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Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever.

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Speaker 2: Sel when we be up in the club, we be

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Speaker 2: posting it back. When we be in the club, girls

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Speaker 2: always come to the back. There it is there. It

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Speaker 2: is ladies and gentlemen, And welcome to another phenomenal episode

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Speaker 2: of My Mama Told Me.

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Speaker 3: The podcast. It dives deep into the pockets of black

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Speaker 3: conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 2: And we finally work to prove the theories that you

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Speaker 2: the listener have at motherfucking home. It's a motherfucking mini episode,

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Speaker 2: bitch something. Hmm. Can I smell your dick? And more importantly,

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Speaker 2: can I hear read your conspiracy?

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Speaker 3: Give it to them?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this is exciting, and that's David Bori

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Speaker 2: and we are here to deal with the listener emails

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Speaker 2: that that we receive. Hans the other day sent us

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Speaker 2: a notice that someone wrote a scathing review of our podcast. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I believe referred to us as a deeply, deeply anti

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Speaker 2: Semitic and he said he was a fan from one

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Speaker 2: of us on a different podcast and then came to

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Speaker 2: listen here and then immediately regretted it on account of

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Speaker 2: our our anti semitism and gave us one star on

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Speaker 2: He said, I heard one of your hosts on another podcast,

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Speaker 2: so I thought I would give this a listen. My mistake,

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Speaker 2: I was treated to anti semitism, treated, which is pretty nice.

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Speaker 2: We we showed up with treat and anti semitism and

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Speaker 2: insults directed towards the listener. Oh, he didn't care for it.

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Speaker 2: He said, stay classy. That's how you know he's a Yeah,

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Speaker 2: domestic cuts, So yeah, I can say what suck?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's sucking.

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Speaker 2: My dick is often the answer, and I would dare.

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Speaker 2: I would go so far as to say, and I

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Speaker 2: know we're not often supposed to do this, but I

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Speaker 2: would go so far as to say, I I don't

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Speaker 2: recall ever having been intentionally antisemitic on this podcast, and

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Speaker 2: if I have been, I hope that the listeners will

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Speaker 2: hold me accountable.

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Speaker 3: But fuck you.

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Speaker 2: Domesticated Dave. If that is domesticated day, I we hate

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Speaker 2: your guts, but but we're working on ourselves. Domesticated Dave,

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Speaker 2: so maybe that maybe there's more work to be done.

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Speaker 3: Who knows. Maybe I'll be domesticated day one day, But

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Speaker 3: for now, I'm outside.

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Speaker 2: That right now. My man's outside. He's feral, Dave.

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Speaker 3: I'm not one of those hogs returned to the wise.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, one of those those piggies that that finds a

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Speaker 2: new piggy that that what's.

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Speaker 3: Nervous at first. No, I don't understand what you're going.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know when you put them back in

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Speaker 2: the wild. Oh yeah, but they're hesitant. But then they

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Speaker 2: find a way to make a community. You get a

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Speaker 2: scar or two and then something you're running with the pack.

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Speaker 3: Of piggy, a couple of rabbits. Now I'm the king

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Speaker 3: of the herd.

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Speaker 2: There you go. I don't think so. I was just

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Speaker 2: gonna go with it.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate it. Thank you, man, You've been a good

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Speaker 3: partner to me. We got an email.

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Speaker 2: From a person named Asia. Asia sent us to a

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Speaker 2: s I A yep, classic A no no no. I

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Speaker 2: like that traditional Asia, like the continent, like the continent Asia,

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Speaker 2: but with the black ass last name. So I assume

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Speaker 2: not of the continent that's on the nose though. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think if I Asia that that feels like you're

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Speaker 2: tripping a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I get it.

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Speaker 2: She sent us an email that is short, there's not

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Speaker 2: a lot here, but it's it's heavy. It's a heavy one.

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Speaker 2: She said, Hi, Bory and Langston. My mama told me

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Speaker 2: prisons know how many beds to plan for based on

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Speaker 2: students third grade test scores. Now that I work in education,

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Speaker 2: this is something I've heard echoed by other teachers and administrators.

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Speaker 2: Love the pod Asia, Yeah it's dark Asia. You didn't

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Speaker 2: as you didn't try to uplift us at all.

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Speaker 4: As you know that we like a sweet little treat

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Speaker 4: with our conspiracies, and you gave us.

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Speaker 2: You gave us nothing. You ain't go like. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: I work in a school and the kids' day sometimes

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Speaker 2: make me, uh turkeys with their fingers.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, such a musical people.

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Speaker 2: I got a student who he's invented jazz.

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Speaker 4: I will say, seriously, I don't it's not enough information.

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Speaker 3: I don't believe it. You don't believe it.

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Speaker 4: I who's to test third grade test scores? Where what

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Speaker 4: you're talking about like high risk areas, kids move, there's transience.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't seem like super reliable. I just feel like

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Speaker 4: that's not enough information. And prisons a lot of prisons

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Speaker 4: are notoriously overcrowded, so they're not doing a great like I.

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Speaker 4: I understand the conspiracy within this, and I would love

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Speaker 4: to be on board.

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Speaker 3: But if that's too vague, Oh, it's too vague of

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Speaker 3: a that's too vague of a of a of a measurement.

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Speaker 2: I guess I feel differently. I think that I hear

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Speaker 2: this and I don't. I probably think that planning for

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Speaker 2: the number of beds is a little bit of a

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Speaker 2: red herring, right that, Like, it's not actually that they're

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Speaker 2: planning for the number of beds based off of the

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Speaker 2: third grade state test scores. But I do think that

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Speaker 2: they probably are planning for a bunch of things relating

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Speaker 2: to the prison industrial complex as it relates to third

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Speaker 2: grade state test scores.

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Speaker 3: Like as far as building more, because that's the only.

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Speaker 2: I think building more. I think, I think funding, I

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Speaker 2: think introducing policing in that community, or how they manage

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Speaker 2: policing in that community. I think there are a lot

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Speaker 2: of things that feed the complex that are probably managed

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Speaker 2: through things that we are reflected in our test scores.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know that it's it's quote unquote beds,

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Speaker 2: but I do think that they probably are fucking with

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Speaker 2: people pretty intensely based.

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Speaker 3: Off this crop is pretty bad. Yeah, maybe maybe we

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Speaker 3: us out a couple more prisons. I think I think

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Speaker 3: it's safe to say these kids aren't gonna be insurance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, or maybe, And this is how sophisticated I think

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Speaker 2: the prison industrial complex is. Maybe it's just that we uh,

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Speaker 2: we turn this into a food desert. We stop even

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Speaker 2: focusing on because.

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Speaker 3: These kids aren't they don't need the nutrition after we

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Speaker 3: need to give them food for these idiots.

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Speaker 2: These fucking deucity scores.

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Speaker 4: These kids are not a divide.

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Speaker 3: We're not gonna get an AOC out of this thing.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna fucking underfund the ship out of this community.

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Speaker 2: And we know statistically, historically, we know that by removing

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Speaker 2: funds from this community, we are ensuring a certain payoff

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Speaker 2: in sending future prisoners to prison. Like I think that

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Speaker 2: they they at least understand the math well enough to go, well,

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Speaker 2: if we cut our money here, we cut the funding right,

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Speaker 2: can also gain money on the other side via the

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Speaker 2: prison system.

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Speaker 4: And I mean to that it not being as literal

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Speaker 4: as beds, but like you paint a bleak peak bleak do.

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Speaker 3: Some of those vocal exercises.

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Speaker 5: I know they didn't even check in with me. Then

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Speaker 5: do your job the bed, then give me head.

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Speaker 3: I forgot what I was gonna say, now it's bleak.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's a bleak portrait you paint like sin kermit.

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Speaker 3: But I that feels very reasonable. Yeah, a lot more

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Speaker 3: reasonable than the literal to bed ratio.

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Speaker 4: But like, of course, now I kind of think I

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Speaker 4: was done for even taking it at face value like that.

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Speaker 4: But the idea, especially of like selected selective funding targeting

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Speaker 4: and stuff like that, that feels like why wouldn't it. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I would like to think that they do it with

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Speaker 4: poor white people too, like, because it's like if and

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Speaker 4: you work in education, so maybe you can tell me

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Speaker 4: it doesn't feel like there's places where white kids are

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Speaker 4: doing terrible on public testing in the third grade and

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Speaker 4: they're like, Okay, let's funnel a bunch of money over here,

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Speaker 4: yeah and help these kids get up, you know what

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Speaker 4: I mean?

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Speaker 2: No, and I do think that that's true. I think

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Speaker 2: that the system is built to consume poor people, and

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Speaker 2: specifically black people have been put in a position in

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Speaker 2: this country where we are more poor than we are wealthy,

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Speaker 2: right that, Like, through the unfortunate fucking circumstances we've been presented,

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Speaker 2: we are not often put in position to be successful

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Speaker 2: the way that our white counterparts have been But there

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Speaker 2: are a fuck tons of poor white people in this

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Speaker 2: country that are generationally poor. Oh yeah, like have remained

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Speaker 2: poor because their daddy was poor and his daddy was poor,

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Speaker 2: and his daddy was poor, and they their children will

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Speaker 2: be poor. And I think that that is also an

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Speaker 2: intentional effort on the part of like a capitalistic system,

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Speaker 2: right that, Like, it's not as if these motherfuckers are

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Speaker 2: like we've got to say poor whitey.

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Speaker 3: No, they don't even like them.

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Speaker 2: I think they hate poor white people.

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Speaker 4: I think I got all this white skin and I'm

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Speaker 4: still poor and not over here a racket.

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Speaker 3: They're playing basketball. My daddy was poor and they don't windmills.

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Speaker 2: My daddy died on a fucking line.

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Speaker 3: What's his name?

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Speaker 2: What the fuck is a Draymond Green?

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Speaker 3: Poor white guy, I'd be pretty pisched off too. Come on, man,

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Speaker 3: swag surf is swag.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's we're calling upon you because we have we

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Speaker 2: have new merch. We have very exciting merch that we

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Speaker 2: are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love

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Speaker 2: it so much.

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Speaker 3: Just sleek, it's sexy.

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Speaker 2: Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is

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Speaker 3: really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien

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Speaker 3: dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then

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Speaker 3: we have the enamel pin with an alien who has

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Speaker 3: a coofie on it since my mama told me. And

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Speaker 3: then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,

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Speaker 3: which is who you are.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you can buy the merch. Now, we'll go to

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Speaker 2: Mamma told me dot Merchcentral dot com where you can

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Speaker 2: see all of our merch. You can buy ship and

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Speaker 2: we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so

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Speaker 2: get it. I think poor white people are maybe more,

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Speaker 2: not more, but certainly equally a sort of like a

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Speaker 2: product of the same level of intentional manipulation of the system.

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Speaker 2: But certainly the prison industrial complex has focused its energy

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Speaker 2: in large, fucking high populist communities, which is where black

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Speaker 2: people are poor most often. Right that it's big cities

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Speaker 2: where they can get the most people to feed the

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Speaker 2: prison systems, which is where black people are most often poor. Subsequently,

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Speaker 2: we're the ones in jail all the time, whereas like

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Speaker 2: poor white people that are just like, yeah, let them

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Speaker 2: starve in the fucking woods. Who cares?

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Speaker 3: Yeah's think we did it? Yeah, I don't. Asia. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 6: You know this is a comedy podcast, right, I'm sorry

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Speaker 6: that uh that that you gave us this really sad

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Speaker 6: conversation to have, but I hope you feel satisfying.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Also, Asia, you know we're never in the room together.

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Speaker 3: You couldn't have given us a softball.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, come on, man, I think no, it's

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Speaker 2: got six toes.

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Speaker 3: That would have been fun. Yeah, Kesher is secretly Melatto.

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Speaker 3: Other Wise you put that money's on it. Yeah you

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Speaker 3: think that was.

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Speaker 2: Like I know people.

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Speaker 3: Jerry Steinfeld don't like her. That all makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Jerome Seinfeld. Yeah, I think I think this covers it.

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Speaker 3: Asia.

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Speaker 2: I hope. I hope number one, that this answers your

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Speaker 2: question or at least feels satiating to you. And more importantly,

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Speaker 2: I hope you're doing something about this, Asia, because we

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Speaker 2: are not. We have we have no plans of affecting

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Speaker 2: the future youth of America in any positive way. We're

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Speaker 2: contributing nothing, and we're taking a lot, i'd.

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Speaker 3: Say, real top heavy.

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Speaker 2: So so do something, Asia, What the fuck?

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Speaker 3: For the love of god, Asia, my god, you're some

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Speaker 3: of your friends, the other Asias.

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Speaker 2: The Asia. I'm just struggling to think of Asians besides

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Speaker 2: the continent.

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Speaker 3: Fantasia feels like a cousin. Good place to start it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all, y'all related, And don't write her a letters

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Speaker 2: she can't read it.

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Speaker 3: I've been cool guy jokes.

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Speaker 2: I'm like Stinkerman and you can. You can follow David

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Speaker 2: at Cool Jake Cool Guy Jokes eighty seven. You want

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Speaker 2: to tell them many something else?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I watch Royal Crackers on Adult Swim and

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Speaker 4: Max just Max no HBO.

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Speaker 2: And as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman

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Speaker 2: and you can, if if I'm remembering correctly, you can

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Speaker 2: come to my special taping February nineteenth at the Green

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Speaker 2: Mill in Chicago.

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Speaker 3: Travel buy a ticket, get on that plan. I was

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Speaker 3: actually gonna come. Uh it's day Oh yeah, yeah that's okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: yeah got it. I'll just surprised you. So I guess

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Speaker 3: that's really nice. Yeah, I'm a very good people don't

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Speaker 3: realize he's the bad guy. I'm the good guy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're you're a much sweeter person than I am.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna I was gonna fly out just so

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Speaker 2: you couldn't be there. No, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: What I don't know what you meant. Yeah, this is

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Speaker 3: a very close fight. It's like an hour right.

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Speaker 2: Sure, no, Yeah, come to the special typing. It'll be

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Speaker 2: at the email. I'm very excited about it. It's gonna

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Speaker 2: be some cool shit and it's always If you want

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Speaker 2: to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories,

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Speaker 2: if you want to make us equally sad as what

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Speaker 2: Asia has done today, you can send it all to

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Speaker 2: Mymama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to

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Speaker 2: hear from you. That's the whole.

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Speaker 3: Shabang.

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Speaker 2: Bye bitch gee whizz gee, Willikers Batman.

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Speaker 3: Is that that drip?

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Speaker 1: Motherfucking Mini yoursel mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever Self, motherfucking

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Speaker 1: Mini ever Self Mini episode, motherfucking Mini eversol