1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren z Ema coming to you today 3 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: to talk about something we have been talking a lot 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: about lately. 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 2: We have been diving deep and it has been emotional, 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,279 Speaker 2: it has been. 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 3: Sometimes fraught with peril. 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 2: We've been talking a lot with our own moms lately 9 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 2: about their love lives. My mom is in a relationship, 10 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 2: Chris's mom is single, my mom is a widow, Chris's 11 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 2: mom is divorced. And we've been talking about love later 12 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 2: in life, and we might have to have our moms 13 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 2: on at some point because I think they would tell you, 14 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 2: oh God, what did I do before I had you 15 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 2: to tell me how to live my life? And they 16 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 2: would say we might be weighing in too much. 17 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: We are, for sure, we are. And when I say we, 18 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: but oh, you mean you think me? I think I 19 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,639 Speaker 1: think you think you definitely love it more than I do. 20 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 2: I don't know if I love it more, but I 21 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 2: think I meddle more. I think I'm a fixer. Maybe 22 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 2: women are fixers, and I want the moms to be happy, 23 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 2: but I mean you're a little more step aside. 24 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: Well, in all seriousness, though, this is something that it's 25 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: not just my mom's. There's there's someone else in my 26 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 1: life that I love dearly. And I find it interesting 27 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 1: when they say, look, i'm done. You know, I don't. 28 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: I don't want anybody in my house. I don't want 29 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: anybody in my life. I like the way, you know, 30 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 1: things the way they are, and I want to sleep 31 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 1: on my own bed and all this. There's a lot 32 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: of issues that change as we get older, and I'm 33 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: saying much older. I'm a fifty ten year old man, 34 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 1: so we're going much older than that, and so I 35 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: find it interesting to dive into these topics. And you know, 36 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: we can debate this stuff all day long, but we 37 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: wanted to bring on some experts to talk about this. 38 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 2: Yes, we've you know, we've gone through in our heads 39 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 2: like is saying I'm just ready to be alone? 40 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 3: Is that real? 41 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 2: Or is it just a defense mechanism. We've asked what is? 42 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 2: You know, like, what is how can we really advise 43 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 2: on dating to our moms even when we've never dated 44 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 2: at that age and they have told us you don't 45 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 2: understand what it's like. So we wanted to bring on 46 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 2: some experts who do understand what it's like. We are 47 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 2: joined today by the incredible doctor Gloria Horseley. She is 48 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 2: a licensed marriage and family therapist, and doctor Frank Powers. 49 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 3: He has a PhD. 50 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 2: He is a licensed psychologist with a private practice. So 51 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:32,240 Speaker 2: both incredibly accomplished individuals on their own, but they are 52 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 2: now in a relationship. And doctor Gloria is a widow 53 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 2: herself after sixty years of marriage. She lost her husband 54 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 2: and doctor Frank is divorced. So the two of them 55 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 2: found each other later in life are now partners. They 56 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:50,119 Speaker 2: work together, they love each other, and they are going 57 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 2: to join us to talk about how to find love 58 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 2: later in life, in part because they are releasing on 59 00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 2: Valentine's Day their new book, Open to Love, the Grits 60 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,959 Speaker 2: of Senior Dating, were they detail how they both found 61 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 2: this happy relationship. 62 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: So Mom, get out the notebook, get out the number 63 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 1: two pencil, Get ready to take some notes because we 64 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: are diving in. 65 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 4: Hey. 66 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 5: Hey, we've got our People magazine here. 67 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 2: Well, it's so nice to meet you too. Oh my gosh, 68 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 2: we are so excited for this. 69 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: Now. 70 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 2: We already recorded a little intro hyping you up a 71 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 2: minute ago, so if it's okay, we'll. 72 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 3: Dive right in. 73 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: You guys are so sweet. Thank you very much. Yes, 74 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: we obviously just got married. It was beautiful. But what 75 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: we're talking about today is after that later, later in 76 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: life is their love later. And you guys are living 77 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: proof first of all that that there is. So before 78 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: we talk about we have so many questions for you, 79 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: talk about yourselves and how you both found love. 80 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 3: What is story? 81 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 5: I think I'll start with it because. 82 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 4: So three years ago, my husband of sixty years died 83 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 4: of staff infection after a surgery. And I'm a psychologist 84 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 4: and I've been practicing for forty years, and I had 85 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 4: all sorts of advice for myself, but anyway. 86 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,160 Speaker 6: I am following it. 87 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 5: I got into a grief group. 88 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: Of course. 89 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 4: There I met a guy, Steve, whose wife had died 90 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 4: two days after Phil. And he's an avid golfer and 91 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 4: I am an avid golfer. And we just went golfing 92 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 4: every day with this guy that all mad golfing through grief. Well, 93 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:41,239 Speaker 4: after a book months we started living together and Steve 94 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 4: and I and then we had Christmas come and I 95 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 4: had twenty seven family members all go to Hawaii together with. 96 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 5: Steve and I. 97 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 6: He ghost. 98 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 4: And I stayed a little longer, and he sent me 99 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 4: an email saying, you know, I can't handle this. I'm 100 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 4: leaving the key to the house. We had to joint 101 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 4: bank and the money's on the calendra. I'm leaving the 102 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 4: key to the house. 103 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 3: Then my jaw is on the floor. 104 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 5: Steve, oh dish me. 105 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,279 Speaker 4: So I'm in Pellow, I mean in Hawaii, in a 106 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 4: hotel room, and I get COVID. So I've had out. 107 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 4: I had COVID, So I thought, well, what am I 108 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 4: going to do? I think I'll write a book for 109 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 4: widows because I've learned so much from this crazy relationship 110 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 4: and all the stuff that widows go through. 111 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 5: Then I'm going to write a book on widows. 112 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 4: Well, it turns out that Steve had told me that 113 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 4: he had done some online dating and had met some 114 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 4: other women online, although he made me in a grief group. 115 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 4: So I thought, I got to go online. If I'm 116 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 4: going to write a book for widows. I don't know, 117 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 4: and I've never been online, never thought about it, never, 118 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 4: But I've got to do it. So I'm in the 119 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,359 Speaker 4: room and I type away and I sign up for 120 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 4: Silver Singles, the one that came up for people who 121 00:05:54,240 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 4: are over fifty, which I'm way over a few years. 122 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,599 Speaker 4: So anyway, I met a couple of people. One of 123 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 4: them was Frank and. 124 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 6: The other one was named Dave, and he was a 125 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 6: shriner and had Dave on this when he met her 126 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 6: for a topic. After that, I looked pretty good. 127 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 3: A prince, a prince to go. 128 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, so I went online and Frank and I texted 129 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 4: a little bit. But we suggest you don't spend a 130 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 4: lot of time with people before you meet them, you know, online, 131 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 4: unless you liked it. 132 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 6: We both had website, so we knew that we were 133 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 6: a little bit legitimate. 134 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 2: So yeah, he's I agree with you take it offline 135 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 2: as soon as you came. 136 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 4: He's a sculptor as well as a psychologist. So anyway, 137 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 4: we met, went to the Grassroots restaurant and I was 138 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 4: staying with my sister for a year. 139 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 6: I don't know if you guys have had any experience 140 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,279 Speaker 6: with online dating, but a lot of time is the 141 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 6: people's profile and a way in which they talk on 142 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 6: the phone is quite different when you meet them in person. Wow, 143 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 6: this is on one of my first experiences where she 144 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 6: looked better than her from Oh my god, I've got 145 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 6: to do something and then she tells me that the 146 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 6: only reason she's there is because she's writing a book. 147 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 4: He's not really, I'm not really joining by the way. 148 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 3: You were being used, Frank. 149 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 6: I was prestfallen for about ten minutes, and I realized, Hey, 150 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 6: we're having too much fun this. You know, this might 151 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 6: be more than just research. 152 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 2: I love it so how quickly after that first date 153 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 2: was this, Oh. 154 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 4: My gosh, to get married after two weeks and my 155 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 4: daughter's she. 156 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 6: Was having surgery, shoulder surgery two days after I met her. 157 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 6: So I really, in a sense weaseled my way in 158 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 6: by being a big hairtaker for her while she had 159 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 6: her surge, taking these places, I know, entertaining her all 160 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 6: about Arizona because she didn't know much about Arizona. 161 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 3: And Frank, were you are you? 162 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 6: Were you divorced for about a year and a half, 163 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 6: and I was kind of dis. 164 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 7: Yeah, and I thought, oh, well, I had some luck 165 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 7: meeting people, good people on sober singles in the past, 166 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 7: so I'll go back on one last try. 167 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 6: Thank god it worked out perfectly. 168 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:35,680 Speaker 3: Thank God. 169 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: I'm interested. You know, you both have two very different 170 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: yet similar experiences. What differences have you found in your 171 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:48,559 Speaker 1: research from those that are widowers as opposed to just divorced. 172 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 6: There is some differences. That's very soon on your part. 173 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 6: There there are several differences because divorce has one connotation 174 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 6: within society and divorce has another. 175 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 4: You know, it's a lot smoother for widows and it 176 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 4: is for divorces because everybody feels. 177 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 5: Sorry for you. They'll invite you out, you know. 178 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 4: I know eventually the widows say that the couples don't 179 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 4: want to invite him anymore because unfortunately. 180 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 6: Dirses have a failure kind of attached to them. 181 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 1: Well, that's what's funny is we just assumed that the 182 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 1: widower had this great love affair, and if it wasn't 183 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: it wonderful perfect. 184 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,959 Speaker 4: I was married for sixty years to the most perfect 185 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 4: person exactly. Although I will tell you my husband, before 186 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 4: he died, give me he said to me, you know, Gloria, 187 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 4: you're going to be with someone else, because we knew 188 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 4: he was in big trouble. And I said, no, no, no, 189 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,560 Speaker 4: He said, I am telling you you are going to 190 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 4: be Phil was a special guy. 191 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 2: He was. 192 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 5: You know, I never thought i'd find two loves of 193 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 5: my life. 194 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 2: I have good answer, good answer that you know, Gloria, 195 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 2: can I go back to the ghoster for a second, Steve, 196 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 2: Because my mom is a widow and she also joined 197 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 2: a grief group and she didn't do it, but she said, 198 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 2: I was so surprised by how many people in the 199 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 2: grief group started dating each other. 200 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 3: So do you think that, like. 201 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 2: Like, I mean, I'm not okay with Steve ghosting you 202 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 2: the way he did, But do you do you think 203 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,719 Speaker 2: maybe like do you have a thought in your head, 204 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 2: especially being a psychologist, of maybe he thought maybe I 205 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 2: rushed into this too quickly? Or what is your recommendation 206 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,400 Speaker 2: from your professional perspective on people meeting in that way 207 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 2: and what kind of stay? 208 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 4: Can I tell you I broke all my own rules. 209 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 4: I lived there those for forty years. My advice is 210 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 4: number one, don't do anything for the first year. Well, 211 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 4: I owned a house in Carmela, California, and I sold 212 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 4: it within months. And yeah, after Phil passed away, and 213 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 4: I would have always said don't date. But I will 214 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 4: tell you meeting somebody in a grief group and grieving 215 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 4: together was very supportive for me. In fact, I don't 216 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 4: think I would have been with Frank had that not happened, 217 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 4: because I was, you know, already realized what it was 218 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 4: like to be in a relationship and a widow. 219 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 6: I'm very grateful to see because I really think he 220 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 6: helped set up the situation because I probably would have 221 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 6: been very leary knowing that she had only been grieving 222 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 6: for a short period of time. 223 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,679 Speaker 3: Right, You're thinking, is she in the right place for 224 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 3: a relationship? 225 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 6: The energy is all eaten up by the process of 226 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 6: adjustment to the loss, and it's awful. It is awful. 227 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 4: I had a special circumstance. Also, you know, I started 228 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 4: a foundation called Open to Hope for helping people find 229 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:45,679 Speaker 4: hope after loss, which is related to the death of 230 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 4: my son when he was seventeen in an automobile absent. 231 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 4: So I actually had had a really profound loss, and 232 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 4: I think that makes the difference. You know, what has 233 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 4: happened in your background. I think that's part of the 234 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 4: reason that people are so different in the grieving process, 235 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 4: because we have so many different learned experiences and lived experiences. 236 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 4: So I think it made a difference. Because Steve actually 237 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 4: told me Frank and I have run into him at 238 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 4: the Senior Center. In fact, we've had dinner with him, 239 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 4: and he I'm very grateful to him, Frank. 240 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 3: And yeah, stepping Stone, Steve, thank you. 241 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:24,439 Speaker 2: Well. 242 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 4: He came to a presentation with us and afterward and 243 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 4: we did a Senior Center presentation that's where we saw him, 244 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 4: and afterward he said, you know, you got to give 245 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 4: me credit for this book. 246 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 5: So you know, it just depends. But my wonderful Sage 247 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 5: advice was. 248 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 4: Don't do anything for the first year, don't make any 249 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 4: big moves, you know, probably don't want to. 250 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:49,959 Speaker 5: Date and all that. 251 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 6: And and I actually worked for you. 252 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, and so are you glad you broke all your 253 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 3: own rules? And do you still give that advice or 254 00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 3: has it changed? 255 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 5: Oh my god, I just. 256 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:08,199 Speaker 4: I'm it has worked out so well for me breaking 257 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 4: all the rules of me. 258 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 2: But do you still do you still give that advice 259 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 2: like don't do anything for the first year, or has 260 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 2: that changed now because you've got a new book of 261 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,319 Speaker 2: advice coming out. 262 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 4: I would say you need to think about it. I mean, 263 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 4: you need to just think about it. 264 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 6: It's very individual. 265 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,679 Speaker 4: Yeah, you need to weigh back and forth. I mean, 266 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 4: you just don't know what people have been through. And 267 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 4: also we've got a special factor is the fact that 268 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 4: I'm eighty four in francs eighty and so we have 269 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 4: not a lot of years left. 270 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: Time is of the essence. 271 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you were just saying, you know, I 272 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 2: thought you were about to say, because so I'm doing 273 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 2: a younger guy. 274 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:45,320 Speaker 3: So you know I. 275 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,319 Speaker 6: Have a cougar. 276 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: In your research. I'm curious what you found and what 277 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: you have both found. As people get older, we add 278 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: excuses to not find love again, to not get back 279 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 1: out there, of like I'm happy, I don't need this, 280 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: i don't want. 281 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 3: To deal with somebody else. I've got my life. 282 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 1: I don't want someone to my stuff. Let's start breaking 283 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 1: down some of these barriers of why we should get 284 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: back in the game and find love and find campaigns. 285 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 4: You know, for women, I hear so many widowed women 286 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 4: make this statement. There's a little thing called I don't 287 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 4: want to be a nurse or a purse, big concern. 288 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: I know someone who says that exact line, Chris is mom. 289 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 3: I'm going to call her out. 290 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: We can even just say it's my mom. 291 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, she is not a widower, but she says that 292 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 2: statement all the time. 293 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 3: I can't believe you just said that. She says it 294 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 3: all the time. 295 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: Okay, let's break that. Let's break that down. 296 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,160 Speaker 5: Okay, Well, here's the deal. 297 00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 4: There are male and female nurses, and society wants women 298 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 4: to take over those roles. And you know, for sixty years, 299 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 4: my husband had had like seven back surgeries, so I 300 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 4: was in that role. So Frank and I have been 301 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 4: really clear with him that I do not. 302 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 6: Want to be We do not want caretaker syndrome. And 303 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 6: that's a very serious problem for seniors, particularly falling into 304 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 6: that role. Because my aunt, who absolutely adored with my 305 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 6: second mother, took care of my uncle and she was 306 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 6: a lovely lady, but caretaker syndrome made her into a shrew. 307 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 6: She was awful. I couldn't be around them, and here 308 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 6: was a trained therapist, and I could not help the 309 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 6: two of them because caretaker syndrome is really. 310 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 3: I think you're shedding. 311 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 2: You're already answering a question that we wanted to ask you, guys, 312 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 2: So I'm glad you are, which is like we were 313 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 2: just talking about how before you get into a relationship. 314 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 2: You know, we counsel our college kids on this. You 315 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 2: talk about do we want to have kids? Where do 316 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 2: you kind of see yourself living? What do you and 317 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 2: what you guys are getting into it sounds like is 318 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 2: at an older age? 319 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 3: What are those deal breakers? 320 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 2: What are those conversations you have before you enter a relationship. 321 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 4: Absolutely, I'll tell you what happened with Frank and I 322 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 4: Frank needs knee surgery. Okay, He's going to have a 323 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 4: total needs replacement, and so we have decided that he 324 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 4: will not I will not take care of him. He 325 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 4: will hire nurses to take care of him, and so 326 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 4: we but the healthcare system does not want that to happen. 327 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 6: And they're like, she got really criticized because she was 328 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 6: not going to take care of me. And I was 329 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,160 Speaker 6: sitting there listening to this doctor goes through this thing 330 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 6: about God. 331 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 5: He'll do much better at home. 332 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 6: We've got research that I care too much about the relationship. 333 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 6: I don't want to put it in jeopardy. 334 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 4: So so I decide I get a hold of my girlfriend. 335 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 4: Frank's gonna have knee surgery right over Christmas. Okay, So 336 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 4: I get a hold of my girlfriend and we buy 337 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:05,920 Speaker 4: tickets to Hawaii. 338 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,440 Speaker 5: So and Frank. 339 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:12,720 Speaker 4: Tells the guy at the hospital like, well, isn't your 340 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,360 Speaker 4: fiance going to take care of you? 341 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 5: And Frank says, her mother died. 342 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 6: I had to figure something really quick. 343 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 5: Great, my mother is one hundred and twelve. 344 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 1: Yeah she's doing great. 345 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 3: Wow. 346 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 2: Critical tell critical lies, okay, good advice, tell strategic lies. 347 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 4: So my girlfriend and I go to Hawaii. Five o'clock 348 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 4: in the morning. I get a telephone call. I wake up. 349 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,400 Speaker 4: It's Frank. He says, you're not going to believe this. 350 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 4: They took me in the gjourney to the to do this. 351 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,960 Speaker 6: So I had an IVY in. I was ten feet 352 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 6: from the surgery room. 353 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 4: Anisthesiologist says, Oh no, we can't do it today. 354 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 6: Sorry, you too high. 355 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 3: Oh no, she's in Hawaii. 356 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: So I hope you bought a ticket Christmas. 357 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 5: Christmas in Hawaii. I did come back and move it. 358 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,880 Speaker 4: But he's going to have it in April in Arizona, 359 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,880 Speaker 4: which is hot. I'm going to go to California, I said, 360 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 4: But this time, Frank, I'm going to drive to California 361 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 4: because I want to take you to the to. 362 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 6: The Oh yeah, she wants to make sure I. 363 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 4: Did roll you into the operating room and I will 364 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 4: roll off to the parking lot. 365 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 6: To day theologist anymore. 366 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 1: I feel like I just saw this is like took 367 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: me back to the friend's episode, it's like, you know, 368 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 1: when she wanted to make sure Chandler was off to Yemen. 369 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: I want to see you get on the plane and 370 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: go to Yemen. 371 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 2: So one of those it sounds like one thing you 372 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 2: push people past is this concern of the nurse or 373 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,919 Speaker 2: the purse and that you found real world ways of 374 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 2: being like, look, we're gonna get a different We're going 375 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 2: to do a different thing. What are some of the 376 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 2: other barriers you see with people finding love? 377 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 4: Let me say one thing about the purse first, because 378 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,479 Speaker 4: this is the money thing is big. 379 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:11,960 Speaker 5: It is big. 380 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 4: It's big for your kids, it's big for the world. 381 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 4: Nobody is going to date somebody who has exactly the 382 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 4: same amount of money in their bank account. 383 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 6: And it's usually not romantic to talk about money when 384 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,400 Speaker 6: you're dating and stuff like that. But if you want 385 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,879 Speaker 6: the relationships your last, you have to deal with the 386 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 6: issue if there's a difference in the amount of money 387 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 6: that we have, and that in most cases there is 388 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 6: going to be a little bit of a difference, and 389 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,439 Speaker 6: how do you want to deal with that? You how 390 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 6: And that's one of the issues that comes up again 391 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,879 Speaker 6: is for people our age is do you get married, 392 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 6: or you do not, you know, because what is the 393 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,919 Speaker 6: issue around marriage? You're not going to have children, And really, 394 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 6: in a sense it does help out and make sure 395 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 6: that the only people who benefit sometimes in the process, 396 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 6: especially around divorce, is the lawyers. So if you really 397 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 6: want to eliminate money as an issue, and you know 398 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 6: that you're together for the right reasons, you either have 399 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 6: to get a prenup, which is not all that safe, 400 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 6: or you don't get married and therefore it's not an issue. 401 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,640 Speaker 6: So there are options now, and I do think it's 402 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 6: a real issue for people who get together when they're 403 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,439 Speaker 6: older about whether you do get married or not. She 404 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 6: is my fiancee and she may be for the rest 405 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:41,679 Speaker 6: of my life. 406 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 4: However, however, that being said, because of my cultural background, 407 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 4: which is very conservative, I thought we should get married. Yeah, like, 408 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 4: and so we do have a prenup and a marriage license. 409 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 3: The case, well, I know, inefficient you need to do. 410 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, I can be out there. I'd say we 411 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 1: go back to Hawaii. By the way, so you mentioned 412 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: the nurse perse thing and we have kind of done 413 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 1: away with that. What are some other big hurdles that 414 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 1: you see that keep people from getting back into finding. 415 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 4: Alone in the process. One of the things we recommend 416 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,439 Speaker 4: is a dating buddy. 417 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 1: Yes, oh, interesting, Okay. 418 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 6: You really shouldn't enter the dating process without some kind 419 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 6: of support. And we in our book talk about the 420 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 6: issue of making sure that if you're going to be dating, 421 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,879 Speaker 6: that you get a dating buddy. And the interesting thing 422 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 6: is your children are usually not the best ones. 423 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 5: Now grandchildren, grandchildren can be fun. 424 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 6: And friends who have done online or are tried other 425 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,120 Speaker 6: dating processes so that they can really be supported. 426 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, young people are great, yes, yes. 427 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 6: With the online process because a lot of times you 428 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 6: have these apps, these dating apps. 429 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, so is that it is? 430 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,199 Speaker 2: I was wire our grandchildren better than children? Is it 431 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 2: a technology? 432 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 1: Well? 433 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 4: That and they're willing to laugh with you and look 434 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 4: through the pictures. My granddaughter said to me after Phil died, 435 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 4: there was a friend of mine who's an archaeologist took 436 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 4: us around Utah and she could see that we were 437 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 4: really friendly, friendly, and she's like, Grandma, are you sure 438 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,879 Speaker 4: you don't want to play the field, And I said, Eliza, 439 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:32,880 Speaker 4: at my age, there is no fields. 440 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: It's a path. I'm on the path. 441 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 5: Online dating. 442 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,479 Speaker 4: It's fifty to fifty men and women where as the world. 443 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 5: Eighty percent of women much better Mormon more men Blideline. 444 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:49,399 Speaker 6: Yes. 445 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: So the interesting thing is I've had this discussion again 446 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,719 Speaker 1: with my mom. Sorry to keep going back to her, 447 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 1: but about being online, and it is I don't care 448 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,679 Speaker 1: what age you are A it's in tim dating it 449 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 1: can be you know, it's like a job interview, over 450 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: and over and over. There is there any advice to 451 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: getting online of how you can make it easier, how 452 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: you can make it fun, because that's the end of 453 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 1: the day. It's like, you want this to be exciting 454 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: and fun. 455 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 4: Exactly, that's what you're great, I said dating Boddy, because 456 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 4: you need someone to laugh with and someone think, somebody 457 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 4: that you can call at ten o'clock at night. 458 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 6: Exactly, Oh did you see this guy I went out 459 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:29,480 Speaker 6: and had coffee with? 460 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: Oh? 461 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 6: What? 462 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 2: In Kirk, I've always said anytime I've encouraged someone to 463 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 2: be dating, I'm like, what difference does it make if 464 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,119 Speaker 2: you get rejected? You probably never have to see this 465 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,240 Speaker 2: person again, and you got a great story out of it, 466 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 2: Like it's more for the memoir. But I do think 467 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 2: the rejection part can be tough, you know. It's so, 468 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 2: how do you have any advice on that or what 469 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 2: your experiences were like with rejection online. 470 00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:58,120 Speaker 6: All the experiences where you meet someone for coffee and 471 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 6: you find that there's some inner and you really want 472 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,159 Speaker 6: to see that for a second date, and you have 473 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 6: a third, fourth date, maybe even date for a month 474 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 6: or longer, and all of a sudden there's some issue 475 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 6: that comes up and you know that this isn't going 476 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 6: to be the person. Okay. We call those almost experiences. 477 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 6: They're almost what you want, okay, And you're learning all 478 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 6: the time time, So almost experiences help you become a 479 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 6: professional and more astute, a good consumer of online services. 480 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 6: So this is part of the learning process. And if 481 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 6: you see it as an almost experience and say now 482 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,479 Speaker 6: I have a clearer idea of what I want and 483 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 6: also what I don't want, which is just as important. 484 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 4: Keep your profile tied, I mean, tell people what you want. 485 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 4: If this isn't like when you're young and you're saying, 486 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:52,239 Speaker 4: oh I can do this and I can do that, 487 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 4: and I'm cute and I'm open to everything. 488 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,399 Speaker 5: You're not open to everything anymore. Now, what is it 489 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 5: you like? 490 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 4: If you want somebody who's financial respon, well, I take 491 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 4: care of myself. I expect you to take care of yourself. 492 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 4: I like the golf and you better know how to golf. 493 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 6: Yeah, what what medications are you on? And I want 494 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 6: to know what your medical history is? We have the 495 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,359 Speaker 6: all times of our gene. 496 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 4: And you know, I want somebody that's drink. I mean 497 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 4: you can have you can see what. 498 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 1: You want well and being honest about I would think 499 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: about I'm looking for something serious. I'm curious where intimacy 500 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: comes into this. Is it is? 501 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:28,639 Speaker 6: That? 502 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 1: Is that also like, hey, I'm I'm still willing and 503 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 1: able to have. 504 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:36,479 Speaker 2: Such I'm sure please educate us because we don't know 505 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 2: and we don't do a whole chapter. 506 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 4: We have a chapter called Through the Bedroom Door. But 507 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,159 Speaker 4: the reality is, and that's that was one of my 508 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 4: biggest revelations is that sex ain't what it used to be. 509 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 6: That's right. It's really different and if you're not mature 510 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,119 Speaker 6: about it, you're going to have a hard time finding 511 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,280 Speaker 6: someone that you're going to be able to connect up with. 512 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, well I think that would be. And the reason 513 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: I asked in all seriousness, I know we joke about 514 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,120 Speaker 1: sex and it gets kind of oh, I'm uncomfortable, But 515 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,120 Speaker 1: the reason I'm asking you. I've talked to too many 516 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: people and I'm taking them off the off the hook. 517 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,400 Speaker 1: I've talked to others as well that are just like, honestly, 518 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,119 Speaker 1: I haven't had sex in twenty years and I just 519 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,959 Speaker 1: don't care. I don't care anymore. So I'm sure you 520 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 1: get those people at a certain age that either A 521 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,720 Speaker 1: don't want it, be no, don't even know if they 522 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: want it anymore, And it's a it's got to be 523 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,360 Speaker 1: a delicate subject to talk. 524 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 4: Thing is sex is not just the intercourse. Yeah, that's 525 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 4: the point. 526 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 6: You know, that's a big piece because touch, human touch 527 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 6: is really kind of important, and being able to the 528 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:43,400 Speaker 6: title and connect in bed and have pillow talk and 529 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:48,199 Speaker 6: all of those kind of things is really hard or sex, 530 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,399 Speaker 6: and we need to see it that way, that this 531 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 6: is a sexual intimate connection and that you want that connection. 532 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,800 Speaker 6: And if you want that connection, it's going to probably 533 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,280 Speaker 6: add seven years of life for you, because people who 534 00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 6: are married, even when the relationship isn't perfect, tend to 535 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 6: live seven years longer than signals. So if you want 536 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 6: to extra life. 537 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 4: There's something called golmonic skin response, and that is why 538 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 4: if you even hold yourself like a baby and. 539 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,840 Speaker 5: Rock brain chemistry. 540 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:31,120 Speaker 4: You know, you wrub your hands together, you hold somebody 541 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 4: else's hand, I mean it changes your brain chemistry. 542 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 6: Yes. 543 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,600 Speaker 2: I read the other day this study kind of went 544 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:55,440 Speaker 2: everywhere that we need eight hugs a day on average, 545 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 2: people need eight hugs a day just to maintain kind. 546 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 3: Of a healthy way of life. 547 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,800 Speaker 2: And it was like twelve hugs a day from emotional 548 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 2: growth or something. But I think about that with you 549 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 2: know people who and everybody has somebody in their family 550 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,359 Speaker 2: who's older and alone. They're not getting that physical touch. 551 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 6: Is mental health issue? Is loneliness for the ages? 552 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,160 Speaker 4: Yes, But you know it's interesting, I said to Frank. 553 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,400 Speaker 4: We read all these loneliness studies and they're zillion of them, 554 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:26,040 Speaker 4: but I don't hear them saying anything about dating or. 555 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,440 Speaker 5: Finding another relationship. 556 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,479 Speaker 4: They're always, you know, do this group, or you know, 557 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 4: do this whatever. You know, when you sign up for 558 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 4: online dating and you give that money, there's a little 559 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 4: gland in your brain called the amygdala, and the amigdala says, hey, 560 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 4: we're dating. You go in a room, you look around differently, 561 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 4: and you dress differently. 562 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 3: It's exciting and I like that. 563 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: The the other excuse I know is Look, I'm in 564 00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: my seventies. You know, we talk about people, you know, 565 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,719 Speaker 1: I know this app you guys are talking about as 566 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: people fifty and above. Well, I mean I think we 567 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: go much older than that now, and people that are 568 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: in their seventies like, oh, you know what, it's it's 569 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,719 Speaker 1: easy to feel like that ship is sailed. And I 570 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 1: love that. You guys are clearly in your eighties. It's like, yeah, 571 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 1: that ship is not sailed. 572 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 3: I love that. 573 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 2: By the way, can you tell us you mentioned Silver Single? 574 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 2: Would you recommend that is? Were there dating apps or 575 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 2: sites that you liked or didn't like? And what also 576 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 2: blows my mind? And I'll be honest now, I have 577 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:33,920 Speaker 2: been trying to get Chris's mom to set up a 578 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 2: dating profile. But what kind of blew my mind is 579 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 2: like every site says fifty and above and I'm sitting 580 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 2: there thinking that is such a wide age. 581 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:44,480 Speaker 3: Range, isn't it. 582 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 2: Do you guys have thoughts on how dating online could 583 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 2: be better or sites that you liked more than others? 584 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 5: I just went on a Silver Singles. 585 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 4: I was lucky to hit one that you know, was 586 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 4: easy for me, that I was able to do and 587 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 4: I met Frank, so that you've been on more sides 588 00:29:58,840 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 4: than I have. 589 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:00,520 Speaker 5: Frank I left. 590 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:05,480 Speaker 6: There are several that are fairly good for seniors, and 591 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 6: we have that in our book, and you know, Zeus 592 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 6: is also when it's fairly good, plenty of fish stuff 593 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 6: like that. The thing is that everybody needs to get 594 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 6: onto an internet thing do the process because people are 595 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 6: our age are not used to doing that dating online, 596 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 6: so it's a new process. And that's the reason why 597 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 6: your grandkids or are someone who's been on an online 598 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 6: thing to be or dating buddy is really helpful because 599 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 6: they can help you navigate the system, understand how to 600 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 6: do it, and have fun with it. The biggest thing 601 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 6: is to have fun. This should not be arduous, It 602 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 6: should not be a terrible thing. Or you should not 603 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 6: be so worried about being ripped off or scammed. I mean, 604 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 6: it does happen, but scamming takes place in every part 605 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 6: of society. So you want to be a good consumer, 606 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,800 Speaker 6: and you do that by finding some people who are 607 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 6: better at it. I had more experience than you, and 608 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 6: you use them as your dating buddy. 609 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, and they'll support you and laugh with you, and 610 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,080 Speaker 4: you know, you know, I think that maybe your mother 611 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 4: in lond needs to find another dating Betty beside you. 612 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 5: The reason is because in the long term, you're not 613 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 5: going to get excited about her romance. 614 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 2: Can I say, And you're not, I actually will, Chris 615 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 2: might not, I say, you know, I'm like, well, it 616 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 2: might be. I'm like, Chris, I don't, honey, I'm not 617 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 2: out there trying to find you a new dad. 618 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 3: This might be weird, but I was swiping. I'm looking, 619 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 3: I'm into it. 620 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing, and this this goes to the 621 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 1: the kids of it all. Now your kids are like, 622 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: I want my mom to find somebody. I want her 623 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 1: to be in love. I want I want that companionship. 624 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 1: At the same time, I don't want to be her 625 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,120 Speaker 1: dating buddy. I don't want to get into the intimacy 626 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 1: of this, Like you know, there needs to be a 627 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,920 Speaker 1: little separation of church and state. Of course, Yes, even. 628 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 3: Though she's actually pretty willing to crack a sex choke. 629 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 2: We were. She'll tell you how long it's been since 630 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 2: she's had a hookup, and and Chris goes, oh god, 631 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 2: oh god, it's. 632 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:20,000 Speaker 1: Very rare that somebody has a more qualified son than me. 633 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 1: As far as finding love. So that's I think this 634 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: is kind of this weird anomaly in life where you 635 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 1: had a guy who did it for twenty years professionally. 636 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 1: But I think even still there needs to be a 637 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,280 Speaker 1: little separation of church and state. But Babe, I just realized, 638 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 1: I think you are my mom's I think. 639 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 3: I were dating buddy. Yes, your daughter Taylor as well. 640 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 6: That's wonderful when it can happen, But I'll tell you, 641 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 6: I think that it's more rare. 642 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 2: Can I ask a specific question and everybody has to 643 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 2: go get the book because just this little taste is 644 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 2: making me. I'm ordering this book for Chris's mom, I'm 645 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 2: ordering it for his aunt. 646 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 3: I'm getting this. But what is the difference then. 647 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 2: Because this is because I will say I never did 648 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 2: the online dating thing, and I've talked to some of 649 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 2: my friends about, like, you know, I think there you 650 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 2: guys just gave the advice of make sure your profile 651 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 2: is really full, for example, as someone who's dating older 652 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 2: literally with your online profile, like what do you tell 653 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 2: is there some should they take certain types of pictures? 654 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 3: Are there? Is there a. 655 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 2: Certain way you might want to word your profile so 656 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 2: it's more accessible and gets better responses. What's some of 657 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,960 Speaker 2: that specific online dating advice. 658 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 4: I think one thing, it's really important to know what 659 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,400 Speaker 4: you want first and who you are, and we talk 660 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 4: about that in the first chapter of the book. Make 661 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 4: a list of what's worked for you in relationships and 662 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 4: what hasn't. 663 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 5: Then that can get you set. 664 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 6: So I can give you a lot of good information, 665 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 6: especially and since you have more experience when you're older. 666 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 6: Use that experience is to help you understand what works 667 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:51,720 Speaker 6: for you and what does not. Because when you're thirty 668 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 6: and you get into a relationship, you have a lot 669 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 6: of time to work out differences, and a lot of 670 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:04,360 Speaker 6: times younger relationships in their twenties and thirties, difference actually attracts. 671 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,720 Speaker 6: You know, you want someone who's going to bring something 672 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 6: else into the thing. When you're older, it's much better 673 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 6: to find someone who's more similar to you because they 674 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 6: don't have all those things to work through. Yeah. Yeah, 675 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 6: when you have the time to work through is it wonderful. 676 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 6: But if you don't get someone who's more similar, because 677 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 6: it's easier. 678 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,160 Speaker 4: So if you've thought about who you are before you 679 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,400 Speaker 4: start on the profile and what it is you want, 680 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 4: then you can start plugging in this is what I want. 681 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:37,719 Speaker 4: It's important that they're financially responsible. I want a long 682 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:41,759 Speaker 4: term relationship. I want somebody that I can really live with. 683 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 4: Or maybe I don't want to live with somebody. I 684 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 4: would just like to have a friendship. You know, you 685 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:48,239 Speaker 4: can put those things in there. 686 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, so be honest, know who you are and know 687 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,759 Speaker 2: what you want. You guys have been so wonderful. And 688 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 2: I want to leave you with one more question, because 689 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 2: you've both been through it all, what dating advice would 690 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 2: you give your younger selves if you could tell them anything. 691 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 2: Since we have a mountain of wisdom in these two professionals, right, I. 692 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,839 Speaker 4: Would say to people, grow through your setbacks and don't 693 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 4: give up finding the one. 694 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't think of failures, think of Hey, now 695 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:22,440 Speaker 6: I'm a better consumer, I'm a better judge of things. 696 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:27,279 Speaker 6: I have this experience, and that experience is worthwhile. It's incredible, 697 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 6: and not all experiences are good. Some of them you 698 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,359 Speaker 6: don't like, but those are teachers and use them now. 699 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, and there's something called post traumatic growth. We like 700 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,799 Speaker 4: to talk about post traumatic stress, but there has been 701 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:44,880 Speaker 4: information to look at post traumatic growth. People who have 702 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 4: been through trauma or have things happen in their lives, 703 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 4: have a lot of really fine qualities of introspection. 704 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:58,760 Speaker 1: Yes, doctor Gloria Horseley, doctor Frank Powers, not just talkings. 705 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,120 Speaker 1: It's great, They're not They're not there. It's like I'm 706 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,520 Speaker 1: not just an extra the owner. 707 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:08,719 Speaker 2: I'm literally leaving this podcast feeling so happy right now 708 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 2: because I have watched you to giggle with each other, 709 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,120 Speaker 2: hug each other on the screen, heard the love and 710 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 2: the joy and the laughter and your voice. I am 711 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 2: walking away feeling hopeful and excited, and I'm about to 712 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,920 Speaker 2: buy Open to Love The Secrets of Senior Dating. It's 713 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,279 Speaker 2: going to be available on Amazon on appropriately Valentine's time. 714 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,359 Speaker 3: I mean, come on, can we go on a double 715 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:30,360 Speaker 3: date with you too? Forever? 716 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 4: In anytime you're in town or in Pallo Author or 717 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:34,920 Speaker 4: San Francisco. 718 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:35,600 Speaker 5: We're there. 719 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:41,879 Speaker 6: We're available because we believe in it so much. 720 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:46,239 Speaker 4: We actually hey, we're happy to have your mother in 721 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,320 Speaker 4: lawns our Dating beddy. 722 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:54,400 Speaker 2: Yes, this is perfect, amazing, We've gotten so much done today. 723 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,799 Speaker 2: Thank you both, what a joy to meet you, and 724 00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 2: thank you for all of your wisdom and yeah, positivity 725 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:01,839 Speaker 2: and hopefulness. 726 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:06,440 Speaker 1: Thanks Christens Fun, Thanks for listening, Follow us on Instagram 727 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,960 Speaker 1: at the most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to 728 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,719 Speaker 1: write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll 729 00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:12,560 Speaker 1: talk to you next time.