Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want
Speaker 2: to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim, and give us
Speaker 3: time and a terminol.
Speaker 2: And gaggie ad.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off InStyle.
Speaker 2: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride?
Speaker 2: To ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you
Speaker 2: need to ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Colgarreth.
Speaker 2: We are leaving for my house, which is rare, I know,
Speaker 2: but it's so exciting. Please take a left.
Speaker 1: Okay. Another reason today is exciting is because it's Chris's birthday.
Speaker 2: That's right, I am fifty years old.
Speaker 1: Is this the Big five? Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Holy shit? How do you feel?
Speaker 2: I mean? I went to bed feeling like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I can't believe I'm at a halfway point, and then
Speaker 2: I woke up like, who am I fooling? I'm not
Speaker 2: going to live to be a hundred. Maybe that'd be
Speaker 2: great if I did. I'm not saying I won't. My
Speaker 2: great grandma did. But it's more of a three fourths.
Speaker 2: Oh god, is it two thirds?
Speaker 1: Could be a two thirds or could be a seven
Speaker 1: tenths or.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're a oh no, that would have to
Speaker 2: be an accident.
Speaker 1: Maybe these guys are no, they this is gorgeous.
Speaker 2: Yes, I this is Look at this, Look at this
Speaker 2: rounded glass on this is that a turn? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's so pretty.
Speaker 2: That is the kind of As a kid, an anxious kid,
Speaker 2: I had nightmares about a baseball knowing into that kind
Speaker 2: of class, in that kind of glass, or that.
Speaker 1: Was sent there by you, or just in general.
Speaker 2: Just in general, I just felt for homeowners, even as
Speaker 2: a child.
Speaker 1: Of course you did. You've always been an EmPATH.
Speaker 2: Uh and we shall turn right, okay.
Speaker 3: But all these yes, all these people have to do
Speaker 3: their things, all dough mine.
Speaker 2: The uncontrolled intersections around here. This is the I think
Speaker 2: we've driven through in the past. We have for sure, Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: So everyone knows this is the most Victorian homes in
Speaker 2: all of Los Angeles, and I live near it, although
Speaker 2: I am not in it, but it is. I get
Speaker 2: so excited about them that this is where I drive
Speaker 2: around and do my cameos.
Speaker 3: It's just so pretty. It's like there's actually architecture interesting.
Speaker 3: I mean that it's interesting, like what was that?
Speaker 2: Even that rundown kind of a lot of them look
Speaker 2: like haunted houses, especially the Thriller house. But there is
Speaker 2: one street that is one more one more block and
Speaker 2: the Milturn Left. But I want to get everyone's feedback
Speaker 2: about this house that seemingly has a CBGB's awning, which
Speaker 2: I've seen the guy out there working on his motorcycle.
Speaker 2: Left turn here, Carroll Avenue is apparently the street. This
Speaker 2: is the this is a horse historic street with the
Speaker 2: most Victorian homes. That is the Thriller House there?
Speaker 1: Oh cool? So has it always looked like that?
Speaker 2: I burnt. I don't know. And it's funny, very fittingly.
Speaker 2: The person that lives in there just peeks out the
Speaker 2: window and there's one flickering light. She's really in character.
Speaker 1: Wow. But oh look at the yes.
Speaker 2: Look at that rounded like, I don't even know what
Speaker 2: that is.
Speaker 1: I don't either, have never seen that. And there's a
Speaker 1: lot of Victorian.
Speaker 3: Homes in my hometown, so like I kind of thought
Speaker 3: I've seen it all before.
Speaker 2: And this is this one house. The more gothic. Of
Speaker 2: these had a Black Lives Matter a poster and the
Speaker 2: other one had a Trump thing. But I saw them always.
Speaker 1: Almost like across the street from each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I see it. I've driven through here enough
Speaker 2: to see that they are indeed friends and they put
Speaker 2: their politics aside. Nice to take a rite, okay, and yes, yes.
Speaker 1: Wow, you know it's funny. I'm the one.
Speaker 3: I was having all those reactions like I hadn't been
Speaker 3: there before, even though I'm like, yes, we've done this,
Speaker 3: like at least twice.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I.
Speaker 3: Always looked up instead of down, so like I was
Speaker 3: always looking at the same side of the street, and
Speaker 3: the other side of the street had those crazy like
Speaker 3: that was like a porch with a built wooden instead
Speaker 3: of like the usual lattice. It was circular porthole, a
Speaker 3: gigantic port hole.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, like you're walking into a submarine shaped porch.
Speaker 1: Or a Lord of the Rings style port.
Speaker 2: Or some sort of a horizontal well.
Speaker 3: It's the ring well turned sideways and the girl with
Speaker 3: the wet hair comes out forward from.
Speaker 2: It, right right. It's horrifying and gothic but so ornate,
Speaker 2: and you really got to appreciate the woodwork. And then
Speaker 2: you're just in a neighborhood like this. These are the
Speaker 2: homes that like remind me of any university district in
Speaker 2: like a Midwest town.
Speaker 1: These lemon trees in the front yards very inniscent of
Speaker 1: old Los Angeles when it was all citrus groves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are a lot of lemon trees.
Speaker 1: Oh there's one for sale. Just the tree, please, we'll
Speaker 1: take four lemons. That's seven thousand dollars. Put a skeleton
Speaker 1: on a.
Speaker 2: Bike, take it right here. Oh that's fun. That's what
Speaker 2: you do when that's the bike equivalent of right, okay,
Speaker 2: putting like a planting flowers in the hood of your camaro.
Speaker 2: Yeah on blocks. Yeah, this is it's just a cool neighborhood.
Speaker 2: The fact that we're near downtown it's not lost on me.
Speaker 2: Although i'm lost right now. I'm so sorry, but I
Speaker 2: know that I had a mission.
Speaker 1: Well we'll just drive around, yeah, just go up and down.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: It is a fun care free I mean you can
Speaker 2: take a rider. Not here, of course, because there's a house,
Speaker 2: but anywhere you go, we're gonna.
Speaker 1: Want to take it. Right.
Speaker 3: Oh thinks okay, right, could someone please move these recycling bins.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's how you know you're in a neighborhood
Speaker 2: that really they're all in agreeance with some sort of ordinance.
Speaker 2: They have meetings, and that's one of these meetings. They're like,
Speaker 2: I think they should be twelve feet because the garbage
Speaker 2: guy told me that. Okay, all adjourned gavel. It seems
Speaker 2: like that kind of neighborhood.
Speaker 3: But I mean like saying we need to put them
Speaker 3: this far into the street, right.
Speaker 2: Some people came, yeah, it's like, okay, where this is
Speaker 2: our third session about six to twelve feet, which is
Speaker 2: going to be where you don't get that kind of
Speaker 2: neighborhood action action and other parts of Los Angeles. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is I think the right street, and up on
Speaker 2: the left there's a CBGB's that rock club even though
Speaker 2: stands for country, blues and blue grass a lot of bands. Okay,
Speaker 2: what do you think is that authentic or did the guy.
Speaker 3: Just ooh, it kind of does look authentic. I mean,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't know. It's not like I saw it in
Speaker 3: real life.
Speaker 2: In New York.
Speaker 3: But that's fucking I mean, it is the mfug thing.
Speaker 3: I wonder if that's the correct I wonder if they
Speaker 3: did that, because that's three fifteen and CBGB's was three
Speaker 3: fifteen on whatever street.
Speaker 2: They were all, oh, maybe or maybe the guy that
Speaker 2: lives there was a door guy only.
Speaker 1: So you look up what the real one looks like.
Speaker 2: That's what I think that's gonna it's immediately gonna be Oh,
Speaker 2: they were all bright red because that one's sort of
Speaker 2: a alien skin tone.
Speaker 1: It was gray, very gray green. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And of course this house on the right, I never
Speaker 2: know where I am anyway, there's a house from one
Speaker 2: tree Hill somewhere in here.
Speaker 3: Wait, I have breaking news though, because yes, do you
Speaker 3: want to hear about Blossom's adventure.
Speaker 1: Like a squirrel? Yeah, literally, just sitting in the street
Speaker 1: eating a nut, like a like a cartoon in the world.
Speaker 2: Hye bye, casual squirrel with great postures.
Speaker 1: You know why, because that casual squirrel feels protected by
Speaker 1: these garbage cans that the way out in the fucking street.
Speaker 2: You know what. The meting squirrels were brought up.
Speaker 1: They were like, we must protect these nut eating squirrels.
Speaker 2: And they have names. Okay, that dilapidated, sure, shingle. It
Speaker 2: looks haunted, but look at it's stacked up. It reminds
Speaker 2: me of Astoria, Oregon. It's a goony's house right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: So the other morning, Blossom's like, I have to get
Speaker 3: out into the yard at five point fifteen, and I
Speaker 3: was like, are you serious?
Speaker 1: This is irritating, which is real insistent. So I got
Speaker 1: up and let her out through the siding glass or
Speaker 1: my bedroom, and then ten minutes go by. I'm just
Speaker 1: laying there, Me and Frank get up and then we
Speaker 1: hear Blossom yelp out in the yard and she comes
Speaker 1: running in right and so I'm like, what did you
Speaker 1: do whatever? And she looks super scared. I look out
Speaker 1: the window. Two full sized coyotes. Oh shit, are walking away.
Speaker 1: So they're on the near They're on the house side
Speaker 1: of the path of the pool, not the other side,
Speaker 1: and they are walking away.
Speaker 3: And then like ten minutes later, I'm out feeding them whatever,
Speaker 3: doing our morning routine, and I look down. Her leg
Speaker 3: is bleeding. They nipped her no way, yes, and I
Speaker 3: had to.
Speaker 1: Take her to the vet, the emergency VT. And she
Speaker 1: got bitten.
Speaker 3: She got like nipped and almost taken by a coyote.
Speaker 1: She got away and now she has a little her
Speaker 1: little treated puncture wound and she has to work cone.
Speaker 2: Oh no, but I'm so glad.
Speaker 1: That's Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I thought I would think your yard would be the
Speaker 2: safest because it's not, like, doesn't it drop off after
Speaker 2: the pool?
Speaker 1: There's like yes, but they I think they live at
Speaker 1: the bottom of the of like there's like a lot
Speaker 1: of wild because it's just empty fields in all of
Speaker 1: the neighbor's backyards. So I think there's a lot of
Speaker 1: wildlife back there.
Speaker 2: And yell a motor cycle look at him, go uh yeah,
Speaker 2: that is my worst fear. And I'm not even a
Speaker 2: dog owner.
Speaker 1: It was pretty crazy. But she she has made it
Speaker 1: through the rain. But you know, as opposed to just
Speaker 1: having you name random one tree hill houses, I thought
Speaker 1: i'd bring a little bring a little breaking news to
Speaker 1: the poet.
Speaker 2: Well, back to the subject at hand. The UPN Network
Speaker 2: shot a lot of.
Speaker 1: The subject of men. Is this really how you want
Speaker 1: to spend your birthday? Chris? It doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2: Old homes are my birds. I watch them, I drive
Speaker 2: by slow, I peek in them. OEPs. No, it was
Speaker 2: just something nearby.
Speaker 1: No, No, it's good.
Speaker 2: But what are you going to do? I mean lifestyle
Speaker 2: change wise, How are you going to battle these coyotes
Speaker 2: because they are conniving. They will taunt a dog and
Speaker 2: have their friends waiting around the corner, like coyotes are masterful.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's why she thought. I'm sure she thought they
Speaker 1: were friends and so that they could go and play together.
Speaker 1: Happy Birthdays.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: I'm handing Chris a big birthday present.
Speaker 2: This makes me so happy. I didn't even know that
Speaker 2: you knew. I was all excited to surprise you.
Speaker 1: I knew and you do. Do you know why? Because
Speaker 1: of our masterful producer on the least, who texted me
Speaker 1: and was like, I feel like this is something you
Speaker 1: would want to know if you don't know already. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, of course I already knew.
Speaker 2: I know. I didn't know because I never have even
Speaker 2: when I should. Family members. My sister makes a calendar
Speaker 2: with photos of the days with like remember your niece's birthday,
Speaker 2: and I get that's why I get these hard copy calendars.
Speaker 2: The only way people were getting it right for a
Speaker 2: while is when we were all on Facebook.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's right, and you could just see other people
Speaker 3: doing it and you're like.
Speaker 2: Hey, whoa, this is big, big, beautiful.
Speaker 1: Or a frame I gave Chris and or a frame
Speaker 1: which we have done commercials for ourselves.
Speaker 2: Right, this is the equivalent, and I'm going to read
Speaker 2: the card out loud all their stickers thank you. Oh
Speaker 2: that that's so me. A dog with a with his
Speaker 2: hat bill flipped out his punk rock dog and oh yeah,
Speaker 2: that's a that's a very salivating dog. And then wait,
Speaker 2: where have I seen this butt man before?
Speaker 3: It's Eric who drew the bananas logo. He's a skateboard
Speaker 3: guy and he's like an illustrator comic book guy.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's why it looks familiar, because I'm a skateboard.
Speaker 1: Guy exactly, and he's super cool.
Speaker 2: Happy birthday, my friend loved KK. Thank you KK.
Speaker 1: You're welcome.
Speaker 2: People know that that's when we call each other when
Speaker 2: we're out of the.
Speaker 3: Studio and we just don't have time to share full
Speaker 3: names to each other.
Speaker 2: What are the dimensions of this frame? I am this
Speaker 2: is the biggest picture frame ever. It's like an art
Speaker 2: gallery size.
Speaker 1: It is now. Also, please fully feel free to keep
Speaker 1: it and regift it to your sister or somebody if
Speaker 1: you feel like somebody else will love it more.
Speaker 2: But my sister has or frames she purchased through our
Speaker 2: you know code discount code. But this one, this sign,
Speaker 2: I mean, this is nice. And I had some too
Speaker 2: that I gave away his gifts and leaving none no
Speaker 2: frames for thine self.
Speaker 1: Right you always give them away? Yes, but I do
Speaker 1: have a little.
Speaker 3: They were very generous and I'm sorry because this really
Speaker 3: does sound like a commercial and it's not. But they
Speaker 3: just gave us so many because we did ads for
Speaker 3: so long that I'm like, hey, who wants one?
Speaker 1: Everyone loves them?
Speaker 2: Well I need some? Should we mention oneskin because I
Speaker 2: need a refill? I'm just kidding. We have great sponsors.
Speaker 2: It's our point.
Speaker 1: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2: Thanks and you paid unslated ad plug. I'm very excited
Speaker 2: about this. Yeah, great, Yeah I am.
Speaker 1: I think that's a really mature gift to get for
Speaker 1: your fiftieth birthday, a digital frame where you can focus
Speaker 1: on family.
Speaker 2: I wonder is I probably shouldn't because of the size
Speaker 2: of this. I should get some nice high reds photos,
Speaker 2: ketsups be you know, all connected to my Instagram and
Speaker 2: then pixel city you know what I mean, don't get
Speaker 2: me a start.
Speaker 1: Take a look. I don't know if that's how it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know either.
Speaker 3: I mean on my dad's which is regular size, smaller
Speaker 3: than that one. All of the pictures are digital and
Speaker 3: they look great. Oh they're like phone pictures.
Speaker 2: Right, I'm excited, yay for my birthday. I have where
Speaker 2: there's going to be a photo booth or what is
Speaker 2: it with a red carpet and a point and shoot
Speaker 2: or a oh step and repeat, a step and repeat. Sorry,
Speaker 2: been a while since I modeled.
Speaker 1: Sorry, really quick, K and K donut? Did you know
Speaker 1: that was there?
Speaker 2: I never put it together. And it's funny because I
Speaker 2: call you KK all the time.
Speaker 1: It's all happening. Okay. Sorry, you're saying you have never modeled,
Speaker 1: and yet.
Speaker 2: Well I did. I was a foot model for a while,
Speaker 2: but I have not ever seen a photo. You know,
Speaker 2: when you're at an event, like I'd get invited to
Speaker 2: Comedy Central stuff once, you know, a decade ago, and
Speaker 2: then you'd go look up the photos and it says
Speaker 2: Getty Images. So I on plexiglass in the foreground of
Speaker 2: this photo backdrop, I'm printing out a Getty Images thing
Speaker 2: on plexiglass. So it's in front of everyone, which gives
Speaker 2: each photo a hilarious legitimacy and a wink to showbiz.
Speaker 2: Do you think.
Speaker 1: Absolutely the Getty people may sue you. Just keep it
Speaker 1: in mind, just be ready in case they do.
Speaker 2: I it did cross my mind. But it is also yeah,
Speaker 2: it is their logo and they'll switch up the phone.
Speaker 3: Well it's the whole it's not just the logo, but
Speaker 3: it's the whole way they watermark their own pictures, right,
Speaker 3: so you're kind of like it's mine too, which I
Speaker 3: think they don't like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, who I mean, that would be if the best
Speaker 2: case scenario, if it looking I think I wanted to
Speaker 2: be crooked and because I'm just gonna put a on
Speaker 2: campaign sign wires and it'll be like crooked and I'm
Speaker 2: going to make the letters slightly askew. We'll see. But
Speaker 2: you're now that but you're just saying legal standpoint.
Speaker 1: But you're just saying purely for your birthday as this
Speaker 1: funny thing, right, Okay, But it.
Speaker 2: Is a photo booth where from an iPad people can
Speaker 2: email the photos to themselves. Oftentimes you can pay for
Speaker 2: that service, but there are apps where you know there's
Speaker 2: just a ring light and a red carpet. People can
Speaker 2: take photos and send them to themselves, so it's not
Speaker 2: like they're going online.
Speaker 1: Then I think. Then I think, as a.
Speaker 2: Now I'm worried about getting sued by the Getty people.
Speaker 1: I didn't understand. I thought you were talking about something else,
Speaker 1: because you were you started that talking about Comedy Central
Speaker 1: and all these things, so the right kind of confused.
Speaker 2: But here's my thing, Christopher Nolan talk.
Speaker 1: It's what's the value of that? Because like, it's a
Speaker 1: fun joke to you.
Speaker 3: But then I bet you all those people who absolutely
Speaker 3: want to post those pictures, is that a positive for them?
Speaker 1: That Getty is on there? It looks like it's something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because the background I made it says fifty years
Speaker 2: at Fairbanks, and there's Ivy Leave like film Fest Laurels,
Speaker 2: so it really looks like we're at some sort of
Speaker 2: a event. The backdrop is a perfect white, you know,
Speaker 2: spandex sheet that covers this frame, and it looks like
Speaker 2: we're at an event. And I just thought, what everyone
Speaker 2: loves getting photos taken in front of those things photo ops,
Speaker 2: why not provide one in a hilarious way wonderful?
Speaker 1: Sorry, I think I wasn't listening.
Speaker 2: No, no, And I do have trouble getting from point
Speaker 2: A to.
Speaker 3: Point B, and I have trouble following in any way,
Speaker 3: shape or form when people are speaking.
Speaker 1: I guess, no, it's me.
Speaker 2: Howard Kramer, I believe, has called me a huge I'm
Speaker 2: in screensaver because yeah, I don't quite know where it's
Speaker 2: but I do know why he's saying it.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's a it's not super specific, but it is
Speaker 3: just kind of a funny.
Speaker 1: You have an ability to when you're.
Speaker 3: Speaking, Uh, you kind of sound like toasters bouncing right.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of buffering that goes on.
Speaker 1: There's a big green, beautiful hill with a beautiful blue
Speaker 1: sky behind it. Is that you?
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, exactly. I thought you meant.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: There's a kaleidoscopy wheel that's always churning as I think,
Speaker 2: but the sky. I love that. It's raining. We need it,
Speaker 2: we want it. Bring it on for your birthday?
Speaker 1: Do you want a milkshake from McDonald's.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, Oh you mean right now? It is my
Speaker 2: birthday now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's your birthday now. And there's a McDonald's right there.
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, that's really very nice. I didn't know
Speaker 2: you already got me a big, nice frame I would love.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see if I don't kill us both by
Speaker 1: making this left turn.
Speaker 3: And I did it, oops, but very close, but I didn't.
Speaker 3: Bob Newhart is eternal.
Speaker 2: Yes, I I should listen to my button down mind
Speaker 2: of Bob Newhart if you haven't, if you're maybe not
Speaker 2: even familiar with him or only know him from one
Speaker 2: of his TV shows, Right, Bob Newhart's stand up is
Speaker 2: very ahead of its time and great. Yeah, not ahead
Speaker 2: of its time compared to today. I don't think anyone's doing
Speaker 2: one end of a phone call on stage, but if
Speaker 2: you saw it today, you'd be like, oh, someone's doing that.
Speaker 2: At the time, people were losing their minds and arena's
Speaker 2: were filled.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like, if you think about someone like Bob Newhart touring
Speaker 2: and selling out to like middle aged folks, I think
Speaker 2: is who went to see comedy back then? Now you
Speaker 2: know it's just a bunch of spray painting kids with mohawks.
Speaker 1: Well also though, back then young people look like middle
Speaker 1: aged people, so it's kind of kind of hard to tell.
Speaker 2: Right, That's what I'm noticing when I because you know,
Speaker 2: turning fifty it's crazy not to just look at an
Speaker 2: old photo of like here's the us UCLA football team,
Speaker 2: Like when you're in a sports bar, it's like nineteen
Speaker 2: forty five, and everyone looks like the Three Stooges. So
Speaker 2: they're just like a bunch of mow and cheps balding.
Speaker 2: So a couple of the kids have cigarettes in their mouth.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh my.
Speaker 2: Okay, and I believe that's yours.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: It's my birthday, Mike Flurry, it's a milkshake. Oh is
Speaker 2: it just a milkshake? I can't remember?
Speaker 3: And he goes, we don't have that, but we have milkshakes,
Speaker 3: and he goes vanilla or chocolate medium, and then you
Speaker 3: go strawberry.
Speaker 2: I very much did not. Nobody was saying maybe it's
Speaker 2: because I wasn't close to the speaker.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 2: Oh I can't wait. I have a feeling we're gonna
Speaker 2: have to run around the building again and thank him
Speaker 2: because he said sorry five times.
Speaker 1: I know, thank you.
Speaker 2: The great part of this beverage is the silent enjoyment.
Speaker 2: Oh zero sound here. I am enjoying it. I guarantee
Speaker 2: you could hear a pin drop because it.
Speaker 1: Takes a lot of power to suction up that milkshake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta be careful. Actually, I don't want to
Speaker 2: burst a blood vessel in my eye.
Speaker 3: Hmmm.
Speaker 2: That is I mean, I've never accused anything of being
Speaker 2: too chocolate.
Speaker 1: This is to chocolate.
Speaker 2: No, it's more it is as chocolatey as a piece
Speaker 2: of chocolate.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: I wish Yeah, flavor Wise housed the room for the
Speaker 2: ice because I'm basically drinking a chocolate war delicious.
Speaker 1: That's exciting.
Speaker 2: El Sid on the right, did you know that was
Speaker 2: a It was a comedy venue when I used to
Speaker 2: perform there often, but it was before that a restaurant
Speaker 2: that was prison themed and each booth was behind bars,
Speaker 2: and all the waiters were wearing prisoner outfits. And they
Speaker 2: have photos of it. It seems like the craziest theme
Speaker 2: ever from back when forty five year olds were on
Speaker 2: the UCLA football team.
Speaker 1: It's like.
Speaker 2: Larious these photos and you can tell even by the
Speaker 2: looks on the people's faces that they're like, this is
Speaker 2: a weird. I'm all for prison themed.
Speaker 1: Events, sure, fun, but is this appropriate? Have you?
Speaker 2: Of course you have being a Bay Area kid gone
Speaker 2: to the Alcatraz tour? Yes, where they have like the
Speaker 2: recording of and you can hear as you hear the
Speaker 2: recordings that are walking you through the prison, you can
Speaker 2: hear hired actors like saying things in the background, and
Speaker 2: they say funny things.
Speaker 1: They're kind of the rabble trying to make it seem realistic,
Speaker 1: like a prison.
Speaker 2: You are about to make me punch you with my fist,
Speaker 2: I said, no, one says that. Yeah, it's just it's just.
Speaker 1: Not in prison, they don't warn you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just when extra's riff, you know, you know
Speaker 2: how it is.
Speaker 1: I wonder if one of those extra was Robin Williams.
Speaker 2: What do you know of Robin Williams's earlier work? Was
Speaker 2: he a Bay Area struggling actor?
Speaker 1: He was a San Fran guy. Do you want any
Speaker 1: fries with your shake?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, you know, I'm not going to be one
Speaker 2: of these people that dips it in the shake. I've
Speaker 2: seen that you can.
Speaker 1: Why not? You're fifty now, I you're right.
Speaker 2: Why don't I do it? Even though when I see it,
Speaker 2: I walk the room, Well, there's a lid, thank you,
Speaker 2: welcome those There's a reason people just want those fries.
Speaker 1: I know, they're so fucking good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the flavor of other fries. Really, it's just so
Speaker 2: obviously a potato that is something else that is chemicals.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of salt, sugar.
Speaker 2: I mean, hey, there's no escaping chemicals. They are raining
Speaker 2: down upon us.
Speaker 1: They are inside us. The plastics are inside it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I might as well have control over some of
Speaker 2: the chemicals entering.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get to choose.
Speaker 2: Yeah, uh yeah, there are those are delicious, man, right,
Speaker 2: I feel like a gerbil.
Speaker 1: Why could you want more?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That was my big thing, or kind of like my
Speaker 1: secret shame, which was that I would always like after
Speaker 1: a comedy show or like going out at night, on
Speaker 1: my way home, I'd be like, well, I have to
Speaker 1: get McDonald's. I'm out you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm out here.
Speaker 3: I need to eat fries. Yeah, And then I'd be like,
Speaker 3: what are you doing? You're not like, don't do it,
Speaker 3: it's not worth it or whatever. But it's like there
Speaker 3: are chemicals that are like, yes, you will do it,
Speaker 3: and you buy it right now.
Speaker 2: Well, it's hard not to get into that habit. I
Speaker 2: think mine was always Taco Bell because I don't like
Speaker 2: to eat before a show. I'm riddled with anxiety before
Speaker 2: to this day not as bad, but early years in Hollywood,
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I can't eat. I have to have
Speaker 2: that frantic energy of being hungry because of one time
Speaker 2: I was full and had low energy that dictated the
Speaker 2: rest of my life. And so I wait till after
Speaker 2: a show, and then I go, what's available? Oh, nothing
Speaker 2: but drive through. Let's do it. Let's do it.
Speaker 1: Let's go for.
Speaker 2: It, you and me together, body.
Speaker 1: I am so sick of this car's GPS just leading
Speaker 1: me down impossible left turns. It's all it does. It's
Speaker 1: so irritating. Just like, here's a great way to go
Speaker 1: to get away from traffic, take a left on sunset.
Speaker 1: It's five pm with everyone wanting to kill you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Maybe it's elon tapping into a thing kind
Speaker 2: of like my Instagram. It's leading me to all day things.
Speaker 2: I am very much non interested. Now he's like, it's
Speaker 2: all of the directions are right leaning, where it's just
Speaker 2: you never can go left.
Speaker 1: He knows my political affiliation.
Speaker 2: He's going to fuck me over, and he loves puns.
Speaker 1: I already looked up by just by the bye, I
Speaker 1: already looked up my trade in I've got my trade
Speaker 1: in thing lined up. I'm getting rid of this car
Speaker 1: for sure.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, do you remember that there are a couple
Speaker 2: guys that he pushed out of the company m hmm
Speaker 2: that originally conceived this car. I know for good reasons.
Speaker 2: You bought it for good reasons. I don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 2: And as the sticker that almost made it on your
Speaker 2: car says, you bought it before you knew how crazy
Speaker 2: he was or something like.
Speaker 1: That, Yeah, what an Asthley was. Yes, also that technically
Speaker 1: that sticker made it onto the car, right, because there's
Speaker 1: still an O and a Y and an A back there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just it's just a visual IQ test brain teaser,
Speaker 2: which I think we're are we about to replay an
Speaker 2: old patent episode? I think it's coming up. But his
Speaker 2: show that show it, I am so good at it.
Speaker 2: And it's because you know, how are these photos different?
Speaker 2: Which one is a perfect mirrored image of this photo?
Speaker 2: What is the pattern with these numbers? But it's not math,
Speaker 2: it's just looking for patterns and things. And I remembered
Speaker 2: a long time ago, and I'm you know, I don't brag,
Speaker 2: but I took an IQ test in college and they
Speaker 2: were like, well, this is your i Q, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's there's no way because that was all stuff that
Speaker 2: was easy for me. There's no English in math. And
Speaker 2: they're like, yeah, that's not when an IQ is based
Speaker 2: on you're bad at those things because you have ADHD
Speaker 2: or whatever. Right, So it is those kind of questions.
Speaker 1: I want what was your IQ because I couldn't tell
Speaker 1: if you were saying when you said that's not it?
Speaker 2: Well was it?
Speaker 1: Because it was really high or really long?
Speaker 2: They said it was high, but I didn't want to.
Speaker 2: I don't remember what it was. Come on, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't remember. That's see, that's the part of my brain.
Speaker 1: Over one thirty.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. But it was it was
Speaker 2: one hundred something. I don't know. I do know it
Speaker 2: was a hundred something. Wait, what is is one thirty average? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, it's high, okay, but I mean I think
Speaker 1: it's it's over a hundred. I feel like the when
Speaker 1: people brag about a rhyme and mensa right, Like, for example,
Speaker 1: I just watched an episode of Seinfeld, which is my
Speaker 1: new weird addict show, because I never watched it the
Speaker 1: first time around, and now I'm.
Speaker 2: Sorry you didn't. Oh that's great. Have you heard it? Cheers,
Speaker 2: you'll love it? Oh who was a mensa? But I'm
Speaker 2: vaguely remembering.
Speaker 1: Elane just brags that her IQ is like pardon me,
Speaker 1: one forty or one fifty, right or something like that,
Speaker 1: but then once she takes the test, it's not.
Speaker 2: Oh right, you know whatever. Well, that's more what I
Speaker 2: was doubting. When I took this test. It was given
Speaker 2: to me by a ta in a lab for psycholog
Speaker 2: like psychology credit or something yea, so it was it
Speaker 2: was not done by like a guy in a lab
Speaker 2: coat that's done it many times.
Speaker 1: It's way more legit than me taking it on like
Speaker 1: a I was going to brag them up mine, but
Speaker 1: it was an internet test. I had this friend that
Speaker 1: was obsessed with IQs and like her own IQ and
Speaker 1: being smarter than other people.
Speaker 3: Right, you really fucked me. But we were stoned when
Speaker 3: we took the IQ test. I was and I got
Speaker 3: like one thirty nine or something wild, and she was
Speaker 3: really mad because I got higher than her, and.
Speaker 1: She was like, how did you do that? I don't
Speaker 1: even know what this test is, like, this is like
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: What, Oh, I think that that has a lot to
Speaker 2: do the anxiety that I would get when a test
Speaker 2: meant something like going towards your grade. I it bothered
Speaker 2: me throughout all of my schooling, but this test was like, oh,
Speaker 2: credit in a lab, sure, whatever, right, Oh, these are
Speaker 2: pictures that one. Oh that's the missing piece. And then
Speaker 2: they're like, but but sir, I'm not saying he said
Speaker 2: the word genius, but other geniuses were mentioned by name.
Speaker 1: Albert Einstein.
Speaker 2: Albert Einstein, that's the only genius anyone can summon from memory.
Speaker 1: Him and Andy Richter. He's supposed to be very smart.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sure I could Yes, I could tell.
Speaker 1: He won Jeopardy a bunch of times. Oh really yeah,
Speaker 1: like Celebrity Jeopardy, Jeopardy he just destroyed.
Speaker 2: That's amazing. What a terrible trait to be for a
Speaker 2: side host that can only chime in every once in
Speaker 2: a while, like, oh, I actually know exactly what should
Speaker 2: be said right now, But I'll do my job.
Speaker 1: I just have to sit here and wait for the zinger.
Speaker 2: Oh someone has a pet snake or something?
Speaker 1: Is that what that is?
Speaker 2: I just love looking in windows.
Speaker 1: Are they're grown weed? Yeah? Oh yeah, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people walking dogs today? Is it because they just
Speaker 1: stopped raining?
Speaker 2: I think dogs really love I mean it's the only
Speaker 2: way they really get to travel the world is by
Speaker 2: smelling new smells. And when it's rating, it's just like,
Speaker 2: where are we Hawaii?
Speaker 1: You know they can't they're freaking out. Have you ever
Speaker 1: gone to that's an air one. There's a hotel over
Speaker 1: here that has a.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the wrap it around there. There's no rules here.
Speaker 2: They put these sticks up. But what rideshare drivers always
Speaker 2: park in the middle. Yes, this hotel, Michelle Bluno always
Speaker 2: stays here. And so I've hung out by the pool
Speaker 2: and it's it's very it's very cool.
Speaker 1: That pool area looks so cool.
Speaker 2: It is I want to go to it. It is
Speaker 2: you can. I think you can go there and say
Speaker 2: I'm just here for a sandwich and then just jump
Speaker 2: in naked.
Speaker 3: And then order sandwich stripped down really fast. Yeah, get
Speaker 3: in that pool.
Speaker 2: But still before you run out, go sorry, I got
Speaker 2: a sandwich Earlier.
Speaker 1: As you're getting out of the pool, you're like, will
Speaker 1: you hear me that sandwich?
Speaker 2: I have to dry off, and they're like, get chase
Speaker 2: you out with a rolling pin.
Speaker 3: Get it?
Speaker 1: Out of here. I bought a sandwitch. I am allowed
Speaker 1: to be here.
Speaker 2: I'm not done making the bread. That's why I'm showing
Speaker 2: you this rolling pin that when we had Jake Johansson
Speaker 2: on a decade.
Speaker 1: Ago, we shouldn't get him again.
Speaker 2: Remember how funny he was again and took this as
Speaker 2: an assignment to like, because that was when we actually
Speaker 2: picked up people at airport. Uh huh at airport.
Speaker 1: At the airport, we.
Speaker 2: Pick up that airport, take them to a dark alley.
Speaker 2: What country? It's many different countries, that's all, you know.
Speaker 2: I'm not alien and alienating a very high IQ by the.
Speaker 1: Way, Yeah, so much so that you could do three
Speaker 1: and four accents at once.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I can't finish a sentence. He just said sorry.
Speaker 2: I what did he say about coin? I had a pocket?
Speaker 2: I can't remember. It was so funny right away. And
Speaker 2: then he talked about when we dropped him off, his
Speaker 2: wife was gonna chase him out of the house with
Speaker 2: a rolling pin, which made us laugh so hard because
Speaker 2: that's like a reference from Andy Capp or some terrible
Speaker 2: comic strip. I don't know, just the idea of being
Speaker 2: chased with a rolling pin.
Speaker 3: I feel like that episode and if anyone cares, you
Speaker 3: should go find it and listen to it. It's that
Speaker 3: That's why I got into stand up, that kind of
Speaker 3: riffing where it feels like everyone's kind of in love
Speaker 3: with each other, Like the way he wants talking is
Speaker 3: like yes, yes, it's like it's that energy of like
Speaker 3: like the best first date of all time, but you're
Speaker 3: just all comics friends driving around but like loving each
Speaker 3: other's mind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard to I mean with this podcast has
Speaker 2: evolved into more of a well oiled machine. Where were
Speaker 2: you used to? We've had some big top names in
Speaker 2: here now, but back then we were giddy children. But
Speaker 2: we still get giddy and silly with a Bruce McCullough
Speaker 2: or someone that we just admire.
Speaker 3: So remember when he called us, Remember what did he say? Oh,
Speaker 3: my little weirdo.
Speaker 2: Children, my little weirdo babies, or I think it was
Speaker 2: weirdo children. Yeah, which, like I was like a pilot
Speaker 2: stamping wings on my little vest that I fly in
Speaker 2: my flying vest. Is that comedy, yeah, just the stamp
Speaker 2: of approval. Yes, But if someone calls you a baby
Speaker 2: or a child or a weirdo on their own, but
Speaker 2: from the mouth of mister Pajamas himself. That's just one
Speaker 2: of his online personas. Hi, mister Pajamas here, that's.
Speaker 1: Right when he kind of walks around like he's gonna say,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do a show in Toronto.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just a character solely based on the fact he
Speaker 2: puts on pajamas before recording. Uh. Yeah, we get very
Speaker 2: excited to riff. And it is that childhood thing, like
Speaker 2: at a sleepover with cool kids where everyone gets so
Speaker 2: hyper and excited, laughing and drinks too much caffeine. It's great,
Speaker 2: it's it's maybe it's the fact that I'm turning exactly
Speaker 2: one half of my life old today, but I've been yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be one hundred, and I just am
Speaker 2: a lot of memories, childhood memories of things like that,
Speaker 2: like parties, and I'm about to have a birthday party.
Speaker 2: I haven't the last time I had a birthday party.
Speaker 2: I invited the most hyper a group of boys that
Speaker 2: what I had in common with them is they'd sleep
Speaker 2: over and we'd draw pictures. So it was boys that
Speaker 2: like to calm there and draw very well, which if
Speaker 2: you could imagine, you put them all outside with a
Speaker 2: stick in a pinionta and they're it's just all a
Speaker 2: spectrum of ill behavior. And then these two sweet girls,
Speaker 2: Elise and Olivia, where my friends in school, and they're
Speaker 2: just nice, smart girls that were terrified they showed up
Speaker 2: at my party. I didn't think, like, oh, these were
Speaker 2: in fifth grade, it's totally normal to invite a group
Speaker 2: of hyper crazy boys. And then the smartest two girls
Speaker 2: who were all the photos were just them hiding by
Speaker 2: the fence and froving, red faced, lunatic wielding a bat,
Speaker 2: swinging at candy. And yeah, yeah, it's fourth or fifth grade,
Speaker 2: and you know that's the age where it's like clearly
Speaker 2: every girl figured out behavior in school and everything before
Speaker 2: the boys. We were all just like a couple of
Speaker 2: those kids probably still had some sort of a diaper on.
Speaker 2: But oh man, it was it. I think back on
Speaker 2: that because I remembered being embarrassed that I didn't curate
Speaker 2: the list more and invite more friends of theirs, maybe
Speaker 2: not just a random group of just eight kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. Well, and also doing co ed that
Speaker 1: you were a bit of a bit ahead of your.
Speaker 2: Time, right, Yeah, I did want everyone to know that
Speaker 2: there was a brag in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll brag for you. Yeah, yeah, you won't do it,
Speaker 1: I'll do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah I did. But because it backfired, and because Olivia
Speaker 2: and a Lease were uh, it's great. I remember their names.
Speaker 2: That's the thing. I'm remembering childhood things I hope to
Speaker 2: remember at some point last week or this year.
Speaker 1: But you know what, focus on what you can remember. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: do gus on a Lease? Focus on Olivia?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, sweet sweet girls that were terrified. And then
Speaker 2: the years after that, I'm like, okay, wild boys only,
Speaker 2: let's take.
Speaker 1: Our shirts off and go for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, set up the tripod we are wrestling or there.
Speaker 2: There'd be kids that didn't have a lot of other friends,
Speaker 2: but they saw me as a safe person. So I
Speaker 2: befriended kids with like emotional problems. And then I have
Speaker 2: a party and there's this kid. They my friends like
Speaker 2: wanted him to leave and it was time to sleep
Speaker 2: and he had a hysterical breakdown. Yeah, this kid, I can't.
Speaker 2: I do remember his name, but I don't. We don't
Speaker 2: need to say it first and last names. No, Well,
Speaker 2: you don't take that tone. You do it all the.
Speaker 3: Time, not when it's connected to having a nervous right right.
Speaker 2: Anyway, well, I think that was his name, but his pillow.
Speaker 2: Everyone was yelling at him. He's like, I will leave,
Speaker 2: knock it off. And then his pillow was close to
Speaker 2: the space heater and burst into flames. So now, and
Speaker 2: I remember my dad just coming down and there's a fire,
Speaker 2: a flaming pillow and he was just tossing kids out
Speaker 2: of the way of the pillow. Children were flying, and
Speaker 2: water was poured on the pillow and it was it
Speaker 2: was And then we all just went to sleep silently
Speaker 2: because we were all in trouble.
Speaker 1: In a smoky room. Just wait, did that get Was
Speaker 1: it his own pillow from home?
Speaker 2: Probably? Yeah, yeah, it was a bunch of kids, so
Speaker 2: hopefully it wasn't one of our Back then though pillows
Speaker 2: where you know you used him, You take the pillowcase.
Speaker 2: Often it's just been dipped in coffee somehow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just so gross.
Speaker 2: Now we know to buy new pillows every.
Speaker 1: Ten years and get the inner case and then the
Speaker 1: outer case, right, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're into we're conscious of microbes. I now have
Speaker 2: an air purifier. Multiple we have to think about what's
Speaker 2: going into us because if you get under a microscope,
Speaker 2: it's stuffed with six legs.
Speaker 1: I mean it's so if you get under a microscope,
Speaker 1: everything is a horrifying sci fi nightmare. Right, you know
Speaker 1: watch that habit.
Speaker 2: And if you're able to get physically under a microscope,
Speaker 2: Oh the damage that's done. Your Rick Marine, You've been
Speaker 2: shrunk your inner space.
Speaker 1: There's a we Got bad News for you. You're too small.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The original title of the Rick Branda's film We've
Speaker 2: Got Big News called You're Too Small, and then they
Speaker 2: did some spitballing.
Speaker 1: They said people aren't really getting what this is about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's one of those far fetched ideas that you
Speaker 2: wonder how how was this movie made? But I did
Speaker 2: watch Inner Space just for the Martin short of it.
Speaker 1: Right, it's so good.
Speaker 2: It holds up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good movie. It's a great movie, although it.
Speaker 3: Is a little claustrophobic where it's like he's inside a person.
Speaker 3: He's just kind of stuck inside, right short.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is you feel for him, you.
Speaker 1: Feel I don't want to be in there, I guess
Speaker 1: is my ultimate comment.
Speaker 2: But the cool you don't expect the special effects to
Speaker 2: be practically done like they when he's going into a heart,
Speaker 2: they actually built a heart like that is pumping. It's
Speaker 2: not just video from a monitor. Like all of the
Speaker 2: traveling through the body is the most amazing, like probably
Speaker 2: done on a tabletop, like all the effects. It's so
Speaker 2: cool and it's just one of those movies. Why I've
Speaker 2: been here? This is not I feel like I've been here?
Speaker 3: Should roll down the window so it doesn't smell like franchchise?
Speaker 2: Well, should we wrap wrap up this historic fifty year
Speaker 2: birthday episode?
Speaker 1: Chris, Happy Birthday?
Speaker 3: I would like to speak on behalf of the whole
Speaker 3: audience and say that we appreciate you and we love
Speaker 3: you and.
Speaker 1: Whether you are or are not like a screensaver? Is
Speaker 1: that what he said?
Speaker 3: Yes, you're a hilarious, delightful man that should live at
Speaker 3: least twenty more years.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Thanks, yay, that's my favorite. It had the tone
Speaker 2: of vopeful, but twenty thank you, twenty would be great, right,
Speaker 2: so much, thank you. It's been a great birthday.
Speaker 3: Ry birthday, and you've been listening to do you need
Speaker 3: a ride?
Speaker 1: Dyn Ar?
Speaker 2: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.
Speaker 2: Mixed by Edson Choy, our.
Speaker 1: Talent booker is Patrick Cootner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgareth, artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 3: podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 2: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Oh You're welcome.
Speaker 2: We flipped. We flipped.
Speaker 1: We flipped the script after fourteen years