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Speaker 1: You don't know me concession I can't take back ow

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Speaker 1: arms speak TEXTA seven eight five nine two says I

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Speaker 1: really want to go get a massage, but I don't

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Speaker 1: know how to tell if the place offers massages or

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Speaker 1: quote massages.

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Speaker 2: Oh you know what? I found this out look at

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Speaker 2: the hours. Oh that's yeah. I saw one about purchasing

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Speaker 2: one from their elderly father and not knowing what they

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Speaker 2: were getting to.

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Speaker 1: God. Yeah, this person says, I'm just worried they'll ask

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Speaker 1: and I won't know how to say no.

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Speaker 2: Oh God, am I not good enough for you? Have

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Speaker 2: some boundaries? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: On this show we offer a different kind of stress relief,

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Speaker 1: the relief of getting your secrets off of your chest

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Speaker 1: and out into the open right here on the mass speaker. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and also a little under the table stuff if you

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Speaker 1: ask nicely. And today we have a guy who wants

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Speaker 1: to come clean and using the fake name Keith. So, Keith, welcome,

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Speaker 1: laid down on the table, take your pants off? How

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Speaker 1: you doing?

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Speaker 3: Hey, Hey, what's going on? Everybody? That was too much?

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Speaker 2: That was too much? That's okay, we understand your boundaries now, Keith.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you want to just do a regular confession today,

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Speaker 1: or you want to do a little something extra, just.

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Speaker 3: A regular confession. And that's funny confession to me. So

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Speaker 3: I hope y'all think it's a funny confession as well.

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Speaker 2: Oh awesome, it's awesome. Usually people are really nervous, but

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we can't wait. Voice changes on. You're the mass speaker.

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Speaker 1: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. He's like, I

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Speaker 1: stole someone's identity.

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Speaker 3: I'm not the criminal in this, but somebody else.

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Speaker 2: All right, what do you got, Keith?

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Speaker 1: Bill?

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Speaker 3: I've been married now for about twelve years. Just want

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Speaker 3: you guys know I love my wife to death.

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Speaker 2: Whenever you start like that, there's a button. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: got it.

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Speaker 3: Do tho. It's a funny, beautiful, maizing woman. I'm just

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Speaker 3: pure joy for me.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 3: And we tell each other everything in the marriage. I

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Speaker 3: feel like you should tell each other.

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Speaker 2: Everything agreed, agreed.

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Speaker 3: But there is one thing I would never tell how

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Speaker 3: I would take this to my grave?

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Speaker 2: Real you won't even tell your wife's this.

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Speaker 3: I can't tell her, Man, And it's a secret that

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Speaker 3: I keep about her in my wallet, and I've had

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Speaker 3: it in my wallet for eight years now.

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Speaker 2: What a secret about her?

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Speaker 3: It's her mugshot photo.

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Speaker 2: Wait what wait? You keep your wife's mugshot? How would

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Speaker 2: she not know about her own mugshot photo?

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Speaker 3: Holdo, she know she's not killers, she's not OJ sens

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Speaker 3: and anything. I just want to put that out there.

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Speaker 1: That was definitely where my mind went immediately.

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Speaker 2: I love her so much.

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Speaker 1: She's so sweet.

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Speaker 3: You won't see her on dayline tonight.

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Speaker 2: I promise, Okay, we don't want daylight. What happened?

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Speaker 3: So she had a traffic violation. She didn't appear in court.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, so yeah, So she affeled the pay

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Speaker 3: of court for this traffic violation. She forgot the day,

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Speaker 3: and then one day she finally showed up for it,

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Speaker 3: and she got arrested. And I gotta tell you, I

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Speaker 3: have to be honest with you. This mug shot. She's

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Speaker 3: so beautiful in this mugshot.

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Speaker 2: Wait wait, you think she's hot in the mugshot?

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Speaker 3: Hey, so you got to think a regular mug shot.

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Speaker 3: You're getting arrested. You don't have time to make up

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Speaker 3: or anything. Because she was going to court, she had

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Speaker 3: time to put on makeup. I mean, so fierce. So

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Speaker 3: I printed it and I put it in my wallet.

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Speaker 3: I haven't hit it in my wallet.

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Speaker 2: Yo, okay, just because it like gets you going a

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Speaker 2: little bit like your batty wife in a mugshot looking hot.

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Speaker 3: It's like you've been on Facebook and you see these

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Speaker 3: mugshots are like pretty people. It's one of those type

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Speaker 3: of mugs.

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Speaker 2: If I was hurt, Yeah yeah, wait does she not

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Speaker 2: know you have it in your wallet?

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Speaker 3: Oh she doesn't know. She would be so embarrassed. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: she'll make me throw it away. She would be so embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: We what makes sense, like just knowing, like I've been

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Speaker 1: to jail, no matter what it's for, your wife doesn't

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Speaker 1: want you going around town showing her mugshot photos that

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Speaker 1: everybody that you know, Hey.

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Speaker 3: First, okay, so don't judge me. I do show other

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Speaker 3: people that. She doesn't want people to know that she

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Speaker 3: was arrested. But she's so beautiful in it. I've shown

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Speaker 3: it the bartenders, I've shown it the uber drivers because

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Speaker 3: peopould be like, hey, are you married. I'm like, I'm married.

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Speaker 3: Check this out. And everybody has seen it there even like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, she's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: A terrifying, scary.

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Speaker 2: But here's the thing you're gonna get busted. Somebody's gonna

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Speaker 2: see her and be like, Oh, you're the buckshot hotie.

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Speaker 3: That's the thing. I'm really good at hiding it from

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Speaker 3: her because she doesn't get through my wallet anything like that.

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Speaker 3: Like my daughter, I have a we have a three

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Speaker 3: year old daughter, and one day she grabbed my wallet

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Speaker 3: off the counter and pulled it out and I had

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Speaker 3: to grab it real quick.

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Speaker 1: Was your wife in the room, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: My wife was in the room. My wife was in

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Speaker 3: the room. I took the picture and.

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Speaker 2: Ate it one way to get rid of the evidence.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Wait then then you got it back.

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Speaker 3: No, I printed out another Oh, like you have to

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Speaker 3: recover it out of you know.

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Speaker 2: Okay, good, you didn't put it in there.

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Speaker 1: Put that back in the wall.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay. What do you think your wife would do

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Speaker 2: if she found out you had this picture in your wallet?

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Speaker 3: She would probably tell me to throw it away because

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Speaker 3: she would be embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, if she found it, then she would actually become

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Speaker 1: a murderer when she got an even sexier mud shot

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Speaker 1: photo book the second time.

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Speaker 2: Her she won't show up for that court. Yeah. Classic,

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Speaker 2: that's actually really cute.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're never going to show her. No plans no plans.

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Speaker 3: Are showing it. I'm taking it to the grave, matter

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Speaker 3: of fact, on my when I'm dying my lands words

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Speaker 3: will be like check the wallet.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's hilarious. Text in seven eighty five

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Speaker 1: nine two. If you have a can profession you've been

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Speaker 1: holding on to weekend Hydror Identity Master Voice and make

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Speaker 1: you our next mass speaker. Phone taps coming up right

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Speaker 1: after this

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,