Speaker 1: Hey, Erica, hit up with the intro. Hell I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating with the Ungler and I Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm going to handle the intro today. Hello everyone, Hello, welcome.
Speaker 1: Why is your finger up? Erica? I'm just getting Jared
Speaker 1: to run down? Sorry, Okay, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: tuning into this week's episode of help I Suck at Dating.
Speaker 1: One of us does not suck at dating anymore. We're
Speaker 1: dropping like flies over here. Welcome back from your honeymoon, Jared,
Speaker 1: how thank you Hawaii. It was great man. So we
Speaker 1: stay at the Rich Carlton, the Ritz Carlton. We're not
Speaker 1: We're not getting paid by the Ris Carlton. That's where
Speaker 1: we stayed. Dude. It was awesome. So we left Thursday,
Speaker 1: got the Thursday night, stayed four nights. It was amazing.
Speaker 1: We legitimately did not leave the resort. My like the
Speaker 1: cool thing is actually and I are in the same
Speaker 1: page about what we enjoy on vacation, which is laying
Speaker 1: by the pool, going to the beach, going to the
Speaker 1: beach and love you can't speak staying on the resort,
Speaker 1: uh and just like going out to dinner there, ordering
Speaker 1: room service and it's the best weekend ever, Oh, that
Speaker 1: sounds like my worst singing. It was the best to
Speaker 1: each other singing songs to each other. We actually watched
Speaker 1: Jerry McGuire in the hotel room one night. We ended
Speaker 1: up ordering room services sustaining and we're like, let's watch
Speaker 1: rom Com and we always quote Jeremy McGuire. That was
Speaker 1: like one of the first things we bonded about. I
Speaker 1: think that's one of the first reasons actually like to
Speaker 1: show me the money, show me the money. Well I quoted.
Speaker 1: I forget what line I quoted, but it was a
Speaker 1: random line from Jerem McGuire, And she's like, you know
Speaker 1: Jerry McGuire And I was like, yeah, I love that movie.
Speaker 1: And so we always kind of joke around about that.
Speaker 1: So we're like, we have to watch it together. So
Speaker 1: we ended up watching it together in Hawaii. Wait, what
Speaker 1: was that song you guys were singing to each other?
Speaker 1: I was dying. I think if we pleaded it like
Speaker 1: five times, which song when you're like singing? I sang too.
Speaker 1: So the first day it was she was like what.
Speaker 1: I was like, what kind of music do you want
Speaker 1: to listen to? Because playing Pandora next to the beach,
Speaker 1: she's like, let's listen a Ron Thomas so lonely no
Speaker 1: no more came on? So of course I'm going to
Speaker 1: serenader because Rob Thomas wasn't that one? Uh no? And
Speaker 1: then I sang and so I sang girlfriends Why. It
Speaker 1: was about that time that I had to unfollowed both. Jared,
Speaker 1: I do not blame you one bit, but the response
Speaker 1: from when we came out has been nothing short of
Speaker 1: let's talk about let's talk about that for a minute.
Speaker 1: So it's been pretty much exactly a week since we've
Speaker 1: announced the relationship of you and actually right, and it
Speaker 1: seems like everyone is just enamored with everything, which is great,
Speaker 1: and that's the response that you would have hoped for.
Speaker 1: How has it changed your relationship dynamic? I mean, obviously,
Speaker 1: like it's hard because you're still in this very much
Speaker 1: honeyman phase. You guys basically literally were just in why
Speaker 1: But does it feel like a weight has been lifted
Speaker 1: off your shoulders? Do you feel more comfortable with anything?
Speaker 1: Has anything changed in that like just between the two
Speaker 1: of you know, I don't think anything has changed between
Speaker 1: the two of us, um for the past couple of
Speaker 1: months since we've been dating. It's been incredible, and we
Speaker 1: keep falling in love more and more every day, and
Speaker 1: it just continue to do that over the weekend even
Speaker 1: with being out. The only differences is now, um, obviously
Speaker 1: we can post on social media together, which is cool.
Speaker 1: I can show off my girlfriend. And then other than that,
Speaker 1: like that girlfriend and girlfriend. I know, it's it's nice
Speaker 1: being like, yeah, my girlfriend, That's what we always called
Speaker 1: each other. We're just like, she's like my boyfriend, like
Speaker 1: my girlfriend. So yeah, I know everybody's gonna throw up
Speaker 1: in their mouth. But but but other than that, no,
Speaker 1: nothing's really changed. Like we'll read comments because everybody has
Speaker 1: been so overly nice and supportive of everything. Comments no
Speaker 1: comments on Ashley's picks. Actually got about comments. Yeah, on
Speaker 1: the first picture and I got about comments. It was insane.
Speaker 1: I've never experienced anything like that, even being on the show. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever experienced anything like I did
Speaker 1: last week. Why do you think that is? I mean,
Speaker 1: I honestly have no idea. Well, obviously, so everyone's been
Speaker 1: kind of following years an actually story to some extent
Speaker 1: since Paradise season two fifteen. Holy is that crazy? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I met Ashley almost three years ago. Because it was
Speaker 1: early June. Yeah, Paradise season too. When she walked down
Speaker 1: the stairs with aren't first time ever met? I would
Speaker 1: I would have ventured to say, and like, obviously we
Speaker 1: can't use instagram metrics to valid like anything like that,
Speaker 1: but I would say that the picture that actually posted
Speaker 1: a you two is the most liked picture that any
Speaker 1: Bachelor contestant it has ever posted. I'm not basing that
Speaker 1: on foundation whatsoever, but I think it's got to be true.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's the most like it's it's up there.
Speaker 1: But I think the difference is is that we just
Speaker 1: it's crazy to think we just posted it online that's
Speaker 1: how this is. We weren't. I mean, obviously we've been
Speaker 1: on shows, but this wasn't coming from a show. We
Speaker 1: started dating off the show and it was very real
Speaker 1: and very genuine, and and then we just posted on
Speaker 1: our social media pages that were together. We came out
Speaker 1: with the story of us, so we could just pretty
Speaker 1: much explain in one sitting everything that kind of happened.
Speaker 1: And then it just exploded and then yeah, that was
Speaker 1: That was a crazy day because I was really nervous
Speaker 1: when we announced because I didn't know how people were
Speaker 1: going to react. I don't even know if people were
Speaker 1: going to react, and I remember the entire day I
Speaker 1: was thinking, I don't even know if anybody's gonna really care,
Speaker 1: and I don't blame them, but then it just exploded.
Speaker 1: I think people like you and Ashley and then you
Speaker 1: guys together as a couple. It's just like And I
Speaker 1: also think nobody just ever saw this coming and that
Speaker 1: I think that's the other thing, if I'm being honest,
Speaker 1: I think that was the other factor as well, that
Speaker 1: when we posted we were together, people are like, what, like,
Speaker 1: we need to know everything, how the hell did this happen?
Speaker 1: And people and and so um, it's it's been nothing
Speaker 1: short of um of incredible. I know I keep using
Speaker 1: that word, but um, It's something that I've never experienced before.
Speaker 1: And I'm very grateful for everything that's come from it,
Speaker 1: because everybody's just been so supportive, and I've done so
Speaker 1: many tweets and comments about how people are like, I
Speaker 1: believe in love again. And while that creates a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure, I it doesn't really phase me because I'm
Speaker 1: completely in love with Ashley and I see myself spending
Speaker 1: the rest of my life with her. And so like,
Speaker 1: it's nice that people comment on us and say, you guys,
Speaker 1: are you guys? Are you guys have had your ups?
Speaker 1: You guys have had your downs. Um, Jared, you've been
Speaker 1: an idiot for a long time, which I have been
Speaker 1: and um, and it's nice for people to be like,
Speaker 1: but it's real. You guys are real, And so that's
Speaker 1: the biggest call. I think the hope that it gives
Speaker 1: me is because I'm very black and white in relationships, Like,
Speaker 1: once it's over, it's over. I'm not turning back. But
Speaker 1: what this gives me is a hope that there are
Speaker 1: second chances. That's what the big thing for me. I'm
Speaker 1: just kidding. I do think that because it did kind
Speaker 1: of come out of nowhere to the lesser informed. Obviously
Speaker 1: Vanessa and I and everyone that's kind of close to
Speaker 1: you guys knew what was going on all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. But I do think logistically the way that
Speaker 1: it was handled where you guys you have to announce it,
Speaker 1: but you posted each other on your Instagram basically announcing it.
Speaker 1: But before you did that, the story of us kind
Speaker 1: of caught everyone up with what you guys have been
Speaker 1: up to over the past year because you don't have
Speaker 1: the I don't want to call it a luxury, but
Speaker 1: you don't have the opportunity to go on a TV
Speaker 1: show again too. Then like kind of let the story unfold,
Speaker 1: so you kind of were able to sit down with
Speaker 1: the forty five minute video and be like, this is
Speaker 1: the story of us. Funny enough because that's the title
Speaker 1: of the show. But then not only that, because you
Speaker 1: described the is two years of paradise, but then you
Speaker 1: also caught everyone up over the past six months or so,
Speaker 1: which every which is where most of the stuff kind
Speaker 1: of started to take shape exactly, and which is what
Speaker 1: everybody wanted to know of, Like Ashley was just on
Speaker 1: Winter Games and she left with somebody, and then obviously
Speaker 1: they broke up, but like what how did this happen?
Speaker 1: And obviously, you know, Ashley and I wanted to just
Speaker 1: date also for a couple of months and and and
Speaker 1: keep it quiet for the simple fact that we really
Speaker 1: just wanted to work on us and we didn't want
Speaker 1: to start dating and immediately post that we were together
Speaker 1: because we knew no matter how big or little that
Speaker 1: announcement would have, um you know, created um we it
Speaker 1: was important to us just to really focus on each
Speaker 1: other and have no outstanding, you know, exterior pressure, and
Speaker 1: really just work to develop this relationship. And that's what
Speaker 1: we did, and and I'm so glad we did because
Speaker 1: we were able to really, um, we've already had a
Speaker 1: strong foundation, but we were able to create a stronger
Speaker 1: foundation and open side, open a different side of our
Speaker 1: relationship that we never explored and we're able to explore
Speaker 1: on our own without any exterior pressure. Do you think
Speaker 1: that your relationship, again, it's only a week since the
Speaker 1: anouncement where it will refer to us, do you think
Speaker 1: that the relationship has strengthened day after day or is
Speaker 1: it consist the announcement just like and just maybe the
Speaker 1: past week to the week before announcing it, like, do
Speaker 1: you think there's a difference at all or do you
Speaker 1: think it's just it's great to have the um blessings
Speaker 1: of everyone. And it's crazy too because you guys announced
Speaker 1: it and the people like myself included, I think Vanessa
Speaker 1: as well, and people that don't even live in California
Speaker 1: aren't even like physically close to us. We're posting like
Speaker 1: showing the Chris Harrison posted. We woke up the next
Speaker 1: morning and actually was like, Chris Harrison just posted a
Speaker 1: picture of us, and we're geeking out, like we don't
Speaker 1: know him, but um he posted the picture that actually
Speaker 1: posted and he said, I'm Chris Harrison and this message's
Speaker 1: adorable thing. And and it just really meant a lot
Speaker 1: to us. It's people that you don't and I just
Speaker 1: on a daily basis, still showing their support that you
Speaker 1: know personally, like that you're friends with, like of course
Speaker 1: you like a Tanner or Jade, I think they supported it. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: Tanner is our far fairy godfather. If you watch the
Speaker 1: story of us, you will understand that reference. And um,
Speaker 1: excuse me, Yeah, Tanner posted, and you posted, and Becca
Speaker 1: posting the amount of uh and Nick posted Vanessa and UM.
Speaker 1: A lot of the producers that obviously are are close friends, UM,
Speaker 1: and just people that have meant so much to us,
Speaker 1: UM over the years, our and our friendships. It's just
Speaker 1: it's so nice to have the blessing of our friends.
Speaker 1: That is a huge factor as well. And obviously we're
Speaker 1: very grateful that we had that even before the announcement,
Speaker 1: before we even came out and said we're together. You know,
Speaker 1: the past couple of months I've we've been dating. Every
Speaker 1: everybody's just been like, you guys are great together, and
Speaker 1: it means the world tost you news. I feel like
Speaker 1: once a day posted something, he didn't. They post something
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago, they posted yesterday they said
Speaker 1: it was the cute. It's thank you, you know as
Speaker 1: they said. Um so they reposted the video of me
Speaker 1: sing and girlfriend to Ashley serenading her, and they said,
Speaker 1: even though the Bachelorette starts tonight, these two get our
Speaker 1: final roads and uh apparently she They tweeted also over
Speaker 1: the weekend they were like a PDA filled weekend of
Speaker 1: you know, Ashley and Jared and Hawaii. And I don't
Speaker 1: think it was that pa I mean, I guess I
Speaker 1: was kissing a lot, but I just I guess maybe
Speaker 1: came from nothing to everything. I guess maybe that there
Speaker 1: was no slow transition to it. It was like boom,
Speaker 1: exactly fast. Were you guys like completely hiding it in public?
Speaker 1: Like you wouldn't hold hands in public. We went to
Speaker 1: stage a couple of weeks ago, was so funny, I
Speaker 1: forget what you see. We were totally we don't get
Speaker 1: did not come out then? Honestly, we don't well. I
Speaker 1: think the big factor was that Ashley and I have
Speaker 1: been so close for so long that the idea of
Speaker 1: us hanging out together has never been weird at all.
Speaker 1: We've always hung out together, We've always gone places together,
Speaker 1: We've been seen in public together for the past three years,
Speaker 1: and so when people see us out in public, they
Speaker 1: probably just yet it's Ashley and Jared hanging out. And
Speaker 1: it was only two of the you know, people would
Speaker 1: come up and I'm you know, holding her hand or
Speaker 1: kissing her, and people are like, WHOA, what's going on?
Speaker 1: Are you guys? Are you guys together? But over the
Speaker 1: stage coach weekend we were not hiding it, and Dean,
Speaker 1: you said something so funny. I wish I could remember.
Speaker 1: We were like, you were talking about us and you guys, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys are adorable. But it also makes me throw
Speaker 1: up in my mouth, and it still does. But I
Speaker 1: love it. Well, I don't love to throw up. That
Speaker 1: gives me. Um. What do you guys think about the
Speaker 1: couple names Joshley because that's kind of stuck with you
Speaker 1: for a couple of years. Joshuley was created back in
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise season two, um, because obviously, whenever you're
Speaker 1: on a show, everybody gets your nickname if you're a couple. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, ve nick Na, Nickessa. Okay, I don't don't
Speaker 1: there was one. I don't think we had a name,
Speaker 1: big fan here, you know, I don't remember there being
Speaker 1: I don't think you're had a name. There's no way.
Speaker 1: I don't think we had a name. It is hard
Speaker 1: to combine Vanessa and nick though, but Nissa's kind of
Speaker 1: like it's very exotic. I like that anyway. Joshually you
Speaker 1: like it? Yeah, I like Josh Ley. Sure, whatever, it's great,
Speaker 1: it's phenomenal. What about yours? What was yours? I've had
Speaker 1: a talking about this, So what was yours name? And yours?
Speaker 1: And Christina is on? I'm paradised. Chris dena Christine that's
Speaker 1: a really good one. Was Dan Yelle, and then it
Speaker 1: was Lesdian Lesdian, Lestian lesbian Lean. Oh. I'm sorry, but
Speaker 1: I pronounced it Lestian because it's just funny that way.
Speaker 1: I'm my favorite. Christina. That's great. Christina works, It certainly works.
Speaker 1: What about Mr Ia Cokenetti? How do we feel about that?
Speaker 1: That's hilarious? Okay, that was the best tweet I've ever had,
Speaker 1: simply by the fact that Sean and Tan are all
Speaker 1: posted this. Over the weekend, we went to the resort
Speaker 1: and they're like Mr and Mrs Haven and Ashley and
Speaker 1: I just looked at each other and we're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that works. And so after that though, for the entire weekend,
Speaker 1: it was Mr. Eichnetti Mr. Eichnetti, and I just stopped
Speaker 1: correcting them because I kind of found it adorable that
Speaker 1: they were coined me Mr. Eikenetti because I always joke
Speaker 1: with Ashley about how she kind of wears the pants
Speaker 1: a little bit in the relationship, and so I'm like,
Speaker 1: I might as well just take your last name. Obviously,
Speaker 1: she's going to take my last name, you know, when
Speaker 1: we get married, because I said over the entire weekend,
Speaker 1: I'm always kind of a pessimist, and I kept saying,
Speaker 1: you know, if we have kids one day, if we
Speaker 1: get married, and she's like, what are you talking about
Speaker 1: with this? If when? And I was like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, you're absolutely right, but wa wait, so you're
Speaker 1: not open at all taking Ashley's last name when you
Speaker 1: get married. She wants to take my last name, it's
Speaker 1: Ashley high bond. Yeah, which is let's not talk about
Speaker 1: that right now, we're talking about what talking What do
Speaker 1: you mean if Jared that's the thing. But she's absolutely
Speaker 1: right though, because you know, I plan on spend you know,
Speaker 1: marrying Ashlyn. So the idea of me saying if I
Speaker 1: was thinking more about it was ridiculous. I've just always
Speaker 1: done that. I've always never kind of really projected into
Speaker 1: the future. I've been always scared to do that. But
Speaker 1: at this point I really should so get the Mr
Speaker 1: i Connetians in while we can, because soon enough it'll
Speaker 1: go back to Mr and Mrs High Band. Obviously not soon,
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, but it's so funny when I tweeted
Speaker 1: and I said, people, you know, the entire weekend people
Speaker 1: are calling me Mr i Keneddian. I'm weirdly okay with
Speaker 1: it because then Sean shan Booth, who is obviously with
Speaker 1: Caitlyn Bristow they're engaged, He's like it used to have Bud.
Speaker 1: I've been called Mr Bristow over the last three years
Speaker 1: at every hotel we've gone to. And then Jordan Rodgers
Speaker 1: tweeted and he was like, yeah, Mr Fletcher has the
Speaker 1: same problem over here. And then Tanner tweeted and he's
Speaker 1: like Mr Roper has been trying to call in for
Speaker 1: late check out for the past three years, and he's
Speaker 1: starting to get piste off. I didn't see Tanner's but
Speaker 1: that's funny. It's great. So, now that you're in a relationship, yes,
Speaker 1: do you still feel like you're mentally equipped to be
Speaker 1: a co host of this podcast? Of course there are things,
Speaker 1: right that used to be three people that sucked at dating.
Speaker 1: I would venture to say that one of those people
Speaker 1: does not suck at dating anymore suck. There are still
Speaker 1: many things within our relationship that I could do a
Speaker 1: lot better at I could become a up here, such
Speaker 1: as uh, I, well, that's a great question. I think
Speaker 1: I haven't really thought about it in all honesty. And
Speaker 1: I guarantee you if we got actually in here, which
Speaker 1: one of these days, of course, we'd love to have
Speaker 1: a four. But she would say there's absolutely nothing that
Speaker 1: Jared does wrong. I'm sure right like she has because
Speaker 1: we've talked about this before, about like things that I
Speaker 1: can do better, you know, to make her feel more
Speaker 1: comfortable or or loved or so on and so forth,
Speaker 1: And she's said the same things to me, and she
Speaker 1: hasn't really critiqued me all that much. Also for the
Speaker 1: simple fact that I am. I. I I try to give
Speaker 1: her as much confident as possible. Um. And so I
Speaker 1: do love p d A. And I'm always kissing her
Speaker 1: and I'm always telling how wonderful she is. But it
Speaker 1: also comes from a part of me that is so
Speaker 1: grateful that I have Ashley in my life. Um. Were
Speaker 1: you always big on p d A. Yeah, I remember.
Speaker 1: I told actually a couple of years ago how physical
Speaker 1: touch is a very important part of the relationship for me.
Speaker 1: And she was like, you're out of your mind because
Speaker 1: you don't touch anybody. And then over the past couple
Speaker 1: of months she was like, you were a spot on.
Speaker 1: You are very touchy, didn't kissy and uh. And so
Speaker 1: that is that makes me feel really good that I
Speaker 1: know myself at least a little bit. Um. But of
Speaker 1: course there's things that I can work on. There are
Speaker 1: a lot of things that I need to work on
Speaker 1: with in our relationship, um, to become a you know,
Speaker 1: a better partner, a better boyfriend, and hopefully one day
Speaker 1: a better husband. Since you brought it up to you
Speaker 1: think that your love languages are compatible your physical touch
Speaker 1: and what else would you say? Yes, because she is
Speaker 1: very much on physical touch as well, and so I
Speaker 1: am always holding her hand or kissing her, kissing her arm,
Speaker 1: or just making her feel confident. And that's it's a
Speaker 1: big factor for both of us. UM. Words of affirmation
Speaker 1: or is something that we're both very big on. UM.
Speaker 1: I tell her UH a lot how much I love
Speaker 1: her and care about her, UM because it makes me
Speaker 1: very happy. UM, and our love languages are very compatible.
Speaker 1: She does a lot of access service UM, which is
Speaker 1: very endearing and UM something that means a lot to
Speaker 1: me as well. Quality time is very big for us.
Speaker 1: We make sure that we spend a lot of time
Speaker 1: together UM, and not just you know, being in the
Speaker 1: same room together, but making sure that we are UM
Speaker 1: quality time exactly. There's a difference between spending time with
Speaker 1: someone and spending quality time with somebody and UM, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes our schedules can get very busy, especially in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: so we make sure, UM that we always try to
Speaker 1: spend as much quality time as we can and not
Speaker 1: just like, hey, how's your day, good, Okay, let's go
Speaker 1: to bed. It's like no, Like I make sure that
Speaker 1: the first thing as you In the morning, I try
Speaker 1: to make sure that I say good morning and kissed
Speaker 1: her before I even check my phone, because I know
Speaker 1: that's just like a little something, but it changes the
Speaker 1: day because I remember, um, yeah, I just I know
Speaker 1: how much meaning that has, And so I try to
Speaker 1: actively do that every day without checking my phone. Like
Speaker 1: I'll roll over because her say good morning, and then
Speaker 1: check my phone. Who's the big spoon? All on the
Speaker 1: big spoon every night? I yeah, every night. I can't
Speaker 1: be a little spoon. I don't like the feeling of
Speaker 1: a lot of guys like little yeah. Yeah, I've just
Speaker 1: never been one of those guys. Like sometimes, of course
Speaker 1: it's it's fun if I like cut all up next
Speaker 1: to her and she has her arm around me, But
Speaker 1: I've never been in the position of actual little spoon.
Speaker 1: I like, I like to be the dominant presence. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I like being the big spoon. What's great about
Speaker 1: your guys relationship too, is obviously you're weirdly in this
Speaker 1: honeymoon phase even though you guys have known each other
Speaker 1: for so long. But I feel like a lot of
Speaker 1: couples will fizzle because they get introduced to the honeymoon
Speaker 1: phase two early. But I think what you guys have
Speaker 1: working in your favors for sure is the fact that
Speaker 1: you guys have such a good foundation. I know you
Speaker 1: always say this whenever you talk about the relationships. You
Speaker 1: guys have been best friends for the past three years,
Speaker 1: and so this honeymoon phase is basically just kind of
Speaker 1: icing on the cake for you because you know you're
Speaker 1: getting this positive support and attention from you know, friends
Speaker 1: and whoever else has been kind of following along with
Speaker 1: your story. But you also know once that dies down,
Speaker 1: you still have the friendship and the great relationship that
Speaker 1: you guys have together to fall back on. Yeah, of
Speaker 1: course we have created such a strong foundation based off
Speaker 1: of this, you know, based off our friendship, that the
Speaker 1: relationship aspect of our lives now has just blossom to
Speaker 1: become this honeymoon phase that of course, one day you
Speaker 1: know it will fizzle out. But the important thing is
Speaker 1: there's nobody I'd rather hang out with than actually, Like,
Speaker 1: not only are we boyfriend girlfriend and I'm in love
Speaker 1: with her, but there's a common team baby um, but
Speaker 1: also I just love spending time with her, and even
Speaker 1: it was so interesting this past weekend, I went to
Speaker 1: her place last Wednesday, stay the night. We left on Thursday,
Speaker 1: so I've been with her and then I left this morning. Um,
Speaker 1: I stayed over last night, left this morning and that
Speaker 1: was the first time this morning I hadn't seen her
Speaker 1: since Wednesday night. And we both looked at each other
Speaker 1: and we were like, we don't get sick of seeing
Speaker 1: each other. We've known each other for three years, and
Speaker 1: even yeah, I was leaving this morning, I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave, Like I just don't. But
Speaker 1: we both were having that feeling. It was like that's
Speaker 1: when you know you have something really special when you
Speaker 1: can spend six days straight with somebody, go on vacation
Speaker 1: and not even be like I kind of just need
Speaker 1: a little breather. It's like, no, I don't want to
Speaker 1: leave you. And so that was something that we've always known,
Speaker 1: but this morning kind of just reaffirmed it a little bit.
Speaker 1: I saw that you did a little bachelor Yeah, so, um,
Speaker 1: when we were in Hawaii, let me get the name
Speaker 1: because I want to give a shout out to them
Speaker 1: because they were so wonderful. There was this Instagram handle
Speaker 1: that reached out to me that does picnics um and
Speaker 1: her name is her Instagram handle is Lucy soul Shine
Speaker 1: Creations and what they do she just created this company
Speaker 1: in Hawaii and they do picnics. So it's called pop
Speaker 1: up Picnics. And it was fantastic and they bring like
Speaker 1: exoga fruits and champagne. It's literally like a bachelor date
Speaker 1: and they kind of set it up for you, so
Speaker 1: there's like towels and rugs and pillows and so you
Speaker 1: can just and there's a little umbrella. So I put
Speaker 1: together this little picnic for Ashley and we went there
Speaker 1: was the only time we left the resort, and we
Speaker 1: walked five minutes because it was just on the beach
Speaker 1: over and so we walked up and it felt like
Speaker 1: we were walking to a bachelor day because she didn't
Speaker 1: really know what was going on. I was holding her
Speaker 1: hand and was like, Okay, we're just gonna go down
Speaker 1: this way and down the stairs. No I do, come on,
Speaker 1: And that's a little bit too. At the end of
Speaker 1: the date, no roses even Yeah, the second it's the
Speaker 1: cutest thing I've ever witnessed. But on the picnic day,
Speaker 1: we walked down and she was great, and this this woman,
Speaker 1: Lucy put together this little picnic area for us, so
Speaker 1: we sat down and took pictures. We just had some
Speaker 1: champagne and had some fruit and crackers and cheese right
Speaker 1: on the beach, and it was this beautiful little moment
Speaker 1: that we had and it was great and I'm glad
Speaker 1: I was able to put it together. So thank you
Speaker 1: Lucy so much for putting that together. If you ever
Speaker 1: want to pop up picnic if you're in Maui, hopefully
Speaker 1: maybe she'll expand, um, but right now, if you're ever
Speaker 1: in Maui and looking for like a little date, a
Speaker 1: special date thing to do, um, totally look up Lucy's.
Speaker 1: Uh the god, I've already forgotten the Instagram, but it's picnics,
Speaker 1: pop up picnics. I'm sure if you google it was fantasis.
Speaker 1: So I put that together for and then on the
Speaker 1: ride home, we got on United. So we're flying United
Speaker 1: Airlines and so we're waiting and then the flight attendant
Speaker 1: at the gate came up and she said, you guys
Speaker 1: want a board early, and we were like, um, sure,
Speaker 1: if you don't mind, that would be great. So we
Speaker 1: were like, she must be a bachelor friend and she's
Speaker 1: very sweet. So we were the first ones to board
Speaker 1: the plane and we get on and first of all,
Speaker 1: we're in rows. We're in rows thirty five and I
Speaker 1: have a middle seat. So we're walking. We're the only
Speaker 1: ones on the plane. I'm walking all the way back
Speaker 1: to the plane, and then we see these two roses
Speaker 1: attached to our seats with little notes, and these two
Speaker 1: flight attendants who are laughing hysterically and like, what the
Speaker 1: hell is this? So we walk up and they put
Speaker 1: little roses on our seats with little notes that says
Speaker 1: Jared and naturally will you accept these roses? And the
Speaker 1: sweetest thing. And it made my middle seat back to
Speaker 1: Los Angeles so much more enjoyable. Six hour meddal seed
Speaker 1: because I was like, how could I possibly ever be mad?
Speaker 1: And almost made it better the fact that they had
Speaker 1: to put our roses. We were thirty five, I was
Speaker 1: doing the middle seat. It wasn't even like we had
Speaker 1: first class. It just made it so much more real.
Speaker 1: It was great. I mean, as a couple that got
Speaker 1: engaged the Bachelor, I never got that specialty. That's why
Speaker 1: this entire experience has it just been so overwhelmed because,
Speaker 1: like like I said, I've never experienced anything like this,
Speaker 1: and so it's been just you can talk about this
Speaker 1: for days. Oh I could, I could tell, of course
Speaker 1: I could. I'm just giddy about it. And so it's
Speaker 1: very easy to talk about because I just left Hawaii
Speaker 1: with Ashley and we had the greatest time. We just
Speaker 1: hung by the pool, hung by the beach, drank eight uh,
Speaker 1: maybe kissed a couple of times. And uh, did you
Speaker 1: guys see Ashley's tweet about on Sunday night? We were
Speaker 1: were such idiots. We were my Mike keeps going in,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Um, we were recreating the dirty dancing scene. Um.
Speaker 1: And so it's so stupid. Um. And so we're dancing
Speaker 1: in the room, not too hungry eyes that's what it was,
Speaker 1: um like hungry ey. Okay, well, well anyway, not time
Speaker 1: of your life, but the other one. And so and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, we like heard the poor
Speaker 1: little maid. She was like, excuse me, excuse me, knock knock,
Speaker 1: as we're like dancing. And then so it's very embarrassing
Speaker 1: because she walked in on us dancing in our bedroom,
Speaker 1: fully clothed, like we were just having fun. But and
Speaker 1: then actually tweeters like, you know, some couples get walked
Speaker 1: in by the you know, the housemaids having sex and
Speaker 1: we get walked in recreating a dans from Dirty Dancing,
Speaker 1: And so that's kind of the story of our lives.
Speaker 1: We love you guys, and very different world, Dean. How's
Speaker 1: your dating life in a very different world? Everything for
Speaker 1: the past twenty minutes, whatever the opposite of that is
Speaker 1: is right now. And that's literally all I can say
Speaker 1: about it, because there's just it's just taking time for yourself.
Speaker 1: I've gone on a few dates. Oh really, get myself
Speaker 1: back out. They fine, you know, casual, nothing too crazy.
Speaker 1: Did you meet these people mutual friends? Which is the
Speaker 1: only way that I'll ever do at this point. You
Speaker 1: won't go to dating a No, I will never go
Speaker 1: on a dating app Interest, So you're not on like
Speaker 1: Rya or I would never go on a dating app.
Speaker 1: I used to be on dat. Listen, I said I've
Speaker 1: never going with the Bachelor, and I did never say never. Yeah,
Speaker 1: never say never. But I do feel bad that well,
Speaker 1: I don't feel bad. I don't want to take away
Speaker 1: from Jared's spotlight right now. I like listening to Jared
Speaker 1: talk about this romance that he has had over the
Speaker 1: past week. Sorry, I could talk for days. You keep
Speaker 1: going and the more you talk, the less we have
Speaker 1: to talk. Um. No, my dating life has been pretty
Speaker 1: pretty lack luster, and that's kind of the way that
Speaker 1: I wanted to be, you know, I just playing it
Speaker 1: slow and cook for yourself. I had I cooked some
Speaker 1: stakes this past weekend. I was actually this past weekend,
Speaker 1: I was weirdly like I had a body cold, but
Speaker 1: like I wasn't congested or anything but my head like
Speaker 1: migraines and aches and pains. So I didn't really do
Speaker 1: anything for the memorial the weekend, but I stayed home
Speaker 1: and cooked a bunch of steaks and hamburgers for myself
Speaker 1: and for my roommates. And honestly, I don't know so Jared,
Speaker 1: I know, has had these Omaha steaks. They sent me
Speaker 1: and Jared a box each. There my dad's favorite steaks
Speaker 1: in the world. They were really good. So what I
Speaker 1: wasn't expecting was how much food came in the box.
Speaker 1: So I thought everything out because I send it basically
Speaker 1: in this big, cool styrofoam box with dry ice um
Speaker 1: frozen meat like it's like burgers, rib eyes, um lamb
Speaker 1: veal bis and all that kind of stuff. And I
Speaker 1: thought it all at the same time, thinking like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just have a bunch of friends over and we we
Speaker 1: can cook it all and eat it all together. But
Speaker 1: my friends are all out celebrating, celebrating Memorial Day. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just gonna cook it all for myself,
Speaker 1: not um. And it was delicious. Like like I said,
Speaker 1: there's so much it was. It was pork, there was veal,
Speaker 1: there was lamb, there was bison. Um. I ate myself
Speaker 1: into a food coma which was which was incredible, exactly
Speaker 1: what I needed because again I wasn't feeling very good.
Speaker 1: But if you guys want to check out Omaha Sticks,
Speaker 1: they're giving a limited time offer to our listeners for
Speaker 1: Father's Day. I think Jared said his father is a
Speaker 1: big fan of Ohas. Oh my god, he loves him.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm getting him like four boxes for five day.
Speaker 1: He's I'm gonna be the best son in the world. Well,
Speaker 1: and you can get seventy eight percent off on those
Speaker 1: boxes Omaha Steaks dot com and type in Dean D
Speaker 1: E A N in the search bar. Not in there's
Speaker 1: not a promo code. It's like the one of those
Speaker 1: little search bar thing you So check it out. Omaha
Speaker 1: Steaks dot Com. You get what is it? All of
Speaker 1: this stuff included in one box? Am I reading this right?
Speaker 1: It says two tender flame MiG nawns, too beefy tops,
Speaker 1: thir Larns, four fried chicken sticks which I thought were fantastic,
Speaker 1: to bonus pork chops. I could keep going. The list
Speaker 1: is I don't want to waste too much of your
Speaker 1: tasty um. You get some free Omaha Steak burgers with
Speaker 1: your purchase as well, and I think it only comes
Speaker 1: It only costs you about when you get all of
Speaker 1: this together. Maha Steaks dot com if you use code Dean,
Speaker 1: so don't wait. This offer end soon. Go to Omaha
Speaker 1: Steaks dot Com use the code Dean in the search bar,
Speaker 1: Grab your dad and fire up the grill. Jared, I
Speaker 1: know you're probably gonna be back in Rhde Island for
Speaker 1: Father's Day. For that right, I'm not gonna be back
Speaker 1: for Father's Day. Unfortunately I haven't sent to uh to
Speaker 1: my house, so which is great, which is even better
Speaker 1: that way? He gets the package. Surprised, YEA, what was
Speaker 1: the one for Mother's Day? It was the Sherry Harry
Speaker 1: Berry's Baby Day Steaks for fathers. This is the version
Speaker 1: of Sherry Burry's Father's Day. Omaha, steaks, gotta get them.
Speaker 1: That's fantastic. Vanessa, we didn't talk about your dating life. Yeah, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: how's your dating life going? About my dating life? Let's
Speaker 1: tell us about it. So actually so far for the listeners,
Speaker 1: just a little preface. We'll probably touch on this at
Speaker 1: the end of the podcast as well. But Vanessa is
Speaker 1: traveling back to Montreal for the summer to tomorrow. We're
Speaker 1: gonna which we haven't necessarily discussed the full on logistics
Speaker 1: of how we're going to handle that. I think it
Speaker 1: might be all in or going to like a studio
Speaker 1: in Montreal. I don't know. We haven't figured that part out,
Speaker 1: but figured it out. We have to figure it out.
Speaker 1: So great because last we heard, you were still dating
Speaker 1: this guy. So yeah, it's just it's right now. It's
Speaker 1: a little bit of a long distance thing. And I'm
Speaker 1: not a post a long distance at all. I love
Speaker 1: long distance and I love long distance relationships. But it's
Speaker 1: fun because you get to see each other and it's
Speaker 1: and it's nice and you know, you get to have
Speaker 1: like some time apart um. But I don't know we'll see.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not putting any pressure on it, because
Speaker 1: I'm someone who like dives deep into a relationship as
Speaker 1: soon as I like someone. So I'm falling in love
Speaker 1: with the things that you don't know about a person.
Speaker 1: What do you mean? I feel like I'm kind of
Speaker 1: guilty of that. What do you mean falling in love
Speaker 1: with things you don't know When you don't know so
Speaker 1: much about someone you can kind of fill in the
Speaker 1: blanks for yourself of what you think they might be.
Speaker 1: And then you said, like falling in love with the
Speaker 1: idea of it, like breast people who's asking? I was
Speaker 1: just kind of like, you know, I think listen. I
Speaker 1: have a tendency of romanticizing a relationship and being like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, he's gonna be a great father. He
Speaker 1: has this, and instead of like actually looking at um
Speaker 1: why things could possibly work out versus why things could
Speaker 1: possibly not work out. You know, I have a tendency
Speaker 1: to be like this, this is the this is the one,
Speaker 1: instead of actually taking my time to date them slow.
Speaker 1: It's weird because I don't know how to date someone.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to date multiple people at the
Speaker 1: same time. Like if I like you. I'm going to
Speaker 1: date you, and I will not have I don't want
Speaker 1: to have any other options of dating other people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were talking about the podcast you focus on one
Speaker 1: person and then if it doesn't work. But I don't know,
Speaker 1: like maybe I should change my ways because apparently it's
Speaker 1: not been working out for me. Not to not to
Speaker 1: shift gears too quickly or anything like that. But let's
Speaker 1: talk Bachelortte for one second. I'm sure we all watched
Speaker 1: the episode. I know of Jared and I obviously watched
Speaker 1: it and has to watch it last night as well. Yes,
Speaker 1: what do what are just initial thoughts maybe like a
Speaker 1: couple of minutes on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait I
Speaker 1: wrote some notes. No, these are my like top like, oh,
Speaker 1: these guys are cute, Okay, Colton off see like adorable
Speaker 1: from him, he has his charity Mr Perray. You look
Speaker 1: at him, he's like buff and you know Clay Clay Clay,
Speaker 1: He's buff. But then he has like the sweet voice
Speaker 1: and he comes from such a nice family. Garrett, Um,
Speaker 1: I feel like Garrett is going to go really far
Speaker 1: with his minivan entrance and she seemed very attracted to Yeah,
Speaker 1: Blake Lincoln's void, his his accent, you like you like
Speaker 1: he was. I thought they kind of teased him being
Speaker 1: a villain a little bit in the promo. It seems
Speaker 1: like he's going to be a villain really well. Okay,
Speaker 1: from night one, he seemed like a cut, nice guy. Um, Christians,
Speaker 1: these are my notes a Christian's face. Exclamation, exclamation, exclamation,
Speaker 1: those eyes and cheek bones. Don't remember, okay, Camille, I mean,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, he was cute too, but he's like sixty forty.
Speaker 1: When he was like telling social media participant, gots at home, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure. And then he went sixty's bachelor, you
Speaker 1: gotta go to her hundred Trent. I don't remember what Trent,
Speaker 1: but I wrote lamo for Trent. Oh. Trent was the
Speaker 1: guy I think who popped out of the hearse and
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, I literally died. Okay, that was funny.
Speaker 1: It was pretty cute. I like that cheesy stuff. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then I wrote Connor is cute. I hated every
Speaker 1: single one of them. Colton personally, so of course I
Speaker 1: like him. Yeah, we met him. He was sweet. Yes,
Speaker 1: Um Joe the grocery store owner I like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I liked he got sent home right, he'll be in Paradise.
Speaker 1: I think Chris Harrison teased it a little bit about that. Um,
Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot of room for me
Speaker 1: to be one over. The only person that I like
Speaker 1: is Colton, But I don't know, what don't you like
Speaker 1: about the other guys, like, for example, Garret and Blake
Speaker 1: or two front runners. What don't you like about him?
Speaker 1: Garrett said. He kept saying some stupid, cheesy little thing
Speaker 1: to Becca, and I was like, that's getting old really fast.
Speaker 1: I'm already annoyed. But you know what night one is?
Speaker 1: Do you guys remember Night one? Of course I don't
Speaker 1: remember half. I agree fully with that statement, but I'm
Speaker 1: just saying there's a lot of a lot of room
Speaker 1: to be left over, to be one over. But I
Speaker 1: guess my question with you, Vanessa is, let's put you
Speaker 1: in the shoes of Becca right now and say you're
Speaker 1: dating thirty guys at the same time. My worst night,
Speaker 1: Mary just pieces together. You're moving back to Canada for
Speaker 1: this summer. How long when does Bachelorette Canada film? Is
Speaker 1: it possibly the months of June two September in Canada?
Speaker 1: Are you going to Canada film the Canadian bachelorette. This
Speaker 1: is amazing. I'm not Canadian bachelorette. Oh my god. No,
Speaker 1: who would you have given your first impression roads to?
Speaker 1: Oh god, I mean I did like Garrett. I would
Speaker 1: have either given it to him, Colton or Clay. Garrett
Speaker 1: does kind of have this all American like, I don't
Speaker 1: know feel to him? Yeah, um yeah, yeah, stor Derek
Speaker 1: or no. I'm trying to I'm trying to remember. I
Speaker 1: don't remember that much. I just wrote these notes sound
Speaker 1: but I don't remember. Like, so Garret would have gotten
Speaker 1: you first impression rules. Yeah, I just like the whole
Speaker 1: because let's and I had like not a traumatic break
Speaker 1: up with my the love of my life. U. When
Speaker 1: I see when I see less types of things, I like,
Speaker 1: I say l l lull whenever I read um so
Speaker 1: so with my ex he um at that point in
Speaker 1: our relationship, He's like he wasn't sure if he wanted
Speaker 1: kids or not. So that was like the biggest thing.
Speaker 1: Every time I entered a new relationship, walks in and
Speaker 1: say they want But this is what I mean, this
Speaker 1: is the problem. I romanticize relationships and I think a
Speaker 1: lot of I think everybody does Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 1: people have a tendency to do that. Does this gentleman
Speaker 1: you're currently dating. Have you guys had the conversation about children?
Speaker 1: He does want kids and he comes from a great family,
Speaker 1: but there are obstacles, and of course there's obstacles in
Speaker 1: every relationship. Totally right, right, Okay, well there you have it.
Speaker 1: Vanessa would give her first impression Rose to Blake, same
Speaker 1: as Becca. I said, Garred Clay or Colton. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you need down three. There we go. I will say
Speaker 1: I just got done hanging out with Lauren. See my
Speaker 1: first second. Apparently Garrett was liking some controversial things on
Speaker 1: the internet that he Yeah, I was gonna really touch
Speaker 1: on it, but there was, like apparently his Instagram, which
Speaker 1: have since been deleted, apparently liked some a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago I think at this point, but lights some
Speaker 1: possible very right wing controversial Instagram posts. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: don't really know about it too much. I just read
Speaker 1: the headline, which which maybe is even a topic for
Speaker 1: this podcast, not so much outside of Bachelor, it's could
Speaker 1: you date someone? Not that's necessarily enables bigotry or anything
Speaker 1: like that, But does social media presence for the significant
Speaker 1: other that you're dating influence your decision or like your
Speaker 1: feelings towards that person. Yes, I'd rather than not have
Speaker 1: social media. I would almost think that's my situation as well.
Speaker 1: I agree, like that you start dating someone and that,
Speaker 1: like Vanessa for instance, that you start dating someone and then,
Speaker 1: like a couple of staid, you check their Instagram and
Speaker 1: they're posting a bunch of like mirror selfies, like shirtless selfies.
Speaker 1: Are you out? Yeah, Well, because like I, um, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think I would judge them that quickly. You know,
Speaker 1: there's like one persona on Instagram and then there's a
Speaker 1: meet the person in person, and they can be a
Speaker 1: totally different person. So I don't know. I I wouldn't
Speaker 1: judge them just based off of Instagram, but it's hard
Speaker 1: not to. Yeah, it's like you can't get that image
Speaker 1: out of your head. Yeah, and that's kind of the
Speaker 1: way that they present themselves to the world. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've definitely noticed that my Instagram USAID has gotten skewed
Speaker 1: a little bit more douchey since post Bachelorette. I think
Speaker 1: all of ours has be a little bit more self centric,
Speaker 1: which is kind of a bummer. I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just you don't have to be I like you. Before
Speaker 1: I went on the show, I would post pictures of
Speaker 1: like landscapes or my dog, And now I post not selfies,
Speaker 1: but I post pictures of you and me, and a
Speaker 1: picture of you with my friend in a picture my friend.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but you said that you prefer they
Speaker 1: not have it at all, and it's not a red
Speaker 1: flag to meet somebody who has no social media, wrote Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Isn't that sad to think that they
Speaker 1: might there might be something off with them. If they
Speaker 1: don't know, there's something at their hiding, they don't have to.
Speaker 1: It's a little weird. I think that. Well, okay, find
Speaker 1: someone who has social media but doesn't use it as
Speaker 1: much as maybe I would, or people in my past would.
Speaker 1: Your roommate has zero. He deleted it all like maybe
Speaker 1: a month or two ago. Why what's his number? He?
Speaker 1: Why did he delete it? He just said that he
Speaker 1: noticed himself like mindlessly scrolling and wasting time time and
Speaker 1: just like kind of filler, like time filler. Well, it's
Speaker 1: proven that so like the chemical that gets released in
Speaker 1: your brain every time you go on social media. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like anytime you get likes or anytime you get comments,
Speaker 1: it's the same chemical that's released that like when you
Speaker 1: take a drug or it's addicting social media is he
Speaker 1: was flipping chairs and no, I had tall ice coffee
Speaker 1: and an ENGERG drink before coming here, So that's why
Speaker 1: I'm talking fast and everything. But no, he It's it's
Speaker 1: funny because people will text me and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: why did your roommate block me on Instagram? And like,
Speaker 1: he didn't block you, he just deleted it. And then
Speaker 1: like girls with he like invited a couple of girls
Speaker 1: over to the beach the other day, and one of
Speaker 1: the girls made a comment specifically that was like I
Speaker 1: find you so much more attractive knowing that you deleted
Speaker 1: your Instagram. It's just it ads a different dynamic to
Speaker 1: it that I guess. I don't know it's really taken,
Speaker 1: but I wonder if it's like in the media attraction
Speaker 1: because you don't have social media, because it's different and cool.
Speaker 1: And then once you say she starts dating him, she
Speaker 1: finds it weird that he doesn't have social media, Like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, now that I'm dating you, you're trying
Speaker 1: to hide something. No. He did also just recently go
Speaker 1: through a breakup, and he says not having Instagram for
Speaker 1: that breakup has helped him. I mentally, Oh yeah, you
Speaker 1: can go down a rabbit hole totally. I remember this
Speaker 1: just like seven years ago. But when my X and
Speaker 1: I broke up, you know me blocked each other on
Speaker 1: Facebook just because like you don't need to see them
Speaker 1: picture posting pictures with somebody else, you block them. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, we've talked about this before. You still have
Speaker 1: separate Instagram accounts. I mean, ifuly have separate Wait what
Speaker 1: Deanie underscore babies, I've got my Why are you even
Speaker 1: saying about Why are you saying? Yeah, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: These are secrets and suposed to accounts. I have the
Speaker 1: help I suck at dating podcast that I post for
Speaker 1: the episode every single week. Who because if account that's me,
Speaker 1: all right, I will definitely start interacting more on that.
Speaker 1: That's why I ask you guys to send me pictures,
Speaker 1: and you never do. You're the one that takes all
Speaker 1: the pictures on your phone and sends me all the
Speaker 1: ugly ones. My fault that you decided to look like
Speaker 1: that in the pictures. Okay, and then I have a
Speaker 1: third one that's a private account that only my friends
Speaker 1: follow that I followed, And how come I'm not part
Speaker 1: of that account? Jared? Are you part of that? I'm
Speaker 1: not a part of that. No one from vacclinations. He
Speaker 1: would keep it a little private. That's so understandable, because yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go with the second account, no Better, so
Speaker 1: you can block someone on your Vanessa Grimaldi account, but
Speaker 1: then go to the no Better you and creep. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're all guilty for that. Don't make me out to
Speaker 1: be some crazy same here. Cool. So for this very
Speaker 1: next segment, we have the author of Confidence Creator, Heather Monahan. Heather,
Speaker 1: are you there? I'm here, Heather. Hey, Heather, So it's
Speaker 1: it's me, Dean, Jared and Vanessa and I did that
Speaker 1: last time. It's only three amazing. I understand maybe someone
Speaker 1: might think Jared and I sounded like Anyways, Heather, it's Dean,
Speaker 1: Jared and Vanessa. Thank you so much for calling in
Speaker 1: and taking the time to speak with us today. How
Speaker 1: are you? I'm great. How are you guys doing? Jacked
Speaker 1: up on Mountain dew Um? So, Heather, tell us a
Speaker 1: little bit more about your book and maybe the role
Speaker 1: that confidence plays in dating nowadays. Sure, So the book
Speaker 1: is all about the lowest moments in my life and
Speaker 1: how I use those moments to discover and find ways
Speaker 1: to create confidence, and how the reader can too. And
Speaker 1: I think that you know, confidence applies to everything. It
Speaker 1: doesn't just apply at work or at home. You know,
Speaker 1: it really can completely change your situation in regard to dating.
Speaker 1: You know, im mentally, not only from the standpoint that
Speaker 1: you know, when you don't have confidence, you're not going
Speaker 1: to be willing to approach someone because you're going to
Speaker 1: be far too fearful of what they might think of you,
Speaker 1: to actually being on a date with someone and being
Speaker 1: yourself because when you're not confident, you know, you might
Speaker 1: try to mirror someone, you might try to act like
Speaker 1: somebody else, but you're definitely not going to bring your
Speaker 1: best version of yourself to the table when you're not
Speaker 1: feeling your most confident. So does this apply to I
Speaker 1: don't know. As I think we have this discussion, like
Speaker 1: a couple of times when I I've usually been in
Speaker 1: relationships and the reason why I ended up in those
Speaker 1: relationships was because I had to build up the courage
Speaker 1: to go up to the guys. Yeah, um, do you
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, I swear to God true, it's true.
Speaker 1: Do you think that comes Do you think that's like?
Speaker 1: Why did you guys laugh at everyone one time? Like
Speaker 1: no one believes me. I swear, I don't I do
Speaker 1: not get I don't get approached as much as I
Speaker 1: don't believe that you don't get approached, But I also
Speaker 1: believe that you go up to guys. Yeah. Um, now
Speaker 1: I lost my train of thought. Thanks guys, Sorry, Heather,
Speaker 1: Well you're gonna ask Heather a question about approaching guys,
Speaker 1: I feel, oh wait, so yeah, so does this book
Speaker 1: apply to women as well? Oh? My gosh, absolutely so.
Speaker 1: You know, the story is told by me, so if anything,
Speaker 1: you know, the whole concept of the book and the
Speaker 1: tactics and strategies are applicable to men or women any age.
Speaker 1: But because I'm telling it from the standpoint of my
Speaker 1: personal stories, I think it resonates even more, you know,
Speaker 1: real when a woman reads it, because it really is.
Speaker 1: You know, it's very specific stories around sexual harassment, bullying
Speaker 1: in the workplace, you know, personal challenge, challenges, break up, divorce,
Speaker 1: all of those different elements are in the book. And
Speaker 1: I think it really connects strongly with women. Well, so,
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's a lot of different elements, like you said,
Speaker 1: that are covered in the book, But what is your
Speaker 1: personal experience with confidence in relationships? You know, I write
Speaker 1: about that in the book. I actually write about when
Speaker 1: I was dating my now fiance and at the time,
Speaker 1: I felt really insecure because I had been divorced and
Speaker 1: you know, I was disappointed in relationships and down on myself.
Speaker 1: So when we first started dating, I was not my
Speaker 1: authentic self and I would hold back. That was always
Speaker 1: my strategy when I was younger, and I didn't realize
Speaker 1: I was holding back because I was insecure, and now
Speaker 1: having a chance to look back on that time and
Speaker 1: realize that, you know, I didn't want to be the
Speaker 1: one to text first, or I didn't want to invite
Speaker 1: him to do something serious because what if he said
Speaker 1: no and I scared him away. I was always playing
Speaker 1: games in my mind instead of just being my real
Speaker 1: self because I just didn't feel confident in those moments.
Speaker 1: And when I look back on those times, it's painful
Speaker 1: to see. I keep journals, you know, all throughout my life,
Speaker 1: and I looked back at those journals and it's really
Speaker 1: eye opening to see what a change it was for
Speaker 1: me over the years and sent together on and off
Speaker 1: for eight years, and you know, over that eight years span,
Speaker 1: at times, as my confidence grew, our relationship evolved and
Speaker 1: changed for the better. Yeah. I think it's really interesting
Speaker 1: when you talk about confidence and how you have to
Speaker 1: use confidence on a daily basis, and it works just
Speaker 1: like a muscle and it needs to be developed day
Speaker 1: in and day out. And I am a firm believer
Speaker 1: in that as well as that you have to work
Speaker 1: on your confidence is just naturally not gonna come to
Speaker 1: a lot of people. Um. And one way to build
Speaker 1: confidence I heard as well is to imagine yourself like
Speaker 1: a cloud or like water. Have you ever heard about this?
Speaker 1: Because if you ever look into the sky, clouds never wrong.
Speaker 1: Like you've ever seen a cloud that's wrong. No, it's
Speaker 1: just all there's all different types of shapes. I know
Speaker 1: this is really maybe, but like it's just interesting to
Speaker 1: think that, like in terms of trusting your own instincts
Speaker 1: and having confidence when you're within yourself, because a lot
Speaker 1: of times you lack confidence, which makes you not trust
Speaker 1: your gut and doubt yourself. And the way you get
Speaker 1: over that is sometimes for me one, I don't envision
Speaker 1: a cloud, but a tool to use to build confidence
Speaker 1: is like to always try to imagine yourself as a
Speaker 1: cloud or as water, because water is never wrong or
Speaker 1: a clouds never wrong. They're always different shapes. Right, You've
Speaker 1: never seen a cloud and you're like, well, that's wrong. No,
Speaker 1: It's just what I'm saying is though, I've always found
Speaker 1: this very interesting and it's a way to build confidence
Speaker 1: for you personally. I wonder if other people use it
Speaker 1: as well. That's all what's your standpoint? I think that's
Speaker 1: very very interesting. I don't understand what you're saying. It's
Speaker 1: really about self acceptance and knowing that you're enough no
Speaker 1: matter how you are, which is a great fundamental practice
Speaker 1: to build confidence. And I think that you know, that's
Speaker 1: definitely a piece of the whole picture is just getting
Speaker 1: the place. And part of that is you know through
Speaker 1: growing your confidence that you are enough and you are
Speaker 1: willing to listen to your inner voice and act upon that,
Speaker 1: because all of those steps and actions really help you
Speaker 1: to build that confidence daily. Do you think that typically
Speaker 1: you see men and women in relationships grow confidence throughout
Speaker 1: a relationship or is there ever, the inverse of that,
Speaker 1: where confidence starts high and it begins to waiver as
Speaker 1: time moves on. I mean, don't you think it's both ways?
Speaker 1: Depending on the people in the situation. Think that that's
Speaker 1: the case. But how do you go about helping people
Speaker 1: with the ladder of that where they start out super
Speaker 1: confident and then as time moves on, confidence kind of
Speaker 1: begins to waiver a little bit? Do you do address
Speaker 1: that all in the book? Well, I don't address that
Speaker 1: topic in particular in regards to relationships, but one of
Speaker 1: the elements that I talked about, and every time I
Speaker 1: speak at anything, I address this point. It is critical
Speaker 1: to fire negative people from your life. And you know,
Speaker 1: one of one of the things that I when I
Speaker 1: initially heard you say, maybe they started off both confident people,
Speaker 1: but as the relationship goes on, they've both lost their confidence.
Speaker 1: To me, that sounds like the negative situation. Something's off there.
Speaker 1: So you know, if someone bringing you down, holding you back,
Speaker 1: beating down to you, you know, putting you second, and
Speaker 1: you begin allowing that that's the kind of person you
Speaker 1: need to fire from your life. Because when you remove
Speaker 1: those types of people from your life, you literally take
Speaker 1: off as well as your confidence those simultaneously. Well, there
Speaker 1: you go. That makes a lot of sense. That doesn't
Speaker 1: make a lot of sense, I think. I think by
Speaker 1: accepting someone like that is showing that you're allowing that
Speaker 1: person to see you in that way. You know, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know it makes sense? Yeah, exactly. Confidence,
Speaker 1: When you allow someone to treat you that way and
Speaker 1: push you down and speak down to you, you're really
Speaker 1: hurting yourself internally. I mean, I think when you get
Speaker 1: in that situation, all you have to do is just
Speaker 1: think about clouds that clouds telling people know but have
Speaker 1: I understand your point. I think sometimes it can be
Speaker 1: challenging though, because obviously oftentimes with those relationships, um and
Speaker 1: I've experienced in the past. That's why I asked the question,
Speaker 1: is um you know, you you develop obviously real feelings
Speaker 1: for a person, but then you notice the confidence begin
Speaker 1: to waiver on either side, and then it begins one
Speaker 1: of the becomes one of those things where you may
Speaker 1: be recognized it as a defect in the relationship, but
Speaker 1: you're so invested in the relationship as it is, where
Speaker 1: it's difficult to kind of fire that relationship as you said, um,
Speaker 1: do you think like those insecurities or lack of or
Speaker 1: confidence going downhill throughout a relationship is the fact that
Speaker 1: you are realizing that you're so dependent on somebody else
Speaker 1: that's going to say. That's what I've always been wondering
Speaker 1: about relationships, is that because you have so much love
Speaker 1: and that you're so dependent now on that love for happiness,
Speaker 1: that like, if you ever lose it, I think sometimes
Speaker 1: you lose confidence in that because you're like, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, I I can't screw this up. I can't
Speaker 1: screw it up. Well, I mean, you need to have
Speaker 1: boundaries in any situation. And that's the one thing that
Speaker 1: comes to my mind when I hear you say that.
Speaker 1: So you know, there is no relationship should be everything.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day. You should be everything.
Speaker 1: And your happiness is you know, defined and comes from you.
Speaker 1: And while it might be sad that you love someone
Speaker 1: in that relationship could go away, you will still always
Speaker 1: be fine if you really are a confident person and
Speaker 1: you know, the unfortunate part of life is that people
Speaker 1: are going to die, they're going to move, they're gonna
Speaker 1: get fired, they're gonna cheat on you. There's going to
Speaker 1: be ups and downs in life. But when you truly
Speaker 1: have worked on your confidence and developed it and have
Speaker 1: a sustainable plan to move forward with it, those blows
Speaker 1: will not knock you down. You will be able to
Speaker 1: recover and bounce back very quickly. And I speak with
Speaker 1: a lot of experience that you know for years old
Speaker 1: life seeing a lot of these really major life changing elements.
Speaker 1: Even the recession back in two thousand nine was a
Speaker 1: huge life changing moment for me and a real difficult time.
Speaker 1: So all of those different things, the economy, the relationships
Speaker 1: help you know, all these things are going to happen
Speaker 1: to everyone at some point in your life, and it's
Speaker 1: all about how you're going to respond in the face
Speaker 1: of it. And if you are a confident person and
Speaker 1: you practice that daily, you are going to respond very
Speaker 1: quickly and bounce back. So howther can you give us
Speaker 1: an example on something that maybe we can work on
Speaker 1: every day to build that confidence. Yeah? Sure. So you know,
Speaker 1: practice is a critical um element in developing confidence in
Speaker 1: any situation. So I know that a lot of people
Speaker 1: are fearful of public speaking, for example, and so they
Speaker 1: don't really find their voice and they don't speak up
Speaker 1: and maybe they'll make excuses, well I don't need to
Speaker 1: be a public speaker. But then you notice seeing them
Speaker 1: in a meeting and they never raise their hands. So
Speaker 1: you know, for whatever your challenges, or maybe it's was
Speaker 1: asking somebody out on a date, it doesn't really matter
Speaker 1: what the ask is. It's all about practicing. So one
Speaker 1: of the things that I suggest for people to do
Speaker 1: is if you are that person that has a hard
Speaker 1: time speaking up, maybe it's just tapping the person in
Speaker 1: line in front of you at Starbucks and introducing yourself.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you're not going to
Speaker 1: die if the guy doesn't turn around and say hello
Speaker 1: and ignores you. But for you, that's a confidence building
Speaker 1: moment because you're using that as a practice moment in
Speaker 1: your day. It really is irrelevant what the outcome is,
Speaker 1: but it's helping you to see, wow, I tried something new.
Speaker 1: I tried speaking up and introducing myself and life went on.
Speaker 1: I was okay. So the next time that element or
Speaker 1: opportunity arises and you see that person you want to
Speaker 1: go on a date with, it'll be a little bit
Speaker 1: easier to tap that person on the shoulder because you've
Speaker 1: been challenging yourself daily to put yourself in that you
Speaker 1: know previously uncomfortable situation. Well, if you practice like that
Speaker 1: for thirty days every single day, you do it on
Speaker 1: days a the one, it's going to be pretty easy
Speaker 1: to tap the guy on the shoulder. And that just
Speaker 1: comes with the discipline of practice. I think that's really
Speaker 1: good because, yeah, practice makes perfect And if you practice
Speaker 1: towards things that maybe you're not that invested in, when
Speaker 1: the day comes when you're actually invested in talking to someone,
Speaker 1: you'll have the confidence to actually go out to them
Speaker 1: because you've been practicing with yourself and then you talk
Speaker 1: about you know, like communication And I've always wondered about
Speaker 1: within a relationship to build confidence. I believe that communication
Speaker 1: is a huge factor in building confidence within a relationship
Speaker 1: because I've always lacked confidence when I don't know something,
Speaker 1: when I'm kind of in the unknown of like is
Speaker 1: this Am I doing something wrong? Am I doing something right?
Speaker 1: But when I actually talked about it with my partner, um,
Speaker 1: I end up growing more confidence within the relationship because
Speaker 1: then I either know I'm doing something right or I'm
Speaker 1: doing something wrong. But now that I know that I'm
Speaker 1: doing something wrong, I can work on getting better at it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's also you know, communication critical, and it's also
Speaker 1: about you speaking up. So what when you communicated, you
Speaker 1: were speaking up with whatever your truth was, and those
Speaker 1: are a huge confidence building moments. So it's think taking
Speaker 1: that step, taking that action of having that conversation and
Speaker 1: realizing it doesn't have to be an argument. For me personally,
Speaker 1: when I was younger, I thought that if I was
Speaker 1: going to speak up and say, well, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: I'm wrong here, immediately I would get into an argument
Speaker 1: because I was getting defensive and I didn't feel confident
Speaker 1: and I was scared. And learning over time that you know,
Speaker 1: removing emotion from the conversation and approaching it in a
Speaker 1: very factual manner allows you to remain calm and allows
Speaker 1: the other person not to get triggered, which delivers a
Speaker 1: better outcome. I like it. I like it too, um
Speaker 1: And I think you you mentioned this a little bit
Speaker 1: earlier on, but a lot of our listeners will email
Speaker 1: in and one of the main issues that we come
Speaker 1: across with them is just their unwillingness or inability to
Speaker 1: introduce themselves. And I know you said just obviously like
Speaker 1: it takes practice. It takes like a thirty days to
Speaker 1: kind of train your mind and become better at introducing
Speaker 1: yourself to people. But um, what type of advice would
Speaker 1: you have for you know, like the casual data whether
Speaker 1: they're twenty one or thirty one or forty one, however
Speaker 1: old to kind of help them with that introduction other
Speaker 1: than just you know, going for it, Is there anything
Speaker 1: specific that you could recommend for them? The first thing
Speaker 1: that comes to mind for me is asking for help.
Speaker 1: So we all have networks of people in our life,
Speaker 1: and you're always so close to that next person that
Speaker 1: you could potentially be a fit with, So reaching out
Speaker 1: and tapping your network, your friends, the people that live
Speaker 1: in your building, your next door neighbor, the person you
Speaker 1: run into at the grocery store every Sunday. You know,
Speaker 1: we all have these circles of people that we know
Speaker 1: that are in our world and reaching out and tapping
Speaker 1: those people individually and asking them for help. Who do
Speaker 1: you know that you think would be a great match
Speaker 1: for me? That's how I was set up with my
Speaker 1: fiance eight years ago, was through that exact situation. So
Speaker 1: when you find good people in your life and they
Speaker 1: like you and you like them, asking their help and
Speaker 1: asking who they might know in their circles that you
Speaker 1: don't know, really will deliver you some nice, warm introductions
Speaker 1: so you don't have to be taking that cold introduct.
Speaker 1: Introduction every time definitely helps make it take the pressure
Speaker 1: off a little bit. If it's not quite as cold,
Speaker 1: it definitely does. It makes it much easier, much more
Speaker 1: comfortable for people. I think, Uh, I wonder if you
Speaker 1: should maybe coach some people before going on the Bachelor
Speaker 1: Bachelorette because they could use a common I think those
Speaker 1: people have totally different challenges than what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: Anything helps, I'm sure. Um, well, how there is there
Speaker 1: anything else that you're working on besides the book that
Speaker 1: you just came out with. Yeah, so my new book
Speaker 1: just came out on Tuesday and it hit number one.
Speaker 1: We released and best seller within a couple of days.
Speaker 1: We sold out today. Yeah, it's been a crazy run.
Speaker 1: So it's it's pretty exciting. We sold out of our
Speaker 1: hardcovers today and a new shipments coming in. I think
Speaker 1: it's coming in tomorrow. So it's been a really exciting
Speaker 1: week and and just really lends itself to you know,
Speaker 1: realizing that building confidences, you know, not only is it
Speaker 1: important to me, but really it's applicable and important to
Speaker 1: every and so what you know, during this process, I've
Speaker 1: had so many people reach out to me on social media.
Speaker 1: I'm on you know, all the platforms, and I get
Speaker 1: v ms all the time asking how did you know?
Speaker 1: How did you have the confidence to go out on
Speaker 1: your own and the confidence to do this? And that
Speaker 1: took me down the path of writing the book. But
Speaker 1: during the time I was writing the book, it was
Speaker 1: brought to my attention that, you know, the younger generation
Speaker 1: really loved videos. So I as soon as I finished
Speaker 1: working on Confidence Creator and went into publishing mode, I
Speaker 1: began working on a video product version of Confidence Creator.
Speaker 1: And we're actually an edit mode right now with that project,
Speaker 1: and it's really bringing the books tips and strategies to
Speaker 1: life in an e learning course through a video series.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's incredible. Well, okay, so for the
Speaker 1: listeners out there, if you want to get your hands
Speaker 1: on Heather's book, be sure to check it out on Amazon.
Speaker 1: Like I think you said, it's sold out right now,
Speaker 1: but you're getting a shipment soon. Um it's called Confidence Creator.
Speaker 1: It's I think I'm treeping your Instagram right now it's
Speaker 1: doing better than Trump's are of the deal, so that's obviously. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was an exciting thing. That's awesome. That's awesome. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for taking the time to call
Speaker 1: in and giving us a few pointers. I think we
Speaker 1: could all benefit from a little more confidence on a
Speaker 1: daily basis. Absolutely, Thank you, Heather, and best of luck
Speaker 1: with the books and videos and everything, and um, maybe
Speaker 1: we'll circle back with you sometime in the near future.
Speaker 1: All right, sounds good. Thank you so much, Thanks, thank you,
Speaker 1: good bye. Well, I think I could use a little
Speaker 1: bit more confidently of, like, you know, focusing on something
Speaker 1: that you know you want to work on and then
Speaker 1: actually going out there and working on. Let's do that
Speaker 1: exercise right now, Vanessa, what do you think you need
Speaker 1: to work on? I'll go last, Jared, what do you
Speaker 1: think you need? It's ridiculous, we asked vansa first, be
Speaker 1: more confident in your decision. You're absolutely right. I'm not
Speaker 1: really good at making decisions. I'm always like in my
Speaker 1: head second guessing things, So like, yeah, making decisions quicker.
Speaker 1: I agree? No, no, sorry, this is a weird noise
Speaker 1: that I made. Yeah, no, absolutely, my indecisiveness, and it's
Speaker 1: absolutely something I need to work when's your birthday? Nomber scorpio.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be balanced, but yeah, when's your birthday?
Speaker 1: What do I need to work on? I think that
Speaker 1: I would like to be more Yes, it's a hard one.
Speaker 1: You're perfect name, I'm pretty damn perfect. I need to
Speaker 1: work on being more humble, I think. No, I'm just kidding. Um,
Speaker 1: I have a lot to work on. I think that
Speaker 1: I want to work with Well, why are you thinking
Speaker 1: about that? What I did really like about what she
Speaker 1: said is that you have to practice being confident, because
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not confident. I don't have confidence in myself. Well,
Speaker 1: it's something that you actually need to work on it.
Speaker 1: You need to practice it to make perfect. And so
Speaker 1: one thing that I really liked is if you have
Speaker 1: trouble approaching people, approach people that you don't care about,
Speaker 1: like you're in the Starbucks and just say hi to someone,
Speaker 1: and then do that for like ten days straight, and
Speaker 1: then somebody that you actually want to approach, I think
Speaker 1: it will really help you approaching them because you've already
Speaker 1: talked to so many pull that you're kind of like
Speaker 1: a social butterfly. At this point, it will be easier
Speaker 1: to go up and be like, Hi, my name is so,
Speaker 1: and so I think I'm I just realized what it is.
Speaker 1: I'm the opposite of that. I want to work on
Speaker 1: my confidence in saying no to people because that I
Speaker 1: really struggle with that even yesterday for instances more I'm
Speaker 1: just say, like you were just talking about how like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm profert, I need to work with my humbleness obvious.
Speaker 1: So you're joking now you're like, no, but you know
Speaker 1: what I need to tell people no, Well, that's true.
Speaker 1: Like yesterday, for instance, my friends and I were at
Speaker 1: the beach for a Memorial Day. Obviously everyone had the
Speaker 1: day off of work, so we went to to kind
Speaker 1: of gather around and um, obviously Memorial Day, so let's
Speaker 1: go ahead and take a moment to thank you the
Speaker 1: people every women. Um. Anyway, So so we had some
Speaker 1: friends having barbecues, are like, yeah, come to this barbecue,
Speaker 1: and I always say, you know, like maybe I'll come,
Speaker 1: Like sure, I'll come with full well knowing I'm not going.
Speaker 1: But rather than say no to them in that moment,
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, it text me or like maybe I'll
Speaker 1: come like blah blah blah, and what I need to
Speaker 1: work on. Even my roommate pointing this out yesterday, was
Speaker 1: I just need to start saying no. Yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: under the ever not even over promise, but I just
Speaker 1: I don't like telling people what they don't want, you know,
Speaker 1: like hurting people's feelings, and you'll go so far to
Speaker 1: like them by not shying, not showing up exactly what
Speaker 1: I'm saying you will. And I think to to relate
Speaker 1: it back to Heather is I think that there should
Speaker 1: be some sort of art of confidence in saying no
Speaker 1: to people like that, because I think all of us
Speaker 1: want to be people pleasers. But yeah, of course I
Speaker 1: think I got a lot better with that too, because
Speaker 1: I was always like yes, yes, yes, because people pleaser too.
Speaker 1: But now I'm like, okay, I know. Either A asked
Speaker 1: me to go out at three o'clock during the day,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, yeah, let's do it. By the time
Speaker 1: nine o'clock comes around, I'm like nope, I'm in my pajamas,
Speaker 1: and not A Like I'm like, oh, I'll circle back
Speaker 1: and let you know how I feel after dinner. Instead
Speaker 1: of I think a lot of times too, it's giving
Speaker 1: the person the opportunity to actually handle the truth. And
Speaker 1: that's something I work on as well, because I'm people
Speaker 1: pleaser as well, and so I'll sometimes say yes when
Speaker 1: I know I'm not going, and so now I try
Speaker 1: to understand that they're going to be just fine if
Speaker 1: I don't go. And so that's when one thing I've
Speaker 1: been working on saying like no, I can't make it,
Speaker 1: and it's I'm not really hurting their feelings all that
Speaker 1: much because they're going to be just fine, giving them
Speaker 1: the opportunity to handle the truth rather than beating around
Speaker 1: the bush to try to make them feel better. There
Speaker 1: it is, um Mark, what else do we want to
Speaker 1: do today? Well, we have an email right here from
Speaker 1: Julia i'd like to share with you, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to activate a phone line before I read this email,
Speaker 1: all right. The email reads like this. It says, Hi, Dean, Jared, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: and anyone else reading this. I was wondering when the man,
Speaker 1: the myth, the Legend, Alex Bordiakoff will join you on
Speaker 1: the podcast. He has been mentioned a lot lately and
Speaker 1: I wanted to know if he'll ever be a guest.
Speaker 1: He is my favorite guy from Rachel's season. No offense deed,
Speaker 1: I ask if he will ever guessed because I have
Speaker 1: a slight ulterior motive. I am from the same city
Speaker 1: as him, Gross Point Park, and I wanted to know
Speaker 1: if he has any hack to dating in our area,
Speaker 1: that is, if he is currently dating. I moved back
Speaker 1: home to Michigan from college three years ago for a
Speaker 1: job and haven't really pursued dating since moving back. I
Speaker 1: want to focus on the job, but I'm ready to
Speaker 1: get back out there. Any tips are appreciated. This is
Speaker 1: from Julia Rose and PS, Jared, your love story with
Speaker 1: actually makes me so happy. It helped me realize that
Speaker 1: should seize the moment and get back out there. Julia
Speaker 1: asking about or your I have no idea who that
Speaker 1: human being is. It's interesting because it's online six right now.
Speaker 1: Oh he's on the phone is Alex Oh from my
Speaker 1: season of the Bachelor. It wasn't ring any bells for
Speaker 1: me at first. Is a podcast. I'm going to come
Speaker 1: right out and say it sounds like Julia wants to
Speaker 1: date you out exactly what I was thinking. Um, But
Speaker 1: she does raises an interesting point that I think you
Speaker 1: can help us tackle because when we talk on this
Speaker 1: podcast from the perspective of me, Jared, and Vanessa is
Speaker 1: it's always the dating in Los Angeles and it only
Speaker 1: applies to thirteen million people. However, big Los Angeles County
Speaker 1: is Alice. What is dating like in small town gross Point, Michigan. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, christ a draft. The fact that this is
Speaker 1: Dean is supposedly my good friend at least on Instagram, right,
Speaker 1: And uh, I only heard from Amy and and here's
Speaker 1: the thing, and I haven't I haven't talk to you,
Speaker 1: and like the week, I mean, I know you're not
Speaker 1: that busy because under text us that or something. You know,
Speaker 1: I knew, I knew you were going to bring that up.
Speaker 1: And I was going to text you and be like, hey, man,
Speaker 1: like I'm excited to have you call in on Tuesday
Speaker 1: for the podcast. But I wanted our conversation to be
Speaker 1: authentic for the first time in the work. I wanted
Speaker 1: this to I wanted the listeners to feel the electricity
Speaker 1: between the two of us so we can feel sure, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean dating here. You know, Growth Point, which really
Speaker 1: is right next to Detroit, is still big metro metro area.
Speaker 1: It's a little different. I mean most people actually end
Speaker 1: up engage with pretty young. It's crazy. Uh, you know
Speaker 1: a lot of the kids so I coached uh swimming
Speaker 1: in college after I graduated, and a lot of the
Speaker 1: kids that coach. I'm married a Riddy and I'm still single.
Speaker 1: Howl are you I'm watching turn thirty and a couple
Speaker 1: of months. Still young? Still young, buck, Yeah, so young enough.
Speaker 1: So I don't know about heck here. I mean obviously,
Speaker 1: you know, with with social media and all the dating apps,
Speaker 1: solute different, we don't really have any We can't really
Speaker 1: get advice from parents anymore. Like we are the first
Speaker 1: generation through this, so like all the advice, I mean,
Speaker 1: we are the ones that should be giving advice, like
Speaker 1: you guys to do with this podcast to the younger generations.
Speaker 1: And you can complain about what you want, but I
Speaker 1: mean the reality is, this is the evolution and this
Speaker 1: is what's happening. This is where we are. So I
Speaker 1: mean i'd say online dating still probably, I mean that's
Speaker 1: the most uh you know, basic way you can go
Speaker 1: about it. I just I think creep creep hard because
Speaker 1: I mean the thing is, like you have all these
Speaker 1: people putting out all this information about themselves. So like
Speaker 1: I'm not saying like make these grass judgments, but you know,
Speaker 1: look into it, look for the rest flags. Don't waste
Speaker 1: your time. You don't have to waste your time to
Speaker 1: go on a date now with someone that's you to
Speaker 1: find out these flags. That's uh, I mean that's my
Speaker 1: number one thing. Even with when I used to do
Speaker 1: online dating, I would look into these pictures. I mean
Speaker 1: you would you pay attention like, Okay, what are they
Speaker 1: doing these pictures? Are there too many sealthie? So I
Speaker 1: mean what that friends looks like that? So Alex hold
Speaker 1: on because I so my friend was like, Oh, I
Speaker 1: have this really good cute guy for you, but what
Speaker 1: I want to introduce you to him? And I and
Speaker 1: I creeped him on Instagram like, oh he's cute from anyways?
Speaker 1: Um and uh from what? And anyways? He creeped my instagram?
Speaker 1: You know what his reaction was, Oh, no, she looks
Speaker 1: like she's ready to get married. She looks like she
Speaker 1: wants to be a mom too soon. So I'm not
Speaker 1: interested in to be there. You already married, so you're
Speaker 1: putting out the vibe you want right right, But he's
Speaker 1: just not the guy for you, that's all, and that's
Speaker 1: a good thing. Like why he would be a waste
Speaker 1: of your time to he did that? Right, think he
Speaker 1: creeped you and he said that's not for me, and
Speaker 1: that's what that's a time. So yeah, I agree with Alex. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there's more to me than just wanted to be
Speaker 1: no of course, and but I but I don't think
Speaker 1: Alex is saying that. Alex, you're not saying you should
Speaker 1: judge everything look after these like red flags as far
Speaker 1: as like what are you looking for as far as
Speaker 1: a compatible partner, Like would you yeah, like if you
Speaker 1: saw a guy who was on the Instagram who just
Speaker 1: had like thirteen shirtless self self please in like the
Speaker 1: past you know months, of course you would judge a
Speaker 1: little bit. But you know I don't think you would. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean I'll say it right now, Alex.
Speaker 1: If I had ads like you every other picture on
Speaker 1: my Instagram, yeah, I hate putting up those honestly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know exactly what you're doing when you do things.
Speaker 1: If I never put him on, then I'm like self
Speaker 1: conscious about taking my shirt off because every time I
Speaker 1: take it off, people like, oh, he's just trying to
Speaker 1: show off. No, I'm Alex. Let me for the listener.
Speaker 1: So Alex and I went to Coachella together and before
Speaker 1: we went, he was like, I'm terrified of being reverse
Speaker 1: body shamed. And I was like, what does that mean?
Speaker 1: And he says, every time he takes his shirt off,
Speaker 1: everyone like what what do you say? Everyone asks you
Speaker 1: how you get your sick abs or like how you're
Speaker 1: so in shape or something like that, and you say
Speaker 1: it's taxing on you, or what do you say? Like people?
Speaker 1: I mean people, do I assume that if I take
Speaker 1: my shirt off, like I said, if I'm gonna pool,
Speaker 1: if it's a hot day, saying oh, he's just been
Speaker 1: like looking forward to this moment to take is the
Speaker 1: opportunity to think is shirt off? And so now I
Speaker 1: just west through my shirts maintain this like humble. Uh
Speaker 1: you know, I'll like, hey man, if you got it,
Speaker 1: flaunt it exactly. But that does to your point earlier,
Speaker 1: what do you think the reasoning behind Like because you've
Speaker 1: been to l A a a few times to visit me
Speaker 1: your Frentino, but culture, like dating culture in a small
Speaker 1: town like gross Point. Granted it's not that small of
Speaker 1: the town, but it's so much different than it is
Speaker 1: here in Los Angeles or like New York or a
Speaker 1: big city whatever it is. So do you, like for Vanessa,
Speaker 1: because like it's hard for you to meet someone that
Speaker 1: wants to start a family right away in Los Angeles?
Speaker 1: Do you think that moving to Montreal or I don't know,
Speaker 1: I heading back. So that's the point I'm trying to make.
Speaker 1: It's like, do you think that I think so you're
Speaker 1: kind of like a product of like the the environment
Speaker 1: that you're in. Yeah, product absolutely. I mean l A.
Speaker 1: Obviously everyone complains you are you have this perceptive of
Speaker 1: these unlimited options of you know you you you know
Speaker 1: people you can date really, but whereas in reality, I
Speaker 1: think most people really focus on the on the terrible
Speaker 1: choices so that you're presented with because I mean, really
Speaker 1: you're presented with more options than ever before books good
Speaker 1: and bad, but I think i'd say ultimately more bad options.
Speaker 1: So it feels like it's uh, you know, postocalyptic time
Speaker 1: updating now, But it really isn't bad. I think it's good. Uh,
Speaker 1: I think for I mean, it's Kea was three years
Speaker 1: off from dating. Who is this? I mean the email
Speaker 1: that we're talking about three years off. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it Isn't that the reason I'm here just getting back
Speaker 1: out there? Mean for me, like when when I go
Speaker 1: on dates, I just make sure that date that I
Speaker 1: set up is something I want to do, something I
Speaker 1: would do this by myself with a friend. I'm not
Speaker 1: a big so I'm not as big as like fam
Speaker 1: of dinners and stuff like that. Like for me, a
Speaker 1: lot of times I'm like, I want to go ice
Speaker 1: skating or there's uh I want to go for me,
Speaker 1: Like I see I say very active to skiing or something,
Speaker 1: and I'll invite people and even though like it might
Speaker 1: not be a great date, I know I'll have a
Speaker 1: good time. So like whatever she's into, like maybe she's
Speaker 1: a runner, Like just invite someone for her jog. Like
Speaker 1: you really want to commit to these big dates that
Speaker 1: I feel like to waste the time honestly, Like if
Speaker 1: you should keep going in the same dinner movie dates
Speaker 1: over and over, you're gonna really exhaust yourself. Well, so
Speaker 1: let's let's help Julie out real quick. You said that
Speaker 1: you have a lot of friends, uh in gross point
Speaker 1: that are either engaged, married in long term serious relationships.
Speaker 1: How did they end up meeting their significant others. And
Speaker 1: do you have any suggestions for her to meet someone
Speaker 1: in Michigan? Oh? No, you gotta get out wrong girl. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's nothing I see. I don't know. I think just
Speaker 1: say it sounded like because you took some time off
Speaker 1: and you just start going on dates, like, don't be
Speaker 1: afraid to gone dates. A lot of people you know nowadays,
Speaker 1: they're either lazy or take you like this negative sigma's
Speaker 1: attached to dating a lot or going a lot of dates.
Speaker 1: And I think you can make that a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: I mean, don't make it about like hooking up and
Speaker 1: all that, but if you combine them with the activity
Speaker 1: you are ready to do, if you work into your schedule,
Speaker 1: I think you can have a lot of time and
Speaker 1: keep me aggressive. I mean, if she likes the guy
Speaker 1: asked him out, like make that first move fight into
Speaker 1: d M. Uh, whatever your taste nowadays, I guarantee she's
Speaker 1: already slit into your d M. Probably I'll double all right, Alex,
Speaker 1: I have one more burning question for you that everyone
Speaker 1: in the studio and everyone in Bachelor Nation is just
Speaker 1: dying to know. Are we going to see in Mexico
Speaker 1: this summer? Uh? Yeah, probably not. Why not? We want
Speaker 1: to see little hip hop abs down in Mexico. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been flaking a little, but I mean, I'll be honest.
Speaker 1: I actually told the producers I would do it, but
Speaker 1: I don't think they're gonna ask I preach for the
Speaker 1: Captain's already done to the season, So sorry, guys. I'm
Speaker 1: still holding out for Alex for bat here next season. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's all finny. But I probably l a for
Speaker 1: a couple of months of summer just to hang out. Well. Nice, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that you've seen it. Well I'm not sure
Speaker 1: of it, but Jared Nick and I have been making
Speaker 1: these ridiculous Bachelor recaps. We would love to have you
Speaker 1: come in and totally help us out. I know, you're
Speaker 1: actually really funny. I actually I just watched. Uh, I
Speaker 1: didn't see the whole episode, but I saw you guys
Speaker 1: this recap. But it was really funny. I mean, who's
Speaker 1: doing the writing? Is that? Is that all? Nick? It's
Speaker 1: all improv? Man, there's no Yeah, I know you you're
Speaker 1: not that funny. I've been taking some improv classes. I'm
Speaker 1: getting better, all right, are you really? Of course not?
Speaker 1: I don't say I think you keep busy taking out
Speaker 1: of nine X or whatever hip hop AB. I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to catch up to you. But you know it's funny.
Speaker 1: I used to do hip hop AB. Just you're back
Speaker 1: and like college, so that's embarrassing and now no, I'm serious.
Speaker 1: San was a man um. Hey, I'm not gonna I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. Beach Body on Demand. I love it
Speaker 1: still to this day, but killing it all right, Alex, Well,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for calling in, buddy. We miss you.
Speaker 1: Were excited to hang out with you when you get
Speaker 1: to Thank you so much, alex Uh and Julia thanks
Speaker 1: you as well for all of the incredible dating advice
Speaker 1: for girls. Point all right, see, but I'll talk to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was great. Yeah, Alex is super nice. Fun.
Speaker 1: He liked my walking Google. Every time I have a question,
Speaker 1: He'll have the answer for it. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: because he was listening to her. He actually listened. He
Speaker 1: tuned in when I was talking about like freezing my eggs,
Speaker 1: so he sent me this lengthy message about how it's
Speaker 1: not good to freeze your eggs. I'm like, how do
Speaker 1: you know this stuff? Yeah? He was even like all
Speaker 1: Google stuff, all Google stuff, and talk about it, and
Speaker 1: he's like, you should never trust Google. That's wrong, and
Speaker 1: I'll tell you exactly why that's wrong. It's just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: alex Um, I think that I think that Jared can
Speaker 1: attest to dating in a small town. But what I
Speaker 1: was just gonna say totally like, it's interesting we see
Speaker 1: your product, of your product, of your environment when you're
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. One of the first things you asked
Speaker 1: people where you're from, Because everybody comes to Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: everyone asked what do you do? Well, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's where you're from and what do you do compared
Speaker 1: to a place like gross Point, where it's like, where
Speaker 1: where are you from? Well, I'm I was born in
Speaker 1: gross Point and raised in this particular city. And the
Speaker 1: same thing around, Like everybody that is dating in around
Speaker 1: is from around where in Los Angeles. It's like everybody
Speaker 1: that's dating in Los Angeles is from some other part
Speaker 1: of the country that's coming here for work or aspirations
Speaker 1: to be in Hollywood and film and so on and
Speaker 1: so forth. So I don't think people ought to come.
Speaker 1: A lot of people come to Los Angeles for dating
Speaker 1: compared to other parts of the country where you kind
Speaker 1: of like you're born in one part of the country,
Speaker 1: you're raised in one part of the country, you get married.
Speaker 1: That's just kind of the way life works. So that's
Speaker 1: why I think in small counties like this, it's just
Speaker 1: a lot easier to meet somebody get married. But it
Speaker 1: wouldn't been easier. But you know, when people ask you, guys,
Speaker 1: what you do, what do you tell them? Well, I say, well, truthfully,
Speaker 1: in my time is devoted to my charity. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I have a foundation. What do you say, I say,
Speaker 1: I'm unemployed all the time. Yeah, what's the definition of
Speaker 1: being unemployed? If you'd be technically right on that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I think it's funny not working. It's the
Speaker 1: conversation starter. Technically my job, I technically am unemployed. But
Speaker 1: what if you have to fill out a form? Yeah?
Speaker 1: There was, Yeah, there was. I mean, I hate to
Speaker 1: bring a previous relationship into this, but whenever Leslie and I,
Speaker 1: whenever I would meet Leslie's friends, they'd be like, what
Speaker 1: do you do? I like, I'm unemployed, and then she'd
Speaker 1: always she a get so pissed. You'd be like, don't
Speaker 1: tell anyone you're unemployed. I guess it makes sense a
Speaker 1: couple more emails. And by the way, the emails have slowed.
Speaker 1: And I know why this happens every time we started
Speaker 1: the Facebook group. So now people go to the Facebook
Speaker 1: group and they stopped sending us email. Happened with scrubbing
Speaker 1: and and it happened with almost famous. I don't forget
Speaker 1: to email us. Yes, need those emails. Love the emails.
Speaker 1: I suck at dating at iHeartMedia dot com. This is
Speaker 1: from Brittany. She's currently dating a lovely thirty year old teacher.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five. We've been in a number of dates
Speaker 1: and he's very very sweet. He always messages me good morning,
Speaker 1: asked me how my day is going, and plans for
Speaker 1: us to do things, etcetera. I'm starting to wonder if
Speaker 1: he is too nice? Is that even a thing? All
Speaker 1: I want is for someone to treat me right and
Speaker 1: spoil me a little, So why am I second guessing
Speaker 1: someone that actually does those things. I'm really not sure
Speaker 1: what to think. Any advice is very much appreciated. Sending
Speaker 1: love from Australia. I've never been to Australia. I've been
Speaker 1: my honeymoon was in Australia. Family in Australia and I
Speaker 1: have to go visit. Wait. I always say, Brittany, be
Speaker 1: careful what you wish for because you just you might
Speaker 1: get it. So if you want a nice guy, you
Speaker 1: end up with the nice guy, but now you have
Speaker 1: what you want and you want something more. So I
Speaker 1: feel like that's the yeah. And if you have like
Speaker 1: an ale, then you're gonna want the nice guy. So
Speaker 1: it's always like we want what we can have, and
Speaker 1: then once we have it, you want something different. So
Speaker 1: if he's giving you what I want, I want a
Speaker 1: guy who's gonna call me in the morning, he's gonna
Speaker 1: wish me good night, and you know it's gonna be
Speaker 1: sweet to me, and and want the same things out
Speaker 1: of life. I mean, man, not going forward. I say,
Speaker 1: you know, every once in a while, like your relationships
Speaker 1: will go through your ups and downs, and maybe right
Speaker 1: now you're going through one of your downs, but there's
Speaker 1: always going to be an up. So sometimes it's it's
Speaker 1: too good to be true, but it's just that good,
Speaker 1: Like it just works. He seems like a really nice guy.
Speaker 1: Don't overthink it. Yeah, sometimes you overthink it. I think
Speaker 1: some of it too boils down to maybe you just
Speaker 1: don't really know what you want. Like I kind of
Speaker 1: the same way. I thought that I knew what I
Speaker 1: wanted in a relationship and then you end up kind
Speaker 1: of getting it. You're like, I don't know this is
Speaker 1: what I want anymore, And I think it's human beings
Speaker 1: were always waiting for the ball to drop. You're like, no,
Speaker 1: something bad's gonna happen, Something bad's gonna happen. This can't
Speaker 1: be this can't be this good. It's kind of bracing
Speaker 1: for impact, of course, I think. I mean Jared's right.
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes it's too good to be true, but
Speaker 1: it's true. So just like kind of let it be
Speaker 1: what it is to be until something bad happens. Exactly.
Speaker 1: It sounds like this guy is pretty cool three years old,
Speaker 1: he's a teacher, he's treating you really well, exactly, and
Speaker 1: it's early on too, so maybe he's really trying to
Speaker 1: prove himself to be like, hey, I really like you.
Speaker 1: I want to show that this is real and this
Speaker 1: is something I want to work towards and move forward with.
Speaker 1: So maybe he's just kind of like amping it up
Speaker 1: a little bit because it's still early in all, and
Speaker 1: he's like, no, you're I want this to move forward
Speaker 1: with you. And there is such a thing as too nice.
Speaker 1: I'm too nice, There is too nice. I'm so nice
Speaker 1: you guys, I'm like the nicest person. I'm just kidding, No,
Speaker 1: But there definitely is the thing that's too nice. I
Speaker 1: think we talked about it earlier about how you're two
Speaker 1: nice to really hurt somebody's feelings. But I don't think
Speaker 1: there is too nice. I think there's someone for everyone.
Speaker 1: So for the person that you, you might not want
Speaker 1: someone who's too nice. You might want someone who has
Speaker 1: a little bit of spice in them, you know, spice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I I I think there's someone for everyone. So
Speaker 1: I don't think there's a I don't think there's someone
Speaker 1: that could be too nice. But Vanessa, what about the
Speaker 1: thing where women are attracted to the bad boy, the
Speaker 1: guy that maybe doesn't treat them quite as well and
Speaker 1: they find that more Also for guys too, Like we
Speaker 1: all want a challenge, right, we want someone who like
Speaker 1: constantly makes us feel like we're on our toes and
Speaker 1: we don't really know like where we stand, and it's
Speaker 1: kind of like the chase, And once the chase is gone,
Speaker 1: it's like I'm bored because she's feeling she's bored because
Speaker 1: he's too easy, He's just there. Well, I also think,
Speaker 1: like I think girls just like confidence, and I think
Speaker 1: bad boys have a lot of confidence, and I think
Speaker 1: that's where it comes from. But I also think that
Speaker 1: fizzles out. I don't know where your thoughts about that
Speaker 1: finesse are. Yeah, I think that gets old fast. It's
Speaker 1: like an a media attraction, exactly a media attraction, and
Speaker 1: it just fades out because you're like, I hate this
Speaker 1: and this really sucks. On the flip side, for a
Speaker 1: do you think a girl could be too nice if
Speaker 1: you were a guy? Oh, totally, of course it can
Speaker 1: be too nice. A girl too nice? Yes, I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to think of it. So, my former girlfriend from
Speaker 1: years ago was one of the nicest people I've ever
Speaker 1: met my entire life to this day. One of the
Speaker 1: things that I admire so much about her is whenever
Speaker 1: she met someone, that person would walk away with like
Speaker 1: a smile on their face, like, Oh my gosh, what
Speaker 1: an incredible human being, And I always kind of look
Speaker 1: at her. Is not too nice by any means. She
Speaker 1: was like the epitome, like the height of excellence when
Speaker 1: it comes to niceness, and I was one of the
Speaker 1: things that attracted me her most. So I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: think that a girl could be too nice. I'm sure
Speaker 1: she could. I think if she's texting you all the
Speaker 1: time with hearts and everything, bringing you cookies at a
Speaker 1: regular basis, like you're trying to maybe I don't know,
Speaker 1: I think that it could be smothering at a certain
Speaker 1: point when they're that nice and attentive to you. Well,
Speaker 1: I also think in terms of being too nice, like
Speaker 1: Vanessa said, I want somebody who can challenge me, and
Speaker 1: so I think sometimes when you're being too nice, you
Speaker 1: therefore don't challenge your partner in certain ways. And that
Speaker 1: bothers me because I'm like, no, no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: want you to state your opinion. I don't want you
Speaker 1: to be nice to me. I don't want you to
Speaker 1: worry about hurting my feelings. I want you to tell
Speaker 1: me what you're actually feeling in this moment. And to
Speaker 1: that point in the relationship that I was just describing,
Speaker 1: there was an emotional disconnect because there was just it
Speaker 1: was just positivity all the time. And I remember there
Speaker 1: was one time, uh, there was like an emotional thing
Speaker 1: that was happening with her parents, like they were discussing
Speaker 1: a divorce, and I was like sitting down, like please,
Speaker 1: let's talk about it, Like this is difficult, I know,
Speaker 1: but we need to talk about this, like for your sake,
Speaker 1: for our sake, for our relationship sake. And it was
Speaker 1: just one of those things where we're like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: like we're not gonna like we didn't talk about it
Speaker 1: because our relationship was too nice. Yes, is the way
Speaker 1: to put it. Um, So yeah, I think it's It
Speaker 1: kind of works both ways, of course. So for Brittany,
Speaker 1: we're saying you sound is great. He doesn't sound too nice,
Speaker 1: but we don't know if he's the one for you
Speaker 1: or not. Only you can answer that question. I keep
Speaker 1: going with it, certainly. Don't like be scared that, oh
Speaker 1: it's too nice, it's too good, it's all gonna fall apart.
Speaker 1: Don't be scared of that. Just keep going see where
Speaker 1: it goes. Fatima has a question for the guys. I'm
Speaker 1: glad we got this one because I wanted to ask.
Speaker 1: This is good. This may be a stupid, embarrassing question.
Speaker 1: When guys send emojis, do they question what emoji to
Speaker 1: send a girl and whether it's friendly or if it's flirty.
Speaker 1: Do guys struggle with sending the right or proper emoji?
Speaker 1: Or is it just me? She says, there's a guy
Speaker 1: occasionally message and I can't figure out if he's being
Speaker 1: friendly or being flirty when we message each other. He
Speaker 1: sometimes sends me a message that I see as flirty,
Speaker 1: but then he uses emojis that I consider friendly. I
Speaker 1: showed my cousin the messages and she said, he's just
Speaker 1: confused and doesn't know what he feels. So emojis, do
Speaker 1: guys put the kind of thought into them that women
Speaker 1: put into them? I love emojis. I'm pro emoji. I
Speaker 1: use emojis in every single text, even like to my
Speaker 1: guy friends. I'm sending to my brother, I'll send emojis
Speaker 1: and he's even called me out for that before too.
Speaker 1: He's like, bro, stop sending me emojis. I love them.
Speaker 1: I think they're great. I'll even like send like a
Speaker 1: long message and then just followed it up with a
Speaker 1: couple of smiley faces after it. Yeah, you just want
Speaker 1: to be like because you know how when you just
Speaker 1: send an emoji, it's like three times the size is
Speaker 1: if you started texts, I like the big ones until
Speaker 1: I'll send them separately sometimes and especially like I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's fun to It's like a good way to convey
Speaker 1: the way that you're feeling. It makes it spices up
Speaker 1: the conversation of your text. I don't personally think I
Speaker 1: put a lot of thought into it, but I am
Speaker 1: a very big emoji user, and Vanessa as a girl,
Speaker 1: if a guy sends you emojis about that one, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think now that I'm getting older, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'd rather not send me emoji. But let me let
Speaker 1: me say. I'm not saying like winky faces or anything
Speaker 1: like that. I like my favorite favorite, my favorite emojis,
Speaker 1: then I know it's I like the huggy emoji. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like the awkward like smiling emoji, the crying and
Speaker 1: the laughing emoji. The wait, what's a flirtatious emoji? The
Speaker 1: one where the tongue is sticking out like that's a
Speaker 1: little aggressive. Think no, no, no, no, like it's like yeah,
Speaker 1: like no, that's like crazy, that's like that. Interpret That's
Speaker 1: the issue too, especially over a text message. Everything can
Speaker 1: be interpreted differently with because it's it lacks tone. Uh.
Speaker 1: At one point, the laughing one, I thought it was
Speaker 1: a crying one, so I would send that and people
Speaker 1: thought I was laughing, but I was crying. Okay, that
Speaker 1: can be easily confused. That's not working. But you're right.
Speaker 1: Everybody interprets it differently, so it's like, who the hell
Speaker 1: the friendly one, the smirky ones, flirty, smirking, yeah, like
Speaker 1: damn bro, Yeah, I want to go through mine now.
Speaker 1: I think the one with the tongue out is kind
Speaker 1: of like this one has a couple of different ones.
Speaker 1: That one's more like fun one with one eye opened,
Speaker 1: one eye closed, tongue out. But there's also one with
Speaker 1: the eyes are are are yes eyes are sideways and
Speaker 1: the tongue is out, and that it's also this one.
Speaker 1: There's also the purple one with the horns. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: very devilish. Yeah that's all. No, No, I find just
Speaker 1: the simple ones, like the cute, like smiley one, like this,
Speaker 1: the one, um so definitely that one, the poop one, uh,
Speaker 1: the wink one, and the one that they're doing this
Speaker 1: what's that described to our listeners? What the hell you
Speaker 1: just did? Like? Oh yeah, what is that for? You.
Speaker 1: I know someone that the emojis blushing. I don't gonna
Speaker 1: say his name. Um anyways, long story short of that segment,
Speaker 1: I'm pro emoji. Do you text? Actually no, no, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm really into now. I guess sometimes but
Speaker 1: very very very yeah, I send this to like no,
Speaker 1: oh god, no, no, you don't like no. I had
Speaker 1: this entire conversation roommate and it was a really cute
Speaker 1: guy that sent her a bit mojy. She's like, all right,
Speaker 1: so she stopped texting him. I was aggressive. You can't
Speaker 1: come out of the gates with a bit moody. But
Speaker 1: I think once you guys like establish a rapport. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you're kind of funny. We also need to establish
Speaker 1: that there's never been a person who looks like their
Speaker 1: bit moogy, no matter how much you think you look
Speaker 1: like your boy except four, didn't you say, except for
Speaker 1: Erica or someone looks like they're bitmoji. Now maybe Erica
Speaker 1: came in she was like, I look just like, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I get that often that. I think the advice for
Speaker 1: her if they not overthink this as much, not necessarily
Speaker 1: because he's not overthinking it. He might be overthinking it,
Speaker 1: but everybody interprets them differently, and that's the problem. It's
Speaker 1: like sprinkling a piece of pizza with some like pepper flakes.
Speaker 1: It just adds to the flavor a little bit. It's
Speaker 1: not it doesn't really mean anything. It's not like centrally
Speaker 1: like crucial to pizza and clouds. Today we learned a
Speaker 1: lot about Would you like to know the top five emojis? Yes,
Speaker 1: this is a data from seventeen. Number five I was
Speaker 1: the heart, Number four was winking face. Number three the
Speaker 1: smiling face with smiling eyes. The number two is the
Speaker 1: loudly crying face, no but sad facing. Oh yeah, mouth dawn.
Speaker 1: And the number one emoji. Let's guess that. Can we
Speaker 1: guess it? Go ahead, guess one. The laugh emoji. It's
Speaker 1: the smiling face with open mouth and smiling eyes. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think it's just the smiling Sorry, it's just like this.
Speaker 1: It's the normal smiling but his eyes are like this.
Speaker 1: Eyes are a fun fact for you. The number one
Speaker 1: emoji in America because this is not poop, but it's vomit. Nope,
Speaker 1: what the hell it means something that is not intended
Speaker 1: to mean, right, listen to this. Definitely flirtation. This is
Speaker 1: going to make your day. Canada uses the Poopa moji
Speaker 1: the most who funk? Well? Does that do it? For
Speaker 1: this episode? The last episode of Vanessa's summer in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna miss you. But the good thing is
Speaker 1: we'll talk. We'll talk on the phone every no, but
Speaker 1: it won't be the same. Oh no, it's never going
Speaker 1: to be the same. Who's driving me home today? Are
Speaker 1: we just? What? But I done it for our show? Well, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for your stint co hosting the podcast.
Speaker 1: It was fun while it lasted. Well, she'll still be here,
Speaker 1: not in person, but just over the phone. I'm sorry, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: but this is sorry. Right now, it still looks like
Speaker 1: it's your podcast. It's yours. Dean kicked me out earlier
Speaker 1: in the podcast, and now he's kicked out Vanessa. It
Speaker 1: feels good to have power. Humb uh um. Yeah, Well
Speaker 1: it was fun, I mean have fun hosting your own
Speaker 1: podcast from Montreal. That'll do it for this episode of
Speaker 1: help I Suck at dating. I'm Vanessa and I'm going
Speaker 1: to miss you. Guys, We're gonna miss you. And I'm Jared,
Speaker 1: and I'm Dean and a big thank you to Omaha
Speaker 1: Stakes for their delicious delicious steaks. Be sure to send
Speaker 1: something to your father for Father's Day. I'm sure he's
Speaker 1: gonna love it. Um what Mark said earlier. We have
Speaker 1: a Facebook group. Be sure to subscribe, but we still
Speaker 1: need listening to emails to be sent to I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating at I heeart Media dot com. Um, I
Speaker 1: forgot to fill out my first week of the Bachelor brackett.
Speaker 1: I think you we gotta do that. We're gonna be
Speaker 1: on there next week. We've fill out the Brackett. We're
Speaker 1: gonna be interactive. We're gonna be there for the Facebook group.
Speaker 1: Thank you everybody for joining that Facebook. And we still
Speaker 1: have not figured out a prize. Perhaps we can just
Speaker 1: put our heads together and get one for you to
Speaker 1: settle for next week. Um, but there will be a prize.
Speaker 1: There will be a prize. Anyways, I'll do it for
Speaker 1: this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating. This
Speaker 1: has been Vanessa, Jared and Dean. Be sure to tune
Speaker 1: in next week where we'll be Vanessa list but we'll
Speaker 1: suck a little bit less. Follow Help I Sucket Dating
Speaker 1: with Dean Anglert on I Heart radio, or subscribe wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts. H