Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janvick, Taylor and Michael Cousin and I'm
Speaker 1: on radio podcast.
Speaker 2: Happy Monday.
Speaker 3: Bo. Yeah, so I learned something new about Mike and
Speaker 3: sure we were on We were in New York last
Speaker 3: week and Mike leaned over to me and he goes,
Speaker 3: are you guys.
Speaker 4: There, Mark, Yes, yes, we're here, of course.
Speaker 3: Are you ready for this? So he leans over and
Speaker 3: he's just like, you know what just drives me crazy?
Speaker 2: And I was like, what, what was it? I don't
Speaker 2: remember the Southwest? Oh yeah, I don't know why. It's
Speaker 2: just when people that are maybe not foreign and live
Speaker 2: in America and get onto a Southwest airplane or are
Speaker 2: boarding a Southwest airplane and they ask a million questions
Speaker 2: because they don't understand how to.
Speaker 1: A situation on Southwest? What's that because you don't have
Speaker 1: an assigned seat? Is that the issue?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and people it just blows people's minds. I'm a
Speaker 2: granted we travel so much, I mean, but it made
Speaker 2: me think. I'm like, when when was the first time
Speaker 2: I took a Southwest flight? Like my first experience? I
Speaker 2: don't remember.
Speaker 3: I think I was super young when I took my
Speaker 3: first one.
Speaker 2: But how long has Southwest been doing that.
Speaker 3: That's actually a really good question. I don't know. I'm
Speaker 3: going to look that up. How long is Southwest? Mark?
Speaker 3: You gotta you gotta see how long I can take
Speaker 3: care of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But you know a great thing about Southwest if
Speaker 1: I may, because I know some people are a little
Speaker 1: bit honked off yourself, like, yeah, they don't charge bag.
Speaker 3: Fees, yeah, and for change fees for Southwest.
Speaker 4: I understand it.
Speaker 1: But I'm baffled by that because at this point, if
Speaker 1: they didn't know, what would get mad at them.
Speaker 4: But they don't, and I love that.
Speaker 1: You'll see they opened in nineteen seventy one, But when
Speaker 1: did they start doing the seat yourself thing?
Speaker 3: I think it's always been seeing yourself? Maybe really I
Speaker 3: don't I think so, but I mean, obviously I don't
Speaker 3: remember remember. But it's funny though, because Mike said that
Speaker 3: if it was an American he gets angry at But
Speaker 3: then he said that he saw these like two Chinese
Speaker 3: people not knowing where to sit, and he's like, oh, well.
Speaker 2: Just someone who's foreign who doesn't maybe isn't from America
Speaker 2: and it's new to them. I empathize with that, but
Speaker 2: someone who I guess and it's just wrong for me
Speaker 2: to assume that everybody flies all the time and should
Speaker 2: understand it. It's not just asking one question. It's just
Speaker 2: I experienced these these group are like three people the
Speaker 2: other day when we're flying back from New York that
Speaker 2: just asks like ten questions and just couldn't wrap their
Speaker 2: heads around it. And I just wanted to be like,
Speaker 2: just get on the plane, set where you want. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what questions two through ten would be,
Speaker 1: because the first question would be so I can sit
Speaker 1: wherever I want?
Speaker 3: Yes, right, It's just funny what you get because like
Speaker 3: you can be very it's just funny what you get
Speaker 3: upset about. Like I think stupid people that are stupid
Speaker 3: you don't like, Like I think stupidity really bothers you,
Speaker 3: because I know you get a little bit more annoyed
Speaker 3: with me when I say things that are wrong or
Speaker 3: I say the wrong grammar, and so I think you
Speaker 3: it's just it's just funny because I think I think
Speaker 3: it's just stupid people you don't like. But then who
Speaker 3: on the flip side, though, you'll do some stupid things
Speaker 3: and never but it's like you don't see that. But
Speaker 3: it's like you know what I mean, it's just about
Speaker 3: seeing other people.
Speaker 2: It's all about my perspective. How is it view the world?
Speaker 2: If you don't view it my way, then it's oh,
Speaker 2: I'm kidding now, it's just one of those things.
Speaker 3: I have an interesting topic. Well, I don't even know
Speaker 3: if actually I can talk about it. Why if you knew, Well,
Speaker 3: because I don't know who listens to the podcast, Like
Speaker 3: if it was someone that listens, and I don't want
Speaker 3: to be offensive.
Speaker 4: I think you have to go for it now. Now, yeah,
Speaker 4: just genericize it.
Speaker 3: Okay. Let's say there's someone in the neighborhood that has
Speaker 3: a problem child and they were kind of known from
Speaker 3: the last neighborhood for example, like lighting things on fire,
Speaker 3: vandalizing I mean to the point of like really gross
Speaker 3: stuff that would you know it is throwing rocks and
Speaker 3: then also I mean bullying kids, inappropriately touching younger children.
Speaker 3: And then you find out they moved to your neighborhood.
Speaker 3: What do you think, Because Michael and I've had this
Speaker 3: conversation now because now we're on more of a high alert.
Speaker 3: If that's some uncertain person moved into our neighborhood and
Speaker 3: it's do you make you or are you nice? Or
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know how to because I'm now
Speaker 3: a little bit scared because of the things that I've
Speaker 3: heard that are not great? Or do you petition to
Speaker 3: kick them out of the neighborhood? But can you even
Speaker 3: you can't do that.
Speaker 2: No, you can't do that. You can't they we don't
Speaker 2: have the power to.
Speaker 3: I would never want a kid, but I'm just like, what,
Speaker 3: what do you like? Do you talk to the kid
Speaker 3: that's in high school? And I empathize and I want
Speaker 3: to be there, but also the things that I've heard
Speaker 3: is scary. They basically we were warned stay away, So
Speaker 3: it's do we make ourselves? Does he?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 3: Mike was like, do I talk to him? And but
Speaker 3: I'm like, but I don't want him to get scared
Speaker 3: and then do something to the house or or bully.
Speaker 3: You know, our kids are young.
Speaker 2: But it's just something to be aware of.
Speaker 3: I think, you know, I feel like you were going
Speaker 3: to say something to the mom, which I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't think you should say. I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's one of those I want to where my heart is.
Speaker 2: I want to kind of treat it as innocent until
Speaker 2: proven guilty, but the.
Speaker 3: Cops have already been over there. They were already in.
Speaker 3: He was already in like one of the other houses.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: I understand that I met he seems so nice, but
Speaker 3: when I I mean, my text for my friend was
Speaker 3: stay away. He is bad news. He's the kid that
Speaker 3: would potentially go into a school and do some bad
Speaker 3: stuff and that terrifies me for you know, other people,
Speaker 3: especially the other kids in the neighborhood. But I don't
Speaker 3: want to be that person either. I would love to
Speaker 3: be able to help, but then you also hear the
Speaker 3: stories when you help, they are also the ones that
Speaker 3: hurt you too.
Speaker 2: So but no, it's just one of those things that you,
Speaker 2: you know, you want to have a we have a
Speaker 2: good heart about, but at the same time, ultimately you
Speaker 2: have to protect your family and your kids. So it's
Speaker 2: it's being able to be empathetic and helpful but also
Speaker 2: keep our kids away. I think that's where we have
Speaker 2: to stand with it. Yeah, we can be opened open
Speaker 2: to it, but are not with our kids involved.
Speaker 3: You know, my problem is my I play too much
Speaker 3: scary movies in my head.
Speaker 2: You did, I mean, you definitely go like worst case scenario.
Speaker 3: I yeah, because our house is kind of like a
Speaker 3: fish bowl. We don't have really many shades. So when
Speaker 3: it's nighttime and he's gone, it's just you know that
Speaker 3: movie Strangers where I feel like I'm just gonna look
Speaker 3: to the to the all the open windows in the
Speaker 3: house and just see these faces appear.
Speaker 2: Oh gosh. And that's why we're having an alarm and
Speaker 2: guns in the house.
Speaker 4: And I know, but maybe shades. Maybe before you get
Speaker 4: the alarm of the guns, get some shit.
Speaker 3: I ask for shades, but Mike says it's going to
Speaker 3: ruin the aesthetic of the house.
Speaker 2: I put my foot down on that one.
Speaker 3: I'm just like, give me some shades. I feel like
Speaker 3: I'm in a fish bowl.
Speaker 2: It's great natural light.
Speaker 3: I wonder if there's a way to tint the windows.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't they have like the you can bring the
Speaker 1: tinting down. There's like a sheet a tinted shade, or
Speaker 1: you just hit a button that comes out.
Speaker 2: Even having the reservoir above the windows wouldn't look at more.
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Speaker 2: Oh Halloween week? Oh yeah, what are we doing?
Speaker 3: What do you mean? What are we doing? We just
Speaker 3: tried on our costumes, like we just but I appreciate
Speaker 3: the the surprise factor, but we can't tell people what
Speaker 3: we're doing yet. But again, I'm very much the family themed,
Speaker 3: so everyone, we're all about the family theme. So we're
Speaker 3: all a part of a princess fairy tale. We'll say that.
Speaker 3: Would you like to guess?
Speaker 1: I would like to guess because one year right after Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: when my youngest was born, my daughter, my oldest was
Speaker 1: snow white, and I was Prince Charming and my wife
Speaker 1: was Doc and the little one was the tiny little
Speaker 1: dwarf was a baby, was dopey and it was the cutest.
Speaker 1: I'm going to send you that picture today because you
Speaker 1: will know he's beautiful. Yeah, I'm going to send you that.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to guess. Let me think you said
Speaker 1: princess fairy tale?
Speaker 4: Is that what you said?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: Of course. Are you gonna tell me if I get
Speaker 4: it right?
Speaker 3: Or no? Sure?
Speaker 4: Yeah, think about this.
Speaker 3: You get one guess though, since you're doing that one guess,
Speaker 3: you get one guess because you know, if not, you'll
Speaker 3: keep going. And then if we told you that, we're
Speaker 3: going to tell you.
Speaker 4: That way right, Two boys and two girls? What? Oh? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 4: I got it, I got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's what I'm saying. Okay, Elsa vir Janna Anna
Speaker 1: for Jolee. Mike's gonna be uh what's his name? The
Speaker 1: guy with the donkey.
Speaker 4: Spen Christoph, Christoph. Yeah, you're gonna be Christoph and then Olaf.
Speaker 4: That's the family right there.
Speaker 3: Well you know what, I guess you don't follow us
Speaker 3: on Instagram because Mike was a seven foot ole off
Speaker 3: two years ago.
Speaker 2: Sorry we were yeah, we were frozen two years ago.
Speaker 2: I ordered this off costume.
Speaker 3: By the way, you still have it because I want
Speaker 3: you to surprise the kids.
Speaker 4: No, I wish.
Speaker 2: Remember we left in La John.
Speaker 3: Walked into Jolie's classroom. That would have been so good.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'll reorder it. Anyways, Mark, I found this
Speaker 2: costume from straight up from China, got it two years ago,
Speaker 2: sent to our house in La It was a legit, legit.
Speaker 2: I mean the head was like three feet high itself
Speaker 2: and I'm six foot five, so I was literally nine
Speaker 2: feet tall. Huge round costume, legs, slippers, everything. We go
Speaker 2: to Luca Lake to trick or treat, which you know
Speaker 2: it's crazy.
Speaker 4: Place to go. Oh oh yeah, they're showing me a picture. Now, wow,
Speaker 4: you are tall.
Speaker 2: And the best part about it, Mark, walking through to
Speaker 2: Luca Lake, I mean you would have thought I was
Speaker 2: paid to be there. Everyone wanted a picture with me.
Speaker 2: It was a it was a meet and Greek was
Speaker 2: a celebrity.
Speaker 3: He was I mean everyone was high fiving him, and
Speaker 3: it was it was that will go down.
Speaker 2: I mean it's hard to beat that.
Speaker 3: It is real hard to beat that. But now I
Speaker 3: love that.
Speaker 4: I know. Do you still have it?
Speaker 2: No, it's literally it's humongous. So we threw it away
Speaker 2: in LA because we already did it.
Speaker 1: You can't even have shades. I could you have a
Speaker 1: giant Olaf costume of that house?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's too big.
Speaker 3: But it's gonna be fun though. Oh it'll be Jason's
Speaker 3: first Halloween. He's gonna be so cute. Oh, he's the
Speaker 3: best friend. He's almost walking. Hey Easton, what's up with
Speaker 3: the crocs?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 6: What's what's up with the crocs?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Well it's c October.
Speaker 3: Is that a thing? Or is that a thing that
Speaker 3: you made up?
Speaker 4: It's a thing.
Speaker 6: It's it's it's a thing that croc Crocs made it up.
Speaker 6: But I'm celebrating it in a.
Speaker 2: Really big way. Do you have Crocs on?
Speaker 6: I don't have crocs on at the moment because I'm
Speaker 6: at work and I'm a professional and Crocs.
Speaker 4: Are a leisure shoe I was wearing.
Speaker 6: I've been wearing them a lot this month, though.
Speaker 3: Well, I saw you hiking with them, and I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't know if you should be hiking with Crocs
Speaker 3: on I mean, I love Crocs. Jolie calls them her
Speaker 3: alligator shoes, but I mean, you've really every time I've
Speaker 3: watched your stories this week or this month, it's been
Speaker 3: c October.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've a you know, I was gonna do every
Speaker 6: night of the month. I was going to profile a
Speaker 6: different pair of Crocks for my collection, but I only
Speaker 6: have three. I ran out of ideas after day three.
Speaker 6: But I you know, I took it as a creative
Speaker 6: challenge and I've just been doing original Croc content every
Speaker 6: single day of the month.
Speaker 3: That's huge.
Speaker 4: Any fine heard from Crocs?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've been messing with CROs. I've been trying to
Speaker 6: get Crocs. I don't want like money or anything. I
Speaker 6: just want them to know that I'm a passionate fan
Speaker 6: and I have some questions for them. Actually, I've been
Speaker 6: trying to get them to interview with me. No no answer,
Speaker 6: no answer. And then finally Ben Higgins from the Almost
Speaker 6: Famous podcast reposted one of my stories and Crocs came
Speaker 6: reaching out.
Speaker 3: Wow huge, your celebrity.
Speaker 6: Hey I'm just trying to spread the good word. Crocs
Speaker 6: are a comfortable shoe.
Speaker 2: Hey.
Speaker 3: Did anyone read the Kanye West story? By the way?
Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah? Interesting?
Speaker 3: What are hey, Tory? Do you want to give the
Speaker 3: brief rundown of what the article said?
Speaker 5: Yeah, So basically it's him kind of saying that he's
Speaker 5: redirecting his life. There was a lot in the article
Speaker 5: about him like starting a church, doing a faith based
Speaker 5: Christian album, but his struggle with sex addiction has been
Speaker 5: something he's been dealing with for a really long time,
Speaker 5: and so he's been opening up about that and basically,
Speaker 5: I don't know, I just I think it's a really
Speaker 5: interesting article to hear that Kanye West, and I guess
Speaker 5: that he's kind of opened up about it prior. I
Speaker 5: was looking at some other articles, but it was never
Speaker 5: to this extent of him being like, here's where I'm
Speaker 5: at and here's where I struggle with and yeah, so
Speaker 5: that's basically kind of a little when you read it too, right, Mite.
Speaker 2: Yeah, The thing is it's Kanye West. So I feel
Speaker 2: like anything he says kind of has to be taken
Speaker 2: with a grain of salt. Why because he just he
Speaker 2: says outlandish thing and outlandish things, and he just has
Speaker 2: is he still.
Speaker 3: Running for president? Didn't say he was running sween twenty.
Speaker 2: Exactly my point. Okay, So the fact that that even
Speaker 2: came out of his mouth, it's hard to take everything
Speaker 2: he says. And you know, if he claims that he
Speaker 2: suffers from sex addiction, then you.
Speaker 3: Know that may that's such a that's such a big
Speaker 3: thing to just come out and say, right, I mean,
Speaker 3: that would be kind of It's.
Speaker 2: Kind of like when Dax Shepherd said something about that
Speaker 2: and he said, I used to suffer from sex addiction.
Speaker 3: He said that, yeah, well, if you're a sex addict
Speaker 3: use right, I know.
Speaker 2: But and he's even I'm pretty sure he's in a
Speaker 2: twelve step program for drugs or something like that. But
Speaker 2: so it's I don't know. It's just one of those
Speaker 2: things that as someone who's open and out about it,
Speaker 2: it's frustrating at times because I feel like in situations
Speaker 2: like this, it's just it just feels thrown.
Speaker 3: Around almost if they're not making it. Because when you say,
Speaker 3: like I use, when Dak says like I used to
Speaker 3: be a sex addict, that's almost devaluing what the addiction
Speaker 3: is from someone who has a big platform to be
Speaker 3: able to talk about addictions. So saying, like I used to,
Speaker 3: that means that you can just get over sex addiction,
Speaker 3: which that's not true. When you're an addict, you're always
Speaker 3: an addict, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe his not to make this about Dax,
Speaker 2: but maybe his thing was more of something else alcoholic
Speaker 2: drugs or something that was and maybe the sex aspect
Speaker 2: was just a product of that. So I can understand
Speaker 2: maybe someone folks seen more on another addiction if they
Speaker 2: if they qualify for multiple addictions. Okay, so I can
Speaker 2: understand that. Okay, maybe that's what he was saying. Okay,
Speaker 2: But for like Kanye West, it's you know, it's just like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I you know, suffer from sex iction two and then
Speaker 2: what he's talking about with just a playborn magazine out
Speaker 2: and and everything, he doesn't really talk anymore about it.
Speaker 2: It's just I don't know. Again, it's Kanye. It's kind
Speaker 2: of confusing. I'm just afraid of someone just saying it
Speaker 2: just to say it, but not understanding or not living
Speaker 2: in recovery, or just saying that was a part of
Speaker 2: their life at some point, because it doesn't say anything
Speaker 2: that he currently still does, or he goes to meetings
Speaker 2: or anything like that.
Speaker 3: So it's just I don't know, do you think people
Speaker 3: can recover from sex addiction? Like when people say that, so,
Speaker 3: I think Jada Pinkett also, I don't want to misquote her.
Speaker 3: I believe she also said too that she had a
Speaker 3: sex addiction.
Speaker 2: She had, I don't. I don't see how it's a
Speaker 2: past tense thing. It's an addiction, just like anything anything else.
Speaker 2: People don't say I was an alcoholic, right.
Speaker 3: I mean, I agree with you, Yeah, No, So, I
Speaker 3: mean I.
Speaker 2: Think that's just a little frustrating because again of someone
Speaker 2: who's trying to, you know, educate people out there that
Speaker 2: it is a real thing. When it's thrown around like that,
Speaker 2: it just feels like it's undermining it, for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And you're right about the doubt, and he might
Speaker 3: have realized, Okay, this is where the actual, the stronger
Speaker 3: addiction is, for sure, and that could have maybe played
Speaker 3: a part of it with the sex. But to say
Speaker 3: to say that, especially when sex addiction is still not
Speaker 3: a accepted.
Speaker 2: Super socially accepted, accepted addiction.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard when known or talked about.
Speaker 2: When people are just kind of throw it around, especially
Speaker 2: people in the limelight or whatever it's. It just kind
Speaker 2: of gives me a bad taste in my mouth because
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're not helping the cause, you're not helping anything.
Speaker 2: Because then next thing, you know, is it is it
Speaker 2: going to turn into some fad right you know where
Speaker 2: just nowadays people are more open or there's more you know,
Speaker 2: sexual controversy and headlines a lot with me too stuff
Speaker 2: and abuse and all this, and it's oh, well sex.
Speaker 3: Addiction, And then you can say and then yeah, the
Speaker 3: part is saying like, but I'm not anymore. It's like, no,
Speaker 3: you still an addiction is something that you have to
Speaker 3: continue to work on because when you start to become weaky,
Speaker 3: I think that's what scares me. Two when people are like,
Speaker 3: but I'm in control of it now, well you need
Speaker 3: to have those steps right to be able to continue
Speaker 3: to not let it overpower you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's what that's my belief. If someone
Speaker 2: else believes that there's a cure to addiction, then okay, fine,
Speaker 2: but there isn't anybody that in any kind of twelve
Speaker 2: step program out there is going to say that anything
Speaker 2: else works other than twelve steps. No, one else, No
Speaker 2: one in twelve Steps thinks say anything.
Speaker 3: And you're not more powerful. You're not more powerful than
Speaker 3: the disease or not at all. Yeah, because you may
Speaker 3: feel that you're healthy right now in this moment, but
Speaker 3: come if you don't practice it and practice the twelve steps,
Speaker 3: you're going to end up maybe falling back to the
Speaker 3: addiction for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I mean some things may seem simpler than others
Speaker 2: to change about your life. I mean there's some aspects
Speaker 2: of you know, me being the program that are easier
Speaker 2: to handle than they used to be. But that's because
Speaker 2: I'm being you know, deeper and deeper into recovery. But
Speaker 2: it's as we saw with recent events, it's still there's
Speaker 2: still things looming that I have to continue to work
Speaker 2: through and you know, get by. So yeah, just I
Speaker 2: don't know, it's just again it's Kanye West. Who knows
Speaker 2: what he's gonna come out and say next week. You
Speaker 2: know that he wants to be the pope or something.
Speaker 3: So did he ever say anything about the twenty twenty
Speaker 3: election that he remember how he's made a whole thing
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 5: I think he has it a while, you know, he
Speaker 5: said on E actually on the E article that he
Speaker 5: still has something planned, Like he's still planning his campaign,
Speaker 5: is what it said. So I feel like this guy
Speaker 5: has a whole family. He has what four or five kids. Now,
Speaker 5: I don't see him coming out and saying, hey, I'm
Speaker 5: a sex addict just to make a point and like
Speaker 5: be Kanye West. I think that's him kind of being like,
Speaker 5: here's where I was and now he's like starting a church.
Speaker 5: He obviously it sounds like he found he has a
Speaker 5: relationship with God now that has like really changed his life.
Speaker 3: And I just feel like.
Speaker 5: Why are we Why are we trying to judge the
Speaker 5: way he's telling his story, Like it may not be
Speaker 5: on a podcast, it may not be in a sit
Speaker 5: down interview, but to him, this is him expressing something
Speaker 5: because he has like kids.
Speaker 3: Again, you know, he's not going.
Speaker 5: To just see somebody says a sex addict or is
Speaker 5: he says on a sex addiction from age till now
Speaker 5: having to kick the habit. It just presents itself in
Speaker 5: the open like it's okay, and I stand up.
Speaker 1: For it, and you know it says he's more addicted
Speaker 1: to inspiration as much as he is.
Speaker 4: In this set, I could have been like he.
Speaker 5: Says he's addicted to porn and that could have been
Speaker 5: something that inspired his music and now he wants to
Speaker 5: change that direction.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you know what I mean, How I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 2: I'll at you because you're in a great point, toy,
Speaker 2: and I totally understand that. Again, unfortunately, because it's Kanye West,
Speaker 2: and because he's had periods of just outlandish comments and
Speaker 2: everything where it's until there's consistency, it's hard for me
Speaker 2: personally to believe what he's saying or that.
Speaker 3: If I think what you're saying too is because of
Speaker 3: the sex addiction not being a very socially accepted addiction
Speaker 3: yet that it's just like, oh I was one and
Speaker 3: maybe I'm not now, which is not the true sex addiction.
Speaker 3: That's not right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, again, that's fine if he's if he's saying he's
Speaker 2: changing his ways and all that, because he is a
Speaker 2: family man and he's a man of God and all that.
Speaker 2: I'm not questioning that. Just don't just don't throw something
Speaker 2: on top of it, and obviously it impacts me more personally.
Speaker 2: Don't throw something like an addiction on top of it.
Speaker 2: If you're not gonna take it seriously. And you're just
Speaker 2: gonna kind of throw it, oh yeah and just shake
Speaker 2: my life and uh yeah, sex addiction. But it was
Speaker 2: my inspiration. Like you said, why, it's like, wait what,
Speaker 2: Hey're just going to go right over that.
Speaker 4: Every time he talks, I say, wait what, so exactly exactly.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I'm kind of I think it was pretty cool for
Speaker 5: him to open up with it being the Kardashians, because
Speaker 5: I think that's a very interesting dynamic to have your
Speaker 5: wife be kind of a sex symbol and then have
Speaker 5: him open them up on that.
Speaker 3: I think it's a very interesting dynamic. Yeah, I'm just
Speaker 3: more curious to understand the what he meant by either
Speaker 3: he was or he is, because I think that's that's
Speaker 3: the big difference. And that's where I would have more
Speaker 3: of an opinion too, because I do know that, like
Speaker 3: you have to be in the program and working it
Speaker 3: so to maybe hear more on that. But again, it's
Speaker 3: his how he shares it. And yeah, let's try to
Speaker 3: get him on book. Sure, Yeah, we're got that.
Speaker 1: We'll have a talk with tell shre heally we need
Speaker 1: to hold off. We we're gonna get Kanye West said, all.
Speaker 2: Right, well let's take a quick break and do some emails. Yes,
Speaker 2: do all right, Mark, We have any emails.
Speaker 1: Got some good ones this week. This is from V.
Speaker 1: She's wondering if she's a bad person, and he hears why.
Speaker 1: I'm separated and single and I've been seeing someone on
Speaker 1: and off since my separation.
Speaker 4: We've been intimate.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to grow feelings for him, but he's technically
Speaker 1: my husband's cousin by marriage, not a blood relative, and
Speaker 1: my husband's cousin by marriage. I feel like I'm doing
Speaker 1: something wrong by seeing him, But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I like spending time, and the time we do spend
Speaker 1: together is wonderful. We get along great. I'm smiling the
Speaker 1: entire time I'm with him. Am I horrible for continuing
Speaker 1: to see him? The chemistry's there. I don't want to stop,
Speaker 1: but maybe I should stop now before it gets even
Speaker 1: more serious.
Speaker 4: Or maybe I just see where things.
Speaker 3: Go wait time out. Is she married still or that's
Speaker 3: her separation.
Speaker 4: She's not divorced, are they?
Speaker 3: They're separate, but they're getting divorced.
Speaker 4: She did not say that necessarily.
Speaker 3: In my opinion, this might be the the not the
Speaker 3: popular opinion. I think you should wait until you get divorced,
Speaker 3: especially since it's a family person. But I think you
Speaker 3: like who you like and if the.
Speaker 4: End day, of course it's okay to date your ex
Speaker 4: husband's cousin.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's okay. I'm saying I think it's
Speaker 3: okay to like who you like and your feelings. You know,
Speaker 3: that's just like I mean, look at Shanaia Twain is
Speaker 3: married to her best friend's husband and they swapped basically husbands.
Speaker 3: When you're so close with and I'm sure there's so
Speaker 3: many times when someone has fallen in love with their brother,
Speaker 3: their their husband's brother because you're so close with them,
Speaker 3: you know them, you get them, you have this connection.
Speaker 3: But because it is family, that could get really bad.
Speaker 3: I don't think she's a bad person. I think that's
Speaker 3: normal to have feelings because you're so close with these people,
Speaker 3: especially with women, because they have that emotion, they're more
Speaker 3: emotionally connected to people. So I just think that maybe
Speaker 3: you should should hold off until you guys get divorced
Speaker 3: and then have a conversation, but don't do it in secret,
Speaker 3: in secrecy, because that'll then drive more of a wedge
Speaker 3: in the family. That's my unpopular position.
Speaker 2: Who I'm trying to I'm trying to do the family
Speaker 2: tree here. A cousin for a cousin by marriage, So
Speaker 2: let's talk that out.
Speaker 4: Hmmm. That's a good point.
Speaker 2: Because I would think the way I would the way
Speaker 2: it sounds to me, is that it would be Okay,
Speaker 2: it's his cousin's husband or something. Right, So right if
Speaker 2: unless he's married and having an affair with with her,
Speaker 2: the one who emailed us, how else would it be
Speaker 2: his cousin by marriage?
Speaker 3: It could be his cousin by marriage.
Speaker 2: See what I mean.
Speaker 4: It's confusing, and there's such a thing as.
Speaker 2: You know it would be.
Speaker 3: It would be like if if my cousin Eric, it
Speaker 3: would be his cousin through marriage.
Speaker 2: Be Jessica, Right, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: So like you dating Jessica.
Speaker 2: But but Jessica is married to Eric. That's how she's
Speaker 2: a cousin.
Speaker 3: Maybe they're separated and get a divorce, might see my
Speaker 3: point here, But we don't know that backstory that's true.
Speaker 3: Can you mean us again next week?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we might need some more information on this, but
Speaker 1: also more information. I mean, the heart wants what it
Speaker 1: wants is a very convenient excuse the people for really
Speaker 1: horrible decisions, right.
Speaker 6: But.
Speaker 3: Yes, and it's also the heart is something you should
Speaker 3: always listen to.
Speaker 2: But you know, there's so many questions you can go
Speaker 2: so deep with this is okay? Is the attraction to
Speaker 2: the cousin by marriage? Is that maybe part of what
Speaker 2: causes separation without the husband knowing, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like why are they separated? Are they in agreement that
Speaker 2: why they're separated that they can see other people? Are
Speaker 2: they living under the same roof? Like, there's a lot
Speaker 2: of questions to know.
Speaker 1: How close is your husband with this cousin by marriage,
Speaker 1: because some cousins are like brother and sister and some
Speaker 1: like I have cousins, I wouldn't know if they walk
Speaker 1: past me on the street.
Speaker 3: Oh see my first cousins there, they're like my brother
Speaker 3: and sister.
Speaker 2: Same. Yeah, we're very close first cousins. We both grew
Speaker 2: up the same way, where like our first cousins were
Speaker 2: like our siblings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because the street.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. So there's just a lot of questions here
Speaker 2: on what to know. I think ultimately, again it's it
Speaker 2: depends on if you handle this situation with integrity, then
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be that bad. So again, if
Speaker 2: her and the current separated husband under agreement of what
Speaker 2: they can do, what the boundaries are right now while
Speaker 2: they're separated, if when they do get divorced, she doesn't
Speaker 2: be sneaky about it, and she explains that this is
Speaker 2: the person that she's seen.
Speaker 3: So I think it's also a female thing too. And
Speaker 3: we always said this in our relationship. If I was
Speaker 3: ever too cheat, it'd be some close to us, right,
Speaker 3: because I'm just that emotional that I'm more of an
Speaker 3: emotional cheater, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2: I think that is more of a woman thing and guys,
Speaker 2: at least from me maybe, but for me personally, that
Speaker 2: would make me uncomfortable if it was somebody that we knew.
Speaker 1: Mark, all right, this is from Callen. I'm super close.
Speaker 1: This is actually actually flows nicely from that one. I'm
Speaker 1: super close with my parents, my brother, my extended family, cousins, aunts,
Speaker 1: and uncles. My fiance is from a broken family and
Speaker 1: only talks to them a few times a month. I
Speaker 1: talk with my family multiple times a day. We've been
Speaker 1: living together for four years. I moved across the country
Speaker 1: with him, and now we're engaged. He still he still
Speaker 1: feels like he's second to my family. I want him
Speaker 1: to feel like he's my priority.
Speaker 4: He is.
Speaker 1: I'm absolutely in love with him, but I don't want
Speaker 1: to change the relationship with my family to prove it.
Speaker 3: I don't think she has to.
Speaker 4: She shouldn't.
Speaker 3: No, No, just include him. So if you're having family
Speaker 3: this is something that I'll say, you know, if they're
Speaker 3: having family group messages, just include him in the text message,
Speaker 3: include him in the family messages. And I think that
Speaker 3: could help him feel a part of things. I know
Speaker 3: it always a part of things when i'm when you know,
Speaker 3: your mom includes me in the messages, and probably vice versa.
Speaker 3: We don't really do group messages on my side, but
Speaker 3: you know, I think that would help maybe that situation.
Speaker 3: But I don't think she should ever stop.
Speaker 2: No and just to and just I can understand his
Speaker 2: insecurity because he doesn't have that relationship, so.
Speaker 3: It's probably more to interface.
Speaker 2: It's foreign. It's foreign to him. So if she just
Speaker 2: continues to include him, like janas saying, then also reassure him, hey,
Speaker 2: you are my family, You are a part of this family,
Speaker 2: like this is you know, everybody loves you too, or
Speaker 2: just something to kind of make him feel better or
Speaker 2: more comfortable around.
Speaker 3: It, but also to have empathy for what he doesn't.
Speaker 3: He didn't doesn't and didn't have too, so to be like,
Speaker 3: you know that must because I think that's more self
Speaker 3: reflection on his part, while he's maybe projecting it is because.
Speaker 2: He didn't have because he's insecure about it. He didn't
Speaker 2: have it. That's and yeah, and for he should definitely
Speaker 2: try to embrace it and maybe change his mindset. Because
Speaker 2: for me, I know, just even from dating people, you know,
Speaker 2: as a young adult or younger person, I always knew
Speaker 2: I wanted my future wife to have like an awesome family.
Speaker 2: So I wanted great in laws. I wanted I love
Speaker 2: spending time with my significant other. And so like Mary
Speaker 2: and Janna, I like hit a home run with that
Speaker 2: because I love her family. I love the things we
Speaker 2: all do together. We have so much fun, and like that.
Speaker 2: I've always wanted that. That's something that's always been important
Speaker 2: I valued. So I mean that's something he should definitely
Speaker 2: try to embrace, like you're saying, Mark, and just like
Speaker 2: enjoy that.
Speaker 3: So if my family sucked you and married.
Speaker 2: Me, no, I'm not saying that. It was just definitely
Speaker 2: something that was important to me that I wanted to
Speaker 2: be able to have in laws, not just in laws,
Speaker 2: but in law family. Yeah, a fun family that enjoyed things,
Speaker 2: and I mean, we have so much fun every time
Speaker 2: we get together.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have one more, really juicy one about infertility. But
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Speaker 3: Oh, by the way, I want this the petite diamond
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Speaker 3: Oh I'm going to get this right now. This is
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Speaker 4: Can you wait till I do one more email? And
Speaker 4: then oh yeah for Jordan.
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: This is from Christine. My husband and I've been married
Speaker 1: for almost three years and together almost eleven. We've been
Speaker 1: trying to get prgened for a year and a half.
Speaker 1: After the year mark, I'm thirty one, we went to
Speaker 1: a fertility specialist. He had a semen analysis and I
Speaker 1: had an HSG and several other tests. The results came
Speaker 1: back that I'm good. His overall sperm count is good,
Speaker 1: but the viable sperm are very low. So we've started
Speaker 1: talking about artificial insemination, but he doesn't want to go
Speaker 1: that way. Every cycle we get another negative test and
Speaker 1: we're both devastated and he feels like it's his fault.
Speaker 1: I do my best not to blame him, but the
Speaker 1: clock is ticking and he's still not coming around. To insemination.
Speaker 1: I met a lost. I met a loss. There's nothing
Speaker 1: in this world that I want more than to be
Speaker 1: a mom. And adding to it, we're getting immense pressure
Speaker 1: from his mother to have kids. She's very negative to
Speaker 1: him and nasty to me about it.
Speaker 3: Oh well, that's awful that the in laws are pressuring,
Speaker 3: especially when it's already such a stressful situation to begin with.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's unfair, Michael.
Speaker 3: Let you speak on this because I know that you
Speaker 3: had a tough time with all of this.
Speaker 2: I mean I personally didn't have a tough time.
Speaker 3: You did with the playing like God and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well yeah, but that's also because my account
Speaker 2: was fine, so there wasn't an issue there. But I
Speaker 2: can I definitely empathize with him because you know, when
Speaker 2: it comes to pregnancy and stuff, essentially we have one job,
Speaker 2: right and from a scientist scientific point of view, we
Speaker 2: have one job, and when we aren't able to do
Speaker 2: that job, if we aren't able to do that job,
Speaker 2: I can imagine that feeling really degrading as a man,
Speaker 2: being like, man, this is the one thing I have
Speaker 2: to do to give you a child, and I can't
Speaker 2: do that. So if he's able to look at it
Speaker 2: from a different mindset and just be like, you know what,
Speaker 2: this is just a different way I can give my
Speaker 2: wife the gift of of a child. I would do
Speaker 2: whatever it took. Ultimately, Sure it weigh on me a
Speaker 2: little bit, but just changing my mindset and being like, well,
Speaker 2: this is what I have to do. I want a
Speaker 2: family with you, you want to be pregnant, you want a child.
Speaker 2: Let's do this. However we have to do it. Granted
Speaker 2: we had option to do artificial insemination when we did IVF.
Speaker 2: That was a little different.
Speaker 4: That's more.
Speaker 2: Is that what they're talking about doing or is it
Speaker 2: just like turkey based?
Speaker 3: I think both.
Speaker 2: So what I didn't like about the IVF thing is
Speaker 2: when they took one individual sperm and injected in the egg.
Speaker 2: I liked it where they basically put a syringeful's sperm
Speaker 2: in the petri dish with the egg against like let
Speaker 2: the best man win. I didn't like selecting one sperm.
Speaker 2: That's when I felt like it was playing god because
Speaker 2: the sperm that was supposed to go maybe wasn't that one.
Speaker 2: But with if it's just still you can still artificially
Speaker 2: inseeminate by not doing that. So I don't think that's
Speaker 2: necessarily necessary an issue with playing god. I think you
Speaker 2: got to do what you gotta do to get pregnant.
Speaker 2: And if they've tried this much and they felt that devastation,
Speaker 2: then it's like, hey, this is what I have to do.
Speaker 3: Mm hm, I agree.
Speaker 1: So, but it's right, he's going to feel like a failure.
Speaker 1: I think that's what he's going through, is the feeling
Speaker 1: like a failure. And if you do the art insemination,
Speaker 1: you've given up, like it's like so many people surrendering.
Speaker 3: So many people have to though, and so hopefully he
Speaker 3: can get past that to know that it's not just
Speaker 3: him that deals with this.
Speaker 1: Well, everyone's going to know. If you guys have a
Speaker 1: baby together, you don't have to announce in the birth
Speaker 1: announcement that she was done via artificial insemination. No one
Speaker 1: has to know that except you and.
Speaker 3: Your wife, right, And I bet the statistics are a
Speaker 3: lot higher now too with people that have to do that. Sure,
Speaker 3: Oh definitely, it's not like it's probably close to fifty,
Speaker 3: I would think.
Speaker 2: And I think what he needs to also maybe to
Speaker 2: help his mindset is to realize, well, like for me,
Speaker 2: I would rather it be me than Jana because the
Speaker 2: women feel so much pressure, right, because that's literally like
Speaker 2: what women maybe think they were put on this earth
Speaker 2: to do was to bear a child. Right, So I
Speaker 2: can't imagine the height and emotions that a woman may
Speaker 2: feel if they're not able to be fertile and have kids.
Speaker 2: So as a man, it's like, I'll I'll take that
Speaker 2: burden for you. If it was on me, cool, great,
Speaker 2: I'll do whatever I have to do to give you
Speaker 2: a child. Because I don't. I wouldn't want Janet to
Speaker 2: feel that. So for him, he should be like, you
Speaker 2: know what, better me than you. I got you money,
Speaker 2: whatever we have to do, I got you. I'm just
Speaker 2: glad it's not you. You don't have to deal with this.
Speaker 2: Let me take this burden and let me give your
Speaker 2: child in any way that I can. So if he
Speaker 2: can change his mindset like that and just just still
Speaker 2: be able to show it for her, I think he
Speaker 2: would have a much better time mentally and emotionally processing it.
Speaker 3: I mean, I was super off on the percentage. It's
Speaker 3: only two percent, but still I think that's still two percent.
Speaker 4: Is artificial insamdation.
Speaker 3: The and the centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports
Speaker 3: about four million births per year in the US, meaning
Speaker 3: one to two percent of all US berths are in nually,
Speaker 3: are or are via IVF.
Speaker 4: Really wow, that seems very.
Speaker 3: Shockingly low in my opinion.
Speaker 2: But yeah, but there's also like three hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: million people in this country. So think about the two
Speaker 2: percent of that, and then it takes us back to
Speaker 2: the other one. There's three hundred and fifty million people
Speaker 2: in this country. Maybe you don't have to date your
Speaker 2: husband's cousin wait to bring you back. There is love.
Speaker 3: Love is love. Oh what a good note. I love
Speaker 3: you guys. Happy Halloween.
Speaker 2: Be safe out there.