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Speaker 1: Nicky Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki here. I am good day

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Speaker 1: to you. Good sir and madam or they listening to

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Speaker 1: the podcast today. Thank you so much for tuning into

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Speaker 1: the Nicki Glaser Podcast. It's Thursday. I get said on

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Speaker 1: Thursdays because it's the weekend listen. I love doing this show,

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Speaker 1: so I hope you love listening to it. Um. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why you would be listening to it otherwise

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Speaker 1: maybe I hate listen. Sometimes we do things just to hate. Now,

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Speaker 1: what do you do anything where you're like I do

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Speaker 1: it to feel hatred and angry. I mean, of course

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Speaker 1: I have done that. I hate watching people go oh

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Speaker 1: I hate these people so much. I love watching them,

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Speaker 1: or like they make me so angry. I think people

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Speaker 1: just want to feel anything. Yeah, uh, not really with hate,

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Speaker 1: but just kind of like looking at other people's lives

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Speaker 1: that are not at all like my own that makes

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Speaker 1: you feel insecure and like that might make you feel

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Speaker 1: like bad, and yet you keep doing it because it's like,

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Speaker 1: I think that's different than hate watching, because I think

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Speaker 1: we all do things that are like this is bad

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Speaker 1: for me, but it feels so good. But I guess

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Speaker 1: that's the same thing. Like hate hate watching things feels

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Speaker 1: good because you're like, that's not my life. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: guess I just take it more as like voyeurism. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love. I love seeing inside people's lives. I even

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Speaker 1: I don't want to take credit for it, but I

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Speaker 1: do think so. When I was like in middle school,

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Speaker 1: I got Entertainment Weekly. I subscribe to it because I

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Speaker 1: like loved entertainment and like, you guys know, I was

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Speaker 1: voted most likely to become ciscale in my eighth grade.

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Speaker 1: Seen your superlative. Let's not let's not even mention the

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Speaker 1: fact that there was in my eighth grade super relative

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Speaker 1: like most likely too. There was also a most likely

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Speaker 1: to succeed, And I kid you not, I would give

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Speaker 1: anything for a copy of this. It said most likely

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Speaker 1: to succeed Katie Miller dot dot dot and the class

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Speaker 1: of two thousand two. They just like threw us all

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Speaker 1: in but also mostly Katie Miller and Katie Miller's is

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Speaker 1: truly the one that I always go to. Is like

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be here so bad. Um, but I

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Speaker 1: was most likely to be Cisco neighbor. Um. I got

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Speaker 1: Entertainment Weekly early on, and I remember they were doing

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Speaker 1: like a customer survey, and I felt really cool that,

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Speaker 1: Like we got a phone call and they were maybe

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Speaker 1: we speak to Nicole Glazer please, And my parents were like,

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Speaker 1: a man wants to talk to you and I'm like yes,

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Speaker 1: and they were like, we're doing a customer's research survey

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Speaker 1: as a subscriber to Entertainment Weekly. Like when you answer

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Speaker 1: these questions, you know the kinds of things that you

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Speaker 1: would now do on your phone. And I was like, hell,

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Speaker 1: yes I will and I remember them. At the end

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Speaker 1: of the call, they were like, are there any other

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Speaker 1: things that you would like to see in the magazine?

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Speaker 1: And I go, yes, you know what I want. I

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Speaker 1: want more paparazzi photos of celebrities, not on red carpets,

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Speaker 1: but like out and about and do I want to

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Speaker 1: say that I predicted and I was very influential in

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Speaker 1: the stars are just like US photos because US Weekly

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Speaker 1: wasn't out yet. All we had was National Enquirer and

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Speaker 1: that was like alien baby grows out of six year

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Speaker 1: old woman And it was always like those kinds. It

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Speaker 1: never was or it was like, you know, um, what's

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Speaker 1: that one woman that always wins? Is like on soap operas,

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Speaker 1: it would always be like, God, what is her fucking

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Speaker 1: Susan Luci's affair with Elvis? You know it was? It

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Speaker 1: wasn't like Stars without Makeup or Adam Sandler takes out

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Speaker 1: the trash like I wanted that ship. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: see Stars without Makeup, you know, which is also the

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Speaker 1: name of a band that I want to start. I

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Speaker 1: think the band Stars without Makeup would be a great

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Speaker 1: name for a band. Someone take it. I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to do anything with it. But um, I think I

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Speaker 1: was on the forefront of cing, of of being someone

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Speaker 1: who was like, we like to see celebrities in the

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Speaker 1: natural habitats, um, what do you like to watch on

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Speaker 1: we We went over on or on Instagram. We went

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Speaker 1: over the fact that you enjoy motivational um talks, which,

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Speaker 1: by the way, I want to give a shout out

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Speaker 1: to someone if you if you are like Noah and

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Speaker 1: enjoy motivational people. There's a guy from f Boy who

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Speaker 1: I just love. Um Jamie would official follow him. He

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Speaker 1: had a great one this morning that I even commented

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Speaker 1: on let's listen. Oh he's first of all, he's adorable,

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Speaker 1: so like he was a nice guy on the show.

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Speaker 1: Oh God, I'm connected to my dumb headphones. It says,

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Speaker 1: don't don't don't get upset when you're connected your not

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Speaker 1: connected to your or whatever. Okay, It's one thing I

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Speaker 1: was thinking about this morning, as UM, reflecting and getting

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Speaker 1: ready for the work days, that I've got to be

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Speaker 1: more mindful of what value statements I placed on my experiences,

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Speaker 1: the experiences that I've had in my life, whether good

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Speaker 1: or bad. Um may not, that may not be the case.

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Speaker 1: And oftentimes I placed those value statements on things to

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Speaker 1: make sense of maybe what I'm feeling. UM. And so

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Speaker 1: my challenge to you, UM is challenge dig deeper into

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Speaker 1: those things that you label good or bad and to

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Speaker 1: look for the lesson or the feelings or the emotions

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Speaker 1: that might be behind why you labeled as such. Okay,

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Speaker 1: what I wanted from him a little bit more was

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Speaker 1: like I wanted an example of his life, Like, what's

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Speaker 1: an example of something he labeled as bad that he

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Speaker 1: could find the good in? But I thought that was

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Speaker 1: a nice reminder. And you can tell that he's kind

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Speaker 1: of like inching towards doing kind of self helping stuff,

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Speaker 1: And I go, oh, you know what, as much as

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Speaker 1: it's like kind of you cringe to see someone attempt

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Speaker 1: to be an influencer, and that that doesn't go for Jamie.

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Speaker 1: He goes for anyone who just makes that pivot to

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Speaker 1: be like, I deserve to tell people how to feel good,

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Speaker 1: even me, you know, like making that pivot myself feels

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Speaker 1: like who do you think you are? Um, I actually

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Speaker 1: got something out of watching that. And he's he's gorgeous

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Speaker 1: to look at too, so that doesn't hurt. And Andrew

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Speaker 1: knows him too, and like we always just talk about

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Speaker 1: how Jamie one of the first guys to get like

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Speaker 1: a wristband from the Girls on the first episode of

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Speaker 1: f Why Island from a clear front runner from the beginning.

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Speaker 1: He uh, he's just a good person, and I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: uh he uh. Andrew's always like he could have gone

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Speaker 1: pro man, like he's like a legit football player, like

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Speaker 1: like a lot of these guys say they they're pro

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Speaker 1: like he's legit. He just got injured, so um, Jamie

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Speaker 1: would official I I wrote underneath it. I learned yesterday

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Speaker 1: that although I live like to live myself my life

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Speaker 1: honestly and I feel like I never lie. There was

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Speaker 1: something that I sent a text message to someone in

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Speaker 1: an attempt to have something done like I wanted. I

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Speaker 1: wanted something right, and I decided to phrase it in

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Speaker 1: a way. There were there were a couple. There were

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Speaker 1: probably three truths about why I wanted this thing. Because

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Speaker 1: I wanted someone else whose feelings I think I have

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Speaker 1: control over, to feel good. So I was asking a

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Speaker 1: favor of someone to do something that would make a

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Speaker 1: friend of mine feel good. Right, So that was number one,

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Speaker 1: make this person who kind of seems to be annoyed

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Speaker 1: with me feel better. Number two, I think it is

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Speaker 1: the right thing to do what I'm asking for. And

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Speaker 1: number three, UM, I have insecurities that the person I

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Speaker 1: was asking for this thing from UM has problems with

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Speaker 1: the person I'm asking them to do it for, So

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to make them like this person more by

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Speaker 1: like so many, so many motives going on in my head.

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Speaker 1: But before the text message I sent, you would have

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Speaker 1: thought I had one motive, which was just dumb. I

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Speaker 1: just want people to feel good and there's nothing self

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Speaker 1: serving about this, But they was totally self serving. I

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Speaker 1: had so many It was very layered, and because I

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Speaker 1: wasn't honest and just asked for what I wanted, and

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Speaker 1: because I felt like the person I was asking for

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Speaker 1: it from um needed to be served this request with

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Speaker 1: kid gloves because I was so scared of this person's

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Speaker 1: response than them taking it the wrong way. Guess what,

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Speaker 1: I gave them a bunch of bullshit around it of

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Speaker 1: why I wanted this favor, and it didn't need that bullshit.

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Speaker 1: All I need to do is ask for the favor.

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Speaker 1: It didn't need to be like like I always tell

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Speaker 1: you guys, if you don't want to go to a

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Speaker 1: party and your friend and you have to cancel because

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Speaker 1: you're anxious or because your stomach hearts are because you

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Speaker 1: just don't want to go, you can just say I

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Speaker 1: can't make it, and you don't need to give up

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Speaker 1: a reason. You don't need to make up a fake reason. Now,

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Speaker 1: although my reasoning behind this text were all true, the

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Speaker 1: real truth was not what I I was manipulating. I

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Speaker 1: was trying to send this text to get what I

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Speaker 1: wanted where that person wouldn't be mad at me. And

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Speaker 1: guess who got mad at me? That person because they

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Speaker 1: sensed it was bullshit and like, and they took it

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Speaker 1: the wrong way. So I was like, it led to

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Speaker 1: a huge misunderstanding A lot of drama, a week of

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Speaker 1: pain and strife and us me and this person not

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Speaker 1: talking because we're both mad at each other. Then we

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Speaker 1: get on the phone yesterday. I understand their side of things.

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Speaker 1: How they read the text I I understood. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I sent that text that I thought was innocuous. Why

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Speaker 1: are you mad at me about that? Because it was

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Speaker 1: laced with bullshit I was trying. I I wasn't being

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Speaker 1: authentic even though I thought I was being it. Now

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Speaker 1: what is that? Where do I get the good out

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Speaker 1: of that? Now? I can look at how I text

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Speaker 1: this person who I have a lot of anxiety about

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Speaker 1: texting them because I feel like they're gonna get mad

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Speaker 1: at me. I feel like I can control how they

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Speaker 1: perceive it. All I need to do is just be

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Speaker 1: honest with this person, and like when I asked for things,

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Speaker 1: not have a million caveats, and that way, when they

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Speaker 1: get mad at me, they're mad about something that's true

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Speaker 1: and that I can defend because it was true, as

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Speaker 1: opposed to now he's mad at me for something that

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Speaker 1: wasn't even true. And I go, well, I was you ever?

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Speaker 1: Me and me and Rachel used to say this thing,

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Speaker 1: no about um? You know St the woman at the

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Speaker 1: comedy seller she runs. We're all scared of her, even

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Speaker 1: though she's a lovely woman, but she just like decides

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Speaker 1: the lineups and getting a set at the comedy seller.

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Speaker 1: It means everything to a comic, even like Chris Rock

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Speaker 1: kind of gets nervous around STI. And I'm just saying

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Speaker 1: that as an example. I don't know that to be true,

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Speaker 1: but it's just you people that you would never you

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Speaker 1: would go you care what st thinks about you? And

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Speaker 1: they're like shaking in their boots, Like I think Sti's

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Speaker 1: met at me tonight and it's like, no, she just,

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Speaker 1: you know, got someone cut her off in traffic on

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Speaker 1: the way here, and she's like kind of annoyed by that,

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Speaker 1: and it's nothing about you. Um. However, Rachel and I

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Speaker 1: always say that, like when in our people Pleasing days,

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Speaker 1: we used to sit at that table with st and

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Speaker 1: nervously at the Comedy Seller, and if ST would be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know what I I watched, Um, I watched that

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Speaker 1: Bachelorette last night. I saw the finale of the Bachelorette.

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Speaker 1: We would try. I did have the opinion that we

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Speaker 1: thought Est was going to have no matter how we

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Speaker 1: felt about it. So I would go, oh, I hate

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Speaker 1: her just because I would think like ESTI would hate

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Speaker 1: her even if I don't hate her, right, So then

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Speaker 1: I go, I isn't she the worst? And as people go, no,

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Speaker 1: I like her, and I go, oh, no, I've I

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Speaker 1: actually like her too. We could have had a good conversation.

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Speaker 1: But now I've just have you ever done that, Noah,

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Speaker 1: where you try to like someone pleasing? Yeah, and then

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Speaker 1: you're stuck in this opinion that you don't even have.

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Speaker 1: And then est He's like, why do you hate her?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't And it's more embarrassing for

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Speaker 1: me to admit that I tried to people please, So

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna pretend like I do and come up

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Speaker 1: with a bunch of more lies. Um that is, but

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Speaker 1: we I I still find myself doing that. But the

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Speaker 1: benefit now And I said to this person because I go,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry for I just wish I would have been honest.

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Speaker 1: And I was starting to beat myself up, like why

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Speaker 1: do I still do this? Why I still scared of you?

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Speaker 1: And your response? And the person was really good about

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Speaker 1: being like because I I've conditioned you to be that way.

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Speaker 1: By my behavior in the past that I'm working on,

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Speaker 1: Like I haven't made you feel safe to be yourself

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Speaker 1: around me, and I'm working on that. And I was like, fuck, yes,

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Speaker 1: I love someone who can see their side of the street,

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Speaker 1: even if I'm the one in the wrong. And I

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Speaker 1: was able to see my side, and I go, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I'm so glad this happened because it's going

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Speaker 1: to make me more aware now when I send texts

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Speaker 1: of what am I trying to get out of this?

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Speaker 1: Why am I doing this? Is it? Am I really

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Speaker 1: being authentic? Today? I had an opinion about something, UM,

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Speaker 1: and I knew that I would probably need to talk

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Speaker 1: to this person. It wasn't it was not confrontational, but

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Speaker 1: it was like a touchy subject, and um, I wrote,

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Speaker 1: I wrote a whole text message, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: this person doesn't need to receive this big block of

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Speaker 1: text right now. I knew the person was like busy

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Speaker 1: with something, and I'm like, I'm going to see this

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Speaker 1: person later. I can just talk to this person about

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Speaker 1: it then. And so I was like I had decided, like,

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Speaker 1: just niched your thought and then copy and copy and

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Speaker 1: then paste this in your notes and then if you

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Speaker 1: want to send it later, send it, but just sit

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Speaker 1: on it. Of course I accidentally press send, so I wrote,

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Speaker 1: please don't read it, please don't read this now. It

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Speaker 1: was meant to send later, and the person really appreciated it,

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Speaker 1: actually because man, I had the best morning already because

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Speaker 1: the person I was I was. I was telling a

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Speaker 1: person that I was worried about another person in their

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Speaker 1: life being maybe having signs of depression that they weren't

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Speaker 1: that I was picking up on as someone who suffered

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Speaker 1: with it, and um, they were just exhibiting signs of

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Speaker 1: depression that I've noticed, just us like that. They don't

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Speaker 1: even notice that they're giving out that I just wanted

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Speaker 1: to flag for this person who is a friend, is

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Speaker 1: close to this person, And I go, it's none of

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Speaker 1: my business, actually, like I don't need I'm probably projecting,

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Speaker 1: And he goes, actually this is important because as I've learned,

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Speaker 1: like no one you know when he goes the Joe

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Speaker 1: Rogan thing. Remember when you send out at that tweet

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Speaker 1: about wanting to shave your head, and no one it

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00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,200
Speaker 1: was a cry for help, but you were too scared

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Speaker 1: to actually cry for helps. You put out a joke

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Speaker 1: and only one person picked up on you being in pain,

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Speaker 1: and then he reached out to you that it takes

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Speaker 1: that one person, the bystander fact, Kitty Genevise, like you

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Speaker 1: think everyone else is doing it? You know, Noah, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. How are you with UM? Like when when

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Speaker 1: you have friends who are who are who lost someone

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Speaker 1: close to them, are grieving, are going through something that

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Speaker 1: maybe you haven't been through before. I have you lost

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Speaker 1: uh someone like have you suffered like a tragic death

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Speaker 1: or loss in your life? And and I'm not And

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Speaker 1: you know Bruno, your dog even comes to mind for me.

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Speaker 1: Is like I wasn't there for you in the way

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Speaker 1: that I would want to be there for a best

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Speaker 1: friend for your the death of Bruno. And it wasn't

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Speaker 1: because I didn't care, but it was because I felt

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Speaker 1: like I would like to have been better. But I

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00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:03,080
Speaker 1: feel so I've talked about this before. I really don't

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Speaker 1: handle death well. And I sometimes abandoned friends UM when

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Speaker 1: they are dealing with it. And if someone a friend

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Speaker 1: did that to me, if I lost my father or

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Speaker 1: my dog or uh an earring I really liked UM,

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Speaker 1: I would feel like mad at that friend, even though

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Speaker 1: I do the same thing. UM do you tell me,

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Speaker 1: tell me about your experience with like comforting people through

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Speaker 1: Hold on a second. I just want to go back

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00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:32,840
Speaker 1: and say, uh, we had a very like meaningful and

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00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:38,720
Speaker 1: like touching conversation UM after Bruno passed away, which I

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00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,040
Speaker 1: think about all the time, and I want to say

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Speaker 1: that you, once upon a time gave me really good

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00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 1: advice about UM. I told you that, like a friend

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Speaker 1: of mine invited me to her bridal shower that was

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Speaker 1: out in Long Island, and it was like this whole

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00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,640
Speaker 1: big thing to get there, and it was it was

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Speaker 1: creating me more stress to go than to go. And

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Speaker 1: you told me, look, she's still going to have a

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Speaker 1: great time that day whether you're there or not. It's

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Speaker 1: not it's not your day. It's not about you being

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00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:12,400
Speaker 1: there whether or not the party is great. So just

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00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,960
Speaker 1: let her know that you can't go. And I did,

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00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 1: and everything was just fine. I felt better. I through

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Speaker 1: pictures I special that she had a great time. And

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00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,960
Speaker 1: I think that also applies to when a person is mourning,

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Speaker 1: and when I was going through Bruno's death, which is

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Speaker 1: not really like this big tragic death. I have a

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Speaker 1: friend who lost her mother in a very tragic way, um,

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00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 1: but I wasn't thinking about I can't believe that my

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00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,920
Speaker 1: friends are not here to come from me. I was

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00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,320
Speaker 1: just like in this like vortex and it was like

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00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,680
Speaker 1: my own world. But any little thing that someone gave me,

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00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 1: like any morsel of um, just like acknowledgement, felt great.

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00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,520
Speaker 1: So so I think I'm glad to hear that a

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00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 1: conversation we had, because I do remember having a conversation

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Speaker 1: with you. I think it was long after I had

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00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,480
Speaker 1: first thought to reach out to you about it, and

331
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,760
Speaker 1: I think I am and you know, like when you

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00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 1: comforted me that time in Cayman Islands, when I called you,

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00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,359
Speaker 1: like I kind of forgot about that too, you know,

334
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:19,720
Speaker 1: like but it was but it happened, Like you're sometimes

335
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,520
Speaker 1: the like you're not even aware of when you've helped

336
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,399
Speaker 1: out or when you've received help, Like I'm not my

337
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 1: the story I'm telling myself might not be the story

338
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,679
Speaker 1: that other people are experiencing. And I don't know. I

339
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:36,200
Speaker 1: just often feel like with you, especially like I you're

340
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,280
Speaker 1: someone who I feel has been a better friend to

341
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 1: me than I've been to you in terms of like

342
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,879
Speaker 1: I help no expectation like friends you and I never have,

343
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,400
Speaker 1: like that's the other thing. I never feel like I've

344
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,119
Speaker 1: I've come short, Like I know you'll ask for what

345
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 1: you need from me, And that's what I want for

346
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,960
Speaker 1: all my friends, is like, Hey, if if I bumm

347
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,480
Speaker 1: you out and I'm not there for you in a way,

348
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 1: will you let me know. And that's a lot to

349
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:00,960
Speaker 1: ask of other people. Well, like you should try to.

350
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,600
Speaker 1: But I will say that with norms passing, I have

351
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 1: a couple of friends who are very close to him,

352
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 1: very close to him, and um one friend in particular

353
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:15,000
Speaker 1: who is maybe was the closest to him, who is

354
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 1: not someone I'm extremely close to. I mean, I looked

355
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,000
Speaker 1: at our I pulled up you know his name to

356
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:25,399
Speaker 1: text him, and I hadn't texted him since December, and

357
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,800
Speaker 1: before that had been maybe a year and a half,

358
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 1: Like it's and and I only texted him because we

359
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 1: were meeting up with friends and I didn't know where

360
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,520
Speaker 1: to go, and I knew he was going to be there,

361
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 1: Like it wasn't we don't talk, you know, but we're

362
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 1: friendly when we see each other. And I was like,

363
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 1: this person is a part of many clips that are

364
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 1: circulating right now. He's probably getting bombarded by support and

365
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 1: condolences and all of that, but you know, and and

366
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 1: and I could let myself off the hook for this one,

367
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 1: even even Spade, Like I know Spade was friends with Norm,

368
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,480
Speaker 1: and I think I wanted to write him right away

369
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 1: when I found out, but I waited a day and

370
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 1: I just sent like a voice memo of like I'm

371
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,399
Speaker 1: thinking of you, Like it's uncomfortable for me to like

372
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 1: be that sincere and like I don't know what to say.

373
00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,600
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of you, Um, I'm here, that kind of stuff.

374
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 1: But I wrote to this person that is probably closer

375
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 1: to Norm than anyone that I knew of, and um,

376
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:31,479
Speaker 1: this morning I just wrote and was like I just

377
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 1: thought about what maybe I would want to hear. I

378
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 1: tried to like golden rule it for myself. And I

379
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,120
Speaker 1: also thought, like all these clips I'm watching whenever Norm

380
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 1: is inn a clip with this person, there seems to

381
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 1: be like an energy to Norm that's like he just

382
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,400
Speaker 1: seems happy and comfortable. And I was like, wow, I'm

383
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 1: really grateful for for this person to have been in

384
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 1: Norm's life. And so I just was like I just

385
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 1: wrote him like a thank you of like thank you

386
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,119
Speaker 1: for bringing the ba as out in this person in

387
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 1: the years that he knew you, the last years of

388
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 1: his life that he was close to you, like, thanks

389
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 1: for making this icon that we all loved feel so

390
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,640
Speaker 1: be the best version of himself. And honestly, I wouldn't

391
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,199
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be crazy to think that you prolonged his

392
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,199
Speaker 1: life because you know, surrounding yourself with people that make

393
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 1: you happy and feel free definitely helps your health. And

394
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: this person is obviously going through it. And I just said,

395
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 1: you know, send me a voice memo whenever you want

396
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 1: to like dump your feelings. I go, I don't even

397
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 1: need to respond to it. You can tell me don't

398
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 1: write back, Like sometimes we want to cry and we

399
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 1: don't want anything, but we don't want it it to

400
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 1: be acknowledged, like what we just said, because it's so vulnerable.

401
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 1: And also I go voice messages like disappear like if

402
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 1: you ever want to, just like spill it, and I

403
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I feel like that's such a

404
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,400
Speaker 1: sign of growth for me to be able to do

405
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,159
Speaker 1: that for people who you know, I'm I'm just a

406
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 1: different person now like that that. It wasn't hard for

407
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 1: me to do that. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible.

408
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 1: And I've really let down other people in my life

409
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 1: before when they've lost people close to them, because I

410
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,399
Speaker 1: feel like, honestly, like if I give a little bit,

411
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 1: they're going to need me to stay over the night

412
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 1: and hold them, and like it's going to disrupt my life.

413
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: And it's like if it does, I guess what I

414
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 1: can say no and go what else can I do

415
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: for you that is within my doing? Like I can

416
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,359
Speaker 1: have boundaries around people that are grieving, and I feel

417
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 1: like I get scared that I won't be able to.

418
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 1: I also just want to say before we bring Andrew in,

419
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 1: I just had a voice lesson, my first voice lesson,

420
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 1: and I probably sang for like two minutes of the

421
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 1: entire voice lesson. It was an hour. I met a

422
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 1: new best friend. She is incredible. I talked so much

423
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 1: about why I got why. First of all, I walk

424
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 1: in and her voice is like a SMR, like like

425
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,880
Speaker 1: I was like soothed her. She had a sweet little

426
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: cat that came up and like instantly wanted to touch me,

427
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I feel very comfortable with

428
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: this woman. And I just told her like what I

429
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 1: needed in terms of a voice teacher, I don't want

430
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 1: to know about the logistics of like the vocal cords

431
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 1: slept together and the air goes through here like the diaphragm.

432
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 1: I get the science and we can get there, but

433
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 1: for me, it's going to be very mindful and like

434
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: imagine your head is a balloon, Like I like visualization techniques.

435
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 1: She let me close my eyes when I sang, because

436
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 1: it's really it's embarrassing to sing, especially when you're like

437
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 1: like your voice is like cracking, and she's like, just

438
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: let it crack. That's like part of it. This is calistenics,

439
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna if you're doing aerobics, you're gonna trip sometimes,

440
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: Like it's just that's gonna be that. And but then

441
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: we just got it starting to talk about like why

442
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 1: what Like when I get nervous talking to someone, if

443
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,479
Speaker 1: I ever grab my throat, it's because I'm like I

444
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 1: don't want to say, like I'm really scared about what

445
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm about saying. I'm trying to hold it in. And

446
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: like when I grab my chest, it's because I'm like

447
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: I've just noticed these cues for myself. Sometimes I grab

448
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: my chest when I'm like really feeling someone like I'm

449
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,199
Speaker 1: just emotionally connected to someone in open and then when

450
00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,119
Speaker 1: I grab my throat, I am so closed off. And

451
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,159
Speaker 1: we just got into like the semantics and things. And

452
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: she's like a rieky ky healer. This woman is incredible

453
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: and like we ended the session being like, I am

454
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: so grateful to meet you on like at a huge

455
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: embrace and I was just like new best friend, NBF.

456
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 1: She's gonna you know, she allowed me. She was like,

457
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable being on camera. I'm like, well, the cameras

458
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 1: that are about to feel follow me around are gonna

459
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,360
Speaker 1: follow me to your place a lot? Because she goes

460
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: some of our sessions. We can do reeking and said,

461
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 1: I go a racky and I go, no, we're adding

462
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: on sessions. I want to be around you a lot.

463
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: You're so calming and I feel so peaceful. Let's get

464
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,880
Speaker 1: Andrew in here and uh and crank up the anxiety.

465
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: J K. He makes me feel great too, What up, Andrew?

466
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 1: I'm wearing sunglasses today because I don't know, I don't

467
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: feel like putting eye on eyeliner yet. I didn't get

468
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 1: a chance to love the shade. Thanks. I left my

469
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 1: makeup and fucking where are Ray Charlotte, you look very

470
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: machine gun Kelly like Pink loves pink. You know what,

471
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 1: whatever daddy tells me to wear. That's what Megan Fox

472
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 1: said on the Red Carpet. Did you see that? They're like,

473
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: you look amazing tonight. She's like, I just wear whatever

474
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 1: daddy says to wear. And then he was like kind

475
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: of embarrassing, like kisses her cheek and the woman's like, now, like,

476
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 1: you know you're so talented to Megan, like my Bloody Valentine,

477
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: she was in like the video for My Bloody Valentine,

478
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: and they're like, are we going to see you any

479
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: more videos? And she was like, yeah, I would imagine so,

480
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: because I'm not gonna let any like video hos be

481
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: next to him. And I was just like, this is

482
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: doomed because he's he's a musician who makes music videos.

483
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: So no women are ever allowed to be in a

484
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 1: video with him evercert No women in the audience, no one.

485
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: Remember you asked me yesterday, every day in an open thing?

486
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 1: Does that Does that cover it for you? Buddy? You go,

487
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: maybe they're open. I go, no, she is not someone

488
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,439
Speaker 1: that will share that man, and and rightfully so. But

489
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 1: um I just loved her saying no, I think he'll

490
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: break up with her. If I have to guess within

491
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 1: a year, that's when I'm guessing. Not to be a pessimist.

492
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: I just he seems like he's he goes through a

493
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 1: lot of stages, whether it's his music career. Are you

494
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 1: projecting No, not at all, of like different things he tries.

495
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 1: You try a lot of different things too. Well. Yeah,

496
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 1: I mean I could have something in common with the Gunner.

497
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 1: The Gunner. Oh my god, Spade sent me a picture

498
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 1: of a guy that looked like him today and goes

499
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 1: squirt gun Kelly. It's like a little rent version. I

500
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, he's the Gunner. He got you in

501
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 1: the scope. I mean I've been I watched, I tried.

502
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: I want to show you his documentary he likes. So

503
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 1: he was this thing called Kelly Vision on YouTube where

504
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 1: they were vogus. But I'm talking it went back eight

505
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: years ago. Like you could see him like sleeping on

506
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 1: a couch, like literally doing his first shows for like

507
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: nine people. He is a genius. Yeah, I don't toss

508
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 1: that work. Well I do tossing around, but like he

509
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:02,919
Speaker 1: is truly, Um, you think a lot you know, I

510
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: think we all do genius. It's like, is he going

511
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: to get us to space? Is he going to get

512
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,159
Speaker 1: us landing on Mars? No? But musical genius. I do

513
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: think he's up there with um with the grades I

514
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 1: and you know, I don't know, he's just so um

515
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: so much wasted talent. How many geniuses do you think

516
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 1: out there that probably could have cured cancer, but instead

517
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 1: they like I don't know, are good mechanic, you know

518
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: what I mean? Because they just didn't have have the

519
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: right parents that guided them in the right direction. I mean,

520
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 1: you know, I think everything happens for a reason. I

521
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 1: went to my voice lesson today and I was talking

522
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: to her about how like I got like I wanted

523
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: to be a singer songwriter. But you know that one

524
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 1: time my mom got a call, like I think she

525
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: called my singing teacher to find out, like, does Nikki

526
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 1: Gona like, are we wasting our money? We're dealing with here? Yeah?

527
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 1: Exactly like progy or not? And the answer was no,

528
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: because most people aren't. You know, It's like you how

529
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 1: much worse singing lesson? Maybe it was a money at

530
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 1: financial issue back then. I mean, I'm sure my mom

531
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 1: didn't like shelling out twenty bucks for an hour or

532
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 1: whatever it was back in one area, but um, you

533
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 1: know those pre nine eleven prices, um, But it was

534
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: more about driving to Chesterfield every Saturday or Sunday morning,

535
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: like I remember that, and you know, like not wanting

536
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 1: your daughter to be embarrassing and to like know and

537
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: to be more self aware, like stop pursuing this thing

538
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: that you ain't got, bitch? What what is your mom?

539
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: Because you remember you brought it up at that show.

540
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: It was so funny when you were talking about it.

541
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: Has has she ever been like your misconstruing the history

542
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 1: of this or and what is she saying? That one?

543
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: She doesn't remember, so yeah, I think she doesn't remember,

544
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,880
Speaker 1: but I I remember specifically she You know, back then

545
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: you didn't know. It wasn't even an option to be

546
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 1: a singer songwriter? Like what was that? I didn't know

547
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 1: how to play an instrument? So what am I? How

548
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 1: am I going to be a songwriter? Like even though

549
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 1: that's what I wanted to be? And I think that

550
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 1: the goal then was just acapella a choir. That's why

551
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 1: we got into it, was to become a better second alto.

552
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: And then also musical theater, and yeah, I don't have

553
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 1: a good voice for either of those things. Like I

554
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 1: have a good but neither does Tom wait does Eddie Vetter?

555
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,239
Speaker 1: Neither does a lot. I mean I can't think of

556
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: like women that have like different voices, but like Anya

557
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: might not be great on on Broadway, but her voice

558
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 1: is perfect for the kind And I don't even like Broadway.

559
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: I do like talking like this and I can and

560
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: I will be genius. But you know, I that was

561
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: the only that was the goal. So I think that

562
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,959
Speaker 1: when we we when she realized like I wasn't going

563
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: to be a great Broadway singer, it was like, my

564
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: daughter needs to make money someday, Like I want my

565
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: daughter to be successful. This ain't it. Let's focus on

566
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: something else where Do you think that? Like, so you

567
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: couldn't say you didn't sing? Yeah, what about you with football? Same?

568
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Yeah, well yeah, but I think

569
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: it was my dad didn't want me to play football

570
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 1: because I was so small. He thought I'd get hurt. Um.

571
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 1: But I mean it wasn't really like you know, with soccer,

572
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: with traveling soccer, parents have to like sacrifice so much,

573
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 1: like taking their kids, like you know, some of these

574
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: kids play like sixty five games in a year, you

575
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like it's wild now. And Taylor's

576
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: parents had to move to Nashville because they believed in her.

577
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: Well she put you know, they she had enough. She

578
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: wrote songs and sang and like your mom went to

579
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: drive to Chester, Phil her parents moved dedicated. And you know,

580
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: some some parents moved to Hollywood for their kids, and

581
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 1: some of them are doing it because their kids wanted.

582
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 1: Someone are doing it because they wanted. They just have

583
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: a cocaine problem. And it's better in Hollywood. Like like

584
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: I like it was for the kid, it was for

585
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: the kids. I mean you weren't really there for the kid.

586
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 1: You were just so you have to have that perfect

587
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: mixture of like the kind of supportive parents that even

588
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: allows you to even have access to the football like

589
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: program or the swimming program. Like all these people have

590
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: parents that have either expendable money or um or they

591
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 1: have so much show so much promise early on that

592
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 1: someone invests in them to finance these kinds of dreams.

593
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. It's like we you know, my nephew,

594
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: it is good at jiu jitsu he's been doing it

595
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: a lot lately, like he's unreal. But then with hockey,

596
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: he didn't play hockey for like a year and a

597
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: half and he's only like seven or eight. My brother

598
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 1: brought him to like these tryouts and he was by far,

599
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: like not even close to like it was noticeable because

600
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 1: in hockey it really shows, like if you can't skate

601
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 1: as good, it's really and it was so hard for

602
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 1: him to be like, well, I'm good in this one thing.

603
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: But but then also he's seven or eight, Like, do

604
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 1: you give up on him because he's so far behind

605
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: right now? Like I think, no, you don't give up,

606
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: you do you go First of all, you don't want

607
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: to put your kid into anything. I don't think that

608
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: they don't want to do. And I know that some

609
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: kids are like I don't want to go to swim practice,

610
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 1: and it's like, okay, well do you want to be

611
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: great at this? Do you like? Do you that? Then

612
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 1: there's certain things you're gonna have to do. But if

613
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 1: the kid is like I hate swimming, I hate it's

614
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: hockey whatever, then no. But if they and even if

615
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: they're not good at it and they still enjoy it,

616
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 1: let them do it. But I think it's really about

617
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,320
Speaker 1: that we might not have any violin players, because what

618
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: kid really wants to play the violin? I think, um,

619
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: kids start. I think at age eight kids start to

620
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: feel embarrassment. Also, That's what I would be worried about.

621
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: That's what i'd be worried about if he was at

622
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 1: like the practice and he was by far the worse

623
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: or something, you know, like being able to rationalize, well,

624
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 1: I'm good at this because I do this a lot.

625
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: I haven't done this a lot, but I would give

626
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: examples of people that they admire, maybe even themselves. Like

627
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: as a parent, I would say, well, let me tell you,

628
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 1: like the thing that mommy is best at, she was

629
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: really bad at and I embarrass myself so many times,

630
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: and look at all these other people. Watch um, you

631
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: know much. Watch Michelle Williams fall on the catwalk she's

632
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: in she was in Destiny's Child though, and she said

633
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: prosper ready, Like I would show embarrassing moments of people

634
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: that made it to defray that. I guess that would

635
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: my approach if someone was really embarrassed. I mean, there's

636
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 1: so many aren't great until they go through puberty, and

637
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: like I mean I know this For an example, like

638
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: I was freshman year from in college. For a senior

639
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 1: year in high school, I was thirty percent stronger. It's

640
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 1: when you go through puberty, like so to like deny

641
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 1: your kids. So when you were singing, maybe your voice

642
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: when you hit puberty started to become even better and

643
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: you had more confidence. So it's like, I don't know,

644
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: it's just like parents need. I wasn't ready for it.

645
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 1: I'm learning like through this. I went to the session today.

646
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: I was just telling Noah, I walked in the same

647
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: person that you've done before, new lady through a I

648
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: just googled singing like guitar singing lessons and um, I

649
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,479
Speaker 1: wanted to find someone who could do both. But they

650
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 1: couldn't find anyone locally, so and they're throughout the whole country.

651
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 1: I'll I don't remember. I just call the hotline and

652
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: I thought it was local because Google. I don't really know. Yeah.

653
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: I called a guy and he's in Texas and he's

654
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: his name was Noah, oddly enough, and I was like,

655
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: explain my situation and he's like I go, I do comment, like,

656
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: I oh, no, this is on. No. I went to

657
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: her place, but this is the dispatcher who finds you people.

658
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: So they're a rotary company. Yeah, let me give them

659
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: a shout out because they really did find great teachers

660
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 1: for me, and maybe teachers who are looking for work

661
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: and placement can look at it. But um, Taylor Robinson Music.

662
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 1: Taylor Robinson Music. So I called this guy thinking that exactly,

663
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: Dolores in South County. So he um, I'm talking to

664
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,719
Speaker 1: him on the phone. His name is Noah, and I

665
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm comedian, but I'm trying to

666
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 1: like transition to singing songwriting. I don't know what I'm

667
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: doing to that. And he's like, oh, I'm actually just

668
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 1: giving comedy a try. I'm mutually a musician. I was like,

669
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: oh that's cool. I go, I'm actually a famous comedian

670
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer and he's like, oh my god, well all right,

671
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: well yeah I've watched a tunny or stuff. And then

672
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: he was like talking about like and he wasn't that impressed,

673
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: which was cool, but he was just like, okay, cool,

674
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: all right, well we'll and and he placed me with

675
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: this woman. Um down the ways. I got to go

676
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 1: to part of St. Louis I've never been to before

677
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: that was so cute and just like on the other

678
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: side of King's Highway, it's called like I forget what

679
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,319
Speaker 1: she said it was called, but I walked in and

680
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 1: I told Noah instantly, like her voice is a smr.

681
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: Her like house was dimly lit. She had a really

682
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: sweet cat that just came right up to me. There

683
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: was just an energy about this girl that like I

684
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 1: was just like I love this, and I just felt

685
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 1: comfortable in sharing my experience of what led me there

686
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 1: and like the ups and downs and like and then

687
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: pretty soon, you know, we we talked the entire time,

688
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 1: Like there was no singing. There was a little bit singing,

689
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: but like not much because we just both ended up

690
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: sharing like struggles in our life and how um and

691
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 1: how we found things later in life, like we found

692
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 1: out who we really were later in life when we

693
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,919
Speaker 1: thought along the way we had like found it or

694
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: and then we had tried escape it, and like we

695
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 1: have a very similar story. I don't think either of

696
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 1: us ever thought that we would get in within an

697
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: hour to the places we went emotionally, like she almost

698
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 1: started crying at one point, I was almost crying at

699
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: one point. At the end of it, we like hugged

700
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 1: and we're just like I like love you like I.

701
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: This is like it felt like, uh, you know, the

702
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 1: universe worked some magic to put these two people together

703
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: that I was like, she she's just she's like a healer,

704
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,280
Speaker 1: She's an energy. She does reiky you know, in sound healing,

705
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 1: and I go, I've only done sound healing like on

706
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: reality shows where it's like isn't this weird, Let's make

707
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 1: fun of it, And so I was like I'm dying

708
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 1: to do those sessions. So we just like it was

709
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 1: like therapeutic and her I can't I you know, I'll

710
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: ask her permission at some point to share some of

711
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 1: the things I learned about her, but like she's just

712
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 1: some I'm gonna be able to get close to someone

713
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 1: who has a story that I am very excited to

714
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: like unwrap because it's like, um, you know, it's just

715
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: a it's I've never met anyone who's and had like

716
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: enough intimacy with someone to really ask about the process

717
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: that they have gone through to like be who they are,

718
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: And like I just feel like I finally have that

719
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,480
Speaker 1: kind of friend who, um can like make me empathize

720
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 1: with a type of person or a like that I've

721
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,439
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to empathize with those with a human

722
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: with that's been through that experience, but I've always been

723
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: almost scared to engage because I'm like, they don't want

724
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 1: to be friends with me, and I don't really they

725
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: probably look at me like I don't like you know,

726
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: it's just when I there's I always have, I'm always

727
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: I was talking also about like reaching out to friends

728
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 1: of norm to like comfort them or to like offer

729
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: my support, and like I just feel like because I

730
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 1: haven't suffered deep loss or I haven't been through the

731
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 1: same kind of trauma or even anything close to it,

732
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: that they don't want to hear me ask questions that

733
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: my questions are almost going to seem um either like

734
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 1: I can't relate, or like voyeuristic, like wait, tell me

735
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 1: what it's like you do that, or like and I

736
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:02,399
Speaker 1: never want I just but the truth is like they

737
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 1: can tell me that they can have boundaries and say, hey,

738
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 1: I'd rather not share that, Like I can ask questions

739
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: and not be like a bad person for well, what

740
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: do you want to find out? Like, like let me

741
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: give an example, like if it would be like if

742
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: someone UM grew up in like um uhhold or no

743
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 1: no no, like um like uh in in Palestine, like

744
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 1: a refuge if I met a refugee. Now I feel

745
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 1: like I can't. I don't want to be friends with

746
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 1: refugees because first of all, I can't even fathom the

747
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: experience of that, and they they're going to look at

748
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,879
Speaker 1: me like this privileged piece of ship that I'm also

749
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 1: going to feel like. I also don't know anything about

750
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,839
Speaker 1: the conflict and where they came from, and like don't

751
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: know any of the history of it, So I feel

752
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 1: stupid about what they're going through. I feel ignorant, and

753
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, they could teach me about it,

754
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: but I should know by now, so I feel like

755
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: I'll have to do research beforehand. I don't want to

756
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 1: have to do, you know, like all those hang ups

757
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: I have about someone else's experience that keeps me from

758
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 1: actually being friends with people who I deem like um

759
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: other you know and other meaning like good or bad,

760
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 1: other like even like you know. I was talking yesterday

761
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: to the woman that I'm working with on writing my

762
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 1: book about babysitting for the Apataws and being like I

763
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 1: felt like a fucking disgusting like hobo walking in their

764
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:19,439
Speaker 1: house and pulling my civic up to their beautiful gate.

765
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 1: It like I felt like it might be like I

766
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: would go through the gate and be like, we sent

767
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: a car from before two thousand five, please detonate like

768
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 1: they would like just sense that I was dirty and

769
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:32,760
Speaker 1: like didn't belong in their world. And I feel that sometimes,

770
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 1: did you feel that dead on where you got to

771
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: know them? No? That That's what I loved about that

772
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 1: experience was like they were such a normal family. Yeah,

773
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: I mean do you struggle with like comforting people when

774
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: they've gone through loss? You know? It was so funny.

775
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: I was literally I was literally just listening to Bob

776
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: sagg it do talk on YouTube about his relationship with

777
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: Norm and it was so touching, and I was like,

778
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: should I write Bob Sag like because we're friendly in

779
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: a way, should I write him on Instagram be like hey,

780
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 1: I just listened to your thing and you know, my

781
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: thoughts are with you something like that, not a question,

782
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,760
Speaker 1: just like oh you're heard, because who knows if anyone's

783
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 1: writing him or whatever. And it just hit me like yeah,

784
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: and I just and then I go, But then I go,

785
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: I do have thoughts, like what am I doing that

786
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: for selfish reasons? Am I doing that? Because? But but

787
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: I don't. I only I question him like I'm I

788
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: would say I'm nine ten, like I just wanna that

789
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: is not for that, you know what I mean. But

790
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 1: but to your point with the Palestinian thing, and like

791
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 1: being like, well, I don't have the same experience what

792
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: I've found. And you know, whether I'm in a bar,

793
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 1: a shitty bar, sitting next to a guy that's a

794
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: Vietnam vet who maybe lost ten friends and might be

795
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: missing an eye, or if I'm sitting next to a

796
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 1: rich guy who They're all human at the end of

797
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 1: the day, and you don't end up like even talking

798
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 1: about those like really in depth things of like where

799
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 1: you're from, and like, no, you just bond over just

800
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: a connection something like that totally, but just like a connection,

801
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: just a human connection. They don't get the Bachelor in Palestine.

802
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: Then you talk about reruns of Garfield. Yeah that's true.

803
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: They're probably huge there. Yeah, yeah, it just came out.

804
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, I think you should

805
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: reach out to Bob. But also I always feel like, oh,

806
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 1: they're going to feel like they have to get back

807
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: to me, and so I always do the caveat of like,

808
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: you don't even have to respond this. I just want

809
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 1: to let you know I'm thinking of you. And then

810
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: like booming like releases everything. So I think you should

811
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: write him. Let's get to the news. Then it was

812
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: apparently here it comes, yo, folks, the weekend's coming up.

813
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 1: You know what that means. Grab your son tannlotion, grab

814
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 1: your alligator raft because it might be the last weekend

815
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: you could go into a pool because it's getting a

816
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 1: little chillier. Like I love you know when when fall

817
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 1: starts coming through, I go the planets still working, like

818
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,919
Speaker 1: it's a reminder that climate change hasn't completely decimated any

819
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: form of Like but I heard that climate change that

820
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: winters are going to get cold, but yeah, that's true.

821
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. Global warming is like the misnumber. Okay,

822
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: you know where it's like the it sounds it's not

823
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: what it sounds like, but it is still a thing.

824
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: And it's just because it's people go, well, I'm freezing Trump.

825
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 1: It's like but ums, by the way, yeah, I don't know.

826
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 1: The Christmas of fall coming through it there. It gives

827
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: me like a sense of peace that like, okay, climate

828
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:31,240
Speaker 1: is still kind of reliable in ways, because it's getting

829
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,919
Speaker 1: kind of unreliable. Okay, what's the first story. A man

830
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 1: allegedly defecates in a grocery store freezer, woman accidentally puts

831
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 1: hand in it while reaching for pizza rolls. Was it

832
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 1: frozen though? Oh? This just goes back to picking up

833
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 1: dog poop and whether it's hardened or soft or your

834
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 1: own dogs. I don't think it was frozen yet because

835
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 1: it was so Yeah. Yeah, they got him on videos shitty.

836
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: I mean, this guy funny. But the woman was traumatized.

837
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: She goes, I was upset, I was disgusted. I feel

838
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: like I was violated. I was almost in tears. Oh

839
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: my god, I can't believe she wasn't in tears. I

840
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: mean that said, this is a great diet program, you

841
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: know what I mean, you reach it for pizza roll

842
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's true, and you just get a fingernails,

843
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 1: so I don't eat them. I bet the nutritional you know,

844
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: contents of that ship was probably more beneficial than what

845
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 1: was in those pizza roles. I mean, that is honestly

846
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 1: so disgusting, and ship is a huge violation. It is

847
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 1: just so toxic and so Um, it's so funny that

848
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 1: we carry around something inside our bodies, each and every

849
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: one of us that is near just folds of skin

850
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 1: away from the outside world that would cause someone to

851
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: shrink in horror if they touched it or came into

852
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,760
Speaker 1: contact with it. You know, is that interesting? It's so funny.

853
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: It's like, it's just so funny. The thing computers, it's

854
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: like our trap, like, oh, you gotta take out these files.

855
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: But I know, I always say it, but poop is

856
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 1: so weird that like when you take a huge ship,

857
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,399
Speaker 1: like let's say that's one that you don't even see

858
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: coming and it just you go, oh my god. I

859
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 1: was just in Lulu Lemon with that, Like I feel

860
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: like I was smuggling, like that poop was in Lulu

861
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 1: like or something like I went on a date and

862
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: I had that poop in me. I think. I think

863
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 1: about the same thing with just organs. I feel the

864
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,280
Speaker 1: same way, Like right now we have like a liver

865
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 1: and like this just floating, like it's so crazy. It's crazy, dude,

866
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 1: It's so funny unless you're a woman wants a month

867
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: and then that blood gets away from you because it

868
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:51,240
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be near you. Edge notes, So, uh,

869
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: what was also great about it? They were driving back

870
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 1: home and she cleaned off the poop and her kids

871
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:01,400
Speaker 1: kept going, we still smell it. We still like I'm trying,

872
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,359
Speaker 1: and you know, it becomes a phantom smelling. But she's

873
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:06,919
Speaker 1: going to be haunted by that for a while because

874
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:09,720
Speaker 1: smell is a cognitive thing, as we've learned with COVID,

875
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 1: like your brain, something in the brain happens that makes

876
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 1: you lose your sense of smell. It's not directly related

877
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: to like your nose. Yeah, it's cognitive. I mean it's

878
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 1: like I do that when I first move into a

879
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: new place. A lot of there's so much anxiety when

880
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: I usually move that I can't stop smelling something that

881
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 1: makes me go, I need to leave. This is just

882
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: this place has a something dead in the walls, or

883
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 1: the person who lives here before move in there. It

884
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 1: just because I'm so anxious about living there, and I

885
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 1: so don't. I'm scared that I will invent something. It happened.

886
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: I've now recognized it because it's like it can't and

887
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 1: it then it eventually goes away, so I don't get

888
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 1: used to it. Other people can't smell it and I'm

889
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 1: not someone who's like very fine tuned to smells. Where

890
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 1: I go something smells I need to get Like I

891
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 1: have friends that are like I know, like like I

892
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 1: don't care about perfumes and stuff. I'm not that. But

893
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: there will be a stench that is so powerful that

894
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 1: um and it's connected to your brain you think you

895
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 1: don't it's connected to my dislike of the situation, and

896
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: it meant it just like I invented. It's like a

897
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 1: phantom smell. And then you're like, oh, wait, no, I

898
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: picked up dog ship with my hands, that's what it was. Yeah,

899
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 1: I mean, poor woman. It is a salt sh It

900
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: is a salt smell. Is weird like that because like

901
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: I remember, there's a place in Florida where they burned

902
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 1: sugarcane and it's like the strongest stench ever. And we

903
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: used to play football and would be the most ominous

904
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: thing ever. You get off the bus and you smell

905
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 1: it and it's like, oh my god, we're gonna get

906
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: killed out. We're in the middle of like a sugarcane field.

907
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 1: And then it would have been good had you had

908
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,359
Speaker 1: a lot of victories there. Yeah, yeah, but the team

909
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: was really good that they were scared. You like it

910
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:48,879
Speaker 1: smells wild that it can bring you back. I mean

911
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: it is. I think it's one of but it went

912
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 1: away though. What I was saying, like, in twenty minutes,

913
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 1: you don't even smell anywhere. Interesting evolution, that's um. I

914
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 1: learned that in my psychology class and at Boulder is

915
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: one of the only things I gleaned from. But it's

916
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 1: really fascinating. The reason you get used to smells is

917
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 1: because smell helps you determine if something's like bad, you

918
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: don't want to eat it, or it's a threat to

919
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 1: your survival. So if you would have a bad smell

920
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,280
Speaker 1: and you had time to go, okay, that's a bad smell.

921
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 1: I know about it. You need to be find you

922
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: need to be able to smell other smells, so your

923
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: body just becomes lets you off the hook for that.

924
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 1: And it's the same reason why if you look at

925
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 1: your eyes closely, your eyes are always moving very rapidly

926
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 1: back and forth, like they're always twitching like this, and

927
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: they're never steuady because if they are steady, which they've

928
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 1: been able to make vision steady, it completely goes blind

929
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 1: because just for the same reason, you need to know

930
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: other things that are coming in new So if something

931
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: a bird flu, you would see that. But the static

932
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: image that you're looking at, that's why your eyes are

933
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: completely always twitching, is to keep you um no, no, no, no, Actually,

934
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 1: if it's more stagnant, I would think that your eyes

935
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: would be twitching more to reorient to go. Okay, re

936
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 1: up this like, keep it going. It's really fascinating. I

937
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:06,440
Speaker 1: love that. Let's the next story. You should do one

938
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 1: of these stories as the Edge and respond to it

939
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: if you want. Yeah, is a really good one. Okay, Edge,

940
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: give us the next story. Edge. This is our new

941
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 1: character that Andrew does. Um, it's a g comedian. You're

942
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:23,760
Speaker 1: gonna like this. What's up? I am? Yeah? The articles

943
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 1: wild alright, So Hollywood enthuse attorney was arrested. Hold on,

944
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:33,320
Speaker 1: we'll go back a Hollywood enthuse. Wait, I'm sorry, Hollywood

945
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: is not supposed to be in there. I'm sorry. Halloween. Yeah,

946
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:42,839
Speaker 1: read wrote that's that private school education that I got

947
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: that I was overpaid for it. I didn't study that

948
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 1: much all right, So anyway, but that wasn't your fault?

949
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: Was it never my fault? Yeah? Okay, So what is

950
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 1: the actual headline Halloween. Halloween enthus attorney with a resident,

951
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: But I still don't know what you're saying. Halloween enthused,

952
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 1: What are you doing enthused? Like a Halloween dash Enthused

953
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 1: attorney an attorney who Halloween who's in a y with

954
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 1: hair anyhow, man, jesus, I'm just glad you acknowledge that

955
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 1: I have good hair. I didn't say it was good. Lady.

956
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 1: Stop calling me lady. I honestly would prefer that it

957
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: makes me feel younger than lady. Okay, miss Okay, So

958
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 1: Halloween enthused attorney was arrested after he took a stroll

959
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: down a beach dressed as to slasher movie villain Michael Myers,

960
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 1: complete with a fake blood covered knife. Okay. He turned

961
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 1: to his cosplay humor when herod K. Nicholas shut down.

962
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: I don't like the Edge reading. I feel like I

963
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: don't even like Andrew reading, but the Edge really suffers.

964
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,720
Speaker 1: So basically here we're losing all intonation that would clue

965
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 1: me into what the story saying. Yeah, so I'm guessing

966
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 1: a guy that's a lawyer. That's separate from the story.

967
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 1: He is a lawyer, though that's his profession. He's walking

968
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: down the beach dressed as Michael Myers with a blood

969
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: soaked knife. Why because there was a hurricane and the

970
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,280
Speaker 1: courts were closed for the day, so he just wanted

971
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 1: to entertain himself and he ended up getting arrested. Good.

972
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: Why can't a man Okay, just hear me out. I'm listening.

973
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 1: This is why California sucked. This is why everyone's moving

974
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 1: out of California where I moved to Texas. You can't

975
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 1: carry a fucking bloody knife on a beach. I mean,

976
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 1: I think it's just like it would seem like that

977
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,839
Speaker 1: guy has murdered someone and he's trying to s that's

978
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: the problem. Everyone's a fucking snowflake. You can't. I don't

979
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: want to say it. I mean I feel like you should. No,

980
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,719
Speaker 1: I'm just saying like victim blame and all this ship

981
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: like it's like oh oh oh they um. You know.

982
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 1: I don't think this has to do with like, you know,

983
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 1: people who would want to be referred to different announced

984
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: this is about referred to as Mike Myers. Well it's

985
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 1: not Halloween yet, so it's just out of context, and

986
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 1: it's just like that's just scary. You wouldn't tell me

987
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:10,879
Speaker 1: edge you wouldn't be scared. If you're on the beach

988
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 1: with your girl, taking some pictures with your girls and

989
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 1: you saw a guy. You don't think they would freak

990
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 1: out if they saw a guy dresses Michael Myers with

991
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 1: a blood soak knife coming at them, walking down the

992
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: beach having like a And I know Michael Myers does

993
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 1: enjoy long walks on the beach. He's a romantic. That's

994
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: how he gets up his strength. You don't think that.

995
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,720
Speaker 1: You don't saying instead of the street, your legs muscles

996
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 1: get stronger, You become stronger, your leg kicks are better UFC.

997
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 1: No one, Okay, I get that, not to be on

998
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: Edges team. But it was during a hurricane. There was

999
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: no one on the beach and something funny from the

1000
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 1: article was wearing a mask. He was wearing a mask

1001
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,839
Speaker 1: and someone had called the cops on him, and when

1002
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,759
Speaker 1: the cops arrived, he was trying to like keep the

1003
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 1: gimmick going until they like pulled their weapons out on him.

1004
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:04,360
Speaker 1: And he's like, Okay, I don't understand doing this for

1005
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 1: yourself though, Like this is weird. What what you definitely

1006
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 1: aren't that's kid. You're doing something kid because someone did

1007
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 1: see him enough to call the cops. Like he didn't

1008
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: go out in hurricane like uh, like you know, hurricane

1009
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 1: like five force wins whatever, Like he went out when

1010
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 1: it was like, don't go on the beach, but like

1011
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: he got seen. He knew he was gonna get seen.

1012
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 1: This guy is so oh my god. It reminds me

1013
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:33,799
Speaker 1: of a new movie though. Think about it, Halloween Hurricane

1014
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 1: Hurricane verse. You tell me to think about it before

1015
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 1: you say something. When you do that, it really works

1016
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 1: on me because because no, even if I don't think

1017
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: about it, I know that what you're about, you're telling

1018
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: me that what you're about to say requires me to

1019
00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: be smart. And I want to be smart, so I'll

1020
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 1: just think you're smart, and like I will want to

1021
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 1: prove to you I'm smart. So when you say that,

1022
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 1: it actually it's almost like a vice you've created in

1023
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 1: order to get your dumb audience to think they're smarter

1024
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 1: than they are. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

1025
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 1: Think about it. We'll be right back with sports momentum.

1026
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to it. It's Andrew's Weekly Gear's

1027
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 1: Andrew's Weekly Sports moment Oh man, it sounds like you

1028
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:27,720
Speaker 1: almost want to do it twice a week without enthusiasm. Alright,

1029
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 1: Olympic Jim This testify in front of US Senate about

1030
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 1: the pathetic lack of response to Larry Nasser's reign of terror.

1031
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: I saw this alert come up and I didn't read it,

1032
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 1: but someone Bile's name's name came up. This poor girl

1033
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 1: having these all these poor girls having to relive this

1034
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:47,239
Speaker 1: for so many years after they already have done testimony, Like, so,

1035
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:51,280
Speaker 1: what are they upset about? I mean, there were so

1036
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: many reports about this guy yea, and they starting and

1037
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: he was imprisoned in twenty seven and teen h it's

1038
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 1: this guy got away. It's so interesting to watch athlete A,

1039
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 1: that um Netflix documentary. I didn't even finish it because

1040
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 1: it was just so upsetting. But um, they the way

1041
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 1: this guy worked was that the coaches were so mean,

1042
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 1: which which I'm sorry which documentaries it's called athlete A

1043
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 1: on Netflix is about the uh, you know, gymnasts and

1044
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:24,800
Speaker 1: and and and this guy a lot of it. I

1045
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 1: don't know if it's all about him, but it's just

1046
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 1: about the abuse these women incur from their coaches. So mean,

1047
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: these coaches just cruel, make them feel fat. Make them

1048
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:37,720
Speaker 1: feel like failures, constant, constant ridicule and criticism, and honestly,

1049
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 1: this guy who would then abuse them, this doctor, was

1050
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 1: actually the only person who would be kind to them

1051
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,759
Speaker 1: around the abuse. You know, Like so a lot of

1052
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:51,319
Speaker 1: abuse victims, from what I understand, they get so confused

1053
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:55,160
Speaker 1: about the abuse because there's something comforting about it, especially

1054
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 1: when you're living in a world where you're abused so

1055
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,720
Speaker 1: egregiously and like so obviously, where you're being called fat

1056
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 1: and like yelled at. Anyone would go that's abuse. But

1057
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:07,320
Speaker 1: then this guy is nice to you and and listens

1058
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 1: to you, and and like he would be very nurturing,

1059
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,800
Speaker 1: like he was kind, like they said, he was actually kind,

1060
00:54:13,840 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 1: and he would kind of make them feel good about

1061
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:17,799
Speaker 1: the things that the coaches would yell at them about,

1062
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 1: and he would kind of make them feel like, don't

1063
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 1: listen to them, Like he would be someone that they

1064
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 1: could talk to, and they would almost look forward to

1065
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 1: these sessions. But then they were also getting fingered during

1066
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: these and violated. But they were so abused on the

1067
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: other side of it that they almost looked forward to

1068
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 1: this other type of abuse, which doesn't mean that they

1069
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: liked it or anything. And that's why these molesters are

1070
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 1: so fucking good, because they make themselves indispensable in a

1071
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: child's life and offers them because a lot of molesters

1072
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: choose victims who come from broken homes that need um

1073
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 1: comfort and a warm meal and a warm house, or

1074
00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 1: just a place to escape from the viole that they're

1075
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: dealing with every day, or the emotional abuse. And then

1076
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:06,919
Speaker 1: they get then they get abuse, and they keep coming back.

1077
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,239
Speaker 1: Not you know a lot of kids choose to go

1078
00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: back and and and and it's it's it's actually not

1079
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 1: a choice, because why wouldn't you. It's the lesser of

1080
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:20,400
Speaker 1: two evils. And it's just so disgusting and um like

1081
00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:24,280
Speaker 1: awful whatever that old tale like a wolf in sheep's clothing,

1082
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:28,399
Speaker 1: like the doctor jacket, the doctor, the feeling of like

1083
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: this is obviously a brilliant man. He's a doctor, he's

1084
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 1: wearing a coat, he has a lab results like and

1085
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: then actually your child alone with a doctor. I know

1086
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:39,879
Speaker 1: there are doctors out there, but just being the room

1087
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 1: with a doctor, like, I'm sorry. Then the other thing

1088
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 1: too is like, um, anyone's capable of this kind of ship.

1089
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 1: I do feel like I think what happens is is

1090
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 1: then they go, Okay, they complain about this doctor, and

1091
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 1: then it's like, well, if we say the doctor, it's

1092
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:57,359
Speaker 1: fucked up, that doctor was hired by me. And then

1093
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 1: that person goes, well, I'm not gonna say anything, and

1094
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 1: then the person above him it's like why I hired

1095
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 1: that person? And that's what happens with like these when

1096
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 1: because everyone's asses on the line because everyone has to

1097
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 1: go and they know, if this doctor is doing funked

1098
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:12,439
Speaker 1: up stuff, what about the fund up stuff I'm doing

1099
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 1: as the coach abusing these women. If they're gonna have

1100
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 1: a problem with this doctor um, who seems to be

1101
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,360
Speaker 1: nice by all accounts from my perspective, they have a

1102
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: problem with whatever he's doing, that nice Larry guy, Well

1103
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna come under scrutiny for how I treat

1104
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: these women. It's like and USA Gymnastics. They they're they're

1105
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: evil and they they use these women, these old pieces

1106
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 1: of ship who could never do any of the things

1107
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 1: these women could do physically, and and yelled at them

1108
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 1: and made them have a man aia where they didn't

1109
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:45,799
Speaker 1: get their periods. They made them starve, they made them,

1110
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: you know, just the abuse of these girls went through

1111
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: in order to be great and and with or without

1112
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,879
Speaker 1: their parents and even knowing what was going on and

1113
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,799
Speaker 1: the pressure. I mean, gymnasts are always perfectionists, and I

1114
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 1: really relate to that. I just wasn't good at tumbling,

1115
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: but I could have fallen into this as well. And

1116
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 1: it's like the they should be furious at us a

1117
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 1: gymnastics because Larry is his own evil, but they knew

1118
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:16,560
Speaker 1: the whole fucking behind you too, That's what they were saying,

1119
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: Like in their testimonies yesterday, they were just like, we

1120
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 1: started reporting this like almost twenty years before you guys

1121
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 1: did anything about it. It took the FBI, Like the

1122
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 1: FBI wouldn't even do follow up calls with some women.

1123
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 1: Why don't. This is why women don't report rape or

1124
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 1: don't report abuse, because no one fucking believes you, and

1125
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 1: even if they do, they don't do anything. So like

1126
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,320
Speaker 1: I actually went, I was with someone recently and she

1127
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 1: was telling me about one of her um, her friends

1128
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 1: young daughters reached out to her because she had been

1129
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 1: raped at a party by a guy that um, you

1130
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 1: know this girl, uh is a lesbian and just came

1131
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 1: out as a lesbian in high school and there was

1132
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 1: a guy at the party that was like, I'll challenge you.

1133
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,480
Speaker 1: And they were kind of like friendly and drinking and

1134
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:02,280
Speaker 1: flirting and like lightly hooking up, and then it just

1135
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 1: turned into rape. Now this girl was drinking, she also

1136
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 1: kind of like got alone with the boy. She felt

1137
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 1: responsible for putting herself in that situation where he then

1138
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 1: held her down and raped her. And this girl couldn't

1139
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:14,360
Speaker 1: go to her parents because she was too scared. She

1140
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 1: went to this person that I know. The person that

1141
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: I know said, I will do whatever you want to do,

1142
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 1: but I support either side because let me just let

1143
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 1: you know this where you come from and the school

1144
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: district you're at, and who this boy is and who

1145
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: his family is. This could ruin your life more than

1146
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 1: just keeping it secret. And you know what, as much

1147
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 1: as I wanted to say, no, that's the wrong thing

1148
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:40,760
Speaker 1: to tell this girl, have her report it. I mean,

1149
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 1: what evidence do I have that things go right? There's

1150
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:49,520
Speaker 1: it's it's it's so fucking sad for women. It just

1151
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: seems so easy. I have a friend that is one

1152
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:53,480
Speaker 1: of the most outspoken bad aspicions ever and I've told

1153
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: this before. She went to a salon got a massage

1154
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 1: at a reputable place. The guy put his finger in

1155
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 1: her asshole. And this girl is a girl that will

1156
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 1: be like get into brawls and bars with girls that

1157
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: look at her the wrong way, very confrontational, not scared

1158
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,640
Speaker 1: to speak her mind. She was frozen in fear by

1159
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 1: this thumb going in her ass um destruct didn't do

1160
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 1: anything because she didn't know what to do and then

1161
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,439
Speaker 1: didn't want to. I go, Did you call the place

1162
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 1: and report the guy? No? I don't want to see

1163
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 1: him again. If I report him, I'll have to go

1164
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 1: to court and see him. I don't want to ever associate, like,

1165
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to know about it, like, and it's

1166
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: just gonna be my word against his, because maybe he'll

1167
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,480
Speaker 1: just say that it was slipped, and I know it

1168
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 1: wasn't a slip, but it doesn't matter. It's like it

1169
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 1: proved to me that even this friend that I would

1170
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 1: think is out of all my friends, is the one

1171
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 1: that would stand up the first and foremost. She didn't,

1172
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 1: so for me to even go, you have to. I

1173
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 1: don't fucking know what I would do. And it's just

1174
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 1: it's so broken. Let's all stand up for for women.

1175
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 1: Let's get to fan Trax and meant, by the way,

1176
00:59:53,200 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 1: men can be abused as well. This is our weekly segment.

1177
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 1: Yeah that is uh um uh, thank you so much

1178
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 1: for that SoundBite. Av um. Let's get to fan Trax,

1179
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 1: which is our weekly segment where we go through the

1180
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 1: voicemails you leave us on our Instagram page. The link

1181
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 1: is in the bio to leave us a voice memo.

1182
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:27,280
Speaker 1: I know some of you are scared to do that.

1183
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 1: You can always erase it or at the end of it,

1184
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 1: if you're like, oh, I don't like this, you can

1185
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 1: just say don't don't use this one and we'll we'll

1186
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 1: abide by that, and you can send us a d

1187
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 1: M also to be like I said something and I

1188
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 1: don't want to like, you're safe, So just take a

1189
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 1: chance and leave us a voice memo and we won't

1190
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 1: make fun of you ever on them, or at least

1191
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 1: we'll try not to. Let's get to them. Okay, here's

1192
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 1: a voicemail from Ali and Nat. Hey, Nikki, we're two

1193
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 1: best He's living in Central Weston and St. Louis and

1194
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 1: we listen to your podcast and we're going to your

1195
01:00:57,080 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 1: show next weekend and we're so excited about it. And

1196
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 1: we just had a question about dating for you. So

1197
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 1: we always listen to your podcasts and get a lot

1198
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: of our dating advice and what we give to other

1199
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 1: people from your podcast. We always recommend it to UM. Basically,

1200
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:14,200
Speaker 1: our biggest problem is we put guys that we like

1201
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 1: or go on a date with on a pedestal. We

1202
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 1: have a lot of guy friends that we have no

1203
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 1: issue just being like our normal selves, not caring about them,

1204
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,959
Speaker 1: and then they end up developing feelings for us, which

1205
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,439
Speaker 1: is I mean, it's just not who we want to date.

1206
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:29,560
Speaker 1: But the guys that we do want a date will

1207
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,360
Speaker 1: go on like three dates and then we're trying to

1208
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 1: come up with wedding hashtags with our friends and when

1209
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:39,480
Speaker 1: we're gonna direct time to move in with them and everything,

1210
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 1: and we need to get out of our least early

1211
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 1: to move in with them when they're when they buy

1212
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:47,480
Speaker 1: the UM. So basically we just need to figure out

1213
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:51,240
Speaker 1: how to not do that. UM. It's not really working

1214
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:53,840
Speaker 1: out in our favor. So do you have any advice

1215
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 1: that would be great. We're so excited to go to

1216
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 1: your show and thank you so one from making this podcast.

1217
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 1: Thank you all and Nat, I want your podcasts. You

1218
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 1: sound so fun. Please say hey if you ever see

1219
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 1: me walking around the cub. Okay, what I would recommend

1220
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:14,840
Speaker 1: is date a lot of people because it will be

1221
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 1: a way to like you know, the way to get

1222
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 1: guys to like you is to act like you don't

1223
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 1: give a ship it. It just is like to act

1224
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:26,400
Speaker 1: like you've got You're happy, you're you don't need them,

1225
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 1: you got ship going on, you're busy. And if you

1226
01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:32,320
Speaker 1: date multiple people at the same time, you will never

1227
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 1: put all your eggs in one basket and the and

1228
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:38,440
Speaker 1: it will be Uh. It's an easier way to give

1229
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 1: the impression that you don't care about a guy, even

1230
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 1: if you really like one guy more than the other.

1231
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:47,360
Speaker 1: Just keep it keep a castor white net, which I don't.

1232
01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: I know it's very hard to do that, but just

1233
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 1: like keep swiping, keep opening yourself up to others. Also

1234
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 1: read getting to I do just read getting too. I do.

1235
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 1: I know you guys are young. You sound very young.

1236
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 1: I would just um, I would do that and also

1237
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:05,280
Speaker 1: um just but noah, do you have any other advice

1238
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,960
Speaker 1: for them? But I feel like that's that's the reason

1239
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:10,720
Speaker 1: she says to duty date, which is like just don't

1240
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 1: don't date for marriage, like just date a bunch of

1241
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:16,760
Speaker 1: different people, because when you when you are busy and

1242
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:19,440
Speaker 1: keep your like when you have other dates and like

1243
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:23,800
Speaker 1: things going on, um, the guy, it'll it's just an

1244
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 1: easy way to play hard to get without actually having

1245
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 1: to like pretend that you're busy when you're not, because

1246
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:32,680
Speaker 1: you will be busy, right exactly. I think, um, continuing

1247
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:36,200
Speaker 1: dating is a very good advice. And also Pat Allen

1248
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:39,320
Speaker 1: from the book, she says, um, when a guy is

1249
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:43,040
Speaker 1: with you, he's not really present because he's just like

1250
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 1: thinking about your body. He has his like sexual desires

1251
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:49,040
Speaker 1: and everything. But it's when he's alone that that's when

1252
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 1: he really starts to think about like your compatibility and

1253
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,520
Speaker 1: all of that. And she said it takes guys a

1254
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:59,480
Speaker 1: month to be distracted, and then it could take them

1255
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 1: up to two two months, eight weeks to figure out like, hey,

1256
01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 1: I really like this girl, I'm going to call her back.

1257
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 1: And at that point women are just like who are you?

1258
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 1: Guys are like women are so insensitive. Son fall in

1259
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:17,080
Speaker 1: love in the absence, women fall in love when you're

1260
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 1: with them, and like that is I mean, I've heard

1261
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:23,000
Speaker 1: that a million times, but I am totally feeling like

1262
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 1: I promise you Nat and Ali that that is true.

1263
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 1: In my experience, I've seen it recently, like I will

1264
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 1: be with someone and I'll be like, I don't even

1265
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:33,520
Speaker 1: think he likes me, and then I will not I

1266
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,520
Speaker 1: will just go away and not right back, not like

1267
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:39,320
Speaker 1: follow up with a text anything, and there will be

1268
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:42,919
Speaker 1: something that there. I can feel their affection grow from

1269
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:46,040
Speaker 1: me from from a distance. It's it just there. They

1270
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 1: need to download what they experienced. They're not present when

1271
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 1: they're with you. So my best advice is, do all

1272
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:54,080
Speaker 1: the things you want to do. Hashtag, write your name

1273
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 1: with his last name, figure out how you're gonna hyphenate

1274
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 1: it when you have kids, all those things. Do not

1275
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:03,280
Speaker 1: text them ever, and if you want to draft texts,

1276
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:06,520
Speaker 1: but don't ever convince yourself you should reach out to them.

1277
01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:10,400
Speaker 1: It's not to play games. It's because it's just it's

1278
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:13,600
Speaker 1: gonna it's gonna serve you best to like you don't

1279
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:16,440
Speaker 1: feel like that. Sometimes it's like if you have to

1280
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,080
Speaker 1: do all these things, then that's not the right person.

1281
01:05:19,160 --> 01:05:21,880
Speaker 1: Like I I feel like they're like, well, after three

1282
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:28,040
Speaker 1: days I use them on you. I'm sorry she used

1283
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:32,640
Speaker 1: these but let's hear my question though, Like if there's

1284
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:35,880
Speaker 1: I get what you're saying, but I do think that

1285
01:05:35,920 --> 01:05:38,880
Speaker 1: there's guys out there where if after three days they

1286
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:41,840
Speaker 1: want to marry this person, well, why why are you

1287
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:44,440
Speaker 1: feeling this way? Because the guy is probably not giving

1288
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 1: making making you the number one right away. That's why

1289
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying, work on those things, like why are like

1290
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: you let yourself do that? But no that that's insane. Yes, yeah,

1291
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 1: but yeah, I'm just saying that, like if if it

1292
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 1: takes ten things to make this person and be the

1293
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:03,919
Speaker 1: person you think, I just start to wonder, Okay, maybe

1294
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 1: there's someone out there where it's maybe three things, you

1295
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 1: know what I mean. That's all I'm saying. That's a

1296
01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:09,840
Speaker 1: good point, That's all I'm saying. I'm I'm just saying, like,

1297
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:13,000
Speaker 1: stop picking people that I don't want to be changed,

1298
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 1: because you're not going to change them. And even if

1299
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:18,280
Speaker 1: you do, then you're gonna then you're gonna just like

1300
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:22,360
Speaker 1: make an asshole somewhat cool for a little while, you know,

1301
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:26,800
Speaker 1: not sleep with them. Ali and Nette do not have

1302
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:30,640
Speaker 1: sex with these men. I know, for how many days

1303
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 1: until you get what you until you either decide that

1304
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:35,840
Speaker 1: you don't want a commitment, and you truly don't want

1305
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 1: this person to be your boyfriend. But if there is

1306
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,200
Speaker 1: any inkling that you would like a long term relationship

1307
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:44,040
Speaker 1: with this person, do not do not do is do

1308
01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:46,720
Speaker 1: not let them in your vagina number one. And if

1309
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:50,160
Speaker 1: you can not your mouth either, that one's harder. But

1310
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 1: I would recommend getting um the thing that I bought

1311
01:06:54,520 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 1: where is it this little sleeve and jerk him off

1312
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:01,600
Speaker 1: with this thing a lot of loup. Keep it in

1313
01:07:01,640 --> 01:07:04,520
Speaker 1: your little purse and jerk them off. But don't do

1314
01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:06,720
Speaker 1: not fund them, no matter how much they tell you

1315
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:09,080
Speaker 1: they want you to. I swear to God, they might

1316
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:12,080
Speaker 1: be frustrated and be like mad and like you might

1317
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:14,280
Speaker 1: part in like a bad way. But say you know

1318
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:17,680
Speaker 1: what I bond emotionally? You can explain it. Because people

1319
01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:19,360
Speaker 1: always go, how am I gonna tell a guy this?

1320
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:22,720
Speaker 1: I know that when I have sex, I bond emotionally

1321
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:24,480
Speaker 1: in a way that I'm not ready to bond with

1322
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,320
Speaker 1: you yet, because I don't trust you that a guy

1323
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:31,600
Speaker 1: loves a woman with boundaries and who like they know?

1324
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 1: Because let me reiterate this, men know men, and if

1325
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 1: men get you to sleep with them, too soon, which

1326
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 1: is before commitment. They will not trust you because they

1327
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:45,480
Speaker 1: know that you are easily manipulated. Even if you're not,

1328
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:49,160
Speaker 1: they will think that you are gonna be um like

1329
01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:52,520
Speaker 1: right for the pickens, and they'll they won't. They won't

1330
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 1: trust you, and they'll have hang up about it. So

1331
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:57,760
Speaker 1: prove to them. You have to like trick them into

1332
01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:01,240
Speaker 1: them thinking that you won't get banged by a bunch

1333
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:03,120
Speaker 1: of guys because they all just think that every man

1334
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 1: can trick you and fuck you because there are men,

1335
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,479
Speaker 1: and that's like what they think men do. But you

1336
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 1: just I know you want to have sex with them.

1337
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:14,600
Speaker 1: I know you want to blow them. Less is more

1338
01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:17,080
Speaker 1: And it took me thirty seven years to learn this.

1339
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:18,960
Speaker 1: Don't give them what they want, let them finger you,

1340
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 1: let them go down on you, whatever, but do not

1341
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:23,400
Speaker 1: do anything to them. And I swear to God, they

1342
01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: will like you more than you think they're gonna like you.

1343
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:29,680
Speaker 1: You thought about this when you were three, That's like,

1344
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:32,559
Speaker 1: that's why my last favorite thing is when people are

1345
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:36,240
Speaker 1: like I waited thirty eight years to find the love

1346
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:37,400
Speaker 1: of my life, and I'm like, you were like a

1347
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:43,320
Speaker 1: toddler being like, where's my wife? My wife, I'm not

1348
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 1: going to affect hilarious. Okay, we have time for one more.

1349
01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 1: Um no, no, let's just move along to the next one.

1350
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:52,519
Speaker 1: They're so there's so many good voicemails. So this is

1351
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:58,880
Speaker 1: from um Melissa, Hi best, It's Melissa Love the podcast.

1352
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:03,000
Speaker 1: You guys know that I just want to tell everyone

1353
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:06,920
Speaker 1: everything that I learned on this podcast. And I am

1354
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:09,439
Speaker 1: also very self aware of the fact that it's annoying

1355
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:11,680
Speaker 1: to constantly be saying, oh my god, I learned this

1356
01:09:11,720 --> 01:09:15,000
Speaker 1: on a podcast. So I started just saying that my

1357
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:18,040
Speaker 1: friend Nicky or my friend Andrew, my friend Noah told

1358
01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:22,599
Speaker 1: me whatever the fact is, and most people just kind

1359
01:09:22,600 --> 01:09:25,439
Speaker 1: of go with it. And only my boyfriend has questioned,

1360
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 1: who the fuck is this friend Noah. I've literally never

1361
01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:30,720
Speaker 1: heard you be friends with anyone named Noah. I had

1362
01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 1: to tell him that Nikki was a nickick Lazer and

1363
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:34,400
Speaker 1: then he said, are you really friends with her? And

1364
01:09:34,439 --> 01:09:37,679
Speaker 1: I said yes, So there's that. And I also wanted

1365
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:40,400
Speaker 1: to let you guys know that after all your recommendations,

1366
01:09:40,439 --> 01:09:43,240
Speaker 1: I got getting so I do, and I read it

1367
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:47,800
Speaker 1: and I I read it too late because the day

1368
01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:49,840
Speaker 1: before I read it, I asked my boyfriend if you

1369
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 1: wanted to hand job, because I was going to do

1370
01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 1: that extra loob trick that Nikki talked about, and then

1371
01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:57,200
Speaker 1: I he was like, no, I'm tired. And then I

1372
01:09:57,240 --> 01:09:59,760
Speaker 1: found out that since I'm feminine energy, I shouldn't be

1373
01:09:59,800 --> 01:10:01,559
Speaker 1: asked to him, but if I can give a hand jobs,

1374
01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:03,120
Speaker 1: I should be waiting for him to ask for hand

1375
01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 1: jobs or whatever. Basically, I wanted to know if you

1376
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:09,400
Speaker 1: guys have tips about how do you take the learnings

1377
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:12,479
Speaker 1: from that book and add them into a seven year

1378
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:15,760
Speaker 1: long relationship when it's kind of too late for some

1379
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:19,599
Speaker 1: of it. Would love any tips, love the pod, Love

1380
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:23,920
Speaker 1: you guys, Love you. Okay, here's what I would say.

1381
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:27,040
Speaker 1: You could have said, you know what, I really would

1382
01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 1: love to try to give you a hand job with

1383
01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:34,479
Speaker 1: a technique I heard about. I would love phrase everything

1384
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:38,200
Speaker 1: from what you want and like what you like with

1385
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:41,720
Speaker 1: your feelings. I feel compelled to give you a hand

1386
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 1: job right now, like start everything with I feel. Um. Also,

1387
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:47,840
Speaker 1: I think from what I've learned from people in relationships

1388
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:50,120
Speaker 1: that read the book and how it applies to already

1389
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:53,400
Speaker 1: in a relationship. UM, you know when a conflict comes up,

1390
01:10:53,439 --> 01:10:56,960
Speaker 1: if you're the feminine energy. Say hey, I've been feeling

1391
01:10:57,240 --> 01:11:01,360
Speaker 1: um confused and uh a little sad about something and

1392
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:04,280
Speaker 1: I would love to talk to you about it. Um,

1393
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:06,559
Speaker 1: let me know what is a good time for you,

1394
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:10,200
Speaker 1: And then they get to then schedule a time that

1395
01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:12,360
Speaker 1: works for them so that when and maybe it might

1396
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:14,960
Speaker 1: be then, but at least they've are It's almost like

1397
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:18,720
Speaker 1: it's their idea. No, is that correct? Um? Yeah, interpretation,

1398
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:21,880
Speaker 1: you could absolutely still use the book to help your

1399
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:26,080
Speaker 1: communication and maybe just like to have like your relationship

1400
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:29,920
Speaker 1: take on a new life. What however, you can you

1401
01:11:29,920 --> 01:11:31,960
Speaker 1: give me an example of something maybe you've done in

1402
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:36,160
Speaker 1: your relationship that is different because you you read the

1403
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:38,360
Speaker 1: book before you're in a relationship, but like maybe things

1404
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:40,120
Speaker 1: that because you still go back to the book and

1405
01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:43,040
Speaker 1: like ry up. Even this morning I went back to

1406
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:44,800
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, yeah, I have to be

1407
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:47,920
Speaker 1: I have to stop like injecting my opinion and how

1408
01:11:48,080 --> 01:11:51,439
Speaker 1: AV handles certain things, or like if I feel like

1409
01:11:51,479 --> 01:11:53,439
Speaker 1: he can take a short cut that I know about

1410
01:11:53,520 --> 01:11:56,320
Speaker 1: when he's driving, to just keep my mouth shut. Oh

1411
01:11:56,320 --> 01:11:57,800
Speaker 1: so you just keep it shut. You don't go like

1412
01:11:57,920 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 1: I feel like the ramp year will be a quicker

1413
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:05,400
Speaker 1: way you don't say that, you just go the longer way. Well,

1414
01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:09,439
Speaker 1: I have been, uh like, I have been more in

1415
01:12:09,479 --> 01:12:11,559
Speaker 1: my masculine energy because I'm like, why don't you take

1416
01:12:11,640 --> 01:12:15,160
Speaker 1: the shortcut? Don't you know about this road? Is there

1417
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:16,920
Speaker 1: a way to take the shortcut and to suggest a

1418
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:19,240
Speaker 1: shortcut in a feminine energy? I would love to know that?

1419
01:12:19,439 --> 01:12:21,240
Speaker 1: Or do you just because there's so many times where

1420
01:12:21,280 --> 01:12:23,200
Speaker 1: I see a guy doing something on a computer or

1421
01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:26,519
Speaker 1: like or like dealing with electronics, and I'm like, God,

1422
01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:29,120
Speaker 1: I know how to do this. It's just this. Hey,

1423
01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:30,960
Speaker 1: I know a better way. Do you want me to

1424
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:35,080
Speaker 1: tell you about it? Do you want to hear it?

1425
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:37,680
Speaker 1: Or hey, I know another way? Not a better way.

1426
01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:39,320
Speaker 1: I know what I know, so you can speak from

1427
01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 1: I know. I feel like I might know a better way.

1428
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 1: Would you like me to say what that is? For

1429
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:50,840
Speaker 1: permission to say an opinion? Does that work? Do you

1430
01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:55,400
Speaker 1: think that would work? Yeah? I think I know. I

1431
01:12:55,439 --> 01:12:58,479
Speaker 1: feel as if I feel like I have a way

1432
01:12:58,520 --> 01:13:00,639
Speaker 1: for you to take that pizza oven that help. Would

1433
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:02,519
Speaker 1: you like to hear it? Yeah? I mean, I think

1434
01:13:02,520 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 1: there's just a way of saying something to someone that

1435
01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:07,599
Speaker 1: just it doesn't come off as a demand that's right.

1436
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:11,040
Speaker 1: So it's like if you know a better way, be like, hey,

1437
01:13:11,160 --> 01:13:14,240
Speaker 1: um I might Hey this way might be faster. Should

1438
01:13:14,240 --> 01:13:16,080
Speaker 1: we try it? Or you want to try it something

1439
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:20,240
Speaker 1: like yeah, And the tone of it is to the thing.

1440
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:23,799
Speaker 1: But then, like what we were saying though before about

1441
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:27,439
Speaker 1: another situation that we were in, like do you have

1442
01:13:27,520 --> 01:13:30,720
Speaker 1: to baby the person as well? So there's like are

1443
01:13:30,760 --> 01:13:33,880
Speaker 1: you just sensitive to my tone? Not saying av I'm

1444
01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:38,120
Speaker 1: just saying like like are these is this man perceived

1445
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:39,960
Speaker 1: as a man like you gotta be a man? You

1446
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,400
Speaker 1: can't be like why do you have to talk to you?

1447
01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:44,640
Speaker 1: Like why do I have to be nice to you

1448
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:46,400
Speaker 1: when I tell you something? Why can't you just handle

1449
01:13:46,439 --> 01:13:49,120
Speaker 1: it like a man? You know, there's that pressure. So

1450
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:52,439
Speaker 1: I think it's just like my point is like is

1451
01:13:52,439 --> 01:13:54,400
Speaker 1: it the is it the person you're talking to? I'm

1452
01:13:54,400 --> 01:13:55,840
Speaker 1: sure it could be a mixture. Like I think what

1453
01:13:55,960 --> 01:13:59,800
Speaker 1: we learned with the pizza gate is that, like like

1454
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:02,600
Speaker 1: pizza game, like, there could be a critical nous on

1455
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:04,479
Speaker 1: your side and then there could be a sensitivity on

1456
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:06,880
Speaker 1: my side. And I think there's need to work on

1457
01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:09,760
Speaker 1: each of those things. Yeah, I think you're right. I

1458
01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:13,439
Speaker 1: think it's um, I think that's yeah. Final thought, I

1459
01:14:13,479 --> 01:14:16,400
Speaker 1: think that there are these tricks that you learn in

1460
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:20,360
Speaker 1: this book getting to I do, but that um, they're

1461
01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:23,400
Speaker 1: not They're actually getting what you want to do, because

1462
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:25,680
Speaker 1: I think so. The first thought what I learned in

1463
01:14:25,680 --> 01:14:28,080
Speaker 1: like twelve steps stuff is like your first thought is

1464
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:30,160
Speaker 1: usually the A lot of people go go with your

1465
01:14:30,160 --> 01:14:32,439
Speaker 1: gut whatever your first thought is, I don't. I think

1466
01:14:32,479 --> 01:14:34,679
Speaker 1: that's actually like bad advice. I think the first thought

1467
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:38,360
Speaker 1: is generally like your body reacting, your fight or flight response,

1468
01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:42,160
Speaker 1: which can really get you into some trouble, eempered by

1469
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:44,479
Speaker 1: either a pause and thinking of how would I like

1470
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:46,559
Speaker 1: to present this information? How would I like to receive

1471
01:14:46,600 --> 01:14:50,640
Speaker 1: this information, but also considering that maybe don't phrase it

1472
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:52,400
Speaker 1: the way you would like to hear it, because you're

1473
01:14:52,439 --> 01:14:55,679
Speaker 1: not them. So have empathy for like a man wants

1474
01:14:55,720 --> 01:14:58,360
Speaker 1: to be respected in a relationship, you want your feelings

1475
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:00,920
Speaker 1: to be chaired. So think of, maybe how could I

1476
01:15:00,920 --> 01:15:04,720
Speaker 1: put this in a way that will maintain the end

1477
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:09,240
Speaker 1: and reiterate that I respect him over and that that

1478
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:12,360
Speaker 1: I that I respect him, which you know is I

1479
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:15,880
Speaker 1: know this shorter way. Okay. My My impulse is to go, well,

1480
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:17,640
Speaker 1: you always go this way? Will you go that way?

1481
01:15:17,680 --> 01:15:19,599
Speaker 1: Because it is shorter? And I don't even understand why

1482
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:21,519
Speaker 1: you always go that way. It's like you choose to

1483
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:24,719
Speaker 1: be late for things. That's how I want to say it, right, pause,

1484
01:15:26,040 --> 01:15:30,719
Speaker 1: so pause and go I know, so pause and go. Okay,

1485
01:15:30,800 --> 01:15:32,800
Speaker 1: So I want him to take this way. It's coming

1486
01:15:32,880 --> 01:15:37,760
Speaker 1: up ship okay, um uh, you know, I don't even

1487
01:15:37,760 --> 01:15:40,000
Speaker 1: know if it will work, but I think there might

1488
01:15:40,040 --> 01:15:43,800
Speaker 1: be a shorter way. You want to try that? No think, oh,

1489
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:47,040
Speaker 1: so I I I might know of a shorter way.

1490
01:15:48,560 --> 01:15:51,320
Speaker 1: Would you want to try it? If I can figure

1491
01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:54,040
Speaker 1: if I can come up with what that is, would

1492
01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:55,720
Speaker 1: you want to try? And I almost feel like the

1493
01:15:55,800 --> 01:15:59,720
Speaker 1: first thing, although it was how like I almost feel

1494
01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:01,840
Speaker 1: like you almost say it exactly how you want to

1495
01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:04,960
Speaker 1: say it. It's just how you say you know what

1496
01:16:04,960 --> 01:16:06,800
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, Yeah, it's like a disgust that I have.

1497
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:10,839
Speaker 1: It's a disgust because I do have disgusted. Yes, it's honest,

1498
01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:14,400
Speaker 1: like it's like it's disgusted like why do you why

1499
01:16:14,439 --> 01:16:16,120
Speaker 1: do you have to be such a stubborn man that

1500
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:17,679
Speaker 1: you have to do it your way? Like I get

1501
01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:19,719
Speaker 1: mad that I have to be a quaint little woman

1502
01:16:19,760 --> 01:16:22,000
Speaker 1: in the passenger seat and be like, I know I'm

1503
01:16:22,040 --> 01:16:24,559
Speaker 1: a faster driver. We could get there sooner, Like I

1504
01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:27,640
Speaker 1: get I get so angry about like the fact that

1505
01:16:27,680 --> 01:16:29,680
Speaker 1: I'm a woman, and that means that I have to

1506
01:16:29,720 --> 01:16:33,559
Speaker 1: like abide by this man's feelings and make him feel

1507
01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:36,880
Speaker 1: like he drives the right way. And then I start

1508
01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:39,479
Speaker 1: having the self hatred that I have for myself. And

1509
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:43,320
Speaker 1: then I projected yes, but then you don't. Yeah, yeah,

1510
01:16:43,400 --> 01:16:46,400
Speaker 1: go ahead, Sorry. I get mad more about like how

1511
01:16:46,439 --> 01:16:48,639
Speaker 1: come I take the time to figure out, like where

1512
01:16:48,680 --> 01:16:51,760
Speaker 1: all the lights turn green in a certain sequence where

1513
01:16:51,760 --> 01:16:54,040
Speaker 1: I can save an extra five minutes and he doesn't

1514
01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:56,880
Speaker 1: care about that. I get so mad about that too,

1515
01:16:56,920 --> 01:16:59,559
Speaker 1: of like why But but then if he doesn't care,

1516
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:03,360
Speaker 1: then like don't you understand like the fact that he'll

1517
01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:05,559
Speaker 1: get just as mad that you do care so much?

1518
01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:08,800
Speaker 1: So why is he not entitled to care about that?

1519
01:17:08,840 --> 01:17:10,880
Speaker 1: If you're entitled to care about it? Because the thing

1520
01:17:10,920 --> 01:17:13,200
Speaker 1: that I care about makes us so we're not late

1521
01:17:13,240 --> 01:17:15,559
Speaker 1: to the airport, and the thing that you care about

1522
01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:18,080
Speaker 1: or don't care about makes us late to the airport.

1523
01:17:18,400 --> 01:17:20,800
Speaker 1: But if we left earlier and we never would have

1524
01:17:20,800 --> 01:17:22,960
Speaker 1: been relieve earlier, we don't get to sleep in, and

1525
01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:26,600
Speaker 1: sleep is valuable. I could keep going earlier. If I

1526
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:28,559
Speaker 1: go to bed earlier, I don't get to finish the

1527
01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:30,479
Speaker 1: episode of White Lotus that I wanted to watch. Well,

1528
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:33,040
Speaker 1: you start watching it earlier. Well, if I watch it earlier,

1529
01:17:33,080 --> 01:17:34,600
Speaker 1: then I don't get to go for the run. But

1530
01:17:34,680 --> 01:17:36,640
Speaker 1: I want to get like, you know, I like to

1531
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:39,360
Speaker 1: live my life efficiently with time. And I feel like

1532
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:41,599
Speaker 1: a lot of things that men do are just like

1533
01:17:41,880 --> 01:17:45,840
Speaker 1: they don't see the layers beneath and the planning. It's

1534
01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:48,400
Speaker 1: the classic grocery store example, Andrew, do anything from the

1535
01:17:48,439 --> 01:17:51,400
Speaker 1: grocery store. No, I'm not hungry. Well, there's going to

1536
01:17:51,439 --> 01:17:53,479
Speaker 1: be a future in which you will be hungry. Can

1537
01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:56,559
Speaker 1: we plan for that? No, I'm good now. I know

1538
01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:59,280
Speaker 1: you're full right now. But can you imagine a world

1539
01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:01,960
Speaker 1: where you might be hungry down the line? Yes, but

1540
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:05,439
Speaker 1: a million times over. I say, I've lived forty one year,

1541
01:18:05,520 --> 01:18:09,720
Speaker 1: not forty one years on my own where I was

1542
01:18:09,800 --> 01:18:13,559
Speaker 1: able to eat, and I'm still sitting here today. So

1543
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:15,559
Speaker 1: then that means that you get to hang out with

1544
01:18:15,600 --> 01:18:17,280
Speaker 1: me and we get to have a good conversation and

1545
01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:19,519
Speaker 1: enjoy a show together as opposed to you having to

1546
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:22,320
Speaker 1: go to the grocery store while I have to wait

1547
01:18:22,360 --> 01:18:24,000
Speaker 1: to watch a thing that we could watch together. How

1548
01:18:24,040 --> 01:18:26,200
Speaker 1: many times that happen. But it's just like, you know,

1549
01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:28,280
Speaker 1: if we're on the same schedule, and like I know,

1550
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:29,879
Speaker 1: but we're not going to be on the same schedule.

1551
01:18:30,160 --> 01:18:33,120
Speaker 1: Like but getting grabbing you a pizza from the store

1552
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:35,160
Speaker 1: would save you a trip to the store. And I

1553
01:18:35,160 --> 01:18:36,760
Speaker 1: don't understand why you would want to do that, but

1554
01:18:36,880 --> 01:18:38,880
Speaker 1: my point is, like I'd rather not grab the pizza

1555
01:18:38,920 --> 01:18:42,759
Speaker 1: if it's going to even be on your brain ever later,

1556
01:18:42,960 --> 01:18:46,519
Speaker 1: Like I'd rather just like I'll get the pizza, just

1557
01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:49,400
Speaker 1: I promise I'll be okay and I'll eat yeah, and

1558
01:18:49,439 --> 01:18:51,840
Speaker 1: I'll be there. I guess it's about me wanting to

1559
01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:54,120
Speaker 1: have you available to hang out later and like be

1560
01:18:54,479 --> 01:18:55,960
Speaker 1: and not have to go to the store and make

1561
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:59,160
Speaker 1: two trips. And I know, but I'll be I promise,

1562
01:18:59,280 --> 01:19:01,360
Speaker 1: Like no, I have to could I get you pizza? Still?

1563
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:03,000
Speaker 1: Because I just know that, Like I don't even have

1564
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:05,200
Speaker 1: to ask, like I just know what you need. But

1565
01:19:05,640 --> 01:19:09,400
Speaker 1: I was like, what would nick you want? You know

1566
01:19:09,479 --> 01:19:12,639
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like I think about what what what

1567
01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:15,439
Speaker 1: you would like as well, But like I don't know,

1568
01:19:15,479 --> 01:19:17,160
Speaker 1: Like I just like I don't want you to hold

1569
01:19:17,200 --> 01:19:20,639
Speaker 1: like like yeah, if it turns into resentments, that's different,

1570
01:19:20,680 --> 01:19:23,599
Speaker 1: But like I don't you both read the book this weekend?

1571
01:19:24,280 --> 01:19:32,760
Speaker 1: Which one getting to rent is do getting to Venmomi later?

1572
01:19:33,320 --> 01:19:35,519
Speaker 1: Um no, yeah, I think that's we there should be

1573
01:19:35,560 --> 01:19:37,240
Speaker 1: getting do I do? For friendship? But I think these

1574
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:38,960
Speaker 1: are all rules that we can work into our lives.

1575
01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:41,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your fan thraxes. Keep leaving

1576
01:19:41,240 --> 01:19:43,960
Speaker 1: us voice memos, keep listening to the show, spread the word.

1577
01:19:44,160 --> 01:19:46,439
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Melissa, Kat and Ali, thank you

1578
01:19:46,479 --> 01:19:48,599
Speaker 1: know uh, thank you to all our busties. We will

1579
01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:51,320
Speaker 1: see you in Vegas, Seattle, and Oregan this week. Negis

1580
01:19:51,439 --> 01:19:53,400
Speaker 1: dot com for tour dates and tickets. Don't be cut

1581
01:19:53,439 --> 01:19:57,040
Speaker 1: out there and do I do