1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,960
Speaker 1: What's up you guys. It's Eric and Mila and guess what.

2
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:10,960
Speaker 2: We're having a live show Atlanta and it's coming up

3
00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:12,320
Speaker 2: rather rapidly.

4
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 1: So quick, y'all, and we are so excited. Make sure

5
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:20,319
Speaker 1: you get those tickets. Book those babysitters, come out, have

6
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:25,160
Speaker 1: a drink, laugh, connect. We have some dope ass guests coming.

7
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,720
Speaker 1: We're really excited. We have Shenisia from Black Mom's Blog.

8
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,640
Speaker 3: We have Lauren Williams from Real Housewives of Atlanta.

9
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,280
Speaker 1: So come through to bq E Lounge.

10
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,440
Speaker 3: Also Danielle from Marriage and Martini's podcast.

11
00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:44,279
Speaker 2: We'll be joining us, so be sure to come kick it.

12
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,800
Speaker 2: We're looking forward to seeing you.

13
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:49,280
Speaker 3: Our gift bags, our VIP bags are really popping. There's

14
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,040
Speaker 3: a lot of shit up in there and every ready

15
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:52,959
Speaker 3: to connect.

16
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,160
Speaker 1: You can buy tickets on our Instagram at Good Mom's Underscore,

17
00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,880
Speaker 1: Bad Choices and all your friends.

18
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:44,160
Speaker 4: Hi, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices America. And

19
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,600
Speaker 4: I'm Nila and it's Wednesday, y'all.

20
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,640
Speaker 1: Hey, Happy Wednesday. I hope you guys are having a

21
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,960
Speaker 1: good week so far, setting those intentions, conquering your goals,

22
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,800
Speaker 1: staying positive, putting yourself first, Like we talked about two

23
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:04,120
Speaker 1: episodes ago, drink water, considering yourself, because that's the most

24
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:08,040
Speaker 1: important thing you can do. We have a very special

25
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,320
Speaker 1: guest here today. I'm really excited. You know us good moms.

26
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,959
Speaker 1: We love to creep into a DM.

27
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,640
Speaker 3: We're a professional DM creeper and sometimes we're successful a

28
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,800
Speaker 3: lot of times called consistency.

29
00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:30,000
Speaker 1: We have the beautiful, talented mama Melanie Fiona. Thank you

30
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,400
Speaker 1: for joining us today. Thanks for shooting your shot. I

31
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,480
Speaker 1: appreciate it. I'm so happy to find out that you

32
00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:37,480
Speaker 1: live in the valley too. You know, we valley girls

33
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:43,240
Speaker 1: over here. Ally, girls, how are you doing today? I'm good.

34
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:48,480
Speaker 1: I'm good to feel happy speaking of intentions, speaking about

35
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,359
Speaker 1: a week, It's been a good one thus far. I

36
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,200
Speaker 1: feel like the energy is really good. I feel like

37
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,680
Speaker 1: the synergy is also really good. That's why we're here.

38
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,959
Speaker 1: But it's awesome. I'm happy to be here. I happen

39
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,320
Speaker 1: to meet you girls and be talking about the things

40
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,600
Speaker 1: that we've already been talking. I mean that we should

41
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,480
Speaker 1: have been rolling this whole time, from the moment I

42
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:05,120
Speaker 1: walked through the door.

43
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,239
Speaker 2: We're like and me too.

44
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like we already kind of know each

45
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,320
Speaker 1: other friends.

46
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,799
Speaker 2: We've already invited to a dinner party. Firm check check.

47
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,160
Speaker 2: Actually we haven't met.

48
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,400
Speaker 3: Melanie and I have a mutual friend, so we've been

49
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,519
Speaker 3: on my radar for a long time.

50
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:21,919
Speaker 2: To stop.

51
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,320
Speaker 3: But I'm like, let me give her. I'm gonna chill

52
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,320
Speaker 3: so I won't reflect poorly on Chavon.

53
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:29,160
Speaker 2: Shout out to Chavon Chevan she was. I was like,

54
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,359
Speaker 2: why don't you ask your friend? She's like, okay, well

55
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,360
Speaker 2: I'm not all right. I don't worry. I'll do it myself.

56
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 2: I'll do it in a non creepy way. So soon

57
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,520
Speaker 2: as she said something on chance, I'm like, oh, perfect timing. Hello.

58
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,440
Speaker 3: So and usually when I have friends of another friend,

59
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,000
Speaker 3: even if we've never met, like, oh, we'll guess about

60
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,600
Speaker 3: now we're friends friendly? Yeah, friends by association exactly.

61
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 1: Typically it's guilty by association. We'll take friends by associations better.

62
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,600
Speaker 1: So you have a son, I do tell us how

63
00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,400
Speaker 1: old he is he is in this life three and

64
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,200
Speaker 1: a half, because lord knows, this is not his first lifetime.

65
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 2: He's wonderful. His name is Cameron, and he is magical.

66
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,720
Speaker 1: I mean, I know every parent says that about their kid,

67
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,840
Speaker 1: but he's really special. Cameron has just this like extremely

68
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,160
Speaker 1: positive outlook on life.

69
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,640
Speaker 2: It's almost too innocent for this planet.

70
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,800
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of that, but like I actually have

71
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,280
Speaker 1: deep fears of having to kill someone to protect that

72
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,920
Speaker 1: magic that he has, because you know it, like you know,

73
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,720
Speaker 1: when it can be. People don't always celebrate your magic.

74
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,440
Speaker 1: They don't always celebrate your light. Some people feel threatened

75
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,640
Speaker 1: by it. And he just sees the world for everything

76
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,480
Speaker 1: that's positive. And I want to keep that in him

77
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,480
Speaker 1: as long as possible.

78
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,600
Speaker 2: And so he's great. He's a Piscey's He's born on.

79
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:49,480
Speaker 1: Pie Day, water signs in the house, water signs, and he.

80
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,800
Speaker 2: Is the best and worst parts of me and his dad.

81
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,400
Speaker 2: You sure you see that. It's like, oh my god,

82
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,880
Speaker 2: you're so awesome. You're just like me. And you're just like,

83
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,480
Speaker 2: oh my god that I hate that about you and

84
00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 2: that's just like me.

85
00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:00,479
Speaker 1: Yeah.

86
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:02,039
Speaker 2: So kids, you know, they shall But he's great. He

87
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:02,840
Speaker 2: just started school.

88
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 1: We got past meltdowns because we were crying every day. Oh,

89
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,200
Speaker 1: both of us were all crying. Oh yeah, but.

90
00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,440
Speaker 2: Now he's he made a friend apparently, so we're oh,

91
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,200
Speaker 2: you mean the melt does in school? Oh? Yeah, oh yeah,

92
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,360
Speaker 2: like dog live me like just oh my god, I know.

93
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,120
Speaker 1: You know, and it's like I love you, but I

94
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,479
Speaker 1: have to go and I need these five hours to

95
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,200
Speaker 1: do something.

96
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,760
Speaker 2: With my life. So you know, it's it's it's been good.

97
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,240
Speaker 1: It's been a good adjustment, I think for both of

98
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,039
Speaker 1: us to find our independence again.

99
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,400
Speaker 2: So but he's awesome, great kid, that's awesome. I know.

100
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,599
Speaker 1: Going when I restarted school, it was like like she

101
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,880
Speaker 1: would like latch onto me. It was like I was

102
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,480
Speaker 1: like I felt I left crying. Yeah. Yeah. I was like,

103
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,560
Speaker 1: am I doing the wrong thing? Like is it too soon?

104
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,839
Speaker 1: Like what's going on a weekend? He there was.

105
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,840
Speaker 2: It was last Thursday and this was after Mega meltdown.

106
00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:51,240
Speaker 2: On Wednesday. Thursday.

107
00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:52,800
Speaker 1: We woke up and I was getting him ready, like

108
00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:55,080
Speaker 1: getting lunch and breakfast and everything, and he just looked

109
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,200
Speaker 1: at me and I was like, okay, he's like, where

110
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:56,600
Speaker 1: are we going?

111
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,919
Speaker 2: I was like, we had to go to school and

112
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,840
Speaker 2: he just said no, thank you, mommy, And I said,

113
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,240
Speaker 2: I said no, thank you. He says, he says, I

114
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,719
Speaker 2: just want to stay here with you and rest.

115
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 1: He went upstairs and went into my bed and laid

116
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,920
Speaker 1: there with me for an hour and Cameron is off

117
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,520
Speaker 1: the wall energy, So for him to lay still with

118
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,640
Speaker 1: me for an hour, I was like, oh, he's not

119
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:15,400
Speaker 1: about this life today.

120
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,440
Speaker 2: I was like, you need a mental health day.

121
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,120
Speaker 1: We're gonna stay home, and he said, we'll go to

122
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:21,680
Speaker 1: school tomorrow, and he did. He held the end of

123
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 1: the bargain, went to school, and that was the first

124
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,960
Speaker 1: day he didn't cry. So I was like, you know what,

125
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,160
Speaker 1: sometimes you just gotta be like, it's not that serious.

126
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:28,920
Speaker 1: You're gonna go to school for the rest of your life.

127
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,440
Speaker 1: You don't feel like going today, Cool, I don't feel

128
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,320
Speaker 1: like going today either.

129
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:32,840
Speaker 2: Right, Cool?

130
00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:34,000
Speaker 5: I don't feel like this.

131
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,120
Speaker 1: A lot of times I'm like, you know, I don't

132
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,479
Speaker 1: feel like doing life. No, yeah, I'm just gonna call

133
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,040
Speaker 1: it off. I don't feel like being home today. I

134
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:40,680
Speaker 1: don't get to do that.

135
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,960
Speaker 2: No, that is the one thing you don't get to say.

136
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:43,440
Speaker 2: No what to me?

137
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:48,159
Speaker 1: Absolutely twenty four Sathin forever, even when they're not in

138
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,920
Speaker 1: your presence. Did you always want kids?

139
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:51,160
Speaker 5: Yes?

140
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:52,200
Speaker 2: I did.

141
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,800
Speaker 1: I didn't know what motherhood actually looked like for me.

142
00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,400
Speaker 1: I just knew I wanted to have kids. And then

143
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,680
Speaker 1: when Cam came, I was like, check I felt completely satisfied,

144
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,880
Speaker 1: I felt completely planned.

145
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,520
Speaker 2: He was manifested.

146
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 1: Okay, we were just talking about the idea of looking

147
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:14,400
Speaker 1: forward to having children based off of what we had

148
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,320
Speaker 1: been through the place in our relationship which we had

149
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,880
Speaker 1: gotten to and just feeling like wow, like we've come

150
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,800
Speaker 1: so far, Like it's gonna be awesome to have a

151
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:21,720
Speaker 1: family with you.

152
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,720
Speaker 2: One day and then one day became three weeks later. Oh,

153
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,080
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, yeah, that's what happened.

154
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,400
Speaker 1: When had those of conversations and no, I mean, I

155
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,160
Speaker 1: can't even tell you. There was a series of things

156
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,200
Speaker 1: that happened leading up to that.

157
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:33,920
Speaker 2: That was one.

158
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,760
Speaker 1: The second thing that happened was some relative of his,

159
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,600
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure like put a put a like curse,

160
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,840
Speaker 1: but not a bad curse, like she she just hext

161
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,840
Speaker 1: me into pregnancy. And then and then my brother, actually

162
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,520
Speaker 1: he's older than me, seven years older than me. I

163
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,280
Speaker 1: went home to visit and he just started talking about, uh,

164
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,960
Speaker 1: freezing my eggs, and I was like, and I was like,

165
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,000
Speaker 1: I've never heard her man bring up an egg free

166
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:02,280
Speaker 1: My brother loved love you to death. How I will

167
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,040
Speaker 1: never forget though I looked at him, I'm like, I'm

168
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,320
Speaker 1: not old.

169
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,600
Speaker 2: I'm in my I was in my early thirties.

170
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,800
Speaker 1: I was like thirty one, and I was like, why

171
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,720
Speaker 1: would you tell me that I need to freeze my eggs?

172
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:12,840
Speaker 2: He's like, well, you.

173
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,320
Speaker 1: Know, I just know you're really about your career and

174
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,280
Speaker 1: I would hate for you to get too far along,

175
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,760
Speaker 1: Like I have so many female colleagues that are in

176
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,560
Speaker 1: their late thirties thinking about having kids and they're experiencing complications,

177
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,440
Speaker 1: and I know you wanted all.

178
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,280
Speaker 2: He was like, look at it like insurance for your house.

179
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,280
Speaker 1: And my brother's very rational, okay, Like I'm very emotional

180
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,520
Speaker 1: and spiritual, and he is facts on like rationality.

181
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,200
Speaker 2: So I was like, I'm not old, why are you

182
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,120
Speaker 2: bringing this to me like this?

183
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,599
Speaker 1: And then I started to be like, well, if I

184
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 1: can't get pregnant, so I book an appointment two weeks

185
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,120
Speaker 1: later to go to the doctor to make sure everything's okay.

186
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,400
Speaker 2: When I went to that appointment, I was already pregnant.

187
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you found out. No, I found out

188
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,080
Speaker 1: on my birthday two weeks later. So I got pregnant

189
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,120
Speaker 1: in the middle of June. I was probably two days

190
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,840
Speaker 1: pregnant when I went for my checkup to be like so,

191
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,840
Speaker 1: you know, just thinking about family planning. She's like, everything

192
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,640
Speaker 1: is fine. I think when you're ready, it'll be good.

193
00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,200
Speaker 1: I was like, well, can we just talk about what

194
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,400
Speaker 1: are some options. He's like, we'll talk about whatever you want,

195
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,240
Speaker 1: but I'm telling you.

196
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,160
Speaker 2: You're probably be fine.

197
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,440
Speaker 1: Oh I was good. I was already pregnant more than yeah.

198
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:16,640
Speaker 1: So but here he is now a blessing, a blessing.

199
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 1: It's so funny. I feel like, that's I don't know

200
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:20,760
Speaker 1: your brother, lol.

201
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,640
Speaker 2: Know he's in Toronto, okay, because I.

202
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,400
Speaker 3: Was such a la right, I am my friends with

203
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,920
Speaker 3: thirty one like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

204
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, girl, go freezer. E Yes.

205
00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,720
Speaker 1: I had this guy that I used to date. He

206
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,000
Speaker 1: was telling we went out and he was like, you know,

207
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,720
Speaker 1: I won't date anyone under over thirty thirty years old.

208
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,160
Speaker 2: And over I was thirty one, thirty one, Well, thirty

209
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:41,520
Speaker 2: thirty one.

210
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,920
Speaker 1: He think I won't date anyone over thirty one because

211
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,040
Speaker 1: you know, the likelihood of pregnancy, just like diminishes.

212
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,760
Speaker 2: I didn't know that was one of his reasons.

213
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,120
Speaker 1: First, yes, I can't, And I'm like, I'm like, what

214
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,120
Speaker 1: the fuck are you doing dating me? Waste my goddamn time, Like,

215
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,880
Speaker 1: clearly I'm fertile because I already have produced.

216
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,600
Speaker 2: Thank you, what have you done?

217
00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:01,640
Speaker 1: And I they thought, I was like, what kind of

218
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,400
Speaker 1: weird funck shit is this that are like? Are this

219
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,720
Speaker 1: information getting implanted in these men's brains? I'm like, no, no,

220
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,720
Speaker 1: it just we've been made to believe that. I have

221
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,000
Speaker 1: a girlfriend who's forty and just had her first kid,

222
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,559
Speaker 1: completely natural, the most amazing birth story and pregnancy I've

223
00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,840
Speaker 1: ever heard, and she's living her best life. And she

224
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,360
Speaker 1: didn't know she was gonna be able to have kids

225
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 1: because she was under this impression that forty that ship

226
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,400
Speaker 1: is sailed. She's doing it just fine. Just listen for

227
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,520
Speaker 1: all intentsive purposes, whether you want children or not. Just

228
00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:33,199
Speaker 1: be good to your health and your body the end.

229
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,240
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that it's that easy for everyone, however,

230
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,800
Speaker 1: don't allow the I mean, you heard the stories of

231
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,480
Speaker 1: women who are trying so hard to get pregnant. They're

232
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,280
Speaker 1: timing it, they're doing it, and as soon as they

233
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,679
Speaker 1: stop trying it, they get pregnant. Because we literally can

234
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,160
Speaker 1: psych ourselves out, so like you just have to surrender

235
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,880
Speaker 1: to the idea of what will be for you. It's

236
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 1: gonna be what's gonna be for you.

237
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,880
Speaker 3: I just feel like there's like literally mind over matter,

238
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,320
Speaker 3: like what you say it is, it is, and your

239
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,280
Speaker 3: body believes it.

240
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:00,679
Speaker 1: You know.

241
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,080
Speaker 2: I think that's basically what that is. I'm not true.

242
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,679
Speaker 6: I mean, I know people struggle and have problems, but

243
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,800
Speaker 6: you know, I think for the most part, yeah, like like,

244
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:14,120
Speaker 6: of course there's absolutely medical conditions and things that can

245
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,440
Speaker 6: you know, affect a woman's success rate as far as

246
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,120
Speaker 6: getting pregnant.

247
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,319
Speaker 2: You know, some women have to have like medical intervention.

248
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,240
Speaker 1: But I mean for the most part, I feel like

249
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,120
Speaker 1: a lot of stories of women who were health is

250
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,120
Speaker 1: like not an issue, it's your mind, right, you're so

251
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,440
Speaker 1: stressed out with this thing, just have.

252
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,480
Speaker 2: To it has to happen now. And then also you

253
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:34,520
Speaker 2: just take the fun out of the.

254
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,080
Speaker 1: Sex, right, Like I know husbands that are just like,

255
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,160
Speaker 1: oh my god, like she's calling me because I have

256
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,440
Speaker 1: to like, you know, we have to have sex, and

257
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,880
Speaker 1: I have to come by ten thirty six pm because

258
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,200
Speaker 1: her temperature is at it and it's just like can't

259
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,480
Speaker 1: you this house sex and have fun? And then I

260
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,480
Speaker 1: mean that's not how it happened for.

261
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,960
Speaker 2: Me all the fun, literally all the fun, you're your

262
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:54,640
Speaker 2: peak fun.

263
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,680
Speaker 1: Okay, it's literally That's when I got pregnant education not

264
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,800
Speaker 1: trying to. I was one of these people that felt

265
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,560
Speaker 1: like I couldn't get pregnant because me and my my

266
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,839
Speaker 1: dude at the time, at the time forever no longer,

267
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:11,000
Speaker 1: but forever, we had been having unprotected, really unprotected, really

268
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,240
Speaker 1: irresponsible sex. First this second years, six years, yes, and

269
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,559
Speaker 1: nothing happened. And then the moment we go on a

270
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,040
Speaker 1: little vacation and we're not really together anymore.

271
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,400
Speaker 2: That happened.

272
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,720
Speaker 1: The universe was like, oh, y'all go be car Jamaica

273
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,920
Speaker 1: and drinking too much rum and punch, and it was like,

274
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,079
Speaker 1: oh no, we're gonna put put that little baby in

275
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,520
Speaker 1: there real quick. It was Jared's It was Jared's birthday,

276
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,920
Speaker 1: I know because it was like a week and we

277
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,360
Speaker 1: just had like celebration and after celebration, and his birthday

278
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,360
Speaker 1: is two weeks before mine.

279
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,959
Speaker 2: So then when I found out I was actually pregnant

280
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:38,760
Speaker 2: two weeks later, I.

281
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,320
Speaker 1: Was like, oh my gosh, is it. After I was like, wait,

282
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,559
Speaker 1: I don't get to turn up. I was so pissed

283
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,920
Speaker 1: because it was like melas for his birthday. We were

284
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,400
Speaker 1: doing all the things, drinking, hanging out, I was, I

285
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,040
Speaker 1: was eating you know, they saying I supposed eat sushi.

286
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,040
Speaker 1: I had a week full of like sushi while I

287
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,760
Speaker 1: was first pregnant. Yes, they just you know, all these things,

288
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, then my birthday came around, but

289
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,600
Speaker 1: now I had known, so like it's like, oh, I

290
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,560
Speaker 1: have to think twice about what I'm getting ready to

291
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,920
Speaker 1: do right now when I'm pregnant, and then no one knew,

292
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,760
Speaker 1: and I'll never forget. I just like I think the

293
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,200
Speaker 1: day after my birthday, I spent the whole day crying,

294
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,719
Speaker 1: like I was like everything is gonna change.

295
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,800
Speaker 2: We were supposed to go to Amsterdam and now I

296
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,280
Speaker 2: can't go, Like.

297
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,720
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, yeah, people talk about that enough,

298
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,280
Speaker 3: Like once you find out you're pregnant, ain't no two

299
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,319
Speaker 3: week noticed, No, you don't get a two week like,

300
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,280
Speaker 3: let me party really hard and then I can like

301
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,720
Speaker 3: give it up for nine months.

302
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,240
Speaker 2: It's none of that. It's just like boom boom.

303
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,880
Speaker 3: And then you have to really realize like, oh shit,

304
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,280
Speaker 3: my life is about.

305
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,680
Speaker 1: To really really really change and my body and nine

306
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:42,400
Speaker 1: months is really not.

307
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:45,079
Speaker 3: Enough time to prepare for the change that's about to happen,

308
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,000
Speaker 3: Like you know what's about to happen, But nine months

309
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,280
Speaker 3: is not enough time to be like you've lived alone,

310
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,640
Speaker 3: independent life until now.

311
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,079
Speaker 2: Now here's the second person.

312
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:52,720
Speaker 5: Bye.

313
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,440
Speaker 2: I can't care of it. Don't let it die. I

314
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,800
Speaker 2: still can't get myself anywhere on time. I just trying

315
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,679
Speaker 2: to get a child together. Oh my god, all right,

316
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,040
Speaker 2: I don't even know girl.

317
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,200
Speaker 1: You guys have daughters, so I don't even know because

318
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,600
Speaker 1: I do not brush this hair, and I don't know

319
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 1: if I.

320
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,720
Speaker 2: Had to brush another hair, it just wouldn't have it.

321
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,839
Speaker 1: I'm just so glad we just take those clippers to

322
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,800
Speaker 1: Can's hair, just like, all right, you cut it yourself.

323
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:12,959
Speaker 2: No, okay, his dad has but Pete takes them.

324
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,520
Speaker 1: That's their thing. But I just am like, I don't

325
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,000
Speaker 1: know if that's why I know. God was like, you're

326
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,480
Speaker 1: not really ready for another girl in the house. You

327
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,840
Speaker 1: don't brush your own hair, it's not going to give

328
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,360
Speaker 1: you more hair to deal with in my house. Like

329
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 1: someone's hair gets sacrificed hair.

330
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,840
Speaker 3: I'm like, scarf because we're not both gonna have a hairstyle.

331
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,560
Speaker 3: And if you don't have a hairstyle, I'm look like

332
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,840
Speaker 3: a bad mom, so I gotta do your.

333
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:40,200
Speaker 2: Hair, so you mom for myself.

334
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,920
Speaker 3: How so when you did get pregnant and you guys

335
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,440
Speaker 3: were talking about having a family, how long had you

336
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:46,560
Speaker 3: guys been dating up to that point?

337
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:54,560
Speaker 1: At that point, it was, uh, it was like when

338
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:55,040
Speaker 1: was that?

339
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,840
Speaker 2: I know it was after a six month break. Oh

340
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:58,960
Speaker 2: so you guys you got pregnant.

341
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,080
Speaker 1: Kind of so we.

342
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,200
Speaker 2: Were together, like we were dating for a year.

343
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,800
Speaker 1: We separated for six months on some like you need

344
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 1: to really figure out what.

345
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,800
Speaker 2: It is that you want for your life.

346
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,920
Speaker 1: And I know what I want for my life and

347
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 1: I'm not going to like settle for anything less.

348
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,520
Speaker 2: And it was a really needed thing.

349
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,960
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because I think like for me, before

350
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,400
Speaker 1: I had done, you know, we've all kind of you

351
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,840
Speaker 1: break up with somebody and then you kind of get

352
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,600
Speaker 1: back with them and you know in the end is.

353
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:25,480
Speaker 2: Never going to work out. It's like you just know.

354
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,680
Speaker 1: So I was always like I'm not making any U turns,

355
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:28,760
Speaker 1: That's what I called them. I was like, I'm not

356
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,080
Speaker 1: making any U turns. I'm not doing it. And I

357
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,320
Speaker 1: literally was like we are not going to talk, like

358
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 1: if we're over, and then he moved away, he moved

359
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,280
Speaker 1: out of state, and I was like, you don't get

360
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 1: my friendship.

361
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,240
Speaker 2: I'm not going to talk to you.

362
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,280
Speaker 1: I don't want us to engage in this like ongoing

363
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 1: saga where if you finally feel like you getting it

364
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:52,600
Speaker 1: together and it's time for us, that I've I've encouraged that,

365
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 1: or I've like put any you know, planning any seeds,

366
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 1: like if you come back around, then I know it's

367
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,400
Speaker 1: on your accord, on your terms, and like you're about

368
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,720
Speaker 1: what you want. And so we had like six month

369
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 1: break and then once we got back together. I mean

370
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,440
Speaker 1: when we got back together, it was on like there

371
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,960
Speaker 1: was no uncertainty, there was none of that.

372
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,440
Speaker 2: And six months later I was pregnant.

373
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 1: Wow, like that, And I was like, but I also

374
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 1: know that from the beginning of how we first began,

375
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,280
Speaker 1: I always knew there was something there.

376
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,480
Speaker 2: And being the type of person that.

377
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,720
Speaker 1: I am and doing all the things, I know there's

378
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,360
Speaker 1: past life history. I know that he is my mirror.

379
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,000
Speaker 1: And so when I got pregnant with Cam and then

380
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,000
Speaker 1: I had Cam, everything kind of all was like, oh,

381
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 1: this is about Cam, this was about him, this person coming, this.

382
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:43,760
Speaker 2: Person coming in.

383
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 1: Because as soon as we got back together, it was

384
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,760
Speaker 1: like bink and I was like, oh, okay, right, Like

385
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,840
Speaker 1: this little angel was floating around. We'd be like, can

386
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,080
Speaker 1: y'all get it together. I've been waiting for this for years.

387
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,440
Speaker 1: That's beautiful and so it's nice. So now it's been

388
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,840
Speaker 1: six years we've been together. We got a whole family,

389
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,120
Speaker 1: and it's wonderful. You mentioned that when you got pregnant,

390
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,080
Speaker 1: you know, you were like you had fear, and I'm sure,

391
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 1: like that's natural, but also because of your I'm assuming

392
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 1: because of your career as well, like what how did

393
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 1: you how did you feel that would affect your career?

394
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,240
Speaker 1: Did it affect your career? And like what were were

395
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 1: you hiding your pregnancy for a while before or were

396
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,920
Speaker 1: you I'm really curious, like the people tell you you should,

397
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:24,720
Speaker 1: because I feel like that happens a lot of times

398
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 1: in so Actually.

399
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,119
Speaker 2: No one told me I should.

400
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,119
Speaker 1: My manager at the time was a woman, and she's

401
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,560
Speaker 1: a mother, and she was very supportive. I was actually

402
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,800
Speaker 1: terrified to even tell her because I hadn't processed the

403
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 1: feelings and I was afraid about like what it would

404
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,840
Speaker 1: mean business wise, and she was just like, girl, put

405
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 1: that baby in a backpack and take it on the

406
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 1: tour bus, like, don't even trip. But I do know

407
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 1: that there were people around us that literally like, oh,

408
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,120
Speaker 1: because of this narrative that has been created for women

409
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 1: in business in general, and then especially in the music industry,

410
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 1: where your physical appearance is everything to you, it's like, oh,

411
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,760
Speaker 1: her next.

412
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,720
Speaker 2: Getting a little fat, you can't really shoot that music video.

413
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,919
Speaker 1: We're going to need to elongate the lens thanks, you know,

414
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 1: and people, for some reason look at pregnant women in

415
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 1: the public eye. This perception, this narrative has been until

416
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:24,120
Speaker 1: more recently has been like it's over for you, Like, Oh,

417
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 1: you just gonna have to sit down, Like you're not

418
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 1: gonna be able to do all of it, You're not

419
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 1: gonna be as desirable.

420
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,400
Speaker 2: You're gonna immediately just like abandon your career because you're

421
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,399
Speaker 2: a mom. And these are these narratives that people like

422
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:37,199
Speaker 2: they put on you.

423
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,199
Speaker 1: And then this subconscious fear creeps in And I started

424
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,119
Speaker 1: showing very early, and I was like, whoa, whoa who

425
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,240
Speaker 1: who so much change? How do I even present this?

426
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 1: What does this mean? I don't even have a plan together,

427
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,199
Speaker 1: like what does this look like for me? And I

428
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 1: had just started working with a new label, and how

429
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:58,080
Speaker 1: were they going to treat me? And I saw how

430
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,600
Speaker 1: that happened as well, which was not favorable.

431
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,360
Speaker 2: It appeared to be favorable, but it wasn't. It was like, oh,

432
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 2: it's fine.

433
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 1: It was like it's great, but then all yeah, yeah,

434
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 1: and then close the door and then start whispering, and

435
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 1: then it's just like we.

436
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 2: Haven't heard what we haven't called me back.

437
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 1: They haven't called back, and yeah, and now it's and

438
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,679
Speaker 1: now it's it's again. You just become less desirable to

439
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 1: people who have that narrative in their head and who

440
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: work in that and have allowed to be and so

441
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's disappointing, but it just kind of

442
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: charges I think what has created what we're doing, and

443
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 1: it's creating a narrative for the motherhood's space that's like, yeah, no,

444
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 1: I'm not dead because I'm a mother, Like it's not

445
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 1: over sick or sick or like's not a disability. My

446
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 1: mom has always told me that pregnancy is a sign

447
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 1: of health, like it is that means your body is healthy,

448
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,360
Speaker 1: that means that you are more capable than most actually,

449
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,439
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful that she shared that with me

450
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,720
Speaker 1: and during pregnancy. That's probably why I gained seventy pounds, but.

451
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm healthy. Nobody showed that.

452
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 1: But I mean even like, like like you said, like

453
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,119
Speaker 1: right now that that that idea is kind of started

454
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: to change with like celebrities like Cardi B having a

455
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: baby and bring her baby everywhere and seeing women. I

456
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,640
Speaker 1: do feel like though there's still an immense pressure on

457
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 1: women that are that are trying to change that narrative.

458
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 1: Because even I watched her and she didn't really ever

459
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 1: take a break, because I feel like she felt like

460
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,800
Speaker 1: she really couldn't. She wanted to prove that she could

461
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 1: do it all right, but she didn't feel comfortable taking

462
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,600
Speaker 1: a break, and she might not have been able to honestly.

463
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 1: But I mean this maybe this is how it starts.

464
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 1: You know, you she show that I'm capable, I'm capable,

465
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 1: and then you have the you have more space to

466
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, I can take time. But I really

467
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 1: felt bad for her because I was I felt so

468
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 1: she when I watched some like her music feels when

469
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: she was pregnant, I felt so empowered watching that, But

470
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 1: then I also felt like, damn this, she.

471
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 2: Didn't really take a break. She really did it.

472
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like and I feel like it's so it's so

473
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 1: interesting how that how it's like changing but it's not

474
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: really changing.

475
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 2: So you know, I actually did.

476
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: A video post about this on my YouTube channel where

477
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 1: I talked about it.

478
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,360
Speaker 2: I get called it why you me and Carti b.

479
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 1: Deserve to celebrate our pregnancies because I remember being in

480
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: I was I was in a music industry space. I

481
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 1: think I was on tour or something, and I was

482
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: around some guys who were talking about Carti and it

483
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 1: came on the radio and they were just like, oh, yeah, man,

484
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 1: if she's really pregnant, this is when people were respeculating

485
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 1: and they're like, she's really pregnant, man, that would be

486
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 1: this dumbest move of her career. And I just was

487
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 1: in the backseat like sending flames a fire at them,

488
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: like the fuck are you talking about?

489
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:43,680
Speaker 2: It's over for her?

490
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 1: Like well she has, she's just at the at the

491
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: beginning of her career, like this would just why, like

492
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 1: why nobody.

493
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 2: Is going to celebrate the fact that she's a Cinderella story.

494
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: Nobody's celebrating the fact that she's had more success than

495
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: she's ever had in her life right now.

496
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: She's in a relationship, she's made making more money.

497
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't this be an opportune time for her to

498
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 1: have everything she's wanted for herself. And why should she

499
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 1: have to question that or hide that because of your

500
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 1: stereotypical beliefs of like what she's capable of with.

501
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: You not having a vagina, but.

502
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,439
Speaker 1: Thank you, okay, with you not having a vagina and no,

503
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,679
Speaker 1: And I hate it when men comments on what it

504
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: can possibly You have no idea what it is to

505
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: wake up every single day and your body is completely

506
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 1: every single day the outfit.

507
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 2: That you plan to wear, and it ain't happening.

508
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: And if you're trying to conceal and have any sort

509
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,879
Speaker 1: of privacy to yourself, oh we got to change it.

510
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: Oh we gotta cover. I'll never forget I was going

511
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: to an event and can't. As soon as I told

512
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: my family that I was having that I was pregnant, It's.

513
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: Like Kim was just like, grow a little more.

514
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks, like, celebrate me more, because the more love

515
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 1: I get, the bigger I get. And I remember I

516
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 1: was supposed to go to this event in New York

517
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: with xnic Coole and I shout out to Nicole and

518
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 1: she was launching Exonic Cole and I remember I was

519
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 1: going there and I the outfit I had.

520
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 2: I mean, there was no hiding it.

521
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: But I was not ready, especially in immedia outlet space,

522
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, still, I'm starting my baby bump tonight.

523
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: I just wasn't even ready, Like I didn't even like

524
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: nobody even knew I was in a relationship, Like my

525
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 1: life was so about music in my career, sharing that

526
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:14,040
Speaker 1: personal side.

527
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,199
Speaker 2: And I remember I got this big poncho and I

528
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 2: put it on over.

529
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 1: Top, and I remember being like, oh my god, where

530
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 1: is everyone gonna say? And I just was like looking back,

531
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 1: being like who cares what anybody would have said? Like

532
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,479
Speaker 1: I should have just been like yeah and say something.

533
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: You know, so even for someone like Cardi, and that

534
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 1: time is so precious, like you know, like we think

535
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 1: nine months that's a long time, but it's really not.

536
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 1: And I feel like something I would never do again

537
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 1: if I ever got pregnant again, is to shame myself

538
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,679
Speaker 1: into thinking that I can't express that openly because of

539
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 1: industry standards of what other people might think. And you know,

540
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: I hope for Cardi's sake, that she never looks back

541
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: and has to feel like I, you know, I missed

542
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 1: out on anything, you know, because she was she was

543
00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: sick and pregnant in the studio, being up all night.

544
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 2: I felt so I felt.

545
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, she really did represent how strong

546
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: we are as women.

547
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 2: But you shouldn't have to be that, shouldn't have to

548
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 2: be strong.

549
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 3: You should already know and you should honor it, and

550
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 3: you should like honor everybody's decision to over the fuck

551
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 3: they want. Absolutely, it's crazy, how just talking about your

552
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 3: experience in the music industry, it's such a microcosm of

553
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 3: just like how women are viewed period. It was just

554
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,639
Speaker 3: you're either this or that. Can't be a career woman

555
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 3: and be a mom and be dating and be not

556
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 3: like you even mentioned like the people DENI was in

557
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 3: a relationship, Like.

558
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 2: Who the fuck cares? That is nobody's business.

559
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 3: Who your baby daddy is, where he at if you

560
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 3: didn't buy yourself. But there's so many things that go

561
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 3: into like just being a woman period. I was telling

562
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 3: Erica I was watching the documentary on Netflix this morning

563
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 3: about AOC.

564
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 2: I love her. I was texting her like I'm crying.

565
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,919
Speaker 1: She like it just it was.

566
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: It was like eight am. The Girl, you have to

567
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,640
Speaker 2: watch it. I was like, I'm going back to bed.

568
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,640
Speaker 2: When we had a morning call, I was like, I'm out.

569
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 3: My dad comes like you should watch this is really good,

570
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,959
Speaker 3: and that's my dad, Like he's always made I've been

571
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 3: watching documentaries since I'm five. Yes, so you turn it

572
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 3: on and I started watching it, and I just like,

573
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 3: was just so inspired.

574
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 2: And then I had these thoughts. Literally my thoughts were like,

575
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: I want to change the world.

576
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,159
Speaker 3: And then I was like, I'm ever gonna be able

577
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 3: change the wrong and I look so much in my

578
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 3: business on the internet.

579
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 2: They're gonna find so many nipple pictures on faces hilarious.

580
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 3: And then but it brings us back to this conversation

581
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 3: where there's this expectation.

582
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 2: To be like this one dimensional type of woman.

583
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 3: If you're a singer, you have to be beautiful and

584
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 3: have a bang and body, and you have to have

585
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 3: one flowing hair, and you have to dress.

586
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 2: Like this and show a little cleavage. If you're a politician,

587
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 2: you better wear those car purls. You better be girl.

588
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 2: Take off that red lipstick a right bye bye. You

589
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 2: can't you can't be working at a be a waitress

590
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 2: and then be this, you know.

591
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 3: I'm like, there's this is like as women where in

592
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 3: this box to like, if you want to be this,

593
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 3: you got to be just like this.

594
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,920
Speaker 2: And it's so stupid because men have.

595
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 3: Made these these strange, weird boxes we're supposed to fit in,

596
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 3: and in reality, that's not real. And it's just like

597
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 3: your experiences with pregnancy, just with motherhood. I'm so happy, Like,

598
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 3: obviously we're not gonna be politicians, but it doesn't change

599
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 3: says right, But it doesn't change that we are still

600
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 3: changing things.

601
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,920
Speaker 2: We're still changing a narrative. We're here on this platform

602
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 2: to say fuck that it's not happening.

603
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 3: You know, I am a sexual being and I am

604
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 3: a mother, and I am intelligent and I can be

605
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 3: all of those things.

606
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 2: And I don't owe anybody shit to be like I.

607
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 3: You know, if I showed a nipple, you know, on Facebook,

608
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 3: then I'm not I'm not smart, you know. And it's

609
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 3: just like it's crazy that it's taken this long to

610
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 3: even feel this empowered. And even this morning I felt

611
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: I literally text Erica, we can never be in politics.

612
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 2: But your soul is probably too pure for politics. And

613
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: it's true it really is true. I'm happy that AOC

614
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 2: can do it because I can't. But doesn't mean that

615
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 2: we're not.

616
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 3: We won't be able to change a narrative or change

617
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 3: somebody's mind or inspired.

618
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 1: But what you are, you have daughters, you're changing their already, Right,

619
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 1: we're changing narrative already, and like that's the greatest thing

620
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 1: we can be as as women is examples right for

621
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: the next generation. I mean, I don't have a daughter,

622
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: but I have a son, so I need him to

623
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: understand what it is to see a woman doing.

624
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 2: It all your pallless.

625
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to say more important, but it's very crucial.

626
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 1: Even it's so crucial because men, you know, have so

627
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: for so long been the narrators of you know, limen

628
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: and women in one power feud. And I think mothers

629
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: have such a responsibility. Who have sons to really change that? Yeah?

630
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: True?

631
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and fathers too, Yeah, and fathers. I definitely want

632
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: my son to seem like as hard as it is

633
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,479
Speaker 1: to miss his first day of school, which I had

634
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: to because I was in Atlanta working, I also know

635
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 1: that I can't project my guilt on him as to

636
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 1: what I think I should or shouldn't be doing or

637
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 1: what makes me a good mom or like I've literally

638
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: been with him more than most moms get to who work,

639
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 1: and I take him with me to work, we travel

640
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: and you know, I miss that day. And yes, it's

641
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: harder on me than I think it will be. Young yim,

642
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: he's not going to remember, but I want him to

643
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 1: know that your mom had to go do what she's

644
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: got to do, and my mom going to.

645
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 2: Do what she has to do.

646
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: I understand that makes her whole and I understand that

647
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 1: makes her fulfilled and be a better mom for me,

648
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 1: and so you know, it's it's very important. I think

649
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,719
Speaker 1: that we always have to try to work to maintain

650
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: sense of self for our children to see that, because

651
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: I can honestly see that I have to unlearn some

652
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,479
Speaker 1: of the things that I've seen my mom do as

653
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: a mom and you know, you know, good better and

654
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 1: different whatever, just just knowing that they're watching everything. And

655
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: so it's like, if anything, I just want I think

656
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: kids should just be like my mom or dad is

657
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: authentically who they are are, and I understand that and

658
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 1: they stay true to themselves one dred percent of the

659
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: time and and being.

660
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 3: Authentic allows gives your trial permission to also be authentic.

661
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 2: And be who they are.

662
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 3: I see like these small moments in our in our

663
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 3: in our conversations, and I'm like, I can, I can.

664
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 3: I could say this or I could say that. And

665
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 3: today we were watching the documentary. I'm trying to make

666
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 3: her pay attention because she's fo she totally could follow

667
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 3: it right. And there was like a pride Pride celebration

668
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 3: and there's a drag queen and she's like, is that

669
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 3: a boy dress.

670
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 2: Like a girl. I don't remember when we went.

671
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 1: Don't you remember?

672
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 3: Girl was all we saw like a little person the

673
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 3: other day and she was like, I was like, don't.

674
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 2: And then we saw.

675
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 3: Someone they had like, uh, what's the Vita Lago or whatever?

676
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 2: So this is like a course of a week. So

677
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I keep telling you, like

678
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:49,479
Speaker 2: everybody's different.

679
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 3: Everybody looks different, our bodies are different, every everybody has choices.

680
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 2: Everybody's different, and it's fine.

681
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 3: She's like, I was like, yeah, he said, yeah, that's

682
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 3: a drag queen. He likes to dress like sometimes guy.

683
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 3: The guys us to dress like girls sometimes at night,

684
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 3: sometimes for shows. Sometimes they don't feel like they belong

685
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: in their bodies and they want to be something different

686
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 3: and that's fine.

687
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 2: I think we're all different and they're still beautiful. And

688
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, if one mom, if I could say this

689
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 2: to like all the kids.

690
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's this vital these vital points, and

691
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 3: there's questions and these things come up.

692
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 2: How much could we change, like the world.

693
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 1: Well, I think the thing that we've we've historically been

694
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 1: made to think is that, like, children are children, and

695
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: they should know their place. But children are by far

696
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,959
Speaker 1: far more developed than I think most people give them

697
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: credit for. And I see that in the way that

698
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: I raise my child versus how I was raised, And

699
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: I explained to my child, and I have conversation and

700
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: I ask him questions, and I care about what he

701
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: thinks and how he feels about certain things, and I'm

702
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: willing to be transparent and honest for his benefit because

703
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 1: there is so much power in the.

704
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 2: Comprehension of being Like, No, I want to.

705
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: Empower you to come to your own conclusion and to

706
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: have your own thought process by just providing you with

707
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: the information and comfort, and that's all it is.

708
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 2: Like, I'm not trying to pass my judgment on you

709
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 2: or what you should believe.

710
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 1: In, unless it comes to racist shown as to picture people,

711
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 1: definitely let you know they're people. We don't need to

712
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: engage with those people. Yeah, So you know, it's important

713
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: that our our children are able to recognize that there's

714
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,719
Speaker 1: no there's no norm, there's no standard of like how

715
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: people can look and be and just you just kind

716
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: of got to observe and then find your tribe and

717
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: just be like, oh, this is who I identify with

718
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: and this is who I don't And at the end, Yeah,

719
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: I mean I think as a parent, it's you we're

720
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: always constantly learning. Like I'm constantly like I saw this,

721
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 1: it was like a meme or something the other day,

722
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: Like how responsible is it as a parent for you

723
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: to say like because I said so? Like, that's an

724
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: opportunity and I think about it because I've said it.

725
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: They're not gonna up front like I never said because

726
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: I said so, Right, But but then there are all

727
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 1: times where it's like there's an opportunity there for you

728
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: to educate them or ask them like well, why is

729
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: it that you feel that way or why do you

730
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: think they do that? You know, impose the question so

731
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: that they can come to their own conclusion or educate

732
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: them and arm them with information so that they can

733
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 1: come to their own conclusions about things. And I'm just

734
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: so glad that we are having these conversations now because

735
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: I even think now, like I think, you know, having

736
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: this podcast and you know, thinking about like the way

737
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: my mother raised me, and she did the best she could,

738
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 1: but like, was she having these conversations. No, It's like

739
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 1: I just feel like parenting. I feel like kids are

740
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: smarter than ever. I think our generation of parents are

741
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 1: more are smarter than ever, and it's only going.

742
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 2: To get better. I'm hoping. I pray, I pray.

743
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I just feel like it's because we're actually

744
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 1: uncovering the layers of conditioning that we have been given

745
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: to believe have to exist. You know that narrative of

746
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 1: because I said so, you say that because you heard

747
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: it absolutely, so we can change that by I mean

748
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 1: I say it too.

749
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 2: But then after I also think about it like this now.

750
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: But my mom would say that to me because I said,

751
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: like I remember mind and be like, Mom, why can't

752
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: I do this?

753
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 2: She said because I said so, And it never sat

754
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 2: with me.

755
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 1: I would always be like, but why, And then she'd

756
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 1: be like because Z like always had like a like

757
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 1: an answer back that was just no explanation. It's like,

758
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 1: if you don't want me going somewhere, explain to me

759
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: why why, Like I want to understand because there's danger

760
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: there that you're unaware of. Because I don't have a

761
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: good feeling about that person. I have concerns that you

762
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: are unaware of, like dot dot, I'm unable to pick

763
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: you up. I don't know bout bab bab, Like, just

764
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: give me something to go on, you know, let's have

765
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: a conversation about it. Absolutely, And I think that that's

766
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: super important amongst parents and children is constant communication. It's

767
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 1: I mean, it's the key to every successful relationship in

768
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: any period, personal, sexual, professional, friendship, whatever.

769
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 2: Like, communication is key even with yourself.

770
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 3: And I think like empowering your kid to have an

771
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 3: opinion and to have the communication with your child empowers

772
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 3: to have communications with themselves and have opinions of like

773
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 3: themselves and not just so we have to explain to them,

774
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 3: but when they're around peers. Like, first of all, we're

775
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 3: in the age of the internet. I don't even know

776
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 3: what that means for a teenager. Okay, I saw euphoria.

777
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 3: I'm scared of.

778
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 2: It's wonderful, but I'm scared as hell. They a beast,

779
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,280
Speaker 2: so much of a ried, so scared.

780
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 3: But at least if we give them to empower them

781
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 3: to have their own opinion when other kids and people like,

782
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 3: first of all, we're really transparent parents.

783
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 2: We talk about like no secrets.

784
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 3: Because then you can better identify, like, ah, I'm not

785
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 3: fucking with Susie because Susie's.

786
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 2: Tripping and I have my own opinion and my mom

787
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 2: talked to me about this, and I'm not doing X,

788
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 2: Y and Z fantas.

789
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 3: These parents did and said because I said so instead

790
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 3: of being like, lollok, let me tell you what could happen.

791
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 2: You see the jay down there on the street. Let

792
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 2: me tell you he made it wrong.

793
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 3: Turn somewhere okay, because he listened to his homeboy and

794
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 3: his homeboy said so, there's like so much there's so

795
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 3: much power in being honest.

796
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: And I think, like, you know, people look at me.

797
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 3: Us a certain way because we talk about cannabis and

798
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 3: we talk transparently about our sex lives or dating.

799
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: Oh, you talk about plants and sexuality like their natural

800
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: things that came from the earth and have begun.

801
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh oh crazy, so wrong, so crazy or such

802
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 3: crazy parents?

803
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: Yea, you know the way we all got here, by

804
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 1: the way, probably a little weed and sects involved, right

805
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 1: that art, you know?

806
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 2: So I think that is important. And then you have

807
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 2: you have empowered people that know themselves.

808
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 3: And I think even because I see my mom too,

809
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 3: and I see like she did the best that she could.

810
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,720
Speaker 3: But I see like a child when I see her sometimes,

811
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 3: and that she didn't take she wasn't empowered to take

812
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,479
Speaker 3: the time to get to know herself and to heal

813
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,280
Speaker 3: the ship that her parents said or that her parents

814
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 3: went through.

815
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 2: And to see this is where I'm at right now.

816
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 3: And she's fifty something years old and maybe still working

817
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 3: through that. And like now, I think it's such a norm.

818
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 3: Like I said, me and she mom, we were talking

819
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 3: on the phone. All we'd be talking, all we'd be

820
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 3: doing is therapies in each other thereah pies, thearrah.

821
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 2: Pis And and I'm like, so, what do you think

822
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 2: happened to you as a child?

823
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 3: Yes, and made you feel this way that you don't

824
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 3: feel like you love yourself or you deserve better. And

825
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 3: I said, because I've discovered you know, I'm healing from

826
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 3: when i was a child. These are conversations I'm having

827
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 3: with my homegirls all the time show and I'm like,

828
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 3: thank god, yeah, thank god.

829
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,760
Speaker 2: I'm thirty one and these are the conversations that we're having.

830
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 1: Yes, this shit is important well because our parents, who

831
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:29,439
Speaker 1: are in the fifties and sixties are still not having

832
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: these conversations.

833
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 2: Because it's scary. It's terrifying.

834
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 1: Now our parents are I mean even my own parents.

835
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: She's like, why are you put all your business on

836
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 1: the podcast?

837
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 2: Right?

838
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: And I'm like, wait, there's so many women that reach

839
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: out to us daily like thank you, thank you, And

840
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 1: now I know I'm not alone. And the reason we

841
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 1: started this podcast is because we felt alone. Yeah, you know,

842
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: and we are at a different age. I think we

843
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 1: our parents come from the time where it's like we

844
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: don't talk about that.

845
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 2: Everything secret, friends, what happened in this house? Oh my god,

846
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 2: everything is a secret.

847
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'll be finding stuff out about my parents to

848
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,480
Speaker 1: this day that I'm like, you just left that chapter

849
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: out of my whole life and I've known you. It's crazy.

850
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: It's it's like it isn't. I'm Caribbean, so it's very

851
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: cloak and dagger. Shush hush, because you're worried about what

852
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 1: so and so is going to say about you and

853
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: anti so and so and uncle so and so and.

854
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 2: Oh did you hear what happened?

855
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 3: Oh this?

856
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,959
Speaker 1: And it's just like, can we just stop caring about

857
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: what other people think? Like if you know me and

858
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: you know your child, like, let's just have the conversation.

859
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 2: I think that that's that's the thing.

860
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: And of course there's always a sense of pride and

861
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: protection as a parent naturally, but we have to identify

862
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: where that's coming from. Is it for our well being

863
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,760
Speaker 1: or is it for the concern of what other people's

864
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: opinions are? And I think that that's something we're learning

865
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: to we're learning to unlearn with each generation.

866
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 2: That's what you said about getting better right right?

867
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 3: And I think when we when we allow ourselves to

868
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 3: listen to other people's opinion, we begin to believe those

869
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 3: opinions at that begins in childhood, you know, like oh,

870
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,919
Speaker 3: she's fast, or she's this, or you know, Susie's shut

871
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 3: or she's.

872
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: Fat, right, you know, like that fat thing, the fat

873
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: and skinny thing. Because I really said.

874
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 2: That the other day, like oh, like she's fat, And.

875
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.

876
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: Were there already? Where did that come from?

877
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 1: Because like my mom growing up was so self body conscious,

878
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: and like I think growing up to being like being

879
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 1: an actor and modeling as a kid, I was just

880
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: so aware of my body. Also growing up in mostly

881
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: white schools and my body not looking like the white

882
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: young girls was very confusing for me. And then also

883
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 1: seeing my mom saying I'm fat, and she does it

884
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: to this day and I always tell them, like, Mom,

885
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: you have got to stop. Like that has whether or

886
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: not you know it or not, it's affected me. You know.

887
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 1: People always say, oh, if you're so confident, you're so confident,

888
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,479
Speaker 1: but no I am. But like, I'll just be quiet

889
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 1: about my my insecurities. Right, I'm just as insecure as

890
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: a lot of these motherfuckers out here. I've been looking

891
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: in the mirror, pulling on my stomach, touching my skin,

892
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,800
Speaker 1: especially after having a baby.

893
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 2: Things have changed. And don't get me wrong, there's.

894
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: Been some change that I really do very much enjoy. Yeah,

895
00:38:59,080 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: I'm leible, I got it.

896
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: But then there's some things where I'm like, oh, that

897
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,279
Speaker 2: skin on the lower Valley let's not going back. It's

898
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,959
Speaker 2: not going back. There's not no collagen I can drink.

899
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: But I really try to be conscious about how I

900
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 1: talk about my body in front of my daughter. App Absolutely,

901
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 1: I think about this too, because especially living here in

902
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:21,359
Speaker 1: LA and being in the industry that we're in, it's like, oh,

903
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: you don't like something, you gotta know, just go fix it.

904
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,239
Speaker 2: You get fixed, You go to fix really really quick.

905
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: But it's just like if I were to do that

906
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: about everything that I did did not like about myself

907
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: and my child inherits genetically.

908
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 2: The the features, the DNA, the.

909
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: Characteristics, traits that are all there, and the non changeable yeah,

910
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 1: the non changeable things. And I'm they're telling them, you're fine.

911
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: You're like, it's fine, you're fine. The way you are

912
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,800
Speaker 1: here beautiful. But I can't expect accept that narrative about myself.

913
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 1: There is a disconnect here already, and so I honestly

914
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:55,879
Speaker 1: like I think about it too. We have to treat

915
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: ourselves like we would treat our children. We have to

916
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 1: be just as delicate, We have to and be just

917
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:06,359
Speaker 1: as how much positivity and awareness and conscious thought do

918
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: I want to instill in my children. That's how I

919
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 1: have to practice for myself because they are watching and

920
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: our inner child is still listening, and we're out here

921
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: being like, oh well this is like mmm, I have

922
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,759
Speaker 1: to be like, okay, maybe I'm not as happy with this,

923
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 1: but what can I do to feel good about it? Like?

924
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 2: How can what can I do?

925
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 1: Like within myself, because it's really the work in here,

926
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 1: Like it's not just like oh, let me go get

927
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: this nipped and tucked or change or bubblic again, not

928
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 1: judging anyone who does that, but you have to be

929
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: mindful of your child's If you're like, oh, my gosh,

930
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 1: I hate my nose. I'm going to fix my nose

931
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: and then your child gets that nose, what are you

932
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 1: telling your child by being like, oh, by the way,

933
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: that knows that I thought was hideous, you have it too,

934
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: Like this is.

935
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 2: What we're talking, Like it's cute on me, but it's

936
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,720
Speaker 2: cute on you. I just hated it on me because

937
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 2: like you, I just gave it, you know what I mean?

938
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: Like, I just feel like we just need to be

939
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 1: so much more aware and like forgiving with ourselves and

940
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 1: and always my thing with when it comes to how

941
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,399
Speaker 1: we view ourselves, especially after a baby is whatever you're

942
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 1: doing for yourself as far as changing your body, if

943
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 1: that's what you'd like to do, whatever, just make sure

944
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 1: you're doing it from a place of self love and

945
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: not a place of self hate, because that is where

946
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: we have the problem, and the gerratuating problem is like

947
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 1: do everything from self love, not self hate. Not that

948
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: you hate this, No, I love myself and I love

949
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 1: this part about myself too.

950
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 2: But I want to feel it this way, you know,

951
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: not oh my god, I hate it.

952
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 1: Is No, just like we have to take all of

953
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: that language out of ourselves and it's not easy. Like again,

954
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 1: I mean, and I can't imagine in being being a

955
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:42,360
Speaker 1: singer and being out there and so much pressure put

956
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 1: on really like I feel like in the music industry specifically,

957
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: like it's so much pressure because I mean, actors, I

958
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: feel like a boy, like there's a little more space

959
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: because we're playing roles and we're like we must be

960
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 1: we're relatable, but are like we're playing different roles so

961
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,879
Speaker 1: we can kind of fluctuate where singers, you are who

962
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: you are all the time, and you're expected to be

963
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: a certain way all the time. And you know, we

964
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 1: talked before about you know how much weight we gained

965
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: in pregnancy. You know, I gained seventy pounds siny four.

966
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

967
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: And you know, I remember my doctor when I came

968
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: in one time, I think I had gained like around

969
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: fifty and she was like whoa this She literally was

970
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: like whoa And let me not get started on that girl.

971
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 2: That woman she hates her, yeah with her no but yeah,

972
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 2: and she kind of shamed me.

973
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that was already a little depressed during my pregnancy.

974
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,359
Speaker 1: Sometime I was just like, well, fuck it, I'm about

975
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 1: to go get this Ben and Jerry's I don't go.

976
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,359
Speaker 1: I'm going all you know in yeah, And it's just

977
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: like and then after pregnancy, all the pressure to lose

978
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: the weight, and like, how did how did you did? Well?

979
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 1: First of all, did you enjoy your pregnancy? I enjoyed

980
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: every single day. I enjoyed the glow of my.

981
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 2: Skin, my hair, as big as I was getting.

982
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 1: I just I loved it all the way until I

983
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: didn't realize how much that was going to affect my body.

984
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: And I remember the same thing happened. It was like

985
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 1: right after Thanksgiving. Now you would have thought I ate

986
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 1: the whole turkey the way that I came back and

987
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 1: she looked the nurse.

988
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 2: It was the nurse, it wasn't even my doctor.

989
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 1: She was like, oh, you've hit forty pounds and I

990
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 1: still had like four months ago, and I was like

991
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: forty pounds.

992
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 2: How did that?

993
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,800
Speaker 1: She's just like did you? She's like, did you? Have

994
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: you been eating a lot? I was like, you think

995
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 1: I'm over here eating a pack of donuts a day?

996
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,280
Speaker 1: Like no, like I did not. This was not my intention.

997
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: But again there was issues going on that they didn't

998
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: even identify till I was in labor.

999
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 2: But long story short, I remember feeling like what does

1000
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 2: this mean for me?

1001
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: And then I remember just being like, all right, well

1002
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 1: it's fine, It'll just all go away after And.

1003
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 2: It did not.

1004
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 1: It did not go away immediately after. I still carry

1005
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 1: about fifteen pounds extra than more than I was. Like

1006
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: I said, there are benefits that I like, I have

1007
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: curse I never had before. But I remember there was

1008
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 1: like a year after, and I remember I did a

1009
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: performance in New York and I was wearing this like

1010
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 1: wrap skirt and somebody I posted a video where I

1011
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 1: was like singing a Whitney Houston record and somebody commented

1012
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 1: in the comments was like I.

1013
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 2: Still see that baby wait in your stomach? Whoa oh wow?

1014
00:43:59,360 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 1: And I was.

1015
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 2: I was devastated.

1016
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: I was like because I remember the anxiety I had

1017
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: getting dressed that day to be like is it covered?

1018
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: Because I had like this loose skin now because I

1019
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 1: got stretched out to fifty five inches and like I

1020
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 1: had a super flat stomach before, and my.

1021
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 2: Skin was like nah, we ain't built a stretch like that.

1022
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 1: And so and so I remember being so self conscious

1023
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,360
Speaker 1: getting on the stage and this one comment sent me

1024
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: into like a spiral of like, oh my god.

1025
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I have to be so conscious about

1026
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 2: this all the time.

1027
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: Get the spanks, get the and I just remember being like,

1028
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:34,760
Speaker 1: oh gosh, like word. And then I remember seeing Beyonce

1029
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 1: after she had her twins and she went into tour

1030
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 1: and she's wearing these shorts and people, no, she's wearing

1031
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: a dress or something, and everyone's starting to speculating, oh

1032
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 1: my god, she's pregnant again. She's pregnant. I'm like, no,

1033
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 1: she just had twins. What the fuck did you see

1034
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: how big she got? It's okay that she's not a

1035
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 1: size four like she was before. You don't even know

1036
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 1: if that's her goal, if that's what she wants to

1037
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 1: get back to. Why do we do this to women?

1038
00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: We never do this to men. We allow men to

1039
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 1: get beer belliesn't get bald, and we still love them. Okay,

1040
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 1: as long as they got money and they're killing it,

1041
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: y'all gonna be fine. Women, we put on a few

1042
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: extra rowns. Oh my god, she's letting herself go. I

1043
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,719
Speaker 1: always love Rihanna for this example, because Rihanna came out.

1044
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: I remember, like I want to say, like a couple

1045
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: years ago, maybe she started dating.

1046
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 2: This sultan.

1047
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, oh, you go get the royalty.

1048
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: And so she came out and people were like, damn,

1049
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: Rihanna got thick, and they started trying to shame her,

1050
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: like damn, Rihanna got that because no one was acknowledging

1051
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: how thin she was before, because they got used to

1052
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 1: seeing her that way. When Rihanna stepped out with breasts

1053
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,959
Speaker 1: and hips and a little bit of belly.

1054
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 2: It was like, what is this? She got fat?

1055
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 1: And the next day Rihanna stepped out like taking all

1056
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 1: this voluptuousness and I don't give a fuck what you think,

1057
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: And all of a sudden it was like, oh, we

1058
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 1: can choose to be thick. If Rihanna chose to be thick,

1059
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: oh now it's okay. But when you thought she let

1060
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: herself go, it wasn't okay. Just like a woman who

1061
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 1: gets pregnant, it's like, ooh, you let yourself go. It's like,

1062
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: maybe I actually want to hold onto this little bit

1063
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 1: of way. Maybe I like the way I feel. I

1064
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: feel more womanly now than I ever have when I

1065
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: get dressed, as I have curves. That's something I never

1066
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 1: had before, you know. So I think that the pressure

1067
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 1: is is it's like any insecurity, don't allow anybody to

1068
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 1: use shit against you.

1069
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 2: Own your shit. Lizo's out here being like I'm a

1070
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 2: whole ass.

1071
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: Woman and a half and say something about it, right,

1072
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 1: and I'm and I'm that bitch, yeah, and I am

1073
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 1: her like you want to be me because I have

1074
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 1: more confidence than that. I remember once I saw a

1075
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 1: woman walking down the street and she was a very large,

1076
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 1: obese woman, but she was wearing a tube top and

1077
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 1: a mini skirt. And I remember somebody I was with

1078
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 1: was like, well damn, and I was like, you know what,

1079
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: I was like, that woman actually has more confidence than

1080
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 1: somebody that you think looks more appropriate wearing that outfit.

1081
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: I was like, because she has to make a decision

1082
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 1: and a commitment to get dressed and know that everybody

1083
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:58,839
Speaker 1: around her is going to soccer and talk shit, and.

1084
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 2: She's still a question walk outside. So I'm like, so

1085
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: I'm about it.

1086
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 1: So I just feel like we have to get to

1087
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 1: a place where we're just like, and yes, my stomach isn'

1088
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: as flat as it used to be because I had

1089
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: a large ass baby. By the way, let me tell

1090
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 1: you about the invasive, serious surgery that I had to

1091
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: have to have my child. So should we talk about

1092
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 1: that or I know we can't talk about the Will

1093
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 1: you have empathy and sympathy for me?

1094
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 2: Then when I tell you.

1095
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 1: Almost died I having this trial so I got a

1096
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,280
Speaker 1: little extralute skin, But I'm here to tell my story,

1097
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 1: Like what are we talking about? So I just feel

1098
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: like people are so critical these days, and it's really

1099
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: our job to work to block out the noise and

1100
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: to never allow anybody to use no shit that we

1101
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 1: know about that makes us great and is a part

1102
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: of our narrative against us. You know, it's so sad

1103
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 1: though to about that is a lot of the people

1104
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: that talk shit are women.

1105
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 2: Oh we're programmed now.

1106
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: It's so crazy because I remember even you, like one

1107
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 1: of you, not you talking shit, you.

1108
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 2: Me bit. I know, I was like baby where and.

1109
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 3: I thought I was gonna games get thick after the baby.

1110
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 3: We're excited, and I was so hype girl boom.

1111
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 1: No, but I was thinking. I was thinking about you know,

1112
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 1: you were telling me that one of your friends was

1113
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 1: like Rihanna done lot, Like Rihanna's not cute anymore. Don't

1114
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 1: remember you told me that, like.

1115
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: Was itt Rihanna?

1116
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 3: I always wasna. I forgot so fucking mad, like she

1117
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 3: was my fucking cousin.

1118
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: Like it was around the time when Rihanna came out

1119
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 1: and was like looking more thicker. They were like Rihanna's

1120
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 1: lost it.

1121
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 2: She I was like, but that's what I was gonna say.

1122
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 2: I was like lost. Fuck having I mean not fuck

1123
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 2: having a baby. That's amazing, Like I had a baby.

1124
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 2: I'm I'm finsed up. I can notice changes in my body,

1125
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 2: my skin's looser or whatever. But I had to tell

1126
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 2: this bitch. I was like, dog, she's not sixteen or

1127
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 2: eighteen or twenty five. Granted, my body's been the same

1128
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,520
Speaker 2: for a long ass time. Even I know that, and

1129
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 2: but you know that because you aren't look the same

1130
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:46,399
Speaker 2: from ten years ago.

1131
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 1: So I'm like, you gotta And also who maybe she's

1132
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: taking better care of herself.

1133
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe she was getting deep she's getting deeped down, Okay,

1134
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 3: of course, okay, eating.

1135
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: On the j.

1136
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay. I was like, she's like happy the mother happy.

1137
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 1: She's like.

1138
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 2: I was like, I was, I was supposed to are

1139
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 2: you called? You're like, I have to leave.

1140
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 1: I was got upset.

1141
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 2: She left, She had to leave the hangout. She got

1142
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 2: so st I do this to me and I think

1143
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:23,720
Speaker 2: it was another black Yeah, I was pissed. I was pissed.

1144
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 2: I was just like this hater ass, these hater ass

1145
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 2: friends I got, I'm gonna have to get some new friends.

1146
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 2: I was mad as I forgot. When she was talking

1147
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 2: about this, I was.

1148
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:34,840
Speaker 1: Like, this sounds funnillius because like when you get to

1149
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: a point and I find that, like I'm at this

1150
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 1: just as a woman in general, it's like I have

1151
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: zero tolerance and like, let me not say tolerance, but

1152
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 1: I'm very mindful of where I what frequency I'm on,

1153
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 1: and so any friends and people in my life that

1154
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 1: don't operate on the frequency. I don't give if they're

1155
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 1: family or not. Like, I'm just like, I love you

1156
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 1: from afar.

1157
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 3: And you know what it is because we're just talking

1158
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 3: about our witchiness and September we got message and stuff.

1159
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 3: But I'm learning to really trust my motherfucking gut.

1160
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like so nice, I'm like, I think mean

1161
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 2: just not liking her, No, bitch, it's because you don't

1162
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 2: like her because you don't like it or the vibe

1163
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 2: is not right right now, she's not she's not like.

1164
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 3: Sometimes we have to accept that we can have friends

1165
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 3: and sometimes our evolutions speed up, slow down, and it

1166
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 3: just doesn't level up.

1167
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 2: And it's not that I don't love you. And I

1168
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 2: know we all have.

1169
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 3: To be around people that make us uncomfortable to accept,

1170
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 3: you know, all of us at our different places in

1171
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 3: our lives. But I've really accepted that, Like, my witchy

1172
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 3: shit is on point and what works for me and

1173
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 3: what I know, I know and I'm not I'm not

1174
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 3: questioning that shit anymore.

1175
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 2: I don't care if I've known you fifteen years, I

1176
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:41,840
Speaker 2: don't care if I know any five years.

1177
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 3: I will love the motherfucker I met five minutes ago

1178
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 3: in the gas station because that's how I roll.

1179
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 2: So I don't like when it stands a vibe isn't fit.

1180
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 2: Like I said, I had to go. You don't you

1181
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 2: think Rihanna doesn't look good? Vine? But me and oh,

1182
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 2: I gotta go, You gotta go. I got my appointment,

1183
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 2: just rank vibe. Don't you're not about to.

1184
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 1: You're not about to, Luna here off my baby hellute

1185
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: her brain with this bullshit.

1186
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:06,839
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't have friends like this.

1187
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 1: So I know that you are really into you know self,

1188
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 1: self health and the mental health aspect. I see you

1189
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 1: promoted a lot on your Instagram, Like how did you

1190
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 1: get into that? I even saw that you did like

1191
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: a like especially like a bullet a sound sound.

1192
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,839
Speaker 2: She discovered this last Instagram. Should we text her tell

1193
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 2: her to bring it brought? I should? I forgot to

1194
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 2: text you. I was going through I was like Erica comedy.

1195
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 2: She don't even know what I'll bring it on? Which night?

1196
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: Which bring?

1197
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 2: Yeah? So I mean this.

1198
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: I feel like my wellness journey started before I became

1199
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 1: a mom, but definitely has been instrumental as far as

1200
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,879
Speaker 1: now being in like, like I said, a whole last

1201
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 1: family and and having a child, and in recognizing that

1202
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 1: these practices that I discovered as far as wellness, reiki, acupuncture, therapy,

1203
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,720
Speaker 1: all these things are tools that I need to continue

1204
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:03,720
Speaker 1: to use in my everyday life moving forward.

1205
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 2: And in having a network of people and having an audience.

1206
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 2: This is something that's very close to me.

1207
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 1: When I was a kid, when I was four years old,

1208
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:12,280
Speaker 1: I said I wanted to be a singing nurse.

1209
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 2: Yes, and you had you seen that before?

1210
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 1: You just made it up.

1211
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 2: I was like, this is my title. I'm a singing nurse.

1212
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 2: And everyone was like, it's so cute. You made that up.

1213
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, but I'm going to do sing

1214
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 1: And I really fucking feel like that, Like I really

1215
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 1: feel like I have the ability to heal.

1216
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 2: Through music, through voice, through word, and through sound.

1217
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 1: And so that is something that I've kind of just

1218
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 1: been evolving and branching out into. And I'm very thankful

1219
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: because it allows me to feel like I'm living more

1220
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: on my purpose every day. But it is, it's so important.

1221
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 1: It's so important, especially as mothers. If you look at

1222
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: yourself as a vessel in a cup, you deplete, like

1223
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,879
Speaker 1: it's natural in our to in our nature to give

1224
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 1: and give and give and give and give, but like,

1225
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: what are we doing to fill that cutback? How are

1226
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 1: we pouring that in to be able to give more?

1227
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 1: And like, there's nothing wrong with giving, but when you're out,

1228
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 1: you're out. And so I think we've all hit that

1229
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:10,280
Speaker 1: point as women in some regard and some dynamic as mothers.

1230
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 2: On a daily basis of days, I'm just like I

1231
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 2: don't have it.

1232
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 1: Like some days I hear myself saying to my son

1233
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 1: when he's not listening on my Cameron, I don't have

1234
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:22,439
Speaker 1: it today, And that's me acknowledging myself but also letting

1235
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 1: him know, is today's not the day, Like I'm running

1236
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 1: on empty today and I need you to I need

1237
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 1: you to work with me on this. And so in

1238
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:34,839
Speaker 1: speaking that narrative through motherhood and through wellness and even

1239
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 1: through making like heartbroken love records like people have always

1240
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:39,239
Speaker 1: I'm the girl that's.

1241
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 2: Standing in the bathroom with someone crying and I'll be like,

1242
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 2: don't worry, girls, don't worry about I love you, because

1243
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 2: this is.

1244
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,359
Speaker 1: Like I'm the girl giving advice to the stranger at

1245
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 1: the gas station mess.

1246
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:58,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, don't talk. This family is up the streets,

1247
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 2: give him a ride. It's fine.

1248
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 1: I am the same, but I recognize that also as

1249
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 1: a superpower, and so I understand that with that, I

1250
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 1: have to create work and narratives that do that. And

1251
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 1: so I have been, more than ever been brought opportunities

1252
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: this year that have afforded me to do that, to

1253
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: speak about wellness, to speak about sound healing specifically for me.

1254
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 2: Specifically for me.

1255
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:24,359
Speaker 1: I lost my voice when I went through a very

1256
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:29,480
Speaker 1: traumatic year, and that was directly associated to an energetic

1257
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,240
Speaker 1: block in my throat chakra. And that's really what allowed

1258
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 1: me to forced me to find the healing, the alternative healing,

1259
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 1: and that was from the unspoken words and feelings that

1260
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 1: I didn't get out, the apologies I thought that I

1261
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 1: deserved that I never got from certain people, the heartbreak

1262
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 1: I was carrying, the disappointment, and I stored it all

1263
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: here in my gift and the universe. In God was

1264
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 1: just like, Oh, if you're not going to pay attention

1265
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 1: to what journey you really need to be on, I'm

1266
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:57,320
Speaker 1: going to shake your whole life up by affecting your gifts.

1267
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 2: This thing that always shows up for you, it's not

1268
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 2: going to show up for you.

1269
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:03,319
Speaker 1: After thirty minutes, Wow, you're going to struggle and you're

1270
00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 1: going to get so uncomfortable that you're going to have

1271
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 1: to make a shift. And so that's where my energy

1272
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 1: healing came from. That's where understanding the power of where

1273
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 1: we store trauma in our bodies come from. That's where

1274
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 1: this wellness narrative has come from. And you know, I

1275
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: share that openly with my audience, and it's really important.

1276
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 1: Like I got a back injury right now, I knowed it.

1277
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:24,839
Speaker 1: I know why I have a back injury. It's because

1278
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:26,720
Speaker 1: I just saw somebody that I don't really fuck with anymore,

1279
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: and that trauma keeps coming up and I'm like, ough,

1280
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: and this is somebody that was very close to me,

1281
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:33,520
Speaker 1: and every time this person appears in my life, my

1282
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 1: backacs up. Wow. So I understand how everything is interconnected,

1283
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 1: and I think that that's something that we all need

1284
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 1: to be mindful of.

1285
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 2: That's something we all need to be aware of.

1286
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 3: When you said something earlier that really resonated with me

1287
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 3: because I had this thought like recently, and it was

1288
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 3: that you know, the same like how we mother our children,

1289
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 3: that's the same energy we need to give ourselves. Because

1290
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,239
Speaker 3: I found myself a lot of times brushing my own

1291
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:02,320
Speaker 3: feeling like having to keep going like it's not the

1292
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 3: big of a dull girl, so I don't really cry

1293
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:06,640
Speaker 3: over spilt milk, like like you're tougher than that, Like

1294
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 3: that I'm supposed to be tough and I'm supposed to

1295
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 3: be hardcore, like say that a lot.

1296
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,200
Speaker 2: It wasn't a polittle can way too much about and

1297
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:16,239
Speaker 2: literally hardcore, you know, and I just you know.

1298
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 3: And then I found myself being so gentle with my

1299
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 3: child and like it's okay, and like comforting her and

1300
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 3: like allowing her to be feel and be sad or.

1301
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 2: Be these And it dawned on me, like, how can

1302
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 2: you show up for her in this way and allow

1303
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 2: her this space.

1304
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 3: To be emotional and be and be these things. But

1305
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:34,759
Speaker 3: you're not even allowing your You're not even giving your

1306
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:35,480
Speaker 3: you're not even being.

1307
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 2: Gentle with yourself.

1308
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:42,560
Speaker 3: And so I'm saying, like harboring feelings of disappointment.

1309
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 2: Of of the resentment.

1310
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, well people weren't gentle with me or didn't or

1311
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:49,880
Speaker 3: didn't give me apologies. And I was just like, wow,

1312
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 3: like that is so profound. I'm so happy that you

1313
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 3: like tapped back into that because it's true the way

1314
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 3: we mother our children and other people, we have to

1315
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 3: deliver that same gentleness to our because then that's how

1316
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 3: you can expect it from partners and from other relationships.

1317
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 3: When you don't give it to yourself, then you kind

1318
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:10,320
Speaker 3: of allow other people to do the same thing to

1319
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 3: you brush off your feelings.

1320
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 1: So the two things that I've really been working on

1321
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 1: this year is setting healthy boundaries and not taking things

1322
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 1: personally and literally, Like if we.

1323
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 2: Can have more compassion.

1324
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 1: And I'm a very emotional person, and I find that

1325
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: that's like a superpower but also can be a super

1326
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 1: hindrance in particular situations, especially with dealing with people that

1327
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 1: are not as emotional, And so by setting a boundary

1328
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: of understanding and also like having more compassion, like what

1329
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 1: a thing to be able to draw on more compassion

1330
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 1: for somebody that has zero for you to literally look

1331
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,680
Speaker 1: at somebody in their darkest moment when they're treating you

1332
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 1: like dirt and being like, you know what, it's okay,

1333
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:53,480
Speaker 1: I know that you're I know that the reason why

1334
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:56,360
Speaker 1: you're doing this has nothing to do with me, and

1335
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 1: it's really your own work and traumas that are coming

1336
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 1: up and I'm just not going to allow you to

1337
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 1: put that on me. And that's kind of where I've

1338
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:05,720
Speaker 1: been operating on in this year because I've made a

1339
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 1: lot of changes in with people in my life that

1340
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 1: I literally am able to see them for who they

1341
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 1: truly are, even if they can't see themselves. And in

1342
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 1: times when I'd be like, how could you do that

1343
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 1: to me? How could you be that way? If I

1344
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: change that narrative and be like, you're not doing that

1345
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 1: to me. This is how you operate, This is how

1346
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,680
Speaker 1: you operate with or without me. I just have an

1347
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:25,480
Speaker 1: expectation that you won't do the same shit to me

1348
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: that I see you to everybody else. But this is

1349
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,400
Speaker 1: actually the work that you need to be doing. I

1350
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: can't do that work for you. So I love you,

1351
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 1: but I have to set a boundary that I can't

1352
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 1: allow you to do this to me and a story

1353
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:37,480
Speaker 1: and not take it primple.

1354
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 2: How could you?

1355
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:40,680
Speaker 1: I know exactly how you could. And so I find

1356
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 1: that like more compassion is the key, and it's a

1357
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 1: real challenge, but it's a real gift and it brings

1358
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 1: so much peace to ourselves when you can just say

1359
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:50,840
Speaker 1: I don't need the apology. I don't need you to

1360
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 1: be sorry. I don't need I might never get that

1361
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I recognize that fucked up and I hurt

1362
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 1: you feelings like I might never get that from you,

1363
00:58:57,400 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 1: But I can forgive you without you asking for the

1364
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 1: apology because I have more compassion, and so that is

1365
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 1: that's like one of the things, and just not taking

1366
00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:09,520
Speaker 1: shit personally like whatever, Like, yeah, I know it's hard

1367
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: because sometimes you got personal with somebody and then they

1368
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: do something you like, how can I not take that

1369
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 1: shit personally? But if you have more compassion, then that

1370
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: personal attack doesn't seem as harsh. And that's something that's

1371
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 1: been helpful for me this year in growth and evolution

1372
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 1: and peace because at the end of the day, that's

1373
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 1: all you got, that's all you have is your piece

1374
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, and like, I'll be

1375
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 1: damned if I'm gonna let somebody else steal my piece.

1376
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 2: That's that's that's that's mine, right and that's me allowing

1377
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 2: them to do that. Like choose, choose.

1378
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 1: Everything is a choice.

1379
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 2: Everything is a choice.

1380
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: So if you just got to take that beat and

1381
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: be like I'm not gonna react right now, I'm just

1382
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:46,600
Speaker 1: gonna take a breath. I was having this conversation with

1383
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:50,960
Speaker 1: Jamila a few weeks ago because I think cancers in general, y'all,

1384
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: y'all love y'all. Okay, So for me, like I'm I

1385
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 1: don't really like people that much. It's scarpia like I

1386
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,800
Speaker 1: do like people, but like I do, but I'm a

1387
00:59:59,840 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 1: very like I'm an energy person.

1388
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 2: I'm like's skeptical.

1389
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: I'm very skeptical. I'm very observant, and I'm like, hmmm,

1390
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 1: where she's very compassionate and not to say I'm not,

1391
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: but she's very compassionate, and she's very forgiving and loving

1392
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 1: and that's why. And I love that quality about you.

1393
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 1: A lot of times I'm like, Dumilia, I'll be nice

1394
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,920
Speaker 1: to them because I'm not in a mood. But and

1395
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 1: I was saying that, but there has to be a

1396
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:24,080
Speaker 1: line between, like, how do you find that line between

1397
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 1: protecting your energy and like but also still being who

1398
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 1: you are, which is at your core you love people.

1399
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 1: You want to help people, and not everyone deserves your help, right,

1400
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 1: But it's hard to do that because it's just innately

1401
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 1: in you. So how do you find that line? Oh,

1402
01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 1: it is exhausting, Like I don't know about you, but

1403
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:49,160
Speaker 1: like I am ex I can be exhausted, exhausted by

1404
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 1: how much I have to give. I give so much

1405
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 1: on stage, I am the girlfriend that's being to my

1406
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:55,360
Speaker 1: girlfriend and the girlfriend that I just met at the

1407
01:00:55,400 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 1: gas station, Like it is exhausting. And I even remember

1408
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,800
Speaker 1: seeing a shaman actually like years ago, and she expressed

1409
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:03,600
Speaker 1: to me that when you are that way, it's very

1410
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 1: porous and you can pull people's energy into you, and

1411
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 1: then that's even more exhausting. And I think it's just

1412
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:10,520
Speaker 1: about being authentic. I think it's just about really being

1413
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,400
Speaker 1: like can I give more today? Or do I have

1414
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 1: to set a boundary for myself today today it's just

1415
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 1: not the day.

1416
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 2: I don't have it. I don't have it today.

1417
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 1: It's a constant, I think for me, especially a balance,

1418
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 1: a balance like of being like do.

1419
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 2: You have that in your real house today?

1420
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:28,440
Speaker 1: How are you feeling today and still being self and

1421
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 1: not feeling bad about being like I don't have it

1422
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 1: today and not showing like not showing up or drawing

1423
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:36,280
Speaker 1: the boundary out of spite, but just more out of

1424
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:39,160
Speaker 1: like protection, just yeah, like I can't, Yeah, I just

1425
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 1: don't have it, And like I can be very skeptical

1426
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 1: of people as well, and I can see people and

1427
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:48,760
Speaker 1: read energy and be like, but at the same time,

1428
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,920
Speaker 1: I can also just make it like just be like,

1429
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:53,560
Speaker 1: I also see you for who it is, and like

1430
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 1: it's like I can be in your presence and then

1431
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 1: we don't ever have to speak again.

1432
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 3: And that's just I think that's about like what I

1433
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:03,600
Speaker 3: said about trusting my inner my feelings about people, and

1434
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:06,400
Speaker 3: you know, it changes, and people change, and then you

1435
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 3: grow and your third eye gets more clear and suddenly

1436
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:12,720
Speaker 3: you see people for who they are and you're like, damn,

1437
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 3: like I've befriended you all this time, but I didn't

1438
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 3: really notice this and this and that. But it's because

1439
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 3: I didn't want to notice it. That's because that's busy

1440
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 3: loving you. And sometimes I'm like, damn, had I just

1441
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 3: like really stuck with my gut perception, would I knew?

1442
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 2: I always already knew, And I don't know.

1443
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 3: If you do this, I will forgive them about fucking

1444
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 3: I will not forget never never.

1445
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:35,880
Speaker 2: It's impossible. And this is what I'm saying, Like we

1446
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:37,400
Speaker 2: hear this thing, it's just like, oh, we just need

1447
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 2: to move on.

1448
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 1: It's just like no, Okay, I can forgive you, that's fine,

1449
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 1: but don't ever expect me to forget some shit. And

1450
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: so if I see characteristics in you that trigger this thing,

1451
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: then I have not forgotten. We definitely gon't have a

1452
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 1: problem because there's no growth here. And it's not about

1453
01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 1: me holding onto shit. It's about me looking at you

1454
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 1: and being like, you're not growing, You're stagnant, and I

1455
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 1: can't be around.

1456
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 2: I can't ask it. No, it's not happening. T shirt,

1457
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 2: I can't. She said, he's going up on the store. Yeah,

1458
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:05,160
Speaker 2: that's what.

1459
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying, Like, we can't erase things.

1460
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 1: You cannot erase things. You can work on healing, But

1461
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 1: healing is an inside job but also requires if you

1462
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 1: got some shit. It's like, if you keep touching the stove,

1463
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 1: that burn is never going to heal properly. If you

1464
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 1: keep opening up that wound and allowing that stove to

1465
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,840
Speaker 1: get that close to that wound, it's never going to heal.

1466
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 1: So it's just like that with people. Gotta take responsibility.

1467
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:31,600
Speaker 1: You got to you gotta set boundaries. You cannot be

1468
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 1: afraid to set boundaries to just be like it's fine,

1469
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 1: Like I'll get into arguments with my fiance and I'll

1470
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 1: be like, you know, he'll say certain things and if

1471
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:42,880
Speaker 1: we're we're not aligned energetically. And I know I'm in

1472
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 1: my feelings and I know I have feelings.

1473
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 2: And I need a space to come to him. And

1474
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 2: he's not a very emotional person like I am. He's cancer.

1475
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,600
Speaker 1: He is a gema who I hadn't my baby daddy,

1476
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:53,160
Speaker 1: who is a Gemini. I will say he's not a

1477
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:55,720
Speaker 1: crazy Gemini, but he definitely has a duality to him,

1478
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 1: and he is. He can be sensitive and he can

1479
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 1: also be He can be on and off at the

1480
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,760
Speaker 1: same time. But I know when he's off, so he'll

1481
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 1: be like, what's wrong, And I'll be like, I don't

1482
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:07,560
Speaker 1: feel safe to share my feelings with you because I

1483
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 1: don't feel like you're in a position to receive what

1484
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 1: I have to say right now. And he'll be like,

1485
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 1: well what, And that's just like but that's just the

1486
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 1: reality of it. I know what I'm seeing, I know

1487
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:18,000
Speaker 1: what I'm feeling. It's not that I think that you're not.

1488
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 1: I'm setting a boundary for myself. I'm not gonna treat

1489
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 1: you any differently, but like bruh, Like, we can't talk

1490
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:27,280
Speaker 1: about this right now because we're not we're not gelling.

1491
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 1: So let me not try to force a square into

1492
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:32,240
Speaker 1: a circle right now. Like, so, let we just come

1493
01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:34,600
Speaker 1: back to it when it's time. And that is that

1494
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 1: is a new that is new melody because once upon

1495
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 1: a time and.

1496
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:39,720
Speaker 2: Be like, we're gonna talk about this right now. We

1497
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 2: have to talk about it now. We're gonna sit here

1498
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 2: and talk about our feelings. I don't care and you

1499
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 2: expect change to happen overnight.

1500
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 1: I have really worked on letting go of expectations of

1501
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:51,360
Speaker 1: other people to arrive where you are at the same time.

1502
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 1: But what we're not gonna do is we're not going

1503
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:56,800
Speaker 1: to stop growing. That's what we're not gonna do. Yeah,

1504
01:04:56,920 --> 01:04:57,439
Speaker 1: like we can.

1505
01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:58,240
Speaker 2: We can do this.

1506
01:04:58,320 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 1: If you look at life and you go like this,

1507
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:02,120
Speaker 1: at least we move in the same direction, you know

1508
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,400
Speaker 1: what I mean. We're moving, Sometimes we stop at the

1509
01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:07,160
Speaker 1: same point. Sometimes we're a little off. But if we're

1510
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 1: not progressing, it's not gonna happen. And that's in every relationship.

1511
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 1: I agree.

1512
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 2: I'm so happy we have another fellow sensitive ass.

1513
01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:17,560
Speaker 3: Can oh you're sensitive ass, because but a lot of

1514
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:21,280
Speaker 3: the feel like I need that I have joy and

1515
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:24,320
Speaker 3: exchanging energy with people sometimes. But You're right, there has

1516
01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 3: to be a limit, there has to be a boundaries

1517
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:26,240
Speaker 3: everybody can.

1518
01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:29,040
Speaker 1: I think it's like you have to like for me,

1519
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:33,280
Speaker 1: watching your joy and like the love you have for

1520
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 1: people like I. Honestly, I feel like it's affected me

1521
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:39,080
Speaker 1: in a very positive way. Honestly, But sometimes I feel

1522
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:42,600
Speaker 1: like you accept people because because you're so loving, you

1523
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 1: accept for who they are, and then you continue to

1524
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 1: allow them in your space even though but and not

1525
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:51,080
Speaker 1: realizing that you're still taking on their shit even though

1526
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:53,880
Speaker 1: you've accepted that they're you know what I mean, some

1527
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 1: people just got to be x made out, you know.

1528
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 1: And I'm learning that I don't get your id be

1529
01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 1: doing shit sometimes too, or I'm like, why why am

1530
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:07,040
Speaker 1: I still? And it's really fag. Yes, you're not changing

1531
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:10,760
Speaker 1: at all, But I just feel like it's you have

1532
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 1: to set boundaries and then though sometimes those boundaries mean

1533
01:06:13,320 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 1: like you're no longer here.

1534
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 2: See.

1535
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:17,479
Speaker 1: I think I think there's two ways, like you can

1536
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,200
Speaker 1: there's two ways to look at people. You can look

1537
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 1: at someone and be like, I'll trust you. You're gonna

1538
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:23,960
Speaker 1: have to earn my trust, or you'd be like, I

1539
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:26,240
Speaker 1: trust you until you give me reason not to. And

1540
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:28,040
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on that spectrum.

1541
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,760
Speaker 2: I try not to be as.

1542
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 3: Well.

1543
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:36,480
Speaker 1: I don't like I literally would just like I will

1544
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:38,640
Speaker 1: see you for who you are, and until I see

1545
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 1: something about you that I'm like, no, that's never gonna work,

1546
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 1: then you have to show up to be that. Like Otherwise,

1547
01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:46,560
Speaker 1: I'm just going to give you the opportunity to reveal

1548
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:49,959
Speaker 1: who you are as opposed to making a decision about

1549
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:51,640
Speaker 1: who you might be, because I've done that and then

1550
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 1: have turned out to see people.

1551
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:54,800
Speaker 2: I mean, if I thought that about my fiance, we

1552
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:55,800
Speaker 2: would not be here right now.

1553
01:06:56,400 --> 01:07:02,960
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, he likes white. When

1554
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:04,440
Speaker 1: I first met him, I was just like, oh, he

1555
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:06,600
Speaker 1: would like this. There was like and because when I

1556
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:08,720
Speaker 1: first met him we were both in separate relationships, I

1557
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:10,680
Speaker 1: would have never thought that we would have had anything

1558
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 1: in common. But as I met him and got to

1559
01:07:13,760 --> 01:07:16,240
Speaker 1: know him, I was like, Oh. When I reconnected with

1560
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 1: him years later, I was like, I was shocked. I

1561
01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, you're down to earth and

1562
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,479
Speaker 1: you're not this pretentious, stuffy pretty boy that I thought

1563
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:25,120
Speaker 1: like you're deep and you actually have more and you're

1564
01:07:25,160 --> 01:07:27,320
Speaker 1: kind of corny and funny, like I am like had

1565
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:30,080
Speaker 1: no idea and you like brown girls like oh okay,

1566
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:33,080
Speaker 1: like I really did not, you know, and so like

1567
01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:35,040
Speaker 1: I said, so in changing that, it's like show me

1568
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:36,840
Speaker 1: who you are and then give me a reason to

1569
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:37,520
Speaker 1: be like mm hmm.

1570
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 2: That's interesting that because I feel like I have I

1571
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:41,960
Speaker 2: with men.

1572
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:44,040
Speaker 3: I think it's a lot of my taintedness from growing

1573
01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:46,160
Speaker 3: up in the valley and living in shallow ass LA.

1574
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:48,640
Speaker 3: But if I like, I'll see black men and I

1575
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:50,280
Speaker 3: could be like, say there with the white cirl like,

1576
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 3: oh you're not into you don't like yourself? I will

1577
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:57,480
Speaker 3: make I have. I've made judgments. I've seen black man

1578
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,560
Speaker 3: with like a white woman like typical.

1579
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:02,160
Speaker 1: And I think about the people that judge you first

1580
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:03,200
Speaker 1: if they see you out on a date with the

1581
01:08:03,240 --> 01:08:03,600
Speaker 1: white guy.

1582
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:05,680
Speaker 7: White men love you, I know they do, but I

1583
01:08:05,800 --> 01:08:09,400
Speaker 7: keep trying, but I want, like, I think I found

1584
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 7: a lot of that was because I grew up here,

1585
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 7: and I think there's a lot of self hate issues

1586
01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:18,160
Speaker 7: with black men in LA because that's just the vibe.

1587
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,519
Speaker 2: But I know you grew up in Canada. He grew

1588
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:20,880
Speaker 2: up in.

1589
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 3: Canada apparently and wherever that girl message just Vaughn Canada and.

1590
01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:31,040
Speaker 2: So okay, maybe is it not my experience just growing

1591
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:31,719
Speaker 2: up in law?

1592
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,559
Speaker 3: What is your what is your take on? Like okay,

1593
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:36,040
Speaker 3: how I mean, I've been to Canada, But what's the

1594
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:40,439
Speaker 3: racial like like integration or like black men?

1595
01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:42,680
Speaker 2: I don't know what's the temperature? What's the temperature? So

1596
01:08:42,720 --> 01:08:46,559
Speaker 2: I mean I grew up. I grew up. I feel

1597
01:08:46,560 --> 01:08:46,960
Speaker 2: like it's.

1598
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:49,760
Speaker 1: A cultural thing in Canada more than it is a

1599
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,920
Speaker 1: racing or at least in Toronto, because Toronto is so

1600
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:55,200
Speaker 1: multicultural that it was like seeing a black guy with

1601
01:08:55,200 --> 01:08:57,920
Speaker 1: a Filipino girl was just like, yeah, she's down, and

1602
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 1: so like it wasn't a weird thing to be like,

1603
01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:02,120
Speaker 1: oh it's weird, Like my best friend is Filipino. Of

1604
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:04,200
Speaker 1: course he's down with a Caribbean guy. Like of course

1605
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 1: we all are, you know. So for me it was

1606
01:09:06,040 --> 01:09:07,639
Speaker 1: like culturally.

1607
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:11,320
Speaker 2: It was never a race thing for me, I guess

1608
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:11,840
Speaker 2: per se Lie.

1609
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:13,880
Speaker 1: I remember being in elementary school and like one of

1610
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 1: my favorite boyfriends that I ever had, he was like

1611
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,680
Speaker 1: Chilean and it was like he was Spanish and I

1612
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:18,439
Speaker 1: had it for him.

1613
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 2: In sixth grade, you know what I mean. But it

1614
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:22,080
Speaker 2: was just culture.

1615
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:24,080
Speaker 1: I think it wasn't really race, And I feel like

1616
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:26,160
Speaker 1: the race thing comes up a lot here in America.

1617
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:29,000
Speaker 2: It's very different in Canada, especially in Toronto.

1618
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 1: Our difference is our culture are melting pot is a

1619
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:34,560
Speaker 1: strength and celebrated and highly revered.

1620
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:36,240
Speaker 2: Whereas out here, I feel like there are.

1621
01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:40,280
Speaker 1: Hardline drawn between in culture and it comes from the

1622
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:41,400
Speaker 1: history of what it is.

1623
01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:42,960
Speaker 2: It's just like, are you with us or are you not?

1624
01:09:43,520 --> 01:09:46,080
Speaker 1: Because for a long time y'all wasn't with us, you know,

1625
01:09:46,160 --> 01:09:48,960
Speaker 1: so there's a different thing. We have to check a box.

1626
01:09:49,160 --> 01:09:49,639
Speaker 1: Whose team?

1627
01:09:49,640 --> 01:09:51,160
Speaker 2: What's squat? Are you representing? You know what I mean?

1628
01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:54,200
Speaker 1: Like, there's a lot more I feel allyship in Canada.

1629
01:09:54,479 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 2: I'm not saying the racism doesn't exist.

1630
01:09:56,439 --> 01:09:58,800
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that those stereotypes and norms like I

1631
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:01,760
Speaker 1: come from guy where my family comes from Guyana, where

1632
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:04,360
Speaker 1: my cousins look nothing like me. Like i have cousins

1633
01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:06,200
Speaker 1: that are white with blue eyes, and then I've got

1634
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:08,559
Speaker 1: cousins that are darker with curliers, super kinky hair, and

1635
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:11,120
Speaker 1: like different curl patterns and different textures. And it's just

1636
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:16,960
Speaker 1: like However, there is a deep lying historic racism that

1637
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:20,519
Speaker 1: happens amongst all black people because of howism of colorism,

1638
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,760
Speaker 1: because of how we were distributed, for lack of a

1639
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:27,280
Speaker 1: better word. But you know, these these are deep things

1640
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,160
Speaker 1: that we come to. But it's amazing to me to

1641
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:30,519
Speaker 1: see that we can still do that to each other.

1642
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:33,200
Speaker 1: But we still don't celebrate like all that it is,

1643
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,680
Speaker 1: all that we did that card just stop. Oh my

1644
01:10:35,760 --> 01:10:40,759
Speaker 1: bad that we still don't celebrate all that. The beauty

1645
01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:43,240
Speaker 1: of that of that is like I don't look at

1646
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:45,520
Speaker 1: any other race and see this much diversity.

1647
01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:47,439
Speaker 2: And so for me, it's like hmm.

1648
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:51,480
Speaker 1: Okay, and and I think that I don't know me personally,

1649
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:57,080
Speaker 1: I'm becoming more open to allyship as far as here

1650
01:10:57,080 --> 01:11:00,120
Speaker 1: in America. It's just like you might never know what

1651
01:11:00,160 --> 01:11:01,680
Speaker 1: it is to be a woman of color or a

1652
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:04,040
Speaker 1: black woman, but you better be an ally to us

1653
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:07,240
Speaker 1: white man Asian man like you better be like, I

1654
01:11:07,280 --> 01:11:09,640
Speaker 1: don't know what the experience is, but I'm down to

1655
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:12,479
Speaker 1: support what your rights and what you're fighting for are.

1656
01:11:12,800 --> 01:11:14,800
Speaker 1: And that goes for your white girlfriends, that goes for

1657
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:17,280
Speaker 1: your Spanish girlfriends, that goes for your Asian girlfriends. That

1658
01:11:17,320 --> 01:11:20,040
Speaker 1: goes for men, women, all your people, your coworkers, that

1659
01:11:20,080 --> 01:11:23,920
Speaker 1: goes for everybody you know. So I just feel like, yeah,

1660
01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:27,360
Speaker 1: like it's it's different. I definitely had a different perspective

1661
01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 1: going here, and I had to come here and learn

1662
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:32,720
Speaker 1: the culture of what African American history was, which is

1663
01:11:32,760 --> 01:11:36,439
Speaker 1: not African Canadian history it's very different, which is not

1664
01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:40,240
Speaker 1: Caribbean history exactly the same, and have a certain level

1665
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:42,400
Speaker 1: of sensitivity and awareness and understand what that is.

1666
01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:50,920
Speaker 2: For sure, absolutely interesting. Come to Canada. It's good. Look

1667
01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:53,960
Speaker 2: you got a bug brother, Like, yeah, I might need

1668
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:54,559
Speaker 2: to get out of here.

1669
01:11:54,720 --> 01:12:00,559
Speaker 1: I said, I've been solicited for arranged marriage marriages for sure.

1670
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:06,479
Speaker 2: Do you have anything else? Do we have any questions?

1671
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,639
Speaker 1: Anybody want to answer? I need to wrap it up soon.

1672
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:11,519
Speaker 2: About Vaughn, Canada, I think she answered it.

1673
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:15,000
Speaker 3: She said, how was it like growing up in Canada

1674
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:16,840
Speaker 3: and Vaughn in particular, and when are you coming back

1675
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:17,280
Speaker 3: to visit?

1676
01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:22,479
Speaker 1: Canada was amazing, Vaughn was trash, Vaughn was like as

1677
01:12:22,520 --> 01:12:23,920
Speaker 1: soon as we moved from the city to Vaughn, it

1678
01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:26,200
Speaker 1: was a complete culture shock because I grew up in

1679
01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:28,080
Speaker 1: the city with so much diversity and then we moved

1680
01:12:28,080 --> 01:12:30,679
Speaker 1: to the suburbs and it was all Italian, all white,

1681
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:33,720
Speaker 1: and I remember coming from the city and I grew

1682
01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:35,360
Speaker 1: up as like a girl in the city with so

1683
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:37,479
Speaker 1: much diversity. I never even looked at myself as different

1684
01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:39,679
Speaker 1: until people started assuming that because I came from the city,

1685
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:41,680
Speaker 1: I was a part of a gang. Don't agree, And

1686
01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:43,400
Speaker 1: I was like, what are we talking about? Do you

1687
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:45,320
Speaker 1: have a straight A student? Whether we were talking about

1688
01:12:45,640 --> 01:12:47,920
Speaker 1: like I do well, like what are we talking about?

1689
01:12:47,880 --> 01:12:50,240
Speaker 1: Indie streets like that, I played sports, like what are

1690
01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:54,519
Speaker 1: we talking about? And and I will say that that

1691
01:12:54,600 --> 01:13:01,040
Speaker 1: experience gave me a wonderful tool in being a minority

1692
01:13:01,320 --> 01:13:03,640
Speaker 1: in a school where there was predominantly white people and

1693
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:07,320
Speaker 1: having certain judgments like put on you and feeling ganged

1694
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:10,639
Speaker 1: up on our times really made me show up as

1695
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:13,240
Speaker 1: my own leader and forced me to recognize that I

1696
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:16,120
Speaker 1: can be adaptable in any situation, that like, it does

1697
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:18,479
Speaker 1: not matter where I am, drop me off anywhere, and

1698
01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:22,040
Speaker 1: I will survive. And that was a hard lesson to learn,

1699
01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:24,759
Speaker 1: because at times it was very isolating and very sad.

1700
01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:27,200
Speaker 1: And I remember, even when I was thirteen, the one

1701
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:29,479
Speaker 1: girl that I've identified with her family was from where

1702
01:13:29,479 --> 01:13:32,320
Speaker 1: my family was from in the Caribbean, and even though

1703
01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:35,000
Speaker 1: we looked different, we still had a very cultural connection.

1704
01:13:35,040 --> 01:13:36,760
Speaker 1: And then she died tragically in a car accident right

1705
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:39,080
Speaker 1: before we started high school, and I remember being like,

1706
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:41,840
Speaker 1: oh my god, the one person I found here is

1707
01:13:41,880 --> 01:13:45,320
Speaker 1: now gone, and it was crazy and tragic. But again,

1708
01:13:46,640 --> 01:13:50,320
Speaker 1: all for the story, all for the character building. But yeah,

1709
01:13:50,439 --> 01:13:53,120
Speaker 1: like it was not the best experience growing up there.

1710
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:55,600
Speaker 1: I really would have loved to have more diversity in

1711
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:58,360
Speaker 1: my high school experience. But like I said, it definitely

1712
01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:03,600
Speaker 1: prepared me for being adaptable and not being divined by

1713
01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:07,479
Speaker 1: now not allowing myself to be defined by my environment,

1714
01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:12,920
Speaker 1: but to define myself in the environment. Well, I feel

1715
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:18,040
Speaker 1: like I've learned so much. You're so just intelligent, well spoken,

1716
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:22,120
Speaker 1: like strong, like you really have a stronghold on your

1717
01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:24,759
Speaker 1: beliefs that I really respect them. That's beautiful because.

1718
01:14:24,520 --> 01:14:25,920
Speaker 2: You never know, like I don't, I don't know you.

1719
01:14:26,240 --> 01:14:27,000
Speaker 2: We just reached out.

1720
01:14:27,040 --> 01:14:35,240
Speaker 1: We were like, let's let's have a conversation, you know, honestly,

1721
01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:36,639
Speaker 1: like I don't know. Me and Tomial have had really

1722
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,519
Speaker 1: awesome everyone that we've connected with on this podcast, it's

1723
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:41,800
Speaker 1: always been such an amazing and learning experience.

1724
01:14:41,880 --> 01:14:45,960
Speaker 3: I believe define like like even in aesthetics and an aesthetation,

1725
01:14:46,040 --> 01:14:46,679
Speaker 3: I do lashes.

1726
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,640
Speaker 1: By the way, I've been admiring these lashes from this

1727
01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:51,559
Speaker 1: angle all show these.

1728
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:53,000
Speaker 3: Are like little flair because I can't do my own

1729
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,360
Speaker 3: I'm pretty good at what I do.

1730
01:14:54,479 --> 01:14:55,080
Speaker 1: I'm into them.

1731
01:14:55,080 --> 01:14:57,080
Speaker 2: But I always like, I always get really chill clients.

1732
01:14:57,120 --> 01:15:00,840
Speaker 3: I really completely in all aspects of life, believe in

1733
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:02,280
Speaker 3: like my gravitational pulls.

1734
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:03,960
Speaker 2: While people that are.

1735
01:15:04,040 --> 01:15:06,040
Speaker 3: Like minded and like, I never get like I go

1736
01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:07,800
Speaker 3: to people's houses so I can get some weird shit

1737
01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:08,280
Speaker 3: happening to me.

1738
01:15:08,479 --> 01:15:08,960
Speaker 1: I never do.

1739
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:11,840
Speaker 3: I'm like I found a new front, you know, like always,

1740
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:14,400
Speaker 3: and I think that that energy comes to the podcast.

1741
01:15:14,439 --> 01:15:16,680
Speaker 2: It's like we always just like come upon people that

1742
01:15:16,720 --> 01:15:19,080
Speaker 2: were like, oh, you're part of our tribe, come dinner.

1743
01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:22,559
Speaker 1: Yes at all, But it's because you're living with intention

1744
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:24,720
Speaker 1: and you're living in truth, and when you do that,

1745
01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:26,679
Speaker 1: you find of the people that are doing the same,

1746
01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:28,720
Speaker 1: and so like, that's not coincidence.

1747
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:30,080
Speaker 2: That's literally what you're doing.

1748
01:15:30,120 --> 01:15:32,200
Speaker 1: That's the work you're doing, that's the energy you're putting out,

1749
01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:33,840
Speaker 1: and that's the thing that more people need to be

1750
01:15:33,880 --> 01:15:36,000
Speaker 1: aware of is like everything is not happening to you,

1751
01:15:36,439 --> 01:15:39,000
Speaker 1: like whatever's going on in your life. Before you start

1752
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:40,840
Speaker 1: pointing at other people like why is this happening, take

1753
01:15:40,880 --> 01:15:43,720
Speaker 1: a look at yourself. Understand that, like your frequency that

1754
01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:47,439
Speaker 1: you're putting out there is happening because you're manifesting it.

1755
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:49,840
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds crazy some people that might

1756
01:15:49,880 --> 01:15:52,559
Speaker 1: be listening because they maybe haven't understood that, but it

1757
01:15:52,640 --> 01:15:54,800
Speaker 1: is one hundred percent true. And I always say this

1758
01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:57,000
Speaker 1: is one thing that people say is like even if

1759
01:15:57,000 --> 01:15:58,680
Speaker 1: you take something small, if you want to test it,

1760
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:00,920
Speaker 1: just start saying so they're like, just like I want

1761
01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:03,439
Speaker 1: to see more red flowers. We want to see more

1762
01:16:03,439 --> 01:16:05,200
Speaker 1: red flowers, and then just see how many red flowers

1763
01:16:05,200 --> 01:16:05,880
Speaker 1: you start to see.

1764
01:16:06,040 --> 01:16:08,720
Speaker 2: It really is all of it. It's not just all

1765
01:16:08,760 --> 01:16:10,120
Speaker 2: serie listening and algorithms.

1766
01:16:10,160 --> 01:16:10,320
Speaker 1: You know.

1767
01:16:10,479 --> 01:16:13,120
Speaker 2: It's like we really are we really are.

1768
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,439
Speaker 1: Powerful beings, and we do have the ability to manifest

1769
01:16:15,479 --> 01:16:17,720
Speaker 1: exactly what we want and who we want around. And

1770
01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:20,960
Speaker 1: so there's just no coincidence that from Chavon to Shannon

1771
01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,000
Speaker 1: to Q and Germany at.

1772
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:27,960
Speaker 2: The beginning of my career, you know that all.

1773
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:30,800
Speaker 1: These things just come full circle into line, which doesn't

1774
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:32,760
Speaker 1: seem like it all should connect, but it does. But

1775
01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:35,160
Speaker 1: when you are in your right space and timing, you

1776
01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:36,880
Speaker 1: end up where you are supposed to. And so I'm

1777
01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:38,439
Speaker 1: happy to be at the table. I'm happy to be here.

1778
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:42,800
Speaker 1: Time more drives. Yes, well, thank you so much for

1779
01:16:42,880 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 1: taking time out of her day to come hang out

1780
01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:48,800
Speaker 1: with us. Can you tell our listeners where they can

1781
01:16:48,800 --> 01:16:53,400
Speaker 1: find you? Yes, at Melanie Fiona on every social media platform,

1782
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:57,439
Speaker 1: Melanifiona dot com, Melanie Fiona TV on YouTube, because I

1783
01:16:57,439 --> 01:16:59,600
Speaker 1: think for your listeners if they want to come, I

1784
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:01,479
Speaker 1: did a say alas called Living Awake where I did

1785
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:03,840
Speaker 1: interview some of my friends, chant being one of them

1786
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:06,640
Speaker 1: about their journey to their awakening moments, which was like

1787
01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:08,120
Speaker 1: a huge thing for me in twenty twelve.

1788
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:10,519
Speaker 2: So that was the pivot to wellness for me.

1789
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:12,559
Speaker 1: So I think that's a really good series that I

1790
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:16,280
Speaker 1: think people will appreciate there. And yeah, just hol it

1791
01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:18,880
Speaker 1: at me online, slide on my DM. I might end

1792
01:17:18,960 --> 01:17:24,360
Speaker 1: up at your table. All right, y'all, you know where

1793
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:28,040
Speaker 1: to find us at Good Mom's Underscore, a Bad Choices.

1794
01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:30,240
Speaker 3: Submit some hories and if you're in Atlanta or in

1795
01:17:30,240 --> 01:17:33,520
Speaker 3: a nearby city. You know, we're having our live motherfucking

1796
01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:37,200
Speaker 3: show on Sunday, October thirteenth. We expect you in the

1797
01:17:37,240 --> 01:17:40,840
Speaker 3: mother fucking building drinking tequila or whatever you drink.

1798
01:17:41,160 --> 01:17:43,559
Speaker 2: You know we'll be there. It'll be fun. Buy your tickets.

1799
01:17:43,560 --> 01:17:45,320
Speaker 2: The link is in our bio and.

1800
01:17:46,160 --> 01:17:47,679
Speaker 1: Bessie, we'll catch you next week.

1801
01:17:48,000 --> 01:18:10,120
Speaker 5: Bye bye, bye, puss puss Pus