1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer an I'm Heeart radio podcast. 2 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: All right, just the two of us, Yes, the two 3 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,119 Speaker 1: I'll let you take the single. We we can they 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: get it? I can't. You can more than me. Would 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: you like me to give a shot just the two 6 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: of us? There you go, that'll make it feel good. 7 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,319 Speaker 1: We can make it if we try just the two 8 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: of us. There it is. That's why some people promoting 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: the car everybody while cleaning. Yeah, I like to know 10 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: where people listen to us. It's so funny. We take 11 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: a lot of baths with people, which I think is 12 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: really sweet and also like very vulnerable. I love that. 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll listen when I want to listen back on episodes. 14 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: I don't do it all the time, but I I 15 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: like to listen back. I will critique myself on certain things, 16 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: and then I'll text Usten and go, can you take 17 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: this out? Really fuss? I shouldn't say it like, because 18 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: I again sometimes forget that we're having we're just conversating, conversating, 19 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: and then I forget that things can maybe be taken 20 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:10,119 Speaker 1: out of context or which is or we just didn't 21 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: think about it until we said it. Yeah, And I 22 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: just so yeah. I mean I I don't do that 23 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: a lot, but there are times when I'm like, I 24 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: don't like how I said that, and I I think 25 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: it's good to have reflection of how you say things. 26 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 1: And I'm mindful of that, right because I want to 27 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: be better and do better and not just have I 28 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: think if people had a mic in front of them 29 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 1: when they're having girls talk, I think that they would 30 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: not sign up for that. So but I I like 31 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,960 Speaker 1: to I like to listen on a walk. So I 32 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: listened to the last episode when I'm when I'm walking, 33 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: and I like, I walk with you. Yeah, so, and 34 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: sometimes it's it's you know, I like to hear you guys, 35 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: your perspective because sometimes when we're doing this, I don't 36 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: really get to sit in it right right right as 37 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: we're trying to yeah, all right, now we're going to 38 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: the next second. I don't know, it's just but yeah, 39 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: it's nice to I always like the people that slide 40 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: into my dam's Wow. I've had quite a few last week, 41 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 1: but uh, the ones that are say, you know, uh, 42 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: listening to the podcast and yes in the car there, 43 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: but I haven't gotten the bath one. It's cute to me. 44 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: I actually got a FaceTime from Preston. He had landed 45 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 1: in Anaheim, and he was like, I have someone here 46 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: that wants to say hi, and I had, and he 47 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 1: does that to me a lot, which is just kind 48 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: of please don't do that to me, you know, like 49 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: because I feel like I don't have much of a 50 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: memory anymore, or I can't remember names as well, like 51 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: I just don't feel as buttoned up as I used to. 52 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: And this beautiful girl gets on and I do not 53 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: remember her name, or I don't even know if she 54 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 1: told me, but she said, I can't believe I'm getting 55 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: to talk to you on FaceTime. I just listened to 56 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: you girls on wine down on the plane ride here. 57 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: And I saw Preston and thought, I think that's Kristen's 58 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: how been, which is funny, dynamic because he's the artist 59 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: and love. And he was like, byby, she I don't 60 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 1: represent loved it? Represent? No, he did. Actually he was like, baby, 61 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: she loves you guys. And she was like, I can't 62 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: believe I'm seeing your living room not on Instagram. She 63 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:18,799 Speaker 1: was the cutest, sweetest, most like grateful human and I thought, well, 64 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 1: it's just fun. I think I don't ever see the 65 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 1: numbers of how many people we reach or who we 66 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: talk to. And I like it that way because it's 67 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: just seems tiny to me, and I like that, and 68 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: you just never know. We were thirty thousand feet in 69 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: the air with somebody right now, which is kind of crazy. 70 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: I had a real sweet girl stop me and at 71 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: Whole food sour Day and she said, I love you. 72 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: I listened to your podcast. She's like, thank you for 73 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: talking about vaccination stuff. And I was like, oh, not 74 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: many people were happy about that one, but thank you 75 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: for loving it. Yeah, where there's one, there's always another one. 76 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: So you know, it was you know, She's like, no, 77 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: but I just appreciated you being conflicted with it. And 78 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: I said, and he's just like, what's the update? Which 79 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: I shared with her and we'll not sure on here, 80 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: so you know, fair, It was just it was I 81 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: enjoy that people may have differing of opinions and that 82 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: still listen and those that come and chill in the 83 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: bath with us, that's sweet. We love you in the bath. 84 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: I think it's been Is it fair to bring up 85 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: that it's been a heavy week? I think avoiding it 86 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: being a heavy week feels disingenuous to who we are, 87 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: and we record on Tuesdays. Now we don't record Wednesdays 88 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 1: and more Tuesdays. So this is obviously past September tenth. Yeah. Yeah, 89 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: So just a really heavy day, and I was trying 90 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: to think, like, how do we how do we acknowledge 91 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: that the world feels scary without like you don't want 92 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: to invoke fear, right, I think that that is tricky 93 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:00,359 Speaker 1: right now, but I did think it was worse sharing. 94 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: I talked to a couple of my mom friends this 95 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: week that we're panicked, and we're like, you know, I 96 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: want a homeschool now, and the world feels crazy, and 97 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:14,479 Speaker 1: you know, it's it's wild. I'm being so careful with 98 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: my words, which I also hate to do. I just 99 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: think it is wild that we are living history in 100 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: real time. And yeah, I saw what I did not 101 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: want to see ever in in my life. And you're 102 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 1: not supposed to see, ye are. I was talking to 103 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: a doctor amin about this. Actually we are not busy. 104 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: I'll h I'm gonna butcher this word. But our brains 105 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 1: and our body are not meant to consume violence in 106 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: that way, real violence, that in that way correct watching 107 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: it live like we we are not built like that 108 00:05:55,279 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: to be able to And again, I's one of those 109 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: things where I'm like, I wish I never saw that. 110 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: I don't want it. I don't want to ever see 111 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to see this, So I don't want 112 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: to see any of it. I don't. It's not meant 113 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: for our eyes to see. That's right. And I also 114 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: appreciate that a lot of us can't see that because 115 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 1: we can't process that, because I think that means that 116 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: there's more empathy in the world than there is evil 117 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: or whatever. And this is it's like across the board, right, 118 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: like it's everything. It's schools, it's assassinations, it's a temptable, 119 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:38,239 Speaker 1: it's everything. It's just there's this like level of homes, yeah, floods. 120 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 1: I mean, we've this. I have to just keep reminding 121 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 1: my friends, we are living in history. There is no 122 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: way to navigate this well and be done in excellence. 123 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: And so I think if we can take the pressure 124 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: off of ourselves. It is not normal and it should 125 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: not be normal. And this is not the way, and 126 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: it is not normal to witness a thirty one year 127 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: old father get assassinated. It is not normal to watch 128 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: someone like George Floyd. It is not normal to see 129 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 1: mass shootings. It is not normal. And then to have 130 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 1: to plan birthday parties or to take your kids back 131 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: just hear about someone getting murdered in their own home 132 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: and their dogs and ever ever did the list unfortunately 133 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: goes on yes, and getting murdered, entire groups of people, children, 134 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: all the entries. That's the thing. It's like. I had 135 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 1: a lot of people obviously go into my DMS, lost 136 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: many followers, money, told me they were unfollowing me. We're 137 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: very hateful, but my whole I reposted what you had 138 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: posted because it's all not okay, and I'm I've never 139 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: spoken politically. I'm never going to speak politically. I will 140 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: always lean into my faith. That's it, and I speak 141 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: for it's all not okay, that's it. And what's wild 142 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: is what I had posted was so down the middle 143 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: and in my brain and objectively was an umbrella to 144 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: all of it. It was not specific to any person 145 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: or any group. Just to say that I think that 146 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: the solution that we will find to be the solution 147 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: is not one person. It is the collective, and it 148 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: is the hope in people. Biblically it says, hope deferred 149 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: makes a heart sick, and I just I think it's 150 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: just worth if nothing else, and it's listen, we could 151 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: be as careful as we want to be and somebody's 152 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: still going to be upset. And I'm okay with that 153 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: in the way that I just want you to hear 154 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: my heart, and my heart is it is not the way, 155 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 1: and we can't expect ourselves to just keep not feeling 156 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 1: when it feels this heavy. And the compassion is I 157 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:49,840 Speaker 1: think our path back to healing. That's my soapbox about it. 158 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 1: Compassionate people, We need you more than ever. Yeah. I 159 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: think it Actually had a really lovely conversation because someone 160 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 1: said something back to me and I responded they were 161 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: very mean, and I responded back with love and I 162 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: just said, I am so sorry that you know you're 163 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 1: hurting it all her like it's all hurtful, and you know, 164 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 1: I wrote back a very loving thing and I just said, 165 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: you know, you're totally your choice to done follow me, you know. 166 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: And then she wrote back and she's like, thank you 167 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: for being so kind, and I'm like, well, of course, 168 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: you know, like I had the same She was like 169 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: mad at me and I said, I'm just happy you're 170 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: having a conversation with me. Yeah, like just talk with me, 171 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: because it actually wasn't through the lens of what you're 172 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,559 Speaker 1: seeing it. And we're also forgetting how much like media 173 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: and social media is just it's so laser focused to 174 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 1: see one way or the other. Like I it's just 175 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,559 Speaker 1: so wild, and then we're getting mad at each other 176 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: without conversation, like let's just chat. And I actually really 177 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: enjoyed my conversation with her a lot. Yeah, I had 178 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: a few that were great. Others I just yeah, straight 179 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 1: it blocked and that's fine, you know, but yeah, there's 180 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: just I've spent a lot of time just and I 181 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 1: got honestly, I just stopped reading or just looking on 182 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: social media because it was just too much and it 183 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,199 Speaker 1: was just heavy, but for all of it, like the 184 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 1: literally all status of the world, all of it, and 185 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: so I just really leaned into just kids and family 186 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 1: and that's really what it's about. And it's so interesting 187 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 1: the conversations that I was having. I mean, obviously my 188 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:30,319 Speaker 1: kids know nothing about that piece of it, but jolways 189 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: been asking just a lot of questions around you know, God, 190 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: and we've had some just beautiful conversations, and I'm like 191 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: that to me, that's just what I lean into. Yeah, 192 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: I actually therapist Amy, different therapists. Amy told me that 193 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,959 Speaker 1: once that when we don't know what to do, it's 194 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: best to just center in our houses, in our own body, 195 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: in our own walls, and that that is more impactful 196 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,400 Speaker 1: for the common good than we think or give credit for. Yeah, 197 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: I think that's I just realized too. I mean, there's 198 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,199 Speaker 1: so much. I mean when I just go on Instagram. 199 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: I told Alan the other day, I said, you know, 200 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: I wasn't scrolling on Instagram. So I went to us 201 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: Weekly and I was like, Jesus, there was like twenty 202 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 1: breakups because that's what happened. I'm like, you, you just 203 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,319 Speaker 1: go through the scroll because you know, because they also 204 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: weekly will post at least like fifteen stories thank Goodness 205 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: a day because there's one you want to pry. They 206 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 1: really just you know, I give him an hour and 207 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: they'll be a different news story, thank the Lord, and 208 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: so you know. But I was reading it, and honestly, 209 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: you know, I was just trying to like catch up 210 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,680 Speaker 1: with everything. But yeah, I was. I was so sad 211 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 1: to see some of the breakups. But within that I 212 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: always go I get so excited. Like I texted someone 213 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: I won't say who it was, but one of the 214 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 1: breakups this this past week, I texted her and I said, 215 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: you know, sending you love And I always hate this 216 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 1: sounds will sound so weird, but I'm so excited for 217 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: you because I love a next chapter for them, not 218 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: to like no no on sale and Amazon, but I 219 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,880 Speaker 1: really do. I get so excited for people, and it's 220 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,319 Speaker 1: like so sad I'm reading. You know, she's one of them, 221 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: is Nina, and you know her fiance they broke up, 222 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: and it's just I know the heartbreak. We know the heartbreak. 223 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 1: Everyone knows the heartbreak of breaking up in a relationship. 224 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: But I get so excited for people to find their 225 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 1: actual true love and to go for you know, what 226 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: they really need and deserve and want. And I don't know, 227 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,679 Speaker 1: I just get like, I guess I look at it differently. 228 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 1: I get excited. Is that weird of me? No, Like 229 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 1: I'm sad for them in the moment because I know 230 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 1: the heartache. But then I'm like anybody that's like I'm 231 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: so upset because I just broke up with I'm like, 232 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: that's so sad, sit in it, cry about it, and 233 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: then be so excited that you get to truly live. 234 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: You get to fall in love again, you get to 235 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: find what yourue like that is, Oh my goodness, falling 236 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: in love. It's beautiful, it is fine, and you get 237 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:03,319 Speaker 1: to find the person that that deserves you and you're one. 238 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 1: You know, it's wild. We celebrated ten years last week 239 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: and we took a trip and cut it short because 240 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: we're just not good at being away from our kids 241 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:16,439 Speaker 1: and the world felt heavy and weird, and and Preston 242 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: was like, I like, it's just wild. We were I 243 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: actually was talking to him on the way here. He's like, 244 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,439 Speaker 1: I feel like that was so quick, And I said, 245 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 1: I know, but there's something really special when we finally 246 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,240 Speaker 1: do unplug and it's the last time we had done 247 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 1: that was for your wedding. That gives you any indication, 248 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: so over a year ago, And he said, I just 249 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 1: I said, I feel like the time slows down when 250 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: we're together and we get to we just travel well 251 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: together and we want to do the same things and 252 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:43,080 Speaker 1: it's not structured and we really enjoy it. And he 253 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: you know, I had I was married before and and 254 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,080 Speaker 1: I think that's always in the back of his brain too, 255 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's just so wild to me because 256 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: that's just I don't remember. Yeah, We've just done so 257 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: much life together and it has not been easy. And 258 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: he actually asked me a question. He's like, which I thought, 259 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,839 Speaker 1: this is cute. You're going to be proud of this 260 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 1: because this isn't typical him. This has evolved, Preston. But 261 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: you said, what was your favorite year of our marriage? Ben? 262 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 1: And I said not three or seven? And he goes, Okay, 263 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: I didn't ask. He's like, I didn't have such a 264 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: difficult as response. Yeah, I know, I knew you'd appreciate, 265 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: But I said, I think now, like I like the version. 266 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: I like how you're in my corner and I just 267 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: can't imagine living life without him. So to all the breakups, 268 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: I get it, like you, I thought, for sure. I mean, 269 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: it's the saddest I'd ever been. It was the darkest 270 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 1: I'd ever been, and divorce. I thought, it's the only 271 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: time in my life I contemplated suicide. It was dark. 272 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to brush over that. It's just the 273 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: reality was so deep and dark, and to think that 274 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: I could not even know Preston, but not know three 275 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:52,080 Speaker 1: human beings is crazy to me, my baby, So I 276 00:14:52,200 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 1: feel that for sure, wild wild times. All right, friend, 277 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 1: are you gonna unpin your whine about it? Well, I'm so, 278 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: it's yeah, I want to. I kind of want Kat's opinion, though, 279 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: because it's gonna be I know Kats so well, I 280 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 1: could be Okay, you want to play Cat, I can 281 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: play Cat. I don't ever play Kristen when I'm not here. Okay, 282 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: you're gonna play Cat in the movies, Okay, Okay. So 283 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: this actually goes along kind of perfectly with what we're 284 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: talking about. So I have this has happened to me 285 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 1: like this conversation has been brought to me several times 286 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: in the last few weeks, and I'm I really do 287 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 1: want to know you and Kat's opinion on it. So 288 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: one of them is in her twenties, and then one 289 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 1: of them is in her forties, divorced and starting over. 290 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 1: The other one has never been married and was just 291 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 1: on a date. I don't envy anybody in the dating scene. 292 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: It all overwhelms me and my thoughts. Embearers are with 293 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: you in this moment because it's just a lot out there. 294 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 1: All that to say, one both of these gentlemen, two 295 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 1: separate occasions, two separate men on the first date mentioned 296 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: that they had cheated in previous relationships, okay, And both 297 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 1: women came to me and were like, well, that's a 298 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: red flag okay, And I said, okay, like agreed, that's 299 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 1: not the greatest history, right, But I said, what happens, Like, 300 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 1: would you prefer that he holds that information and withholds 301 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: it for dates or months, or would you prefer that 302 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 1: he's just up front so that it's out Like I 303 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: kind of felt bad for this guy because I thought, 304 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: here he is probably trying to no, you don't know 305 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: either of them, Okay, well one of them. We could 306 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 1: be their mom, so cappy that loves me, young man 307 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: trying to lead with the honesty. I'm like, well, if 308 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 1: that's my son, I'm just damn proud of him. So 309 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 1: I don't know. I just I said, I'm conflicted, because 310 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 1: I really think there is something really handsome and honorable 311 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: about owning the fact that a relationship had ended that way. 312 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 1: Because she said, you know it was your last relationship, 313 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: how long was it? You know, why did you guys 314 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: break up? And he said he cheated, and she was like, 315 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 1: that's it, I'm done. I can't do that. And I thought, well, 316 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: I don't love it, obviously, but then also I just 317 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 1: really deeply appreciate the honesty and the openness. And I said, 318 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: I feel like he could feel stuck if he waits 319 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,159 Speaker 1: too long. Then that's a thing. So my question to 320 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 1: you and fake cat is do you want to know 321 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: the first date? Do you want to know the fifth date? 322 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 1: Do you want to know? Never? Well, I think, okay, 323 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 1: this is this is me speaking Janna. Okay, Jenna, you're live. 324 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 1: So I had a with someone that I was dating 325 00:17:56,320 --> 00:18:02,719 Speaker 1: post divorce, was an honest about that piece of cheating. 326 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:07,119 Speaker 1: And I found out later on that he did cheat. 327 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: And his response was, well, I didn't want to tell 328 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: you because I didn't want you to think I was Mike. 329 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 1: And I said, you not telling me is Mike, So 330 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 1: you wouldn't you would have wanted to know. Absolutely, I 331 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,879 Speaker 1: done it though change and become a red flag. But 332 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: here's the difference. And I think if Alan would have 333 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,880 Speaker 1: told me that he cheated, I don't know if I could. 334 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,439 Speaker 1: And this is this is this is so hypocritical of 335 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: me to say this one thousand percent because I have 336 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: cheated in the past, not in past marriages, but in 337 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: my past. That to me is important. I don't know why. 338 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,359 Speaker 1: It just makes me feel about it. You important today, 339 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,440 Speaker 1: That's just yeah, it's important to me to say that 340 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,199 Speaker 1: I've never cheated in a marriage. I've cheated in a 341 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:58,959 Speaker 1: boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Okay, so and I'm not proud of it, right, 342 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 1: not proud of that piece of it. But also like 343 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 1: twenty years ago, twenties life is twenties wild. Yeah, so 344 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 1: noaks us for it still, but also in my twenties 345 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: I did a lot of things. So like we're plother pants. 346 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: I don't think like for this sweet kid, I will 347 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,200 Speaker 1: always say honesty first. If someone doesn't like you because 348 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 1: of your past, that is the biggest red flag to me. 349 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 1: Well and she was cheated on before, right, and she 350 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,959 Speaker 1: I get. And that's the thing. Like if it was 351 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: now in my forties, if someone if he did say 352 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,880 Speaker 1: I cheated in my marriage, that's tough. Yeah, that's tough 353 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:39,440 Speaker 1: for me given the seven years of a cheating affairs 354 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: that my ex had so like over and over and 355 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,719 Speaker 1: over again. So I have a different band. Wasn't for 356 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 1: you if he doesn't. To me, that's withholding and if asked, like, 357 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: I don't think someone okay, I don't think you need 358 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 1: to blurt that out on your first date. Now, if 359 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: the person asked be honest, yeah, so I think he 360 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 1: was just a bit of an oversh or this guy. 361 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: I wouldn't. It was like, you're in your twenties, dude, like, yeah, 362 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,919 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have said it on the first I would't. 363 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I wouldn't say it on the first date. 364 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: This is now, This is like me and Kat talking 365 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: because I think this is what she'd say. Okay, I 366 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,680 Speaker 1: wouldn't say it on the first date. We should call it. 367 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:18,560 Speaker 1: Talk to us then, you know, be honest. Lying about 368 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 1: it will get you nowhere. And to me, the lie 369 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,159 Speaker 1: is always the red flag. It's never the act itself. 370 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 1: And that is what I tried to beat down in 371 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: this my ex's brain about this, and you know, even now, 372 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,119 Speaker 1: things that happen, it's like I try to tell the 373 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: kids this too. It's never about the act, it's about 374 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,919 Speaker 1: the lie. So you lying to me about this, Mommy's 375 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: going to be upset because you lied, not because you 376 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: didn't brush your teeth. But because you're not honest about it, 377 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 1: that's right. So it's not about the act. To me, 378 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 1: it's about the lie. And I don't think so you 379 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,120 Speaker 1: don't want to know? Do I want to know? Yeah? 380 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: But not for a first date? Okay I did post divorce? Yeah, 381 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: did you cheat on your wife? That was like one 382 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 1: of my first questions, asked I send you on a 383 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: first date post divorce? Yeah? Even I got to the point, 384 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: I mean just quickly had to Yeah, wasting any time? 385 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,720 Speaker 1: That's crazy. And you think Kat would say the same? 386 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:15,400 Speaker 1: I think so I do because I don't think because 387 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,879 Speaker 1: because she's friends with me, Oh true? And I think 388 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 1: she has a lot of compassion for people. She wants 389 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: to know. Yeah, she's a sharp shooter anyway, It's like 390 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: she likes straight forward information. Interesting. I just wondered. It 391 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:36,800 Speaker 1: keeps coming up, and I don't know what I would want. 392 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 1: I feel duped if you don't tell me a little, 393 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: but then I feel hesitant if you do tell me. 394 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: But I do think I'm kind of like a strong 395 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 1: second chance gal. So I think I could know the 396 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 1: first date. Maybe not the first date. Maybe I did 397 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,800 Speaker 1: that and I shut myself on the foot, so oh, no, 398 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 1: oh no, no, because I think here's the deal. I 399 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 1: think this is also an important piece. If you find 400 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:08,679 Speaker 1: out they've cheated on every girlfriend, h that's a red flag. 401 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: I think Steve and Sex and the City is a 402 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 1: little one time whoopsie, oh buddy and anybody else, a 403 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,640 Speaker 1: one time thing is a you know, but if it's 404 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 1: it is every single girlfriend, yeah, then it's more of 405 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: a person Relationshipah. You like with being like it's okay 406 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: people cheat, No, that's not okay. Actually okay, and I 407 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: should have ran, but it's okay, we're here. Kylie Kelsey 408 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 1: reveals she doesn't want me time as a mom of 409 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,920 Speaker 1: four and shares what she actually needs instead. I love 410 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 1: what she was saying. She basically said, approximately thirty minutes, 411 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,920 Speaker 1: I'll give it. Thirty minutes into that, I get real bored. 412 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,959 Speaker 1: I want them to come back, which I think this 413 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: isn't This is so such a good little topic because 414 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 1: I had this moment just yesterday. Alan was like, Hey, 415 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna take Roman with me to Whole Foods and 416 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,119 Speaker 1: I was like, no, it's fine, Like I'm gonna take 417 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,439 Speaker 1: him to the bus and then I'm gonna play with him. 418 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 1: He's like babe, it gives you a break. I'm like, 419 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 1: for what, Like what you know what I mean, Like 420 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 1: I'm in I'm in mom mode from seven in the 421 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,440 Speaker 1: morning to seven pm, Like there is no like, yeah, 422 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 1: sure would I like maybe thirty minute break, okay, But 423 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 1: I also, you know, he was gone at preschool today, 424 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: Like I want to hang out with him. Yeah you 425 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,959 Speaker 1: miss him? Yeah, I miss him? And so I I 426 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,920 Speaker 1: love that concept. I think it's nice to have those 427 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,639 Speaker 1: thirty minutes breaks, But I also feel like we kind 428 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,639 Speaker 1: of get it right now with when Roman naps for 429 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 1: those two hours, Like I get two hours to work 430 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: out or you know, do something that I that I 431 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 1: want to do. But also like I just in this 432 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: season too. Last night, Julie's like, Mom, can we play Uno? 433 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,880 Speaker 1: And it was past your bedtime? But I'm like, yeah, list' muna, 434 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,200 Speaker 1: let's do it. Because in about a couple of years, 435 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: she's not gonna be want to playing Uno with me. Yeah. 436 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,840 Speaker 1: I think that's too. Like the weight of the world 437 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: just has given us a different perspective. Yeah, Like last night, 438 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 1: the baseball game went late and we got home and 439 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,880 Speaker 1: it was late and we were all just hanging out 440 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 1: and like chatting and like laughing, and I thought, it's 441 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,199 Speaker 1: so late. My throat is closing. These kids need to 442 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 1: get to bed. And then I also was just like 443 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 1: they get a data and they haven't seen data, and 444 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 1: so we'll just live in this moment for a minute. Yeah, 445 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 1: maybe that's the gift. I feel like you get your 446 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,439 Speaker 1: mom time when they're out out, and I think we 447 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: still need Like sometimes I will be like a mom 448 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: needs like thirty minutes on a weekend or something. Yeah, 449 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: but also thirty minutes is like nothing, So it's like 450 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: I'm rather just stay in. It's like clocking out for lunch. 451 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 1: I'm like, forget it. I'd rather just eat a bar 452 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,160 Speaker 1: and keep moving. Just keep going, yeah, keep going, Yeah, 453 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 1: because you just get tired, and then it's like, yeah, 454 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 1: gotta come. You got to re enter. It's like any 455 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:53,560 Speaker 1: wants that no re enters. No. Nick Cannon says having 456 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 1: twelve kids was a response to trauma. Admits he was 457 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: being careless and frivolous with his process. The Wild and 458 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,640 Speaker 1: Out Creator is a father of twelve children from six 459 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: different women. He got candid about his unorthodox fatherhood journey 460 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: during an appearance on the morning radio show The breakfast club. 461 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: He said that welcoming his children the way that he 462 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 1: did was a response to his trauma. It wasn't like 463 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 1: I was acting out. It was more of being careless, 464 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 1: being frivolous with my process because I could do it 465 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,199 Speaker 1: because I had the money and because I had the 466 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,239 Speaker 1: access to whoever and however I wanted to move. He said. Then, 467 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: obviously life happens as well, So it wasn't like, oh, 468 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: I'm going to go have twelve kids. It was more about, like, Yo, 469 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:37,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just live life and have fun and whatever 470 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,119 Speaker 1: happens happens. I can handle it. Being almost forty five now, 471 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: I could sit back and Yeah, if I would have 472 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 1: the thought process through, thought, the thought process through a 473 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 1: little bit more, and took time to actually do the 474 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 1: inner work, things might have been a little different in 475 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:56,240 Speaker 1: certain scenarios. I really am glad he said it. Yeah. 476 00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 1: I think the ownership is yeah, pretty great with that. Yeah, 477 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: And I don't Obviously the past is the past, and 478 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: there's twelve probably stunning children in this orbit because of him. 479 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: But I was watching it unfold in real time, and 480 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 1: I'm like, what are we doing? Yeah, what are you 481 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,199 Speaker 1: up to? Nick? And also I just kept thinking, this 482 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,680 Speaker 1: is going to get expensive someday. Well, I like when 483 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 1: he said too, he goes, now you're leaving trauma every 484 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: step of the way instead of fixing it from its origin. 485 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,440 Speaker 1: And I think that's to be said for a lot 486 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 1: of people in life. Like I went from bad relationship 487 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,159 Speaker 1: to bad relationship to bad relationship, you know, over and 488 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: over and over again, because I wasn't fixing my own 489 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:40,200 Speaker 1: inner problem. Yes, so I go around casting even post divorce, 490 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 1: you know, with people that I would date, I would 491 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: easily just point a finger like, oh here, I'm dating 492 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: the same person. Well why am I dating the same person? 493 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,760 Speaker 1: You know what? Like what isn't with me that is 494 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: not healed? And to really do that work, I think, 495 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 1: is how you can change the trajectory. And like he's saying, 496 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 1: like post divorce, if he would have leaned in instead 497 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:05,679 Speaker 1: of leaned out and among other things out, yeah, yeah, 498 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 1: while and out you know, but it's it. You don't 499 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,120 Speaker 1: realize that until until you're literally at the bottom, that's 500 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,199 Speaker 1: the thing. Like I did not realize that until, like 501 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: I spoke about this in the book, I was staring 502 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: at my gun, you know what I mean, Like you 503 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,159 Speaker 1: don't realize it until you're at your freaking lowest. Yeah, 504 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: that you It's not all the finger pointing, it's actually 505 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,359 Speaker 1: get a point back at you. Yeah. I think I 506 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 1: married a version of myself when I married Preston, and 507 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:38,400 Speaker 1: that's been really therapeutic because I I, we were so similar, 508 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 1: but then all of a sudden, like we weren't similar 509 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 1: and I was on a different path. And it took 510 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 1: some catching up on his end. But it is a 511 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:51,240 Speaker 1: really wildly sobering moment when you're like, Okay, yeah, you know, 512 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,479 Speaker 1: I I see this pattern. I used to be this pattern. 513 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 1: And it wasn't that I was better then, it was 514 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 1: just that I was trying not to repeat my own history, 515 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,159 Speaker 1: but I accidentally married my history instead. So well, and 516 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 1: this is the thing that I think a lot of 517 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 1: times about when people and listen, this is not true 518 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,480 Speaker 1: for everybody, but when someone gets divorced and they start 519 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: dating right away, which again i'm victim to, I've done it. 520 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 1: You're just you're masking all the stuff you need to 521 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,199 Speaker 1: actually work on, and so then you don't work on 522 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 1: the piece until that next relationship breaks up. And so 523 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,120 Speaker 1: that's where I always go when I see someone move 524 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 1: right into something, and I always go, there's there's still 525 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 1: so much because of my own course, and I know 526 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 1: that's not for everybody, but there's so much that needs 527 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 1: to be healed and worked through to change why something 528 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 1: didn't work. The ownership piece, Yeah, that's the thing. I'm 529 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 1: just glad he said it, and I'm glad he gets 530 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,160 Speaker 1: it because it's also I think what I get. What 531 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: gets hard for me is that there's twelve kids that 532 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 1: will just not nearly get the attention that they need 533 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: and deserve. Because twelve kids is a lot of kids, 534 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 1: and he has six different moms. This isn't like he 535 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 1: can just have everyone over for dinner, right, Maybe he can. 536 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: Maybe that's the situation. I don't know. I just I 537 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 1: at one point was like, there some family system feels good, 538 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 1: you know, some sort of like something for these children. Yeah, 539 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 1: sweet Nick, it's gonna be whiling out an extra to 540 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: be able to pay for all those babies. HI love 541 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: the podcast and Janna, you recently spoke about meeting Mike's 542 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 1: new girlfriend, so I was hoping you could help me out. 543 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: I've been divorced for three years and my ex and 544 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 1: I share fifty to fifty custody of our two kids. Recently, 545 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: he introduced me to his new girlfriend, which I was 546 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 1: fine with, but now my kids keep telling me about 547 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 1: all the fun things they do with her, and honestly, 548 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 1: it makes me feel replaced and jealous. I want to 549 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: be supportive and not put my kids in the middle, 550 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: but I'm struggling with these feelings of jealousy and insecurity. 551 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: How do I process this and still show up as 552 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: the best mom I can be? First and foremost, love 553 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 1: the honesty. I love the honesty, and I don't know 554 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 1: how y'all do this well. I just don't know how. 555 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: I I could never do what you do. Yeah, I 556 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: don't think I'm strong enough or something for that. I mean, so, 557 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 1: he's it's not my information to share, and I won't 558 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: share why or anything like that, because again it's not 559 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 1: my information to share. But to my knowledge, they're not 560 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 1: together anymore. So, But to go back to this point, 561 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 1: it's not I mean, definitely wasn't easy. This is the 562 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 1: first one that I had sat down with and you 563 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 1: know there's that piece where yeah, I mean again, I've 564 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,720 Speaker 1: said this a million times over on this podcast. But 565 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: the reason that I stayed so long was because I 566 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: didn't want someone else raising my kids, or being around 567 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 1: my kids, or knowing that my kids the way that 568 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: I meant to spend all the memories and you know, 569 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: as their mom. Obviously, you know, I realized at the 570 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 1: end of the day staying was far more painful than leaving, 571 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 1: which was my catalyst to leaving after the last affair. 572 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: And so this part has always has always been something 573 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 1: that I dreaded, right, and so this the first time 574 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: actually meeting this someone that was gonna was going to 575 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: be spending time with the kids, was so hard. But 576 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: I also looked at it in a way where I 577 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,440 Speaker 1: knew and especially the major of the kids, like I 578 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:40,080 Speaker 1: know that I'm mom, They know I'm mom, and I 579 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 1: think it's a little bit different fifty to fifty like that, 580 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 1: since I have seventy thirty, I do have them more. 581 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: So she wasn't going to be around them as much 582 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: as you know, we you know, we we do. But 583 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day just comes 584 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:56,000 Speaker 1: down to other people loving their kids, and I, you know, 585 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 1: I was even like, hey, you know, when you're back 586 00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,840 Speaker 1: in town, let's go. You come with me and Jolly 587 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,719 Speaker 1: to go shopping. And let's get our nails done and 588 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: let's you know, do things together too, where it's where 589 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 1: it's not just her and the kids. And I think 590 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 1: it's important for them to have a relationship with them, 591 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,240 Speaker 1: of course, because you want them to feel comfortable in 592 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 1: the home with you know, their dad, and whoever their 593 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: dad's spending time with. I also think it's important to 594 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 1: have that shared connection. And you know, obviously we didn't 595 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 1: end up doing that because he's not with her anymore. 596 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 1: But I've always looked at it now as because of 597 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 1: my kid's age, because of the time that I do have, 598 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,360 Speaker 1: this is just an added person to love my kids. 599 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: But I do have someone that's going through that right now, 600 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 1: and it's so hard for them because she's like how 601 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: much they're posting with the kids and doing all these 602 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 1: fun activities, and it's like, yeah, I mean, it's not. Again, 603 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: it's not an easy thing. Even when my kids went 604 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 1: to the beach with you know, their dad, it's like, 605 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 1: it's not an easy thing to miss out on memories 606 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 1: that you were meant to have with them. It's just 607 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,239 Speaker 1: not And no matter how many years have passed, no 608 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 1: matter how happy I am in my new marriage, and 609 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 1: my family. It's still not a easy thing to say 610 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 1: wave goodbye to your kids and not have them on 611 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,880 Speaker 1: every other weekend. It's just not And then to have 612 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 1: them be around somebody else, But you have to just 613 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 1: restructure it and go as long as they are being loved, 614 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: They have the love of you, as is the mother always, 615 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 1: and that is where they'll find the most comfort. But 616 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: to have somebody that's this bonus bonus person around them 617 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,120 Speaker 1: that loves and cares for them, that's all we can 618 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,960 Speaker 1: ask for, is to have someone else that loves on them. 619 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 1: And that's a beautiful thing. Question for you can still 620 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 1: be hard, though you can literally hold both, do you? 621 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,280 Speaker 1: But I will say this really fast though it's like, 622 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 1: but knowing that I will have to rego through that 623 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 1: process again of meeting someone just is again brings up 624 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 1: the I'll have to I'll have to rego through all 625 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 1: those feelings again and remind myself the truth of no, 626 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,360 Speaker 1: they just as long as they love my kids and 627 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 1: they're kind to my kids. It's like, but it is hard, 628 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,360 Speaker 1: and then you go back to that place, is this 629 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: is not this is not normal, this is not how 630 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,440 Speaker 1: it's supposed to be. Do you what are your thoughts 631 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 1: and feelings and maybe even tell me because I don't 632 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:18,839 Speaker 1: know that we've ever talked about this. Actually titles so like, 633 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,960 Speaker 1: do your kids call what are your kids call Alan? 634 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:26,359 Speaker 1: It's mostly Alan, but sometimes they call him dad. Does 635 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,920 Speaker 1: Mike have a feeling he's up? Mike? I mean, he 636 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: spoke about this on the podcast with us three and 637 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, of course, it's it's hard. And I 638 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 1: don't like that. I don't. I mean, that's sorry you 639 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: didn't say I didn't like that. I don't. I don't 640 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 1: know exactly what his quote was, but we did say 641 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:48,319 Speaker 1: it's hard, but he knows that he's he's dad, Like 642 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,080 Speaker 1: the kids will be like Dad, Dad, which is referring 643 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:55,840 Speaker 1: to Mike. And then still again it's it's eighty percent 644 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 1: they call him Alan, okay, but I always wonder they 645 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 1: call him sometimes they call him dad, And I think 646 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,640 Speaker 1: they're doing it more now calling him dad because of Roman. Sure, 647 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. What if they were to call 648 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 1: someone else mom? Again, I think at their age, I 649 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,160 Speaker 1: don't know if they would, but if they did, it 650 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,040 Speaker 1: would crush me. Yeah, it's what I just never even 651 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:23,839 Speaker 1: thought about it. Actually in that step mom yes, that 652 00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:27,480 Speaker 1: would person that would be a step mom as he is. 653 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: But again I think it knowing how little they do 654 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 1: call Alan dad. Yeah, I don't think they would all 655 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 1: someone mom because it's like I'm their mom, you know 656 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,400 Speaker 1: what I mean. Yeah, pretty established. Yeah, and it's pretty 657 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:45,799 Speaker 1: established that Alan is Alan is their stepdad. That makes sense. Yeah, 658 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:50,800 Speaker 1: and Dad Dad's dad. Yeah. So interesting. Yeah, it's wild, 659 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,440 Speaker 1: Like I just can't even I mean, if anyone called 660 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,399 Speaker 1: it anyone else, I would be like, that's incorrect. I'm 661 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,960 Speaker 1: just not I'm not made for this. Yeah. But they 662 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,200 Speaker 1: also strap it in as a mom though. That's the 663 00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:05,760 Speaker 1: thing too, you know, but so to you for my kids, 664 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 1: and I'm they're not going to call you mom, right right. 665 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,080 Speaker 1: I see the other side though, too, where it's I know, 666 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,440 Speaker 1: it's like you're doing the work, you know. It's like 667 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,400 Speaker 1: I've got I've got friends in that that are step moms. 668 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:21,880 Speaker 1: And I think sometimes they call them their name and 669 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 1: sometimes they call them mom and if that is their heart, 670 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,440 Speaker 1: because a mom is a caring but it's the definition 671 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:33,439 Speaker 1: of a mom, a caring, nurturing, nurturing, loving person, if 672 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:39,680 Speaker 1: that is what they want to call them. Yes, interesting 673 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:41,879 Speaker 1: because I've called I actually was just thinking this little 674 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,840 Speaker 1: self reflective like I've called my Pammy that I lost 675 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,759 Speaker 1: my Dallas mom and she was so mom like to me. 676 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:54,880 Speaker 1: And I have never asked my mom how that feels. Yeah, huh, 677 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,960 Speaker 1: but yeah, I guess I've never I mean, but again, 678 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,040 Speaker 1: it's I mean, I could count on one hand probably 679 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 1: how many times they've actually called him dad. Interesting well, 680 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 1: and it's usually like when they've spent you know, when 681 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: we do have the full week, right right? Yeah? Yeah, 682 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,799 Speaker 1: and Alan, does Ellen have a feeling either way? No, 683 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 1: because I mean he's stepdad. Yeah, you know, oh he's 684 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:22,439 Speaker 1: in Yeah, so lug and lunchboxes and say we don't 685 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,279 Speaker 1: I don't correct it. Again, I think it's a lot 686 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 1: to do with Roman. Yeah, because he's saying it. Yeah, Okay, 687 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,840 Speaker 1: I just wondered that never asked. But yeah, that'd be hard, 688 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:37,479 Speaker 1: really hard. Yeah. So and and listen again, I think 689 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,719 Speaker 1: for our listener to go back to the listening. Yeah, 690 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,120 Speaker 1: I just really got off in tangent. I'm like it 691 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:42,840 Speaker 1: putting myself in your places, and I just don't know 692 00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 1: how y'all do. It's not easy, but if but I 693 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 1: would just highlight the fact that your kids are getting 694 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:52,279 Speaker 1: loved one and that you are happier not being in 695 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 1: the marriage with him, and a better version of yourself 696 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,120 Speaker 1: and a better version of yourself. You're a happier mom. 697 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,879 Speaker 1: And it is hard when they're going off and doing 698 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:06,360 Speaker 1: all these fun things and you just it's like, you 699 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,759 Speaker 1: gotta be happy for him. Feel that way about being 700 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 1: married to an artist. You just gotta be happy for him. Yeah. Yeah, 701 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:19,759 Speaker 1: Well on that note, mom, I love you, Mom, kind 702 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:23,719 Speaker 1: of like my mom. You're kidding. Oh, I'm going to 703 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,840 Speaker 1: be your stylist. Get ready to buckle up. You're my sister. 704 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,960 Speaker 1: You are my sister. Yeah, I need you to be 705 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 1: my stylist. You guys, I'm freaking out. Side note, I 706 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:32,759 Speaker 1: don't have a dress for the premiere and I don't 707 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 1: want to spend two thousand dollars for a stylist to 708 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 1: style the style. We found a dress and they're like, 709 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,200 Speaker 1: oh it's too I'm like, I am, we're going to 710 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,920 Speaker 1: do this. I need I Yeah, look at you, You're 711 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,759 Speaker 1: a dream. This is so fun for me. So you're 712 00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,839 Speaker 1: going to be my free stylist. I'm in and she 713 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,480 Speaker 1: can be mad at me. Stylists do they are wonderful 714 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,239 Speaker 1: and honorable and they do really hard work and sometimes too, 715 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,680 Speaker 1: I can find you the dress. Yeah, it's just it's 716 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,360 Speaker 1: like hard to pay that when you don't get to 717 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,160 Speaker 1: keep the dress too, which I don't understand. How big 718 00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,520 Speaker 1: for another time, I don't understand why don't we get 719 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 1: to keep the clothes that you pay for? You you 720 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,960 Speaker 1: pay for their time and their styling. Sure, but what 721 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 1: do you what are they going to do with the clothes? 722 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,800 Speaker 1: Return it back to the the Oh what's a person 723 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:16,320 Speaker 1: called the that makes it designer? Designer? Yeah, I guess 724 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 1: I don't know. But it's just like hard for me 725 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,640 Speaker 1: because I'm just like you know. But it is the 726 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:23,040 Speaker 1: premiere of my movie. And don't forget to tag your 727 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:27,520 Speaker 1: stylust twenty eight. If you get me a dress, I'll 728 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 1: tag you stylist. You don't have to do that, but 729 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,480 Speaker 1: I am pumped to dress you. You're so cute and 730 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,560 Speaker 1: fun for babd get ready, Ladison Gents, your debut and 731 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: my debut all at once. See, when you buy your 732 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 1: dream car, you can't have the stylist, dae. Sometimes sometimes 733 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,360 Speaker 1: it costs has gotta go away. So that is the 734 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,520 Speaker 1: balance of what I'm doing what the what you're wearing 735 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,200 Speaker 1: in your g wagon so I might be riding to 736 00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 1: the premiere in my dream car, in an Amazon do 737 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,400 Speaker 1: or in an Amazon outfit. Oh, we're going to handle this, 738 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:02,200 Speaker 1: not just saying that is that is what life is about. Balance, 739 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:10,560 Speaker 1: That's right. I love you, baby. Bye.