1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,920 Speaker 1: Guys, we got some relevant comments and then are big updates. 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: So pixel Spartan one one seven says OPI did she 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: actually acknowledge that the touching by her was inappropriate? I 4 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: do not see how she could have not recognized how 5 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: touchy they were and her lack of physical touch with you. 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: Like many others have said, I'm not sure Jordan was 7 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: being completely honest with you. Did you ask her how 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,799 Speaker 1: she would have felt in a reverse situation, if the 9 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 1: three of you meet again and you want to think 10 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: about excusing yourself to go to the bathroom or something 11 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: during the meal, and instead hide and film the reaction 12 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: while you are gone. Oh boy, See if Jordan changes 13 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: how he interacts when you were not there? 14 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 2: Who absolutely, this is a lot. 15 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: I say to capture it on your phone, because then 16 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,840 Speaker 1: you have to show it to her if you break up. 17 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,919 Speaker 1: If she interacts appropriately while you were gone, then she 18 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: may not have gotten the message. She should also start 19 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: limiting her interactions with him to phone slash text, because 20 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 1: that relationship is not healthy. No significant others should have 21 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: to deal with that. If you two end up getting married, 22 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,320 Speaker 1: it needs to be dealt with. 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 3: Now. 24 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: Hope your response to that she did acknowledge that all 25 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 1: the touching was inappropriate. Yes, when she actually thought back 26 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: on how much they were doing it and how over 27 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: the top it was, she seemed embarrassed and realized and 28 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: she shouldn't have started acting like that just because Mark 29 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: seems to think that it's normal. I didn't ask her 30 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: how she'd feel in the reverse situation, because it seemed 31 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: like she got it immediately as soon as I told 32 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 1: her how it made me feel. So it's like, hey, 33 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: don't I don't need to twist the knife when she's 34 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 1: already there. Specific Bag seventy four O one says a 35 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: lot of what you detail still sounds weird, especially the 36 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,199 Speaker 1: part where she still didn't want to make Mark feel 37 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: left out because he was visiting with a couple, him 38 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: being a single man. Quick side note, I've never I've 39 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: never had an issue with that, Like I've always hung 40 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: out with other people with my partner, and it's I've 41 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: never been. 42 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 3: Like, oh, Christian. Christian literally has has been around every 43 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 3: single one of my girlfriends for a massive amount of time. 44 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and again, it's like the test of like, you know, 45 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: if you and your partner get along, you and your 46 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,799 Speaker 1: friends get along. It should it should mesh well and 47 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: if it's just friends hanging out, yeah, exactly. 48 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 3: I feel something I like, something I think that makes 49 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 3: a relationship easier is like, if everyone can hang out 50 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 3: with each other, then you don't have to choose between 51 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 3: like like friendships and relationship. But if it's if it's 52 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 3: in two separate places, then you feel like you have 53 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 3: to choose between, which is like fine too, but I 54 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,239 Speaker 3: deal it for all a line, then you don't have 55 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,639 Speaker 3: to choose, Yes, indeed, but there's still like a need 56 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 3: to have like one in one time with your partner totally. 57 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't just get third wheels twenty. 58 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 3: Which my last girlfriend made very clear, like we can't 59 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 3: always hang out with Christian when we're going on dates. 60 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 2: Mark in no way visited with a couple. 61 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: If Jordan is so empathetic read the original issue, she 62 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,399 Speaker 1: sure missed showing any empathy for you. I don't think 63 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: you will experience much difference with the next encounter with 64 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: all three of you. You're very enthusiastic to give Jordan 65 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: a pass. This will continue to haunt you. You don't 66 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: seem to think that you deserve to have this made right. 67 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: Jordan has a very wide birth. I guess like a 68 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: lot of long leash. 69 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, long leash. There we go. I wish you the best. 70 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 2: You you just seem to feel like you deserve so little. 71 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 2: It's so sad. I hope he responds to that. 72 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: I do agree with you that it still sounds weird, 73 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: but with some more context, I'm just more comfortable with it. 74 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong. I still didn't. 75 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: Appreciate being treated like a third reel It dinner, and 76 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: I still thought that Mark and Jordan were too handsy 77 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: with each other. Uh, just in general, and I'm not 78 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: a okay with that continuing. But if she's just being 79 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: honest with me that it's not because of romantic feelings, 80 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: which I think she is being honest, then I think 81 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: as long as she's willing to have boundaries from now 82 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: and after understanding that it made me uncomfortable, I don't think. 83 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 2: Is as much as a red flag as I thought before. 84 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 3: Again, it's a big if it's a big. If it's 85 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 3: a big, as you know, I think the time will 86 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 3: tell she's actually making the adjustments needed. 87 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 2: Exactly could it could be okay, but we need to 88 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 2: see now. 89 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: In a lengthy comment, Opie is asked to consider whether 90 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: it's not a matter of Jordan Jordan being believable, but 91 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: that she wants that he wants to believe her so 92 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:48,359 Speaker 1: strongly that he is subconsciously subvert subverting his standards for judgment. 93 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,919 Speaker 1: In other words, he wants a relationship to go on 94 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,239 Speaker 1: so bad that he's like kind of giving her the pass, 95 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: even though she might. 96 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 2: Not deserve it. 97 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: That's a really wealth that I'll comment, and I appreciate 98 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,840 Speaker 1: you taking the time to write it. And I absolutely 99 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: do understand why everyone thinks I'm just letting Jordan gas 100 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: like me, And honestly, I'd probably think the same if 101 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,559 Speaker 1: someone else was telling me the story, So I can't 102 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: really blame everyone, But I truly don't think I'm being 103 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: steered by wanting to believe her. It's hard to convey 104 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: everything that happened when we talked into one post, but 105 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: I'm just very sure that she was being genuine and 106 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: that it convinced me that I could believe that she 107 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: was just saying what she meant. It wasn't that I 108 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: just stopped being objective because that was the easier thing 109 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,040 Speaker 1: to do. Honestly, I think I would have it would 110 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: have been easier to keep assuming that what I thought 111 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: in the first place was true, because honestly, it's easier 112 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: for me to understand that she, you know, has feelings 113 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: for this guy right that she wants to be with him. 114 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: I do think that Jordan's attachment to Mark is weird 115 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: and probably unhealthy, and even if she doesn't think so, 116 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: I think there's more than just friendship going on from 117 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: his side of things. But I think Jordan is being 118 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: honest that she's not in love with him and that 119 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: she wants to be with me and not with him, 120 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 1: and that was the thing that was making me question 121 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: the relationship. The other stuff that I do still take 122 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: issue with, I think can be worked out as long 123 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: as Jordan takes seriously that she can't be acting in 124 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: any way with Mark that disrespects me and our relationship, 125 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: even if it's in her head, it's not in a 126 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 1: romantic way, and from the way our talk went, I 127 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: think I can trust her to do so. So, again 128 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 1: to what Sam was saying, it's basically moving forward. We 129 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: got to see how she actually acts from here. By 130 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: the way, you can always act right by tapping our 131 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 1: profile and joining our livestream. 132 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,720 Speaker 2: Every weekday at three PMPST. 133 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 3: We'll give you forehead gisses. 134 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,919 Speaker 2: Wow, well Sam, will you know what? 135 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 3: I John have a girlfriend? 136 00:06:55,640 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 2: Fy, Not today, tomorrow, any other day. 137 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: Guys, There's there's more. We're about to get into the 138 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: second fat update. That's two and a half months later 139 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: that Riley tells us there's fat. It's it's good, It's 140 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: really good. It's really good. But before we get into 141 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: this update. 142 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 3: I just feel like we don't have all the information 143 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 3: to make a decision until we see how she like. 144 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 3: We've had the conversation, which is great, that's the starting place, 145 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 3: but we don't know until we see the next interaction. 146 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we're we're we're talking about the big fight, 147 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: the big game, but it has to happen to know. 148 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 3: How it's gonna be exactly exactly. 149 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: We can we can theorize the theories all we want, 150 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: but I get my bets. 151 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 3: My bets are it's not gonna go well. 152 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: I think that Bet, I honestly think that Mark is 153 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 1: going to reveal his true feelings and leave the church, 154 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: leave the church, or by whatever means, try to rope 155 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: her back in and rope her back in something like that, 156 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: And I think, Ope, leaves a relationship at that point 157 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: because like, yeah, it's too much, you know, I can't 158 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: have him too hot, too hot, too hot. Well, I 159 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: apologize if this isn't right. I've never tried to post 160 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: my profile on here before, but a lot of people 161 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: want an update, so I don't think I'm allowed to 162 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: post it on the original subreddit. 163 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 2: But the situation seems pretty resolved now. 164 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 3: Really, I don't believe it. After get some red flags. 165 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: Ooh, after Mike and Jordan had an argument over every everything, 166 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: they're no longer friends, lot twits. 167 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 3: I think maybe there was feelings on Mark's side. 168 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,839 Speaker 2: Now he's like, what do you mean we can't hold 169 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 2: hands and kiss each other. 170 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: What happened was that Jordan told Mark that we weren't 171 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 1: available to hang out when he came back through our city. 172 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,959 Speaker 1: He blamed me, saying that he could tell that Jordan 173 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: was only saying no to hanging out because I had 174 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: a problem with him. 175 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 2: Jordan admitted that this was part of. 176 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: The reason and told Mark that she wanted a bit 177 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: of space from him because she was trying to be 178 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: respectful of our relationship. 179 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:10,559 Speaker 3: Dude W response from the girlfriend w response W response 180 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 3: This is how you solve this. Oh well, that would 181 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 3: make me feel like very love, right, that would make 182 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 3: me feel love. 183 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: And I love how she's just being completely honest and 184 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, you know what, it is part of it. 185 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: But I'm trying to prioritize our relationship right now. And 186 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: I feel like if Mark really is her friend, he 187 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,960 Speaker 1: should respect that and understand that. 188 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 3: You know, I have a friend that's in a relationship 189 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 3: and her boyfriend is I think insecure around me and 190 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 3: we don't really talk that much anymore. And I respect 191 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 3: that because she's trying to prioritize the relationship. 192 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,680 Speaker 2: I don't like that guy. I mean, Sami kind of sucks. 193 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 2: He really does. When I first got here, I was like, 194 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 2: oh yeah, I meeting new people and stuff, trying to 195 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 2: talk to girls. He's like, dude, this way he got 196 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 2: you gotta go to And I was like, I don't. 197 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 2: This isn't me man. 198 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, he kind of like has like a not that 199 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 3: he kind of has like a douchey friend group. 200 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. 201 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: I mean, listen, if if your girl is around Sam 202 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 1: Surfer six pack Donner. 203 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 2: It might be a reason to be afraid. 204 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 3: Oh that sucks. We were friends for like five years. 205 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 2: But you're Sam's surfers expect Donner. 206 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a little I'm a little salty about it, 207 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 3: but I understand, I understand. 208 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 1: Mark got really offended and kept asking Jordan to explain 209 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:32,080 Speaker 1: why him being around was so disrespectful to our relationship 210 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: and kept pretending to not understand her answers, and then 211 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: eventually during the conversation, he started trying to guilt Jordan 212 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 1: into making time for him and told her that she's 213 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: become a worst person over the years because the Jordan 214 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,360 Speaker 1: he knew would never blow him off. 215 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,559 Speaker 3: She would just blow him off. 216 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: That upset Jordan a lot because she took it as 217 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: Mark saying that she was a bad person since she 218 00:10:58,640 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: left the church, which kind. 219 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 2: Of sounds like to me. 220 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: She started crying and she ended up hanging up on him. 221 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: Jordan and I talked a lot afterwards, and I told 222 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: her that I thought Mark was toxic because anyone else 223 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: would have been understanding of what she said. Jordan said 224 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,359 Speaker 1: that a lot of what he said during the conversation 225 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: reminded her of being in the church, and she said 226 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: that she couldn't explain it except that it was his attitude. 227 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 1: When he tried to argue with her, but that made 228 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,439 Speaker 1: her really not want to talk to him, even outside 229 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: of anything to do with our relationship. Mark texted her 230 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 1: the day after, asking if she really wasn't going to 231 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 1: come see him and if she was going to pick 232 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: some boyfriend over her only friend after he's been there 233 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: for her through everything. 234 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 3: Seems like nice guy. 235 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 2: This seems like nice guy. 236 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,520 Speaker 1: And it also makes me think back to you know, 237 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: when she was, you know, having a mental health crisis, 238 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,440 Speaker 1: when she was like you know, in her in her 239 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 1: late teens, that he had ulterior minds. 240 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 2: It's like you owe me now. Yeah, exactly exactly what. 241 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: Jordan texted Mark back, explaining her point again and saying 242 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: that their friendship couldn't be the same anymore as it 243 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,880 Speaker 1: used to be now that she was with someone, and 244 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: that he should understand that. 245 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. 246 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: Again, I feel like, you know, like you, while you 247 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: don't like love it, you totally understand and refrect and 248 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: respect your friend's you know, situation. Like I feel like 249 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 1: that should be the response here and this isn't even 250 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: I think this is like a way more like healthy setup. 251 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean. 252 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 1: Mark texted Jordan that he couldn't believe that she'd treat 253 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 1: her best friend like that. Jordan tried to text Mark, 254 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 1: saying that a friend wouldn't be guilt tripping her, but 255 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: it turned out that he had blocked her number. 256 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 3: That is so whack on Mark, so whack, so whack. 257 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: After that, Jordan was feeling like she'd done something wrong 258 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,719 Speaker 1: and was too mean to Mark. But she and I 259 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: talked about it again and she realized that she was 260 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: right not to not to want to be friends with 261 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: Mark if he's going to treat her like she owes 262 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 1: him loyalty. 263 00:12:58,720 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 264 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: Jordan then blocked back, including on all her socials, so 265 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,559 Speaker 1: that if later he changes his mind and tries to apologize, she. 266 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 2: Can ignore him. 267 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: A couple of weeks went by, and while I admit 268 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: I was pretty happy about not hearing from Mark, Jordan 269 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 1: was really bummed about how everything ended, which makes sense, 270 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 1: you know, he did help her out back in the day. 271 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 1: She said that although she saw now that Mark isn't 272 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: a good person to have her in her life because 273 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: of his reaction to her trying to set a boundary, 274 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: she still felt sad and abandoned and it was bringing 275 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 1: back a lot of the same feelings as was she 276 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: was a teenager, and her other church friends alltern their 277 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: backs on her. So at this point I asked her 278 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 1: if she ever thought about going to therapy for religious trauma, 279 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 1: and she said that she'd gone for a few months 280 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 1: when she first left the church, but the therapist wasn't 281 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 1: really that helpful. I suggested that maybe it would be 282 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: a good idea to try again with a better therapist, 283 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: because it sounds like all the stuff still bothers her 284 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: a lot, and Jordan agreed with me and decided to 285 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,239 Speaker 1: make an appointment. She had a couple of therapy sessions 286 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 1: and says that so far they are good, but don't 287 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: I don't really ask her for any details on what 288 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 1: they talk about, so I can't really update you on 289 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:13,079 Speaker 1: that part of the situation. There are some relevant comments. Yeah, 290 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 1: how are really quick? How are we feeling about how 291 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: that all landed? 292 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 3: I mean, I think w on her part and it 293 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 3: kind of proves that there was something fishy, but it 294 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 3: was more on Mark's part than Opie's girlfriend. I think 295 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 3: this is like, this is kind of a really great 296 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 3: way to first align on what you believe to be 297 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 3: okay behavior in a relationship, which they then did because 298 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 3: like you said, like all right, my blue could be 299 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 3: your red. You know, maybe she didn't really understand that 300 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 3: there was anything wrong in this, and until OPI brought 301 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 3: it up, she's like, oh, okay, like I understand like 302 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 3: why you might be uncomfortable. 303 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 2: And it seems like that's more the case now with 304 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 2: everything to happen. 305 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 3: And she took these steps to to change that and 306 00:14:56,200 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 3: ensure that op felt safe in the relationship. I think 307 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 3: she did. I think she did a good job all 308 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 3: the right moves. Yeah. 309 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like it's it is sad, and I 310 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: do really feel for her that she lost a friend, 311 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: but at least kind of feels like everything's where it 312 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 1: should be in the sense that, like it seems Mark 313 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: had bad, bad motives. 314 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, so he's now removed. 315 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 3: So I went through this with that friend, right, and 316 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 3: she she texted me. I invited her on a run 317 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 3: and then she texted me and she's like, hey, like 318 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 3: I just had a talk with my boyfriend, like he 319 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 3: doesn't think it's a good idea for us to like 320 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 3: run together anymore. And I'm like that's okay, And I 321 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 3: invite I do this like philosophical discussion, like once every 322 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 3: month or something with a few friends, and she was 323 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 3: coming to that. I'm like, that's okay, I like would 324 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 3: love to stell you have you at the we call 325 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 3: them June does, And initially she was like coming to that, 326 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 3: and now she doesn't really come to those anymore. So 327 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 3: I think he's just like and like my response is like, hey, 328 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 3: totally understand if you want to if something changes, let 329 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 3: me know, But want you to have a thriving relationship. 330 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 2: You're not. 331 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 1: You're not like no o this to me, like you 332 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: making you a feel But no, not at all. 333 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 3: It's like, no, it still sucks, but it's like exactly, 334 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,120 Speaker 3: it's it sucks, but it's not. It's not something that 335 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 3: you should be salty about this situation. 336 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 1: These are completely different situations too. It's like they were 337 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: like touching all this. 338 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, you're just going on a run. 339 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I mean these are also yeah yeah, but 340 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 3: it's like but I think it's like, uh, they're on 341 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 3: the same like scale, although at different different different ends. 342 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: Same bucket, different ends. So some relevant comments. As i 343 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 1: q Tex says, Mark sounds toxic at this point. He 344 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: sounded iffy before, honestly, with the way he was so 345 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 1: positive he would have been with Jordan. But this is 346 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: not the way that you treat someone who is supposed 347 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: to be a friend. Uh, he wants to be her 348 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 1: number one friend. If he wants to be her number 349 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: one friend, he should try to actually being a friend 350 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: and listening. I assume he isn't because in his really religion, 351 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 1: the man is supposed to speak and the woman is 352 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:06,160 Speaker 1: supposed to listen. Yes, tell Jordan to try a different therapist. 353 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: If the therapist isn't working for her, that means that 354 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 1: she just has the wrong therapist. She can find a 355 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,360 Speaker 1: good one, and I really hope that she does. Opie responds, 356 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: agreat I didn't trust Mark when I thought that he 357 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: was in love with her, but seeing him be so 358 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 1: crappy and demanding really made it. 359 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,160 Speaker 2: Clear that he is just a piece of crap. 360 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 1: And Julia Valentine says, I've been reading these posts since 361 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 1: it first came out, and it sucks that it had 362 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 1: to turn out this way, but I think it's for 363 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 1: the better, especially the part of her trying to go 364 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: back to therapy too. Does she have other new friends 365 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,359 Speaker 1: not related to the church that she could rely on 366 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 1: to her having her own support system that is separate 367 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 1: from you, and Mark could also help her anyways. Wishing 368 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 1: all the best. Jordan seems like a very lovely girl, 369 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: and I'm glad you are both going strong outside of 370 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 1: the trauma, to which Opie says she does. We have 371 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: a few couples that were pretty close friends with and 372 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 1: she also has a bunch of friends from her work 373 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: who I know who she talks to about problems and. 374 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 2: All of that stuff. 375 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 3: Nice. Nicole N has a great comment where it's like 376 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 3: a real friend would respect boundaries and want your happiness 377 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 3: unless they feel like you are being controlled slash abused. 378 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 3: I think that's a yeah, that's it, great, great summary. 379 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 1: Okay, community they always come in close with that. Yeah, 380 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: that that is exactly. As long as someone's safety and 381 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,880 Speaker 1: well being is not not at risk, you should be 382 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 1: you know, respectful of their situation. 383 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,919 Speaker 3: Agreed, Agreed, agreed, agreed. 384 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,920 Speaker 1: I kind of agree with one of the commenters said, 385 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,680 Speaker 1: I think that it was good that it ended though 386 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,680 Speaker 1: even though it was it was really tough. I think 387 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: ultimately long term, even Jordan will be for the better 388 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,879 Speaker 1: because now she can, like you know, work through this 389 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 1: stuff through therapy, hopefully find friends that are like like 390 00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: in her quest to find friends that are not like Mark, 391 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: she'll find like a much you know, even more better 392 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 1: friend groups. 393 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 3: And Mark just sounds like a possessive friend, which is 394 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 3: not what you want in friendships that you want friendships 395 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 3: that support you and are not like jealous of other 396 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 3: relationships that you have in your life. 397 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: Exactly exactly, and do we think did Ope make any missteps? 398 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 3: I don't know if I would have done the yo, 399 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 3: are you trying to come into my girl thing? In 400 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:30,119 Speaker 3: the beginning. I understand why he did it, yeah, but 401 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 3: I don't know if I would have done that. I 402 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:36,360 Speaker 3: would I feel like I feel like, uh, I would talk. 403 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: To my girlfriend, talk to her in private first ye yeah, yeah, 404 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: but like I would say that was a pretty would 405 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 1: you say that's kind of like a minor offense or 406 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:45,439 Speaker 1: very matter? 407 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 3: Like that's like when asked, like, all right, what what 408 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 3: would I have changed? I think that's like the only 409 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,359 Speaker 3: thing I can think of. Yeah, that I was like, oh, 410 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 3: should I have said anything? The other thing maybe is 411 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 3: like saying it like right, like saying it right a 412 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 3: after Mark leaves, so to like having that conversation immediately 413 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 3: just so it's not like stewing in your head. 414 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 2: Good point. 415 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,440 Speaker 3: He waited a couple I think what he waited a 416 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 3: couple a few days. 417 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, at least we know. 418 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,680 Speaker 3: Which maybe it was just like, oh, he was trying 419 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 3: to figure out what he wanted to say. I think 420 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,840 Speaker 3: those are the two things that I might have changed. 421 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 3: But other than that, I think. 422 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think he did a lot of 423 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 2: things right. 424 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 1: And one of the things I like too is like 425 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: while he made like, there was a point where he 426 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,120 Speaker 1: was like thinking about, hey do I do I confront 427 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 1: her and be like you know, uh, you know, kind 428 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 1: of in a more accusatory way, and then he took 429 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,959 Speaker 1: a step back in his like processing and reading the 430 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: comments from everyone in the story and decided to lead 431 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 1: with like this is how I feel and this is 432 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,239 Speaker 1: how I felt about the situation, And I feel like 433 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,360 Speaker 1: him framing it that way and kind of like while 434 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: he made have maybe his initial thought was not the 435 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: one hundred percent the right move. He always like took 436 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 1: a beat to be thoughtful about it, and then the 437 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,880 Speaker 1: approach he then took was like a very good move, 438 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 1: I thought, which I liked that process, like, hey, you 439 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 1: don't have to have like the perfect moves like at 440 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 1: every step or like right the first reaction in your brain, 441 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: but like taking a beat to actually think, okay, what's 442 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: the best way to approach this, and then going into it. 443 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,199 Speaker 2: He did a really good job of that. 444 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:21,360 Speaker 3: I would say, no, yeah, I think it. I think 445 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:25,360 Speaker 3: it was like good good vibes worked out well. Yeah, yeah, 446 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 3: surprisingly I was save. 447 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 2: I mean, my prediction is terrible, So. 448 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,360 Speaker 3: I think that's where that story ends. 449 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 2: I think. 450 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 3: So, if you love us, make sure to subscribe we 451 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 3: love you, and see them all