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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Mila.

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Speaker 3: Happy hump day, y'all. How are you feeling, my dear?

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Speaker 1: I feel good?

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Speaker 3: Are you sure?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Don't just put me out there.

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Speaker 3: Erica has been having a couple of vers brickstowns this week.

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Speaker 4: We launched this challenge in September of like mindfulness and

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Speaker 4: just you know, I'll take care of yourself, and like,

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Speaker 4: I've been pretty good, but I fell off a bit

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Speaker 4: and I've just been not really making sure to sleep and.

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Speaker 1: Just prioritize myself at all. And you know, I had

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Speaker 1: the results of that happened a few days ago. So

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Speaker 1: I just had to cry a lot. I feel like

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Speaker 1: I've been needing to cry for a while and I've

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Speaker 1: been like.

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Speaker 4: Not making time for it. Literally, like I had to

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Speaker 4: schedule an appointment to fucking cry some shit, and then

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Speaker 4: I did. I was on the phone with my friend

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Speaker 4: and I just started crying. And then I just couldn't stop.

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Speaker 1: Crying, even though I wanted to stop crying, and I

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Speaker 1: just couldn't.

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Speaker 4: And then I had to get off the phone, and

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Speaker 4: then I cried more, and then you know, I did

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Speaker 4: my screaming technique underwater.

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Speaker 1: That I've told you guys about and that helped a lot.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm better.

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Speaker 2: Well, dear, it's energetically, I just feel like it's just

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Speaker 2: that kind of time.

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Speaker 3: It's the full moon. Just passed.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to everybody who came and hung out with

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Speaker 2: us at our full moon night hike. That was fun.

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Speaker 2: But the full moon is in Pisces, and yeah, and

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Speaker 2: it's an emotional time. You know, we're water signs.

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Speaker 3: It's water.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot of crying and feelings and shit. So

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Speaker 2: it's okay, I love you, get it. I'm good.

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Speaker 3: I'm good.

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Speaker 2: I am still doing my Tantra challenge. That's been nice.

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Speaker 2: I'm still doing our challenge. Lots of challenges at one time.

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Speaker 2: It's been challenging. To say the least, bitch is not.

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Speaker 2: I was really pumped at the beginning, and I'm like, fuck,

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing great. So I've probably been joining the

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Speaker 2: Tanta Challenge like three or four more times just to

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Speaker 2: perfect it.

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Speaker 3: But anyway, we have some.

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Speaker 1: Guests here today, you guys.

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Speaker 4: We have the Ladies of Mommy Needs a Break Podcast,

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Speaker 4: Melissa and Meghan.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for having a How.

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Speaker 1: Are you guys feeling today? How are y'all going today?

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Speaker 3: Feeling good?

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Speaker 5: Feeling great?

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Speaker 3: Good?

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Speaker 1: You know, Dnesday kids are being watched.

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Speaker 4: I know they have Oh my god, Melissa's two daughters

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Speaker 4: are so goddamn cute.

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Speaker 1: But they're just like they're just like immediately were.

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Speaker 3: Like hi, Hi. I was like, balls want to cry.

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Speaker 1: I can't sol crying fuck.

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Speaker 5: With people that they don't know, like they have to

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Speaker 5: really like you, I feel like to like love you,

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Speaker 5: but they just.

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Speaker 3: Think hi girl.

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Speaker 5: I think maybe feeling energies though that's probably what yeah,

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Speaker 5: I can tell.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, no, you're mean No, I think it's the

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Speaker 3: mommy energy too. That's true.

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Speaker 2: Kids are like naturally little witches, like they can feel

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Speaker 2: like a dog, you know, like they doesn't know if

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Speaker 2: they fuck with you or the kids are like.

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Speaker 3: A dog, very equal computer.

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Speaker 2: Primal, pump and intuitive, like they know if they fuck

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Speaker 2: with you or not. They don't need any like background checks,

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Speaker 2: like no, not you. And then I was second guess

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Speaker 2: and either like I don't fuck with you.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell you.

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Speaker 5: We got it so funny.

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Speaker 1: Today my mom called me, She's like, hey, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go to dinner with a friend. Do you remember this friend?

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Speaker 4: And she said the name and I was like, that

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Speaker 4: was the friend I didn't like. I remember not liking

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Speaker 4: a friend of my mom's when I was about like seven.

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Speaker 4: I remember like really not liking It. Was the first

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Speaker 4: time I really did not like an adult. That was

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Speaker 4: my mom's friend, A woman was a woman, and I

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Speaker 4: told her. I remember being like, I don't like your friend.

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Speaker 4: And I was a little scorpio seven year old. I

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Speaker 4: was tapped in, and so what did your mom was

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Speaker 4: no longer around for many many years she disappeared because

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Speaker 4: I knew now she's back, and my mom was like,

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Speaker 4: we're you gonna go to dinner tonight.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh really, I was like.

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Speaker 3: Okay, did she remember that you didn't like her when

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Speaker 3: you were seven?

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Speaker 1: He's like, you know, the one you didn't like.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I know exactly who you're talking about,

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Speaker 4: because is probably the only one I didn't.

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Speaker 1: But maybe she's great now, Jesus, maybe she's wonderful now.

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Speaker 4: But just speaking to how you know, kids are just

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Speaker 4: tapped in and like they can feel things. I just

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Speaker 4: felt something.

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Speaker 1: I just wasn't a fan of her energy.

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Speaker 2: So as adults would be like we second guessed that, like, well,

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Speaker 2: she didn't do anything wrong to me, It's like, no, bitch,

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Speaker 2: you just don't like her.

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Speaker 3: You don't need a reason. Sometimes, Yeah, we need to

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Speaker 3: get back to that because it's kids, you know, like

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Speaker 3: you always wanna be like, well, I give them a chance,

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Speaker 3: like they're not.

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Speaker 5: I guess they're nice, they didn't do anything, instead of

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Speaker 5: like trusting your instinct about that stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, because then like six months later, like I

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Speaker 2: knew I should have been friends with that bitch.

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Speaker 5: I feel like i'd be more like, let me just

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Speaker 5: see what happens. No one good and well, like don't

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Speaker 5: ate him, don't talk to this person.

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Speaker 3: What's the worst that could happen? What are your sons?

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Speaker 3: What's your birth when's your birthday? April twenty six? Oh

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Speaker 3: m hm, I am oh yeah, your first year of

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Speaker 3: the rat. I like, you know, I'm half Asian, so.

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Speaker 2: I like to be well those two years, the year

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Speaker 2: you're born does matter and like Chinese, yeah, yeah, it's.

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Speaker 3: Real, it is real. It is real. My mom told

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Speaker 3: me about it.

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Speaker 1: She was like, did you read your your Chinese zodiac

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Speaker 1: for this year?

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Speaker 3: And I was just like what that's the thing.

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Speaker 5: Like she said this to me a couple of years ago,

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Speaker 5: because we've never really followed that, but she was like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: like she just read it, so I read what was going

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Speaker 5: to happen, and it was this was twenty twenty, the

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Speaker 5: beginning of twenty twenty, and I tell you, that thing

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Speaker 5: was ridiculously accurate. And I was like, this is creepy.

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Speaker 5: These Chinese people know what's up. What they said like

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Speaker 5: you were going to have one of the most like

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Speaker 5: even though everything around you doesn't look like it, you're

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Speaker 5: going to be one of the people that has the

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Speaker 5: most financially successful year you've ever had. And it was

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Speaker 5: the truth in a pandemic damne people, these people know. Pause.

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Speaker 5: She was like did you buy this? I was like, yes,

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Speaker 5: throw it away.

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Speaker 3: What was it? It was goljiberries.

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Speaker 5: She was like, you couldn't buy anything that made in China. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: the goldieberries and it was like organic goljiberries.

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Speaker 3: It was like product of child. I was like, no,

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Speaker 3: don't eat these, okay, listen to them, don't buy from them.

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Speaker 3: The standards are different over the air, and it was like

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Speaker 3: some other like it ain't no standard, ain't no standards

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Speaker 3: horse in.

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Speaker 2: America looks like America too much credit and the standards

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Speaker 2: are low. Okay, if China is competing with the United States, fucked,

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Speaker 2: We're such la bitches. Everything's like astrology Chinese New Year.

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Speaker 2: My astrologists said of the numerology, like type all the

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Speaker 2: numbers in.

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Speaker 3: We got to figure it out. What's your sign to

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Speaker 3: a psychic?

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Speaker 5: She told me to do all that, but I don't

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Speaker 5: know how to read it screenshot it, which wait, what

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Speaker 5: you mean the psychic.

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Speaker 3: Told you to read what or she told me to

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Speaker 3: go read win my moon is your natal chart?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: And so I did it and then I was like screenshining,

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Speaker 5: like can you tell me what this is? Wow?

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Speaker 4: Well that's why you need to you need an astrologer

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Speaker 4: should re dissect it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Actually, we had one on our show, this woman named

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Speaker 4: Sylvia from She lives in Costa Rica. She actually does

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Speaker 4: virtual natal chart reading. So she said, every your time

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Speaker 4: in birth, she will literally read you and break down

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Speaker 4: exactly what everything means because it's essentially like how she

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Speaker 4: describes it as like a screenshot of like the exact time.

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Speaker 3: In the world, like where the stars and planets.

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Speaker 4: Where the stars exactly were at your birth And that's

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Speaker 4: kind of like, you know, explains a lot more.

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Speaker 1: Even more than you just being a libra. Are you

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Speaker 1: being a tourists?

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Speaker 5: Your psychic?

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Speaker 3: She's, oh, yeah's.

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Speaker 5: Your psychic sound lazy?

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Speaker 1: Girls?

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Speaker 3: Like you don't have to be there for to read it.

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Speaker 3: That's why she was like, it's not as accurate if

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Speaker 3: you're not here. But like, if you want to you want.

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Speaker 1: Don't go call Sylvia. I'm gonna give you her number.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, is that like in LA attribute

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Speaker 2: of ours? But you're from down south?

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I didn't.

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Speaker 3: This was like but one of my LA friends put

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Speaker 3: me off.

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Speaker 1: Of course, yes, of.

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Speaker 3: Course, because you know what, like because where are you from?

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Speaker 2: The bear?

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I feel like when I lived down south, I lived

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Speaker 2: in Atlanta for a little bit. It's just like so

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Speaker 2: structured in like Christianity, like anything off the like I

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Speaker 2: don't do that, girl, I don't do no sache because Jesus,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, relax, it's you know, but like that's what

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Speaker 2: I was wondering, is that your psychic or no?

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Speaker 1: She is?

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Speaker 3: Well, she is. She does do like she does prayer

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Speaker 3: before she does it. She does pray.

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Speaker 5: She was just like basically, she was like, my gift

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Speaker 5: is not from the dark side. I was like, because

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Speaker 5: I feel like there are people who do have dark

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Speaker 5: side gifts.

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Speaker 3: She was like, no, I just want you to know that.

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Speaker 3: But she doesn't.

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Speaker 5: She's from the South, so she was like, I make

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Speaker 5: it work because my gift is She's like, I feel

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Speaker 5: like my gift is God given.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, that's true. Do I'm talking about prophets?

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Speaker 1: You a prophet. I guess you gotta do it like this.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: She was good. She's a.

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Speaker 2: M I need to get her number. I love a

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Speaker 2: good not a therapist. I think the psychic is a therapist.

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Speaker 2: But I was just this is totally random. It popped

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Speaker 2: into my head. Obviously I have to get out of

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Speaker 2: my chest. So we're talking about on your show. We

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Speaker 2: had a show with Epithem a moment ago. You can

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Speaker 2: go check it out over there. But about scrolling right.

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Speaker 2: So I'm not huge on the internet, but like when

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Speaker 2: I do, I get into some shit. So I found

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Speaker 2: this like sexy couple on the internet and they're like

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Speaker 2: all spiritual and voodoo and like dark but like spiritual,

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Speaker 2: and they have like alters around the house and the

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Speaker 2: nigga is real fine and he had like all these

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Speaker 2: tattoos on his face.

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Speaker 4: Wait are we following them? Because I saw them just baby, okay,

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Speaker 4: fact did you follow them? I thought you followed them

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Speaker 4: on the feed?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, who is this?

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Speaker 2: I might have I don't know who followed him, but

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Speaker 2: they caught my attention recently. And he's fine as hell,

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Speaker 2: and he had muscles and they had a pillow pitch.

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Speaker 4: They could just dropped a baby last week.

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Speaker 1: He's like.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, So I was lesting after this family, like they

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Speaker 2: look like a perfect beautiful family with their home birth

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Speaker 2: and it's fine ass.

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Speaker 3: She's a witch.

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Speaker 2: Like they're so spiritually, so pure, and I was like

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Speaker 2: looking at it with the nigga and they was like

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Speaker 2: I know them. I was like how He's like, they

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Speaker 2: be doing porn. I was like, no, they don't. He

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Speaker 2: was like, they be doing porn. I was like, are

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Speaker 2: you sure.

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Speaker 3: I was like, look how spiritual they are, They're not

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Speaker 3: done porn.

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Speaker 2: He was like, I don't know what I was thinking.

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Speaker 2: He was like, for sure, they do porn. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't believe you pull it up. Guess what for

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Speaker 2: sure they're doing.

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Speaker 1: Did you not send me this?

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Speaker 3: I thought, I said immediately, I thought I said it

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Speaker 3: to you. You are fine. He's like eating it. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I.

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Speaker 1: Know, tell me I need.

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Speaker 5: I'm kidding.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting hot and bothered. He's eating her pissy all

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Speaker 2: aggressively for a long time.

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Speaker 3: I'm like pregnant.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm surely probably if I dig enough, I'm if

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Speaker 2: they're smart. They did that too, Get those get those coins.

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Speaker 2: But it did make me just this whole conversation, the

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Speaker 2: watching it. First of all, the nigga, I knew much

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Speaker 2: more about the couple. Apparently he loves all his bitches, like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: his last wife was cold.

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Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, oh so he just keeps doing with every.

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Speaker 2: I guess so he's like his last wife was cold,

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Speaker 2: but he old like like.

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Speaker 1: Good like bad like it's like a bad bitch.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he said, but she probably spit him out.

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Speaker 1: You just stuff with all these what language?

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Speaker 2: Are you speaking what I'm speaking high okay with this accent,

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Speaker 2: and sure, that's what the nigga said.

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Speaker 3: I just he said, you know, I don't talk like that.

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Speaker 3: I know she's like speak valley. I don't understand, like

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Speaker 3: so the bitch the fine as fuck. The X wife

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Speaker 3: was bad as hell.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, I had this whole like, I was just thinking,

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Speaker 2: what was I thinking that they're so spiritual that they

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Speaker 2: couldn't be on porn and I support both lives. But

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Speaker 2: the next morning I gotta follow and I looked like

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Speaker 2: it was him, But you know, people like make fake pages,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, why would you fuck.

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Speaker 3: With me like that?

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Speaker 1: Wait? Was it a fake page?

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Speaker 2: I think it was a fake page of his. I

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Speaker 2: was hoping it was just his second page.

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Speaker 1: But it happens a lot.

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Speaker 5: Like when you follow popular people and then.

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Speaker 1: That might be your nigga and making a fake page

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Speaker 1: to follow. He's like, let's test this out.

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Speaker 2: I would have followed him the fun bag. It was fine,

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Speaker 2: al right, cool, I'm going to try and find him.

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Speaker 2: This needs to be seen. Anyway. That was totally off topic, huh,

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Speaker 2: I kind of well.

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Speaker 3: I thought about that. I'm like, are you still goals?

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Speaker 2: Like, I'm like, I'm I'm the dumb bitch that I

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Speaker 2: would get fall in love with this nugga and he'd

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Speaker 2: like just stup porn together and be like, let me

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Speaker 2: think give.

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Speaker 3: Me some next week, let me think about it. You're

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Speaker 3: gonna let me forever. Okay.

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Speaker 2: Well, anyway, they did look like a really cool couple

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Speaker 2: and they're like, like really witchy. Over there, they have

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Speaker 2: like a photo shoot in a cemetery. They have a

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Speaker 2: new baby. It looks he's like the warrior Prance. He

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Speaker 2: calls himself like, it's just really hot over there. I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna put him attack of the details of this episode.

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Speaker 3: Super important, send me that link. Okay, Okay, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna go.

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Speaker 2: On Insta Okay, yeah, because you wouldn't even know, and

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Speaker 2: he had this secret life on Instagram. Anyway, now that

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Speaker 2: I'm unhot and bothered, how did we get it?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I literally just wanted to tell anyone who would listen

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Speaker 2: that I had a crush, and then the miracle happened

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Speaker 2: that he also does porn.

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Speaker 1: You had a question that you also got to see

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Speaker 1: his dick all the same day.

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Speaker 2: Yes, perfect, that's what happened. It was anyway, it's Tarot

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Speaker 2: card time, you guys. Because I'm a witch or maybe

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Speaker 2: the second poly wife of a witch family, I volunteer today.

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Speaker 2: I pulled the Two of Pentacles.

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Speaker 3: HM.

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Speaker 2: The two of Pentacles often appears when you are busy

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Speaker 2: rushing from one thing to the next huh, with little

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Speaker 2: downtime in between. You may tell yourself that you haven't

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Speaker 2: got enough time or you're in a rush. However, remember

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Speaker 2: that you don't have to be busy to get things done.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes taking a break is the most productive thing you

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Speaker 2: can do. Similarly, the two of pinnacles can appear when

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Speaker 2: you are getting caught up in a day to day

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Speaker 2: demand and losing sight of the bigger picture. If this

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Speaker 2: resonates with you, ask yourself, what life do I want?

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Speaker 2: And how can I reorganize my schedule to create the

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Speaker 2: life I desire. The two of pentacles invites you to

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Speaker 2: manage your time and your priorities careful your workload is

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Speaker 2: high right now, and get everything and you get everything done.

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Speaker 2: You need to stay focused and productive. You may benefit

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Speaker 2: from a to do list, better calendar management, and a

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Speaker 2: stricter schedule. You guys, I told you I'm a which Wow,

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Speaker 2: why aren't we just talking about this?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Wow, We're just literally talking about this.

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Speaker 2: This is the universe telling you to slow down, keep

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Speaker 2: a vacation, stay in mind, and just know that, like everything,

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Speaker 2: everything's happening and as high as good. Just take one

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Speaker 2: day at a time, don't overwhelm yourself.

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Speaker 1: Wow, I can all use that, I think.

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Speaker 5: I think so.

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Speaker 1: I think it spoke directly to my spirit.

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Speaker 4: And I'm listening and I was already I already made

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Speaker 4: it to do list today.

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Speaker 1: Actually, so I'm right on time.

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Speaker 3: I receive that.

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Speaker 4: Do you guys have an affirmation or something that you

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Speaker 4: can share with our listeners?

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Speaker 1: I know, I asked you, Melissa.

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Speaker 5: Well, you know, I work in a creative field. We're

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Speaker 5: like serial entrepreneurs. Worries and every morning.

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Speaker 3: Like you in like eating zereal?

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Speaker 1: No, like like so many.

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Speaker 3: Girl, there's cereal is big business. You got a cereal

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Speaker 3: you heard you gotta clarify, you got a bag of tricks.

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Speaker 1: You eat cereal.

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Speaker 2: But it doesn't mean not invested in the cereal business

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Speaker 2: you got.

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Speaker 1: She might also that might be not really like serious. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you know, I really like on tap market. I haven't

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Speaker 1: seen a lot of people go into the cereal business.

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Speaker 5: No, he has rap snacks as cereal.

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Speaker 3: Is it like rap cereal will actually you know what?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Yes, I think he also has instant noodles. Does killing

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Speaker 3: the black community one one? Maybe they're not high in sodium.

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Speaker 1: Thanks decrease.

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Speaker 5: Like I don't tell like I don't tell anyone, but

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Speaker 5: I'll like sit in the mirror every morning now I'll

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Speaker 5: be like, you are the queen of creativity, and you

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Speaker 5: birth you birth amazing ideas.

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Speaker 3: Oh sit there, or.

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00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,720
Speaker 5: Sometimes I say you're the mother of creativity and you

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Speaker 5: birth amazing ideas, and I'll just sit there in the

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Speaker 5: morning like, Okay, I'm ready to go. I love that

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Speaker 5: so many ideas, and I will, like you know, stay

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Speaker 5: up all day all night trying to make them happen.

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Speaker 5: But it's literally something I tell myself, like you are

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Speaker 5: the queen, you are the mother of creativity.

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Speaker 2: I am the queen of creativity, and I have birth

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Speaker 2: amazing ideas. I know that's mother fucking right. Every day,

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Speaker 2: every day, every day I will say that to myself.

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Speaker 3: I want to say that you know you better hear me.

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00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 2: That really speaks to me because we were just talking

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Speaker 2: yesterday about why do we keep having more ideas to.

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Speaker 3: Later?

404
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 2: Must don't have one more idea our ideas.

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Speaker 5: I feel like every day that we're supposed to be

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00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,960
Speaker 5: doing right now, we're doing it because there are they've

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00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:08,320
Speaker 5: just been like taken and manipulated and recreative, but they're

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00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,399
Speaker 5: like we're really are ideas. That's how I feel. And

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Speaker 5: I also think that sometimes people steal your ideas, but

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Speaker 5: also sometimes you don't act on them, and I personally,

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Speaker 5: I feel like God takes them and give them to

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Speaker 5: somebody else, like they're never wasted.

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Speaker 3: So you got to act on the.

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Speaker 1: Stuff that you have within you.

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Speaker 3: I know you're like, what Dol's.

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Speaker 5: Do writing down? Stay with her later, because I'm telling you,

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Speaker 5: If you I don't do it, somebody else, hire someone.

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Speaker 5: That's what I've been doing. I have been like I

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Speaker 5: turned my nant, well my babysitter into a producer. Like

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Speaker 5: I had two concepts I wanted to produce literally this Sunday.

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Speaker 5: Actually she will be out in the field producing. Okay,

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Speaker 5: and she's younger than me. You know, she'd be out there.

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Speaker 5: She's you know, no, she's she's beautiful, and so some

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Speaker 5: of the ideas I know that I'm not going to

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Speaker 5: be out there doing this. I tell her and.

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Speaker 1: I make her a partner. Oh, you're empowering her. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So I've been like getting partners, you know, just because

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00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,040
Speaker 5: you know, we're fearful to like work with our friends

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Speaker 5: or work with our families, or oh, you can't do that.

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Speaker 3: She can't.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Yeah, partnership is powerful. You can't do it all,

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Speaker 2: especially when you're the birth of the ideas.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I am the coheed of ideas. You have to

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Speaker 5: learn that delegation, delegate everything just like you know what,

435
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 5: because you have put the right people in the right seats.

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00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,359
Speaker 5: And then once you do that, like the buss goes honey.

437
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 5: But until you like relinquish that power, it's always because

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00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,440
Speaker 5: that's my problem, and I'll be like, no, I could

439
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 5: do it, and then I'd be like, no, I can't.

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Speaker 3: Nervous break down, It'll be.

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Speaker 5: And I've never had some many partners in my life,

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Speaker 5: like literally, I've never because I always feel like, oh

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Speaker 5: I could do it, I could or no, one but

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Speaker 5: you can.

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Speaker 3: You can't do everything.

446
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 1: You can't do everything.

447
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,240
Speaker 5: I don't want to do it.

448
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 4: You can't do everything, but you can try. You can

449
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 4: probably do everything, but you it's a lot of that

450
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 4: shit is not going to be done well. And that's

451
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,680
Speaker 4: what I've I've realized. I realized that in our business.

452
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,120
Speaker 4: I realized that just learning from even my mom, she's

453
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,159
Speaker 4: an entrepreneur and like she's told me that, like she's like,

454
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,720
Speaker 4: you must outsource. I've realized that I cannot be great

455
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,879
Speaker 4: at everything and that I have to just empower the

456
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 4: other people to either find people that are already read

457
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,359
Speaker 4: at their jobs or empower people to like want to

458
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 4: be good at that. Yeah, And I think, like that's

459
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 4: it's a gift to be able to do that. It's

460
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 4: also it's hard delegating. Even you think like I'm gonna

461
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 4: be a boss ass bitch and then you're like, now

462
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 4: you're the boss bitch, and now what you're not good

463
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 4: at it?

464
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 1: Okay, like you're not good at it?

465
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 4: You didn't you didn't tell this person what they needed

466
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 4: to be need to be done today and you know

467
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 4: now nothing, nothing got done. So I think it also

468
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,359
Speaker 4: is a gift. And I think even in us in

469
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 4: our business, like learning how to be bosses, you know,

470
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,119
Speaker 4: and like realizing our strengths and weaknesses, and like we

471
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 4: have these conversations, you know, all the time, and even

472
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,919
Speaker 4: recently like with trying to like recalibrate our business, and

473
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 4: it's she is hard and I being a mom, yeah,

474
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 4: and y'all are moms, and like you have two kids.

475
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,399
Speaker 3: And y'all have partners and you have a baby, and

476
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:51,919
Speaker 3: how is your son? He's three?

477
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,120
Speaker 1: Three, three and three.

478
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 4: That's when they give you a run for your motherfucking money.

479
00:19:58,560 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 1: He gave you. Yeah, you thought you would.

480
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 3: Just it's like three.

481
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: You thought you girl, you thought you missed terrible twos?

482
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,119
Speaker 1: You know. Three, that's where they come and get you.

483
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 3: What I'm doing.

484
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,919
Speaker 5: You can't give him back at that point. They are

485
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 5: already here at three, they're here.

486
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 4: What do you think is like the most surprising thing

487
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,400
Speaker 4: that you've learned in motherhood so far?

488
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 5: I will say this, So I have a Yeah, I

489
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,640
Speaker 5: think I'm the only one that has a son here.

490
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 5: So it's like I've never like what I know about

491
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,800
Speaker 5: men is what I've experienced with men, right, So, like

492
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 5: to see the world through a little boy's eyes is

493
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,680
Speaker 5: so like crazy to me, Like you know what I mean?

494
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 3: Just like, first of all, I didn't know.

495
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 5: I don't have a penis, so I don't know what

496
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 5: like penises do outside of what I've seen, right, But

497
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 5: like he like at six months, he's like touching his

498
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 5: penis and he's like pushing it in.

499
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 3: He's like this is fun. And so I'm sitting here

500
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 3: like freaking out telling his so like, oh my gosh,

501
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 3: you got this penis? Like what am I supposed to do?

502
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,120
Speaker 3: Like do I like turn away?

503
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 5: I let him keep going and he's just like it's

504
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 5: not serious, it's exploration.

505
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 3: It feels good, like oh this is what is this

506
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:01,679
Speaker 3: little thing? Do you know?

507
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 5: And so like just seeing him explore and like just

508
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,919
Speaker 5: be a boy and how like I never realized what

509
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 5: role I have in that and like what kind of

510
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:11,880
Speaker 5: you know, like I know I'm his mom.

511
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 3: I teach him stuff that kind of thing.

512
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 5: But it's like now how he treats women as a

513
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,360
Speaker 5: direct reflection of what I've taught him. You know, I'll

514
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 5: tell him I'm like, okay, pick this up. This is nice,

515
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 5: you know, like this is you know, like even like

516
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 5: with my purse, I'm like, okay, give me my purse and.

517
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 3: Be going through a purse, and now I just give

518
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 3: him a purse, right.

519
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,159
Speaker 5: You know, bring it over here because I'll try to

520
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 5: take everything out, but like he just open doors. I've

521
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 5: taught him to be very responsible because I'm like, one

522
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 5: day he's gonna have to go somewhere meet a woman

523
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 5: and they're gonna get together, and I don't want her

524
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,880
Speaker 5: to look at me and be like you the reason

525
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 5: I have to do all this is because your son sucks.

526
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 5: You know how many rights to do this?

527
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 4: Oh?

528
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,439
Speaker 3: Girls, I hadn't met a lot.

529
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 2: Of I've wrote a lot of tax messages to somebody's

530
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 2: mother just to erase them, like, you know, it does

531
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,959
Speaker 2: not even have something that it does. But right, right

532
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 2: has everything to do with human I'm just I'm gonna.

533
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 3: Hold my tongue on that. Today. He cooks already, he cleans.

534
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,119
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm very wrong. What is he cooking? Got

535
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 3: a shout? I had him.

536
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 5: I had cut up these like peppers, and as he

537
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 5: was staying him, he was them, Okay, I got a

538
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 5: whole kitchen. I was like, you're you about to be

539
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 5: master chef. He has like a baby kitchen. I remember

540
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 5: when I got it.

541
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 3: I think to somebody in my family is like, kitchen

542
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 3: are for girls.

543
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 5: I was like, okay, if you think about all the

544
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 5: five star restaurants you've ever been to, all the head

545
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 5: chef they're men.

546
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 3: Where you think they get that from? You know what

547
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 3: I'm saying.

548
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 5: I was like, So, no, he got this kitchen and

549
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 5: he gonna let her to cook he's gonna be making up,

550
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 5: so yes, we vacuum mat me. He's very responsible, okay,

551
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 5: I mean he picked out his clothes in the morning.

552
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 3: He be like piece of his urinal and empties it

553
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 3: and clean not his urinal need to be the son.

554
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 3: I know, Thank you, man. I gotta make it.

555
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 1: Look. I have my daughter's six, but you know she

556
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 1: could be an older.

557
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 3: That's okay because I get older.

558
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 4: You know that maybe we'll set them up.

559
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 3: You got you did to relax?

560
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 1: Good?

561
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:53,479
Speaker 3: Plug him?

562
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 2: Man, Look I found somebody he knows how to cook up. Ready,

563
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 2: just start young, listen and I.

564
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 3: He Ki could cook time.

565
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: I found her husband.

566
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 3: Don't worry right out twenty five more years.

567
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 5: You're good.

568
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 3: It doesn't It is a responsibility to raise a boy.

569
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 2: And like, I'm so happy to know that there's moms

570
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 2: doing the work right, because once you get to adult

571
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 2: years and you see these boys dressed like men, driving cars,

572
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 2: having sacks, you realize you are a toddler and your

573
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 2: mom let you coddle you until fucking adulthood.

574
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 3: So that shit does matter. And I'm so grateful.

575
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,400
Speaker 2: And what is with like black people, just people in general,

576
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 2: and like these roles like boys can't have no kitchen.

577
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 3: Like do boys like to eat?

578
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: Right?

579
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 3: Is what is so feminine about kitchen? About cooking?

580
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 5: It's a kitchen grilling like a form of cooking. So

581
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 5: most men are like, Oh, I'm a black man and

582
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 5: I'm great, you'll cooking.

583
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 3: It's just cooking outsides.

584
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 2: It's outside, so it's less feminine.

585
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 3: I guess, but yeah, like what, I don't know.

586
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 5: I challenge those norms because and then the other thing

587
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 5: is like I always I get on anybody that says

588
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,199
Speaker 5: to him like that, says anything bad about him, like

589
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 5: his father's fend is like, oh he bad. I was like,

590
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 5: first of all, no, don't ever say that about my

591
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 5: son in earshot or anything you guys talk about show kids.

592
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 3: Okay, I met them, don't say that.

593
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 5: And secondly, like, you know, if he's crying or if

594
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 5: he's doing something like that, don't just tell him what

595
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 5: not to do, tell him what to do instead, because

596
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 5: it's like, you know, how many men have we met

597
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 5: that are just like emotionally stunted and don't know how

598
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 5: to work through emotions because nobody gave them the space

599
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 5: to express their emotions. If you're crying, something is wrong.

600
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 5: It doesn't matter if you're a boy or girl something's wrong.

601
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,719
Speaker 5: We let girls cry it out. Boys are like, stop crying. Well,

602
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 5: that's fine if you gonna tell him stop crying. But

603
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 5: what do they do instead?

604
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 3: So I always tell him, like when he's crying or whining,

605
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 3: I'm like, use your words, use your words.

606
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna tell you just because immediately he will

607
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 5: stop crying. He will use his words and it might

608
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 5: come out like Okay, But now you're verbal. Because when

609
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 5: you get older and you have emotions, I need you

610
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,959
Speaker 5: to know how to say them instead of just being

611
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 5: an angry being, like my.

612
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: Heart's broken, I'm gonna have sex.

613
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,360
Speaker 3: With fifty women and break their hearts. Yep.

614
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 5: No, I need you to work through your emotions people

615
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 5: to say that.

616
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 1: No, I agree.

617
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 5: I think it's a whole episode on that.

618
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 3: I know literally, I mean, I'm we'll see if it works. Okay,

619
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 3: I can be wrong, Okay.

620
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 2: Toddler Toxic Masculinity Preventing Toxic Masculinity Toddler Edition for real,

621
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 2: And that needs.

622
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 4: To be a book, low key, for real, because I

623
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 4: feel like that's something that gets overlooked, especially I think

624
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 4: in our community.

625
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 1: I think like in the Black community.

626
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 4: It's like I think there's an undoing now, but there's

627
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,439
Speaker 4: a lot of undoing that has to happen, especially like

628
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 4: I think about me, like I'm in a co parenting

629
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 4: situation if you're in if you're single, if you're a

630
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 4: single parent, like you get one type of you know,

631
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 4: experience in one household and you get another experience in

632
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 4: another household.

633
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 1: And like even for me, like I have no idea.

634
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 4: What's like what kind of parenting is happening on the

635
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 4: other side, because that's just not the state of our

636
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 4: relationship at this point. Hopefully that'll change in the future,

637
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 4: but that's just the state of what it is. And

638
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 4: so it's like you don't really know, Like so you

639
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 4: have to be like kind.

640
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: Of doing the unlearning things and like.

641
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 4: Hopefully you and I'm assuming you and your partner, you know,

642
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 4: are on the same page and discussing like this is how,

643
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 4: this is how I want to raise my son, Like

644
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 4: he will have a kitchen, you know, like and we

645
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 4: are not going to shame him for that, and it

646
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 4: picks up a barbie, like we're.

647
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:28,679
Speaker 1: Not gonna snatch it out of.

648
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 4: His hand, like because I mean, I see, I've seen

649
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 4: that literally that scenario that I thought, I saw what

650
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 4: movie that does he let you in? I saw it

651
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 4: in a movie, and then I saw it in real life,

652
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 4: and I was like, what the fun happened?

653
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 5: I'm like, this shit is really happening at I'm saying, like,

654
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 5: why can't men nurture children?

655
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 3: It's called fathers, like you know what I'm.

656
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 5: Saying, you know, And I think somebody had to teach

657
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 5: me that because I grew up. You know, my father

658
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 5: was a very like old school black man, like you know,

659
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 5: boys don't wear peek or play withdult you know. He's

660
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 5: like that kind of person, and so I grew up

661
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 5: with that mentality, and when I found out I was

662
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 5: having a son, it was very like, well, now I

663
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 5: have to challenge all these things that I was raised with,

664
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,679
Speaker 5: you know. So it's like, okay, now he'll watch you know,

665
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 5: he's on YouTube and he's watching like the Little Girl's

666
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 5: Diana and all these little girl and you know, they're

667
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 5: like having these scenarios or they're playing with their dolls,

668
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 5: and I'm like wait, you know, my initial instinct is

669
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 5: like and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no.

670
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 5: Let him see how the world works, you know what

671
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 5: I mean. There's nothing wrong with him understanding women.

672
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 3: You know.

673
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 5: I want him to understand women because that will help

674
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,479
Speaker 5: him out later in life, especially black women. Like honey,

675
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 5: you will have an umpire if you have a bunch

676
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 5: of black women working for you.

677
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: Learn how they work, Learn how they work. Right now,

678
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: That's the.

679
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 5: Thing that I feel like people don't tell you before

680
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 5: you have kids is like, no matter how much you

681
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 5: think you have it together before you have kids, whether

682
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 5: you're buried, single, whatever, the moment you see like your

683
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 5: child do something like maybe you used to do or

684
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 5: that you like got in trouble for you, instantly want

685
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 5: to react exactly how you were treated. Should or mind

686
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 5: your business, sir, get out my you know things I

687
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 5: mean reformed. I will play it in my mind, but

688
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 5: I know I can't say it, you know. And it's

689
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 5: like the struggle of like and even with troll my husband,

690
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 5: it's like, don't don't wait, you can't, you don't. You

691
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 5: can't say that, right, you can't say, well, why can't

692
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 5: I say it? My mom said what?

693
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: Right? They were challenging all of a suddenly that you're like,

694
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 3: oh snap, like.

695
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 5: Right, no one ever tells you that you have a

696
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 5: child that there's so many things you have to undo

697
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 5: and unlearned. I mean, you don't have to, but it

698
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 5: was like a big compliment my dad gave me, my

699
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 5: seventy year old Southern Black father. He was like, I'm

700
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 5: learning a lot about parenting through you. And I was like, serious,

701
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 5: think it's honest because you was really like hard on us,

702
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 5: and I really thought she was the most horrible father.

703
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 5: He wasn't, but it was he's very strict on us,

704
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 5: and like, you know, I had to teach him. I

705
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 5: guess my son had told him no, and he like,

706
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 5: I don't know if you popped him or something. And

707
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 5: I was like, first of all, don't put your hands

708
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 5: on the son, okay, Like if there's anything that needs

709
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 5: to be disciplinary, like whatever, he just makes you tell

710
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 5: me or his father will handle it.

711
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 3: But don't you put your hands on him. And that's

712
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 3: different for him because he was like our grandparents beat us.

713
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 5: Like what you're talking about. I can't pop him if

714
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 5: he says something wrong to me. And I was like, well,

715
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 5: what did he say wrong to you? I told him

716
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 5: he couldn't, you know, touch that outlet and he said no,

717
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 5: and I was like First of all, I agree with you,

718
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 5: he shouldn't. You know, he doesn't need to be in

719
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 5: situations where he is going.

720
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 3: To hurt himself.

721
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 5: However, I have actually taught him plugged safety, okay, for

722
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 5: this very reason.

723
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 4: Look, my little baby knows how to cook some he

724
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 4: is plugging.

725
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 3: In my phone. I was like, you know, you're gonna

726
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 3: be around these plugs.

727
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 5: I can't put all the and he learned how to

728
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 5: take the stuff out the plugs so early. So I

729
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 5: was like, you just got to learn how plugs work, okay,

730
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 5: what goes in them and what does not. And so

731
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 5: you know, my dad of course didn't know that. So

732
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 5: he was just like, well, I didn't want him to

733
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 5: hurt himself.

734
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 1: And I was like, I.

735
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 5: Appreciate that, but don't pop him because because he told

736
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 5: you no, you know what I mean.

737
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 3: And so he's crying. He came in. You know, mav.

738
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 3: My son's name is Maverick. So math came and told

739
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 3: me like b B heve me. And I was like, oh,

740
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 3: like I'm getting ready to fight my dad. I'm like,

741
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 3: I gotta fight my father. He's dig or I'll be telling.

742
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 5: To tell me everything. And then you know, I told

743
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 5: my dad. I was like, if you know, first of all,

744
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 5: don't hit him. You need to explain to him and

745
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 5: talk to him. And then he's crying, you're telling him

746
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 5: to stop crying. Well, why didn't you tell him what

747
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 5: else he could do instead? If his feelings were hurt?

748
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 5: What else should he do? And he was like, well,

749
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 5: I never thought about it like that. And I remember

750
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 5: just telling my dad and like I wasn't even going

751
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 5: off on him. I was just like explaining to him,

752
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 5: like let's think through this. And nobody has ever done

753
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 5: that to him when it came to parenting. But old

754
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 5: school parenting, you just they just react. You just react, Okay,

755
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 5: you just react. And I know my little creamon was

756
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 5: just sitting there like, hmm, you're masculine, black dad, gotta

757
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 5: listen to you, just smiling, but like, but that made

758
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 5: me so happy that he was like, you know, I

759
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 5: really learned a lot from you about parenting.

760
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't even know why I learned this.

761
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 5: I'm just sitting here like what kind of person do

762
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 5: I want him to be? I guess that's like what

763
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:53,719
Speaker 5: makes me think about it.

764
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,440
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765
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:04,120
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766
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,960
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767
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768
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769
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,840
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770
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771
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772
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773
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774
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775
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776
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777
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778
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779
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780
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781
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784
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 2: Shout out to your dad because I think like a

785
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 2: lot of times when you approach parents, the first thing

786
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 2: they hear is like you, you did it? Fucked up,

787
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like, oh, what are you? Like,

788
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 2: you're alive, You're good.

789
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 3: No, I'm fucked up.

790
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 2: I'm in therapy, you know. But like I think, like

791
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 2: it's your first like as a parent period, your parenting

792
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 2: is you're defensive about it.

793
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 3: No I can tell you about your kid. No one

794
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 3: tells you shit.

795
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: About your parenting because they as long as they stayed alive,

796
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 2: you've done it. You know, Like it's already a struggle

797
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: having a kid. But I had an issue with my

798
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 2: dad like not too long ago, and a cousin and

799
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 2: they're like, shut a team up on me because I

800
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: corrected them about something they said to my daughter, like

801
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 2: her being grown, she's wearing my shoes or something. And

802
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 2: I was like, don't do that. And it was this

803
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 2: whole thing and everybody blew up. And I was like,

804
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 2: do you realize me asking you not to call my

805
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 2: six year old a little HOUCHI is making a big

806
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 2: is a huge deal. I'm like, nobody sees anything wrong

807
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 2: with that? Yeah, I'm like, do you realize how fuck

808
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 2: you sound? And I got so fucking mad, like like

809
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 2: I was being calm, and I was like, you know,

810
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 2: you're mad you want to punch somebody, but you want

811
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 2: to cry instead because you can't punch. And eventually my

812
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 2: cousin apologized, but I was just like, damn, I'm trying

813
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 2: to undo some fucked up ass like which is to

814
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 2: me clearly, I'm plainly obvious. Don't talk shit to a

815
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 2: fucking child. And you were actively fighting me about it,

816
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 2: like and I'm telling you, I'm like, I'm not doing

817
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 2: things how you did it.

818
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 3: I literally was saying this. I'm like, things have to change.

819
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's not productive for her to say negative

820
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: things about her, like she's a child. But it just

821
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 2: made me feel at that point, I was like, I

822
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 2: don't have to.

823
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 3: Cut everybody off. You're getting cut the fuck off. You're

824
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 3: getting cut the fuck off. I'm like, this is my house.

825
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 3: You can really get out.

826
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 5: I think when you're trying to be a conscious parent,

827
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 5: you automatically see where people stopped growing, and it kind

828
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 5: of hurts because it could be your mother, it could

829
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 5: be your father, it could be your cousin. And you're like, damn,

830
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 5: I knew that when I was like you nice, right,

831
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 5: but you see where people mentally does that kind of

832
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 5: stop learning or stop trying to evolve right exactly, and

833
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 5: it could be.

834
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 4: It's so interesting that we put it that way, we

835
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 4: put it, you say it that way.

836
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,479
Speaker 1: Put it puts a lot in perspective, and.

837
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 4: It's like those it's just these uncomfortable conversations that you

838
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 4: have to have with your parents. And luckily yours is

839
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 4: open and it's still obviously open to growing and open

840
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,240
Speaker 4: to a different perspective.

841
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 1: But then there's those.

842
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 4: Parents that are like, eh, right, you know, and they

843
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 4: will always look at you as the child, even when

844
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 4: you have children. And I think that that is universal

845
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 4: in ways, right, like your parents. I know my daughter,

846
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 4: I think of her as an adult sometimes and I'm like,

847
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 4: you always want to be my baby, and you always

848
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 4: want to hear this mouth. Okay, But I think thankfully,

849
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 4: I think all of us here are open hope to,

850
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 4: like you know, taking criticism and listening to our kids

851
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,399
Speaker 4: and hopefully letting them parent how they want a parent,

852
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 4: because there is so much that has to be undone.

853
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 4: I think about like my when my dad. My dad

854
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 4: grew up in the South and you know, my mom

855
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 4: grew up in Newport Beach, Like they've had totally two

856
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 4: different experiences, and so I've had two different experiences with them,

857
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 4: and there's been a lot of undoing, even for my

858
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 4: mom not being a black woman and having to me

859
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 4: being a black child and exerting myself as a black

860
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 4: child and a black woman, and her not understanding certain

861
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 4: things and.

862
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: Her being like, oh, you're being dramatic.

863
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I'm not actually, and her having to

864
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 4: be like, oh shit, okay, I hear you and I'm here,

865
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 4: I'm gonna listen, and like those are and it's been uncomfortable.

866
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 4: You know, there's definitely I mean, we're all kind of

867
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 4: in the beginning early motherhood, in early stages that there's

868
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 4: gonna be times where we're gonna have to like flex

869
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 4: that muscle on family members and you know, they're either

870
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 4: gonna listen or they're gonna, you know, get the get the.

871
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 1: Fuck cut off right right, you know, or hopefully you know,

872
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: hopefully not, but I don't know. That's like the beauty

873
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 1: of parenthood is that you get to kind of do

874
00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:58,840
Speaker 1: it your way.

875
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 2: And the beauty about parenting right now, just like the

876
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 2: time we're in right now, I think we're collectively in

877
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 2: a place where like we're healing and we're more conscious

878
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 2: of our traumas and like the things that didn't serve

879
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 2: us in our childhoods and like, oh, maybe you're talking

880
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 2: shit to me when I was eight, Maybe my the

881
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 2: negative self talk I hear now, you know, like and

882
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 2: then being able to equate that to that and like

883
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 2: reprogram ourselves. But I don't think our parents had really

884
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,240
Speaker 2: like the self awareness or maybe the Internet.

885
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 3: The Internet gave.

886
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 2: Us self awareness, you know, to like say, okay, well

887
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 2: this could change that wasn't great, Like I can do

888
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 2: this differently and it could maybe change the like the

889
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 2: outcome of who you are and how you interact in

890
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 2: the relationships that you have.

891
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 3: So I just I'm like, I'm.

892
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 5: Grateful for the Internet because I also think seeing your

893
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 5: kids as like they are humans. Like I look at

894
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 5: these little girls. They're grown almost not grown in a

895
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 5: negative way, but they remember everything. They pee everything back

896
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 5: to me. Sometimes I am actually wrong, but Mom, no

897
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 5: you said this. I'm like, oh, yes, I did. But

898
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 5: when I think about the amount of information they retained,

899
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 5: and I'm like, Damn, when I was a little kid,

900
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 5: I was doing that too, right, And so I was

901
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 5: remembering all the things I saw or all the negative

902
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 5: things I heard or if you said something to me

903
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 5: what that made me feel like, because Halo will tell me, mommy,

904
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 5: you really hurt my feelings. You are making me upset.

905
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 5: And we don't tell her to shut up.

906
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 3: Or anything like that or like how our parents sit. Right,

907
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 3: I feel fine, I'll give me something to cry out.

908
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:36,280
Speaker 5: But when I listened to her expressed herself, I'm like, wow,

909
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 5: I wish I could have done that, right, you know

910
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 5: what I mean? Like wow, that is amazing.

911
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 2: Especially as little girls, you know, like to take up

912
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 2: space to say how you feel. Because like I realized recently,

913
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: like something happened to me a couple times and I

914
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 2: didn't say anything, and I'm a pretty mouthy bitch, but

915
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 2: I felt myself like kind of like shut down, and

916
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: I was like why did I do that?

917
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 3: Why do I do that?

918
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 2: And it's like sometimes it's almost like I don't even

919
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 2: notice until after the fact, like subconsciously, I'm.

920
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,919
Speaker 3: Just like I just I just like log off.

921
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 2: But it's probably because there was a point where I

922
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 2: wasn't able to express myself and like say how I felt,

923
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 2: and I felt like I could not, and so I

924
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 2: did it. And so I think as women, especially like

925
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,760
Speaker 2: and boys, you know, like like just having the power

926
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 2: to express yourself and to say this is how I

927
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 2: feel or that what that didn't make me feel good

928
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 2: is so powerful because how often as women do we

929
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: not telling nigga like shut the fuck up, who are

930
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 2: you talking to?

931
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 5: You need that in your relationship. I would do that

932
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 5: a lot in my marriage, or he would, and he

933
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 5: doesn't know what I went through as a kid in

934
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 5: some areas, right, like the triggers. Like, so if he's irritated,

935
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 5: I'll correlate that to like, oh, my mother being irritated,

936
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 5: and I knew if she was irritated, we couldn't say

937
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 5: anything right or else they would be bad. And so

938
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 5: sometimes if he's irritated, I'll shut down and I'll be like,

939
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,439
Speaker 5: oh my god, oh my god. But he's not even

940
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 5: like I could say whatever I want right backslip, like

941
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 5: he's not going to do that right, but my mom would,

942
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 5: and so it will mess up my mind and I'm like, oh,

943
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 5: I can't say anything. And then when I have a

944
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 5: full breakdown, he's like, well, why don't you just tell

945
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 5: me that.

946
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, I could tell you that you were irritated,

947
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 2: so we can't both be irritated, right.

948
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 5: But in my mind, I'm thinking if he's irritated, that

949
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:22,399
Speaker 5: means he's going to do something or to me, or

950
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 5: because my mom did, or you know what I mean.

951
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:29,760
Speaker 5: So it's just all this miscommunication that's unnecessary.

952
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 2: It's really unnecessary, or just feeling like your feelings don't matter?

953
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 3: Right? Does it matter?

954
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:35,399
Speaker 2: Right?

955
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 3: I'm working through in therapy like China, because I realized,

956
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 3: like growing up, it was always like shut up now,

957
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 3: like you know, And I was like, why do I

958
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 3: have this like need to always explain, Like I over

959
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 3: explained stuff. Somebody asked me like, oh where is this?

960
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 5: Oh so if you do this, like I didn't ask you.

961
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 1: All, where is it?

962
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 3: Like my fan tells me that all the time. He's like,

963
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 3: do you realize you'd like answered fifteen other questions I

964
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 3: never asked, like why do I do that?

965
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 5: And I realized it's because I always I never felt

966
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 5: like I was allowed to speak. So when I get

967
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 5: the moment too, I'd be like, okay, well let me

968
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 5: tell you everything is at any moment, you're gonna cut

969
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 5: me off and I'm not gonna get to say it.

970
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 5: And so like like in therapy, like my therapist is

971
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 5: just like, okay, let's talk like.

972
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: Think about it. Megan, like what what caused you to

973
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 3: be like that? And I was like Deacon Thomas.

974
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 5: Sore keeping me from like expressing myself. But now that

975
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 5: I know that, it's like, Okay, if he asked you

976
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 5: where this is just answer, one sentence.

977
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 3: You ain't got to.

978
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 4: Say so for you to ask your lesson, I think

979
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,760
Speaker 4: I'm sure my therapy lesson was touching my body.

980
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: Yours is just shut up, shut up, one word answer answer.

981
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 3: I'm like a hostin.

982
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: Oh my God. Are you have you guys either one

983
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 1: of you been in therapy with your partners?

984
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:56,399
Speaker 3: Yes?

985
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 5: I did premarried account yes, yes, because we was not

986
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 5: gonna make it through that pandemic, okay, like I had,

987
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 5: I was looking for apartments.

988
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 3: I was like I gotta get out of here.

989
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 5: And like, you know, just no, not married yet, but

990
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 5: we've been engaged for like what three years, for a

991
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 5: long time basically, and so it was just like you know,

992
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 5: and I have a lot of still undoing of what

993
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 5: I thought like a relationship should be. Like I didn't

994
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 5: realize I had like the Disney fantasy, like you know,

995
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 5: people don't because I grew up. My parents have this

996
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 5: scene where we don't fight in front of the kids.

997
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 5: So in my head, if things are wrong with us,

998
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 5: so we have a disagreement, it's over.

999
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 3: We ain't gonna make it because you never saw it,

1000
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 3: because I never saw it.

1001
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, like you should show your children like we have

1002
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 5: a disagreement and this is how we get through it.

1003
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 3: I never saw that.

1004
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 5: So, like I said, I'm over here, like, oh, we

1005
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 5: disagreement about everything, it's over.

1006
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 3: First I got to get an apartment.

1007
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 5: I'm out of here and like and my my therapist

1008
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 5: was like, no, like it's not over because I'm gonna

1009
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 5: tell you right now all the people that I see

1010
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 5: here your problems ain't even that bad. I was like, really,

1011
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 5: I don't have to go look for apartment and she's like, no,

1012
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 5: you should trust me really back, but it was just like,

1013
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 5: you know, you have to undo these things that you

1014
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:07,719
Speaker 5: think about when it comes to relationships and what it

1015
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,280
Speaker 5: really means. And like so I'm like, oh, so fighting

1016
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 5: is okay, Like disagreeing about stuff is okay.

1017
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 3: All right, got it?

1018
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 5: And so like us being in therapy together, he like

1019
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 5: there's things that he didn't know. He was like, why

1020
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 5: didn't you just say that stuff to me. There's a

1021
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 5: lot of stuff you should have just said. And I

1022
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 5: just was like, well, I thought that I shouldn't complain

1023
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 5: about it.

1024
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 3: And then in my head I have this whole narrative

1025
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 3: of stuff like, oh.

1026
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 5: He's probably thinking this and that's probably why he did it,

1027
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 5: and like.

1028
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 3: You've made have a whole story that don't even exist.

1029
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 3: They're just hungry, that's why I said that. I was like, oh, okay, okay, Well,

1030
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 3: like I said something, I was.

1031
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 5: Like, Okay, really are two different people when you get

1032
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 5: with somebody? Yeah, two completely different people.

1033
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 4: I was I've been chatting with this gentleman and he

1034
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,320
Speaker 4: was telling me that in his previous he was engaged

1035
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 4: at one point and that he went to therapy before

1036
00:42:59,000 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 4: marriage because I know some people.

1037
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 1: I was like, he was like, it was.

1038
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 3: Either go you see the pastor or go to the therapist.

1039
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 4: And it just didn't feel I didn't feel aligned in that.

1040
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 4: I felt like therapy would be better and it was

1041
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 4: the best thing we ever did. Because of therapy, I

1042
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 4: realized that we shouldn't be married. And it was actually

1043
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,320
Speaker 4: they went in with the with the with the hope,

1044
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 4: like not the hope, but like it was it wasn't.

1045
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: For that purpose. Yeah, you know, it was not for

1046
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 1: that purpose.

1047
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 4: Like they were planning on marrying and then they did

1048
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 4: it and they were like he was like, yeah, no,

1049
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 4: this isn't it.

1050
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: And I'm just like that could be.

1051
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 4: So scary too though, like going into like therapy with

1052
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 4: someone and then like I feel like that's what you

1053
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:33,399
Speaker 4: have to kind of be open to when you when

1054
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 4: you really go into therapy, is that you're really going

1055
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 4: to like solve some shit and you might not like

1056
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 4: the answer. And that's why I think some people avoid

1057
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:42,280
Speaker 4: therapy too, Yeah, because.

1058
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 3: They don't want to. They know the truth, but they

1059
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 3: don't want to see the truth.

1060
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1061
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 3: I'm just like, let's just avoid avoid avoid. Yeah, it's real.

1062
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:48,719
Speaker 5: Hated it.

1063
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 3: We did it, got married, But what.

1064
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 1: I You did it after you were married?

1065
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, Well we talked to the pastor before we

1066
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 5: got married because it was like the thing to do

1067
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 5: in life. I mean, now if I would go back,

1068
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 5: I probably wouldn't have done that, but it was whatever.

1069
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 5: But after we got married, we went and he wasn't it.

1070
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 3: He wasn't it.

1071
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 5: He would be doing his homework right before, you know,

1072
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 5: the lesson and it just seemed like I was pulling teeth,

1073
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 5: and so finally I was like, you know, if you

1074
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 5: don't want to go like you, you don't have to go,

1075
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 5: Like I'm not going to force a grown person to

1076
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 5: do anything in this lifetime ever. And I realized once

1077
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 5: I kind of let go of the control of trying

1078
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 5: to do what I thought was like right, like we

1079
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 5: should be in therapy, he like changed on his own,

1080
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 5: not everything, but just like some of the things that

1081
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 5: we would talk about, like he just needs to do

1082
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 5: it in his own time, and I just had to

1083
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,879
Speaker 5: worry more about myself, right right, Like I just started

1084
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 5: worrying more about myself, taking care of myself, controlling my

1085
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 5: own emotions and not letting certain things affect me. And

1086
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,240
Speaker 5: then it felt like he was just get on board almost.

1087
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 5: It was just like, yeah, dang, oh, I guess she's

1088
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 5: over there and doing okay, Well, let me come over

1089
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 5: here and try. Like I don't know who. I was

1090
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 5: talking about the Love Language book. We're supposed to read

1091
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 5: that book three years ago. Just last night he was like, oh, yeah,

1092
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 5: let's read like three chapters like bye, maybe in two weeks.

1093
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, that's cool. I love this organized relationship.

1094
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 5: I think once I just let go of trying to

1095
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 5: control him to what I thought we should be doing,

1096
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 5: then everything kind of settled out a little bit. I

1097
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 5: still go with my own therapy, but you know he

1098
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 5: wants to go, he can go.

1099
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 2: I think sometimes the control of the relationship or of

1100
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 2: the other person is an avoidance of what you need

1101
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 2: to be doing for yourself.

1102
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh oh a thousand.

1103
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 2: But but sometimes also like if that like obviously you

1104
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 2: guys are meant to be together, but like, also I've

1105
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 2: been in a relationship where I'm like, I can't live

1106
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 2: with you, and also take function doesn't it's not gonna happen.

1107
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 3: This side of you pisses me off.

1108
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,759
Speaker 2: Like it's not you not doing anything I ask, It's

1109
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,959
Speaker 2: not me avoiding, it's me a screaming voice saying run, bitch, run.

1110
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,399
Speaker 3: Right, you have to like.

1111
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 5: The person, right, like you actually have to like this person.

1112
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 5: You don't have to like everything about them, but you

1113
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 5: just need to like them as a person, respect them

1114
00:45:57,719 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 5: as a person. Because that's where I feel like the

1115
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 5: friendship comes in, where it's like, Okay, we're not going

1116
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 5: to be like intimate every day, and it's not going

1117
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 5: to be romantic every day. It's not going to be

1118
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 5: this every single direct. But I can still talk to

1119
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 5: you about like the song that came out like we

1120
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 5: did when we were friends, right like you know, like

1121
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 5: let's go get something to eat. Let's like we're like

1122
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:18,240
Speaker 5: homies almost.

1123
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's just I think when it comes

1124
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 2: like I think that's the biggest obstacle, right Like, so

1125
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,919
Speaker 2: we're single, we were in relationships, you know, we broke

1126
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 2: up with those people, and you guys, you're engaged, you're married,

1127
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 2: and I think like people because I struggled. I was

1128
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 2: my baby daddy was like my high school sweetheart. I

1129
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 2: foun him for like fucking fifteen years. But it's like

1130
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 2: when what is like a break, like a no you

1131
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:45,720
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like sometimes you go to therape

1132
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 2: and you're like, Okay, he's going to figure it out,

1133
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 2: he's going to get on board, Okay, I love him,

1134
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,359
Speaker 2: I fuck with him. He's doing all these things and

1135
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 2: like the rest of it will come right. Or it's

1136
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,919
Speaker 2: like when do you be like I'm no, like love

1137
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 2: you and we're friends.

1138
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, you know, you know we question it

1139
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 3: so much because because you have questioned like, oh, this

1140
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 3: is how we're best.

1141
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 5: You know, we've known each other in fifteen years, we

1142
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 5: have a child together, So I mean, obviously I'd rather

1143
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 5: workout than not, So let me lean towards that way

1144
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 5: as opposed to like, okay, neutral party here, let me

1145
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 5: just look and see the pros of the cop you know,

1146
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 5: we want we want those things, and so sometimes it

1147
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 5: clouds our judgment. But I think at the end of

1148
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 5: the day, you always know, because you know, like even

1149
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 5: me and my fiance we have it has not be easy. Okay,

1150
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 5: Like even how we got together, we were long distance

1151
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 5: for the first two years, and seven months in I

1152
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 5: got pregnant. So now I'm like pregnant with this dude

1153
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:38,919
Speaker 5: that I barely know who lives on the other side

1154
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 5: of the US. We're trying to forge this relationship, and

1155
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 5: now I get pregnant, and so it's like, now I

1156
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,919
Speaker 5: got to learn how to be a mom after I've

1157
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 5: been the single, like care free, career woman for all

1158
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 5: these years. So now I'm like learning to be a mom,

1159
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:52,879
Speaker 5: learning to be in a relationship with a man who

1160
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 5: don't really know because he lives in another country.

1161
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 3: So like there was a lot of rocky parts for us.

1162
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 5: But then it was like, Okay, you know, there's there's

1163
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 5: been a lot of tough times, but do I like,

1164
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 5: what's the choice here? Like do I want to choose

1165
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 5: and work through this stuff with him? What are my

1166
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 5: absolute boundaries? And that's what I guess I had to

1167
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 5: learn in therapy, like what are what's the what's the line?

1168
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 5: What are your what are your top three non negotiables?

1169
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 3: Lord? What are they? Now? Well, mine is cheating. One

1170
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 3: of them is cheating.

1171
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,440
Speaker 5: And the reason I say that is because I work

1172
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 5: in a situation where I can.

1173
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 3: I work with a lot of men like that.

1174
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 4: I just need people to know that that's fine girl, Yeah.

1175
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 3: This is god.

1176
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 4: Mom's a bad choices mom. People be mombs and shit,

1177
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 4: she's she's taking care of I don't know how loud

1178
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't.

1179
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:42,800
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think that might thic it's fine.

1180
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 5: But like one of mine is cheating only because like

1181
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 5: I have the ability to cheat all the time. There's

1182
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 5: men all around me. I work with men, and I

1183
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 5: choose not to take that road. So because of how

1184
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 5: I feel about it, my personal one is like like

1185
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 5: come talk to me first, let's talk about it. You

1186
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying, like, let's talk ab if you

1187
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 5: feel like something is not being met, if you feel

1188
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 5: like you know you feel, let's talk about it.

1189
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 3: So the cheating is one of mine.

1190
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 5: I would also say like physical like hitting, don't ever

1191
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 5: put your hands, don't ever ever put your hands on me.

1192
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 3: That's immediate, We're done. What's my third one? Do I

1193
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:18,839
Speaker 3: have a third one? I gotta think about that one?

1194
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:20,399
Speaker 3: Which words I.

1195
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 5: Feel like, like if you just don't want to if

1196
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 5: you just don't like me, I've asked him before, like

1197
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 5: do you still like me? Like? Because sometimes I will

1198
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:32,920
Speaker 5: feel like that because I'm very I just can feel people.

1199
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 5: I can feel if you don't want to be there.

1200
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 5: I would never want to force someone to stay where

1201
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 5: they don't want to be. And I know deep down

1202
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 5: like I will always be okay, like and I think

1203
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 5: the moment he tells me this is not what he wants, like,

1204
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 5: I would be like okay because I would never force

1205
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 5: someone to want to be with me because I've always

1206
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,239
Speaker 5: been okay about myself, right, you know what I mean?

1207
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 5: The physical? Yeah, my Daddy's never even spanked me in

1208
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 5: my life. So don't ever think you put your hands

1209
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:03,840
Speaker 5: on me. But for me though, really it's like if

1210
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 5: you don't want to spend time with me, if you

1211
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 5: don't want to like be with me, then I've asked

1212
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 5: this before.

1213
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 2: Have you had something in your childhood or like something

1214
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 2: happened to you where you felt like somebody was like

1215
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 2: staying and they didn't want to stay?

1216
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 5: Well, I yes, I feel like my mother kind of

1217
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 5: would always trap my dad to be there almost or

1218
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 5: make him feel guilty or like they didn't like each other.

1219
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 5: They didn't like each other. That's what it came down to.

1220
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 5: And I always tell them that if you just accepted that,

1221
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,720
Speaker 5: y'all just did not like each other, like you guys

1222
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 5: did not You guys were young, you didn't know yourselves,

1223
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 5: like you didn't like each other. Just go to the

1224
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 5: streets like whatever, you know, Like they were young, they

1225
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 5: were in the clubs, they were doing this, they were

1226
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 5: doing that, Like what is that? Like's not a relationship.

1227
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 5: And so for me, yeah, it's always I'm always like,

1228
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 5: do you want to be here? Do you want to

1229
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 5: be married? Because if you if you don't, that is okay, right,

1230
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:58,720
Speaker 5: And I swear to you that is the conversation because

1231
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:02,000
Speaker 5: there's too much life like and I've watched my mom

1232
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 5: live a life that like she wasted. Not I don't

1233
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 5: say she wasted, but she was trying to get this

1234
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 5: man to do something that he was not going to.

1235
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 3: Are they still together? No?

1236
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 5: Absolutely not.

1237
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,799
Speaker 3: What made her? What was her like cut off?

1238
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 5: Like what she I mean, he had kids, he had

1239
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 5: another I have another sister that I have two sisters

1240
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 5: that are the same age.

1241
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 1: He was trying to show her, right, I'm just trying

1242
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 1: to tell it.

1243
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 5: It was like he wasn't going to be this person

1244
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 5: you wanted him to be. And so that's the thing.

1245
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:33,880
Speaker 5: It's like, if this is what I need in my

1246
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 5: life and you can't be that for me, then fine,

1247
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 5: like you should just go. You should just go.

1248
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 3: No, I agree.

1249
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:45,280
Speaker 2: I had a similar like parental relationship situation, and I'm

1250
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,719
Speaker 2: the queen of I don't get jealous and I don't care.

1251
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 5: No, I mean, if that's what you want to do,

1252
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,959
Speaker 5: that's what you're going to do, because I'm not about

1253
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:52,719
Speaker 5: to be out here big.

1254
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I saw a lot of that and I

1255
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 2: was like, oh, that's not a good luck beating up women.

1256
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was out in the I mean.

1257
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 2: What's same phone calls, cursing bitches out.

1258
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 3: I was like, this looks like a lot of effort

1259
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 3: osays you.

1260
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 5: Live that life effort at the moment you wake up

1261
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,280
Speaker 5: and like I don't want her no more, you should

1262
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 5: just tell me, please let me know, Like that's really

1263
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 5: my because like and I feel like you show that

1264
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 5: in your actions, like right, you show that you don't

1265
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 5: want to hang out with me or you don't want to.

1266
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 3: That's why cheating is one of my non negotiabs because

1267
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:26,280
Speaker 3: I'm like, before it got there, right, you felt something,

1268
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 3: you felt something, something.

1269
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:29,720
Speaker 5: Was a need, wasn't meant, you were bored, you needed

1270
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 5: more sex, you wanted somebody to talk, like there was

1271
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 5: something that wasn't met, right, So if you felt like that,

1272
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 5: let's have that conversation. Yeah, yeah, you know, because I'm

1273
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 5: not one I never wanted like that's I've never had

1274
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 5: against anybody's head to be like.

1275
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 1: I'll be with me.

1276
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1277
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 3: Women do that, Yeah, they do that.

1278
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,960
Speaker 5: They like I've done that in the past, like with

1279
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 5: people that ain't even my boyfriend. So it's like, I'm

1280
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 5: not going to be in a marriage and you don't

1281
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 5: want me.

1282
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 1: To suffocating, Like what's soecifocating?

1283
00:52:59,040 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 3: Let me go find me a little.

1284
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 4: I think also like non negotiables change because I know

1285
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 4: like mine have changed. I think when I was like

1286
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,879
Speaker 4: in my early twenties, I think cheating probably was one

1287
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 4: of them.

1288
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:09,360
Speaker 1: And now I have a.

1289
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 4: Different perspective because I just I don't believe in I

1290
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 4: believe that hopefully I'm cultivating relationship with someone for me,

1291
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 4: that we are just honest about what our needs are.

1292
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 4: And I don't necessarily feel like I can.

1293
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 1: I know that I can't.

1294
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 4: Fulfill one person's needs all the time, whether or not

1295
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 4: you decide that I can, great, But I need a

1296
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 4: relationship where we can have the space open where if

1297
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 4: you need a need met that we can't that I

1298
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 4: can't do for you, we.

1299
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 1: Can discuss that. And it doesn't mean it's the end

1300
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:36,280
Speaker 1: of my relationship.

1301
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 4: I'm not going to throw all this goodness away because

1302
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 4: you needed some pussy like I just I wouldn't.

1303
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 1: That's just not mine.

1304
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 4: But like now my non negotiable will probably be definitely

1305
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 4: is always physical. Like hell, no no one ever I

1306
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,080
Speaker 4: told him. I told another man too, Like if you

1307
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 4: ever call me like out of my name, I don't

1308
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 4: it's done. It's really done for me, like, because that

1309
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:58,880
Speaker 4: just is a level of disrespect that I feel like,

1310
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 4: once it's done, once you go there and then you

1311
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 4: go back, every single time you it's a guarantee that's

1312
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 4: just going to happen again.

1313
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1314
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:10,759
Speaker 4: Literally, given that permission, that person permission to disrespect you

1315
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 4: in that way, absolutely very rarely does it ever not happen.

1316
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:15,759
Speaker 4: I mean I'm saying, I mean there might be just

1317
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 4: be like, well, why I get they call me a

1318
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 4: bitch one time and that was ninety two.

1319
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 2: I mean, just like there's people who a man put

1320
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,440
Speaker 2: their hands on them one time and never did it again.

1321
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 2: Like there's there's rare, rare, rare instances that rarely ever happen.

1322
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 2: Don't hold onto so like it's not it's probably not

1323
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 2: gonna happen, but it does exist.

1324
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 3: I think.

1325
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:41,760
Speaker 1: Also someone who's like just very limited in their in their.

1326
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 5: Goals, yes, and like oh yeah.

1327
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:45,399
Speaker 1: That I could do.

1328
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 4: I've done it in small doses from short periods of

1329
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 4: time where I'm like, okay, well, like maybe he's not

1330
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 4: as goal oriented as me, but he provides all these

1331
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,359
Speaker 4: other things for me. I will cheat on you.

1332
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 3: I will cheat on you because.

1333
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 5: Then I'm going to be intimidated by he's going to

1334
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:00,799
Speaker 5: be thrown by your success.

1335
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:02,240
Speaker 1: And that really that's always what happens.

1336
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:04,800
Speaker 4: There's there's a few cases where men are totally comfortable

1337
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:08,240
Speaker 4: with their women totally you know, surpassing them in success.

1338
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 4: And I don't necessarily need to my man to be

1339
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 4: more successful than me. Like I like us, you know,

1340
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 4: to challenge each other. But I do know that when

1341
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:19,880
Speaker 4: I call a nigga and he is still doing the

1342
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 4: same shit he was doing this morning, every goddamn day

1343
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 4: and I've done set forty thousand emails, booked a retreat,

1344
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:29,840
Speaker 4: start off cannabis, I'm.

1345
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:33,359
Speaker 5: Like, bitch, Like, what right, No, that's every right? Am

1346
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:34,360
Speaker 5: I ever dated?

1347
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,440
Speaker 1: I am a right? It is ry here.

1348
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 3: I'm bored. And I was talking to some girls about this,

1349
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 3: like me and a few homegirls, and they were just

1350
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 3: all like and they're all saying they were like and

1351
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,320
Speaker 3: they're all doing well financially, like in their own careers,

1352
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 3: and they were like, I will not data man who

1353
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 3: doesn't have money.

1354
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 5: I will not data man who doesn't have money. And

1355
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:50,759
Speaker 5: I was like, well, wait a minute, because it's a

1356
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 5: little bit more than money.

1357
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 3: You have a lot of money, may not do shit right,

1358
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:55,320
Speaker 3: And I was like, for me, it's ambition.

1359
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 1: Ambition.

1360
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:58,799
Speaker 5: The ambition must be there because no matter if you

1361
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 5: have a broke phase, it's not gonna last long because

1362
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 5: you're ambitious enough to get through it and get to

1363
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 5: the next thing.

1364
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 3: So I was like, nah, I don't I don't need

1365
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 3: the money.

1366
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 5: I need the ambition because with that comes to security

1367
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,240
Speaker 5: and there comes a lot of other things.

1368
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 3: But yeah, I was like, let's let's not say that anymore.

1369
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, that is true because you can't have it.

1370
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 1: You can you can.

1371
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 4: You can have your sugar daddy that's retired, that isn't

1372
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 4: doing shit. But did all the did all the things.

1373
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:23,879
Speaker 4: I mean for me, Like that's nice too, Like before

1374
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 4: it's like I'm almost single blom I want to be

1375
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 4: taking care of Yeah. Yeah, after a while, I'm probably

1376
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 4: bored too. I'll be like, what are you doing? Like

1377
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 4: like you know, I I ambition.

1378
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:33,839
Speaker 3: Is really well.

1379
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,960
Speaker 2: Usually sugar daddy's have a lot of energy to do

1380
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 2: extra shit on the side.

1381
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. You are the sugar daddy expert.

1382
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 3: So I wish I was a fucking sugar daddy expert.

1383
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 3: I'm not.

1384
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:46,800
Speaker 2: I think it's more about the ability to manifest together

1385
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:50,400
Speaker 2: if you are cool, like if you're just cool with

1386
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,719
Speaker 2: like buying a house and Long Beach and living there.

1387
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:57,719
Speaker 5: For I had a Long Beach's talking.

1388
00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:00,360
Speaker 1: I shout out to all the women about houses and

1389
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 1: Long Beach.

1390
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:02,879
Speaker 3: I'm happy for you.

1391
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 2: I can't afford a house anywhere, so you're doing great.

1392
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 2: But when we're talking about our long term goals, I

1393
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,759
Speaker 2: want to like reach high as fuck. And I'm not

1394
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:14,399
Speaker 2: saying sure, I'll sow a beach in Long Beach house

1395
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 2: in there too, but I.

1396
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 3: Want a house in Brooklyn. I want this.

1397
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 2: These are things that I want. And it was not

1398
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 2: that he was buying a house in Long Beach. It

1399
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 2: was more that he's like, oh, it's cheaper in Long Beach.

1400
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, why are you setting your goal there? Why

1401
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 2: are you setting your goal to be cheap right now?

1402
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 2: Like if you're going to set the bar, set the

1403
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 2: bar high.

1404
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,120
Speaker 3: That was my and the nigga that was richer than me.

1405
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 3: He had a good job. He was nerdy, all remember

1406
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 3: the nerds. We talked about. Everything seemed aligne.

1407
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,800
Speaker 2: But he was so his mentality was in such scarcity

1408
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 2: like we would travel. He was just like very fucking frugal.

1409
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 2: And I'm like, my nigga, that's.

1410
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 5: What i had to learn because my fiance is like

1411
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,440
Speaker 5: he's done well for himself. And so when we got together,

1412
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 5: I've always like there's times in my life where I have.

1413
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 3: Worked like three jobs.

1414
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 5: Like I've been working since I was fourteen, so I come,

1415
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 5: you know, I was on like free lunch grown up.

1416
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 5: So like in my mind, like I'm always watching money,

1417
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 5: I'm always like Nope, that's too much.

1418
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:06,000
Speaker 3: And so, like he said to me the other day,

1419
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:07,440
Speaker 3: he was like, why didn't we get a new like

1420
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 3: we need a new watch on drive? Why when we

1421
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 3: got one?

1422
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, because it's not a holiday sale.

1423
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 3: I mean they get one.

1424
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 5: Then he was like breaking her back to do things.

1425
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 3: I'm like Mary Black Friday. Okay, that's how I said.

1426
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 5: I'm like, that's the next Hotiday's Black Friday, so we'll

1427
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:23,919
Speaker 5: get one. And he was just like, no, that makes

1428
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 5: sense to me.

1429
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,439
Speaker 3: I mean it does. It's only a couple of weeks

1430
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 3: away now, but it's.

1431
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 5: Probably about stop.

1432
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 1: It's probably it's probably like the maybe you have a

1433
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: problem asking.

1434
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 3: For things I do. I absolutely because I do.

1435
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: It's it's it's like, I'll just wait.

1436
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:40,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, And then I was like and learned that when

1437
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 5: I got pregnant and I was on attorney leave and

1438
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 5: then COVID hit and I wasn't working, and.

1439
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 3: I was like, you got a whole husband, and you

1440
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 3: was like, but I feel it was.

1441
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, oh my god. But

1442
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 5: the good thing about him he always says us like

1443
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 5: when he gets paid, oh we got paid today, And

1444
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 5: I'd be like, do.

1445
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: You guys have a joint making?

1446
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I'll be.

1447
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 1: Like some fairy people don't still be today.

1448
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 3: We weird we now, but that's it's.

1449
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,800
Speaker 5: Hard when you've just had everything, but yeah, have to

1450
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 5: rely on someone else, but you don't have to rely

1451
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,160
Speaker 5: on him. I think the point with him is like

1452
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:13,720
Speaker 5: you're literally when you guys moved, it was like, oh,

1453
00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:15,360
Speaker 5: I gotta cook, I gotta clean. I was like, no,

1454
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 5: you don't. I have a clean But then but I guess,

1455
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,160
Speaker 5: because you know, growing up, it's like we didn't. It

1456
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:23,360
Speaker 5: was always thought like, Okay, as a woman, you take

1457
00:59:23,360 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 5: care of everything, you take care of your house, you clean,

1458
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 5: you know, or else you're less than at least in

1459
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:29,600
Speaker 5: my head I was. And so I was like I

1460
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 5: was really going through depression because I was like, how

1461
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 5: do I have I have a whole career.

1462
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 3: I'm a whole like head of production for a company.

1463
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 3: I have a real job.

1464
00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 5: And then on top of that, like, how do I

1465
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 5: make sure this house is always clean? How do I

1466
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 5: make sure there's dinner on the table every night?

1467
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 3: Shove at it?

1468
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 5: I just I was like, I have to do it all.

1469
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 5: I can't, like I'm just less than in my head.

1470
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 5: And he never put that on me. It was me,

1471
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 5: And it was like, oh, well, making you do make

1472
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 5: enough yourself.

1473
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 3: You can hire help.

1474
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 1: You could do that.

1475
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 3: And I just was like, wow, you know what I

1476
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 3: can and that doesn't make me a bad you make

1477
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 3: me the help. Please hire all.

1478
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:06,439
Speaker 1: The help that you can be a good mom.

1479
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 4: You have space to be a good mom, and you

1480
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 4: can clear out that you know, all the other ship

1481
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:12,959
Speaker 4: because I am full.

1482
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 1: I'm in full advocacy if you can afford to do

1483
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 1: the ship.

1484
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:21,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So stereotypical wife mom like idea whatever that we

1485
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 2: think right right?

1486
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: Delicious?

1487
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 3: The best mill you've ever.

1488
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 1: Had thinking about it all week. It be great.

1489
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 3: That the chef has prepped all the ingredients. I just

1490
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 3: have to perfect.

1491
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1492
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 4: Well, we have a we have a segment on our

1493
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:43,440
Speaker 4: show called Horis And if you guys are just tuning

1494
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 4: into the show and you don't know what a.

1495
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 1: Horror story, it is a highly horrific hotel. You can be.

1496
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 1: It could be level.

1497
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 4: Ten ho ish and you know we ain't a sham

1498
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 4: in over here, so it's whatever whatever, sexy little tale.

1499
01:00:56,840 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 1: So I was wondering if maybe one of you ladies.

1500
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 5: Have one share you want me to know my look,

1501
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 5: mine is real quick. There was crumbs in a nigga bed. Okay,

1502
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:07,560
Speaker 5: I was that is just toory, like scary.

1503
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 3: I was just scary to me. I don't like I

1504
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 3: hate crumbs.

1505
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:14,080
Speaker 5: Are you saying scary or are you saying like horrors?

1506
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 3: Okay?

1507
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 5: I'm like, okay, it could be.

1508
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 3: It could be halwish and scary, like she.

1509
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 5: Was talking and I have gone gone to his house

1510
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 5: and I was like, if something happens, it happens, you know.

1511
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 5: And then I got there and he pulled them sheets

1512
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 5: back and it was crumbs all up in through that.

1513
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm out of fear.

1514
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 3: That was that was scary.

1515
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:33,439
Speaker 5: I just was like, so I got to roll around

1516
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 5: these sheetos. I'm good, no, trying to be never mind.

1517
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,560
Speaker 5: I was talking to my one of my single friends

1518
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 5: the other day. She came over and she was she

1519
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:48,479
Speaker 5: was in a predicament about dating like friends and things

1520
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:49,640
Speaker 5: like that, and she was like, there's no.

1521
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,959
Speaker 3: Way I can do wait to the guys are friends.

1522
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 5: He's hurt, like like she was in the car, someone

1523
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 5: saw her in the grocery store. We'll do all this stuff.

1524
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 5: And it was just like, oh my god, how And

1525
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 5: I was just like, let me pull out my stories.

1526
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 3: I told her.

1527
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 5: I was like, do you know so and so Troll's

1528
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 5: best friend, flat frat brother situation? And then she was like, yeah,

1529
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:14,360
Speaker 5: he'd be at our house, be here the kids.

1530
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1531
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 5: I was like, well, you know, the first tie Beato

1532
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 5: ever met each other. I was with him and he

1533
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:25,960
Speaker 5: was with my roommate. We were at the club and

1534
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 5: we went back to the house and like you know,

1535
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:32,000
Speaker 5: whatever happened happened a few times. And then from there

1536
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 5: me and Twell became friends. Like I didn't like that

1537
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 5: guy like that. Me and treeb we just became homies friends.

1538
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:42,200
Speaker 5: And then I remember like when we got when he

1539
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 5: wanted to get married, I was like.

1540
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 1: What about so and so, like he.

1541
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 5: Was like what about his loss?

1542
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 3: His bad And I was like, are you?

1543
01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 5: I mean this is his legit best friend, like frat brothers, everything,

1544
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 5: like birthday dinners all.

1545
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 3: I mean, but thank god he's a grown ass man.

1546
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:01,080
Speaker 3: But hurt point.

1547
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:02,760
Speaker 5: It was just like and I was like, yeah, and

1548
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 5: that's so I told her. She like really, I was like, yeah, girls,

1549
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 5: you see him. I was like, you know the other

1550
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 5: day I realized like, wow, they really love each other.

1551
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 5: And I just sit back sometimes.

1552
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:16,240
Speaker 3: Like got that guy, I don't care. Yeah, just like this,

1553
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:19,200
Speaker 3: You're like, wow, well I did that.

1554
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:20,120
Speaker 1: I did both of that.

1555
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 3: But luckily, lord, luckily I landed where I'm at.

1556
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:27,320
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm so grateful, and I mean all the

1557
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 5: men that I ever dated in my past are to

1558
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 5: be It's just like, wow, like you're still there, You're

1559
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 5: still doing that. You know, I lucked out sometimes like

1560
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:38,200
Speaker 5: how did I get him? Because I mean he knows

1561
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 5: everything you know about that type of person. Shout out

1562
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 5: to your husband for being a grown man, shout out point.

1563
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:45,480
Speaker 2: You know.

1564
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:47,280
Speaker 5: It was just like, girl, just go for it.

1565
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 3: Who cares?

1566
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 5: Just be upfront in the beginning, like hey, you know

1567
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 5: I and he most likely won't care.

1568
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:55,440
Speaker 3: And if he does him right does.

1569
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 5: Sorry, there's like a ninety nine obviously that tells you

1570
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 5: where Yeah, and then you have to ask a question,

1571
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:04,880
Speaker 5: do I want that kind of man? Yeah?

1572
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:05,440
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1573
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 5: Because that actually helped me tell him more things that

1574
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 5: I thought I would never be able to tell him

1575
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,280
Speaker 5: that I got serious with, Like, there's no way I

1576
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 5: ever tell this person, right, never tell I've looked at before.

1577
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 3: He said, I don't tell you.

1578
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 1: Know what I was.

1579
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 4: So, when I was browsing my favorite news source, the

1580
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 4: Shade Room, I saw this tweet from Meek Mill and

1581
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:28,919
Speaker 4: it made me think of this actually this very moment,

1582
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,120
Speaker 4: because it said it's hard to find a woman that

1583
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 4: I clap your dog or no industry vibes.

1584
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 1: It's getting more scary. Your friends are fucking every day, right, Why.

1585
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 3: Is it on us?

1586
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 4: And first of all, there's a lot of women who

1587
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:42,640
Speaker 4: I want to say it, and also why the fuck

1588
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 4: does it matter?

1589
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 3: Right? Bomb?

1590
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 2: Then obviously take your niggas word for it, get the deats.

1591
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:56,880
Speaker 4: I just feel like it's just like people fuck, People

1592
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:59,439
Speaker 4: have sex, and sometimes you know you might have sex

1593
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:01,640
Speaker 4: with someone's and that doesn't mean that they're meant to

1594
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 4: be And that doesn't mean that you could never be

1595
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:06,440
Speaker 4: with that person. I just feel like I had I

1596
01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 4: had a situation where I was dating someone and then

1597
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 4: like I found he told me he knew this man

1598
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 4: and I didn't even know he knew this man, and

1599
01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 4: I was honest with him, how would you know? And

1600
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:16,920
Speaker 4: I said, hey, you know, me and that man had

1601
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 4: a situation at one point and it just like was

1602
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:21,280
Speaker 4: it just blew his mind.

1603
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:22,960
Speaker 1: He just could not get over it.

1604
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:25,080
Speaker 3: It was but it's like virgin, like, right, you have

1605
01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 3: a child, never had sucked?

1606
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 1: Yes, And I was like, are you serious right now?

1607
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:31,919
Speaker 4: I was like, first of all, on nigga, I'm sure

1608
01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 4: that you fucked a few people I know, right, but

1609
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,280
Speaker 4: you're just not going to tell me because then we'd

1610
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:36,320
Speaker 4: be on even playing field here.

1611
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:39,840
Speaker 1: That's usually the scenario anyway. Yeah, And secondly, why does

1612
01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:40,320
Speaker 1: it matter?

1613
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 4: I mean, I think that you know, he told me

1614
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:45,400
Speaker 4: he's like men, He's like women want to be loved

1615
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:47,680
Speaker 4: and cared for. Men want to feel like the most important,

1616
01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:50,000
Speaker 4: like like like the most important person in the room,

1617
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 4: like exclusive, like that's like no one else has had.

1618
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:53,439
Speaker 1: What they've had.

1619
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 3: News flash, nigga, you're not right. I'm sorry.

1620
01:05:57,720 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 5: No, And see if you have to take all that

1621
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 5: responsible to make you feel that important, like I don't.

1622
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,919
Speaker 5: I can't take on that recrement. No, yeah, you can't

1623
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:06,720
Speaker 5: make me completely happy.

1624
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 3: No you can't.

1625
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:09,800
Speaker 5: I don't even so.

1626
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:11,960
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, well that's a beautiful.

1627
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:13,280
Speaker 3: I love that I do.

1628
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 5: That's a beautiful I reminded every holiday, every celebration, everyone.

1629
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:21,080
Speaker 3: Welcome to my home.

1630
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 2: It's a testimony that maybe the homeboy is your husband, right,

1631
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:32,720
Speaker 2: you know, it's a testimony you don't know.

1632
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:39,040
Speaker 3: And like, everybody, keep coming and move aside. One, do

1633
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:41,480
Speaker 3: you have any homeboys?

1634
01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 1: Everyone?

1635
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 3: We're friends, right, don't they're the.

1636
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:47,240
Speaker 1: Spectators would be like dang if I would if I

1637
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:48,680
Speaker 1: had a girl, right.

1638
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:52,040
Speaker 5: If I had a girl like that.

1639
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,920
Speaker 4: It's usually yeah, I hear that niggas watch out for

1640
01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 4: your homeboy might take your girls.

1641
01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:57,840
Speaker 1: So treat a write or.

1642
01:06:57,840 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, come correct or don't come at all, or passed

1643
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:02,360
Speaker 2: me to the homeboy who is ready.

1644
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,840
Speaker 4: Literally, oh my god, ladies, Well thank you so guys

1645
01:07:06,840 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 4: so much for coming on.

1646
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:10,840
Speaker 3: This was fun. I enjoyed this conversation.

1647
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 1: Can you tell our listeners where they can find you?

1648
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 5: Yes, Mommy needs to break podcasts everywhere that podcasts are

1649
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:22,040
Speaker 5: so fineest, We're there, we have we do a video

1650
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:25,640
Speaker 5: version on YouTube as well. M and a B podcast,

1651
01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 5: M and a B podcast everywhere on your social media.

1652
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:29,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1653
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:31,680
Speaker 3: Oh and me, me Meg scoop like a scoop of

1654
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 3: ice cream because I like ice cream.

1655
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:35,600
Speaker 5: I that's really not why. It's because I used to

1656
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:37,120
Speaker 5: I'd be nosy and have this scoop on the lot.

1657
01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:39,880
Speaker 3: I figured that's what it was people, that it's ice cream.

1658
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:40,720
Speaker 1: What's your favorite?

1659
01:07:40,760 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 3: What's your favorite flavorings and cream?

1660
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:42,720
Speaker 5: Oh?

1661
01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:47,440
Speaker 3: My, got me too, Yes, that ship is my ship.

1662
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:49,720
Speaker 1: So there's a black owned.

1663
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:52,640
Speaker 5: Ice cream my girl, all cho no jams.

1664
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:55,840
Speaker 1: Have you heard of all Noll Park?

1665
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 5: Oh yes, yes, my kids are.

1666
01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:01,160
Speaker 3: I've been there. I've been there.

1667
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:02,360
Speaker 1: I've been hip hop ice cream shop.

1668
01:08:02,640 --> 01:08:04,800
Speaker 2: Damn all these black owned ice cream shots and she

1669
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:07,080
Speaker 2: cream truly.

1670
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:08,600
Speaker 3: I bet had praising with the cream.

1671
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:12,240
Speaker 5: Please, yeah, you can find me. She is Bracea Jay.

1672
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 5: Let you see me and my kids and my husband.

1673
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,400
Speaker 3: Have very mature husband.

1674
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:21,000
Speaker 5: Yes, and come to her fabulous co working space in Englewood,

1675
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:22,839
Speaker 5: California called lock Create Space.

1676
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:25,760
Speaker 3: We're here now here right now, We're at lock Create Space.

1677
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:27,680
Speaker 4: We've recorded here a few different times and it is

1678
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 4: an amazing space and black owned support our people. And

1679
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:34,759
Speaker 4: if you have a podcast in La, come come shoot

1680
01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:36,360
Speaker 4: it and film it here.

1681
01:08:37,120 --> 01:08:39,040
Speaker 1: Thanks, Lady's Lovely.

1682
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:41,920
Speaker 3: Don't play your stuff.

1683
01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:42,720
Speaker 1: We don't be like a for you.

1684
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:45,479
Speaker 3: Believe right, you know where to find us.

1685
01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 2: We're Good Mom's Bad Choices across all platforms. If you

1686
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:53,280
Speaker 2: want to see us get sexy on the internet at

1687
01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:57,719
Speaker 2: Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. Follow our new retreat journey.

1688
01:08:57,920 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 2: Our first one's coming up in January twenty twenty two,

1689
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:02,240
Speaker 2: the Good Vibe Retreat.

1690
01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:05,560
Speaker 1: Yes, we'll be in Costa Rica with the tribe.

1691
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:07,160
Speaker 3: And doing hood red stuff with our friend.

1692
01:09:08,120 --> 01:09:11,800
Speaker 4: I'm serious guys and loves the really as come come through,

1693
01:09:11,880 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 4: Come through and we will see you guys next week.

1694
01:09:15,760 --> 01:09:17,160
Speaker 3: Bye bye.

1695
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:21,920
Speaker 2: Solo recorder Lalola the Latter.

1696
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:24,520
Speaker 5: Day Yes, Lamla ranz.

1697
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:34,519
Speaker 2: Ession question

1698
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:44,120
Speaker 3: Yeah by that