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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business,

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Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering

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Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave

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Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beat.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Jeeky's.

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Speaker 3: I had a question of how to deal with toxic

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Speaker 3: family I recently found out of I'm gonna say SA

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Speaker 3: on two of my children from a family member, a

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Speaker 3: brother to be exact. And we're going through the whole

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Speaker 3: process of everything, but having to deal with the trauma

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Speaker 3: that my daughter. My daughter is grown now, she's an adult,

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Speaker 3: she has her family, but having now to deal with

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Speaker 3: her trauma and her healing and emotional breakdowns as she

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Speaker 3: has and everything, because now it's real having to go

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Speaker 3: through the betrayal of family. How did you deal with that.

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Speaker 3: How did you overcome that. That's something that's very hard

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Speaker 3: for me, especially the betrayal of my own family turning

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Speaker 3: their backs on us and everything. So I just need

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Speaker 3: some guidance.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Cynthia. First off, I'm very, very very

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Speaker 1: sorry for what you're going through. I feel your pain. Literally,

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Speaker 1: I know exactly what you're going through, your daughter's going through.

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Speaker 1: I am living proof that we can survive this and

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Speaker 1: thrive from this pain. Just know that it took me

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Speaker 1: a long time to realize that God's plan is perfect

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Speaker 1: because you think, okay, well, if God's plan is perfect

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Speaker 1: and he exists, then why did this happen to me?

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Speaker 1: And that's very easy, and that's a normal question, and

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Speaker 1: I get that. But just know that God gives the

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Speaker 1: toughest battles to those that can overcome it. So I

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Speaker 1: know that you guys will and I'll be praying for

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Speaker 1: you guys. The betrayal of a family member. In my case,

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Speaker 1: it was my dad who sexually abused me. And I

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Speaker 1: think the first thing is Babe forgiving and I know

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Speaker 1: that that is hard right now and this is a

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Speaker 1: very fresh wound, but the fastest way to heal that

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Speaker 1: wound is by forgiving, even if that person ever asks

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Speaker 1: for forgiveness or admits to it. My dad has never

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Speaker 1: done either. You and your daughter have to find it

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Speaker 1: in your heart to just forgive and just say, look,

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Speaker 1: I'm not excusing what he did, but I'm going to

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Speaker 1: forgive that person and I'm going to stay away from

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Speaker 1: that person now. In regards to your family, that happened

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Speaker 1: as well to my mom and I to all of us.

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Speaker 1: His entire family called me a liar for years and

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Speaker 1: didn't talk to me for years. And now some of

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Speaker 1: my cousins are coming around and I'm open to speaking

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Speaker 1: to them. We don't speak about the subject, but of

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Speaker 1: course that's their uncle, that's their brother, that's you know.

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Speaker 1: So it was very hard and it did cause a

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Speaker 1: lot of division. But those who are meant to stay

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Speaker 1: in your life will be there. And I think you

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Speaker 1: just need to know that, like God is shifting something

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Speaker 1: in your life right now, and he's healing a lot

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Speaker 1: of things, and he's going to remove whoever's not meant

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Speaker 1: to move on with you in the next stage of

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Speaker 1: your life. And that's how you have to see it.

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Speaker 1: And I know it's a lot easier said than done.

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Speaker 1: But another thing that has helped me since I was

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Speaker 1: twelve years old was therapy, and I always say it therapy, counseling,

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Speaker 1: life coaching. All that is going to help you and

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Speaker 1: your daughter. You guys should go individually and together as

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Speaker 1: a family. And another thing Cynthia that may help both

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Speaker 1: of you is reading both of my books. I have Forgiveness,

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Speaker 1: which talks a lot about my experience, and then Unstoppable

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Speaker 1: I touch about it a little bit because I really

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Speaker 1: believe that forgiveness is so healing and gives you the

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Speaker 1: wings to fly, and you have to start realizing that

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Speaker 1: it's okay to live without some of these people. And

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Speaker 1: it's going to be painful, but embrace that pain and

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Speaker 1: grow from it and learn from it. And when you

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Speaker 1: feel weak, just think of me. And I don't say

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Speaker 1: that thinking I'm invincible, but I just I went through

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Speaker 1: it and it was very hard, but it's okay. Like

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Speaker 1: when you get back up and you're you're up and

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Speaker 1: going gono with your head held high, you are going

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Speaker 1: to become stronger and little by little invincible for real,

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Speaker 1: because this is going to only make you, guys, stronger

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Speaker 1: and wiser. So I am praying for both of you,

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Speaker 1: and leave your brother in God's hands, and everyone who

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to be a part of your life because

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Speaker 1: you are choosing to have your daughter's back, which you should.

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Speaker 1: I die yos you know, leave them all in God's hands,

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Speaker 1: and don't please do not hold any resentment in your

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Speaker 1: heart because that will only affect you. So I hope

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Speaker 1: that I was able to help you and give you

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Speaker 1: some peace of mind and in your heart, and always

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Speaker 1: hold on to God's hand and pray your way through this, Okay,

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Speaker 1: sending you both a very, very big hug. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: our next question comes from an anonymous listener.

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Speaker 4: Let's see, hey cheeks, I just wanted to ask you,

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Speaker 4: how do you deal with or I guests dealt with

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Speaker 4: the pressure to keep it all together at all times.

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Speaker 4: Just a little backstory. I am the youngest of four.

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Speaker 4: My father passed away when I was two, and now

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Speaker 4: that I'm an adult and I busted my bud to

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Speaker 4: get where I'm at. I now support my mother and

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Speaker 4: brother financially, along with having my own kids and husband.

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Speaker 2: We do help each other.

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Speaker 4: My husband and I work, and my mother and brother

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Speaker 4: help with the kids and keeping up with our house.

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Speaker 4: There are times where things come up and I I

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Speaker 4: can't do certain things, like say, car breaks down, or

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Speaker 4: you know, money's tight or whatever the situation is, And

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Speaker 4: yet nobody seems to believe me. They just say, you

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Speaker 4: make good money, you don't need help, But they're not

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Speaker 4: all lucky at the money that I have to put

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Speaker 4: out every month. And at times it gets really frustrating

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Speaker 4: that I'm busting my butt and I don't seem to

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Speaker 4: get any credit for it. And above all, I have

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Speaker 4: to keep it all together because I'm not a punk.

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Speaker 4: Do you feel me? But there are just some days

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Speaker 4: that I just need a day to breathe. And I

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Speaker 4: just wanted to get some advice from you on how

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Speaker 4: you deal with having the big responsibility to be your

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Speaker 4: mom's right hand man, basically because it comes with a

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Speaker 4: lot of pressure.

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Speaker 1: Oh babe, well, you're definitely not a punk, I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you that much. Because what you're doing. I commend you

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Speaker 1: for it. I think it's a beautiful thing that you

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Speaker 1: are helping your mother and your brother, But you have

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Speaker 1: to be careful with not spreading yourself too thin because

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Speaker 1: you're doing a great thing, absolutely, but that can turn

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Speaker 1: into resentment fairly quickly. There's a very thin line there,

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Speaker 1: so you have to give yourself time and if it

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Speaker 1: becomes too much in reality, you're gonna have to make

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Speaker 1: a decision, because yes, you make great money and that's amazing,

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Speaker 1: but you should also be able to enjoy your life

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Speaker 1: and not just have to take care of everyone else.

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Speaker 1: You know, what does that mean, taking vacations or having

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Speaker 1: some extra money, some extra cushion for a rainy day.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, if you work your butt

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Speaker 1: off as much as you do and as much as

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Speaker 1: you're saying, you deserve to enjoy that as well. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying to stop providing for your mom and

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Speaker 1: for your brother. I don't know what the situation is exactly,

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Speaker 1: so it's hard for me to say too much, but

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Speaker 1: you do have to be able to express this to them,

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Speaker 1: let them know how you're feeling. And if your brother

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Speaker 1: can get a job, then that would be amazing. For

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Speaker 1: a long time, it was tough. It was a lot

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Speaker 1: that I just had so much responsibility at such a

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Speaker 1: young age, and I'm grateful though I wouldn't change anything

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Speaker 1: because it's helped me become a very responsible woman. It's Okay,

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Speaker 1: say no. Sometimes it's actually a good thing. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot of power in saying no, no, thank you. I

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Speaker 1: don't feel comfortable. I'd rather not. You don't have to

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Speaker 1: be mean about it, but you are going to have

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Speaker 1: to for your sake, for your sanity, little by little,

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Speaker 1: because you're going to really deplete yourself and bring yourself

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Speaker 1: out and then you're not gonna be able to do anything.

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Speaker 1: Imagine you know, you're going to fall into depression or

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Speaker 1: you get sick or something like. You need to find

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Speaker 1: a U day. That's one thing. Find some balance in

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Speaker 1: your life and say, okay, like I'm going to do this,

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Speaker 1: this is what I can do. You guys are going

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Speaker 1: to have to come in and do the rest. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to put in sixty percent. Can you guys

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Speaker 1: do the forty percent? You know something you have to

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Speaker 1: find a compromise because it doesn't sound fair. But again,

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Speaker 1: I don't know the situation, so I don't know if

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Speaker 1: your mom is sick. I hope she's not. But it's

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Speaker 1: a lot, babe. It's a lot for you and your husband,

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Speaker 1: and that can also cause issues between you guys as well.

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Speaker 1: So find some type of compromise. I think it's important

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Speaker 1: to discuss this like openly and say this is how

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling. Express it. Don't leave that inside. And next time, girl,

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Speaker 1: leave your name. Okay, I want to know who I'm

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Speaker 1: talking to. Thank you for your question. Alrighty, So third

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Speaker 1: question comes from.

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Speaker 5: J heychie Geese. My question to you is what made

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Speaker 5: you become a singer? You know a lot of people,

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Speaker 5: like I said, they always say, oh, because of your

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Speaker 5: mom your mom. No, you know, there's probably just a

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Speaker 5: different story behind it. I read your books, so trust me,

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Speaker 5: it motivates me every day. Literally, I know the true story.

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Speaker 5: A lot of people say about you know what was

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Speaker 5: going on in the past. They don't know your story.

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Speaker 5: But like I said, my question to you is what

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Speaker 5: made you become a singer?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Jay, I love your question. Thank you, and

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Speaker 1: thank you for reading my books. Tell everyone to read

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Speaker 1: my book, okay, so that they can get to know

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Speaker 1: me better. Okay, So what made me want to become

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Speaker 1: a singer? It's something that I always had curiosity about

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Speaker 1: because I was born in a musical family. Since I

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Speaker 1: was born, I was working at the Swamp Meet. I've

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Speaker 1: been around music my entire life. Well, I even say

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Speaker 1: this in my book that Charlie no Sanchez was my Nino.

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Speaker 1: I would call him Nino. So I mean, I've been

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Speaker 1: around artists my whole life. My grandpa started everything, so

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Speaker 1: it's like a whole story. But it was always something

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Speaker 1: that called my attention, and I think it was more

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Speaker 1: fear in the beginning, especially like when I was younger.

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Speaker 1: I got on stage for the first time at ten

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Speaker 1: years old, and I really liked it. People clappying and

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Speaker 1: cheering for you. It felt nice, you know, and I

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Speaker 1: remember that feeling, and little by little would go away

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Speaker 1: because then you go to school and people start saying

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Speaker 1: things and fear starts coming into your mind and we

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Speaker 1: get programmed with all this fear and insecurity and stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I just stepped away from it for a little bit.

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Speaker 1: And then I was focused more than anything with my

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Speaker 1: mom and building her career, so I didn't really focus

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Speaker 1: on myself and my dreams. And once I moved out

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Speaker 1: and I was no longer working with my mom and

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Speaker 1: taking care of the kids and stuff, then I said, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is something I want to try. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to live with the what if. So yes, I guess

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Speaker 1: it has to do with my mom, because that's my mom,

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Speaker 1: and she was like my biggest inspiration. Of course, like

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Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, I looked up to her, but it

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Speaker 1: was also something that I had deep down inside my heart.

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Speaker 1: I mean there were times when I was like sixteen

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Speaker 1: years old and I'd be driving and I would envision

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Speaker 1: myself on stage or people yelling and screaming, and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't sure if it was singing, but I knew it

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Speaker 1: had something to do with being on stage. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, I gotta do it, So thank goodness, I did.

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Speaker 1: I took a leap of faith. So thank you for

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Speaker 1: your question. Jay, I am sending you a big kiss

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Speaker 1: luck here you go. That's for you, baby. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: our last question comes from Gabby Hi Teeky's.

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Speaker 2: Before I even ask my question, I want to let

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Speaker 2: you know that my mom and I we love you.

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Speaker 2: We love your family with your brother's, your sister's, your mom,

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Speaker 2: we love all of you, and you're such an inspiration

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Speaker 2: and thank you for everything that you do for our community.

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Speaker 2: My question is I have morosatia and my face gets

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Speaker 2: pink and I, you know, flash a lot. So my

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Speaker 2: question is to you, how do you deal with that.

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Speaker 2: I use a lot of sunscream and I have my

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Speaker 2: little creams, but it's not curable. It's just treatable. So

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Speaker 2: how do you handle it?

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Speaker 1: Oh, Gabby, thank you for your beautiful words. I swear

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Speaker 1: you guys always make me just feel so good. I

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Speaker 1: could be having like a not so great day and

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Speaker 1: you guys just make me smile. So thank you for

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Speaker 1: reminding me that I'm doing the right thing here. And girl,

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Speaker 1: I feel you on the Rose Show. I'm actually dealing

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Speaker 1: with it right now. I'm having a little bit of

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Speaker 1: a breakout because it's getting hot and my skin is

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Speaker 1: just so sensitive. So I feel you. I have my

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Speaker 1: creams too. I mean, I'm sure you know the dermatologists

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Speaker 1: and I have to prescribe you a certain cream. But

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Speaker 1: also doing your best to stay as cool as possible,

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Speaker 1: like spraying yourself throughout the day with something cooling like

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Speaker 1: a cucumber or an alo type of spray will help

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Speaker 1: a lot, like throughout the day to just calm it down,

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Speaker 1: stay away from anything that's acidic. For me, it's very

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Speaker 1: hard because I love chili, like and chili is something

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Speaker 1: that flares it up, like you know, spicy stuff, and

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Speaker 1: I love. I mean, hello, I'm Mexican. Like everything has spices.

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Speaker 1: Washing your face for sure, twice a day, morning and night,

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Speaker 1: especially before going to sleep, with cool water. If you're

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Speaker 1: gonna do warm, always follow it with like cool water.

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Speaker 1: And then there are now lasers for that, babe. Look

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Speaker 1: into a laser. There's a laser that can help you

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Speaker 1: with it, to calm it down and to just help

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Speaker 1: you between episodes because it comes and goes. So like

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Speaker 1: you said, it's not curable, it's just treatable. So look

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Speaker 1: into that laser. That also helped me a lot. Put

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Speaker 1: ice on it too, put ice on it that helps,

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Speaker 1: just shrink it a little bit. It's just we're hot, girl,

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Speaker 1: We're hot. That's why, Cabby. I hope it gets better

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Speaker 1: and I hope I helped. A big thanks to everyone

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Speaker 1: who contributed to today's episode. I really appreciate you guys

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Speaker 1: coming to me for advice. I love hearing from you guys,

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Speaker 1: I really do. Don't forget to leave me your questions

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Speaker 1: at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts. This

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Speaker 1: is a production of iHeart Radio and the micro Dura

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Speaker 1: podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram. At Michael Dura Podcasts

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Speaker 1: and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q u

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Speaker 1: i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast,

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Speaker 1: and check us out on YouTube