WEBVTT - Keep It In The Past 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.320 Welcome to Can'tflee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:04.160 the Black Effects. 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:17.840 Oh shit, we want to hear. 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.880 Okay, welcome back to yet another episode of Canfully Reckless 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:25.400 Season four. We're in season four, guys, I'm so excited 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:28.600 to announce that we're gonna jump straight into it. We 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:31.240 have no voice memos. Y'all just don't respect me at 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:32.839 this point. Y'all want me to read and mess up 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:38.440 and try to catch all errors before y'all even my gosh, 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:42.400 y'are so stressful. I'm done before even start. But I'm 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:46.200 about to start right now. So this story Cater's Surprise Month. 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.360 I'm very proud to announce that as well. I mean, 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:52.080 I'm not gay, but I'm proud to announce that. Okay, 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:55.120 so here we are. I'm a longtime listener, so you 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:56.840 were the first one I thought about when I heard 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:57.360 this news. 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:00.480 Okay, I'm going to make this short. Sweet. 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:03.480 I've been dating this guy for about four years now, 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:05.520 and he recently told me that he had a couple 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:09.160 of sexual experiences with transsexual women when he was in 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:09.759 his twenties. 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:11.280 We are both in our forties. 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.080 I am definitely an open minded person and believe that 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:17.520 everyone has the right to explore. I also don't necessarily 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.880 like the double standard when it comes to women exploring. 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:23.160 But am I wrong for feeling a little bit weird 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:25.200 about the fact that he had an entire dick in 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:25.640 his mouth? 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:29.160 Damn No, you're not. Sis. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.520 He says that it was just an exploration and that 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:35.760 he is not attracted to men. Would you believe that? 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.600 What would you do in this situation? I really need 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:41.800 some other opinions about this. Please keep me anonymous, and 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:44.200 thank you so much. Oh baby, I definitely wouldn't be 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.679 like so Shara said, hard nigga be having big dix 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:48.360 in his mouth. No, I'm not going to ever put 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.640 you all day like that, okay, But her name is 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:52.800 not Charrey, y'all. That was just me giving an example 0:01:52.800 --> 0:01:55.520 of me Aaron out who tells me their stories. 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:56.600 I would never do that. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:00.920 That's why you remain anonymous, Okay. The fact that you 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.400 are open minded and that you said you believe that 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:06.960 everyone has the right to explore. I do understand that, 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:10.359 but that goes to a certain extent because while you're 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:15.000 that way, you also said you just m you just 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:16.800 can't get over the fact that he had an entire 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:21.840 dick in his mouth, although he said that he was 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:26.959 just exploring how many dicks did he have in his mouth? 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:29.320 They'd lets you know that, Oh, was this just you know, 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.200 a one time, little dingling thing, like you know what 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:36.959 I'm saying, Like, how many times did he actually do this? 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:40.239 And then two that shouldn't even be a question, sis, 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:43.040 because he actually did keep it a buck with you, 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:46.200 and he told you that he had a couple of 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:50.040 sexual experiences with transsexual women, you know, and transsexual women 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:55.680 they still have the penis, you know, transgendered women, they don't, 0:02:56.120 --> 0:03:00.400 you know what I'm saying, So we Yeah, he at 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:05.240 one point was attracted to transsexuals when he was in 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:07.160 his twenties. Now y'all both in y'all forty, so this 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:10.360 was twenty years ago, of course. And I mean, I 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.560 love the fact that he was honest with you, and 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:16.000 I I'm and I'm assuming that he was honest upfront 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:19.600 and that this didn't come after y'all started fucking and 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.480 catching feelings and y'all were already intimate with each other 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:26.079 and already were in a relationship something like that. I 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.640 hope that that wasn't the case. However, you did not 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.920 let me know, so I'm just going to assume that 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:33.960 he told you that shit up front. You know, a 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:36.720 lot of guys they feel like they don't need to 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:39.480 bring up their past, especially about something like this that was, 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:41.520 you know, over twenty years ago. 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:43.440 So I do respect him in that sense. 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.920 However, just like you, some things I just can't get over, 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:50.480 Like if you know, if I were you, you know, 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:53.000 and in your shoes and open minded and you know, 0:03:53.080 --> 0:03:57.560 and I'm okay with dating someone who has explored that 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:05.120 if that worthy case, I don't know. I can't even see. 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:05.600 That's the thing. 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:10.080 I can't even put myself in your shoes because I 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:10.600 don't know. 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:14.720 I can't. I just I really love to go there 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:15.400 with you, guys. 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:18.919 I love to put myself in your shoes, but I 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:23.800 can't even imagine a man saying that to me, like, 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.280 you know, hey, I just want to let you know 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.960 when I was I'm you know, we're forty now, but 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:32.320 when I was twenty, I did used to have sexual 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:37.240 encounters with transsexual women. You know, I would be like, Okay, 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:42.560 I'm glad that you are honest, but this is either 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.400 the last time you're ever going to see me or 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:47.680 we just have to be friends from that, you know, 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:50.960 because he gave you a choice. Honestly, he gave you 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.520 a choice by telling you. I think that's what he 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:56.400 was doing. He was not giving you a way out, 0:04:56.400 --> 0:04:58.920 but giving you an option because some men they won't 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:01.840 tell you that shit. But now fast forward to y'all 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:02.840 being y'all forties. 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:05.880 You said that he said that he's not attracted the men. 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:06.760 What about it? 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:09.599 Don't you trust the fact that he did give a 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:12.120 man oral pleasures before, like oral sex? 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.160 Like what about it? 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:16.560 I mean, because one part of it can't discuss you 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.160 to the point where you just want to leave him alone. 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:22.120 It has to be all parts, Like so, are you 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:23.120 more okay with. 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:29.400 Him bending one of the trans women over than you 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.880 are about him having the penis of a trans in 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:38.120 his mouth? Like I because it just seems like that 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:39.440 that's the only thing in the back of your mind, 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.600 like you suck to dick beffore, like that's what seems 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.320 like it runs through your mind, but not him actually 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:50.000 laying down having sex with a transsexual woman. And then 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:51.800 it's like, I want to tell you, you can't like 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:55.320 be upset about one part without being upset at all 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:57.960 of it, or you know, or having second thoughts about 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:01.520 one part without having second thoughts about all of it. 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:04.760 But I mean, you asked me what you should do. 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:06.560 I think if that's going to always be in the 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:08.800 back of your mind, you have to be honest enough 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:10.920 with him, like he was honest enough with you to 0:06:11.040 --> 0:06:11.960 let you in on his past. 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:13.919 Because think about it, somebody else could have told you. 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.279 Y'all could be out one day walking in the park, 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:20.159 you know, and one of his ex exes or you know, 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:23.880 former buddies come up and be like, yeah, I was 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:27.320 fucking your nigga, and he'd be like, ah when and 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:29.960 he'd be like, oh, it's twenty years ago. But yeah, 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.279 Then what you're gonna do. You're gonna sit there and 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:35.080 be like, well that was twenty years ago, you know. 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:37.040 And what if he was like, no, he suck my deck, 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.000 then you're like, oh my god. So girl, you gotta 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.880 think about it. You gotta really really think about it, 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:46.680 because maybe maybe you're not ready for what you thought 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.479 you was, you know, and that's okay. As women, you know, 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:53.279 we get a little confused sometimes. You know, maybe you 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:54.919 do love him, but if that's going to be in 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:59.279 the back of your mind, sweetheart, I say, move on 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:02.760 and be honest with him, you know, because you do 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:03.320 owe him that. 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:06.880 Okay, keep me updated. 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:09.600 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:10.600 then we'll be right back. 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:13.080 Okay. 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.760 I am a seventeen year old woman who lives in Nigeria. 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:18.960 I was born in the US, but I am from 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:22.440 Congo and have spent most of my life living in Africa. 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:24.800 I'm in the serious need of your help. Oh wait 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:26.960 a minute, is this about some money, because I don't. 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:31.320 Oh well, okay, girl, Well you start off like that 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:33.360 and it be like I'm in serious need of your help. 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.960 It's like, oh no, no, no, no, okay, Okay. 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:39.400 My dad is cheating on my mom, who is currently 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:41.480 in North America trying to find a job so we 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:46.760 can finance me going to university. Okay, this is not 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:50.240 the first time my father has been unfaithful. Once my 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.400 mom packed her bags and threatened to leave, he begged 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:56.120 her on his dusty as knees not to go. 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:57.560 I know it's right. 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:00.840 I had to carry her thirty pounds suit up the 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:04.040 stairs when she decided to stay, and I was only twelve. 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:05.400 Okay. 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.600 The same thing happened about two years later, but this 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:11.800 time she went back to Cameroon, threatened to divorce him, 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:14.800 but was magically cooking his favorite meal in the kitchen 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:15.800 two months later. 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:18.119 Oh, I see what are we going? Okay? 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:22.040 My dad's infidelity has been a consistent issue in their marriage, 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:24.320 and I know my mom will not leave him. He's 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:26.000 a good father most of the time, and I could 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.600 care less if they are together or not, because I 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:32.720 honestly think they're better parents when they are apart. About 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:35.000 two years ago, when we were moving to a new 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:38.520 city in Nigeria, we lived alone with my dad. I 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.600 had to do all the motherly duties which I am 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:48.360 used to modern slavery type things. Girl, okay, okay, baby. 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:50.040 He was cheating then too. 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:53.000 I found condoms in the trash can and he was 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:56.920 coming late every night. I decided to mind my own 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:59.199 business as I had my own shit to deal with, 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:01.720 and honestly, I was hoping my mother was doing her 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:05.120 thing as well. This time is different, as I am 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.319 too soon to leave the house and I can't have 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:11.079 my brother having to pick up after my sloppy, horny father. 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:17.200 I'm sorry, I do not mean. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:19.080 To laugh I'm just trying to figure out what is 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.960 the problem, Like you know what I'm saying, Like, okay, 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:24.079 because it seems like more of a ventcing session. But 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:26.000 I got you, baby, I'm gonna keep going because it's 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:30.040 about four more progress, all right. He is so disrespectful 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.360 and does not even have the decency to cover his tracks. 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.720 He bought cheap ass condoms when we went grocery shopping 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.360 and thought he was slick making me go get salad 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:45.679 while he quickly paid for it. We are a carnivorous family. Yeah, okay, girl, 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.240 so do everybody else. You don't have to You don't 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.200 have to say we are a carnivorous family. 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:52.800 Oh, let me finish. Okay. 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:57.200 Nobody in this bitch eats salads. Oh a girl. I'm like, 0:09:57.559 --> 0:09:59.280 all right, but you and I have to say we're not. 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.199 We are a carnivorous family. 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:06.160 Like, girl, okay, so technical, I know she's going to college. 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.560 Okay, Nobody in his bitch eats salads. 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:12.280 Later that night, he gave me the receipt to throw 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:15.480 away and I saw condoms written at the top of 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:18.800 the receipt. His first chaps were his priority before our 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:23.600 school snacks. He has come home twice with dirty cheats 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:28.280 that have wet spots on them, dirty draws you mean 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:31.720 that have wet spots on them, and he asked me 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:33.720 to put them in the washing machine so it can 0:10:33.920 --> 0:10:38.320 be ready for the next bitch. STDs still exist, they 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:41.000 certainly did. I am not an idiot. I am not 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:42.560 one of the boys, so I don't know why he 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:43.840 thinks it's okay to. 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:45.760 Be so oblivious with his adultery. 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:48.280 I don't want to tell my mom as she won't 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:50.960 leave him and she is just going to be stressed 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:53.280 out on the other side of the world, all right, 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:55.560 because your mom is in North America and your dad 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:58.560 is somewhere else. Okay, this is none of my business, 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:00.599 so do so what the fuck is you telling me for? 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.440 But I am already stressed out with school and teenager shit, 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.720 so him adding this to my plate is revolting. I 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.359 already think men are trash, and he is just reinforcing 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:14.600 that narrative for me. If I don't tell my mom, 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:17.800 I also fear bad karma might come to me. But 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:20.560 I also feel as though telling her selfish of me, 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.440 as it would just relieve my guilt. 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:24.199 Hmm. 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:29.800 I need help, my friends ain't shit, respectfully, damn, And 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.920 I go to a predominantly white school, so I could 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:35.880 barely afford my scholarship. 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:40.319 The counselors and teachers there are no use. Girl. 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:43.000 You did a good job of making your life sound 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.800 like the most shittiest of all shit lives in the world. Honey, 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:49.160 hold up, Hold up. I know this shit getting good. 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:51.480 But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:56.120 If you love me, you'll listen, Like, let me tell 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:58.280 you something. I'm not gonna say we all have a 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:02.520 cheating father, because you know, I don't know about everybody, 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:06.760 but yes, I had a cheating father. And the reason 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:07.880 why I say, hey, this is because he's not a 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:10.200 cheater anymore. My mom end up getting the strength to 0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:14.520 leave after just you know, after many, many, many affairs 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:17.120 or whatever. But like your mom will get the strength 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:18.839 to leave. I do understand. I thought the same thing 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.360 about my mom at first. You know, my mother gonna 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:23.360 listen to this like bitch. First of all, don't try, 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:28.520 you know, but yeah, I think that. You know, every 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:31.080 woman has a breaking point, and who's to say that 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.160 your mom is not doing her you know, but still 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:34.800 in love with your father, you know, what I'm saying. 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:36.600 Who's to say that your dad is not in love 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.040 with his wife but he's still doing him? 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:39.760 You know what I'm saying. 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:43.520 And who's to say that this is not this comes 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:45.040 from This is deeply rooted. 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:45.920 You get what I'm saying. 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:50.199 Like this is like generational although men at a certain age, man, 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.720 you should know right for wrong. You got a woman 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:54.920 that's down for you. You got a wife, you cannot 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.360 cheat on her. That's just how some men are wired. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:01.520 You get what I'm saying. As far as you complaining 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:03.360 about all the things you had to do for your mom, 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:04.120 I get it. 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.120 I get it. But you are a child just like 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:07.559 she your mother. You get what I'm saying. 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:10.920 You talk about carrying thirty pound bags up to the listen, 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:12.680 let me tell you something right now, my son is 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:16.880 twelve years old. I ain't lifting shit around that little boy, 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:20.640 you understand. Yeah, so we gonna carry thirty forty fifty 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:24.160 pound bags for me too. I get it, I understand. 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:26.800 But I'm gonna let you know you do sound like 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:28.240 a brad a little bit, you know what I mean? 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:29.960 Because they still trying to figure out how they can 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:32.560 pay for you to get to school. To get through school. 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:35.000 I get it. Your friends ain't shit. Get rid of them, 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.800 make some new ones. You understand what I'm saying. Everything 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:41.600 you told me is solvable. Everything you told me is solvable. 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:45.680 It just seems like the only real, real, real issue. 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.360 And I'm not discrediting you for anything that you're going through, 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.520 But the real issue is that you really really have 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:55.560 a herding bone from your dad, like and I think 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:59.679 that that should result to therapy whenever you're ready. I 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.080 know you probably like, hell no, because you fed up 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:04.439 with him. You only got one mom. He cheating on her, 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:06.760 Ben cheating on her. She ain't strong enough to leave, 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:07.760 what have you? 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.080 Whatever? You know what I'm saying, I understand. 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:14.000 But you can clearly learn not to be that woman 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.280 from your mom. But we don't know what all she 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:19.320 dealing with either. Do you talk to your mom? Do 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:21.880 you see what else she going through? All this moving 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:23.880 back and forth and shit, trying to be a mom, 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:26.800 trying to provide, still trying to be a wife. 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:28.040 At the end of the day, you. 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:30.720 Said she was cooking his favorite meal two months after 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:33.960 catching him cheating. Trusting me, I get all of that shit. 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.800 I've seen it myself, so I get it. 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:37.560 I get it. 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:41.240 Figure out how to get a job as well. Like 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:44.040 you know what I'm saying. You got teenage shit going on, 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:46.920 Go get yourself a job, you know what I mean? 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:49.680 Because at some point, if we see we can't rely 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:52.440 on our parents, we got to make a happen for ourselves. 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:54.760 We can't sit in salk in misery. You understand what 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:58.880 I'm saying. So fuck all that teenage shit. I understand. 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:01.400 I understand. But if you got people that ain't shit, 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:04.040 drop them. You're still young. You got a lot of 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.680 life to live. Go get you a job. Help your 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:07.400 parents put. 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.360 You through school. Help your mother put you through school. 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:11.400 I guarantee you you won't regret it, because this is 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:12.200 your future. 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:14.120 It ain't theirs, it's yours. You know. 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:17.680 Sometimes as kids, we feel very entitled, you know, and 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:21.840 we always say things, you know, we always feel that 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:24.520 our parents should be doing this or should be doing that, 0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:27.320 And no, it's my parents' job, all right. If they 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:29.160 ain't doing it, who's gonna do it? You? 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.400 So get yourself together, you understand what I'm saying. 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.200 Figure out exactly what you need to do to man 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:36.160 that relationship with your father. You know what I mean, 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.880 and it has to be a two player game. It 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:42.160 can't be just you. It don't even seem like it's 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.560 gonna be just you. You know what I'm saying Now, 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:49.120 I will say him putting you through shit like giving 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.640 you a receipt where you did see that condoms were 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.240 on there, or him making you go buy salad even 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.400 though y'all be eating meat and shit, you know what 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:59.200 I mean, just so you wouldn't see him by the 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.840 condoms and shit, or him making you wash his dirty 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.040 drawers and shit, and all of that type of shit. 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:07.560 These are the things that you can bring up to him. 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:09.400 You get what I'm saying. You got to bring this 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:11.280 type of shit up, whether you do it in a 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:14.080 therapy session, whether you do it in a conversation with 0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:17.080 just you and your dad or whatever. You know. But 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:18.920 I just want, I want, I need y'all to get 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:22.600 past that hump one day in your life, because just 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:24.280 like you get one mom, you got one dad. 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:26.760 You know, you get one dad. 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.400 Now they are father figures and they're our mother figures, 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:31.480 but we get one set of. 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:33.800 Parents that created us. 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.720 You know, most high we have to think for that first, 0:16:37.880 --> 0:16:43.480 But we have parents that are responsible for our DNA, 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:47.160 for you know, our living, our existence. So you might 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:49.720 want to, you know, a little older, if you get 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.960 a little older, because you are only seventeen, you get older, 0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:56.280 You're definitely gonna appreciate what I'm telling you. And I 0:16:56.360 --> 0:17:00.360 know you probably cussing my ass out, but sweetee, make 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.480 it happen. You're seventeen, you about to be eighteen, Like 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.320 I said, drop them goddamn friends to ain't shit, because 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.360 if they ain't shit now, they ain't gonna be shpit later, 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:11.000 you know, until they grow up too, you know, and 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:15.720 then see somebody. I think, even just for yourself individually, 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:19.320 you seem like you got a lot, a lot going on, 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.720 and you being your head a lot and you amplify 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:25.480 shit a lot. Amplifies just a fancy word for dramatize, 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:28.120 like you seem like a drama queen. Dramatic as how 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:31.879 in here talk about girl? You know what you wrote 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:35.040 to me? You so dramatic, spoiled ass, but either way, 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:37.359 either way talk about I had to do all the 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:40.320 motherly duties girl, cook. 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:42.359 And clean and on it. If you was out on 0:17:42.400 --> 0:17:44.080 your own, who the fuck would do it for you? 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:52.000 Exactly exactly man, I remember when I was seventeen. Nah 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.880 my main't cook dinner every night. I was making that shit. 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:58.040 My brother five years older than me, we making that shit. 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:01.040 Were trying to figure out how we feed ourselves a 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.119 mom like you know what I'm saying. Like now, we 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:05.840 weren't poor or anything like that, but our mom went 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.480 to school, she worked, she had her own business, she 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:11.320 was heavy in the church. Our dad worked two and 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:14.800 three jobs. We had sometimes we had to fend for ourself, 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:17.760 and our parents taught us how to do that. So 0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:20.399 just watching them taught us. You know, we were visual 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:23.520 learners to this shit. So that's just how it is. 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.840 My little sister now, she's twenty now, but my little 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:30.440 sister been raising herself since she was like sixteen years old. 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:33.040 You get what I'm saying. No, it ain't right, but 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:33.719 it's okay. 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:37.960 In the words of Whitney Houston, okay and ain't right, 0:18:38.080 --> 0:18:40.240 but it will be okay. And trust me, one day 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:41.600 you're gonna look back and you can be like, man, 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:44.840 I was able to do that shit myself, So check 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:47.840 in with me. I'm sorry if I'm Ajor Loys mad, 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:50.160 because I know you get mad. He said, we don't 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:55.680 even eat sale it in this bitch as eat all 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:57.639 types of shit high, he said, go get it, sell it, 0:18:57.760 --> 0:18:58.840 and go get a sell it for me. 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.520 Ain't slipping my fucking connubs up in the beg sy. 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:07.359 All right, my big but shit girl, I gotta make 0:19:07.400 --> 0:19:09.840 your laugh some type of way because you're gonna head 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:13.240 give yourself a little all to tack, honey. But check 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:17.400 back in with me, sweetheart, and pray so God can 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:21.800 send help on Dewey. If you pray, help will be 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:25.679 on Dewey. Remember that, if you pray, help will be 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:26.200 on Dewey. 0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:28.160 Oh my God. 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:35.360