Speaker 1: Hell I Suck It Dating with me youngler Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast. We did it, Jared, we
Speaker 1: are here very first ever live podcast right now. How
Speaker 1: incredible is this? Unbelievable? Live from my bedroom and live
Speaker 1: and live from my van right now. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: ahead and say, right now, this is the first time
Speaker 1: I've been nervous recording a podcast, probably since the fifth
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Suck It Dating. I'm recording live
Speaker 1: from my van. I am currently uh stealing some hotels Internet.
Speaker 1: Please hopefully they don't knock up my van window at
Speaker 1: some point kicking out of the parking lot, because if
Speaker 1: they do, Jared, you might have to host the rest
Speaker 1: of this episode by yourself. But here we are Help
Speaker 1: I Suck It Dating virtual live event. And they said
Speaker 1: it couldn't be done, but we're making it happen. Oh.
Speaker 1: They told us we weren't allowed to have a live
Speaker 1: event in person, and so they waited until a pandemic
Speaker 1: for us to have a virtual one. And yet here
Speaker 1: we are. Help I second data. I mean, we've been
Speaker 1: doing this podcast for what two years now, and this
Speaker 1: is our first live event. Thank you for everybody who
Speaker 1: is virtually joining us for our first ever live podcast.
Speaker 1: I can't agree more with Dean. I'm very nervous that
Speaker 1: we're just gonna screw this whole thing up, whether it's
Speaker 1: be a technical issue or we just say something that
Speaker 1: you know, gets us canceled. Uh uh. Now, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be great. It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be super fun.
Speaker 1: We have some great guests, obviously, Mike Johnson, Evan Bass,
Speaker 1: and Taylor Nolan. We also have a dating expert coming
Speaker 1: on later on the podcast. You guys can please ask
Speaker 1: us questions. I think that will be towards the later
Speaker 1: part of the podcast usually when we do emails instead,
Speaker 1: we're gonna answer your guys questions. It's gonna be a
Speaker 1: grand old time. I don't know how that phrase came
Speaker 1: to be, but I use it all the time. But Dean,
Speaker 1: how are you doing right now? Where are you? Um? Jared,
Speaker 1: what's up? Man? And I'm doing well. I currently am
Speaker 1: uh somewhere near the south rim of the Grand Canyon.
Speaker 1: Kalen and I drove out here for a couple of
Speaker 1: days and it's, honestly kind of it's shocking how hard
Speaker 1: it is to find WiFi to steal around the Grand
Speaker 1: Canyon area. UM, I probably should have postponed this trip
Speaker 1: a couple of days and done it from Galen's apartment,
Speaker 1: But you know what, that's too easy. That's not how
Speaker 1: we operate over here. So that's where I'm at. We
Speaker 1: already have a couple of people that are in the
Speaker 1: chat room, so we want to say hi to Martina,
Speaker 1: j and Becky. Thank you guys for being our only
Speaker 1: three listeners and fans that are in the chat right now.
Speaker 1: The lies that you as well. UM, I honestly, I
Speaker 1: don't think we can see how many people are listening
Speaker 1: to this love, so I'm just gonna go ahead and
Speaker 1: assume it's three million people. We have three million viewers
Speaker 1: right now, and we're not gonna want to I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go with like roughly seven thousand. But I like
Speaker 1: that you're in the seven. Yes, I don't know. For
Speaker 1: the listeners that are listening to this, we're watching this podcast.
Speaker 1: It's we're to sa watching this podcast because we always
Speaker 1: have to say listening. I hope you can recall the
Speaker 1: moment on Bachelor in Paradise this past season when I
Speaker 1: was talking to Calein and I said, under promise over deliver,
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what we're gonna do here. We're gonna
Speaker 1: under promise. It's not gonna be a great podcast, but
Speaker 1: we're gonna over deliver and hopefully rock your freaking world.
Speaker 1: So we've been for two years. Yeah, yeah, well with
Speaker 1: some with some open room for debate there. Um, but yeah, Jared,
Speaker 1: you knowailed on the head man. It's like every time
Speaker 1: we record a podcast usually doesn't happen, but there are
Speaker 1: times where we're like, hey, could you like take that
Speaker 1: little snippet of me saying that stupid thing out of it?
Speaker 1: And they're like, yeah, sure, no thing, no problem at all.
Speaker 1: But now, uh, whatever we say has to we just
Speaker 1: have to build as consequences of it will be held
Speaker 1: against us in the court of law. Um. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is also like everybody watching this podcast, this is a
Speaker 1: good example of like the two people that you guys
Speaker 1: listen to on a weekly basis, Dean, what are you
Speaker 1: drinking right now? I found this local brewery here near
Speaker 1: the Grand Cannon's called Tower Station. It's a nice I
Speaker 1: p a uh oh, you got lunch earlier today, and
Speaker 1: I made sure to put one of those in our
Speaker 1: in the bridge so that way, I have a nice
Speaker 1: beer in the ani while we recorded this this podcast.
Speaker 1: Normally don't drink when I record a podcast, but I
Speaker 1: figured special circumstances. We got a live podcasts late in
Speaker 1: the afternoon. It calls for at least a beer to celebrate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh things. I couldn't agree more. You gotta celebrate, gotta
Speaker 1: have a beer. But it's funny because you're the cool guy.
Speaker 1: You're in the van. You know you've got swag or
Speaker 1: swab whatever you want to say. You made fun of
Speaker 1: me for saying swag at one point, but you're drinking
Speaker 1: a beer in I p A. And then here I
Speaker 1: am in my bedroom next to a Leon DiCaprio below.
Speaker 1: First of all, so it says sweet dreams, Crystal love Leo. Crystal,
Speaker 1: I'm in her bedroom actually is the one that signed
Speaker 1: me up for the bachelorette. So really I have heard
Speaker 1: a thank for finding my wife. And as you can see,
Speaker 1: instead of an I p A, I have a bubbly
Speaker 1: BlackBerry sparkling water. That's the type of guy you guys
Speaker 1: do on a weekly basis, and I thank you for
Speaker 1: doing that. Not not only does she have the sweet
Speaker 1: dreams uh by from Leo pillow. She also just has
Speaker 1: like a small little Leo pillow with Leo's face, Uh,
Speaker 1: just plastered all over this thing, which apparently gives you
Speaker 1: the sweetest of dreams. Before Jared, before before we get
Speaker 1: to our first guest, I said, one quick question, Crystal,
Speaker 1: is your sister correct? H. No, She's pretty much like
Speaker 1: my sister. My dad always says she's the adopted daughter
Speaker 1: that he never asked for, but it is very grateful
Speaker 1: that is in our life. So she she was really
Speaker 1: close with my sister, my sister Shannon, they were really close,
Speaker 1: and then I became really close with Like, we became
Speaker 1: really close altogether. Uh, and then it was just like she's,
Speaker 1: you know, like my sister pretty much. And then uh,
Speaker 1: of course, like one day she signed me up for
Speaker 1: the bachelorette. Always said I should do it, never did
Speaker 1: she signed me up. And basally, here I am hosting
Speaker 1: a podcast with you, my fine fellow, and you want
Speaker 1: to know what more about this podcast is coming up
Speaker 1: In just a couple of seconds, we have an incredible guest.
Speaker 1: Jared tell us about our very first guest we have
Speaker 1: on our very first live podcast. Well, our our very
Speaker 1: first guest I mean, you guys know him. Of course,
Speaker 1: he doesn't really need an intro now. He just wrote
Speaker 1: a book. It is available for preorder today. It is
Speaker 1: called Making the Love You Want. You know him from
Speaker 1: Hannah Brown season of The Bachelor Aurette, and then of
Speaker 1: course he went on to Bachelor in Paradise where he
Speaker 1: had a fling with Sydney. Uh. It's Mike Johnson, ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen. Mike Johnson is our first guest on our
Speaker 1: first ever live Help by Second Dating podcast. I think
Speaker 1: we're gonna bring him up right now with a little
Speaker 1: intro video. Yeah, I like the inter video idea. Look
Speaker 1: at that A beautiful, a beautiful beating smile from Mike
Speaker 1: Johnson over there. What's up, buddy? How are you? What's up? Bro?
Speaker 1: How y'all? How y'all doing? Living the dream? I'm telling you, Mike,
Speaker 1: it's so funny. So you're I was. I was looking
Speaker 1: you up a little bit beforehand, and I didn't know
Speaker 1: that your website is Mike johnson smile dot com. That
Speaker 1: is awes yea the dude, Because you know, Mike Johnson,
Speaker 1: my mom gave me like the most generic name in
Speaker 1: the world, so Mike Johnson domain was already taken. I
Speaker 1: offered to do five for the domain name, offered him
Speaker 1: a thousand for a domain name, and he's still said no.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm just gonna go with my
Speaker 1: smile and Mike Johnson smile dot com is where it's at. Also,
Speaker 1: tell us about this book that you just wrote, because
Speaker 1: I'm curious to hear more about it. Yeah, making the
Speaker 1: love you one man, it's all about I just posted
Speaker 1: today on my eyeesee some personal stuff about things that
Speaker 1: we go through in our lives that we kind of
Speaker 1: don't want to tell people that may bog us down
Speaker 1: or something of that nature. But I wanted to write
Speaker 1: in this book how to alleviate yourself from any stress
Speaker 1: that you may go through, anything that comes upon you,
Speaker 1: um and learn how to like have that boss ass
Speaker 1: attitude that you demed I know for a fact half
Speaker 1: as well, because I remember seeing you on Paradise and
Speaker 1: I was like, that dude has it, like he literally
Speaker 1: has it right. How to get that personality, how to
Speaker 1: get that smile at you have, Jared, how to just
Speaker 1: boss up in in every regarding your smile is way
Speaker 1: better than mad, my friend. It makes sense for you
Speaker 1: to write that book because as complimentary you are a
Speaker 1: book there and not you definitely possess that same quality
Speaker 1: that you want other people to have as well. So
Speaker 1: I can definitely see it's kind of like, uh, you're
Speaker 1: you're you're telling people how to do the thing that
Speaker 1: you're obviously capable of doing yourself, which is definitely a
Speaker 1: good way to le get into it. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I had to also go through the things that are
Speaker 1: in my book in order to write the book, right.
Speaker 1: That's the only way that I have been able to
Speaker 1: write the mantras and the exercise because I created them
Speaker 1: when I went through it. Um, from dealing with personal
Speaker 1: trauma of like sexual harassment, sexual assault, uh, to dealing
Speaker 1: with things like being doing it legal things where I
Speaker 1: could be in prison right now, um. And the rest
Speaker 1: of that stuff will be in a book on how
Speaker 1: to turn your life around, how to be a not
Speaker 1: a product of your society, and how to create the
Speaker 1: love that you want. They're always keeping it real, You
Speaker 1: always a thousand percent and say what's on your mind.
Speaker 1: And that's a very admirable trait, especially in today's day
Speaker 1: and age, especially in someone that's put in the position
Speaker 1: that that you and me and Jared are I'll put
Speaker 1: into where it's like you want to say the right thing,
Speaker 1: you want to do the right thing to make the
Speaker 1: most amount of people happy, but in reality it's not
Speaker 1: ne Stuary tue to yourself. So what you're doing is
Speaker 1: actually you're speaking your truth all the time, which is
Speaker 1: very very admirable. Facts. I appreciate that definitely. So you man,
Speaker 1: you said on your Instagram that you you're finding vulnerability
Speaker 1: to be sexy. Now, so like my question for you
Speaker 1: is what does Mike Johnson look for in a female bro?
Speaker 1: I suck you dating? Man, Like, come on, comes from
Speaker 1: the guy that's been a relationship for over a year now,
Speaker 1: the guy that's very I am not help me out.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing about sucking at dating, and we all
Speaker 1: suck at dating, like they're all aspects of relationships and
Speaker 1: dating that we suck at. And my wife, who apparently
Speaker 1: is joining us on this podcast, can certainly attest to you, well,
Speaker 1: we got Mike on the on the podcast. You make
Speaker 1: a cameo later by okay, bute bye. You could definitely
Speaker 1: tell you that there are many things that I suck
Speaker 1: at at dating. Uh So, just because I'm married doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that I'm that I don't suck at it. But yeah, Mike,
Speaker 1: so you said that you're looking for somebody who's vulnerable.
Speaker 1: What are some other qualities, because obviously we're a dating
Speaker 1: podcast that you look for in a in somebody that
Speaker 1: you hope to have a relationship with. To be honest,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty out there. I'm pretty outgoing. So I would
Speaker 1: say someone that isn't afraid to get out of their
Speaker 1: comfort zone, right, someone that is willing to try to
Speaker 1: do something at least one time, you know, not be
Speaker 1: so rigid in their ways, that's stuck in their ways.
Speaker 1: I love to be goofy and smile, laugh, and but
Speaker 1: like Dean said, I definitely can confront people. And so
Speaker 1: I want someone. I want a woman that has like
Speaker 1: a strong backgrown I can tell me when I'm wrong. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we gotta find we gotta find the right girl from Mike.
Speaker 1: I know there's been a lot of Mike for Bachelor
Speaker 1: promotion before Matt James was uh given the role, and
Speaker 1: I honestly I was in the same the same train
Speaker 1: as well. I always wanted Mike for Bachelor. It's like
Speaker 1: we never really got that happy ending that we wanted
Speaker 1: for you out a bachelor in Paradise. Obviously you and
Speaker 1: I kind of rolled at the same time, um, but
Speaker 1: there was just always I feel like it just it
Speaker 1: been able to connect for you, and I feel like,
Speaker 1: obviously all we want for you is to be happy
Speaker 1: and to be with that person that's right for you.
Speaker 1: And I'm not gonna say we feel slighted because Matt James,
Speaker 1: who we've never even seen on television before is the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure he's gonna be fantastic. But I was
Speaker 1: always pulling for you to be the Bachelor, and I
Speaker 1: feel like maybe one day we can see it. Who knows.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that helming, but I I mean, I would
Speaker 1: say that's not something that I hold my breath on,
Speaker 1: you know, like if it happens, and it happens and
Speaker 1: I'm ben laid for it, but as well, like I'm
Speaker 1: working on myself and doing great things for myself to
Speaker 1: build myself up. So therefore, when I do find my partner,
Speaker 1: I'm ready, you know, to uh give all of me
Speaker 1: to her. So there's two things that I wanted to
Speaker 1: ask him, Like, um, one, there was a lot of
Speaker 1: rumors when Claire was the first announced as the Bachelorrette
Speaker 1: that you. I don't know if you heard any of
Speaker 1: these that like you potentially could show up on her season. Um, well, Mike,
Speaker 1: my question is I because I heard the rumors about that,
Speaker 1: because Matt was announced as the Bachelor and then and
Speaker 1: then I heard like there was online rumors that is
Speaker 1: Mike Johnson gonna show up on Clarity. So one, why
Speaker 1: do you think those rumors are out there? And then too,
Speaker 1: do you think you'd ever go back on the Bachelor
Speaker 1: Bachelor franchise. I would go on to Bachelor franchise again
Speaker 1: if you know everything was right. And then I think
Speaker 1: the rumors were just there because people want to see
Speaker 1: your boy on TV again. That's right, baby, that's right.
Speaker 1: People want to see that file. I know if Matt
Speaker 1: James Bachelor one, then we need if if Mike Johnson
Speaker 1: is still single by two, which would be a miracle
Speaker 1: because you're good looking, smart, intelligent, suite and a catch.
Speaker 1: But if somehow you are not taken by two, we
Speaker 1: are saying it here first and help by second dating
Speaker 1: Mike Johnson Bachelor pretty say that I definitely do. I
Speaker 1: don't got your jaw line though broke just the jaw line. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have a way better beard. Okay, well I'm missing
Speaker 1: all I'm missing both of those things. No beard, no
Speaker 1: jol on. But Mike, we got the The live listeners
Speaker 1: are listening in and they're asking you questions. Uh, Tori
Speaker 1: wants to know how are you dating and quarantine because
Speaker 1: hosting this podcast, it's it's Jared and I who are
Speaker 1: both in relationships, so it's kind of hard for us
Speaker 1: to be like topical with how we're dating new people
Speaker 1: during quarantine. So what what's kind of like, what's been
Speaker 1: your method for a meeting new people and then be
Speaker 1: progressing our relationship in this environment. I definitely have going
Speaker 1: on some dates in quarantine. Knt Lie, I think that,
Speaker 1: yeah this yeah breaking news here and help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating. Then you already said I'm always be one hunted, right,
Speaker 1: so I'm definitely appreciate that. Quarantine. Uh, you just gotta
Speaker 1: be creator, you know you could be You still can
Speaker 1: be suave, you still can be poised, you still can
Speaker 1: have swag and just come up with some out of
Speaker 1: the box ideas. Right. So let's say I'm dating a
Speaker 1: woman and I know her I know her favorite dessert.
Speaker 1: I can have cheesecake factory delivered to a career you know,
Speaker 1: Ober eats it or something right right before I call
Speaker 1: it for our FaceTime. You know, there's all kinds of
Speaker 1: stuff that you can do that's sweet and sincere. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's what what are we talking about here? How?
Speaker 1: How do you? How do you meet these girls that
Speaker 1: we're talking like dating apps? Or are you like you're
Speaker 1: going for an over in Texas and you're like you're
Speaker 1: hollering at girls from a distance, Because again, it's like,
Speaker 1: how well can you really gauge interest in someone if
Speaker 1: you can't really get closer than six feets of them?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Um, I think that well
Speaker 1: one the way I've done it to answer the question
Speaker 1: I've been, I definitely have started to use them. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: as you add Instagram, Instagram is unquestionably the best dating
Speaker 1: app and people my in My uh My Mistake, Bumble
Speaker 1: and Tender and Brian are all great apps, but Instagram
Speaker 1: is the app that's best for meeting people. Now, So
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna put you all on game that y'all
Speaker 1: do not need to know because y'all are both, you
Speaker 1: know in committed beautiful relationships. Um, I have gotten a
Speaker 1: date off of LinkedIn. They're serious, which is while to say,
Speaker 1: tell us how that happens. We want to hear this,
Speaker 1: I mean just on LinkedIn, Like I'm I'm serious about
Speaker 1: I try to be a professional in our regardens because
Speaker 1: I've been on PP. I try to keep it professional
Speaker 1: right and keep it g But like, if I find
Speaker 1: you like alluring and attractive, like outside from a looks perspective,
Speaker 1: But if I like your that's your goal driven in
Speaker 1: or goal oriented, I'm gonna come high. As you know.
Speaker 1: So you know in the leaked n d MS it
Speaker 1: works the same way. Here's here's my question for you,
Speaker 1: because Mike, I used to be and we talked about
Speaker 1: this quite a bit on Bachelor Impaired Us. I used
Speaker 1: to be a recruiter for small businesses in California. But
Speaker 1: if I ever found a girl on LinkedIn, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this girl is cute. I would always like try to
Speaker 1: find their Instagram because it's a little more of a
Speaker 1: personal platform, right, So you're just like, you know, screw
Speaker 1: going to Instagram. I'm just gonna go ahead and straight
Speaker 1: send him an email. Real quick on on LinkedIn and
Speaker 1: see if they get back to me maybe like there's
Speaker 1: a good there's a good way to word it. Two like,
Speaker 1: let's me know for coffee and see if we can
Speaker 1: connect like like professionally, and see if anything goes from there.
Speaker 1: But I just want to know, like how did that
Speaker 1: whole thing happen? No, like literally that's what it is.
Speaker 1: So I don't drink coffee work, but I'll say something like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm going for a jog tomorrow morning at six am
Speaker 1: or seven am. Would you like to go to Starbus
Speaker 1: you get get a strawberry frap. I'll tell I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what. I'll tell you what's happening right now. I
Speaker 1: literally I can guarantee you this is happening right now.
Speaker 1: Every girl in the Dallas Houston, Texas surrounding area is
Speaker 1: updating their LinkedIn profile to make it as a feeling
Speaker 1: as possible for you to send them. In his word,
Speaker 1: because I can see more of you right here, and
Speaker 1: I can see I can see more of your personality
Speaker 1: from a business aspect. Right on Instagram, we always showing
Speaker 1: like highlight, highlight, highlight, But if you're actually active on LinkedIn,
Speaker 1: says something right there, because who's active on LinkedIn? Nobody?
Speaker 1: But if you are active on LinkedIn, that says something
Speaker 1: to me right there, he speaks to your personality more right,
Speaker 1: I gotta say something too, honestly, you you you using LinkedIn,
Speaker 1: you're not just about uh luks, because what you're doing
Speaker 1: on Instagram is they're all, like you said, these curated images,
Speaker 1: these models, but you don't really you you don't really
Speaker 1: get to know anything about them until you, you know,
Speaker 1: hopefully you get to meet them. But on LinkedIn, you
Speaker 1: see recommendations and their education and their their job history.
Speaker 1: You gotta learn a lot more about them than just
Speaker 1: how they look. And so that honestly says a lot
Speaker 1: about you that you're that you're wanting to get deeper
Speaker 1: right out of the out of the gates too, which
Speaker 1: is I'll be honest, I've used linked in as a
Speaker 1: dating resource years and years and years ago, uh and
Speaker 1: it always failed me miserably. So it's good to hear
Speaker 1: that you're using it a little bit more successful than
Speaker 1: I ever had, you know, But let's be honest, like,
Speaker 1: years and years and years ago, we both were in
Speaker 1: different positions, right, So yeah, no, you're you're absolutely You're right,
Speaker 1: You're absolutely right. There was there was times where I
Speaker 1: had conversations too and I was like, yeah, like let's
Speaker 1: meet up for coffee to this girl who like, yes,
Speaker 1: she was very promising as like a potential candidate for
Speaker 1: a role that I might have had, But there was
Speaker 1: like underlying like, oh she might be cute, we might
Speaker 1: like like hit it off whatever. Uh and uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I never had the luck with it, but
Speaker 1: it's good to know that that that that lives on
Speaker 1: and other people out there and that are more more
Speaker 1: successful with it too. Yeah. Fact, well I'm not successfully.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't gotta, I don't have a significant
Speaker 1: other yet. It's not Aggie official. So once that happens
Speaker 1: in then I'm good and I'm g Hey, did I
Speaker 1: see something too that you and Connor moved in together
Speaker 1: down in Texas as well? Yeah, Connor and I definitely
Speaker 1: we're moving in together. We have to move in today
Speaker 1: just yet, but we're moving in in Austin. So y'all
Speaker 1: both have come out, you know, have some well, have
Speaker 1: some fun. Only if Connor lets me, I don't know
Speaker 1: if he's forgiving me, uh the whole forget about that.
Speaker 1: I let you forget about that because to me, it's
Speaker 1: like I'm told Connor about this right because I don't
Speaker 1: really care. I just want people happy. I'm like Connor,
Speaker 1: bro that was like a year ago. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: whatever it happened has happened. It's subsided. Obviously, I have
Speaker 1: to share this story real quick. Wit. When I pulled
Speaker 1: into Paradise, Uh, like I said earlier, I was I
Speaker 1: was a later arrival. Mike was the arrival just before
Speaker 1: me and I got there, talked to the girls as
Speaker 1: you do that's customary for once you get to Paradise,
Speaker 1: and uh, ultimately I decided took Kalin on the day.
Speaker 1: Get back from that day and all the new arrivals
Speaker 1: get put into like a room where they I was like,
Speaker 1: sleep together, and I wake up the next day because
Speaker 1: the date went late, and Mike and I had this
Speaker 1: conversation and Mike said something along the lines up, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got here yesterday. I took Kalin on the day too,
Speaker 1: and I just want to let you know that I
Speaker 1: admire you for having good taste. And I was like, dude, honestly,
Speaker 1: there's a million ways you can approach a conversation with
Speaker 1: someone that just took the girl that you're interested in
Speaker 1: out on a date and telling them they have good
Speaker 1: taste is like the most bad ass way to say
Speaker 1: it because it makes you seem so like and I'm
Speaker 1: not not seeing it, but it makes you honest, like
Speaker 1: the coolest guy, because most people would be like piste
Speaker 1: off or like they would get territorial or whatever, but
Speaker 1: not Mike. Mike is a dude that a hundred percent
Speaker 1: the entire time was like I I respect it, Like, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it was a good decision. I had the
Speaker 1: same idea and it was a hundred percent supportive and
Speaker 1: uh embracing of the entire situation. And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: Connor wasn't this way, but there was definitely like a
Speaker 1: little bit of resentment I felt from Connor towards me,
Speaker 1: even though it's a bit of a different situation. But
Speaker 1: I had to give Mike some some props for that,
Speaker 1: because that was that was a very stand up move
Speaker 1: on your part. Bron forgot all about that. I remember
Speaker 1: it now as you said it, but after that's crazy,
Speaker 1: that is exactly what I said to you. I forgot
Speaker 1: all about that, absolutely. I was I was laying in
Speaker 1: the top bunk two and uh and you said that
Speaker 1: to me, And I was like, literally like a bunk
Speaker 1: bed that was nine ft tall and Mike and I
Speaker 1: are standing out of I because he's so goddamn Paul
Speaker 1: And you said it to me, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, dud, I just met you, and that's
Speaker 1: honestly like the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much. So yeah, it's definitely stuck
Speaker 1: with me. So I just want to let you know
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. No the show brow, I just want
Speaker 1: people happen. So being in the Bachelor world, man, it's
Speaker 1: just like you're one degree of separation from everybody, you know.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's just something that Connor will be I'm
Speaker 1: sure a okay with um. But Mike, before you go,
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you. You know, you're doing all
Speaker 1: these things, You're writing books, You're staying in the public eye,
Speaker 1: like people are very interested in what Mike Johnson has
Speaker 1: going on next. So in five years, where do you
Speaker 1: see yourself in five years? I appreciate that already known
Speaker 1: the answer to it as well. In five years, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be a household named ten towns bigger than just
Speaker 1: some dudeails on the damn you do have answer, you
Speaker 1: like when you say something like that's that's happening, Like
Speaker 1: Mike Johnson just said it. It's gonna happen. So he
Speaker 1: just said it the way he said it. Do we know?
Speaker 1: How do we know? Do we know the path that's
Speaker 1: gonna get him there? Or yeah, definitely, I'm just curious.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, can you share a little bit with that?
Speaker 1: Just a little bit with that, because I'm looking to
Speaker 1: share a little bit. I can be that in that
Speaker 1: same in that same same ballpark in five years as well,
Speaker 1: doing great. You're doing great. I think the biggest thing
Speaker 1: is people don't care about that you've got going on
Speaker 1: until they know that you actually care yourself about what
Speaker 1: you got going on. Right. And so as time continues
Speaker 1: to go on, people will start to believe, like what
Speaker 1: you just said, Dean about me, which I completely forgot about.
Speaker 1: That's my true nature, my true personality. Right, So someone
Speaker 1: will be like, wow, Mike isn't put it on the front.
Speaker 1: He said that when no cameras were around. He's just
Speaker 1: talking to the homie that he's just met today, Right,
Speaker 1: And so my path will be I'm writing a book
Speaker 1: that the next thing like, wow, he's not playing any games,
Speaker 1: my apologies. And then from there, I'm going on a
Speaker 1: book tour, and then from there I have huge news
Speaker 1: coming out next year, two big things that I'm working
Speaker 1: on right now in regards to the same round, but
Speaker 1: I'll get a whole lot more engagement on because it's
Speaker 1: a topic everyone wants to know about. Um. And then
Speaker 1: from there, I'm gonna have a badass wife was super
Speaker 1: soul spirited, has some dope ass kids. I might travel
Speaker 1: like Dean and I'm just gonna go bigger. I love it. Dude,
Speaker 1: you know who roinds me of? Like and this is
Speaker 1: I hope you take this as a conflict because have
Speaker 1: you ever seen The First Bad Boys? Because Will Smith's character,
Speaker 1: Mike Larry is like just like the coolest character of
Speaker 1: all time. He's like the most badass guy. Dude, you
Speaker 1: remind me so much with Mike Lowry. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you remember in the movie, but Martin Lawrence has
Speaker 1: to pretend he Will Smith, and like the way Will
Speaker 1: Smith says his name of the movie, He's like Mike
Speaker 1: Larry like because he's just so cool you're Mike Lowry
Speaker 1: because you're just like badass. So the point being is
Speaker 1: you should be starting in Bad Boys four. That's pretty
Speaker 1: much what I'm getting at. Let's make it happen. That's
Speaker 1: my nickname. Man. I had to get rid of that
Speaker 1: nickname because Mike Larry also has a very pretentious side,
Speaker 1: and so I don't want that pretentious, that pretentious aspect
Speaker 1: to it. It's just my But he's got a sweet
Speaker 1: he's got a good heart. That's why everybody loves him.
Speaker 1: You know, he's got he's good on the inside. You
Speaker 1: know that is true. That is what I am. Um. Well, Mike,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining us. Man, you are always
Speaker 1: a pleasure. Thank you for being on our first live podcast.
Speaker 1: We can't tell you how much we appreciate it. Um.
Speaker 1: Once again, everybody, go preorder Mike's book today, Making the
Speaker 1: Love You Want and is available for preorder today and
Speaker 1: it comes out in the fall. Do you have a
Speaker 1: date for when it comes out yet? Yeah, it comes
Speaker 1: out October. Tewod World Smile Day. You know we do
Speaker 1: that on purpose. Go to Mike Johnson smile dot com
Speaker 1: and check it out. Awesome Mike Johnson, Smile Man. We
Speaker 1: appreciate you, man, I thank you all. Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: a good one. Congratulations. Also, by the way, thanks man.
Speaker 1: Oh dude, come on your our first live guest on
Speaker 1: our first live podcast. Unbelievable. You're the man. Take care.
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you soon. Thank you. You don't have
Speaker 1: a good one. Tell tell your ladies, I said, guy
Speaker 1: as well. I will, Man, I won't. I promise you
Speaker 1: I won't. Yeah, yeah, Tellember live, help I suck at David.
Speaker 1: Oh my goshute, Sorry for sore is over there? How
Speaker 1: are you, Taylor? I'm good. I just caught the end
Speaker 1: of Mike there, and he is so fantastic and I
Speaker 1: loved both of you in a way like boy crushing
Speaker 1: on him is very cute to watch sometimes by crush
Speaker 1: on Mike. You know, it's not often, but sometimes I
Speaker 1: wish I was single so I could give take a
Speaker 1: shot at Mike, you know what I mean. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it I don't know if they looked at
Speaker 1: I don't know if it would happen or not. But
Speaker 1: I just sometimes I wonder what it. I have a
Speaker 1: feeling You're not alone in that thought, Dean. I agree
Speaker 1: with that anyways, Taylor, Welcome to the podcast. We love
Speaker 1: having you here. You've been here many times. UM. We
Speaker 1: are stoked to have you as always. UM. Tell us
Speaker 1: a little bit about what's going on in the life
Speaker 1: of Taylor No. One. We have live listeners listening from
Speaker 1: all over the world, from Africa, from Australia, from Europe,
Speaker 1: and even up in Canada, which we know you love
Speaker 1: so much. UM about what's going on in your life?
Speaker 1: What's going on in my life? Still some Canada, Still
Speaker 1: some Canada in my life? Um uh yeah. In like
Speaker 1: two weeks, I'm starting my PhD and clinical sexology. UM.
Speaker 1: So that's exciting but also terrifying. UM. Still seeing clients
Speaker 1: literally hopping off of clients to hop onto here. UM.
Speaker 1: So that's been going really well. Trying to keep all
Speaker 1: these freaking plants alive. Um is like a full time job,
Speaker 1: it feels like. So yeah, things that have been things
Speaker 1: have been going. UM. So hold on, I want to
Speaker 1: go back to your You're currently getting your degree in sexology. Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: In September I start my PhD and clinical sexology, so
Speaker 1: it'll be a two year program. Um the whole first
Speaker 1: year and thankfully have a girlfriend here who's UM. An
Speaker 1: a sex clified sex therapist and we're taking the program together. UM.
Speaker 1: But yeah, the whole first year is like your coursework
Speaker 1: and then the second year is your dissertation and supervision.
Speaker 1: So I'll continue seeing clients through that, um. But it's
Speaker 1: super exciting. Like I miss being in school so much,
Speaker 1: and I never thought I would ever get my PhD
Speaker 1: or like I've always wanted to be a sexologist and
Speaker 1: like a sex therapist, but always felt like it was
Speaker 1: just too far out there for me to do. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I just like had imposter syndrome. UM.
Speaker 1: But now I'm like, holy sh it's happening of doing
Speaker 1: it and it's really exciting. And I know you talked
Speaker 1: about this in the podcast before, but just give a
Speaker 1: like little synopsis of what you do as a sex therapist. Yes. So,
Speaker 1: I feel like the biggest thing that sex therapists and
Speaker 1: sexologists do is help destigmatize sex, help people unlearn a
Speaker 1: lot of the shame that that is kind of unfortunately
Speaker 1: built into our sex education. UM. And it's not you know,
Speaker 1: having sex with people or anything like that, um, but
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot of like providing exercises, right and
Speaker 1: just helping normalize the language around sex, talking about masturbation
Speaker 1: and anal play and all these things that people feel
Speaker 1: like really, look are you talking about that, um, and
Speaker 1: just helping normalize it. It's a huge part of it.
Speaker 1: I completely agree. I am. I I love what you're
Speaker 1: doing because I think we have to kind of work
Speaker 1: towards society where we normalize sex and more importantly, normalized
Speaker 1: conversations around sex because like, as growing even like from
Speaker 1: my own personal experience just growing up as a guy,
Speaker 1: especially in the digitalays with porn. I mean, let's be honest,
Speaker 1: he knows what I'm talking about. UM, It's like you're
Speaker 1: just exposed to this. Don't don't act like you don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about, but you're just like exposed
Speaker 1: to this world, you know, of of what just kind
Speaker 1: of learning on the fly. And my parents were the
Speaker 1: greatest parents, but like I never had to sit down
Speaker 1: conversation with my dad where my dad was like, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: this is this is what it's all about. Like you had,
Speaker 1: We had like many very uncomfortable and awkward conversations about it.
Speaker 1: Like I'll never forget this is an embarrassing story. But whatever,
Speaker 1: I'm you know one time, you know, I'm in my
Speaker 1: teenage years, I'm in my bedroom alone, you know, I
Speaker 1: you know, start you know whatever, and then I start
Speaker 1: what Jared's put words to it, saying, I know you're right,
Speaker 1: You're right now, no shame. So I started, uh choking
Speaker 1: the chicken as nice. No we need we need to
Speaker 1: look at It's okay to say you started touchingsturbating. Yep,
Speaker 1: I started masturbating, and I got walked in on It
Speaker 1: was the only time I ever got walked in. My
Speaker 1: dad walked in and it was horror bying. But like
Speaker 1: later on that night, my dad sat down with me,
Speaker 1: and he didn't know what to say because like my
Speaker 1: dad's super old school, you know, so he's never really
Speaker 1: confronted a situation like this before. And he was very
Speaker 1: sweet about it. He was he was I remember him
Speaker 1: just being like, you know, that's normal, just you know,
Speaker 1: try not to do it a lot, and like it
Speaker 1: wasn't bad advice. It was just like we didn't know.
Speaker 1: But I I think, as you know, Ashley and I
Speaker 1: start talking about having kids, I want to you know,
Speaker 1: prepare myself and I want to be as educated as possible,
Speaker 1: and I want to feel as comfortable as possible to
Speaker 1: talk with my kids about these things because I want
Speaker 1: them to learn it at somewhat of an early age.
Speaker 1: M h yeah. I mean you literally start teaching your
Speaker 1: child about their relationship with their genitalia when they are
Speaker 1: like still a year old, right, because when you're changing
Speaker 1: their diaper and when they are going to like touch
Speaker 1: their genitals in a non sexual right right there, just
Speaker 1: like I'm figuring out my body parts. UM, parents often
Speaker 1: are moving their hands away or swatting it away or
Speaker 1: saying nope, nope, we don't touch there. We don't touch there,
Speaker 1: we don't touch there. Right. That's kind of like the
Speaker 1: first messaging that you start getting about your relationship with
Speaker 1: your genitalia. UM. So there's so many there, there really is,
Speaker 1: no I think the sooner the better. It's just starting
Speaker 1: with anatomy. Even my UM, I consider like my chosen sister. UM,
Speaker 1: she's five years old, and you know she's learning the
Speaker 1: proper anatomy to her genitalia. You know, she knows that
Speaker 1: the vagina is the inside part, and she knows that
Speaker 1: the outside is her vulva. UM. I have like uh
Speaker 1: internal diagram of the clitterest it's that little pink thing
Speaker 1: right there. And she saw she's like, what's She's like,
Speaker 1: what's that thing? Um? Grab it because people see me, right,
Speaker 1: please grab it. So I'm like, so I'm like, we
Speaker 1: literally pulled this down and she's like what's this? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, this is like a part of your volva,
Speaker 1: Like this is the part that you see on the outside,
Speaker 1: and this is called your clitterist. This is the external
Speaker 1: part that you see. And then this is all what's
Speaker 1: happened on the inside. So you got bulbs, you got legs,
Speaker 1: and that's all inside where your vagina is. And I
Speaker 1: mean helping young girls especially, but even young boys as well.
Speaker 1: Being able to actually identify their anatomy properly helps us
Speaker 1: to reduce shame around talking about it right, um growing
Speaker 1: up and being able to say, yeah, that's my valva
Speaker 1: and not hearing everyone be like, oh, you're she's a
Speaker 1: pussy like like you know, but you know, be like,
Speaker 1: m that's my valva. You wanna know what? You wanna
Speaker 1: know what's messed up? And I even sharing this stories
Speaker 1: uncomfortable for me, and I understand the idea of normalizing
Speaker 1: these conversations, but you're right, there's like this weird underlying
Speaker 1: inherent not even inherent, but just taught. Thing we're even
Speaker 1: speaking on this stuff is like taboo of sorts, you know.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I don't think I ever really started asking
Speaker 1: a girl if they liked or what they liked or
Speaker 1: preferred sexually until I was like twenty six years old.
Speaker 1: Twenty six years old, I was sexually girl what they like?
Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy? Yeah? Yeah, well that's a norm. I
Speaker 1: feel like I was an early adopter. I feel like
Speaker 1: when it happened, I was like, Wow, I asked a
Speaker 1: girl if what I was doing was enjoyable for her.
Speaker 1: I'm like, really progressive and cool, But in reality, that's
Speaker 1: pretty bad. Twenty six a decade of sexual activity and
Speaker 1: it took me that long to figure out to start
Speaker 1: asking the girl if they enjoyed it. You know. Well,
Speaker 1: and that's part of sex education that is lacking. Right.
Speaker 1: How do we have these conversations? How do we communicate
Speaker 1: to each other what we like? Right? And a lot
Speaker 1: of you know, I'm just going to speak to being
Speaker 1: a female myself and to the women that I know,
Speaker 1: but I think a lot of women here I'm going
Speaker 1: to generalize, Um, have struggled to identify what feels good
Speaker 1: for them and what they like, and there's fear and
Speaker 1: going about how you communicate it right that if you know,
Speaker 1: when you seem confident in it, then you must be
Speaker 1: a slat and he might be turned off and he
Speaker 1: might be intimidated and threatened that you're saying that he
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to please you, or there's this you know,
Speaker 1: the lack of even asking what do you like? Doesn't
Speaker 1: provide a safe space to even feel comfortable to explore
Speaker 1: that a and then be to communicate it. Um. So,
Speaker 1: I think that's a huge part of our sex education
Speaker 1: that's lacking, because sexual health includes sexual pleasure, and sex
Speaker 1: education should also include pleasure, and being able to communicate
Speaker 1: that and share with your partner what you like and
Speaker 1: what you don't like is a huge part of pleasure
Speaker 1: and health. So what would is there any piece of
Speaker 1: advice that you'd give anybody who's listening right now that
Speaker 1: might be going through situations similar to that where there
Speaker 1: with someone and uh, you know, from what I've heard,
Speaker 1: most of the time this happens to women just because
Speaker 1: it's harder for them to to climax, which is you know,
Speaker 1: how do I how do I convey to my partner
Speaker 1: this is what I like without them feeling uh defensive
Speaker 1: or insecure about it. I feel like a lot of
Speaker 1: guys get insecure if they feel like they can't do
Speaker 1: it on their own, even though I'm sure that happens
Speaker 1: a lot. Yeah. So, first, I think part of the
Speaker 1: reason why it can be difficult for women's experience orgasm
Speaker 1: and pleasures actually in the first place is because of
Speaker 1: a lack of education around our actual anatomy A right,
Speaker 1: um B. I think making sure that you do have
Speaker 1: a safe space to be able to actually explore that
Speaker 1: with your partner. Um. I think it's important in any
Speaker 1: relationship that you understand that your partner has their own
Speaker 1: relationship with their body. They have their own relationships sexually
Speaker 1: with their body that is completely independent of you. And
Speaker 1: that is not to say that, um, you know that
Speaker 1: you don't matter or that you don't provide pleasure, but
Speaker 1: that at the end of the day, you don't own
Speaker 1: your partner's body, So they're going to experience pleasure without you,
Speaker 1: and that's not a diss at you. Right. So, I
Speaker 1: think that's important to have space to be able to
Speaker 1: experiment with that, um, and I it's disappointing because I
Speaker 1: think like we can use sex as a coping skill,
Speaker 1: just like going for a run. Right, So, like, are
Speaker 1: you do you feel intimidated or threatened? Or would your
Speaker 1: partner feel intimidated or threatened if you were having a
Speaker 1: stressful day and you were like, I really need to
Speaker 1: go for a run, probably not. But if you were like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just want to have some you know, alone time,
Speaker 1: or I want to pleasure myself in this way, or
Speaker 1: you know, could you help pleasure me in this way?
Speaker 1: Like this is a specific way that I want. That
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a different conversation, right, right, I
Speaker 1: agree with that. That makes a lot of sense. It's
Speaker 1: so funny too, especially when educated like yourself speak about it.
Speaker 1: You're always like I agree with that. Yeah, that makes
Speaker 1: a lot of sense. But then like you're living your
Speaker 1: everyday life and you go through it and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: this is kind of weird. But then someone like you
Speaker 1: obviously explains it and you're like, yeah, I definitely see
Speaker 1: how there's been uh malpractice of this up until now
Speaker 1: even going forward, and that's obviously it's a notgoing conversation Um,
Speaker 1: but Taylor, obviously we love the sex topic. I could
Speaker 1: talk about sex with you for hours and hours and
Speaker 1: hours and just be I just love being informed and
Speaker 1: educated on all this stuff. Um, but we do have
Speaker 1: to get to our next guest. But before we get
Speaker 1: to our next guest, we want to talk about Vanessa
Speaker 1: because we love Vanessa. She used to be the you know,
Speaker 1: one of the post with us here on this podcast,
Speaker 1: and you and her are incredibly good friends as well. Um,
Speaker 1: she's got engaged and that's obviously incredible for incredible thing
Speaker 1: for her. Tell us about it because we haven't had
Speaker 1: the chance to speak with her yet on this podcast,
Speaker 1: but we love her, and you know you love her
Speaker 1: as well. Um, and we know that you know Josh
Speaker 1: and Josh is great, but we want to hear from
Speaker 1: you perspective. What's going on with that. Yeah, well I'll
Speaker 1: let her share her story. But I'm just very excited
Speaker 1: for both of them. They're both fantastic people. I absolutely
Speaker 1: love Josh. He's a fantastic guy. He's always like, you know,
Speaker 1: trying to kind of screen the guys I date too,
Speaker 1: to make sure that we have, you know, a good
Speaker 1: double date situation. And then you can, you know, eventually
Speaker 1: one of these days take trips again together. But um no,
Speaker 1: Josh is absolutely fantastic and I'm just incredibly happy for
Speaker 1: both of them, And like since day one, and it's
Speaker 1: always been like, yeah, they're definitely gonna They're definitely gonna
Speaker 1: be together for a very, very, very long time. It
Speaker 1: really has seemed like that, And you definitely do it
Speaker 1: on the head ever since. I remember Vanessa and I
Speaker 1: leaving like a red carpet I Heeart radio event and
Speaker 1: she was like, yeah, I'm gonna get up with Josh
Speaker 1: and she started telling me about Josh and I was like,
Speaker 1: you're probably gonna marry this guy, aren't you. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you can definitely tell from an early stage. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: they're very we we love you. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about your podcast real quick. Before we part ways.
Speaker 1: We talked about a bunch, but um, it's called Let's
Speaker 1: talk about It. Pretty pretty funny, guys, real quick. It's
Speaker 1: almost like you planned that or something, So I haven't
Speaker 1: listened to the other's podcast. Let's talk about it. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's a great podcast. And obviously you just heard her speak.
Speaker 1: You know, she's well educated and well informed and opinionated
Speaker 1: and that's all the all the stuff we want to
Speaker 1: keep here. And so check her out UM and check
Speaker 1: her out Instagram as well. Thank you, thank you, thanks
Speaker 1: of course, and I just want to say thank you
Speaker 1: for everything you're doing and good luck with school. I
Speaker 1: think what you're doing is very important. Uh, And I
Speaker 1: just wanted to let you know that thanks doing my best.
Speaker 1: Oh my good Lord in heaven, the man, the myth,
Speaker 1: the legend is that this thing. Do I see a thigh,
Speaker 1: a very pale hairry thigh? Have Evan bass? Ladies and John,
Speaker 1: how are you doing? But hey, can anyone hear Evan?
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't hear him. Can you you can
Speaker 1: hear him? I can hear him. Yeah, you can't hear him.
Speaker 1: Video just went out. His video just went out. I
Speaker 1: can't see. I can't see it now, either his videos
Speaker 1: out I can't hear or I don't want to see
Speaker 1: or talk to Dean. So hopefully I'm glad to see.
Speaker 1: That was part of my contract. I is this the
Speaker 1: first time you guys are like interacting? No? All right,
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it, you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's Uh. I can't remember why I'm so findly have
Speaker 1: my role model, my mute and my best friend as
Speaker 1: a guest on this podcast. It's been so long. I
Speaker 1: have so many times and every single one of them unopened.
Speaker 1: You have so much in common. Yes, look at these
Speaker 1: look at these guys. Wait, how did this seven begin?
Speaker 1: I forget the whole Dean Evan thing. Honestly, it escaped
Speaker 1: my mind until until Dean started saying that your video
Speaker 1: was out, and I was like, oh, he's doing this
Speaker 1: on purpose. Oh yeah, how did this like rivalry even begin?
Speaker 1: I think it's it's been a one sided feud for me.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think I've ever talk to me
Speaker 1: always just completely despised him. That's really it. So I
Speaker 1: want to be clear. I want to be clear to say, uh,
Speaker 1: you're not alone in your disposition for me, and it's
Speaker 1: totally warranted, it's totally necessary, and just to let you
Speaker 1: know the feeling is absolutely freaking mutual. Okay, Oh Evan Evan,
Speaker 1: You've got a relationship. And then like it's like by
Speaker 1: bachelor law, I can't be mad at you anymore now
Speaker 1: that you're in a relationship. Like we have to cheer
Speaker 1: for the couples like that's it's it's really was upsetting. Frankly,
Speaker 1: she doesn't listen to this live podcast, but literally, the
Speaker 1: only reason I dated her was to be able to
Speaker 1: make amends with you. Uh freaking awesome, Evan. The last
Speaker 1: time I saw you was when the Patriots uh beat
Speaker 1: the Kansas City Chiefs in one of the greatest games
Speaker 1: ever play. The game. We were down in Cancoon, Mexico
Speaker 1: with Lauren z and it was so funny. We we
Speaker 1: were I'll never forget. So this is what Lauren was
Speaker 1: dating Chris, but before they came out and we were
Speaker 1: grilling her because we were like who she told us
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, I have a boyfriend. Were like, who
Speaker 1: the hell isn't she? So I I can't really, I
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it, like it's not public,
Speaker 1: and we're like, who the hell is it? And I
Speaker 1: remember at one point in the night we were we
Speaker 1: were driving, we saw this. I don't know if he
Speaker 1: came with this or not, but we saw did you
Speaker 1: come to the the theater? What would we go? S? Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course the musical the Yeah, the rock and roll, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Rock of Ages, and so we saw Rocket Ages and
Speaker 1: at one point in the car I was like, are
Speaker 1: you dating Chris Harrison? Because I just like threw the
Speaker 1: name out there and she was like, oh ha ha ha,
Speaker 1: and she didn't say anything, and then I told her
Speaker 1: forgot about it, and then like two weeks later she
Speaker 1: came out Chris Harrison. Um, but I see that you're
Speaker 1: like in your your your kingdom right now. You you
Speaker 1: kind of look like a king. You're you're doing leg
Speaker 1: is up. You look you know, like your your little bit. No,
Speaker 1: not at all. I think it's fantastic. But how are you?
Speaker 1: How are the kids? How's family? How are you doing? Buddy? Oh,
Speaker 1: everybody's there's just so many of the kids now that
Speaker 1: it's just very intense and um, there's time and I
Speaker 1: can't keep tracking. I mean I've got a nineteen year
Speaker 1: old and then a nine month old. It's like insane.
Speaker 1: So uh yeah, I mean life is good and everybody's healthy,
Speaker 1: thank god. Yeah, things are great. There's been one burning
Speaker 1: question I've been dying to ask you, and not just me,
Speaker 1: have been dying to ask you this question because a
Speaker 1: lot of our live listeners and watches of this podcast
Speaker 1: right now will literally not stop messaging uh this question,
Speaker 1: and we have to know, what is your go to
Speaker 1: cheesecake factory order? Oh? The enchiladas, enchiladas from Cheesecake fac Food.
Speaker 1: They're amazing, They're life changing. You've never had the enchilada is? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta you gotta do. I didn't even know the
Speaker 1: cheesecake factory made enchilada. That's a that's a that's a
Speaker 1: Mexican food order. You can literally say anything and they
Speaker 1: will make it for you. Like. That's one of the
Speaker 1: intense long you know menus have ever seen my entire life.
Speaker 1: We've all been done. You know, is it what is it?
Speaker 1: Pork beef, chicken makes I don't even know anymore. That's
Speaker 1: a good question. What was your what was your go
Speaker 1: to order in Paradise? Oh? Man, uh dude, it was
Speaker 1: it was like they made some dish. It was like
Speaker 1: steak and chicken and like vegetables and it was like
Speaker 1: and then we'd make them for heat is I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess it's basically yeah, for heat is. Oh, but
Speaker 1: the chocolate shakes in Paradise, did you guys ever have
Speaker 1: some chocolate parent? Oh? My god, they were good stuff.
Speaker 1: I well, because you you you said Encelada's in it
Speaker 1: remind me that paradise. Uh the what was it? The
Speaker 1: case of dias there? God, they had a steak and
Speaker 1: cheese case of deal with guacamole on the side and
Speaker 1: it was just perfection. Anyway, pizza and the pizza was
Speaker 1: great to talcot Chakes. I'm so glad you reminded me. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we are dating podcast, so I guess we should talk
Speaker 1: about other things food, even though we talk about food
Speaker 1: all day. Obviously, Evan, you are known because you know
Speaker 1: on the show you were you were the e D guy.
Speaker 1: You were just the guy. But a rectile dysfunction is
Speaker 1: a very real thing. And uh so can you kind
Speaker 1: of tell us what e D exactly is? And uh, um,
Speaker 1: just kind of give us the overview of like who
Speaker 1: it affects at? What age does it mostly start affecting people?
Speaker 1: Uh and kind of the stress that's a along with
Speaker 1: it stigma. I'll just let you take it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I recall this function is basically the inability to
Speaker 1: get in direction enough to have sex. So it's pretty simple. Um,
Speaker 1: And I mean it affects just about every guy at
Speaker 1: some point in their life. I mean it's uh, it's
Speaker 1: really common. Obviously, affects guys more as they get older,
Speaker 1: but younger guys have it too. Um see a lot
Speaker 1: of younger guys, especially nowadays, uh, that that are suffering
Speaker 1: from it. Um. Usually with younger guys you know I'm
Speaker 1: talking and by younger, I mean like under forties, so
Speaker 1: like it's under forty is young to me still, so uh,
Speaker 1: those guys usually, um, you know, they end up not
Speaker 1: having it for for life or something. It can just
Speaker 1: be like an intermittent thing. I mean like you know
Speaker 1: people in college you drink too much and then you
Speaker 1: know you can't get it up cocaine and you're not
Speaker 1: gonna get get in direction after that, and a lot
Speaker 1: of times so um happens a lot to younger guys.
Speaker 1: The questions for you then you're definitely not a younger guy.
Speaker 1: All right, we do we all know that you're getting
Speaker 1: up there in age, you're kind of in uh, you're
Speaker 1: getting close to retirement whatever it is. How do you
Speaker 1: how do you keep the spice alive in your relationship?
Speaker 1: Then as an old man that's probably dealing with these
Speaker 1: chronic illnesses us not keeping it away. It's like insane, No,
Speaker 1: like that's just like the hardest thing ever. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's when you know, as soon as Isabella goes down,
Speaker 1: then Chuck Bass wakes back up, and then you know,
Speaker 1: then I've got a teenager who needs help with his
Speaker 1: freaking book report whould wait until last minute to do
Speaker 1: before summer reading. And so it's great, it's difficult. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but Evan, you are pumping out kids faster than freaking
Speaker 1: than bugs Bunny on Easter over there, so obviously that
Speaker 1: the Roman doesn't mark you're still there. Yeah, it's that's
Speaker 1: exactly right there. It just takes one shot, you know.
Speaker 1: But I'm curious because there is there is this stigma
Speaker 1: against the rectons. This function, and like you said, Evan,
Speaker 1: is very common. Um, but I've also heard this not
Speaker 1: only for men who feel insecure when they can't perform,
Speaker 1: but also females. Uh think that it's them that they're
Speaker 1: like if if a guy can't get it up, then
Speaker 1: a woman feels, oh my god, he's not attracted to me. Um.
Speaker 1: Obviously I don't think that's true, but maybe you can
Speaker 1: elaborate a little bit on that to make females who
Speaker 1: are listening to this right now, uh a little bit
Speaker 1: more comfortable letting them know that hey, if if a
Speaker 1: guy has rectile this function, it's not that he's not
Speaker 1: attracted to Yeah, it's crazy. I mean for guys, it's like,
Speaker 1: as long as it's warm and moist, it's fine. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it's just not moist, it's fine, Like it's not a
Speaker 1: big deal. So it's not it's usually not almost never
Speaker 1: is it's sexual attraction. Um. A lot of times, like
Speaker 1: I had a guy who um came to me and
Speaker 1: he was like, man, for a year, I've been starting
Speaker 1: fights with my wife, um because I can't get it up.
Speaker 1: And so at night before bed, I start fights and
Speaker 1: then I'll go sleep on the couch because I don't
Speaker 1: want to be putting that awkward position of having to
Speaker 1: like get it up when I know I can't. And so, um,
Speaker 1: guys are very um, you know, protective, our egos are
Speaker 1: very fragile around our member and so it's like a
Speaker 1: difficult thing to talk about. I mean, you know, it's
Speaker 1: and so a lot of times, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: know why women think it's them, but it's it's just
Speaker 1: it's just not like guys always want to have sex,
Speaker 1: and a lot of times if they don't, then it's
Speaker 1: there's something else going on. One thing I've noticed, and
Speaker 1: this might be Team I or maybe I've shared on
Speaker 1: the podcast before, I honestly don't know, is my sex
Speaker 1: drive strongly diminishes if I'm not like working out or
Speaker 1: like physically in shape. So after I broke my leg,
Speaker 1: my sex drive started depleting quite a bit, not because
Speaker 1: my leg was broken, but because I felt ending in
Speaker 1: my or so in my arms, like getting softer, and
Speaker 1: there were things like I was like, even, like Evan
Speaker 1: just said, I was like pretty down to myself. I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, like I'm not you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: like as vigorous as I used to be or to
Speaker 1: think that. But then I was like, well, it's probably
Speaker 1: because you feel like a fat piece and started for
Speaker 1: my language. But that's actually what that's that's where that's
Speaker 1: where I ended up. Yeah, totally, man. I mean anxiety
Speaker 1: and stress are um probably the number one cause of
Speaker 1: e D and young people. I don't know, that's not
Speaker 1: a medical fact, but that's I mean see that all
Speaker 1: the time where it's just like life is weighing on
Speaker 1: a guy or um, you know, yeah, you start to
Speaker 1: get that little paunch in your belly, you lose your
Speaker 1: self confidence and um, and then it's like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't you know? Do I still got it? Am I
Speaker 1: still going to impress? Impress for or whatever? And and
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's tough. It's tough to come back.
Speaker 1: It's actually like this negative feedback loop. It sort of
Speaker 1: spirals down and it's like you have one bad encounter
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, and then all the
Speaker 1: sadden it's like another about him. Am I gonna is
Speaker 1: the next time I go to have sex? Am I
Speaker 1: gonna like not be able to get up again? What's
Speaker 1: going to happen? So then then you kind of avoid it,
Speaker 1: and if it's not talked about, then it ends up
Speaker 1: being you know, kind of a big deal. A lot
Speaker 1: of guys would you go to the doctor and ask
Speaker 1: for pills or something if um, if they know and
Speaker 1: not tell they're their significant uh girlfriend, boyfriend whatever and um,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, they try to hide it and and
Speaker 1: sometimes that works, you know, but communication is always the
Speaker 1: best obviously. Um. So before you go out, and I
Speaker 1: did want to ask you, how do you think we
Speaker 1: can make talking about recton this function more normal? Because,
Speaker 1: like we talked about, it is very uncomfortable. It's hard
Speaker 1: to communicate it, especially as a guy, you can start
Speaker 1: feeling insecure. Um. And we actually just had Taylor Nolan
Speaker 1: on the podcast was becoming a sex therapist, which is
Speaker 1: incredible and she really wants to start normalizing just discussions
Speaker 1: about sex. Uh, so we can learn at a younger
Speaker 1: age about what sex really is. And so I guess
Speaker 1: my question is for you, Like I said, what do
Speaker 1: you suggest to make the discussion around erectile dysfunction more normalized?
Speaker 1: I think you get a joke about it. You gotta
Speaker 1: have fun with it. Um. You know, the memes are plentiful,
Speaker 1: the jokes are plumbing. I mean you just gotta like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, just kind of bring it around that way.
Speaker 1: And especially if you're gonna go if you suspect your
Speaker 1: guy might have e D or if he does have
Speaker 1: e D and he just doesn't want to talk about it, Um,
Speaker 1: you know, you gotta do like the Oreo approach, right,
Speaker 1: Like you gotta do the positive affirmation. I really love
Speaker 1: your dick. It's really beautiful and it's awesome. Um, but
Speaker 1: you know, like we should talk about like have like
Speaker 1: let's try some of this stuff that's out there and
Speaker 1: available that we can you know, mess around with and
Speaker 1: have fun, kind of make it sort of like a
Speaker 1: sex toy, but it's like but it's a viagara. And
Speaker 1: then I just I just love that, you know, like
Speaker 1: i'd love you, and I love the intimacy and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. So if you as long as you stroke
Speaker 1: a guy's ego, um, you know, you can usually no
Speaker 1: pun intended side. As long as you say you go,
Speaker 1: then you can usually um you know that. Uh. I
Speaker 1: was gonna make another joke, but I'm not gonna do. Uh.
Speaker 1: It loves the entry, so yeah, oh there we go. Man. Well, Evan,
Speaker 1: we really appreciate you coming on. We really appreciate you
Speaker 1: facing your your moral enemy, um Dean Anglert and uh
Speaker 1: it's always fun seeing you to interact and thank you
Speaker 1: for really, uh you know, talking about e D. Because
Speaker 1: I do think it's an important topic, uh and something
Speaker 1: that we should talk more about because like you said,
Speaker 1: it's pretty common. Yeah for sure. I love that. Alright,
Speaker 1: cool man, please give my love and all the kids.
Speaker 1: All right, well game, we can never talk to you again. Evan,
Speaker 1: thank you for whatever my life on Twitter, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna keep going. I love it all right, by everybody,
Speaker 1: all right, see, I totally forgot about the the relationship
Speaker 1: that you guys had. God so good, Oh my god. Anyways,
Speaker 1: moving on from a very scorned and troubled relationship to
Speaker 1: a beautiful budding friendship. Um, we have a dating expert.
Speaker 1: We've had a lot of uh, you know, posers and
Speaker 1: infiltrators on the podcast, ourselves included, but we finally have
Speaker 1: an expert that's willing to help us answer some of
Speaker 1: these questions. Right, I think we I think, of course.
Speaker 1: Chris Tider's right here. He's Chris Cider. Everybody, lads and gentlemen.
Speaker 1: He is the host of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast,
Speaker 1: and you can get that wherever you listen to podcasts. Um,
Speaker 1: and is Chris Cider? Chris? How you doing, buddy? I'm
Speaker 1: doing well? Are you? I'm doing well? Man? Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us. So this is our first
Speaker 1: ever live help by second dating podcast, obviously virtually, so
Speaker 1: I really appreciate you coming on, uh and and and
Speaker 1: talking all things relationships, which is obviously what your podcast
Speaker 1: is about as well. But I do love the title
Speaker 1: of your podcast, the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast. Tell me
Speaker 1: what does that mean? Well? There's like two different meanings
Speaker 1: to it, right, So someone who wants to get their
Speaker 1: rex back can mean that, or someone who wants to
Speaker 1: recover from their breakup can mean that. So it's kind
Speaker 1: of playing with two birds one stone type mentality the
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend. I feel like there's a lot of women
Speaker 1: that are in this on this uh this live right
Speaker 1: now that are dealing with ex boyfriends. I feel like,
Speaker 1: as a guy and an ex boyfriend up until I
Speaker 1: obviously started dating and then married my wife, Uh, it's
Speaker 1: just like X has always come around. They never go away.
Speaker 1: Why is that? Is it just comfortableity? Is it because
Speaker 1: we already know what we're getting ourselves into. So what
Speaker 1: I've noticed is usually when you move on, they start
Speaker 1: to come back, which is sort of like this maybe
Speaker 1: concept of letting them go, and they're kind of like
Speaker 1: feeling a little bit of regret and they start to
Speaker 1: get romanticize the past the little bit, And I think
Speaker 1: that happens a lot, So that that's my take on it.
Speaker 1: I guess I feel like, as you're alluded to just
Speaker 1: a minute ago, as we've all kind of been in
Speaker 1: that situation where we've been an ex boyfriend. If you
Speaker 1: haven't been an ex boyfriend or a next girlfriend. I
Speaker 1: guess granted our listeners are probably must a female. Good
Speaker 1: for you, because I would say nine point nine percent
Speaker 1: of us have been a next at some point. And
Speaker 1: there's always these feelings of it. You're like, well, maybe
Speaker 1: I should just get back with my acts, Maybe I
Speaker 1: should give it another shot, maybe I didn't put my
Speaker 1: effort into it. And there's always like these lingering questions
Speaker 1: at like what if you know what I mean, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think for sure that what if is kind of
Speaker 1: the cusp of everything you know, people feel. You know,
Speaker 1: they say that the like the third biggest regret in
Speaker 1: life is like not telling someone that you loved them,
Speaker 1: not taking your shots. So I feel like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of that going on with people who sort of
Speaker 1: romanticize the past after a certain amount of time. So
Speaker 1: from my own personal experience, and it's hard to explain,
Speaker 1: but my wife and I we never really were boyfriend girlfriend,
Speaker 1: but we kind of had a fling and then we
Speaker 1: were just friends for a long time and then we
Speaker 1: started dating and now we are married. So my question
Speaker 1: is a lot of people um get back with their
Speaker 1: X and then they're accused of settling. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: they'll they'll they'll break up and then they'll move on
Speaker 1: and they get back and they're like, oh, you're settling
Speaker 1: for that person, You're going back. So my question is
Speaker 1: do you think that that's true? Um? Do you think
Speaker 1: that it's healthy to have a break up in a
Speaker 1: relationship and then come back together. So I think one
Speaker 1: of the most unhealthy type of behaviors I've seen is
Speaker 1: this on again, off again type situation people fall into
Speaker 1: where they break up and then they get back together
Speaker 1: and they break up again. And I find with people
Speaker 1: like that, the challenge really isn't getting their X back,
Speaker 1: it's more like keeping the relationship so you don't have
Speaker 1: that off again phase. And with regards to the settling,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times the reason people do
Speaker 1: that is they have a bit of this grass is
Speaker 1: greener syndrome. So a lot of times when you go
Speaker 1: through a breakup, you're in this situation where you're thinking
Speaker 1: you can do better than the person you're with, and
Speaker 1: then sometimes that's not always proven true. And so I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily think the people who go back to their
Speaker 1: X is, at least in the moment, feel that they're settling.
Speaker 1: But maybe that's that stereotypical pressure coming from outside that
Speaker 1: creates the narrative that you're settling. That's I guess that's
Speaker 1: my take on it. Yeah, yeah, that's I mean. But
Speaker 1: the way that Chris speaks, it's very profound, and I
Speaker 1: I have no issue with agreeing everything that's, agreeing with
Speaker 1: everything that he's saying. But we do have some listener
Speaker 1: questions Chris that we want to get to. Um So
Speaker 1: Danielle wants to know why do people go to each
Speaker 1: other rather than say they're just not interested? What's your
Speaker 1: take on that? My take is they're afraid of the confrontation.
Speaker 1: You know, it's amazing what people do to avoid the confrontation.
Speaker 1: So it's sometimes just easier to cut them out completely.
Speaker 1: So the ghost and I think with the advent of texting,
Speaker 1: that is a lot more common now than it used
Speaker 1: to be, where you'd have to go take them on
Speaker 1: the day and just sort of have the talk. You know, well,
Speaker 1: you don't have to do that anymore. You have like
Speaker 1: simple like oh, just block their number, which is not
Speaker 1: the best way to treat someone, but you can see
Speaker 1: how convenient it is. I have a friend that's kind
Speaker 1: of going through a weird situation right now where they
Speaker 1: are with someone, but they're still talking to their ex,
Speaker 1: and while they want to be with the person they're
Speaker 1: dating right now, they're still harboring some feelings for their
Speaker 1: ex and they feel that it's They also feel so
Speaker 1: bad because the x ones like wants to get back
Speaker 1: together with them, So they feel like it's almost better
Speaker 1: to kind of try to be nice to them and
Speaker 1: communicate and not just completely shut things off, because they
Speaker 1: feel like that would be harsher than actually cutting off communication.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's true or do you think it's
Speaker 1: just best to completely cut off communication and give them
Speaker 1: the opportunity to move on with their life. I think
Speaker 1: it depends on the goal of the person. If you
Speaker 1: want to move on, I think it's best just to
Speaker 1: cut off communication to move on. Um, if you don't
Speaker 1: want to move on. One thing we know is that
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship with someone else and you
Speaker 1: start talking to your ex a lot. If you're talking
Speaker 1: to your ex a lot, it is a sign that
Speaker 1: you're not as satisfied as you think in the current
Speaker 1: relationship you're in. I mean, it's like not rocket science,
Speaker 1: but you'd be kind of surprised at how little people
Speaker 1: realize that. So I'm wondering if maybe so if your friend,
Speaker 1: if he's or she, I don't know the situation exactly,
Speaker 1: but if she's or he's talking to their ex, I'm wondering,
Speaker 1: is it just out of being nice or you mentioned
Speaker 1: there's some unresolved feelings there, so maybe a bit of
Speaker 1: that grass is greener syndrome is happening to him. Yeah maybe.
Speaker 1: I mean I hate saying I'm not gonna say who
Speaker 1: it is, obviously, but like I hate saying it's like
Speaker 1: my friend, because then people would be like, oh, it's him,
Speaker 1: It's definitely not me. I'm happily married. But uh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just uh. I was very curious about that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've been through situations like that. I remember I was.
Speaker 1: I had a breakup years ago that it was just
Speaker 1: like we talked about one of those really bad long
Speaker 1: breakups because we dated for a while and it was
Speaker 1: kind of like on and off again, and you know,
Speaker 1: we would meet up because it's like, hey, I don't
Speaker 1: I still want you a part of my life, But
Speaker 1: then we'd meet up and then you know, hook up
Speaker 1: and it was just like this endless cycle and and uh,
Speaker 1: it wasn't healthy for either one of us really. But Dean,
Speaker 1: do you want to get back to the listener questions?
Speaker 1: Do you have another one? Yeah, so we have a
Speaker 1: we have another one from Martina who wants to know
Speaker 1: it does distance or time actually make the heart grow fonder? Chris?
Speaker 1: What do you think about that? Yes, time for sure
Speaker 1: can make the heart grow fonder, But I don't think
Speaker 1: it's just like so a lot of people talk about
Speaker 1: this concept playing hard to get, and that is psychologically
Speaker 1: proven to be effective. Yet I will say the aspect
Speaker 1: of playing hard to get is you have to at
Speaker 1: least engage in some type of communication. You know, it's
Speaker 1: sort of like the hot and cold type aspect. So
Speaker 1: I think distance can make the heart grow fonder and
Speaker 1: time can make the heart grow fonder if there's some
Speaker 1: type of communication being involved to make the person really
Speaker 1: satisfied in the interaction. So yes, But is one of
Speaker 1: those sort of answers to it, you know? There there's
Speaker 1: always kind of And to your point, I was gonna say, Uh,
Speaker 1: I've been playing hard to get with Kendall Jenner for
Speaker 1: quite a few years now and you're right about them
Speaker 1: having to know that you might be interested in the
Speaker 1: first place, I went and I went that. I mean, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: you know we've all got our celebrity crushes, all right.
Speaker 1: Fair enough, fair enough, my friend. UM, I have another
Speaker 1: I have another question for you. Do you think that, um,
Speaker 1: social media has more of a negative or positive effects
Speaker 1: on relationships and dating? I think it can be what
Speaker 1: you make it, because a lot of times on social media,
Speaker 1: I don't think people are putting themselves forward there, like
Speaker 1: you know, they're cropping pictures to make sure it's the
Speaker 1: best picture, the best version of themselves. I've I've heard
Speaker 1: some really horrible horror stories from people that I work
Speaker 1: with where they go on dates expecting, you know, the
Speaker 1: the dating profile picture to be exactly who they get
Speaker 1: on the on the date, and it's not at all.
Speaker 1: So I think there's that element. I think if you
Speaker 1: use it effectively, it can be really a powerful tool,
Speaker 1: especially in today's dating environment. But I do see some
Speaker 1: negative aspects to it, especially we're kind of living more
Speaker 1: of our lives, especially now more than ever with the
Speaker 1: quarantine digitally as opposed to just being in the moment
Speaker 1: and kind of enjoying each other's company in person. So
Speaker 1: we've all been single at some point in our lives,
Speaker 1: especially with Instagram around and whenever you would like find
Speaker 1: a girl attractive or q on Instagram and you wanted
Speaker 1: to like maybe get to know the more and slide
Speaker 1: into the vms or whatever. What I found out, what
Speaker 1: the practice that I incorporated later on was pictures, as
Speaker 1: Chris said, are one thing. They can be highly doctored,
Speaker 1: highly edited. Whatever. I would always look for, like the
Speaker 1: videos that they have on their feet, and if there
Speaker 1: was like a video of them, even just like a
Speaker 1: selfie video of them doing something, you can get a
Speaker 1: much clearer image of who the person is going to be.
Speaker 1: Not only because of it you can't doctor a video
Speaker 1: quite as much, but they're like their mannerisms are obviously
Speaker 1: much more apparent in those videos, you know what I mean. Well, well,
Speaker 1: what's interesting is that you bring up the video thing.
Speaker 1: That's something I've seen a lot of success with because
Speaker 1: of the seven thirty five rule, which basically is talking
Speaker 1: about how we perceive communication. Seven percent of how we
Speaker 1: perceive communication is words, thirty eight percent is a tone
Speaker 1: of voice, in fifty is body language. With videos, you're
Speaker 1: kind of engaging all of that aspect versus just like
Speaker 1: the d M s, you're just texting back and forth essentially. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember heard the seven five yeld But that that
Speaker 1: makes that makes a lot of sense with something we're
Speaker 1: going to store away in the memory banks, all right.
Speaker 1: Chris Becky wants to know how do you get out
Speaker 1: of the talking stage, which even probably is more challenging
Speaker 1: now during COVID because all we have to do is
Speaker 1: sit around and talk on our phones, but we can't
Speaker 1: quite meet up as often. So what do you recommend
Speaker 1: for the people that are trying to get out of
Speaker 1: the talking stage. I think trying to, you know, put
Speaker 1: the seven will into practice where you're not just texting,
Speaker 1: because I'm assuming what she says talking, she's just texting
Speaker 1: back and forth, back and forth. Maybe sliding a video
Speaker 1: entering a video chat, doing something of that nature to
Speaker 1: sort of spice things up a little bit might be
Speaker 1: a good route to go. I I agree that there's
Speaker 1: gotta be like, uh, there's gotta be like a thing
Speaker 1: to have, Like there has to be I don't I
Speaker 1: guess like a like a like a an idea where
Speaker 1: you're not like just like, let's stop talking, let's moving forward.
Speaker 1: You have to like basically not like Aggamon, but like
Speaker 1: create an event or some sort to like coax them
Speaker 1: into being more comfortable with the idea of like progressing
Speaker 1: past talking stage. You know what I mean. Like, let's
Speaker 1: say you go like an inside joke where you both
Speaker 1: love bunt cakes. You're like, let's go get a bunt
Speaker 1: cake together, you know what I mean, Like, there's gonna
Speaker 1: be like, in my opinion, there's got to be like
Speaker 1: some event or some moment that's like very essential to
Speaker 1: any progression of a relationship. And asked the stem from
Speaker 1: something early on in the talking stage. I think one
Speaker 1: thing I tell my clients is, like, what you want
Speaker 1: are virgin ground topics, Like you want to get so
Speaker 1: in depth in a conversation with that person that they're
Speaker 1: talking to you about things that they've never told anyone
Speaker 1: else before. Um, And certainly I don't think you know
Speaker 1: the inside jokes what you're talking about is kind of
Speaker 1: an important aspect as well, But I think you need
Speaker 1: to kind of if you if you're stuck on the
Speaker 1: talking stage, my guess is you're not talking about ideas,
Speaker 1: You're talking about people or events in Great Minds always
Speaker 1: talk about ideas out bunt cake ideas, bunts. If we're
Speaker 1: gonna leave you with one thing on this podcast, it
Speaker 1: is bunt cake ideas. You want to know what's funny,
Speaker 1: As I said, I said bunt cakes. And the reason
Speaker 1: that I said bunt cakes was because there was this
Speaker 1: girl in college but I had a huge crush on
Speaker 1: that worked at a bunt cake shop and I would
Speaker 1: often use bunt cakes as an excuse to like, go
Speaker 1: see here, So I was like drawn from some some
Speaker 1: passive label. You've labeled that experience the bunt cake thing.
Speaker 1: So it's like any kind of cake. Yeah, okay, I
Speaker 1: like it, yeah exactly. And everyone that's listening is feel
Speaker 1: free to to steal that. And and I want to
Speaker 1: point out it was effective, but we did date for
Speaker 1: a little bit, obviously long term, not quite as effective,
Speaker 1: but we were able to explore relationship and realize that
Speaker 1: it wasn't for us. So the bunk cake works to
Speaker 1: get the girl but not keep the girl, essentially, is
Speaker 1: what you're saying. Well, there's gotta be more than just
Speaker 1: partakes as a foundation for relationship, right right right? Um, Chris,
Speaker 1: you're the man we appreciate you coming on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing your wise words. Um and Jared
Speaker 1: pointed out you have a podcast as well. Please feel
Speaker 1: free to shore that with the listeners and we'll be
Speaker 1: sure to check it out as well. What's the most
Speaker 1: name of the podcast? Yeah, it's simple Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast.
Speaker 1: You can get it wherever the podcast live. You know
Speaker 1: iTunes that you're Spotify, love it. You're the man. We
Speaker 1: appreciate you coming in. We appreciate you sharing your wisdom
Speaker 1: with us. Than We'll be sure to check that out.
Speaker 1: See you. What about Yeah, Jared, right now there were
Speaker 1: to to co hosts co hosting a podcast, as co
Speaker 1: hosts do for a podcast. We saw Ashley and a
Speaker 1: little puppy dog making appearance just the second. Well, this
Speaker 1: is not my puppy dog. This is food sheet. Oh
Speaker 1: come here, Fushi. So this is Fushi. This is Crystal's
Speaker 1: dog es. Do you guys love your multipoos? Look look
Speaker 1: at this ship too? Is this like a Rhode Island
Speaker 1: thing to be obsessed with? These kinds of little dogs
Speaker 1: that you guys all have. Look at this little bit.
Speaker 1: Oh dude, you have Pappy. Pappy's a small dog. You
Speaker 1: can see up the obsession. I agree, but you have
Speaker 1: you have a very similar you have two of the
Speaker 1: same dog. Your parents have a similar dog. Crystal's got
Speaker 1: the dog the doora wile. Don't get me wrong. It
Speaker 1: looks at little walk. It looks like it's supposed to
Speaker 1: be running around tattooing or something. But it's yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say more you are, but that's that's just
Speaker 1: you know, beauty disagree. Anyways, first live podcast, dude, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say it was a success, even though there's a
Speaker 1: little bit of a lag time between saying and hearing
Speaker 1: and speaking. It's like I can talk over each other
Speaker 1: that but we do have some questions from our from
Speaker 1: our listeners. They're pressing and they want to know some things.
Speaker 1: So let's ask a couple of questions amongst each other.
Speaker 1: So this one's from Eliza. She says, who's your bigger
Speaker 1: man crush, Mike Johnson or Tyler See? And I think
Speaker 1: this applies to both of us, And I think I
Speaker 1: know your answer before you're gonna say, You're gonna say
Speaker 1: Mike Johnson because we had and he is dreaming, And yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say Mike Johnson. Just because, like I said before,
Speaker 1: he reminds me of of of Will Smith and Bad Boys,
Speaker 1: who's like Mike Larry, one of my favorite movie character
Speaker 1: of all time. So John, I'm gonna say Mike Johnson too,
Speaker 1: which is crazy for me because we all know I've
Speaker 1: got a big man crush on Tyler See, but huge.
Speaker 1: I will say. I'm working on um focusing more on
Speaker 1: the things that I do know about people rather than
Speaker 1: things I don't know about people. And I don't know
Speaker 1: Tyler See, so I put him on this big pedestal.
Speaker 1: He's probably gonna disappoint me. And because of that, Mike
Speaker 1: Johnson all the way. What other questions do we have,
Speaker 1: Jared that we can answer right now? I actually can't
Speaker 1: read the chats, So do you mind reading the questions?
Speaker 1: It's all blurry to me. Yeah, I would be happy
Speaker 1: to the WiFi that I'm stealing from the hotel allows
Speaker 1: me to read the chat and your own your crystals
Speaker 1: WiFi doesn't like to you, all right. This one's from Brielle.
Speaker 1: Brielle wants to know, similar to what we asked Evan,
Speaker 1: what is your cheesecake factory order? Jared? Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I Eastern is gonna really hate me for this one.
Speaker 1: I don't go to the cheesecake factory all that much.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, I am all for cheesecake factory. I'm
Speaker 1: all for chain restaurants, Big Friday's, Guy, Apple, Applebee's, Chili's,
Speaker 1: cheesecake Factory, I'm all in. But you know, I guess
Speaker 1: i'd probably say, you know, chicken fingers and fry, something
Speaker 1: something easy, something traditional, something tasty. It's pretty basic. And
Speaker 1: I will say Eastern are one of our producers of
Speaker 1: those podcasts listening to this and judging both of us
Speaker 1: very hard for answers right now. And I'm also going
Speaker 1: to give a very uninspired I'm gonna give it an
Speaker 1: inspired answer. I think my go to UH is I
Speaker 1: can't remember if this take practory somewhere else, but the
Speaker 1: barbecue chicken salad is very very good, delicious east And
Speaker 1: the reason we're referencing Easton because Eastern travels around the
Speaker 1: country and goes to different cheesecake factories. I think he's
Speaker 1: been to like thirty different cheesecake batories, if not more.
Speaker 1: I I might be low balling that. I'm not sure. Honestly,
Speaker 1: very very very impressive on Eastan's part. All right, this
Speaker 1: one's frown Terrence, Terrence, thanks for asking a question. Uh,
Speaker 1: they want to know what do you guys think of
Speaker 1: the whole bachelor atte switch? And we talked about this
Speaker 1: a little bit just the other day when we didn't
Speaker 1: any last weekly. Uh, they're allegedly was a switch from
Speaker 1: Claire Crawley as bachelorette over to Tasia Adams is the bachelorette,
Speaker 1: which was operating on that assumption, Jared, because I know
Speaker 1: you you've been to Laquinta. You can't divulge anything, but
Speaker 1: operating the assumption that we went from Claire to Taitia.
Speaker 1: What are your opinions on that. I know, I know
Speaker 1: things that you guys don't and I still don't know
Speaker 1: because they don't tell me anything. Uh, as you know,
Speaker 1: you know the room, and they're like, all right, well
Speaker 1: we'll tell you what you need to know and then
Speaker 1: tell you nothing of that. I would say, listen, I
Speaker 1: love Cla. Claire is a badass, per woman who's stunning, uh,
Speaker 1: and I think she will make an incredible bachelorette. And
Speaker 1: if the rumors are true and Tastia is the bachelorette
Speaker 1: as well, Tassia is another badass woman who is stunning
Speaker 1: and kind hearted and someone that both Ashley and myself
Speaker 1: are big fans of, just like Claire. Uh. And so
Speaker 1: if there's an opportunity for both these women to find love,
Speaker 1: I'm all in, like, let's do it. I to watch
Speaker 1: them both fall in love, that'd be great. It's so
Speaker 1: weird though, because like they're and this is you know,
Speaker 1: all over the news circuit as well. US Weekly like
Speaker 1: posted photos of of Claire and Chris Harrison filming something
Speaker 1: the other day. So Claire is still down there filming,
Speaker 1: So who the hell knows what is going on? But
Speaker 1: you know, I give them all the props in the
Speaker 1: world because, like we've said this before. I know Fushi,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Fush's whining right now. Uh. He's
Speaker 1: very concerned about why these things are in my ears. Uh.
Speaker 1: And I'm talking to a computer by myself. Um listen,
Speaker 1: I I just say, they always top themselves. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: It's freaking show. Like just when you think that they
Speaker 1: peak and it's like, wow, they can't get any better
Speaker 1: than that boom they got better than that. Well better
Speaker 1: better is a subjective word, all right, One quick. Last
Speaker 1: year has actually been east has been the thirty two
Speaker 1: cheesecake factories not thirty very easy to make, and I
Speaker 1: just don't want I don't want easton you were I
Speaker 1: don't want easy to come back to us and be
Speaker 1: like listen, guys at the thirty two. So so Eason
Speaker 1: has been a thirty two different chieh take factories very impressive.
Speaker 1: And in the last final question before we wrap up
Speaker 1: our final final, I'm sorry, first ever live podcast it
Speaker 1: might be quickly because I don't know the answer. But Jared,
Speaker 1: do you know the answer of who Nick Vial is dating? Uh?
Speaker 1: I mean that's a question, Damn I do uh kind
Speaker 1: of I'm certainly not saying it here. Uh if he
Speaker 1: is dating someone? Uh, you know. I mean, so you
Speaker 1: do know who he's dating, but you don't know if
Speaker 1: he's dating someone. I don't know. I love Nick, but
Speaker 1: he doesn't share his personal romantic life with me as
Speaker 1: often as he might have used to. I don't know, dude,
Speaker 1: but he also doesn't share with anybody like that. Guy
Speaker 1: plays things so close to the chest, like things that
Speaker 1: just don't need to be played close to the chest,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like bro just freaking
Speaker 1: tell me, and he's like, oh, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just hope that guy is happy. I really do. He's like, dude,
Speaker 1: he truly is, like I know I always is, but
Speaker 1: he's like the closest thing I have to a brother,
Speaker 1: because like there are times man where I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: what do you Why are you being such a dick
Speaker 1: right now? And then I'm like, but I also love you.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's like that brotherly type of relationship.
Speaker 1: And uh, I'm I'm on such like a comfortable level
Speaker 1: with Nick right now. I really enjoy it because I
Speaker 1: I used to be intimidated by him, like I would
Speaker 1: never say what I actually meant, even when we started
Speaker 1: becoming friends. Uh, and now I just say whatever is
Speaker 1: on my mind, and I've I found that it's really
Speaker 1: helped our friendship. I love it. I love it. Well,
Speaker 1: since you want to share who he's dating, we can
Speaker 1: only speculate. Uh So I guess we'll just continue to
Speaker 1: speculate anyways. That's gonna do it for a first ever
Speaker 1: live help I suck at dating. I know that we
Speaker 1: wanted to be under different circumstances where we could actually
Speaker 1: have an auditorium filled with thousands and thousands of our
Speaker 1: fans and listeners and um bring people on stage and
Speaker 1: throw parties and take fireball shots and all these things
Speaker 1: that we've dreamed of doing every single night since. But
Speaker 1: for now, this is all we got. And honestly, I
Speaker 1: had a great time. I hope you guys listening and
Speaker 1: watching had a great time as well. Big thank you
Speaker 1: to Mike Johnson, Taylor Nolan, and Chris Uh Chris as well.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm forgetting anyone, am I. Anyways, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter getting anyone, Because I almost said it too,
Speaker 1: I was almost like, wait a minute. Big thank you
Speaker 1: to Evan Passable for joining us and being a guest
Speaker 1: on our podcast. He's he's very charismatic and handsome uh
Speaker 1: digitally as well, So big thank you to you, Deane
Speaker 1: are always being a handsome, wonderful person you are and
Speaker 1: really just carrying this podcast. Uh. And I truly mean that.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm confident in uh in my ability, but you
Speaker 1: are truly the talent my friend, and I have no
Speaker 1: quarrel like that. I really don't. Thank you to all
Speaker 1: the listeners. Thank you to everybody who tuned in, who
Speaker 1: bought tickets. Like the idea that you guys paid money,
Speaker 1: uh to be with us is something UH that's awesome
Speaker 1: and uh, I just can't tell you how how grateful
Speaker 1: we are for that. Um and uh hopefully we'll move
Speaker 1: back at studio at some point soon. I felt like
Speaker 1: we're really catching our groove. Man. We were headed for
Speaker 1: that People's Choice award. I actually so I ate hidese food.
Speaker 1: Tonight got a fortune cookie that said I was gonna
Speaker 1: win an award soon, and the first thing that went
Speaker 1: my mind was, like People's Choice Awards, help us suck
Speaker 1: a dating best live podcast. It's coming up. I I
Speaker 1: can feel it in my blood. I do. I have
Speaker 1: one more big thank you, and that is to the
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon in for letting me park in their parking
Speaker 1: lot and steal the WiFi for the past hour and
Speaker 1: a half. I think thank you for not even knowing
Speaker 1: that Dean was there. I'm like a full incognito mode
Speaker 1: where like the I belt, like the blinds down and
Speaker 1: so like no one can see end of the van,
Speaker 1: but I can, you know, obviously, still operate and function
Speaker 1: appropriately and properly. I didn't think that this wife I
Speaker 1: was gonna being kick Kaitlyn out of the van while
Speaker 1: you recorded this is she just like sitting outside. Well,
Speaker 1: so we're actually staying in a hotel tonight under canvas
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon, and it's like ten minutes away. And I
Speaker 1: was just like, you know what, I just stay here
Speaker 1: with copy, takes some photos and I'm gonna be on
Speaker 1: for an hour and a half. Well, me and suck
Speaker 1: Army changed the world. And she was like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: totally fine. Uh So Jesus, she's back sitting in the
Speaker 1: in the TP that we're staying in for the next
Speaker 1: couple of nights. But anyways, that's gonna do it for
Speaker 1: this episode of Help I Suck at Dating. Every episode
Speaker 1: gets better and better. Jared, I love you so much.
Speaker 1: This is fantastic. Uh. To our listeners and to our
Speaker 1: to our watchers, thank you guys for tuning in. As
Speaker 1: Jared said, if you paid the ten dollars, great, If
Speaker 1: you paid the thirty dollars, I hope you enjoy your beanie.
Speaker 1: I should have worn mine and that was just bad
Speaker 1: marketing on my point. But thank you so much for
Speaker 1: tuning in. Be sure to tune next week because maybe
Speaker 1: we'll all suck just a little bit less. Follow help
Speaker 1: by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcast