WEBVTT - Miscommunication Rage 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.960 Either you're a teenager and you have too much oil, 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:05.960 or you're reaching menopause and all you want. 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:08.560 Is oil because you lose it as you age. 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:12.680 Fun No, finding skincare that works for you is a 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:17.920 tough thing, except that we found the unicorn Neon Hippie. 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.360 It has seven mushrooms, it hydrates. 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:22.320 It's full of nutrients. 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:24.880 Guess what You get a discount on Neon Hippie for 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:27.920 listening to our podcast, The Rage Pod. Use the code 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:47.080 rage for twenty five percent off at neon hippie dot com. 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:49.920 Here we are welcome to the Rage Pod. I'm Ebar. 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:54.360 I'm here with my co host Tara Eriksson. It's me Hi, 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:58.640 and today we are talking about something that we think 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.920 you could all relate to. Miscommunication. Rage. 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:02.880 Everybody has. 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:05.800 It happens all the time on the regular. In fact, 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:09.040 I wonder if it happens more often than actually positive 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:10.959 good while working communication. 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:15.039 Oh yeah, absolutely, hands down miscommunication. 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:19.560 Miscommunication happens I think more than good communication. 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:21.560 Like nobody is communicating. 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:24.399 What everybody is failing? But wait, hold on, what do 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:25.920 you rage about this week? Anything? 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:26.200 Well? 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:31.240 Yeah, the thing that I I'm raging about is related to, 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:33.360 like I was kind of doing a little deep dive 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:37.800 into miscommunication and tell me, do you guys know about 0:01:37.840 --> 0:01:42.319 this suspension bridge at the Hyatt Regency that fell in 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:48.120 nineteen eighty one? No, okay, this is fantastic. So in 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:51.920 nineteen eighty one at the Highatt Regency, this like big 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:56.360 fancy hotel in Saint Louis, Missouri, they decided. 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:58.080 To get real cute. 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:01.080 And bougie and have these like suspension bridges, so like 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:05.640 floating walkways that were suspended from the ceiling. And there 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:08.640 was three of them, so it was like floor two, 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:12.760 floor three, floor four, and it was all around like 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.000 sort of the atrium where people got together. 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:18.320 Okay, can I take a guess on the body camp 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:19.160 before you tell us? 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:19.960 Yeah? 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:22.320 Fifty eight, continue your story, all. 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:23.320 Right, what's your guests? 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:24.760 Seventy five? 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:25.200 Okay. 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:30.680 They would have these like tea dances or like fancy 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:34.160 like social hours in the atrium, which is essentially the 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.600 lobby where people would come and like dance and get 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:41.640 cocktails and food and maybe fucking tea. I guess it 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:46.280 was the tea dance. Yeah, And so they at this big, 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:50.760 like bustling night of people coming in for the tea 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:57.120 dance the fourth floor bridge collapse on the second floor bridge, 0:02:57.160 --> 0:03:00.920 and these are not just like bridges were, Like occasionally 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:02.680 someone will be using it to get from one side 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:03.120 of the hotel. 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:05.080 The other people are a bunch of people on. 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:06.040 It hanging out. 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:06.960 Wow. 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:10.600 Okay, one hundred and ten people died. 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:14.160 Oh my god, I thought fifty eight was high. 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:17.280 Over two hundred people were injured on top of the 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:18.480 one hundred and ten people. 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:21.560 Holy Tomauali, dude. 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:25.280 And this is what happened. So when they designed it, 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.560 they originally thought they were going to have rods that 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:31.600 hung from the ceiling apparatus all the way through because yeah, 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:35.960 four they should because walkway two and walkway four were 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.040 right about like four was above two and then three 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:39.080 was off to the side. 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.080 Yeah, so the rod was. 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:43.480 Supposed to go from the ceiling all the way through 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:46.720 the cross beams of four and two makes sense. They 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:51.800 were worried that the threaded rods might get damaged upon install, 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.880 and so somebody decided, why don't we do a quick 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:59.400 change up on the design and a rod. Basically, the 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:05.320 rod from the top four to two was holding all 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:07.200 of both of those walkways. 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:08.880 But that's not the point of the rod. 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.680 If you're engineering it, you have a rod to stop 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:14.000 four from falling into two should it ever happen. 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:15.360 And it's also like, right. 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.320 So it's a weight bearing issue, right, like four four 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:21.560 is the rod of four is not only holding four, 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.680 but it's holding the weight of two. Soone the dumbest 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:27.400 thing I've heard that was like if you were hanging 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:30.479 from a rope. If two people were hanging from a rope, 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.720 and the second person instead of hanging from the bottom 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.719 part of the rope, they were hanging from a rope, 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:38.920 that the person hanging on the rope like they had 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:41.320 a rope tied around their waist. Yeah, so the person 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:45.320 hanging was holding both themselves up as well as somebody else. 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:47.159 Yeah, it's like Cliffhanger, got it. 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:53.040 And why it's a miscommunication issue is that the fabricators 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:58.040 had assumed that this design had been cleared when they 0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:01.240 went to do it. I mean, Ultimate Lee. It's the 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.080 engineering firm's fault. And there was obviously a huge lawsuit 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:07.680 and everything, but it was because there was also not 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:11.760 like that conversation didn't happen, Like they just assumed, come on, we. 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.280 Gotta have some weight support for each and every one 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:16.880 of them. If it's a suspension bridge. 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:19.640 I think they were thinking maybe that, like the types 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:23.320 of materials they were using, they were getting so fucking 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:27.440 high off their own supply of designing, I think, and their. 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.640 Tea dance, like the Grand Ballroom they were. 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:32.799 So focused on. Yeah, it's like the Grand Ballroom exactly. 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:33.680 Terrible design. 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:37.840 Yeah, edible design, nobody wants. Did we really need these 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:40.720 suspension bridges. I don't know that we did. Maybe we 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:44.279 needed the tea dance. Maybe be the t dance. I 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:47.200 think the tea dance was so fucking popular. That's why 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:49.960 we lost one hundred and ten people because that's how 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:53.360 many people were at the tea dance. People would drive 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:57.760 in from suburbs, like an hour away for this tea dance. Really, 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:01.719 maybe that's the story here is the tead. So miscommunication 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:03.239 can be deadly? 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:04.320 Wow? 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:05.880 Is that? Where is that our lead in? 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:06.919 That's the tie in. 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:10.080 That's our our deadly, our deadly lead in to our 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:14.480 miscommunication stories. Huh. Yeah, anyway, let's talk about miscommunication. 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:17.919 Think about like the miscommunications that might have happened between 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:21.800 people that never got reconciled. Yeah, that never got addressed, 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:23.839 and you went on your whole life thinking one thing 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:25.280 that completely wasn't true. 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:31.360 That stuff like cracks me up. But like entire relationships, yeah, 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:36.480 could be decimated because like someone was you know, left unread. 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:37.560 Yeah, exactly. 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.200 Something that has come up that I think is really helpful. 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:44.560 In this conversation about miscommunication. My therapist so smart he 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:47.640 calls it private logic. M and I think this applies 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:52.360 to miscommunication. Like in our private logic, we assume things 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:54.159 like you fill in the blank, you fill in the blank. 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.040 I mean, private logic happens all the time. 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.839 My my, uh, my story is there's there's friends are 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:02.440 text dread and they're gonna go to a concert. 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:03.279 One girl suggests. 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:05.880 She goes like, hey, we should all wear matching outfits, 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.360 like for fun. And the one girl says, I think 0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:09.040 that would look. 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:10.720 A bit silly, And. 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:15.600 The girl replies, well, you don't have to fucking be 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:18.600 a part of it. Then, So the girl who said 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:22.040 it would look a bit silly went like, lol, haha, 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:25.040 what did you have in mind? Because they normally have 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:27.480 playful banter. You know, how you can give each other 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.640 shit all that stuff she's saying. She was explaining how 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:33.400 they both give each other shit, that's their relationship. So 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:35.920 she was a little taken off guard. So she was like, okay, 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:39.640 let me just like lolvi and like what did you 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:43.160 have in mind? And then the girl sends this really 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:48.920 long paragraph. She says that she was sick of me 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:51.360 that I talked down to her, that she only hasn't 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.400 said anything to keep peace in the friendship friendship group, 0:07:54.640 --> 0:07:58.280 and so this girl was like, apologize immediately, right, and 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:01.880 was like, I didn't realize my playful jobs are actually offensive. 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:04.480 And she wrote like, you know, I'm not great with 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.320 tone and I'm really really sorry. 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:08.680 It didn't intend it that way, like. 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:13.520 I'm very sorry, And this girl did like silence for days, 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:13.880 didn't it? 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:17.760 Reply wa after the woman said sorry, sorry multiple times 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:21.440 and it's like tone, yeah, all that she wrote that 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:25.000 over text? Yeah, why is this happening overtime? 0:08:25.120 --> 0:08:25.880 This is a problem. 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:26.920 You're asking for it. 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:29.400 We're doing this over text the whole thing. 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:32.000 She's bad with tone, and this is not on all 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:36.000 everyone's contribute, Like is participating in the context she's bad 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.520 with tone? You think it's gonna be one hundred percent 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.400 clear over a fucking text message. 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:42.280 This is literally the key and Peel skit. 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:45.560 Yeah, it totally is where I'm like, just you gotta 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:48.680 send a voice memo, right, you gotta, you gotta. That's 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.320 the like the quick fix there where you're like, hey, man, 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:52.840 really sorry about that. 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:54.720 I don't know the fuck is going on. I did 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:55.720 not mean it that way. 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:59.800 So they can like hear how you are in that moment, 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:01.960 and then hopefully they'll reply. 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:04.880 I don't know how old is this fucking good girl? 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.800 Like one step further than a voice memo. Those were 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:15.640 some pretty big feelings and like sort of character assessments. 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:18.520 I would say, if that friendship's gonna last, we need 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:20.880 more than a void. We need a coffee, we need 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:23.439 an in person, we need a commitment. So you need 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:25.880 to you need to be willing to commit to the 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:29.000 cost of gas to meet that person somewhere, because they 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:32.040 relate the friendship's worth it, right, Like I'm seeing text 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:35.160 message and I'm like, oh, this is a this is 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:36.679 a casual once a month front. 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:37.240 You know. 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:39.360 The funny thing is they've been friends since they were 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:40.080 ten years old. 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.400 Wow. Yeah, I couldn't even do a phone call. 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:45.920 Isn't that wild? That's why the whole thing. It blew 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:49.040 up on Reddit and people. They publish it in the 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.640 magazine and got it published. People's replies to it. 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:54.920 Oh, but they got published in a magazine. It was 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:58.920 all worth it. 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:59.480 Was it might have been man, But I mean that's 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:02.520 a thing like even in in in the podcast here, 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:05.520 it's like there's been miscommunication between all of us and 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:08.280 we and we have had to go to dinner or 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.200 like whatever, not coffee, but. 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:12.840 Where we have been forced to go to dinner and 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:18.040 have Margarita's to talk about good fucking guacamole. Yeah, and 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:18.720 it sucked. 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:20.040 Yeah, we worked it out. 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:21.000 It really blew. 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:25.080 But no, but I'm saying like it happens. It's funny 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.320 in a text that you can misread tone, but I 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:30.240 think a lot of it that people don't clock is 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:33.480 like it really depends on what mood that person is 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.280 on that motherfucking. 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.040 Day, but is everybody's mood. That's where I'm dealing with 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:42.120 a bunch of people that are walking around insecure as shit, 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:45.160 assuming that they're not good enough, assuming that people think 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:47.920 they suck, assuming that things aren't going as well as 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:51.800 maybe like they should be. Not to mention whatever, like 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:54.320 horrible things have happened either in the world or in 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.560 their bristle, like all these things that affect them, but 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:01.200 none of that, none of that context gets shared. So 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.680 that's why I think it's helpful to ask questions, like 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.440 clarifying questions, like I know I do it with you 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:09.120 on the pod sometimes, like I'm like, well, wait, what 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:10.680 do you mean by that? Like I want to break 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:14.600 that down right, because I feel like sometimes and I 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.760 know Ben and I get into this like argument a lot. 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:20.520 I'm like, no, no, I'm truly like I think sometimes 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.760 he thinks I'm smarter than I am, Like, no, I 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:25.280 truly need to know what you mean. I don't know. 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:27.679 I want you to like spell it out like I'm 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.440 five years old, right, and then I'm like, oh, okay, 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:31.679 now I get it. 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.440 That's why I've always said, even to you guys into 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.080 friends where I'm like, just don't be afraid to hurt 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:40.760 my feelings, because the last thing that I would want 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:45.079 is someone to build up resentment because they don't know 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:48.439 how to be like you know what, I what I 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:50.520 really want to tell you right now is to falk off, 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:51.800 and I don't want to talk to you for a week. 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:55.040 I'd be like, all right, then we'll reconvene in a week, 0:11:55.400 --> 0:12:00.520 because I'd rather have that than what I to feel 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:03.679 like with friends or with with people in general, that 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:05.840 you're like, are they hiding something? 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.400 Are they resentment? Are they bitter? Right now? What's the 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:09.720 fuck is going on? 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.920 Because I feel like I am I'm not a fucking mpath, 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:17.640 but I'm saying, like pretty observant can tend to feel 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:20.240 somebody's energy, and sometimes I don't come in with the 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:23.360 best energy because of my depression or whatever. And except 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:26.079 when I'm like, Okay, now I'm on, don't don't pay 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:29.520 attention to my face or how I'm speaking. I'm just 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.199 in a mode because I just got out of my car. 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:33.439 I'm listening to sad music. Give me a minute, that 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:36.040 that type of vibe. But when I'm like, you know, 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:38.720 when you can feel something from somebody, I'd rather than 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.400 be like, you know what, I'm fucking pissed at you 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:45.760 because of this fucking thing, and that's why. And so 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:47.440 I'm just gonna sit over here and think about it. 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:49.720 And now you could sit with that, and I'd be like, okay, 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:50.679 but do you. 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:52.760 Okay, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be on it, but 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:55.040 do you think in all cases that's true. Can you 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:59.400 say with one hundred percent clarity that you truly And 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:03.040 I'm not just saying you, but I think, because you're 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.480 talking right now, I think people say this. I don't 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:09.960 think it's always one hundred percent true that people want actual, 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.080 honest communication all the time. And I think anyone who 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:14.760 says yes is a fucking liar. 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:18.600 Yeah, I think depending on most of the people, I 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.280 do I disagree with you. 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:22.440 I don't believe you. I do not believe you. I 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:27.040 don't think that in every situation the full extent of 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:30.120 the honest, like of the honest communication is something that 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:31.960 you want all the time. I'm not saying that you 0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:33.280 don't want a lot of it. 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.000 But why can't you give it? Give it to me 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:38.559 right now? You're already a little heated up nobody I am, 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:40.520 And you're saying that you don't know what they handle. 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.640 So I like that, But why do we think I can't? 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:45.400 Because I think you're a human being. 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:47.959 I think if you you probably have examples of me 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:49.680 my character racist as a person. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:50.800 You think that made you go? 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:51.200 Right? 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.160 I dare you think my memory is going to be 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:55.080 able to access anything specific? 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:55.480 Well? 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:55.920 I don't know. 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:58.000 Maybe it's mab. I was it's menopause. 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:00.520 I mean, h no, I thought you were going to 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:05.199 be like, because you communicate this way, you know what 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:05.560 I mean. 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:07.319 Like I was like, oh, though I was sitting on 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:08.319 something specific. 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:11.280 Yeah, I was like, maybe Ebar has something and I. 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:13.800 Don't know that there's been sometimes in the past, and 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:17.160 I'm just I'm not referencing the specifics of it. But again, 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:20.160 I don't think this is specific to you. I think 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:22.120 it is a very human thing. I think we like 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:28.520 to romanticize the idea of everybody having honest communication, right right, 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:32.920 But I also don't think that everyone is skilled in 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:38.080 honest communication, right, Like, if you're just spouting out what 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:43.080 your reptilian feelings are about somebody, yeah, that's not always 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:49.080 the most effective. It's not always the most helpful, right right. 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:50.440 So I do. 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.720 Think sometimes a degree of filtering in terms of just 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:58.400 what your like heated emotional responses, yeah, can be can 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:02.680 be healthy because some just getting like the honest like, hey, 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:05.680 what is actually going on? What's the script going on 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:07.960 in your head? Telling it to me now? Yeah, yeah, 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:11.080 might actually just be hurtful and that yeah, And now 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:13.400 you might say something that you could never take back 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.120 or something instead of like sitting for a minute and 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:17.960 being like, but why do I really do I really 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.480 feel that way? And what have I done and what 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:22.560 you know what I'm saying like and then saying, hey, 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.160 this is how I feel and this is the honest 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:28.240 feeling that I have, you know, as opposed to just 0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:32.280 always being completely unfiltered and how you're feeling, because sometimes 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:34.880 you're not going to feel that way the next day 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:37.600 or in a week from then, but maybe there's been 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:40.760 some irreparable damage because you've just spouted off what you 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:41.880 were thinking at the time. 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:44.080 Do you think like with certain people they have to 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:46.080 do more filtering than others? Probably? 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:47.280 Yeah, for sure? 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:47.840 Yeah? 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:51.560 Is that kind of annoying? Use me for I don't know. 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.080 I'm like trying to think about it where. 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:58.080 I'm like, oh, when you say yes automatically it is. 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.960 There are people that pop in your mind that you're like, man, 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.240 I gotta really filter this out right now before I 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.680 say anything, you know what I mean? Yeah? 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.160 I mean, I don't know if it's like the person 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.360 that pops into my head and I'm not gonna reveal 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:15.040 who they are, but I don't think of it as 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.160 like it's not a bummer to me. 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:21.120 Yeah, you're It's more just like I know what's helpful 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:21.680 for her. 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.000 I know, like I can get across what I need 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:29.000 to get across to her in a way that's going 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:32.360 to be of service to her. And it's still like 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.240 I'm still being honest to how I feel about something. 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:37.240 Yeah, Okay, so that's good. So you feel like you 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:40.880 could still have the filter communicate in a way that 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:42.080 eases that that. 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:44.600 Person that's listening to you, but also still get your 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:47.480 honest truth across. Yeah, because if you didn't, then you'd 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.640 still be like thought, well fuck me right. Yeah, So 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:53.640 that's that's that. I guess that's tone. That's like what 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:56.200 we were talking about, Like everybody has a different way 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:59.760 of communicating. Everybody has a different tone, and I guess 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:03.000 the way they handle communication, which is why, Yeah. 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:05.960 We were bad at it as a race, and we're 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.920 just getting worse. It's just getting worse with the younger generation. 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:11.600 Even just working in an office with a lot of 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.040 you know, younger gen z. They can't pick up the 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:15.120 phone and call somebody. 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:16.240 They can't do it. 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:17.240 What a phone is. 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:19.200 It's unbelievable, just like. 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:20.639 I mean, I know what they know what this is, 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:22.680 but they do do they know that there's a phone part? 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.600 I don't think so. I think it's really hard for them, 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:27.560 and I think it's only getting worse. And think about 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:29.520 when we were kids and we were growing up, like 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.240 the way that you found other kids as you went 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:34.359 outside your house and you saw who was hanging out 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.640 up the street or riding bikes, or even in college, 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.040 like go through the door, who's hanging out on the 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:42.760 seventh floor lounge. Like you would have to go out 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.959 into the world to communicate and talk with people. And 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.040 now we've got this digital curtain that everybody hides behind, 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:53.920 and it's just making our communication worse and worse, I think. 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:57.399 But isn't there also this like revival of old school 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:00.479 styles of communication, because now it's become novel and like 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:03.479 younger generations are, it's like starting to like come into style, 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:06.880 like the idea of like having you know, a face 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:09.400 to face conversation or like being on the phone, or 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:13.320 like even CDs apparently are like of interest to younger generations. 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:17.520 Well, I think like retro vinyl CDs, the disposable cameras. 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:20.600 But when it comes to communication. I don't think. I 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:21.280 don't think so. 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:25.760 I think they're scared interesting. My niece who's fifteen, when 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.920 I asked her when Riz won Out of Style, she said, 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:32.479 I don't know. I'm chronically not online. I was like, 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:35.639 I've never been more I've never been more proud of 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:37.479 the in my life. Yeah. 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.680 Absolutely, the fuck does she do? 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:42.120 And I do think there is that she does shit. 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.880 She's like, reads the theater, she reads a fuck ton 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:45.240 of book. 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:46.160 There we go again. 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:49.000 She hangs out with friends, she plays like she's like 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:50.920 in band love that. Yeah. 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:53.439 Have you guys ever had the miscommunication where it's like 0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:56.200 you're where you feel like someone's like you're like you're 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:58.879 arguing with your act from like ten years ago and 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.360 not arguing with you personally, because. 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:02.040