Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Denungler and Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? Welcome
Speaker 1: to an all new episode of Help I Suck At
Speaker 1: Dating and Boy, oh boy, do we have a great
Speaker 1: episode in store for you guys. Today. Jared is out
Speaker 1: because he's feeling under the weather, so we're going to
Speaker 1: give him some time to rest, take care of the baby,
Speaker 1: focus on his health. Um. But as promised, great episode
Speaker 1: in the store. We have two of your very very
Speaker 1: very favorite former Bachelor contestants, even though there's so much
Speaker 1: more than that, obviously, Kendall, who has been here many
Speaker 1: many times with uh some great life news to update
Speaker 1: us on, which hopefully we can dive into a little bit.
Speaker 1: Kendall and uh D Andrew, which, by the way, I
Speaker 1: don't think that we've met, have we. Well go, It's
Speaker 1: an honor to finally meet you here of all places. Um,
Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast. But first I want to focus son, Kendall.
Speaker 1: So you guys already know each other, I believe, right, Yes,
Speaker 1: you have together, perfect, perfect, You guys have paradise together,
Speaker 1: That's right. So I'm the odd man out here then,
Speaker 1: which is funny enough? Okay, So, Kendall, Um, you are
Speaker 1: a recurring guest host on this podcast. We love you dearly.
Speaker 1: It's always great to see you. But since the last
Speaker 1: time we've seen you, there has been a major life
Speaker 1: update that we saw you post on your Instagram. Yes,
Speaker 1: I am in a relationshipship, in a relationship, You're in love.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. I know, it's so crazy. Um, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's fun. It's good. God. What was your caption? You
Speaker 1: were like, screw a soft launch, I'm going right for
Speaker 1: it or something like that, wasn't it. No, I just
Speaker 1: have to love by the way, I'm in love and
Speaker 1: just like our relationship, these pictures get progressively or something
Speaker 1: like that. Maybe in my maybe in my head, that's
Speaker 1: what I said. I said, Kendall said, screw a sofaunch,
Speaker 1: She's gone right for it. Okay, So everyone who follows you,
Speaker 1: which is basically everyone and everyone who loves you. Uh
Speaker 1: that maybe wasn't on the on the inside line on
Speaker 1: that was shocked, myself included, because um, I hadn't really
Speaker 1: seen you post about this guy. And a lot of
Speaker 1: times in social media nowadays, people like slowly introduced their
Speaker 1: partner to the world until eventually they posted about him,
Speaker 1: but you just went full head of steam right out
Speaker 1: of the gates for it. Um, So can I ask
Speaker 1: you like all the questions like how long have you
Speaker 1: guys been dating for? Where'd you guys meet? All that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff? Yeah, definitely, Yeah, go for it. I'll
Speaker 1: answer all the things guy's been together. Where did you
Speaker 1: guys meet? From me in? What do you love about him?
Speaker 1: Where does he live? How old is he? What's his signed? Um?
Speaker 1: What was birthdays in? December December seventeen, nineteenth December nineteen.
Speaker 1: I don't know what sign that means? But um, I
Speaker 1: met him through a mutual friend, uh and um, someone
Speaker 1: named and Bennett who was supposed to go on Claire's
Speaker 1: season to The Bachelor, but we ended up being friends
Speaker 1: and he was a volleyball friend of his, and so
Speaker 1: we met at like a shindig and um, he was
Speaker 1: automatically like a science nerd, and I was really into that.
Speaker 1: He's narrow space engineer, so we just immediately talked about
Speaker 1: all the space things and that's kind of what got
Speaker 1: us connected. Um. And it was his birthday the day before,
Speaker 1: like we met the day before and his birthday. Then
Speaker 1: it was the next day. So um, yeah, he's twenty eight. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think. Uh, but yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: We've been dating since I guess we met on his yea,
Speaker 1: we met the day before his birthday in December. Our
Speaker 1: first date was the day after Christmas and so we
Speaker 1: drove and went to see tide pools together and um,
Speaker 1: which was really fun. And uh, yeah we've been kind
Speaker 1: of I'm really normally private about my relationship dating experiences
Speaker 1: until I'm pretty solid him pretty sure about the relationship
Speaker 1: and with him, Um, we just built to a place
Speaker 1: where I was like, yeah, why not? And it was
Speaker 1: it was funny because everyone was saying like, oh, he
Speaker 1: did a hard launch hard launch and I didn't even
Speaker 1: know that hard launching and soft launching was a thing.
Speaker 1: Just like this is a picture of someone that I
Speaker 1: I don't know. I wasn't gonna be like here's his
Speaker 1: hand like people do, that's what people do nowadays. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I thought it would be cute to do
Speaker 1: it that way. I don't know, I've never really thought
Speaker 1: about like that. Um, but yeah, he's very stimulating as
Speaker 1: a person and he we debate about all kinds of
Speaker 1: things and he's just really cool and it's never boring,
Speaker 1: so love it. For the record, I'm not a big
Speaker 1: zodiac guy either, but but for the record, he's a Sagittarius. Sagittorious,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to pronounce it properly. Um, there's
Speaker 1: three really good Sagittorious is my life. My mom and
Speaker 1: both my brothers are both storious. So I get good
Speaker 1: vibes from the guy. I like him. I like him, Yeah,
Speaker 1: good vibes, good vibes. So but so were you nervous
Speaker 1: to jump into things with him or did you feel
Speaker 1: like you're ready for a relationship again, because I feel
Speaker 1: like we haven't seen you in a relationship publicly, at
Speaker 1: least in a while, so it's just always kind of
Speaker 1: like nerve racking to reintroduce the world to you, know,
Speaker 1: you being in a relationship, don't you think? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: weird because I feel like a lot of my relationships,
Speaker 1: well one in particular, has been really public, and I'm
Speaker 1: not really a relationship public kind of person. I prefer
Speaker 1: to really get to know somebody without the entire world
Speaker 1: because everyone always throws in their opinion whether you should
Speaker 1: be with them, whether you shouldn't, and and I knew
Speaker 1: as soon as I did say something about anyone that
Speaker 1: I was dating, it was going to be a direct
Speaker 1: comparison where it's like, oh, he's better or he's worse,
Speaker 1: or that the you know the same, And I just
Speaker 1: didn't I don't want to date anybody with anyone else's opinion. UM.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to really get to know him
Speaker 1: and him to get to know me without that. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's kind of intimidating to open your relationship up
Speaker 1: to you know, the world and the scrutiny of it
Speaker 1: or I don't know. Yeah, so I guess I was
Speaker 1: just a little bit shy about that initially. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I gotta say, an incredibly handsome aerospace engineer. Sounds like
Speaker 1: you really knocked it out of the park with this one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a good guy, he's a keeper. Yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 1: I have good feelings about him, and I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: a posted him or hard launched him if I didn't
Speaker 1: think that he was someone that I was really excited about.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, it's it's definitely it's one thing to
Speaker 1: be in a public relationship when both people are I guess,
Speaker 1: for lack of a better word, public figures. But when
Speaker 1: in this case, like when one of them you know,
Speaker 1: isn't or for whatever reason. Uh, it's like how does
Speaker 1: he handle it? Like, you know, I can only imagine
Speaker 1: he's probably got an influx of people interested in who
Speaker 1: he is now just because you guys are dating. Like
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's probably like super level headed about it
Speaker 1: all though, right Yeah, I mean, um, he we talked
Speaker 1: about it a bit beforehand, and UM, he's private on
Speaker 1: his social media, so he doesn't really want to dive
Speaker 1: into that world, which I like. It's I'm glad that
Speaker 1: he's not in the influencing world. And um, it makes
Speaker 1: it so we can do our own thing as opposed
Speaker 1: to I don't know. Yeah, I've done the public relationship
Speaker 1: before and it's nice that we can have things to ourselves. Um,
Speaker 1: but he's had people like try to follow him or
Speaker 1: get to know him a little bit more, and um, yeah,
Speaker 1: he at first was like I can tell he was
Speaker 1: a little bit, uh, a little bit out of it
Speaker 1: when it first happened. He was like he came in
Speaker 1: and he was like and he doesn't went into the
Speaker 1: kitchen that started doing dishes like really like I was like,
Speaker 1: thank you, like I need to public post more pictures
Speaker 1: of you just clean my dishes. So yeah, yeah, he's
Speaker 1: he's humor about it. You know, that's good. That's good. Um,
Speaker 1: what was I gonna say? I can't remember I was
Speaker 1: going to say, but no, oh, that's what it was.
Speaker 1: I know he's private because I went to go creep
Speaker 1: on him and I couldn't. No one will know, no
Speaker 1: one will know. I respect that move a lot. I
Speaker 1: wish I could be private again. I used to be private,
Speaker 1: but I feel like nowadays it's like, you know, you
Speaker 1: don't really have much of a choice. You know, difficult,
Speaker 1: It's difficult. Yeah, but hey, I want you to know
Speaker 1: we're really happy for you. And it looked like you're
Speaker 1: really happy in those photos. You seem really happy right now. Um,
Speaker 1: and I think that's just really great. Thank you. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: so yeah nice And we can't wait to see more
Speaker 1: updates from you guys. It sounds like you're pretty new
Speaker 1: in the relationship four months in so um, you know,
Speaker 1: I hate to even speculate, but I gotta ask, since
Speaker 1: we're dating, podcast, like, what what do you think the
Speaker 1: future holds for you? Guys? Because you said he's twenty
Speaker 1: eight that's Uh, it's young for l A. But it is,
Speaker 1: like you know, it's around the timeline where you start
Speaker 1: to think about your future a lot more seriously. So
Speaker 1: what do you think the future holds for you? Guys?
Speaker 1: Just kind of keep dating and see what happens in
Speaker 1: l A or um, we're in the same place in
Speaker 1: terms of what we want, UM, which is I'm in
Speaker 1: a place where I'm ready to date someone that I
Speaker 1: see the long term with, whatever that may be. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't really I'm not looking at that. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I can see this being something that you know, goes
Speaker 1: pretty pretty far. And him too, And he's a little
Speaker 1: bit younger, um, but he just doesn't act that way.
Speaker 1: You know. He's a very he's images in a lot
Speaker 1: of ways, but very mature in the places that count,
Speaker 1: so which I think that's good. I want to say
Speaker 1: I'm probably a watered down version of that too. You know,
Speaker 1: I definitely don't hold the cands with this guy. Sounds
Speaker 1: like he's the whole package. But I like to say
Speaker 1: that I'm also really mature in a lot of ways
Speaker 1: that keep things fun and interesting, and then you can
Speaker 1: turn on the maturity when you need to, which for
Speaker 1: me is very rare, but at least I do my best. Um. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I said, that's amazing. Congratulations, were so excited for you. Thanks. Thanks?
Speaker 1: He is he in Spain with you right now? He's not. No,
Speaker 1: I'm here for my friends birthday and we're planning a
Speaker 1: trip to Europe in July, so we will be going
Speaker 1: abroad soon, which is exciting. But with work, it's difficult
Speaker 1: for him to get off of, you know, to travel
Speaker 1: a rod randomly. So yeah, definitely when you have that
Speaker 1: real nine to five, and especially in aerospace, I feel
Speaker 1: like they work probably like sixty seventy hour weeks. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's working on a lot of things. Um. So it's
Speaker 1: exciting though because I feel like I'm learning a lot
Speaker 1: about space through him, which is really cool because I've
Speaker 1: been like on a sudden like space upswing. Uh, So
Speaker 1: it's cool to be able to Actually he comes home
Speaker 1: and we can kind of talk about stuff he's been doing.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's so nice for what I feel like,
Speaker 1: you love is someone that can constantly, like intellectually stimulate you,
Speaker 1: And it sounds like that's exactly what he's able to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And he tells me I'm wrong all the time, which
Speaker 1: is so great, um, And I like it for just
Speaker 1: like getting in debates with somebody is like something that
Speaker 1: I really enjoy, and he'll he'll even tell me I'm
Speaker 1: wrong or try to debate something even if he agrees
Speaker 1: with me. So it's definitely been like one of those
Speaker 1: relationships where we test each other constantly. Um, But can
Speaker 1: I ask you about that a little bit more, Beau,
Speaker 1: because Kaylin and I do the same well, I guess
Speaker 1: I do the same thing with Kaylin all the time,
Speaker 1: and she gets really upset with me a lot of
Speaker 1: the times when she's like, why are you arguing with
Speaker 1: me when you agree with me? And um, how do
Speaker 1: I how do I help frame that as like a
Speaker 1: good thing, because I think it's fun to like. The
Speaker 1: more you argue about something like not like argue, but debated,
Speaker 1: I guess is a better word than the more you
Speaker 1: kind of better understand it and you'll either agree with
Speaker 1: it more or disagree with it by the end of it. Um,
Speaker 1: So how could I How can I frame that better?
Speaker 1: Because I love doing that too. It's like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: might agree with you, but let's see if we can
Speaker 1: argue a counterpoint here. You know, I see it as
Speaker 1: growing and learning, you know, I mean, debating is one
Speaker 1: of the best ways to use your brain and to
Speaker 1: you know constantly. I think something that really I found
Speaker 1: attractive that he did was that, Um, I was saying
Speaker 1: something that I believed in and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I could believe in that. And he's like, well,
Speaker 1: why do you actually believe in that? Like why is
Speaker 1: that something that you really And there's some things you
Speaker 1: just never really think about. You just agree with it
Speaker 1: because it's the easier path to go down and to
Speaker 1: be challenged and to reflect, aket Onto, like why you
Speaker 1: actually have the values you do? Um, I think it's healthy.
Speaker 1: And I believe in being more like a malleable person
Speaker 1: with some things. I don't want to be concrete and
Speaker 1: solid um And I think him constantly testing me with
Speaker 1: that just allows me to be open to going and
Speaker 1: I want to grow with someone. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be stagnant. So I mean, I think, you know, with
Speaker 1: you guys, it's just a way for you to constantly
Speaker 1: be learning about each other and being excited about different
Speaker 1: things you never thought about. Yeah, it's just like a
Speaker 1: it's like a it's like a game. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's like a Settlers of Katan where you're like, you know,
Speaker 1: doing things. It's always different and you're always like trying
Speaker 1: to find a different viewpoint to I don't know, understand
Speaker 1: the world better. So I do love set as a Katan.
Speaker 1: I love that reference. Um. I always find it funny
Speaker 1: too when he tried when you try to argue as
Speaker 1: someone about something. Uh. And this isn't exclusive to relationships
Speaker 1: or anything like that, but just like like debates in general,
Speaker 1: when you like start talking and like making a counterpoint
Speaker 1: and they immediately get super defensive and they go on
Speaker 1: their heels, and that's kind of when you know, like
Speaker 1: there's no point in arguing with this person because they
Speaker 1: kind of theologic got the window. A lot of the time. Um,
Speaker 1: I've seen that. I've seen that a lot more recently.
Speaker 1: Well No, I mean, I just think I think it's
Speaker 1: it's good to have discussions about things I wouldn't say.
Speaker 1: It's like an argument. You're not saying things to put
Speaker 1: down the other person or to like the intention is
Speaker 1: always to have fun and to banter. Um. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I think there's nothing wrong with challenge person making them
Speaker 1: grow a little bit and keeping them on their toes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like when you wrote an essay in high school.
Speaker 1: You uh, you always have to make your point and
Speaker 1: then make a counterpoint, and that's that's how you do
Speaker 1: an right I guess, um, all right, well, yeah, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. But let's move over to de Andre.
Speaker 1: So uh d'andre. We met you on Bachelor? Was it
Speaker 1: Matt season, Peter season, Peter season? Yeah, and then we
Speaker 1: met you again on Bachelor in Paradise. Yes, okay, so
Speaker 1: I don't I don't watch a lot of those shows,
Speaker 1: funny enough, So could you feel feel the listener is
Speaker 1: in that definitely already know you, but mostly filled me?
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of like your experiences on the show,
Speaker 1: what you were doing beforehand, what you're doing now? Um. So,
Speaker 1: beforehand I went on the show, I was originally a
Speaker 1: long time ago. Um, I was just working a regular
Speaker 1: job that I didn't like. So when I left it
Speaker 1: on the show, I was really excited because it gave
Speaker 1: me the opportunity to date. I felt like ever since
Speaker 1: I graduated college and I got into the working world,
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to meet someone, I want
Speaker 1: to get married, Like that was my timeline. I had
Speaker 1: that like in the back of my head always. So
Speaker 1: when I went on the show Peter season, UM, it
Speaker 1: wasn't my favorite experience. Honestly. I think that just being
Speaker 1: in the environment with one man and so many women,
Speaker 1: it just kind of showed me that that's not the
Speaker 1: kind of dating but I want to do. And I
Speaker 1: don't think it makes you value yourself because you're trying
Speaker 1: to mold yourself into what they want you to be, essentially,
Speaker 1: especially when you have so many different women around. So
Speaker 1: when I left um the Bachelor, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well that was a weird experience for me, but it
Speaker 1: kind of like shifted my thinking into like what I
Speaker 1: actually wanted in life, and I felt like I needed
Speaker 1: to date more and like be like find myself outside
Speaker 1: of what I thought I was originally. UM. So then
Speaker 1: I went to Bachelor in Paradise and it was definitely
Speaker 1: it was way a way better experience. It allowed me
Speaker 1: to date multiple people and not have to conform into
Speaker 1: what I thought someone wanted me to be, and I
Speaker 1: think that was ultimately the best thing. I didn't find
Speaker 1: anyone that I had a connection with on the beach,
Speaker 1: so obviously went home. Um, but it was a really
Speaker 1: great experience. I met a lot of people. I met
Speaker 1: Kendall for the first time and she's great and I
Speaker 1: made a lot of friendships. But life post show, I'm
Speaker 1: in pharmaceutical sales and um, I do like influencing. I
Speaker 1: like to say, like content creation, television, you know, speaking,
Speaker 1: and I'm not like an influencer. But I've definitely been
Speaker 1: more focused on just me. I'm not really dating right now,
Speaker 1: just discovering myself. I'm actually in Los Angeles right now.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you lived in Los Angeles, Kendall. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: let's hang out. Yeah. I was a star for this
Speaker 1: and I saw that you were in l A. And
Speaker 1: I was like, dang it, I'm like out of the
Speaker 1: country now, but I'm coming back. Uh so let's hang out. Amazing, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I'm here short term, but I actually kind of
Speaker 1: want to move here, so like that's something that I'm
Speaker 1: considering right now. I just the rent here is ridiculous
Speaker 1: compared to Texas. Texas is amazing. Just talk about it
Speaker 1: right now. Definitely, Yeah, But that's kind of the decision
Speaker 1: I'm like weighing on right now, is if I'm going
Speaker 1: to stay in l A or go back to Dallas.
Speaker 1: So you're in l A for work for the pharmaceutical thing. Um,
Speaker 1: so I'm remote so I can work from here. And
Speaker 1: then also I wanted to come to l A because
Speaker 1: I want to transition out of it eventually. I don't
Speaker 1: think that pharmaceutical sales is gonna be my forever job.
Speaker 1: So I kind of came here to just test the waters.
Speaker 1: But I love more so like the environment here, Like
Speaker 1: everybody's super creative and you feel very comfortable here, and like,
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a lot of growth that can
Speaker 1: be had in l A. So that's where my mind
Speaker 1: is right now. Which part of l A? Are you?
Speaker 1: I'm spoiled right now? I'm in West Hollywood, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: right across from Grove. No, you're right next to You're
Speaker 1: really close to me. Then, well, I can't stay here
Speaker 1: because this is like this has had me spoiled and
Speaker 1: I can need to move. This is like an Airbnb
Speaker 1: kind of and it's way too effecting and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I gotta go. But I just don't know where else
Speaker 1: to go in California because I feel like everyone's like
Speaker 1: there are some good places and I'll I'll help in
Speaker 1: a place I have some friends. Please, I will text you.
Speaker 1: I'll make you stay here. Okay, I mean I agree.
Speaker 1: I think definitely definitely stay in l A. I'm a
Speaker 1: big fan of the West Side. I know Kendall has
Speaker 1: been a West Hollywood girl for a long time, but
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of um like Venis and Santa
Speaker 1: Monica and stuff and imply it. But hey, that's just me.
Speaker 1: Um No, my my boyfriend's and Hermosa so I get
Speaker 1: to steal some peaches. Does he does your boyfriend work for? Um? SpaceX?
Speaker 1: Not SpaceX. I don't know the name of his company.
Speaker 1: Um it's in Hermosa though. Um, but yeah, he does
Speaker 1: volleyball and stuff there. It's a really cool community, all right.
Speaker 1: The enter back to you real quick. So, okay, so
Speaker 1: you're in l A. You were on Bachelor in Paradise,
Speaker 1: but you didn't make a connection with anyone, but I
Speaker 1: do remember you on that season. Um, so tell me
Speaker 1: about Bachelor in Paradise in your experience, because I agree
Speaker 1: with you. I think it's a much better format. It's
Speaker 1: a lot easier to get there and relax and actually
Speaker 1: have a good time instead of being stressed out the
Speaker 1: whole time. I think I'm sure Kendall would agree to. UM. So, well,
Speaker 1: what was your experience like, like, you know, not coming
Speaker 1: out of it with a romantic connection, but you came
Speaker 1: out with a lot of friendships and stuff. Do you
Speaker 1: wish you could go back and do things differently or
Speaker 1: are you kind of happy with how it all played out?
Speaker 1: I think no matter what, even if I did went
Speaker 1: back and did thing things differently, I think that same
Speaker 1: outcome would have come. So I guess I would just
Speaker 1: leave it right where it is. UM, I liked it.
Speaker 1: I felt like as far as my connection with the men,
Speaker 1: like I wish that there were more people that I
Speaker 1: was like super aligned with. I think that would have
Speaker 1: made my experience that much better. Like the men, they
Speaker 1: were amazing and great and like they found their respective people.
Speaker 1: But I think it's frustrating that like being on the
Speaker 1: Bachelor and then going and like to Paradise, not having
Speaker 1: even a strong connection like leaving or someone that I
Speaker 1: talked to afterwards. I think that's open my thing or
Speaker 1: my theme with being on the franchise or like in
Speaker 1: the like Bachelor and then Bachelor in Paradise. That's what
Speaker 1: I would kind of frustrated. It's like I'm wondering why
Speaker 1: I haven't found a strong connection at least once. Um,
Speaker 1: But I loved my experience in Paradise. If I had
Speaker 1: the opportunity to go again, I would just want to
Speaker 1: like have an idea of like what kind of men
Speaker 1: were going. But I'm not sure if it would be
Speaker 1: for me, like basically my past experiences. Well, I do
Speaker 1: kind of remember watching a couple of episodes of that
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise. I was like, why is no one else?
Speaker 1: Why is like Deandra not getting more attention? It's like
Speaker 1: almost infuriating for me, Like I I was kind of
Speaker 1: getting really annoyed by it. Um. And I hate when
Speaker 1: people say I'm intimidating because I'm like, I'm really the
Speaker 1: nicest person ever. Like, what's like why it can't be
Speaker 1: an intimidation thing. It can't be the insentivity in me
Speaker 1: in my life. I'm like I hate that answer, So,
Speaker 1: like what's the reason that's? I mean, I don't get it. So, So,
Speaker 1: did you not find any of the guys there like
Speaker 1: attractive enough to you to like really pursue aggressively or
Speaker 1: was it more of a matter of just like you
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to relax and let them come to you,
Speaker 1: and that just I guess didn't happen. It was a
Speaker 1: little bit of both. So like when I first got
Speaker 1: down to the beach, I was like just based on like, Okay,
Speaker 1: who am I like instantly attracted to? It was like Aaron,
Speaker 1: Um Brendan, and like, I know, I had a really
Speaker 1: good conversation with Brennan the first day. But I'm the
Speaker 1: kind of person like I've always wanted a man to
Speaker 1: pursue me, and I think that was my downfall, as
Speaker 1: I wasn't pushing enough to try to get to know
Speaker 1: these men. So like I have one little conversation and
Speaker 1: then I'd be like, Okay, well come on, and that's
Speaker 1: not going to happen in that setting, Like it just
Speaker 1: straight up isn't. So I think that it was kind
Speaker 1: of my fault not pursuing those relationships. But at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, like seeing how it played out,
Speaker 1: I'm glad that I didn't push too hard to pursue relationships.
Speaker 1: I mean, um, when Thomas came down to the beach,
Speaker 1: obviously he was attractive, but other than that, I was
Speaker 1: kind of like, well, I don't know. Yeah, not not
Speaker 1: anyone there that's going to really catch you. I will say, Aaron,
Speaker 1: if I was a single girl down on Bachelor in Paradise,
Speaker 1: I would be all up in Aaron's business at all
Speaker 1: times because that it's very attractive. So okay, so let's
Speaker 1: say I know you kind of alluded to a little
Speaker 1: bit as well. Let's say, um, you know there's another
Speaker 1: season of Bachelor in Paradise and they ask you to
Speaker 1: come back. What is your kind of like ideal um
Speaker 1: characteristics to find a partner down there? Like you know,
Speaker 1: obviously some of the guys are gonna be listening to this,
Speaker 1: to this episode because they want to get to know
Speaker 1: you a little bit better. What what what do they
Speaker 1: have to do to really catch your eye? I think
Speaker 1: it's someone who isn't shy, Like I love a man
Speaker 1: who will just approach you and just be like hey,
Speaker 1: like strike up conversation, like make it known that he's
Speaker 1: interested in you. Like of course it's my decision to
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I'm interested too. But I think like
Speaker 1: applying pressure is what I'm really attracted to. I think
Speaker 1: like being charismatic and confident and funny and just like
Speaker 1: okay with putting yourself out there as a man, because
Speaker 1: I'm such I've tried to like where because I'm a
Speaker 1: very alpha personality, so like I feel like I always
Speaker 1: like kind of take charge and I need someone who's
Speaker 1: like more alpha than I am to balance me. So
Speaker 1: I think that that's something on the beach that just
Speaker 1: didn't happen. And I was like everyone was just so nonchalant,
Speaker 1: and I've never been attracted to nonchalant people at all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, when a guy makes the move too,
Speaker 1: you know, just kind of goes for it and see
Speaker 1: what happens. It did kind of feel on Paradise that
Speaker 1: it was a little more hesitant. It was like afraid
Speaker 1: to move. It really felt like that. Okay, I'm glad
Speaker 1: I came in and like whoa, Like I don't want
Speaker 1: to cause any drama. I don't know, but yeah, it
Speaker 1: was an interesting vibe. And you know what's funny is
Speaker 1: the guys were talking about, well, you know, the each
Speaker 1: guy picked a girl and we didn't want to step
Speaker 1: on toes And I was like, the whole point of
Speaker 1: Paradise is to step on toes. Yeah, if you have
Speaker 1: a real connection with somebody or else that doesn't work
Speaker 1: right because I have friends that I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we both like the same person, or like we both
Speaker 1: think the same person is attractive, and like, I can respectfully,
Speaker 1: you can be my friend, but if I want to
Speaker 1: pursue that person, I'm gonna pursue that person. And like,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? You can't? Like that's what
Speaker 1: has four So I felt like, look had that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think they don't want to be a villain. That's
Speaker 1: what it is. Like, I don't want to be the
Speaker 1: one that breaks someone's heart or else everyone's gonna hate me.
Speaker 1: But even if you try not to do that, they
Speaker 1: might end up painting you anyway, Like that's what happened
Speaker 1: to me. So it's just it's just kind of one
Speaker 1: of those things where it's like either you go for
Speaker 1: who you truly want to be with or you end
Speaker 1: up leaving disappointed. So absolutely, yeah, I was gonna say
Speaker 1: the same thing. It seemed like the past like two
Speaker 1: seasons of The Bachelor, at the guys that have come
Speaker 1: off of it have been very bromancy, like very very
Speaker 1: like buddy buddy um, and I kind of carried over
Speaker 1: into paradise like the Andrew is saying, you know, people
Speaker 1: didn't really want to like ruffle any feathers or stepping
Speaker 1: on any toes, but that's kind of the name of
Speaker 1: the game. And because they've grown this, you know, incredibly
Speaker 1: tight bond, which is not a bad thing by any means.
Speaker 1: It kind of didn't, but it just didn't allow for
Speaker 1: the pot to be stirred, I guess as much as possible,
Speaker 1: not even stirring the pot, but like exploration of other
Speaker 1: possible relationships, I guess. But um, yeah, maybe, I mean
Speaker 1: the nice thing is, uh, I've done two Bachelor in Paradises,
Speaker 1: the second one always is better. Uh in paradises, I
Speaker 1: would say her second one is better too. Um. So
Speaker 1: that all said, you know, the perspective you gain from
Speaker 1: from going and coming back a second time is definitely
Speaker 1: super helpful. Um, but let's say, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: think Paradise even shoots for another like what probably actually
Speaker 1: pretty soon like three months or so. How is dating?
Speaker 1: How is dating in l A? Are you going on dates?
Speaker 1: Are you meeting guys out there at all? No? And
Speaker 1: that I was actually just talking to my friend here.
Speaker 1: So I've gone out a couple of times. I don't
Speaker 1: really go off that much. I've just been working and
Speaker 1: like the extra time I have to spend my friends.
Speaker 1: But even when I'm out, men don't approach me and
Speaker 1: like you alice, like men will buy you drinks and
Speaker 1: men will talk to you regardless of whether you're attractive
Speaker 1: to them or not, like it's just like the nice
Speaker 1: thing to do. But I feel like in l A,
Speaker 1: I was asking my friend, I was like, why don't
Speaker 1: guys talk to girls here? And someone was saying, is
Speaker 1: because everyone kind of goes out with a chip on
Speaker 1: their shoulder and like they don't want to be denied,
Speaker 1: they don't want to be embarrassed everyone. You know, some
Speaker 1: of the guys here think that there are certain status
Speaker 1: so they don't approach women. I don't know what it is,
Speaker 1: but no, I've had no luckt dating here, so I've
Speaker 1: just given up. Like I'm like, I'm just gonna sit
Speaker 1: back let it be depended on So I think it
Speaker 1: runs to depending on dating, you know, because there's so
Speaker 1: many people going through on those things when in person,
Speaker 1: it seems so intimidating to like go up to someone
Speaker 1: and be like I'm interested in you when you can
Speaker 1: do it behind a screen and maybe come across someone
Speaker 1: you've seen. Um, but yeah, l A is full of
Speaker 1: shiny There's lots of shiny attractive people, and it's just
Speaker 1: finding somebody that, uh I don't know that you genuinely
Speaker 1: find a connection with. That can be really difficult in
Speaker 1: l A. Right, I just yeah, Kendell. I feel like
Speaker 1: Kendell's always got like a new group of friends. So
Speaker 1: I feel like she's probably a good person to know
Speaker 1: for that reason, because she's a she's a connector you know,
Speaker 1: you you connect people. I feel like Kendall, you know,
Speaker 1: the best way to date that was a friend of
Speaker 1: a friend, which is what happened to Kendall, Like, oh
Speaker 1: he was a friend of a friend always. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: that's like the best way to date. Right, It's the
Speaker 1: same sound really stupid. It's the same with getting a job.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's so hard to get a job
Speaker 1: by just applying and interviewing and getting the job. And
Speaker 1: I feel like like nine out of ten times it's
Speaker 1: because your friend is setting up for an interview or
Speaker 1: something like that, or you know someone, or like it's
Speaker 1: always through like a connection somehow. Granted, I've been un
Speaker 1: employeed for six years, So what the heck do I on?
Speaker 1: But yeah, exactly where in l A do you go out?
Speaker 1: Do you stay on the West Hollywood side or yeah.
Speaker 1: So I haven't really ventured anywhere other than West Hollywood
Speaker 1: because I just really like the areas out here, Like
Speaker 1: I've been to the Nice Guy. Um, I went to Poppies.
Speaker 1: Delilah's kind of like all of like the spots. Everyone know,
Speaker 1: that's the problem. You're going to the places that are
Speaker 1: too trendy. U actually actually have to go out on
Speaker 1: the west, on the West side, like by the beach.
Speaker 1: Those are the most chill people. Everyone's really nice. I
Speaker 1: feel like going out in West Hollywood like I don't
Speaker 1: even do that and sometimes kind of stay it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll help you, we'll find forces. Yeah I'm doing something wrong. Kenda,
Speaker 1: Like where should you go like waterfront or stay away
Speaker 1: from Bungalow to go to Bungalow, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, don't bunglo You should have a whaler
Speaker 1: Whiler Venice Alehouse is fun places where people are chill
Speaker 1: and actually want to have real conversations. Um. One of
Speaker 1: my friends does, like there's like these beach dj things
Speaker 1: you can get involved in where there's like DJ's on
Speaker 1: the beach and everyone just hangs out and plays volleyball
Speaker 1: and like, you know, it's just fun, like you want to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's more of a lighthearted side to to l A.
Speaker 1: And I think some people can get so wrapped up
Speaker 1: in the cool, trendy places to go to, and those
Speaker 1: are the places where people are very stoic and don't
Speaker 1: like they're not real really welcoming of new people. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like a scene kind of thing, too cool
Speaker 1: for that dander. You're younger, aren't you your Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm old you really Okay, that's not
Speaker 1: high field, but I guess like as I get older,
Speaker 1: I publy like, oh my god, wait was really That's
Speaker 1: what I'd say. In l A. It's very young everyone.
Speaker 1: It's peter pan Land. In l A, people don't get
Speaker 1: relationships until later in the mid thirties. I will say
Speaker 1: as as a twenty five year old single person. I
Speaker 1: know we kind of ragged on it a little bit,
Speaker 1: but Bungalow has got to be the spot. When I
Speaker 1: always twenty five and single, I was at Bungalow three
Speaker 1: times a week. Maybe not that much, but I was
Speaker 1: there a lot, and uh, it's definitely kind of like
Speaker 1: seeny and a little douche at times, but it's it's
Speaker 1: definitely a lot of fun. And it is like if
Speaker 1: you still get like that laid back experience, like you know,
Speaker 1: you would at like some of the places on the
Speaker 1: West Side, but it's worry about it's like wordy about
Speaker 1: going to places that people are douchey because it's so
Speaker 1: because I'm such like a it's hard for me to
Speaker 1: hide my emotions and expressions. Like when someone's giving douche
Speaker 1: I'm like the guys, yeah, I'm like, Okay, well let's
Speaker 1: happen up some more chill and more real. I mean
Speaker 1: not saying that that doesn't exist in these certain places.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it does, um, but I don't know. I
Speaker 1: feel like more of a laid back and from where
Speaker 1: you can really beat yourself and actually hear someone and
Speaker 1: talk to them. And that's yeah, I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: difficult to date in l A. Again, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of places to go out to a lot of different
Speaker 1: kinds of people, different groups of people. Um. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: been fortunate enough to like know people that I've known
Speaker 1: for such a long time because I grew up in
Speaker 1: l A. So um so yeah, but there are good
Speaker 1: people that do exist. It does get frustrating dating in
Speaker 1: l A, but it's not alone. I just can't believe
Speaker 1: you're so young. Here's such a baby. But yeah, it's crazy,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. Um. I mean I'm thirty, Kendall, you're twenty
Speaker 1: nine thirty. Oh my god, I'm thirty one too, so
Speaker 1: we're both in our thirties and years just baby, five
Speaker 1: years apart from me. Come on now. Yeah, but that's
Speaker 1: like actually a lot of residences and Kendall, you're your
Speaker 1: sister's age. I might yeah, we're twins, so exactly. Definitely
Speaker 1: the Second Soldiers, it was like like a like a gun.
Speaker 1: I thought you got you like came out like holding
Speaker 1: your hand or something like that. You're coming with me? Well?
Speaker 1: Uh d' andrew, I think selfishly speaking, and I feel
Speaker 1: weird even saying this. I don't want you to get
Speaker 1: in a relationship because I would love to see you
Speaker 1: back on Bachelor in Paradise. So I don't often wish
Speaker 1: against people to get in relationships, but this is one
Speaker 1: of those, uh um, you know, unique examples where where
Speaker 1: I definitely reading against it for the for the short term,
Speaker 1: until you know, everyone gets down to that beach. Um,
Speaker 1: But we're gonna take one quick break. We got some
Speaker 1: emails I want to get to with you guys, and
Speaker 1: then uh, and then we'll call it call it quits
Speaker 1: from there, I guess. So stay tuned through the break.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. All right, welcome back to help
Speaker 1: buy second dating. Um, we have to e mails and
Speaker 1: de Andrew, since this is your first time guest co
Speaker 1: hosting with us. What we do is every week we
Speaker 1: have a couple of listeners email us some of their
Speaker 1: dating stories, and so they'll either share a story or
Speaker 1: ask for advice or whatever it might be. Uh, and
Speaker 1: then we just kind of do our best to give
Speaker 1: it to them, which you know, it's just a bunch
Speaker 1: of idiots, kind of blind leading the blind essentially, is
Speaker 1: really what it is. So, UM, is east in there?
Speaker 1: Do you want to read an email for us? Easton?
Speaker 1: It would be my honor, Dan, Thank you very much
Speaker 1: for the invitation. Uh. This first email is from Anonymous.
Speaker 1: I've been with my girlfriend for five years now. We
Speaker 1: met when we were both freshman in college, and we're
Speaker 1: now living together in Eugene, Oregon. She's the first girlfriend
Speaker 1: I've ever had, and sometimes I catch myself wondering if
Speaker 1: I'm just with her because I don't know any different.
Speaker 1: I don't have another relationship to compare to. This doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that I don't love her, But are these the
Speaker 1: thoughts that I'm having a red flag in our relationship?
Speaker 1: Oh man, he's been with his girlfriend for five years,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, that's a long long time, do you think? So?
Speaker 1: Who said that, Kendall or de Andrew? Okay, I think
Speaker 1: the fact that this person has been a relationship for
Speaker 1: so long and it was their first relationship. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys. I feel like your first love
Speaker 1: is always like a love that you never forget, but
Speaker 1: it's never really your last love in my opinion, because
Speaker 1: I feel like if you don't know what you don't like,
Speaker 1: you'll never know what you truly like. So it's like,
Speaker 1: if he goes off to marry this girl, it's like,
Speaker 1: you'll never know, and I feel like that's gonna be
Speaker 1: a problem later on in the relationship. So I think
Speaker 1: it's a red flag that he's even feeling this way,
Speaker 1: because if it's the one, it's the one period, there's
Speaker 1: no well hesitation, like I don't know anything else in
Speaker 1: my opinion at least. Okay, I see where you're coming from, Kendall.
Speaker 1: What do you think? I mean? I agree? I think that, um,
Speaker 1: you especially when I when I was in college, I've
Speaker 1: changed so much as a person. You know, I'm not
Speaker 1: the same person. If I dated the same person that
Speaker 1: I did when I was in college, it would never
Speaker 1: work out because we grew so far apart. And I
Speaker 1: think what's happening is that this person doesn't really truly
Speaker 1: know themselves. I don't want to assume this, but like
Speaker 1: I didn't at that time know myself as an individual,
Speaker 1: I'm outside a relationship. UM, and college you expedite so
Speaker 1: much about who you are, and it changes so rapidly
Speaker 1: because you're in a new environment meeting new people. UM,
Speaker 1: if you're having doubts, then it's a sign that maybe
Speaker 1: you need to you know, not then you have to
Speaker 1: go out and date a bunch of different people, but
Speaker 1: kind date yourself for a bit so you're more sure
Speaker 1: about the feeling you have with someone in with for
Speaker 1: so long. Yeah, I I kind of agree. I agree
Speaker 1: with what you guys are saying I do think that
Speaker 1: whenever you have doubt, it's it's not a good thing.
Speaker 1: But five years is a long time, and I think that,
Speaker 1: especially when it comes to guys, I feel like you
Speaker 1: can kind of let that doubt creep in a little
Speaker 1: bit at times, and you're like, well, what am I doing?
Speaker 1: Do I want to be with someone else? Uh? Do
Speaker 1: I really love this person? And I mean I've been
Speaker 1: there before and some of my older relationships, and then
Speaker 1: we end up breaking up and then like at first
Speaker 1: you're super happy, You're like, wow, freedom, I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to be like a freeman and do whatever I want
Speaker 1: and not have to worry about making anyone else happy.
Speaker 1: And then like that dies probably in like three weeks,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, wow, I really missed that person.
Speaker 1: You're like I'm really sad or really little, and then
Speaker 1: I want that person back in my life. So I
Speaker 1: think a lot of times guys love to you know,
Speaker 1: it's like it's kind of like the grass is always
Speaker 1: greener thing where things are good, but they always wonder
Speaker 1: if they could be better somewhere else, and it's like,
Speaker 1: who's to say that they could or couldn't be um,
Speaker 1: And I think that's just kind of like human nature
Speaker 1: to think that. But I hate it. I think it's
Speaker 1: a I think it's a normal thought. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's a red flag in my opinion, because I think
Speaker 1: it's just like a natural, natural thing that people go through,
Speaker 1: especially five years, Like, um, that's a long long time
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship. Five years. You know, I've
Speaker 1: never been in a five year relationship, but I've been
Speaker 1: in a couple. Well, I guess I'm in a three
Speaker 1: year relationship now, which is by far my longest relationship,
Speaker 1: and I've it's a long time. It's a long time
Speaker 1: I've I've like had I mean, I think every person
Speaker 1: has doubts at a certain point, but um, I don't
Speaker 1: think I've gotten to the same point as this guy ever.
Speaker 1: But I just like, I don't think it's a red
Speaker 1: flag necessarily, you know what they mean. I just think
Speaker 1: it's like natural. I think that My advice then, if
Speaker 1: he's feeling this way is take like a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks to yourselves and don't necessarily date anyone else but
Speaker 1: literally just cut off all communication and kind of see
Speaker 1: what you feel like and like work through these feelings.
Speaker 1: So then you'll know like do I just miss the
Speaker 1: company of her, or do I genuinely still have these
Speaker 1: feelings even when I'm not speaking to her or you know,
Speaker 1: living with her or being with her every day, because
Speaker 1: that by yourself, truly by yourself, that's the only time
Speaker 1: you really like explore, know what you want. Mm hmm agree.
Speaker 1: And I agree with what Kendall was saying earlier too.
Speaker 1: It's like these guys started dating when they were freshman's
Speaker 1: in college. That's so so young, Like I such such
Speaker 1: a different person I was when I was in college
Speaker 1: for better for worse. I mean, who the heck really knows,
Speaker 1: but uh yeah, it's definitely like a pretty pretty big
Speaker 1: changing experience you go through then. So it's like you
Speaker 1: don't really know who you are because you have been
Speaker 1: relying on this relationship for so long. So it would
Speaker 1: be good to take a break, but like not see
Speaker 1: other people, but like kind of like, you know, take
Speaker 1: a take a break in that sense, um, which I'm
Speaker 1: an advocate for. By the way, we we got a
Speaker 1: lot of people who are anti break, and I think
Speaker 1: when people talk about taking a break, what they're always
Speaker 1: referring to is like go date other people. But I
Speaker 1: think breaks where you just kind of like exclude yourself
Speaker 1: and like withdrawing yourself for like a week maybe, uh,
Speaker 1: just to kind of like refocus your priorities and like
Speaker 1: understand what's important to you. I think that can be
Speaker 1: pretty beneficial in a lot of ways. So hopefully these
Speaker 1: guys can figure that out. Um alright, youson? We got
Speaker 1: another one from Samantha. What does that one say? All right?
Speaker 1: Samantha G says, my boyfriend and I have been dating
Speaker 1: for about seven years. I love him more than anything,
Speaker 1: and I know that he's the one. However, I cannot
Speaker 1: stand his parents. I have my reasons. The dad has
Speaker 1: not been loyal to his mom, but they're still together,
Speaker 1: and that's something that I do not respect. I don't
Speaker 1: understand how you can stay with someone who had an
Speaker 1: affair for five years. I just think it is weak.
Speaker 1: His dad is also a total jerk and has never
Speaker 1: been welcoming or friendly to me. Is it important to you,
Speaker 1: guys that you like your in laws? Do you believe
Speaker 1: that in saying you're also marrying the family, Well, my
Speaker 1: life be hell if I married this guy. I can't
Speaker 1: picture my life without him. But I can't picture my
Speaker 1: life having to deal with his parents. What do you
Speaker 1: guys think? I think that, for one, she can't put
Speaker 1: her standards for a relationship onto the standards of his
Speaker 1: parents relationships. So it's like, if the wife knows the
Speaker 1: dad is cheating and she chooses to stay, she probably
Speaker 1: feels safer staying than being by herself at whatever age,
Speaker 1: So like that she should try to just like let go.
Speaker 1: But it's as far as can you love someone and
Speaker 1: not like they're in laws? I think that's totally possible
Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, like she still
Speaker 1: has her family that they can be a part of.
Speaker 1: And if you really love someone, you find a way
Speaker 1: to make it work, and you don't live with them
Speaker 1: unless you guys live together, like you only see them
Speaker 1: at select times. You make it work for the person
Speaker 1: that you love. But I definitely think that you shouldn't
Speaker 1: put like the way that you would act in a
Speaker 1: relationship off to someone else because that will just make
Speaker 1: you despise them. But not everyone's gonna do what you
Speaker 1: want in life. So it's like she has to think
Speaker 1: that there's just way more going on, probably that she'd
Speaker 1: been aware of. In my opinion, I agree well, I
Speaker 1: think it's difficult because I love families like I love
Speaker 1: diving in and like having the relationship with them. But um,
Speaker 1: I don't think. I think the most important thing is
Speaker 1: that he or you defend each other in a relationship.
Speaker 1: So if his dad is disrespecting her, that he steps
Speaker 1: in and they're a team, you know, together and that
Speaker 1: and I think that would be the deciding factor for me.
Speaker 1: If he just sits back and just watches it happen
Speaker 1: and allows her to get disrespected, that's when I would
Speaker 1: have an issue. But no, if he's supportive and tell
Speaker 1: us his dad, Hey, this is the person that I've
Speaker 1: chosen to be with. You have to respect her, then
Speaker 1: I don't see an issue. You don't have to like everybody. Um,
Speaker 1: And relationships can grow over time, but the immediate relationship
Speaker 1: is the most important. I agree, as long as they're
Speaker 1: prioritizing each other rather than the in laws or parents
Speaker 1: or whatever it might be. I'm probably in the minority
Speaker 1: when I uh, because I think this. I I hate
Speaker 1: like nuclear faith like I don't get wrong, I love,
Speaker 1: I love good family structures, all kind of stuff. I
Speaker 1: hate dating people that are really close with their family
Speaker 1: because I'm not, and and so it's like it's challenging
Speaker 1: for me to be in that environment because it's so
Speaker 1: foreign to me, you know what I mean. Like I've
Speaker 1: I've definitely dated with girls in the past who are
Speaker 1: super close to their parents and um, you know, like
Speaker 1: and their grandparents and and their their sisters kids and
Speaker 1: like all these things, and it like it just terrifies
Speaker 1: me to the point where, uh, I can't I can't
Speaker 1: date I haven't been able to date them. And so
Speaker 1: I I kind of like see where she's coming from.
Speaker 1: But I I personally like, don't necessarily think you need
Speaker 1: to have a relationship with the in laws at all.
Speaker 1: Like it's just to me, it's not a super essential
Speaker 1: thing because like Kendall was saying, I'm not to say
Speaker 1: that she's agreeing with anything that I'm saying here, but
Speaker 1: as long as your priority is your partner at all times,
Speaker 1: I think that's the most important thing. Um. So that's
Speaker 1: that's how I feel about that. And and the only
Speaker 1: reason I say all that too is because I've noticed
Speaker 1: when uh, like Klin for instance, you know, she's she's
Speaker 1: had some struggles with her families and her with her parents, um,
Speaker 1: and me with my and we're able to kind of
Speaker 1: like empathize with each other over some of the hard
Speaker 1: times that we've had because of that. And I guess
Speaker 1: the people that I've dated in the past that haven't
Speaker 1: had to deal with those types of things, maybe I
Speaker 1: don't fully understand the struggles of that sometimes, probably because
Speaker 1: I can communicate it clearly enough, but it is It
Speaker 1: is nice to be able to like have someone that
Speaker 1: you can lean on that's gone through a shared experience
Speaker 1: with you. So I mean, I hope that she this
Speaker 1: person doesn't let her score and relationship with her potential
Speaker 1: father in law ruin the relationship. But do you guys
Speaker 1: think that since her boyfriend's dad has had in a
Speaker 1: fair or five years, does that have any bearing on
Speaker 1: the boyfriend at all. I think it's probably either something
Speaker 1: he's gonna learn from or imitate. So it's like when
Speaker 1: you see your parents, you have two choices like do
Speaker 1: I want to imitate this and I do I think
Speaker 1: this is acceptable? Or do I want to be different
Speaker 1: from my parents? So I think that it's completely personal
Speaker 1: in his thing, because you know, there's things I've seen
Speaker 1: my parents do that I could be just like them.
Speaker 1: Or I could take the other road and learn from
Speaker 1: their mistakes and be like is what I don't want
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to be like this, But I
Speaker 1: definitely don't think it's going to impact him one or
Speaker 1: the other. Yeah, And he probably sees how it affects
Speaker 1: his mother and how it affects his and he's close
Speaker 1: to his family. He sees how that has affected not
Speaker 1: only his mom but probably his girlfriend. I'm sure she's
Speaker 1: talked to him about it as well, and so maybe
Speaker 1: it even opens up their communication with that, so they
Speaker 1: talk about these things earlier, UM, and just ways to
Speaker 1: avoid that in their relationship. That's mean that they don't
Speaker 1: want UM. So I think any sort of opportunity to
Speaker 1: talk about stuff is good. Yeah, I agree. I In fact,
Speaker 1: when I talked to my dad acton we used to talk,
Speaker 1: I I noticed I would pick up some of his
Speaker 1: mannerisms like subconsciously without even realizing it. And I had
Speaker 1: always think, like, crap, if I'm picking up some of
Speaker 1: the things without even realizing it, Like what am I
Speaker 1: not realized? Like what bad traits am I picking up
Speaker 1: without realizing? So hopefully that's not the case, Like d
Speaker 1: Andrew is saying, it's either you learn from it or
Speaker 1: you you pick it up and do it yourself. Hopefully
Speaker 1: this person is learning from that seat of doing it themselves.
Speaker 1: But all right, that's gonna do it. For this week's
Speaker 1: episode of Help, I Suck at Dating, uh Samantha and
Speaker 1: the anonymous email, I thank you guys so much for
Speaker 1: emailing us. Keep the emails coming. I Suck a Dating
Speaker 1: at I heeart media dot com. Uh, de Andrew. We're
Speaker 1: so excited to see what the future holds for you.
Speaker 1: Keep trying to date in l A. But like I said,
Speaker 1: do not find a boyfriend, because we want to see
Speaker 1: you back on Bachelor and Paradise this this next summer.
Speaker 1: And Kendall very very happy for you. We cannot wait
Speaker 1: to be updated as it moves along. What's serious? What's
Speaker 1: your like? What's your strategy with this? Because you you
Speaker 1: probably don't want to overshare the relationship, but you also
Speaker 1: don't want to undershare it, so like, what do you
Speaker 1: how are you going to navigate this? Um, it's just
Speaker 1: day by day. I think that I'm trusting. I'm just
Speaker 1: trusting Mitch and our relationship, and um, he's somebody that
Speaker 1: I feel like despite the distraction that it could be
Speaker 1: to be in more like a kind of public relationship
Speaker 1: with eyes on it. Um. I trust who he is
Speaker 1: to not let it really affect us. But I've never
Speaker 1: been in a relationship, haven't been in a relationship in
Speaker 1: a while. Um, but since you know the whole being
Speaker 1: one in paradise and so it's it's a little bit
Speaker 1: different for me. But he's patient with that. So nice.
Speaker 1: I love it. Well everyone, hope you overshare it because
Speaker 1: I want to keep staying updates from you guys. So um,
Speaker 1: big thank you to you guys for joining us. Kendall
Speaker 1: have fun in Spain uh and we will talk to
Speaker 1: you guys soon. Be sure to tune in next week
Speaker 1: where maybe we suck just a little bit less. Follow
Speaker 1: help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcast.