yett Yeah? What are what? What is?
Speaker 1: Because it keeps it cold, it keeps it hot. Yetti's. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's just so much fluids in here. It's enough water
Speaker 1: in here to fucking kill a camel. But there's so
Speaker 1: many there's nalgenes that have that much fluid to like,
Speaker 1: what is it about a Yetti that has sounds cool?
Speaker 1: It does? It's like Yetti's coolers though, Like don't they
Speaker 1: make cooler brands? And now suddenly when you say Yetti,
Speaker 1: it's like it means something else. Oh yeah, I guess, so,
Speaker 1: I guess kleen X makes other things. But we all
Speaker 1: know when you say can I get a clean X,
Speaker 1: no one's talking about like their brand of paper towels
Speaker 1: or well, you know, I don't know what else does
Speaker 1: clean X make. Clean X makes. I think they make coolers.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I really have no idea what
Speaker 1: else they make. I I always I think people think
Speaker 1: of If you asked, I bet people think of clean
Speaker 1: X is just a tissue? Yeah, isn't a brand name?
Speaker 1: Dumpster is a brand name? What band aid is a
Speaker 1: brand name? Band aid? Yes, band aids? What do the
Speaker 1: Brits call them? Plasters? So? Wait what the fund? Is it?
Speaker 1: Dumpster a trash camp? And you know that the Brits
Speaker 1: call dumpster is as a brand? Is a brand pliant? No?
Speaker 1: I was watching um got something British? So I was
Speaker 1: watching an anatomy of a scandal. Have you guys seen that?
Speaker 1: Heard of good? It's so um it's good. I love it.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because there's a lot of like, wait, did
Speaker 1: he do it? Did she know? Did but he? And
Speaker 1: there's like really hot people in it. Um good decent acting.
Speaker 1: But what do I freaking know? You know? I like
Speaker 1: Cnna Miller a lot, but they keep saying, um, you
Speaker 1: know this. The main character works in um Parliament and
Speaker 1: they talk about his diary, but it's really a schedule,
Speaker 1: you know, a diary if you're like, oh, I'll check
Speaker 1: my diary to see if I can fit you in
Speaker 1: for you know, a spot of ta or whatever that.
Speaker 1: So I was wondering if when the Diary of Ann
Speaker 1: Frank came out they thought it was this like Anne
Speaker 1: Frank's schedule. Yeah, from nine to twelve, I'll be quiet
Speaker 1: in a basement and then I think I'll do the
Speaker 1: same thing in the afternoon. I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: what else he could be doing, say a lift, instead
Speaker 1: of they say the bin for the I'm gonna throw
Speaker 1: your some one said I'm gonna throw your diary in
Speaker 1: this bin. I'd say, thank you. That's a great place
Speaker 1: to put it to keep it secret. But they would
Speaker 1: really be saying, I'm gonna throw your schedule in a
Speaker 1: trash and then I'm going to take the lift. And
Speaker 1: I'd say, well, we don't have The lift has to
Speaker 1: be an elevator for us, because there's no other. The
Speaker 1: lift is just an action. I guess the lift from
Speaker 1: the airport here l y f T. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: the elevator. They no, I know, I know, but I was, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's what we would think of. I was just
Speaker 1: shift teen shift lift. What what I've just freaking around?
Speaker 1: I don't know. That was a non sega. The queue
Speaker 1: they say that instead of lining up in the queue
Speaker 1: from the bathroom, the it wants to line a line.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, que yeah. And I hate the word way
Speaker 1: it's spelled que. It's like qui quique. It's like bananas
Speaker 1: b A. And I hate cheers. I hate the cheers
Speaker 1: is oh cheers for thank you? Cheers cheers about holiday?
Speaker 1: I like holiday. I do like holiday for vacation. We're
Speaker 1: on holiday. But what do they say when it's like
Speaker 1: it's the holidays season? Do they think it's like summer
Speaker 1: but they're taking holidays all the time because they don't,
Speaker 1: you know, they're not as I mean, some countries in
Speaker 1: Europe take months off. They do. They care about leisure
Speaker 1: and police. Yeah, when was kind of like a fucking
Speaker 1: vacation this weekend? No you you made it a vacation
Speaker 1: a little bit, A little bit. Did you see your brother?
Speaker 1: He's not in the hamps anymore? He sold that Hampy house.
Speaker 1: I just feel like, you get another one, then you
Speaker 1: don't get out of the Hampton's forever. You're not allowed. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta buy up. Yeah, that's like the code there
Speaker 1: is not allowed to leave the Hamptons. But he did,
Speaker 1: you know, he had a house, He had an apartment
Speaker 1: in the city, so he had a house in the Hampton's.
Speaker 1: So that's your getaway right now. He has a house
Speaker 1: in Connecticut. So go from house to house. You can't
Speaker 1: go house to house. You can't. You're not allowed. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It a like you guys were on the beach at
Speaker 1: one point with the truck. You No, I would consider
Speaker 1: it a holiday. Um, we definitely. Like where did you
Speaker 1: stay for? You got? You left Thursday? Stay Thursday. Stayed
Speaker 1: in my friends ten thousand square foot house. I texted
Speaker 1: him the day of, like I said, I got the
Speaker 1: rental car. I ended up getting to night the hotel.
Speaker 1: So I texted him the day of to freaking just
Speaker 1: to see if he's in the Hampton's I was staying in.
Speaker 1: I was gonna stay in a little shitty pool house.
Speaker 1: Where in the Hamptons. Whose house is that? A different friend,
Speaker 1: a different rich friend, you ever think of doing a hotel?
Speaker 1: I did, but they're fucking like a decent hotel in
Speaker 1: the handpiece is five fifty a night. Yeah, So I
Speaker 1: stayed forty minutes away from the wedding venue to save
Speaker 1: a couple of bucks. So I texted my buddy. I
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, I'm staying in the poolhouse. He's like, hey,
Speaker 1: just staying stay in my house, like that's how they
Speaker 1: are out there. Was like, well, if you're saying, I
Speaker 1: would much if I were a girlfriend's situation this, I
Speaker 1: would much rather stay in a pool house where I
Speaker 1: know we don't have to talk to anyone, then stay
Speaker 1: in their actual house where like we're going to be
Speaker 1: on the in there. No, it was there, but this
Speaker 1: whole house to ourselves. By the way, I know a
Speaker 1: lot of people make jokes a ten th square foot house.
Speaker 1: It gets a little honey hunty in there, a little haunted.
Speaker 1: Too many rooms, too many rooms, too many weird. Rich
Speaker 1: people put up drawings and pictures of people that aren't
Speaker 1: in their families, that died, probably horrible deaths that we
Speaker 1: have no idea about, and you see their faces on
Speaker 1: the wall and they just stare at you like Oh wow,
Speaker 1: these weird drawings that they don't know. These people, the
Speaker 1: richer you get the left drawings like they like old
Speaker 1: timey drawings, old timey drawings of like a little girl.
Speaker 1: Well maybe they're well, first of all, they rent this
Speaker 1: house themselves. But you know you were creeped out by
Speaker 1: this brand new house in the Hampton's No, it's an
Speaker 1: old house, old house, not that old, but old enough,
Speaker 1: and you got scared of ghosts. I mean, Brandon was scared,
Speaker 1: which then lingers over to me having to be the
Speaker 1: man of the house, and you know she's relying on
Speaker 1: me to not fight this little troll. Do you just
Speaker 1: stay in a sector of the house or do you
Speaker 1: are you taking up space? Yeah? We had one room
Speaker 1: and then downstairs living. You know, when you have twenty rooms,
Speaker 1: you end up staying in two. That's what I've learned.
Speaker 1: You know what city you're in, you go to a
Speaker 1: couple of places. What am I gonna? I was just
Speaker 1: talking about this. I do not want a big house.
Speaker 1: I love the size of my apartment. When I lose something,
Speaker 1: I know it's within two rooms. I hated growing up,
Speaker 1: like I'm not. I hated it, but we moved from
Speaker 1: a very small house to a bigger house in sixth grade,
Speaker 1: and suddenly it could be any anything you lose, could
Speaker 1: be anywhere. It's it's so it just turns into a
Speaker 1: lot more work to find things now, and then the
Speaker 1: joy of moving to New York and living in a
Speaker 1: studio or something even close to that. It's like it
Speaker 1: is within an arm's length of me. Whatever this thing
Speaker 1: I'm looking for, and if it's not, it's gone forever
Speaker 1: and I can just move on with my life. And
Speaker 1: how did it get in that other room? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, how did it give me? We
Speaker 1: had a room the childhood house you're not really that
Speaker 1: afraid of. But we moved into a house when we
Speaker 1: were twelve where there was a room we never went in,
Speaker 1: Like it was kind of understood that this room is
Speaker 1: kind of scary. What was it? It was like an
Speaker 1: addict slash room, but it was and it was what
Speaker 1: would it be? Was it decorated? Was it did have
Speaker 1: a bed? But there was the TV room connected to
Speaker 1: the attic, So we didn't even go into TV room
Speaker 1: because this attic was so scary. You know, there were
Speaker 1: a lot of I don't know what was in there,
Speaker 1: but there was noises, a lot of noise. We're scared
Speaker 1: of ghosts, so you still believe in ghosts. If you
Speaker 1: were getting scared this weekend, you believe in ghosts, um,
Speaker 1: because otherwise you wouldn't be scared. Yeah, I don't like noises.
Speaker 1: So you believe in someone broke if your would your
Speaker 1: inclination B it's a ghost or someone broke into the house. Again,
Speaker 1: this is interesting to me. This is like the appliance
Speaker 1: talk yesterday where you're like, well, that's not in the
Speaker 1: plants and I go, well, what constitutes and appliance? And
Speaker 1: you go, well, I don't know, And I'm like, but
Speaker 1: you have rules in your head. So there's something if
Speaker 1: you get scared when you hear a noise to you,
Speaker 1: you can't get scared of something that's nothing, So it
Speaker 1: has to be something to you. What is it? What
Speaker 1: could it be? What is what does your mind go to? Well,
Speaker 1: I guess the idea is the unknown? Right The unknown
Speaker 1: is what's scary. So you can't define the unknown. I
Speaker 1: would say, but if you but if I don't believe
Speaker 1: in like I do believe in can ghost now, but
Speaker 1: I don't believe in like um, bigfoot, you know. So
Speaker 1: if I heard it's big walking in the woods, I
Speaker 1: would go, it's a man in a bigfoot costume, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't go bigfoot, all right,
Speaker 1: what you know the things I wouldn't go, Oh, it's
Speaker 1: the there's a clown in the sewer. Like I I
Speaker 1: know that's not a thing, So I'm not going to
Speaker 1: jump to that. But I think some people do. They go,
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's there's a part of them that
Speaker 1: goes there could be a clown in the sewer there
Speaker 1: when the house is bigger for some reason, I do
Speaker 1: think there is a small chance that it could be
Speaker 1: haunted with some kind of creature, some kind of thing
Speaker 1: and an entity. Now do my mind might also go
Speaker 1: there fast depending on this, the safer the neighborhood, the
Speaker 1: more likelihood it's a ghost and not a robber. In
Speaker 1: my brain, that would be the opposite. Yeah. The nicer
Speaker 1: the neighborhood, the more stuff they got, but the less crime.
Speaker 1: M hmm okay, yeah. But I always think like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is it was a quiet street. They hadn't had
Speaker 1: grime here since Yeah, when a woman you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: if a child with her car like there's always there
Speaker 1: that date line episode of like we never expected the
Speaker 1: neighborhood to have anything like this happened. There had never
Speaker 1: been a murder that that's when it's going to happen.
Speaker 1: Oh dude, if you see, like if you saw some
Speaker 1: of the people you see in New York City every day,
Speaker 1: thousand of them, if you saw one of them on
Speaker 1: a quiet street, you would freak the funk out. Yea,
Speaker 1: could you imagine, just like it's so crazy how we
Speaker 1: like train our brains to like get come to bull
Speaker 1: was like that breadit thing I shared that one time
Speaker 1: where it was like the woman's like, do you want
Speaker 1: to know if you're a real New Yorker? And she
Speaker 1: just goes what like screams, and she goes and she
Speaker 1: looks like the camera. She goes, did anyone turn around?
Speaker 1: She goes, those people are tourists. If they turned around,
Speaker 1: and you just see there's people walking by that just
Speaker 1: did nothing. When this create woman is screaming bloody murder
Speaker 1: in the middle of a normal section in Manhattan, you
Speaker 1: know a day, Yeah, I mean I would not turn
Speaker 1: because the second you turn to something it is you're
Speaker 1: now accountable to it. You have to do something about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, have you ever I think I checked in
Speaker 1: maybe somebody so much it made you cry? Have you
Speaker 1: ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
Speaker 1: I want to do what a lyric quiz with you?
Speaker 1: Because you don't know any lyrics? Except that's such a
Speaker 1: blanket statement. Um, go ahead, Well you can't do Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: Well I'm not gonna do well if that wasn't Taylor,
Speaker 1: So I'm talking about? Um, what was the song that
Speaker 1: you were like? This was oh the some forty one
Speaker 1: one we were doing? Okay? Um? What about God? What
Speaker 1: did I just hear this weekend? That brought down the
Speaker 1: dance floor? It was like it was one of the
Speaker 1: Fallout Boys or something. It was one of those songs
Speaker 1: that was like I knew every lyric too, and I go,
Speaker 1: how do I know? Um? I forget it now? But
Speaker 1: what about Here I go again? On my honestly? Are
Speaker 1: you kidding me? Never know? Okay, keep going like a drifter.
Speaker 1: I was born to walk alone. Okay, night now I
Speaker 1: made up my mind. I ain't wasted no more time.
Speaker 1: Here I go again? Did it? Everyone he needed a
Speaker 1: little needed a little bit of a yea yeah, It's
Speaker 1: like when you go, cousin, why do I need that
Speaker 1: little heartbreak? And you got the best of me heartbreak
Speaker 1: A dream maker? Maybe us? What about my loneliness is
Speaker 1: killing me? And I must confess I still believe, still believe,
Speaker 1: and I'm not losing my mouth. Okay, but that's okay.
Speaker 1: You got that wasn't bad. I even got the other guy,
Speaker 1: The other guy, the other guy. Do you think there
Speaker 1: was another guy there? Oh? My god, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's definitely there was another girl. There's gonna
Speaker 1: be it was her. It's just her in the background
Speaker 1: or maybe background singers that sound like but you think
Speaker 1: it was another guy? Yeah? Man, it was a guy
Speaker 1: from Sweden that does all the hits. I wanted to say,
Speaker 1: if anyone's watching us on the YouTube, I have a
Speaker 1: I got a laser facial today. I got a micro
Speaker 1: needling PRP where they suck your blood out of your arm,
Speaker 1: just a vein. They took it from right here. Okay,
Speaker 1: So they they take your blood and then they spin
Speaker 1: it around in a thing. I got it on my
Speaker 1: scalp too when I was losing my hair back in
Speaker 1: the day. And they spin around a thing and they
Speaker 1: and then it sucks out all the plasma and then
Speaker 1: they throw it away and then a guy jerks off
Speaker 1: and they just use that. No, that's the show I'm
Speaker 1: watching on Netflix. Have has anyone heard of this Our
Speaker 1: Father show? Oh my god, dear god. I will never
Speaker 1: do ever do IVF treatments with a man. I will
Speaker 1: never trust. And sorry, infertility doctors out there that are
Speaker 1: well meaning, just like male babysitters, you don't get to
Speaker 1: do it. Go into some other kind of medicine coming.
Speaker 1: There's this guy in Indianapolis named Dr Klein who in
Speaker 1: the nineteen seventies and eighties practice for a really long time.
Speaker 1: Women would go adding infertility issues. They would either get
Speaker 1: a donor from you know, like a catalog because back
Speaker 1: when it before it was digitized. They would pick out
Speaker 1: a donor and catalog and or they would bring in
Speaker 1: their husband sperm because they were just having trouble having
Speaker 1: sex or just like whatever it was, and the husband
Speaker 1: would go and jerk off in a cup or whatever.
Speaker 1: Or they pick out the donor that they like, you know,
Speaker 1: to become a donor, you have to have like you
Speaker 1: have to pass tests that you don't have a bunch
Speaker 1: of diseases and like autoimmune issues and family history of
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And then this fucking doctor Klein would
Speaker 1: just throw the sample away, come as the woman was
Speaker 1: getting disrobed, go come in his office, and then go
Speaker 1: in and inject his own semen into the woman, his
Speaker 1: own warm batch. And what happened was no one would
Speaker 1: have known until twenty three and me. And then these
Speaker 1: people started getting tests, and all of a sudden, they
Speaker 1: are getting hundreds of match you know, like dozens of
Speaker 1: matches with half siblings, and they're going, what is going on?
Speaker 1: And they go, mom, did you pick out a donor?
Speaker 1: And the or they know the mom had a donor
Speaker 1: and Dr Klein as his most with most donors. They
Speaker 1: don't want any population having too many of the same father,
Speaker 1: so donors will only use they'll only use donors up
Speaker 1: to three times. So and then because they don't want
Speaker 1: sisters and brothers on an unintentionally data in each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah lot, wait, so wait a second, was he still
Speaker 1: is he still alive? Yes? Oh my god, idea, due
Speaker 1: it is the creepy it is. It is worse than
Speaker 1: any of the molested. I don't know why this thing
Speaker 1: creased me out hundreds. It's still more more coming every
Speaker 1: day because women would There are women who are dead
Speaker 1: now because you know they died of not you know,
Speaker 1: over age, and their siblings are out there that might
Speaker 1: not have netflix and might not know about it. If
Speaker 1: you were conceived in the seventies or eighties in Indianapolis,
Speaker 1: in your parents might not even tell you that they
Speaker 1: had gone to this doctor. He was the only one
Speaker 1: that anyone even went to back then to help. And
Speaker 1: even if your dad's semen would use he would throw
Speaker 1: out the dad semen. That was just he would jerk
Speaker 1: off in a room next to the dad and throw
Speaker 1: out the dads and put in his own. So all
Speaker 1: these people and guess what, there's nothing to try him on.
Speaker 1: There's no law against what he did. For some reason,
Speaker 1: it's disgusting. I wish this guy, I mean, this guy,
Speaker 1: it's all about they kind of get into it. And
Speaker 1: it turns out he's maybe into like some kind of
Speaker 1: like Aryan race type thing because all these kids, fine,
Speaker 1: I was thinking maybe Jewish c l I any not, okay,
Speaker 1: you know some kids are like my dad's a doctor,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. He was just he's so
Speaker 1: ugly though. He's such a ugly bastard too. He's so gross,
Speaker 1: And some of these kids have such cute dads, And
Speaker 1: it's truly the most devastating thing to a family because
Speaker 1: these fathers learning that they're kids who are thirty doing
Speaker 1: me is like a Christmas gift they get from their
Speaker 1: husband all of a sudden. Hey dad, um, your I'm
Speaker 1: not yours and never have been. And this is why
Speaker 1: I look different than the rest of the family. It's
Speaker 1: just so sad. Let's father, Oh yeah, dad, you're a nurse.
Speaker 1: I have a real doctor. Dad. Uh sorry, you couldn't
Speaker 1: pass the Board's dad. I'm reading about the Columbine kids
Speaker 1: right now and I'm having empathy for them for some reason. Him.
Speaker 1: But this doctor Klein is honestly like like Hitler levels
Speaker 1: of terrible to me. Something about the deceiving aspect of it.
Speaker 1: That's just I'm gonna tell you. And even creepier thing
Speaker 1: when we get back from break Andrew, I'm coming down
Speaker 1: off the road on top of a to okay, so
Speaker 1: you mentor yeah, come on, dude, I'm brilliant. I'm okay.
Speaker 1: So one of the creepiest things about this documentary called
Speaker 1: Our Father. I watched everything with captions on, you know,
Speaker 1: and in the beginning of the documentary, it just it's
Speaker 1: a lot of dramatization that they's and they really creep
Speaker 1: factor it up. But they show this doctor and he
Speaker 1: has all these like, you know, I don't know if
Speaker 1: he's Catholic or he's Christian I think, or maybe Luther.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what he is. But he has
Speaker 1: all these signs around that are like just religious uh men,
Speaker 1: geographs and like little like weavings, and you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know, he just has signs everywhere about like being
Speaker 1: Christian is the only way to be kind of things.
Speaker 1: And and they show him in this like these rooms
Speaker 1: just like jerking off. And then the very beginning they
Speaker 1: show him like from behind in his office really like
Speaker 1: dimly lit office and him just going leaning back like
Speaker 1: like in his office and it's just like and you
Speaker 1: see him like leave a patient and then like walking
Speaker 1: like and be like just for I'll be right back.
Speaker 1: And then he comes goes in his office and he
Speaker 1: like you hear him jerk off. So that's like the beginning,
Speaker 1: just setting the stage for like what is this is, guys?
Speaker 1: This is weird right, And then every single the documentary
Speaker 1: is cut up into sections of like how many siblings
Speaker 1: there are, so it would go the first is like
Speaker 1: simbling number one, and then every time and every time
Speaker 1: they always preemptively go like and my mom was told that,
Speaker 1: you know, based on the donors she chose, there would
Speaker 1: only be up to three more siblings. And then it
Speaker 1: would always go to cut to like sibling, and then
Speaker 1: there's a there's a black you know, uh screen, and
Speaker 1: then it says sibling number, and then it goes and
Speaker 1: the number keeps going like and then I'll go fifteen,
Speaker 1: and then it shows the story of sibling fifteen, and
Speaker 1: then it's like sibling and then I'll go and then
Speaker 1: Dr Klein says, well, I only did it ten times.
Speaker 1: There's only there's I only put my own spurm in
Speaker 1: because these families were struggling. Only did it ten times.
Speaker 1: And then it goes sibling number thirty seven, and so
Speaker 1: it keeps climbing throughout the thing, but every single time,
Speaker 1: because of the closed captions, it will say sibling number,
Speaker 1: and then it goes like there's like this kind of
Speaker 1: like ominous like tone underneath it. When the number comes up.
Speaker 1: It's just you would just think it was like a
Speaker 1: like almost like a Law and Order kind of you know,
Speaker 1: echo e tone. But then it says in the close
Speaker 1: caption in like brackets man moaning, So you realize that
Speaker 1: these people of what this guy's like come sound throughout
Speaker 1: the documentary. I started to Chris the other night, I
Speaker 1: was like, you haven't even seen the documentary, but can
Speaker 1: you just see what I'm noticing from having close captions
Speaker 1: on Close captations open up such a world to you
Speaker 1: that you don't know, like where things appear that you go, oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know. The director definitely was like, let's
Speaker 1: let's emphasize every number with the sound of an orchasm,
Speaker 1: but you would never know it unless you had close captions. Also,
Speaker 1: when I'm watching the show, like The Ultimatum or like
Speaker 1: any of these reality shows, it will be like tense
Speaker 1: music like it'll just say that, or it'll be like
Speaker 1: it's almost like they didn't realize that they're giving away
Speaker 1: what they're trying to do. Emotionally gripping music, um music
Speaker 1: that makes you think these two might break up, Like
Speaker 1: it'll be that specific of like telling you what you're
Speaker 1: supposed to feel and it becomes it's a nice way
Speaker 1: to see how manipulative things are on television because they're
Speaker 1: giving away their secrets. Could you hear then when it
Speaker 1: sounds like like it really sounds nothing like a come
Speaker 1: but every single time the number comes up, it just
Speaker 1: says man moaning. It's like it's like that sound at all,
Speaker 1: but it's you know that someone was like, let's secretly
Speaker 1: put this sound in, like the Beatles on a certain
Speaker 1: song called I Think Girl. I Think it's the song girl,
Speaker 1: which they pronounced girl instead of girl, but they do
Speaker 1: this part where it's like and they got to kick
Speaker 1: out of it because they were saying, but it sounds
Speaker 1: like and then you know, in Lady Gaga's poker Face,
Speaker 1: she says pop poker face, pop poker face, but she's
Speaker 1: really saying if you listen, it says fucker face fuck
Speaker 1: her face. Yeah, And it's secret things that they put in.
Speaker 1: There's even one in Britney spears um slave for you
Speaker 1: and it goes uh in safe she says, I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to. But there's some part of it
Speaker 1: that has like some it's almost like the Disney things
Speaker 1: where it's a dirty lyric instead which one it is.
Speaker 1: But no, I don't think the caption guys having fun.
Speaker 1: I think he's reading the script, which is for producers.
Speaker 1: You know. Part of me and sometimes thought to close
Speaker 1: captions was just a guy going you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like it's always just like a live guy going debates. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I always wondered how they get the closed captions in there,
Speaker 1: like how that even works on it's someone going off
Speaker 1: of a script usually if it's something that's scripted, and
Speaker 1: then if it's I think that I think a lot
Speaker 1: of it is AI just like hearing it because you know,
Speaker 1: one you can do it on your phone. You can
Speaker 1: do it with Siri. I'm wondering though. But even in
Speaker 1: the nineties, when you know, like before computers were so advanced,
Speaker 1: I remember you could turn the close captions on for
Speaker 1: The Simpsons and I would watch it with I think
Speaker 1: they would have people, but the Simpsons wasn't live you
Speaker 1: they actually had people type it out because I think
Speaker 1: I knew some people like in the two thousands when
Speaker 1: I lived in l A who would do that for
Speaker 1: timp jobs is like close captioning, oh for live stuff,
Speaker 1: not live stuff like tape stuff. They they you know
Speaker 1: before it airs, but you know when you do. I'm wondering.
Speaker 1: I see it all the time on these reels and
Speaker 1: on TikTok, mostly on Instagram reels where it will have
Speaker 1: it will caption it for you. Are you not able
Speaker 1: to go in and correct what you can? You can?
Speaker 1: Why does everyone not do that? Well? It depends on
Speaker 1: curse words. On curse words are just random words. I
Speaker 1: know you can do it certain certain ones you can
Speaker 1: do it. Another one I don't think. I've never done it,
Speaker 1: but I can't imagine. They don't have a way to
Speaker 1: edit it. They go, we'll get this right as much
Speaker 1: as possible, and then you can go back in and
Speaker 1: change it. No one does. People are lazy, including oh
Speaker 1: my god, I've done it before where I haven't changed it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't seem to make that big of a deal.
Speaker 1: But yes, it definitely does. It make sense. I think
Speaker 1: at this point, I think, honestly, I think now close
Speaker 1: captions and visuals are so ingrained in us that it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: make it nice, make it right, like a lot of
Speaker 1: people are now doing it, like even like there are
Speaker 1: people called deaf people who actually rely on it to
Speaker 1: make sense or since if as you would write it,
Speaker 1: of what of what you're saying? Why are you rubbing that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm thinking of Dr Klein. God his
Speaker 1: asked or didn't want me no, But like even like
Speaker 1: a comic like Gary Goldman, you put up a thing
Speaker 1: of his. And for some reason, I think Gary Goldman,
Speaker 1: I think he would never like he wouldn't put the
Speaker 1: captions because there's something about, you know, stand up that
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have to read it like you know, it
Speaker 1: kind of takes away the medium. But he did it perfectly,
Speaker 1: like you know. He took time because he's like me.
Speaker 1: I can't stand I tell my people who we learn
Speaker 1: Lizzo go very mad about the way that you do
Speaker 1: the dance for the I'm gonna need a sentiment am
Speaker 1: and a woman to pump me uh fuzzy um. But
Speaker 1: I want to say that like Gary is like me.
Speaker 1: There's something that bugs me so much and every comedian
Speaker 1: needs to do. If you're listening comedians and you make
Speaker 1: clips of your stand up, you're doing yourself a disservice.
Speaker 1: If you give the punchline away before you say it.
Speaker 1: The words should not appear on the screen until you say,
Speaker 1: there's a thing called timing in comedy that is essential
Speaker 1: to the joke being as funny as possible. And when
Speaker 1: I read fast, and so do a lot of people,
Speaker 1: I read the joke before people say it, and I
Speaker 1: go oh, and there's a part of you that goes,
Speaker 1: I know where this is going even though you didn't.
Speaker 1: You read it ahead of the person saying it, and
Speaker 1: it ruins it for you. I mean in Veep, I
Speaker 1: watch it all the time where I see the joke
Speaker 1: before they say it, and that's I allow that because
Speaker 1: that's TV. It's not like the If the writers were
Speaker 1: doing the close captions, they would be more emphatic about it.
Speaker 1: But I can't stand when you know, outsource my captions
Speaker 1: and it just pops up because I want I wanted to.
Speaker 1: It builds to like you don't know where this is going,
Speaker 1: and now you do if you just write the whole
Speaker 1: sentence out. I don't know. Maybe some people are slower
Speaker 1: readers and it actually does time out right. No. I
Speaker 1: think it also depends on your stand up. If you know,
Speaker 1: some people speak so slowly that their joke that is
Speaker 1: a minute long might have you know, forty words, so
Speaker 1: it's easy to type out. Essentially, it's easy to time
Speaker 1: it out if you have a lot of words. Harder
Speaker 1: to type, harder to write, harder to you know, some
Speaker 1: people do it in clumps. Whatever. This is all technically
Speaker 1: set up can be set ups. Fine, you're doing a punchline.
Speaker 1: You need the dot dot dot boom right on the
Speaker 1: right on the time you say yeah, well you say it.
Speaker 1: You say it the way for a reason, like you
Speaker 1: might be like, no, I don't pay attention to that stuff.
Speaker 1: You do you do and noise. Yeah. So bottom line
Speaker 1: is I got a laser facial. Yeah, so you have
Speaker 1: the laser facial. You go in, the draw the blood,
Speaker 1: they whip it around. Then they come back in and she, um,
Speaker 1: it hurts so fucking bad. They put um numbing cream
Speaker 1: on my face that's just now wearing off, and um
Speaker 1: they rub it all over your face and then your
Speaker 1: your face is numb and tingly. And then she comes
Speaker 1: in and does micro needling, which is it's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: there's like it's a machine, but I'm guessing it has
Speaker 1: a bunch of needles on it and it just like
Speaker 1: like penetrates your skin all over. So it just kind
Speaker 1: of like almost like tattooing kind of. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's just it's poking needles and so it's just poking holes.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing I don't know how it exactly works, but
Speaker 1: I know that it's like needles everywhere, and then they
Speaker 1: take your plasma and rub it in the open ones.
Speaker 1: Was there a part of your face where you're like,
Speaker 1: I can't stand this, Oh, the forehead because there's no
Speaker 1: fat there. It's just like bone on skin. I think
Speaker 1: it's really relates to I know I'm such a skinny forehead, um,
Speaker 1: but my cheeks are easier. But because there's more padding.
Speaker 1: I yeah, it's a little bit more bone. You got
Speaker 1: a laser to, right or no? Well, like I just
Speaker 1: call it laser because it just looks like it just
Speaker 1: is an easy way to say that your face looks
Speaker 1: all fucked up. But I got it was microanilia. There's
Speaker 1: no laser and bold, but I used to get lasers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there is a laser thing as well. I've heard, well
Speaker 1: there's tons of yeah. Yeah, I mean I get some
Speaker 1: stuff done to. Yeah, you get it done to. I
Speaker 1: actually just ordered my first balding spray. Yeah. Force it's
Speaker 1: like road gains fit aside and mock so I don't
Speaker 1: know the words. They're both big foam. It's a spray
Speaker 1: and when when do you put it on? You just
Speaker 1: put on four times, four sprays a day, like one
Speaker 1: time for sprays. And where did you hear about it? Instagram?
Speaker 1: Late last night Instagram Hymns is the name of the brand? Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and I don't We'll see what happens. I'm sure my
Speaker 1: face will fall off and grow hair or just keep
Speaker 1: the hair that you have. It regrows, it should regrow
Speaker 1: and thicken. So a lot of times it's you know,
Speaker 1: oral whatever, the finicide or whatever, and there's side effects
Speaker 1: of um, your dick doesn't work. I've already gone through
Speaker 1: that was loft. I'm not going to put a pill
Speaker 1: in my mouth that's gonna affect my cock because my
Speaker 1: cock is finally back. It's back to normal teenager level. Yeah,
Speaker 1: small and pathetic. But the spray despray, I don't know.
Speaker 1: We'll see what happens. I'm like, why not, it's not
Speaker 1: that expensive, it's not crazy. Yeah, And I used to
Speaker 1: do I used to do and I don't PRP. I've done,
Speaker 1: you know, neutrapuls falling out or was this, this was preventative.
Speaker 1: It was no, it was hormonal. I mean during the pandemic,
Speaker 1: my hair was it was it was like really, I know,
Speaker 1: we didn't hang out much during the pandemic. It was awful.
Speaker 1: I had a lot in the shower I had I
Speaker 1: would do like wall art with my hair in the shower.
Speaker 1: I had like opestries of like I would do like
Speaker 1: horses and like it looked like a cave from the
Speaker 1: Mesolithic period. Insane about hair. I am. Oh, it was.
Speaker 1: It was the worst time of my life. And I
Speaker 1: have so much empathy for anyone whose hairs. My mom's
Speaker 1: going through, like you know, stressful hair loss, like it
Speaker 1: sucks every I wouldn't take showers because every time I
Speaker 1: did it would fall out so much. But when you
Speaker 1: stopped showering, or when you stop, I wouldn't wash my
Speaker 1: hair because so much would come out. It would be
Speaker 1: like so um traumatizing. But then when you skip showering
Speaker 1: or when you skip washing your hair more falls out
Speaker 1: because it's just like releasing. So it's just every single
Speaker 1: time I would just go and I would put it
Speaker 1: up on the wall and I go, Bob, look, I'm
Speaker 1: not crazy. And then one time, my I came home
Speaker 1: from doing Jimmy Kimmel Live like guest toasting, and I
Speaker 1: remember I like came back into my parents else and
Speaker 1: I like greeted my dogs and I like was rolling
Speaker 1: around on the ground with them and they were all stepping,
Speaker 1: and I remember while he stepped on my hair and
Speaker 1: like ripped out ten strands. And what went from like
Speaker 1: I just had this amazing day and like weekend or
Speaker 1: like I just accomplished this thing that you know, I
Speaker 1: thought my career was over, and then suddenly during the
Speaker 1: summer I get to ghost guest host Jimmy Kimmel. I
Speaker 1: was inconsolable. I just couldn't believe that, like, in addition
Speaker 1: to all my hairs falling out naturally, something pulled out
Speaker 1: like ten ten. Like it was it was the worst
Speaker 1: thing that's ever happened. I know that sounds crazy. It
Speaker 1: was honestly one of the worst thing I would have rather.
Speaker 1: I told my dad. I was like, I'd rather my
Speaker 1: arm fall get cut off. I'm not. I wasn't joking.
Speaker 1: Like it was that deficitting to me that just the
Speaker 1: idea that something that didn't need to go went when
Speaker 1: I was just so it was just like all so
Speaker 1: now I never lay on the ground with the dogs
Speaker 1: because if they stepped on my hair in a weird way,
Speaker 1: I like know that I'll just lose my fucking mind.
Speaker 1: I remember, I remember when my hair start did fall out.
Speaker 1: A lot of it was stress related. I remember being
Speaker 1: the shower and having like clumps. For some reason, my
Speaker 1: hair is like stayed kind of this. I don't remember
Speaker 1: the longer. It just was thicker. It was just thicker.
Speaker 1: You know your hair falls out probably now, and then
Speaker 1: it just falls out of your hair because it's long hair.
Speaker 1: That's why girls, and especially if your hair is curlier
Speaker 1: or more textured, when it falls out, it just stays
Speaker 1: in there until you wash it and then you run
Speaker 1: your hands through and that's when it all comes out.
Speaker 1: Whereas if you're someone with straight like hair, that kind
Speaker 1: of it's falling out throughout the day in a way
Speaker 1: that others aren't. So maybe it is falling I don't
Speaker 1: even realize it. But as a woman, as a woman,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like you go bald as it's not
Speaker 1: supposed to happen to women. It's a you know that
Speaker 1: look like bald spot that you can be like oh,
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's alopecia, which almost would I don't want
Speaker 1: to minimize alopecia at all, but at least when you
Speaker 1: have like a bald spot, you can be like something
Speaker 1: is wrong. But when it's all falling out everywhere and
Speaker 1: your hair is just like thin and like you can
Speaker 1: like see through on your scalp, it just feels different
Speaker 1: than like my friend Sara Lena used to have a
Speaker 1: bald spot and it would just be one area. Or
Speaker 1: my one friend has tricket to lamnia and she has
Speaker 1: one area that's just a bald patch right behind her ear,
Speaker 1: and she could kind of flip her hair and show it. Devastating.
Speaker 1: For sure, there's something about it being concentrated as opposed
Speaker 1: to like when it's everywhere concentrated. No, I don't think
Speaker 1: it is. I think that's your everything. I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to but no, no, no, I think you're right. I
Speaker 1: just read about it because Will Smith. I was like,
Speaker 1: what is out? Oh my god, it's horrible. Jeff Ross
Speaker 1: came out about it after and he hit it for
Speaker 1: years on the road, and a year later he was
Speaker 1: bald ye and he lied about and said it was
Speaker 1: just a choice. He had no eyebrows. He suddenly, as
Speaker 1: a comedian couldn't make it like his eyebrows. It's weird
Speaker 1: to show like you expressions, you know. He suddenly was
Speaker 1: just robbed of like how he emots and how he
Speaker 1: looks on stage, and like it was devastating. He had
Speaker 1: to lie about it. He was like, I lied on
Speaker 1: Roguan about it. I just said it was like a choice,
Speaker 1: and it was like not a choice. His hair just
Speaker 1: started falling out out of fucking nowhere. And and then
Speaker 1: he wrote this. He came out about it because of
Speaker 1: the oscars, because he had full on like dreads the
Speaker 1: year before, and then he was completely bald the next
Speaker 1: his alopecia. Yeah, and he he says that, you know,
Speaker 1: he knows a lot of people that have it, that stuff,
Speaker 1: that wear wigs, and no one knows people in Hollywood.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's such a shameful thing hair loss that
Speaker 1: people don't talk about. But my grandpa used to go,
Speaker 1: don't use a towel, don't ever dry your hair with
Speaker 1: a towel because he was bald, and he would have
Speaker 1: my grandpa marked. Did he say don't wash your towels
Speaker 1: because you stuck to that you know I'm not dirty anymore, Nikki.
Speaker 1: You can't keep bringing it up. That's the old me.
Speaker 1: Brenda does it now and I actually do with something.
Speaker 1: But my grandpa Marvin, he would take one he had
Speaker 1: like ten hairs that you don't have anymore, and then
Speaker 1: he would grow it like take around and swirl it around,
Speaker 1: and then it get a little windy. And that bitch
Speaker 1: was like Bill Murray and Kingpin. Oh which universe? I
Speaker 1: don't know how universe, and it would just it would
Speaker 1: just start like turning into like a like, um, what's
Speaker 1: that snake? And rattle out of don't ever use a towel. Okay,
Speaker 1: we gotta get to the news first. Oh boy, I
Speaker 1: hope you're having all the swells out there. Apparently we
Speaker 1: are here. Uh it's Tuesday, folks too. Man. Have you
Speaker 1: ever thought about life and think about stuff and then
Speaker 1: everything falls apart back to you? Noah? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you guys are gonna be on the road this weekend.
Speaker 1: Two shows in Boston and then two shows two or
Speaker 1: three shows Connecticut Foxwoods. Really, Oh my god. Two and
Speaker 1: two is the big weekend. Yeah, the will Bat two
Speaker 1: shows on I think they're selling well too, so um,
Speaker 1: but get in there. We're doing meet and greets all
Speaker 1: that stuff. Have new merch available um and you can
Speaker 1: as always get our merchandise at Nikki Lazer dot pod
Speaker 1: shop dot com or posh nick Lazer dot com. I'm
Speaker 1: excited for June eleven because you'll be in Phoenix and
Speaker 1: I'm going to come see you guys. Oh, we should
Speaker 1: do a live time. That would be so fun. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe put it out in the world, just throwing it
Speaker 1: out there world, passing it out. Okay, what's the news story? Okay,
Speaker 1: first story, I think you're gonna love. I think I
Speaker 1: know what it is. Rabid fire. You want to No,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go okay and Arby's huh. An
Speaker 1: Rby's manager was caught urine aiding in the milkshake mix
Speaker 1: on two occasions while under investigation for child pornography. That
Speaker 1: is hilarious that I love these while you know the
Speaker 1: things that people do, while the other thing, you know this,
Speaker 1: this is what he's doing. Why he's on bail. You're like, like,
Speaker 1: why the child pornogracy wasn't enough, Let's pay in some milkshakes.
Speaker 1: Oh I thought that's included? Oh okay, Oh I see
Speaker 1: I thought you're needed for sexual gratification. Like, I guess
Speaker 1: that was like found out. Um, and when officers executed
Speaker 1: a search warrant, they uncovered dozens of photos and videos
Speaker 1: depicting the sexual exploitation of children, as well as the
Speaker 1: urine video on his digital devices. Oh, this poor fucking guy.
Speaker 1: What made him this way? You know what the funk
Speaker 1: happened to? This is what he's into. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know that's the worst thing to go to. There's people
Speaker 1: victimized by this guy, especially people who drink those milkshakes
Speaker 1: and children. Um, but Jesus Christ, what makes someone like this?
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I wonder if people were
Speaker 1: how did he get caught? Like did people just taste
Speaker 1: the milkshakes? How did it? Well that's what it was.
Speaker 1: While Um, he was being investigated, I guess they uncovered
Speaker 1: fat like from the videos. So oh wait, So what
Speaker 1: came first? The child porn of the milkshakes? Probably the
Speaker 1: child pornography he was he was being investigated for child porn,
Speaker 1: and then they found videos of him pissing in the milkshakes. Yes,
Speaker 1: oh god, the videos drank those milkshakes and didn't fucking
Speaker 1: know yep. So God, I think this is the best
Speaker 1: vegan um way to get people to go vegan. It's
Speaker 1: just say that that, you know what, they might be
Speaker 1: pissing in your milkshake. Yeah, I mean, I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to think of if I've ever had any milkshake. I haven't.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had rbs? Oh? Yeah, I used to
Speaker 1: love the five sting that weird barbecue you saw that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're right. It is a little vinegar.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh it I get the beef and cheddar there. God,
Speaker 1: what a weird order to go to be like mouth watering.
Speaker 1: I hate this story. God, I'm sorry, no, but like pissing,
Speaker 1: and and I wonder why no one else saw him
Speaker 1: do it? Like why is anyone ever alone with the
Speaker 1: milksh He's he's manager manager. Oh yeah, God, these people
Speaker 1: cannot help them, so thank god. They can't help themselves.
Speaker 1: They want to get caught. They know they're doing something
Speaker 1: wrong and they can't help. But just push it to
Speaker 1: the where someone's going to catch them. I just heard
Speaker 1: he's tough on interviews. Oh my god. And you know,
Speaker 1: like I've said, the child born thing is so fucking weird.
Speaker 1: You guys they don't do it for money. They all
Speaker 1: do it just because they want to provide content for
Speaker 1: other people who are into it. It's all about trading
Speaker 1: and just like lending out. Like that's the weirdest part
Speaker 1: of that whole thing for me for some reason. Did
Speaker 1: you ever know fast food and go? I wonder what
Speaker 1: they're doing to you? And you know what, I think
Speaker 1: it's so weird when people find out, you know, what
Speaker 1: goes on behind the scenes, or they go. You know,
Speaker 1: the other day, Chris was talking about on this radio
Speaker 1: show that he worked somewhere and he saw them. He
Speaker 1: worked at some restaurant and it was really disgusted that
Speaker 1: they were washing out you know, the bins that keep
Speaker 1: the food in or the they were washing plates. And
Speaker 1: then the woman took the same sponge and used it
Speaker 1: to white wash um the sink and like dump the
Speaker 1: pan of like dirty will mop water in there and
Speaker 1: then washed it down with them, And I'm like, of
Speaker 1: course they're doing that. I just don't if something is microscopic,
Speaker 1: I do not care about microscopic pisss of piss, But
Speaker 1: I assume there's I'm assuming there's grams of piss and
Speaker 1: ship and everything. I need and you can't taste it,
Speaker 1: Like you know you can't taste bugs. You're gonna have
Speaker 1: taco bug one time, Taco bell. Yeah, And I swear
Speaker 1: to God, I'm not kidding. I pulled out like a
Speaker 1: little tiny bug and it kept moving and I go
Speaker 1: it go. It just kept it going. I mean it
Speaker 1: was small enough where I was like, it's not like, no,
Speaker 1: I took the bug out, but you didn't. He as
Speaker 1: seemed like, what's the odds of there being another buck?
Speaker 1: They never Honestly, I don't think it's gross if there's
Speaker 1: a bug in my food, I just I only take it.
Speaker 1: I don't want more bugs and I don't want to
Speaker 1: eat a bug. I don't care what the bug left behind.
Speaker 1: I assume there's fly ship everywhere. Yeah, but like if
Speaker 1: I can't see it, I don't. I don't care about
Speaker 1: what I can't see. Now. Are you afraid to send
Speaker 1: things back to someone spinning on it? You ever think
Speaker 1: about that? No, because I'm very nice when I send
Speaker 1: things back, and I make it very werare like I
Speaker 1: know this isn't your fault, or like back there, I
Speaker 1: just like if it's Yeah, No, I'm never scared of
Speaker 1: because usually things I'm ordering, I would be able to
Speaker 1: tell if they spit in it, And if they did
Speaker 1: and I can't tell, then I'm then it's fine. The
Speaker 1: piss thing, I think I would be able to tell piss.
Speaker 1: I don't want to drink with piss in it, but
Speaker 1: I think that if it had even the slightest taste
Speaker 1: of piss, I would not want to. I would not
Speaker 1: just go taste at off. I would just go look
Speaker 1: all the suffer. Oh yeah, it's control piss to come. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it definitely is. Okay, but ready for some good news? Sure, Okay.
Speaker 1: The UK's public health services are officially prescribing stand up
Speaker 1: comedy classes two men at risk of suicide from mental
Speaker 1: trauma or depression, to push them over the edge. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's what I think. I was like, this is a
Speaker 1: worrible idea. Have you ever bombed? Okay, so they're prescribing
Speaker 1: comedy classes, yep. After a pilot program proved outrageously success full.
Speaker 1: According to this kind of pilot, like a TV pilot
Speaker 1: or like a flying like they tested like a pilot
Speaker 1: like they tested it a pilot program. Oh, I thought
Speaker 1: it was a different word in England. I thought pilot
Speaker 1: there meant uh an actual flying right right qu um
Speaker 1: q and on um you Yeah, I mean that's sweet.
Speaker 1: I think that. I think anything that is, you know,
Speaker 1: a class, something that people are learning together, something that
Speaker 1: gets a part of your brain working in a different
Speaker 1: way is always helpful for depression. Um, all jokes aside
Speaker 1: a class. That class really did, Like I was very
Speaker 1: depressed when I started stand up and I was seeking
Speaker 1: and you really did put all jokes aside when you
Speaker 1: started well yeah, I mean I wanted to save them
Speaker 1: for later. And by later, I mean if you want
Speaker 1: to do com Yeah, all jokes inside you should have
Speaker 1: on the paper and the diary. It's so it's anything
Speaker 1: that is social, like making you interact with people and
Speaker 1: like think in a different way and think maybe outside
Speaker 1: yourself and support other people. The problem is, is like
Speaker 1: anything the highest, so high from doing well in it
Speaker 1: and like doing well in the class, and then you
Speaker 1: think you get cards. I got cards made like within
Speaker 1: the first week of like becoming you know, I had
Speaker 1: my first show. Wait, you got cards? Yeah, And you
Speaker 1: want to know what I did? You know what I did?
Speaker 1: You know what I did? I had cards made of
Speaker 1: just me. I gotta find them it's a drawing of
Speaker 1: me with a mustache and my grandpa's hat and the Wookie.
Speaker 1: And then I just put my name on there, no email,
Speaker 1: no phone number. I go, if they're gonna want me,
Speaker 1: they're gonna find me. And I just put Andy Shallows
Speaker 1: on there. Wait were you? Was there a presence online
Speaker 1: at all of you? Then how would they ever find
Speaker 1: you Andrew through the phone book? Yeah, Shallows, wasn't even
Speaker 1: your name. What are you thinking? Did you have a
Speaker 1: MySpace page? I think I had, I think Facebook, But
Speaker 1: it was absurd to think I'm going to be off
Speaker 1: the radar whatever my whole is. The depression was so
Speaker 1: like it was cued kind of. And then if you
Speaker 1: don't get success, boy does it come back strong. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think this is more not like turning men into
Speaker 1: comedians like the press people. It's more about like just
Speaker 1: giving them a fun thing to do. Well, here, here's
Speaker 1: how it works. So it's a it's a woman who
Speaker 1: founded the course. Um It says that trauma victims are
Speaker 1: encouraged to process their trauma in a different way so
Speaker 1: they can change who the victim is and choose the narrative.
Speaker 1: They can actually go right down into it. This is
Speaker 1: what I was thinking, and then this happened to me.
Speaker 1: This enable survivors to consciously use comedy to change their
Speaker 1: perspective on their experiences, but also puts them in a
Speaker 1: physically powerful position, because being on stage is very powerful.
Speaker 1: Oh I like that. Um, so they're probably like learning
Speaker 1: how to make that's like a class about rape jokes, yeah,
Speaker 1: or like rape or like anything horrible that happened. Do
Speaker 1: you car crash killed three people? It's just funny, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean if you do keep telling your story that
Speaker 1: it can't be funny. I mean we do that all
Speaker 1: the time. And then we're like, you gotta be depressed
Speaker 1: about that. It's too sad to make funny. It's going
Speaker 1: to be allowed to be funny. Yeah, well, it should
Speaker 1: be allowed to be funny. But I also think that
Speaker 1: some people just cannot not be funny about things, and
Speaker 1: then they never feel sad and they just they need
Speaker 1: a different class. They need just regular therapy where they
Speaker 1: perform a couple of therapy today. And we got there
Speaker 1: and we're in the waiting room when we sign in
Speaker 1: and we're like, wait, we're both so tired. He like
Speaker 1: literally is like putting his head in my lap and
Speaker 1: we're just like, can we just like sleep here? And
Speaker 1: I had to crawl out of bed to get to it,
Speaker 1: and because I got my micro needling, then I went
Speaker 1: back to bed because I was just like, oh, you
Speaker 1: know sibling number. And then I open ears, got into
Speaker 1: the I drove it's like thirty minutes away. I drove there,
Speaker 1: got there, and uh, we are waiting and waiting, waiting,
Speaker 1: and then we're starting to like just talk about things
Speaker 1: like in the waiting room that almost like like pregaming
Speaker 1: or therapy. And then she is not coming out and
Speaker 1: she's very prompt usually and then um she we call
Speaker 1: her and then she calls us back and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: did you get my email? I couldn't do that time.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh my god, why are we doing this?
Speaker 1: And then we we Chris. She was on speaker, and
Speaker 1: he goes, I just want to let you know, like
Speaker 1: this might end us like the drama. This like it
Speaker 1: was funny because she was like, oh. She was like, well,
Speaker 1: we'll talk about it next time, you can be honest.
Speaker 1: That goes back to the thing of like, now you're
Speaker 1: dealing with this late whatever. Her not showing up as
Speaker 1: a couple, and it does bring like, now you have
Speaker 1: this thing that brings you together. You can talk about
Speaker 1: the lady not showing up, and it instantly can remove
Speaker 1: any kind of other ship. Man. I love a tired boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I love when you're like boyfriend usually like in control
Speaker 1: and like you know, like running the show and which
Speaker 1: is very hot. When he's just a baby and he's
Speaker 1: just like, oh he's tired and he's I just love it.
Speaker 1: I just want him to what about like a lazy
Speaker 1: kind of droll guy. Um, I just want him to.
Speaker 1: I like vulnerability. I like when when I think, I
Speaker 1: think when guys or anyone gets tired, they're just more
Speaker 1: like I'm just like, I can't be cool right now.
Speaker 1: Like they're not going to be defensive. They're not like
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking for myself to like, I think I
Speaker 1: maybe get more defensive when I'm tired because something I
Speaker 1: don't know what happens when I'm tired. Huh cranky cranky, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean getting There's just something when when guys, my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: I like him the most when he's like I like
Speaker 1: you the most when you're tired too, because you're just
Speaker 1: like you say, like silly things and you're just like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm tired, and then you just say
Speaker 1: funny like because you're not, there's no it takes away
Speaker 1: any ability for you to try to be cool or
Speaker 1: try to hold hold in something that wants to come out.
Speaker 1: And if you're tired in a good mood, it's just
Speaker 1: there's nothing but like genuine like happiness and like love
Speaker 1: emanating from men. I think they just get It's almost
Speaker 1: like that post orgasm, like damn, Like they're just kind
Speaker 1: of like jelly and from people smoke weed. You know
Speaker 1: you smoke weed. You're just like it's not everyone everybody,
Speaker 1: but yes, there's something there's A tired guy will never
Speaker 1: reven engine, you know, like that back to like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't be kid. Takes so much effort, so much,
Speaker 1: so much anger, so much like rage to be kid,
Speaker 1: it's so ego egos dropped when you're tired, so you're
Speaker 1: not kid. Yes, oh my god, I just like I
Speaker 1: just there's something about and even like children, like when
Speaker 1: Poppy is like sick and she just gets like toddly
Speaker 1: and it's just like just like I guess I just
Speaker 1: like being needed and I like something that is like
Speaker 1: not going to require a lot of I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess kids that are sick require more attention, but they're
Speaker 1: just like they don't want to play, they just want
Speaker 1: to Like could I might? I might be a woman
Speaker 1: that like the munch House and thing where you like
Speaker 1: keep your kids and your family sick so they need you.
Speaker 1: Although I always say that Chris loves Chris's favorite thing
Speaker 1: is helping people, and I was saying too. I was
Speaker 1: driving back from this wedding with his dad and him
Speaker 1: in the car and I was talking to I was
Speaker 1: talking about, like we have of some friends who are
Speaker 1: like building a house with a guest house and all
Speaker 1: this stuff, and I'm like they must be like fucking
Speaker 1: killing it money wise, and Chris is like, you could
Speaker 1: do that, and I'm like, no, I couldn't buy build
Speaker 1: a that big of a house with a guesthouse in
Speaker 1: a pool and a pickleball court and all. And He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you could in that neighborhood, Yes you could. And I'm
Speaker 1: like I could and he's like, you don't think about
Speaker 1: what you can do with your money and I'm like,
Speaker 1: but I would just feel like this is if my
Speaker 1: mom then dies of cant Or is like getting sick
Speaker 1: from cancer and I can't spend all that money on
Speaker 1: her for her treatment. And his dad was like, what
Speaker 1: are you talking about this cancer thing? And I go, well,
Speaker 1: we're all going to get cancer. I want to be
Speaker 1: able to, you know, pay for my parents treatment so
Speaker 1: they don't stress about it, which is always my theory
Speaker 1: about saving money. And he's like, don't, don't. Don't live
Speaker 1: in the wreckage of your future. You don't live in
Speaker 1: the wreckage of your future. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: need to hear that, Mr Convey, thank you. He might
Speaker 1: be in with Chris to get a pickleball court. That's
Speaker 1: what it sounds like to me. I'm like, that's the
Speaker 1: wreckage of my present is pickleball? Also, what is how
Speaker 1: much did cancer if you have good health insurance? Well,
Speaker 1: my parents don't, okay, they've Medicaid, Medicare, Okay, So I'll
Speaker 1: say it's probably because thousand, one point six million. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think for the best for the best best
Speaker 1: cancer treatment in the world. Text him right now, Dad,
Speaker 1: with medicare, If you're talking about five years of cancer
Speaker 1: treatment for the best kind of cancer treatment for let's
Speaker 1: say a colon you know what are we looking at.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to go, mom, I got it,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. It's covered. And I don't want
Speaker 1: to not be able to do that because I wanted
Speaker 1: a pickleball court, or I wanted a guesthouse that Andrew
Speaker 1: could stay at, you know, and get scared of the
Speaker 1: ghosts in the other rooms. About alopecia too. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what my point was initially, but
Speaker 1: medicare and got cancer. Okay, I'm gonna we're gonna take
Speaker 1: Can we take a quick break and then come back
Speaker 1: with reddit. Okay, let's take a quick break because I
Speaker 1: getting sweaty in my mouth, really like nauseous. Maybe no,
Speaker 1: that didn't start there, but I'm gonna figure out what
Speaker 1: your Yeah, maybe I'm having I'm a I'm a victim
Speaker 1: from my face being you think from hell razor Nicky
Speaker 1: deep deep, I look like if you know you look
Speaker 1: you look like Speccoli? I do I look like if
Speaker 1: Speccoli married? Uh fucking Tony Hawk. Okay, guys, I gotta
Speaker 1: I gotta go check out my sweaty mouth. And we're
Speaker 1: back and we're calling Andrew's dad to find out how
Speaker 1: much cancer treatment is for about five years with colon
Speaker 1: cancer and medicare you know what I don't even know.
Speaker 1: Five years is that seems too long for colon cancer
Speaker 1: and usually good jam need to be dark about it. Wow,
Speaker 1: your dad is really pulling a your childhood on you
Speaker 1: right now. Come on, dad, be there for once. You
Speaker 1: know the best thing that's hap Oh he doesn't even okay,
Speaker 1: do it before it says this, domer. All it takes
Speaker 1: is for you to figure out his number is. I
Speaker 1: think we got all the numbers except three, so you
Speaker 1: within it would take a thousand tries to get it right. Um,
Speaker 1: and you would get Andrew's up dad. He just got
Speaker 1: a new hippe running around. Yeah. Well, um, what I
Speaker 1: was gonna say is that I don't have voice outgoing,
Speaker 1: but I don't have voicemail anymore. I don't have outgoing voice.
Speaker 1: I mean I barely do today, but I don't have
Speaker 1: voicemail anymore. My phone will not get voicemail messages. You
Speaker 1: don't understand. There's no voicemail to be had, there's no
Speaker 1: number to call, there's nothing to do. My I've set
Speaker 1: put my brother in law on it, who is a
Speaker 1: tech wizard and He's like, I've never seen anything like this.
Speaker 1: I have to go to the store, and I know
Speaker 1: that's going to be a whole afternoon. So I just
Speaker 1: don't have voicemail anymore. Guess what, don't need it. I
Speaker 1: have not had voicemail for almost a year. Everyone and
Speaker 1: I am a very busy person. If they want to
Speaker 1: get in touch with you, they'll find you on my Space.
Speaker 1: It's almost like that Andy Shallows from business are now
Speaker 1: You're getting the business. No one needs voicemail. Voicemail stupid.
Speaker 1: Just send me a text if you really need me.
Speaker 1: I haven't checked. I haven't checked my voice going on
Speaker 1: with him. He looks like a little kangaroo Alan Dr Colin, Dad.
Speaker 1: You're on the podcast right now on Nikki's so people
Speaker 1: are actually listening to it. Um So, Nikki. Nikki has
Speaker 1: a question. Um So, Nikki has some money. She's worried
Speaker 1: that if her parents ever get sick and get cancer,
Speaker 1: that she's gonna need an insane amount of money set
Speaker 1: aside to save their lives. They both have medicare She's
Speaker 1: wondering if they, let's say they got like stage three,
Speaker 1: stage four cancer, what are we talking out of pocket?
Speaker 1: Cost wise? If I just wanted to go, don't worry
Speaker 1: about it. I got it covered. You don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about it. What's it gonna be for like three
Speaker 1: years of cancer treatment? Um? You know, I don't know
Speaker 1: what kind of cancer talking about ballpark three years out
Speaker 1: of pocket? Do they have secondary medical insurance? I'm um,
Speaker 1: let's say they don't, so they have Medicare. Let's say no,
Speaker 1: but they absolutely need a second Okay, sure they do. Okay,
Speaker 1: so if they have a secondary one, what are we
Speaker 1: looking at? It's the worst case scenario. Medicare pays. Medicare
Speaker 1: doesn't pay for everything. First of all, even so they
Speaker 1: say that Medicare pays, there may be additional and probably
Speaker 1: will be additional costs. So we're in above Medicare. You
Speaker 1: do not want to be responsible for the rest of
Speaker 1: How much would that be that? Well, it depends. It
Speaker 1: could be the new oncology drugs. Couse, ten thousand dollars
Speaker 1: a month, thank you a year. But but listen, I
Speaker 1: don't want to scare you. Most of the time, Medicare
Speaker 1: and a secondary will cover most of the costs, but
Speaker 1: you must have The major thing to know is you
Speaker 1: can't just go on medic here. You must have a
Speaker 1: secondary because no one can afford a prolonged significant illness
Speaker 1: that requires uh you know, heavy duty chemotherapy and try
Speaker 1: to pay. Just think how much court that would be
Speaker 1: over the course of six months, not three years. So
Speaker 1: so they need to have secondary uh medical insurance. Okay,
Speaker 1: And you and Andrew, even though you're young and healthy,
Speaker 1: both of you need health insurance. Yes, I have health
Speaker 1: insurance to thank you, Thank you, Dr Colin. Is that it?
Speaker 1: That's it? How's your head? I didn't want to know
Speaker 1: what I was doing. I finally got into the pool.
Speaker 1: I was doing exercise and yes, I'm feeling good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so glad to hear it. Alright at the end of
Speaker 1: your segment, like you know, I would talk to you
Speaker 1: so much longer, but we have to go. We're running
Speaker 1: out of Sorry, there can't be a secondary conversation. Good bye,
Speaker 1: I Love you by famous face. Okay, yeah, so you have.
Speaker 1: So they got to get secondary? Is what where we learned?
Speaker 1: And if they don't, yeah, that's what I'm saying. But
Speaker 1: don't live in the wreckage of your future even though
Speaker 1: cancer is imminent. No, but your parents can definitely get
Speaker 1: secondary right now and they already have secondary but two
Speaker 1: I just wanted to I just don't know anyone. I
Speaker 1: want them to aple to take ambulances everywhere like Uber's.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to get it. Sounds like
Speaker 1: your fear is not rational. No offense. I don't mean
Speaker 1: to say something fucked up. But do you think like
Speaker 1: the more you talk about it, the more you're going
Speaker 1: to will it onto them? God? Will I want to
Speaker 1: get in that whale? You know what I'm saying? No? No, UM,
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, possibly, But I also think that I
Speaker 1: don't know. I would rather have that peace of mind.
Speaker 1: It's like having insurance, like me keeping that nest egg
Speaker 1: of money for and I'm doing that as an example
Speaker 1: of a catastrophe. There are many other things. Maybe their
Speaker 1: house gets infested by swallows and then they're how insurance
Speaker 1: doesn't cover it, and their ships and I want to
Speaker 1: just go, you know what, don't worry about it. I'll
Speaker 1: kill two birds. I mean I would kill two these
Speaker 1: down and then I'll kill and I got you covered.
Speaker 1: You don't have to stress about this. I want those
Speaker 1: kinds of like I I keep money away for those
Speaker 1: kind of like rainy day, and I'd rather that than
Speaker 1: buy like a big old house and be like and
Speaker 1: then go like, oh gotta worry. Then I have to
Speaker 1: worry about money again. I just like, I like money
Speaker 1: being saved because that and that gives me great pleasure,
Speaker 1: more so than a trampoline. But I guess is like
Speaker 1: being very right gets a final thought. Okay, final thought.
Speaker 1: We takes us into reddit dump. Okay, this is your
Speaker 1: fine reddit. This is your reddit dump. I love your laugh.
Speaker 1: I think people will like this one. Can we go
Speaker 1: to the one where the woman's talking the lipstick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she says how to always choose the correct color lipstick
Speaker 1: for your skin tone. Yes, okay, here goes. It's from
Speaker 1: masks were coming off in way today. I decided that
Speaker 1: I was going to wear lipstick. I read somewhere that
Speaker 1: the best shade of lipstick for a woman is the
Speaker 1: same color as the nipple. So I took a photo
Speaker 1: of the top of my nipple, took it into Mecca
Speaker 1: and picked the lipstick color. And all day my patients,
Speaker 1: my reception stuff, and people are complimenting me on my
Speaker 1: lip color. They're like, Alex, they love that lipshade on you.
Speaker 1: And it's taking everything that I have not to be like, thanks,
Speaker 1: it's the same color as my nipple. You know what
Speaker 1: it did? It made her face a tit. If I
Speaker 1: go like this, my lips have become the nipple of
Speaker 1: my face, it makes yes, I I do not I
Speaker 1: do disagree with what you're saying. I was going to
Speaker 1: say I do not disagree, but I do actually just
Speaker 1: because I understand what you're saying. But I don't think
Speaker 1: it's like it makes sure. I think that it. I
Speaker 1: think it makes sense that it's the it's your natural color.
Speaker 1: So it's not going to look like some crazy color.
Speaker 1: It's going to be a color that is that you
Speaker 1: don't have an example of on your face. What but really,
Speaker 1: your lip color is the same as your nipples. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty I'm a little confused. So is she saying, because
Speaker 1: I might want to do this a little bit later
Speaker 1: at Sephora. You take the color of your nipple and
Speaker 1: then when you put it on ash is it so
Speaker 1: doesn't make because you're at it just you're no, You're
Speaker 1: just it's just a way to find what natural kind
Speaker 1: of lip color will look the best on you. So
Speaker 1: it's going to be different than your lip color, but
Speaker 1: not that much. And it's just going to be. Your
Speaker 1: nipple color is usually like in um, it goes along
Speaker 1: with your skin tone. Like usually your nipple color is
Speaker 1: related to your overall skin tone. I think that most
Speaker 1: people that are like have a you know, a darker
Speaker 1: skin tone, olive skin tone, have like more brown nipples
Speaker 1: or like more you know, Irish women have like like
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of, like my favorite lip color
Speaker 1: always is a and every makeup artist I've ever worked
Speaker 1: with noses about me, and it's always I cannot stand
Speaker 1: a dark lip color. I will not take anything that's
Speaker 1: even slightly dark. I like beiges, and I like pinks
Speaker 1: almost like this microphone. That's why I like this color
Speaker 1: pink because I just I like, um, almost bubblegum translucent pink.
Speaker 1: And I gotta say, let me just check, are you
Speaker 1: describing your nips? Don't look they're translucent. Honestly, it's it's
Speaker 1: not wrong like color, Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But but that woman in that video, if you saw
Speaker 1: her nipples are definitely very dark because her lip color
Speaker 1: was dark. But her also I think that there's something
Speaker 1: to it because I've gone the other way where I
Speaker 1: I know already know what lip color looks best on me.
Speaker 1: It just so happens it's the same as my nipple
Speaker 1: and I and so it kind of checks out. I
Speaker 1: thought that was very interesting. Um let's listen to um.
Speaker 1: This is from Oddly Satisfying the subreddit, and it says
Speaker 1: the small duck running around the house. And it's the
Speaker 1: sound of a duck's feet on different surfaces in the
Speaker 1: house or around the house, appliances of her little flipper
Speaker 1: flopper feet on different surfaces. Is on a deck, it's
Speaker 1: on the back. This is on a carpet. Oh so cute.
Speaker 1: Where is this one? Concrete? Oh? Harward floor? Is it
Speaker 1: that satisfying to you? Ducks would be terrible burglars. I
Speaker 1: want to tell you that they really can't want quiet.
Speaker 1: Everything's pretty loud. Chris and I used to love to
Speaker 1: throw duck, you know, bread on a duck's back because
Speaker 1: it would go like the sound of of like a
Speaker 1: thick piece of bread like on a duck's back where
Speaker 1: it would just like land on the wei. We would
Speaker 1: try to hit him in the feathers, like on the back,
Speaker 1: like not hurt them, but like soft pieces of bread
Speaker 1: going like it was like our favorite sound. Is there
Speaker 1: any kind of sound that really is satisfying to you
Speaker 1: that you can think of? I mean that was nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's something about like a flap um. I love the
Speaker 1: sound of Marion when she is sleeping the cat cats
Speaker 1: per that's really mango. Just it sounds it's like white
Speaker 1: noise kind of thing. Well wait tell me if it
Speaker 1: sounds like this is my white noise machine app and
Speaker 1: it has a cat in it. I think there's a
Speaker 1: vibration to it too, Like you could feel feel the vibration.
Speaker 1: And we used to have these little like cats that
Speaker 1: had a hollow like they were like, you know, play
Speaker 1: animal cats. Oh, here it is. Let you see what
Speaker 1: I mean. Yeah, so we used to have this. You
Speaker 1: feel the vibration, you can feel it? Right? I wonder,
Speaker 1: Well it was. It was the coolest toy. I want
Speaker 1: to get one for Poppy. I wonder if I can
Speaker 1: find them on eBay. But they if you had one
Speaker 1: of these, we write to me because I feel like
Speaker 1: me and my sister were the only ones that had them.
Speaker 1: It was a They were little per cats, the cats
Speaker 1: that would purr, and what they had was a hollow
Speaker 1: head that had probably plastic lined inside. With little spikes
Speaker 1: and a little ball that would roll around inside it
Speaker 1: so it would make the sound of purring from this
Speaker 1: ball rolling around in its head. It was a toy
Speaker 1: and I loved it so much, much like this toy
Speaker 1: that I found on a Reddy dump. I didn't even
Speaker 1: send this to um Noah, but I feel like I
Speaker 1: can just play it here. This was my favorite toy
Speaker 1: and I referenced it on my on my show, um
Speaker 1: Uh welcome Nicky. I was like, where is Nikki Glazer? Question?
Speaker 1: That would have been a good name for it. But
Speaker 1: I remember this commercial and I remember every lyric to
Speaker 1: it like it was the hit song of the time,
Speaker 1: round stipaying, Yeah, their best thing of all, there's a
Speaker 1: counter on this ball. See if you your very best score,
Speaker 1: see if you can skip a whole lot more. It's
Speaker 1: the solid tear of jump rope. But the very best
Speaker 1: thing of all, there's a counter on this ball. That
Speaker 1: guy said, there's the very besticket of all. There's a
Speaker 1: counter on this ball. He must have been so psyched
Speaker 1: when he came out with that. Oh man, I think
Speaker 1: I'd be really good at making theme songs for kids toys. Yeah, jingles,
Speaker 1: I think jingles are just the perfect amount of like,
Speaker 1: you know, even writing the theme song for my show,
Speaker 1: it's the perfect amount of time that like there's I
Speaker 1: don't have to write too much. It's just quick. We're
Speaker 1: in and out jingles. It's a it's not like a
Speaker 1: whole story, a couple of lines that really get you going.
Speaker 1: That those two lines really make me want to buy
Speaker 1: a skip it. Well. There was this time when I
Speaker 1: was in Thailand with Chris, like early on our first
Speaker 1: month of our relationship. We went to Thailand and um,
Speaker 1: I just I came put the jingle for there was
Speaker 1: so many dogs, like just chilling everywhere, a little stray dogs.
Speaker 1: And there was a dog on a bike one time
Speaker 1: that was just like waiting outside for its owner. But
Speaker 1: it was like on this bike just like yeah, And
Speaker 1: I was like, everybody loves a back dog and man
Speaker 1: that has lasted forever, just that little everybody loves. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can see it. I could see it. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: see a bike dog, you feel good about yourself? Yeah,
Speaker 1: not good, you feel it's just not it's relaxing. You
Speaker 1: just see him just a little pause. Another jingle I
Speaker 1: created in college when people would litter on the street
Speaker 1: and I said, that's not cool. And then I realized
Speaker 1: that a lot of people litter by just placing things
Speaker 1: upright like you're it's not littering if you just set
Speaker 1: the cup down. People do this in parking lots where
Speaker 1: they'll just dump their trash, but it's not trus because
Speaker 1: they put the cup upright like almost like they're just
Speaker 1: setting it there to come back and get it. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: you're not. But if they don't throw it, then it's
Speaker 1: not litter. And I realize a lot of people were
Speaker 1: just I one time was making fun of those kind
Speaker 1: of people, and I go, it's not littering if you
Speaker 1: hang in on a pull. And that was another jingle
Speaker 1: I created. And I mean we ended the show with wraps.
Speaker 1: Every time you want to kick us off, I kick
Speaker 1: us off. That makes me think the cup thing of
Speaker 1: I remember being hungover in Vegas, and if you sit
Speaker 1: on a bench, you're just like you're just a regular person.
Speaker 1: You lay down on a bench, now you're homeless. Laying
Speaker 1: on a bench makes you home. I mean, you can
Speaker 1: kind of put the bike dog thing to anything. So
Speaker 1: we gotta go. This is the end of the show.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to wrap, but I gotta give it
Speaker 1: a try. Wrapping is really hard. I'm not pretending like
Speaker 1: I'm good. This is just the way it is. It's
Speaker 1: not the way it should be. I gotta go. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go take a nap. My face got micro needled.
Speaker 1: I'm bleeding like a wap, a wet ass pussy, not
Speaker 1: one that's wet with hum, one that's wet with blood.
Speaker 1: And this rap is really dumb. I wouldn't say it's um.
Speaker 1: It's definitely full of come from your doctor, Klein. I'll
Speaker 1: kick it from behind. I've never slapped my balls, but
Speaker 1: I feel like I'll rewind. Every time I look at
Speaker 1: my watch, it goes to three. It never went to two.
Speaker 1: And it's that because I'm a honeybee. No, It's because
Speaker 1: I'm sugar and that's where I go to eat and deliver.
Speaker 1: I always wear. So I think people would would probably
Speaker 1: a subscribed, but the people that stick around people would
Speaker 1: erase their reviews, and they're start like they would actively
Speaker 1: go back to re review even if they're negative. They
Speaker 1: would get out of it. Guys, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening and putting up with us. Today. We gotta go.
Speaker 1: I'm micro needled um and Andrew is micro penis. We'll
Speaker 1: see it tomorrow on the show Don't Be Coop and
Speaker 1: what I'm just thinking about Your parents ship manifest