WEBVTT - Governor Andy Beshear 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:05.920 My partner who's not here, but he wanted me to 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:10.040 tell you that Isaac Shelby is one of his great 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:14.920 great great grandparents, as is f from McDowell. 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:18.160 Yeah, Isaac Shelby's candlesticks are in this room over here. 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:21.640 Stop it now. Every governor leaves. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.120 Something in the mansion, and they were silversmith's and so 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:26.160 his candlesticks. 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:26.360 Are right in there. 0:00:26.560 --> 0:00:27.200 That's amazing. 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:28.400 He's our first governor. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:29.960 And then he came back in the War of eighteen 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:31.640 twelve because he was an actual. 0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:34.200 General and they needed a governor who was a general. 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:38.120 How extraordinary. Well, there we are. So that's my Batucky connection. 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:39.680 That's a good one. 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:45.080 Hello, I'm mini driver. I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:49.400 was originally in nineteenth century parlor game where players would 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:52.760 ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing the 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:56.680 other player's true nature. In asking different people the same 0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:00.520 set of questions, you can make observations about which appear 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:03.160 to be universal. And it made me wonder, what if 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:06.200 these questions were just the jumping off point, what greater 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:09.440 depths would be revealed if I asked these questions as 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:13.479 conversation starters. So I adapted Prue's questionnaire and I wrote 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:16.440 my own seven questions that I personally think are pertinent 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.319 to a person's story. They are when and where were 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.840 you happiest? What is the quality you like least about yourself? 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:27.280 What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you? What 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.959 question would you most like answered, What person, place, or 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:33.880 experience has shaped you the most? What would be your 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.600 last meal? And can you tell me something in your 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:40.320 life that's grown out of a personal disaster? And I've 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:44.760 gathered a group of really remarkable people, ones that I 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.240 am honored and humbled to have had the chance to 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:50.000 engage with. You may not hear their answers to all 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.640 seven of these questions. We've whittled it down to which 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:57.559 questions felt closest to their experience, or the most surprising, 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:01.400 or created the most fertile ground to connect. 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:07.360 My guest today on many questions is the Governor of Kentucky, 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:11.280 Andy Busheer. Governor Vasher is currently serving his second term, 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.919 and his father, Steve, was also Governor of Kentucky. Andy 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:18.000 Busheer is an all too rare example of how the 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:21.240 schism between left and right can actually be bridged. He 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:24.160 is a Democrat in a predominantly Republican state. He is 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.760 a deacon of his church with a strong faith, who 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:29.639 is also pro choice, And in these challenging times where 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:31.919 it feels like there needs to be a new, more 0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:36.360 extreme word for partisanship, it's encouraging to see leadership that 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:39.120 holds on to its values whilst also speaking to and 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:42.640 serving all the people that represents. Governor Basheer has steered 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:46.079 Kentucky through COVID, the deadly tornado and flooding of twenty 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:49.400 twenty one and twenty twenty two, respectively, and most recently 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:51.760 the terrible flooding that happened in the state last week. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:55.400 I so enjoyed talking to him and was galvanized by 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:59.760 the reminder that calm, strong leadership that listens and so 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:07.720 still exists. Can you tell me when and when you 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:08.480 are happiest. 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.760 I am happiest when I'm with my kids and my wife, 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.720 and that's saying something because my kids are now teenagers. 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:20.120 I have a fifteen and a fourteen year old, but 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:24.560 their births changed my life forever. I was a practicing attorney. 0:03:24.680 --> 0:03:29.680 We were doing well, but just looking at those two 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:33.359 kids a year and three days apart. It definitely gave 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:37.880 me motivation that what I leave to them has to 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.960 be more than just financial support. It has to be 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:44.720 a better world, a country that's not broken, and that 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.920 really motivated me for the way that my life changed. 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:51.280 They give me purpose every day. They're both so smart 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:55.600 and such interesting human beings. Just being around them when 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.320 they're willing to be around me, now. 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.000 Even they're both teenagers, is pretty special. 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.440 Do you find because I know I have this with 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:06.640 my son, who is interested in theater and is a 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:09.880 really good actor, but there's an interesting relationship between him 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:11.360 and it because of what I do for the thing. 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:13.560 And I wonder that when you see your children and 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:15.000 you observe like who they are. 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:15.200 Like, do. 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.320 You see the lawyer in them? Do you see the 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:21.280 politician in them? Do you go goodness? Or is it 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:23.520 free wheeling and you're kind of letting them tell you 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:24.040 who they are. 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:26.080 Well, they get asked about it a lot, because of 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:29.400 course my dad was governor, and well of course first 0:04:29.440 --> 0:04:33.479 father son set of governors in Kentucky's history, and so 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:37.360 they get that question. Maybe they even get that pressure 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:39.479 from folks. But right now, it seems like they both 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:41.680 want to pursue their own paths. 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:44.919 I want to be supportive of whatever path they choose. 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:47.920 My son, I think, has gotten a little more interested 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.680 in it over time. He ran for Beta Club vice 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:54.080 president for the state and one which was pretty incredible 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:57.360 because in high school I ran for everything and lost 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.400 every time. And I think part of it is I 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.480 didn't have my why. You know, the why you're running, 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:05.760 the authentic why that I think is so important, not 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.359 just in politics, but in leadership. It was what I 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:11.400 thought I was supposed to do, and so I would run, 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.719 and if there were three people running, i'd come in fourth. 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:15.599 But they always say you shouldn't peak too early. 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:18.919 By the way, I think that being humbled early in 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:23.880 your chosen field is actually integral to finding your way 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.840 in it. I actually think it's necessary because you have 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:27.680 to keep choosing it. 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:29.240 I tell Henry that a lot. 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:31.800 Actually, so there's no such thing as failure because it's 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:33.520 all your journey to whatever it is that you are 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:34.080 choosing to do. 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:35.159 I think that's right. 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.120 And I also think that it helps you to have 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:41.360 a smaller ego and to not get eaten up by 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:43.600 what your profession is. You know, you see a lot 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:46.480 of people who are in elected offices that get in 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:49.320 there and they get so eaten up by the partisanship 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.880 that that becomes what they do instead of trying to 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:55.800 come in every day and create that better world for 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:56.320 your people. 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:58.799 I know it's a really tough question, but in terms 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:02.320 of happiness and kind of where we are, how do 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:05.400 you approach that the schism between what someone else's happiness 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:07.719 looks like and what someone else's happiness looks like and 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:09.640 where sort of where we are in the world. 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.240 You know, you're leading a. 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:15.839 State of very very different people from eastern and western Kentucky, 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.120 you know, from the urban areas to the deeply rural, Like, 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:22.240 how do you speak to the schism of different happiness? 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:25.360 Hey, you start with the recognition that when people wake 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:27.640 up in the morning, they're not thinking about politics. 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:28.920 They're not thinking about. 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:30.880 Their party, and they're not thinking about the next election. 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.719 They're thinking about their job and whether they make enough 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:36.440 to support their family. They're thinking about their next doctor's 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:39.760 appointment for themselves, their parents, their kids, and they're thinking 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:42.560 about the roads and bridges they drive every day, and 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:44.880 think about the school they drop their kids off at, 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:47.000 and they're thinking about whether they feel safe. 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:47.560 In their community. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:53.040 If you don't feel secure in those areas, now, it's hard. 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:54.120 To be happy. 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:57.360 It's hard to reach other things that people argue about 0:06:57.400 --> 0:07:02.200 that divide people. But those more areas are how I govern, 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:05.200 and they speak to everyone. You know, the goal of 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:08.440 governing shouldn't be to make Democrats better off or Republicans 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:08.880 better off. 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:10.960 It should be to make everybody better off. 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:14.960 And when you provide opportunity, when you open a new hospital, 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:17.720 when you open a road that saves somebody twenty minutes 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.000 each way on a commute, now that gives them more 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:23.560 time to make those memories with their families that improve 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:27.400 their happiness. So what I've seen is being a Democrat 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:31.240 in a state that typically votes heavily Republican, but having 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.679 a really high approval rating is about, you know, first 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:36.800 that focus that these are the things that matter the 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:39.200 most in your life, and we're going to make sure 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:42.440 that we spend eighty percent of our time there. But 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:44.600 I think the second piece is you've got to talk 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:48.640 to people and not at them. You've got to listen 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:52.120 to make sure that we're all using the same vocabulary. 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:56.720 I mean, we've gotten into sanitize advocacy speak in so 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.640 many different areas, Like we use the term substance, use 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:04.200 discory order for addiction. Right, everybody I know that's gone 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:08.440 through addiction calls it addiction. People that are hungry are hungry, 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:11.920 They're not food insecure. And so when we start using 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:15.120 these terms, we lose the meaning and the emotion, and 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:17.440 we're talking about folks that are going through something very 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:20.600 difficult and emotional. And then I think the last pieces 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:23.480 is sharing your why. And for me, that's my faith. 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:27.360 And so when I make a decision that other people 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:31.040 might disagree with, especially one of these hot culture war 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:33.559 type issues, I try to tell people. 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:36.760 Why and genuinely why I made the decisions. 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.920 So when I was running for reelection, our legislature passed 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:43.600 the nastiest anti LGBTQ plus bill that we'd ever. 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:44.800 Seen, and I vetoed it. 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:47.560 And I vetoed it because I believe that all children 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:49.920 are children of God, and I didn't want anybody picking 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.760 on those kids. And a whole general Assembly was picking 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:56.200 on those kids that already far too many people pick on. 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:58.960 I wanted them to know that their governor had their back. 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.360 So I explained it that way, and the next day 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:03.360 I remember somebody walking up to me and I thought, oh, 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:06.240 I know what's coming, and instead he stuck out his 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:08.840 hand and I shook it, and he said, I'm not 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:11.280 sure I agree with you, but I know you're doing 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:14.000 what you think is right. And so if we can 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:17.480 get there as people, not just in politics, because sometimes 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.920 right now just the background of politics is keeping people 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:23.600 from speaking and being good neighbors. But if we can 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:25.880 get to that, why at least we can understand each 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:26.959 other a little bit better. 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:28.920 Yes, I agree completely. 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:32.599 The fundamental tenets of being a human being are fundamental 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:34.400 regardless of your politics, for sure. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:36.720 And I think when you said human being, what's missing 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:40.199 right now out of our federal government is humanity. 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:42.000 I couldn't agree with you more. 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:45.800 It's a lack of empathy or really even sympathy. I mean, 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:48.760 to have people that are being laid off, veterans, people 0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:50.360 who have. 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:52.520 Given service to the minds to this country. 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:55.640 And then you can understand sometimes if you need to 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:58.240 downsize something, but to be gleeful about it, to tell 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:00.640 them it's their fault, to dance around on stage with 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:03.760 the chainsaw during it, it's just mean and it's cruel, 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:06.040 and that's not how our government should act. 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.120 It is so extraordinarily in conflict in that none of 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:12.200 it makes any sense. There's no follow through with the cruelty. 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.960 It seems cruel for cruelty's sake. In the moment, I 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:18.840 don't believe that that is sustainable. I think that it 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:22.400 is taking a sledgehammer right now. But it's impossible to 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:24.880 gut this many lives and for that not to be 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:27.880 ramifications for that. So I hope the midterms are a 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:33.160 reflection of the American people experiencing what everybody has been 0:10:33.200 --> 0:10:36.600 experiencing since this administration began. 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:40.480 And it's not who people are. Yeah, we're absolutely we're 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:44.240 not through flooding again. And what I see every time 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:48.679 during and after our whole group of people inside someone's 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:51.160 house helping the mucket out and dry it out. And 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:54.360 most of those people haven't even started on their own house. 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:58.200 They're going to start with their neighbor, showing that humanity. 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:00.520 You're going to see people that have never had someone 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:02.920 walk up and offer to help. You're going to see 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.120 people take shifts in the public school that's open with 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:08.440 cots for people to have a warm place to stay. 0:11:08.720 --> 0:11:12.320 If there is a bright side to having been through 0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:15.240 so many natural disasters. It's that you see people are 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:19.679 fundamentally good kind that don't like cruelty, and I think 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.560 the country's going to wake up and ultimately reject what 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:23.120 we're seeing. 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:24.920 I agree with you, I ready do. 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:32.000 What is the quality you like least about yourself? 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:38.240 I will admit I am pretty self critical, and I 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:41.280 carry mistakes with me for decades. 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:44.520 Sometimes they're funny, but I still carry them. 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:48.760 During the pandemic, I remember having someone walk in who 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.600 was helping us with unemployment because so many people needed 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:54.520 the help and our system, which was older than I am, 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:58.199 was getting overwhelmed. And he told me somebody had applied 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:03.000 for benefits under the name too Pak Shakurt. And I 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:05.800 heard that and I got all angry, and I went 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.240 out to my daily update and I said, I can't 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:11.640 believe this is happening. People are trying to take advantage 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:14.800 of us at a time that's so difficult. I can't 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:18.319 believe somebody filed for benefits under the name Tupac Shakurd. 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.000 Well turns out there was a guy in Lexington and 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:26.120 his name is court h and he's he's a good guy. 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:29.439 And I found out about it that night right after 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.760 I'd said it in front of millions of people. 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:33.160 Wow. I mean I. 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.280 Basically run over it. I hadn't intended to, but I 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.200 still had. And so I called him that night and 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.640 I said I'm sorry, and he was very graceful about it. 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:45.040 It is very supportive, even with all of this and 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.600 all the text messages and calls he'd been getting. 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:49.480 So what did I do The next day? 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.680 I walked out, looked at the same cameras and said, 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:55.080 I'd made a mistake. And even though that made some 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.440 late night TV shows, that's not how I thought I'd 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:01.320 be on Jimmy Kimmel. I still to think about the 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.600 fact that I cause that individual pain, and I just 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:06.800 wish I could go back in time and have taken 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:10.680 an extra breath. Knowing that that's a human being who, 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.920 at least for that period of time, probably felt pretty 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.360 bad about what his governor had said about him. 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.360 Well, I think that that's all any of us can 0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:22.400 do right is own our errors. I was having a 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:25.520 conversation with my son the other day and saying, it 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:27.440 really is, if you do it with your whole heart 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:29.960 and you really are sorry, it doesn't need to go 0:13:29.960 --> 0:13:32.720 any further. You don't have to keep on fighting, and 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:34.280 you don't have to keep on carrying it with you 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.320 if you've really said that you're sorry. 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:37.400 I think I. 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:40.920 Think that's true personally. I also think it's true politically. 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:44.160 I mean, we've seen, whether it's this administration or some others, 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:47.560 make some real mistakes, but you rarely see somebody come 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.080 forward and say we messed up another weren't. 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:54.120 When we're talking about the tariffs and the president is 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:58.680 saying that they are negotiable, and then his chief of 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:01.200 staff or his pressure is coming out saying they are 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:05.640 absolutely categorically non negotiable. There's no follow through, there's no accountability, 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:08.319 and that, as I said before, I just don't believe 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:10.360 that that is sustainable. And I think we have to 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:13.480 keep trusting in the American experiment and that it is 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:17.480 an experiment, and that the pendulum has just swung very 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:18.600 far to the right. 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:20.760 Well, and I think a lot of people out there 0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:23.320 feel that the pendulum maybe was too far to the 0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:25.120 left and now is too far to the right. 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:26.920 Now most of them just wanted to stop. 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:28.000 Yeah, I agree, to. 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.280 Be able to go on vacation with their family and 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:31.480 not have to turn on the news. 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:33.320 And say what happened now? 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.040 And I think the way that we pushed through this 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:41.080 faster isn't some voice from the Democratic Party. 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:43.000 It's everybody's voice together. 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:43.600 Yeah. 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.120 It's taking a picture of how much more your bill 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.920 is at the grocery store and posting it with your story. 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.240 If you've been laid off from the federal government, you 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.960 were doing a great job. You were serving your country, 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:57.880 telling your story. It's all those collective voices together that 0:14:57.960 --> 0:14:59.720 I think can make such a difference. 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:11.480 Groundswell, I agree. 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.040 Can you tell me about something that has grown out 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:19.240 of a personal disaster. 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:23.440 This one's a hard one for me because tomorrow is 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.520 the two year anniversary that I lost my friend. 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.320 Tommy in a shooting. So it was sorry. 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:34.640 It was hard and to have to be governor when 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:38.080 you're headed to the scene instead of being a friend. 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:40.760 To have to call his widow because no one else would. 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:44.200 Once I got the information, and actually tell somebody you 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:48.240 know and care about that their husband is gone. It's 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.400 one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:52.160 I can still see in my head where I was 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:55.480 standing when I made that call. There's a room in 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:59.240 the hospital that we went to where she was that 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:03.560 I just can't walk in it just it is too painful. 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:06.320 And this was such a great friend. 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:09.720 Remember how we met, which was funny in and of itself. 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.080 We'd gone up to something and Frankfurt, we were both 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.120 living in Louisville, hadn't met, but we're on the same trip, 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:18.320 and somebody came in and just blasted my dad, not 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.360 knowing I was in the room, and he left and 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.480 we all burst out laughing because it was so uncomfortable, 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:24.680 and started a conversation. 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:26.440 Ended up saying we want. 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.280 To get everybody together to go to dinner the next week, 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:31.400 And it turned out we lived four houses away, and 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:33.760 we didn't find that out until we were at dinner. 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.400 I became my banker, I became his lawyer. We built 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:41.760 a lot of all of this together. But what I'll 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:44.440 say is I get to take the best parts of him, 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:50.720 which were kindness and acceptance. I've formed a stronger relationship 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:55.320 with his kids, and maybe a little more sympathy and 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:59.240 empathy for others that have gone through tragedy and have 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:03.120 lost people, especially under really difficult circumstances. 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:04.000 The thing about. 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:06.639 Grief is it can creep up on you so fast. 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:09.119 I mean, there are some days where this feels like 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:12.000 it happened twenty years ago and some days where it 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:15.080 feels like it happened twenty minutes ago. You know, trauma 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:17.320 and grief, you can be taken right back to the 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.640 moment that you got the first text that something was happening, 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:22.760 that you got in the car going as fast as 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.399 you could that on the tenth time that you're trying 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:29.920 your friend and they can't pick up that, you start knowing. 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:32.480 And then when you look at the officer that you 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:34.399 know there and you ask the question, you can just 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:39.040 you can see it in their eyes. It can grab 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:42.000 you again pretty quickly. But also now being able to 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:45.040 recognize that and other people you know, Sydney Clove that 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:46.880 ever wanted to be a part of. But when you are, 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:49.320 your ability to be there for other people that are 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:51.720 going through tough times is maybe you're just a little 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.880 bit better at it because you're going through it. 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:55.960 Absolutely. 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:59.040 I think that is the great gift of grief, is 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:02.359 that there is someone who can walk with you through it, 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:04.800 who has been through it as well, and that once 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:08.600 you've experienced it yourself, you can offer that grace and 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:12.440 that service and that love to someone else because you're right. 0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:16.080 Grief it no, it has no sense of time. It 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:19.720 can feel just like yesterday or twenty years ago. It's 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:23.639 interesting I wrote about when losing my mum, and I 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:26.840 learned about how to show up for the pain through 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:30.560 writing about it, and have definitely passed that on to 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:33.800 friends of mine, just the little things of how do 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:37.600 we accommodate the agony of unbearable loss. So again I 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:40.120 feel like Feather, you had to show up for your 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:47.960 friend under terrible circumstances, but also as a leader, and 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:50.919 you can give good counsel, you know, as a result 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:53.280 of that, which is truly amazing and truly when I 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.240 ask this question, the idea of things that grow out 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.240 of our agonies are personal agonies. 0:18:58.840 --> 0:18:59.600 There is growth. 0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:01.639 Maybe that's the blessing and that's the gift. 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.960 Well, it's always really important to me that someone's life 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:07.520 is not defined by their death. 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:09.720 That we don't let. 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:16.320 One horrible moment cloud all the incredible memories, the fun 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:19.880 memories that you had of your mom or I had 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:23.040 of my friend. I want to make sure that ninety 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:25.840 nine percent of the time I'm thinking about Tommy, I'm 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:30.119 thinking about all those great memories and just teaching me 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:33.760 to treasure every single one of them because life's short 0:19:33.880 --> 0:19:35.760 and our job is to be kind to each other 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:37.000 and to do good things. 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:40.280 Yeah, I agree, be kind to each other and do 0:19:40.359 --> 0:19:48.960 good things. Can you tell me what relationship, real or fictionalized, 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:50.320 defines love for you? 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:52.360 Well, i'd say too. 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:56.240 First, my wife and I just celebrated our nineteenth anniversary. 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:57.960 Oh congratulations, Wow, thank you. 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:01.240 I could not be more blessed. She is is incredible, 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:05.480 She is patient. She has gone through this entire journey 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.760 at my side, or I've gone through this entire journey. 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:09.280 At her side. 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:13.239