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Speaker 1: What's up? What's up? It is lip service on Angela. Yee,

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Speaker 1: I'm stopping in Santiago. I'm Lauria and we have docting

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Speaker 1: to do here dot to kend go Jasper and Kanan

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Speaker 1: Jasper are here with that's what's up, guys, just to

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Speaker 1: get some contexts. These are the people I called during

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Speaker 1: asking when things are above me, I have to call

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Speaker 1: these guys to step in. And you know, especially right

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Speaker 1: now with coronavirus, is a lot of things going on.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people are at home dealing with things

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Speaker 1: they've never had to deal with before. You know. Just recently,

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Speaker 1: I had a woman crawling to the show that's going

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Speaker 1: through a breakup. Found out her husband had a side

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Speaker 1: a piece and she was really going through it. So

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Speaker 1: people are discovering all kinds of things right now, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And he discovered He's gonna discover some things too, right, Wait,

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Speaker 1: discover more than that. You're gonna You're gonna discover that.

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Speaker 1: You know, he ain't the only one. There's always two

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Speaker 1: sides of the stories. That's why you gotta hear it all.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes people tell you a lot of things but

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Speaker 1: that they didn't mention in the first go around and

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Speaker 1: they caught up in their feelings. It's all hid it.

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Speaker 1: When you settle them down, the truth really comes out. Wow. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, it is a tough time for relationships right now.

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Speaker 1: We've been hearing that people are in the house with

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Speaker 1: each other discovering they don't lucky to each other as

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Speaker 1: much when they have to spend so much time together.

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Speaker 1: So should people be considering breaking up or is this

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Speaker 1: something where you know you kind of should wait until

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Speaker 1: this pandemic is over with all this addage, stress and anxiety. Wow,

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Speaker 1: well some people shouldn't. Some people really knew they should

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Speaker 1: have broke up a long time ago, right, So you

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Speaker 1: know this is just you know, exacerbating the situation that

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Speaker 1: already existed, right, and it's just making it worse. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, obviously things are at a stand still. So

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Speaker 1: the formality of a breakup or divorce or leaving separation, Um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I can't really go through you can't commit

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Speaker 1: to something like that. But obviously people have to identify

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Speaker 1: and decide what kind of relationship we're gonna have moving forward,

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Speaker 1: right and and hopefully having honest discussion about what type

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Speaker 1: of relationship we're gonna have moving forward, is this gonna

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Speaker 1: be uh you know, I'm we're gonna sleep in separate

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Speaker 1: bedrooms type of situation right on some real you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not just gonna say black people ship because because

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Speaker 1: other people do it too. Real, Yeah, other people do

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Speaker 1: it too like you know, look, personal disclosure. My mom's

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Speaker 1: and pops with beaving. My Pop's built the whole sheep

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Speaker 1: rock wall at one point up stairs. Really talk right now.

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Speaker 1: They figured it out. You know, it's really talk. So like,

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Speaker 1: you know, people have to determine. Okay, we need to

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Speaker 1: set some guidelines about what we're gonna do, especially if

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Speaker 1: they're children involved like that, children's finances, property, all kinds

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Speaker 1: of things are involved. How are we gonna manage through

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Speaker 1: this without us being in here arguing every five seconds,

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Speaker 1: being very you know, verbally aggressive and potentially physically aggressive

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Speaker 1: towards each other. I'm sorry, I got to get a

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Speaker 1: little you know, good energy spreading around here. This ship

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Speaker 1: is starting to get a little thick. Man talking about

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Speaker 1: ship that I pops then when he's growing up, you're

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Speaker 1: giving me bad trauma right now, my bad Kate. But

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Speaker 1: I will say right now like even for like like

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Speaker 1: for me, I live alone, and I have family that

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Speaker 1: lives close to me, and like, um like saying my

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Speaker 1: mother shall come by, and like I love my mom.

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Speaker 1: But like even in this space and time, it's like

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Speaker 1: like you said, and it's like so much like tension,

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Speaker 1: so much anxiety that like even I get to the

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Speaker 1: place where I'm like I don't want nobody around me.

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Speaker 1: But then when you're alone, you're like, damn my mo

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Speaker 1: by myself. So it is like a confusing time right now,

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Speaker 1: and then it's still scary because we're losing people and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. So like say you are up underneath

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Speaker 1: somebody twenty four seven, right, what do y'all think is

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Speaker 1: a good thing? Um, that you could do together to

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Speaker 1: kind of get through it? Because technically you are going

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Speaker 1: through the same thing together and it's it may be

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Speaker 1: something small that's making it tick, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: But is there something that like I don't know if

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Speaker 1: it's just like sitting there, I'm talking maybe playing a

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Speaker 1: game or like something that you could kind of like

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Speaker 1: recommend would be good for something watch some free Porne

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Speaker 1: of course would say, is that together or separate? Is

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Speaker 1: the poem watching together? Right? What are we doing? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: But what's better. Yeah, well but that might that might

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Speaker 1: turn into an argument too, because she might not like

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Speaker 1: the poem. You try to watch right right? You like

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Speaker 1: the Spanish girl else high, you know, you put it

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Speaker 1: on you and you're watch on your phone. I watching

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Speaker 1: my phone. I feel like, um, I feel like even

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Speaker 1: in this time because I was just I was just

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Speaker 1: with my man, and I feel like in this time,

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Speaker 1: you just give each other space, like let him go

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Speaker 1: do his thing in the house and go do your

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Speaker 1: thing in the house and meet in the middle. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's considered. That, that's considering if you have space. That

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Speaker 1: depends on you know, some people may live in a

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Speaker 1: one bedroom apartment. Some people may live in the studio.

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Speaker 1: So that's come on here, it's hard, but go ahead,

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Speaker 1: hold on. The thing is this containment when none of

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Speaker 1: us are meant for containment. That's a that's a an

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Speaker 1: adjustment that we all have to make, period, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. So this is gonna definitely be some

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Speaker 1: some hurdles and some hiccups involved. Institute some patients, a

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Speaker 1: little more patients. But you do need to separate it. Nope,

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Speaker 1: body said you can't go outside, right, You can take

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Speaker 1: a walk you're just not supposed to be interacting with

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Speaker 1: people and stuff like that. Yeah, But the other the

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Speaker 1: other part of that that you lose, right, and and

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Speaker 1: this is whether in a we're in a pandemic or not. Right.

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Speaker 1: A valuable lesson of this is considering someone other than yourself, right,

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Speaker 1: engaging in and thought and activities that are somewhat selfless.

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Speaker 1: Right and it and it originates with the idea that

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Speaker 1: the physical distancing and the the tracking of who you're

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Speaker 1: around is of course for yourself, but also considering the

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Speaker 1: other people who are in your circle. Because I may

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Speaker 1: be someone who contracts this and maybe asymptomatic. I may

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Speaker 1: get around someone like a parent or a sibling or

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Speaker 1: an extended relative who has a pre existing condition who

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Speaker 1: will respond to this virus in a vastly different way. So,

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Speaker 1: on the face of it, let's make that a more

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Speaker 1: general um practice in a time of intense anxiety and

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Speaker 1: and fear and trepidation for people, consider other people. Well,

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, what what if you're okay, let's

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Speaker 1: just say you're significant other cheats on you, you find

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Speaker 1: out and he comes back in the house, What should

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Speaker 1: you do? I would say? Anyway, I would still say

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Speaker 1: consider him hold on, hold on, hold on? Who said

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Speaker 1: bad advices? Hey, listen to the worst vices advice? So

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Speaker 1: I don't do that. I ain't built for that hour.

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Speaker 1: So I also, however, I think that there is some

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Speaker 1: consideration given to the activity right now. I'm not saying

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Speaker 1: be you know, listen, don't be a bo zone. Okay. However,

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Speaker 1: what you also have to understand is that people's circumstances

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Speaker 1: are different. Right, So what I advised people to do

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Speaker 1: number one, Right, here's what people do and they go wrong.

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Speaker 1: Your spouse, you're significant of that's cheating on you. You

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Speaker 1: know what you do. You're running. You tell everybody, right,

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Speaker 1: you call your you calling, you tell your girlfriend. That's

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Speaker 1: what people do, right. I can't believe. I can't believe

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Speaker 1: what this this b did to me. Right now, what

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Speaker 1: you do is you back yourself in the corner. You

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Speaker 1: don't create space or an opportunity to say, hey, I

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Speaker 1: may want to work this out. Now I have him

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Speaker 1: or her around the same people that I just told

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Speaker 1: that they did me dirty, And now there's some there's

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Speaker 1: some animosity that's going on or some some tension. Right,

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Speaker 1: certain things are not for everybody's consumption. It's not everybody's business. No, seriously,

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Speaker 1: not to interrupt, Like I don't tell my friends when

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Speaker 1: my man cheats on me until like months later they're like,

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Speaker 1: really happens? Because I don't want my friends to look

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Speaker 1: at my man like he's an asshole, because I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: stay with him anyway. You know what I feel like

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Speaker 1: when I tell someone is when I decide I'm really

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Speaker 1: gonna know when it's done, you know, if I and

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Speaker 1: then that's when I'll tell everyone, because I know at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, I want myself to feel

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Speaker 1: so crazy that like I can't go back, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. The only thing you could do is

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Speaker 1: you see somebody, Right, that's when you go and the

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Speaker 1: next access out. But real talk, but real talk. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: you gotta see you gotta speak to somebody who can

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Speaker 1: help you better understand your counterparts mindset, not somebody who

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Speaker 1: necessarily trying to fuck you, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: for somebody who has your best interest at heart and

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Speaker 1: who could be somewhat unbiased, right, so and bad advice.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's sometimes it helps you see something in

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Speaker 1: a different way. What do you do, like like honestly,

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Speaker 1: if I got an issue, if I have an issue

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Speaker 1: with my lady, I'm not asking my boy about it

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Speaker 1: because he doesn't know. He doesn't have her type of

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Speaker 1: mindset you have. If you want advice on a woman,

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Speaker 1: more times than not, you should ask a woman who

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Speaker 1: has some No. No, no, no no, because you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. I gotta be honest as a as

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Speaker 1: a woman. I would be so mad if my man

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Speaker 1: want to ask another woman that wasn't his sister or right,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's that's a tough one because you know, like,

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Speaker 1: for instance, right, I have a really good friend who

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Speaker 1: I grew up with, went to school with, and he

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Speaker 1: would always ask me for advice on his girlfriend who

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Speaker 1: became his fiance. But they broke up. But she got

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Speaker 1: really mad about it when she found out, and she

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Speaker 1: hated the fact that I knew a lot of his business.

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Speaker 1: Me and him never have dealt with each other at all. Never.

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Speaker 1: He actually was when I was younger and my best

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Speaker 1: friend's boyfriend, so we were all like family. But that

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Speaker 1: says more about her, says more about her. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: would recommend a professional. Right, let's if we're gonna get

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Speaker 1: a safe space, let's get an objective person that doesn't

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Speaker 1: know anybody, right, and if they're good professional, what they're

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Speaker 1: not gonna do is uh kind of tell you what

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Speaker 1: decision you need to make. They're gonna allow you to

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Speaker 1: find the decision that you you need to make on

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Speaker 1: your own right and then support whatever decision that you make,

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Speaker 1: and then help you spell out the pros and cons

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Speaker 1: of what whatever decision you decide. Yeah, but that there's

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Speaker 1: some there's some nuances in between there that you know,

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Speaker 1: the lions can get blurred with the professional because the

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Speaker 1: professional might not have the personal experience of your situation,

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Speaker 1: the person who never been in a relationship or can't

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Speaker 1: understand the contextual you know, nuances that then it would

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Speaker 1: be difficult for them to give you some backstory. You

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Speaker 1: don't know that person personally, like like, but if you ask,

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Speaker 1: if you asked, let's say our mother, or let's say

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Speaker 1: one of our cousins, a female cousins who had some

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Speaker 1: experience there and they know both parties, she can give

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Speaker 1: you an idea of a woman's mindset to some degree.

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Speaker 1: Or if you have a real close friend, as like

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Speaker 1: Angela said, they're not romantically involved, so he can be

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Speaker 1: like Yo, I know this is what he said, but

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Speaker 1: this is what he that's what he meant, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. You gotta put your own insecurities aside sometimes, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you also have to understand that we talked about feelings, like,

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Speaker 1: so we're talking about we talk about feelings and emotions, right,

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Speaker 1: So I think that that professional. Again, if they're good,

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Speaker 1: they should have a good grasp of the discussion about emotions,

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Speaker 1: feelings and the management of those, right, Because even those nuances,

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Speaker 1: what we're talking about is how this made me feel

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Speaker 1: your decision made me feel this way, right, and it

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Speaker 1: meant itself to a lack of trust, you know, some

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Speaker 1: aggressive thought towards you, right, all of those things. So

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Speaker 1: even with those nuances, right, I may not fully understand

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Speaker 1: the scope of it, but what I do understand is, hey,

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Speaker 1: what are you feeling. Let's work through those feelings. How

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Speaker 1: do you feel as it pertains to this decision versus

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Speaker 1: that decision? And what's the what's the pushback there? Right?

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Speaker 1: Because keep it, you know, because there are no right

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Speaker 1: there's no rules. Right. People people always come with the

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Speaker 1: idea like you know, people always say if if he

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Speaker 1: or she did this to me, I'm leaving like I'm leaving. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like miss me with all right, case is different.

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Speaker 1: What do you think about virtually cheating right now? Let's

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Speaker 1: just say everybody's stuck in the house. You know, they're bored,

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Speaker 1: they're not going outside. But people might be online having

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Speaker 1: conversations with people or FaceTime and things like that. I

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Speaker 1: asked this question. If you saw your dude's phone and

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Speaker 1: he was texting somebody, how would you feel that. I

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Speaker 1: feel like virtual cheating. Cheating is the problem before all

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Speaker 1: of the social distancing, like I don't, I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't want my man talking to anybody on the internet,

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Speaker 1: on the text all of that. I feel like it's cheating.

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Speaker 1: Even if you don't see them, there's something that I'm

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Speaker 1: not supposed to see. You're cheating on me. I feel

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Speaker 1: like it's increased though it has right because a lot

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Speaker 1: of people are online more because they have nothing else

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Speaker 1: to do. A lot of people are joining only fans

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that. It's true, thinks that I do

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Speaker 1: feel like that's that's still cheating to me. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's just making it. Hold on, listen. If there's been

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Speaker 1: a few people I thought about killing but I ain't killing.

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Speaker 1: Does that make me a murderer? That makes you a

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Speaker 1: murderous mind, doesn't make you okay? But yeah, but if

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Speaker 1: you're still using your words, so that still could be

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Speaker 1: a physical connection, I mean right now, but you can

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Speaker 1: you can make someone fall in love with words. You

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Speaker 1: can't really tell someone with words, but you can make

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Speaker 1: somebody fall in love with you with words. You ain't

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Speaker 1: got the fund them and touch them. But I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, Tomato, I'm gonna talk a little, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: talking a little different terms. I think that it's all

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Speaker 1: in what they're in the bounds of your relationship, right,

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Speaker 1: what y'all what y'all making right? Because there are people

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Speaker 1: out here with that have open relationships. There are people

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Speaker 1: that have virtual open relationships where they might allow for

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Speaker 1: them mate to get on upon live sight and engage

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Speaker 1: somebody or talk to them and in that manner. So

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Speaker 1: it's all within the boundaries of what you determine. Again,

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Speaker 1: there aren't any rules, right. We come with these strict

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Speaker 1: as Western cultures, cultural rules of relationships, and that's why

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Speaker 1: our divorce rate is over six. And then you go

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Speaker 1: to the Eastern part of the world and their divorce

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Speaker 1: rates vastly different because they put different They put a

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Speaker 1: different emphasis on sex and relationships and communications. A friend

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Speaker 1: of mine, she has you know, she works hard. She

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Speaker 1: works maybe fifty sixty hours a week. She works hard.

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Speaker 1: And now she's working from home. But before that, she

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Speaker 1: allowed her man to be on all those sites just

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Speaker 1: to entertain himself while she was at work because he

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Speaker 1: doesn't have a job, so so she didn't mind that

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Speaker 1: he would be on these sites because she felt like

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Speaker 1: he's not meeting them, so whatever. So she was okay

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Speaker 1: with that, and I found that totally weird. Right and

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Speaker 1: because he doesn't pay for those sites with her money,

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Speaker 1: right exactly. Now, let me ask you this. Let's talk

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Speaker 1: about sex drive right while you're at home. Let's just

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Speaker 1: say now we're home a whole lot more. You know,

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Speaker 1: my man wants to have sex all the time. I

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Speaker 1: don't necessarily feel like it. What should we be doing

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Speaker 1: to have that balance? Because sometimes we do it, we

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Speaker 1: don't feel like it. We feel like if he's asking,

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Speaker 1: we should give in, or sometimes we're like no, I

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Speaker 1: just don't feel like it in his feelings and hurt.

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Speaker 1: Where do you get that balance? I've never been in

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Speaker 1: a position where a man ever asked me for sex,

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Speaker 1: So I can't answer sex. Well, you go, wow, is

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Speaker 1: that what we're doing? Yeah, but what would y'all like

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Speaker 1: to hear? Let's look at what works for you? Is

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Speaker 1: what is what happens right, more of than than not,

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Speaker 1: more of than than not. What we come to find

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Speaker 1: out is that women go to the same college when

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Speaker 1: it comes to sex and sexual activity. They tend to

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Speaker 1: use sex as a weapon, right and in many absolutely,

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Speaker 1: in many forms, which means that you said you never

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Speaker 1: heard that. Yeah, yeah, I bet you know so. So

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Speaker 1: I think that, like most men are having a sexual

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Speaker 1: thought every seven seconds, right, So it's not uncommon for

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Speaker 1: men's sex drive to to to to be at a

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Speaker 1: consistent well relatively healthy men to have a sex drive

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Speaker 1: that is consistent, right, a baseline sort of consistency to it.

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Speaker 1: Because men don't engage in or don't have as many

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Speaker 1: physical changes as women do, um that will impact their

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Speaker 1: drive at different times, right, like close to menopause. Older

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Speaker 1: women will find themselves having their sex drive people as

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Speaker 1: they get closer to that that reproductive change so to speak. Right,

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Speaker 1: So we don't have those changes. However, what we end

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Speaker 1: up with is it being utilized as a tool to

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Speaker 1: maybe say, hey, listen, if you want to do this,

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Speaker 1: or I'm going to punish you in that respect because

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Speaker 1: you're not acting right clean like or like you know.

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Speaker 1: I think that that's always the source of conflict in relationships, sex, finances, communication, right,

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Speaker 1: we could we could stick those in the ground. There's

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Speaker 1: always gonna be beef about sex, right because there isn't.

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Speaker 1: There aren't many times where those drives physiological will matching,

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Speaker 1: will match each other, right, So that's just more of

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Speaker 1: a science issue. But I think that again in relationships,

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Speaker 1: there's this conversation and communication that had to be had,

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Speaker 1: and there's some deals that might need to be made.

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Speaker 1: Listen to seven days in the week, Are we gonna

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Speaker 1: agree to have sex? To three days? Four days? Like?

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Speaker 1: How we doing this? Can we commit to it? Right?

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Speaker 1: Is that's something that we can commit to and the

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Speaker 1: weeks that we do fall off? You know, let's not

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Speaker 1: beef about it because this week maybe we get it

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Speaker 1: four or five times and this week we only did it.

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Speaker 1: Was I never want to have to have that conversation. See,

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Speaker 1: it's like this conversation helps to you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: because you know, we have our ideas or different ideas

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Speaker 1: about sex. Some of it could be very impulsive, you know.

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Speaker 1: You know I want to get in. I just want

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Speaker 1: to I just want to quick right now. Yeah I'm

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Speaker 1: ashamed if you can't in, but ahead, right right right

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Speaker 1: right out quick. But but hearing, hearing your perspective helps

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Speaker 1: us understand certain things too. It's like, Yo, look, I

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Speaker 1: want me to tell you sometimes listen, sometimes I want

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Speaker 1: to be I want to be wooed into this, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, more than that. The mindset,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, be set the temperament around

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Speaker 1: here a little bit, set the atmosphere a little bit.

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Speaker 1: But because I'm just not a destination for you like that,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I have a whole lot

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Speaker 1: of things that allowed me to react to you too.

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Speaker 1: That's so empower him be like, Yo, there's some things

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Speaker 1: that you can control here too. It's like y'all do

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Speaker 1: y'all have the power of seduction and things of that nature.

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Speaker 1: Let us know that we got some things that could

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Speaker 1: help influence you too that you would like. Yeah, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't like the way you taste from the port.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he just tas you. I'm not talking about ye,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about that. It could be the case of

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Speaker 1: any man. You watch them. They don't be what they

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Speaker 1: eat all the time. Sometimes it's hey, listen, no pineapples,

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Speaker 1: gott gotta get your pH balance right. Drink some malcalin water.

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Speaker 1: Do that that works. That that's work from men as

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00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: well as women. Yeah. I don't know about the pineapple ship.

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Speaker 1: But the other day, me and my man we was

365
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Speaker 1: eating sour past kids and I sucked his dick and

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Speaker 1: I swear to god, it tastes like sour past kids.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing. That probably stuck in here too. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I like listen though, listen it kind of speaks to

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Speaker 1: the point, right men, men. A lot of men probably

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Speaker 1: won't say this, but they want to be wooed too,

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Speaker 1: right like and and and a lot of that is

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Speaker 1: about the idea that you know, more often than not,

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Speaker 1: on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, the pendulum is is swung in

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Speaker 1: a way where women expect for men to do something

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Speaker 1: for them. Right, it's our anniversary. What you're gonna do

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Speaker 1: for us on our anniversary? Well day made it bothe

377
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: It's both by anniversary, right, like we didn't. I didn't

378
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Speaker 1: just marry you. You didn't just like we married each other.

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Speaker 1: So let's figure out a way to meet in the

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Speaker 1: middle and woo each other and du you know they

381
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Speaker 1: want to. You know, some will say, okay, I gotta

382
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Speaker 1: mat cheese. Mo. I ain't feeling that, Like, yeah, there's

383
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Speaker 1: some there's some thugs out your singing Michael Jackson too,

384
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Speaker 1: like knocking on, getting some sexy, geting some sexy loinger

385
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Speaker 1: and fingure him. I don't know, we just got we

386
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Speaker 1: just got nothing. You let me tell us, like what's

387
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: the best guests? I haven't got? Because have you ever

388
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 1: had a situation where you're woude and like when was

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Speaker 1: the best? Like how can you describe it? I feel

390
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Speaker 1: like I'm the total opposite, Like I don't expect for

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Speaker 1: my man to do a lot for me for my

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Speaker 1: birthday or for holidays. I like to be the ones

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Speaker 1: to surprise him, like look, I got you this. Like

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Speaker 1: I'll buy whoever I'm dating, I'll buy them a Father's

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Speaker 1: Day gift, even if they're not a father. What yeah,

396
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 1: because he's n daddy. So it's like, let's look, baby,

397
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 1: his Father's Days is my daddy? I bore you a girl.

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Speaker 1: It's actually I got something to tell you. Yes, to

399
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 1: find out would be like really technically, kis, I just

400
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 1: didn't want to say anything. I got to break it

401
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 1: to you. We talked about wooing like but in how

402
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: to please each other and really set the temperament. You know,

403
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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are going through anxiety

404
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 1: right now. Right anxiety is heightened because the unknown. It's

405
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: a number of reasons, but the unknown like the untimely deaths.

406
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 1: The country is in a frenzy and stuff like that,

407
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,880
Speaker 1: So we can't ignore that that's affecting our overall behavior,

408
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. The paranoia is at all

409
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: time high and we're ingesting a lot of this, so

410
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 1: it's coming out in different ways, you know what I mean? Um,

411
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Speaker 1: how are you? How are y'all dealing with some of

412
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: the anxieties or the changes in your own house right now?

413
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: Like as as far as lead? Yeah, me, I'm a

414
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Speaker 1: person who I always have anxiety. Um, I always say this,

415
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: and I know you're probably tired of hearing me say this,

416
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 1: Like I'm a master social distancer even before this, but

417
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Speaker 1: I have to say, being like that gives you anxiety.

418
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: When you go out in the world, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, Like, when you're around people, it gives you,

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Speaker 1: it makes you paranoid, like you're always looking over your

421
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: shoulders from you know, isolating yourself so much. So I

422
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Speaker 1: just feel like I really hope that people don't come

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Speaker 1: out like that, like come out like me worried to

424
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 1: be around people because I can't lie. I naturally have anxiety,

425
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: but this is giving me more anxiety and not even worried,

426
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: just uncomfortable sometimes. Yeah, that's why people drink, I feel

427
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,439
Speaker 1: like when they're in certain areas, And that's why, you

428
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 1: know what I mean, because it is like we have

429
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: come to a point of time where I think a

430
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 1: lot of people have kind of isolated themselves, like you said,

431
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: even before this, so then when you do get around

432
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 1: each other, it's kind of like almost make you stick

433
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: to your stomach because you're like, oh my god. People

434
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: everywhere like, oh my god, yeah, but you don't like

435
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: and I just felt like a lot I see a

436
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 1: lot more people talking about that anxiety and maybe now

437
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: they just have a word for it. But no, I

438
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: mean as far as beef people that maybe they didn't

439
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: know the word for it is what I mean. So

440
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: maybe now I'm seeing it a lot more because they

441
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: now know what that means and they're putting two and

442
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: two together. But I do think like you have to

443
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 1: take a moment, like I think what y'all said going

444
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: for walks and stuff like that. Really, don't you know

445
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 1: what I do a lot to I cook, so like

446
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 1: even like making new things like get doing new recipes

447
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: or something about that that kind of like you know,

448
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 1: it brings something out of me, like different, I know what,

449
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 1: kind of whatever. But it makes me happy a little therapeutic, yeah, therapy.

450
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: You know. What I found that has made me relaxed

451
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 1: a little more, which is good for me because I

452
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 1: probably should have been doing this is like X me no,

453
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: but no. But what I find is um, you know,

454
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 1: like staying busy in the house cleaning up or um.

455
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: You know, even even sitting down and praying. I know

456
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: it sounds crazy. I pray out loud, and it sounds

457
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 1: like I'm talking to myself, But I pray out loud

458
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 1: and I try to be quiet and meditate, and I'm

459
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. It does make me feel calm. It

460
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: makes me feel a little more relaxed myself I've been

461
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: just making sure my diet is better. So I juice

462
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 1: every single day, and that definitely helps. What you put

463
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 1: in your body helps you mental. That always felt like

464
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: that and definitely, like you said, Larry, I make sure

465
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 1: that if I haven't been outside in a while and

466
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 1: the sun is out, I go on my back. All right,

467
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 1: I'll go for a walk. I just make sure that

468
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: I do those things, and I stay in contact with people.

469
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,479
Speaker 1: Be a text message, just check in, say what's up,

470
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: you know, maybe call people. We've been doing face timing

471
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: and things like that, so I'm not just connected. See,

472
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: I find myself getting aggravated lately when my phone goes off,

473
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 1: and I know that's kind of like I'm trying to

474
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: get out of that because I think it's because I've

475
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,959
Speaker 1: been working so much. Since we just work, yeah, like

476
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: and I know you you can't agree. Like, since we've

477
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 1: been home, I feel like more people have been asking

478
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: for interviews or for because they feel like, oh, well,

479
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 1: you're just home, doing you anything? Yeah, And I'm like,

480
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 1: I'm still working my full time job and two podcast

481
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But people don't think of that.

482
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: So every time my phone has been going off lately

483
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: Now I thought it's asking for money, but it seems

484
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: like it's always somebody asking me to do something or

485
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 1: for something. So now it kind of aggravates me to

486
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: the point where Saturday Antono's because she tried to call me,

487
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: I completely have my phone, like, do not disturb everything,

488
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: my messages, everything, like you can't tack me, because that

489
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: was also giving me, well, look at this, look at

490
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: the flips side of that. There are some people who

491
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: don't get a call at all, right, and I think

492
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: and and loneliness, and loneliness can lead to depression, you

493
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And like, right now, a lot

494
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: of the calls and can they all tell you the

495
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: suicide I thought rate and the suicide rate is is

496
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: heightened right now because now you have a highway for

497
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: that anxiety to take another route, for that depression to

498
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: take another route, because now you don't even get a

499
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,760
Speaker 1: chance to go, even if it was to go to

500
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 1: your local Starbucks. And that one person that you've seen

501
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: every day, you know, that becomes a part of your life.

502
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: Now that's removed. You realize you go to your you

503
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: go to your apartment building or your your home, and

504
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: you're like Damn. I really don't even know my neighbors

505
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: like that. But I could be dead in here for

506
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 1: two days and nobody just say nothing. You know what.

507
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: The other part of that that is that situational depression, situation,

508
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: situational anxiety right is upon us, right because people are

509
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: in financial peril. Right. So if if I'm stuck in

510
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: the house financially, you know, financially, I'm I'm losing. I'm

511
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 1: having issues with the stimulus, unemployment is not coming fast enough.

512
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 1: That's still not enough to cover my bills, right. Um, situationally,

513
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm experiencing things that I didn't expect to experience or

514
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: and or I've never experienced before, right, and now I

515
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: can't do anything about it. There's not an active process

516
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: that I can engage in to help alleviate some of

517
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 1: that stress and anxiety. Right. So, individuals who okay, I'm

518
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: I'm I'm kind of walking my life and things are

519
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 1: going well. Now I kind of been smacked in the

520
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: face with something that I can't control. We're not getting

521
00:30:55,000 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: good answers about when things are gonna change, right all day. So,

522
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: now you know, I don't have a coping mechanism for that.

523
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: I've never had to deal with it. I don't know

524
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: how to cope with it, right, So what do I do?

525
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: You know, my thoughts are running rampant. I don't know

526
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: where I go from here? Right, How do I come

527
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: out of this? Well, maybe the easiest thing for me

528
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: to do is not exist anymore? Right, And and those

529
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: become soft ideas that become very hard, and they're not

530
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 1: just fleeting ideas that people have. Right. And that's already

531
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 1: on top of the people who already have those thoughts

532
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: on a consistent basis that they're fighting right because they

533
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: walk this earth feeling like nobody really cares if I'm

534
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: here or not. Maybe I'm someone that nobody calls and

535
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: they check up on. So that's a very real circumstance, right,

536
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,120
Speaker 1: How my my, my girls? Who are I thought was

537
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: my girls? Damn they ain't really my girls like that?

538
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: My my dudes that maybe he really my dudes like

539
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 1: dude like that? You know what I'm saying. So it

540
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: could get really, really tough because we're not Loneliness and

541
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 1: depression sets in the truth. Your truth approaches you very

542
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: very fast. And that's that's a horrible feeling when you

543
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 1: have no idea how to deal with it. And that's

544
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: why it's important to check up on people who you

545
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: know aren't buy the You know, that's a really selfless

546
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: thing to do, Like let me just drop her message.

547
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: I haven't spoke to her in a minute, Like, you know,

548
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 1: I have a friend that's going through a really tough

549
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 1: divorce right now, and so I've been making sure I like,

550
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: hey girl, how are you doing, and just checking in

551
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: and just kicking with her, just because I know this

552
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 1: is not an easy time to have to go through something. Now,

553
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: I have what working on me and because you know

554
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: I did check on you also never I just tell me,

555
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: you can tell me you have me ill do not

556
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: to serve. I had anybody one last question before we

557
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: go for doc in the dude, um, so somebody emailed

558
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: this in. My wife and I have been together for

559
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: almost five years, and when we got together, she was

560
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 1: thick in all the right places and somewhat toned, flat stomach, etcetera.

561
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 1: Nash has gained almost a hundred pounds and when I

562
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 1: suggests better eating habits are just going for a walk,

563
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: she instantly gets angry and says I shouldn't care. I

564
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: love and care about my wife, So what should I do?

565
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: And let's keep it real. Right now people are oh man,

566
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: and they're gaining weight. Look, look, let's let's keep it real.

567
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: The fact is that, look, you, he didn't marry you

568
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,959
Speaker 1: a hundred pounds. That's a whole another person. He did

569
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: not marry that, right, So if that's something you can control,

570
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: then it's up to you the control because first of all,

571
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: marriage is a contract between two people in the state,

572
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: it's a contract. So the terms in this contract too, right,

573
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: So if you're not living up to some of those

574
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: terms or they can't be amended, then that contract should

575
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: be broken. It can be broken. I feel like she's

576
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: getting angry. She's also getting angry because she probably knows

577
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 1: she probably wants to lose the weight, and maybe she

578
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: doesn't have a motivation. That's probably why she's getting angry,

579
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: not because she's just mad at him, but she's like,

580
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 1: yes to love me for who I am. You shouldn't care,

581
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: she said, you shouldn't care, And that's not true, but

582
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 1: that's what her words were. She said at the end

583
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: of I think that we're I think that that's where

584
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 1: kind of real and fantasy, right, don't go with each other. Right,

585
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: And this is a conversation that me and Kane to

586
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 1: have and I have with people and couples all the time. Right,

587
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: this idea that you know through sickness and health, right

588
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: that for better for worse, Right, we get all that obviously. However,

589
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 1: the reality is is that there are times when people's

590
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 1: attraction to each other changes, right, because we we we change, right,

591
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 1: The things that we enjoy may change over time. Right,

592
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 1: And if there are things that are within your control, right,

593
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: and there's a conversation to be had about it, it's

594
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: not it's not necessarily superficial. Right, it's just the way

595
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: that I feel. These are my thoughts. You can you

596
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 1: can label them whatever you want. But as Kinga said, listen,

597
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 1: we're in a relationship there, and there's a certain level

598
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: that we need to maintain for our health. Number One,

599
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: you gain a hundred pounds, that's not healthy. You're not

600
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: practicing you know, good health at all. That's number one.

601
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: Number Two, if I'm encouraging you to engage in a

602
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 1: different practice and you're not accepting of it, then we

603
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: need to identify what it's gonna take for you to

604
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: be accepting of it. Maybe I'm not the person that

605
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:51,240
Speaker 1: should be the messages. Maybe we should seek out some

606
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 1: some assistance and some and some support in a different ways,

607
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 1: like why didn't you say like I would have been like,

608
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: come on, I'm gonna tell you why. I'm gonna tell

609
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 1: you why. Your mind is more powerful than you could

610
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: possibly imagine in this current state. Right if your mind

611
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: is telling you to do certain things, like you should eat,

612
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: then you will eat if you and vice versa. If

613
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 1: your mind is telling we have somebody very close to

614
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 1: us that had a very bad um illness and it

615
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,320
Speaker 1: became very painful for her to eat, so her mind

616
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 1: told her it's too painful to eat, so she wasn't eating.

617
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,280
Speaker 1: In a short amount of time, she lost an enormous

618
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 1: amount of weight. You know what I mean, But you

619
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 1: know your mind. If you don't, if you're not able

620
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: to engauge and have some degree of understanding of what's

621
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: going on in your mindset, then it can easily happen.

622
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: One hundred pounds, two hundred pounds. Nobody just imagined the

623
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: game we see those I don't want to add mind

624
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,439
Speaker 1: two cents into this. This is why I tell man

625
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: all the time, don't marry a girl until she's in

626
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 1: her thirties, because you know she looks well. There's other

627
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: factors to people have child. Let's me get sick, you

628
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: know what I mean, unless you get sick. But that

629
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: people people deal with things mentally, sometimes physically. There's things

630
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,919
Speaker 1: that might make you getting way. Sometimes there's medications that

631
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: Fred and their thirties bro Man spread as well, but

632
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 1: they spread nine. I don't know a man by. They

633
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 1: got a man by. They gotta listen. At the end

634
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 1: of the day, you gotta have a conversation, right, it all,

635
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 1: it all stems from all other communication all we have

636
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 1: and about what's going on. You might have some physical

637
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: issues that are lending that that lends itself to you

638
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 1: gaining a significant amount of weight, And I understand that, right,

639
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 1: and I'm willing to support you and help you with that.

640
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 1: But if you have home, eating Big Max and ship

641
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: all day, right, and we need to have a conversation

642
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: about what happens next, right, And I'm entitled to have

643
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,959
Speaker 1: a feeling and an opinion. You may not like it,

644
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 1: like we are in the age of I'm not allowed

645
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: to have an opinion, right, and and that impacts everything

646
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 1: that we do. I have an opinion. I make a statement.

647
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: Now you want to shame me for it personally? Right,

648
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 1: social media is it's a landline of that ship. I

649
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,359
Speaker 1: put some out there, right, somebody has an opinion. Now

650
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 1: that opinion, that opinion goes over the line. Personally, you're attacking.

651
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: Oh you're a hater. Damn. I just had an opinion, right,

652
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 1: I don't hate the person. I just felt like it

653
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: wasn't a good look. And if you put something out

654
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 1: there for public consumption, don't get piste off when the

655
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 1: public responds to it. I give you, I give your

656
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 1: perfect example. Right, the sister who the sister who like she?

657
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: I think you're saying, George that she does the weather,

658
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 1: and they were her clothes clothes, right, it's a very

659
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: attractive woman, you know what I'm saying. And then she

660
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 1: was like, well, I don't think people should be paying

661
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 1: attention to that, and unfortunately people are gonna pay attention

662
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,399
Speaker 1: to that. So all right, you can feel the way

663
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 1: that you want to feel, but people have a right

664
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 1: to their opinion. And I was like, I feel her.

665
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: I'm with her on that. But then she posted a

666
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: picture of like, like her leg like a picture of

667
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: her leg down and I was like, well, if you

668
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: don't want people to be asking that way, no, why

669
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,439
Speaker 1: would you do something like that? You know what I mean?

670
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: And so now when they were making such a big

671
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: deal lot of that, but have y'all seen the Colombian

672
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 1: and the overseas weather girls. We know, But anyway back

673
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: to this question originally, So now she's getting a hundred

674
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 1: pounds and you know, it could be the quession and

675
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 1: the more that he goes in on her about it

676
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: that could cause it. The more depression people do sometimes

677
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: to eat as a way to kind of comfort themselves

678
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: as well. So he also has what he also has

679
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: to understand is that as much jumping down and yelling

680
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 1: and screaming that he does, he doesn't control that other person, right,

681
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: So until she's to a point where it creates some

682
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:33,280
Speaker 1: some issues or discomfort for her, then she's not gonna

683
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,879
Speaker 1: make a move on it, right. Regardless of how hard

684
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 1: you push someone right, people kind of become frustrated with

685
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 1: the idea that me showing you that I care right,

686
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: and me being enthusiastic right, or me being demonstrative in

687
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: my tone is gonna lend itself to you getting up

688
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 1: off the couch and moving. I don't hear any of that. Like,

689
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: I'm in a space where I can't even hear what

690
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: you're saying. Right. It may look physically it looks like

691
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 1: you're yelling, but I'm not really hear what you're saying

692
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 1: because I don't feel that way. It's not uncomfortable to

693
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: me at that point. So the fact that it isn't

694
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: uncomfortable to me at that point, you have to practice

695
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 1: a level of patients and you have to check yourself

696
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: or not and identify what you're projecting on somebody else.

697
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: And you can try. You can you you you may

698
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: not do that, and it may lend itself to some

699
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: more frustration. Should it may lead lend itself to you

700
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: walking out the door. Because He's like, no doubt. At

701
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you can control your all behavior, right.

702
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: We all control what we can, right, So it's we

703
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: we engage in relationships oftentimes to look to control what

704
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: the other person is doing. And that is one of

705
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 1: the that's another big issue. I can't control what you do,

706
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: So why why do I need to continue to try?

707
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: And I need to engage in the ongoing process to

708
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 1: tell me control what you can control? What you can

709
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 1: because I can't control what you do. Well for you, guys.

710
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: I know we have to wrap up now, but I

711
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: appreciate you. Now, How can people reach Docking the dude

712
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: if they have some questions our social media handles at

713
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,839
Speaker 1: dog going to do at D O C and d

714
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 1: A d U d E. I know it, I'm gonna

715
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: say it again, but folks got trouble with the spelling

716
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: at D C d A d U D should I

717
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 1: have trouble with it sometimes? D dot in in the

718
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 1: letter and we got you Listen, We'll be checking back

719
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 1: in with you guys. So if anybody has questions, free

720
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 1: to hit us up and ask us because we're gonna

721
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: make sure that we can. People got questions for us,

722
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 1: and then they want we want they want us to

723
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: shoot it at y'all because I'm pretty sure people want

724
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: y'all opinion as well. Know you got the email emailers,

725
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: Dot gonna do one at gmail as well. Dot gonna

726
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: do the one at gmail. Dot calm. Well, thank you

727
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: all so much. I appreciate it. Dr Jasper, Dr Kendall,

728
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 1: jasper Kin and Jasper appreciate you guys always. Absolutely, Thank you,

729
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 1: Hi guy,