Speaker 1: Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds? Halen Miller Keys and
Speaker 1: Jared Haven and I Heart radio podcast. Hello everyone, and
Speaker 1: welcome to an all new episode of Help We Suck
Speaker 1: At Being Newlyweds. I am your co host Kyle Miller Keys.
Speaker 1: I'm here with Jared, and Dean is in Antarctica, so
Speaker 1: he is not here with us. First of all, round
Speaker 1: of applause. What an intro you've already You're already so
Speaker 1: much better at it than teen. It's gonna be It's
Speaker 1: gonna be weird for a while to hear that title. Look,
Speaker 1: because I'm so used to being like, help by suck
Speaker 1: at dating, and now it's like, Hey, help we suck
Speaker 1: at being newlyweds? So you got to figure out the
Speaker 1: cadence a little bit. I thought you did a great job.
Speaker 1: You kidding me? So what the hell is going on
Speaker 1: with team? Um? I am pretty exhausted. I just got
Speaker 1: back from a Super Bowl waste management weekend in Phoenix
Speaker 1: and I was supposed to fly out to Denver today
Speaker 1: and I canceled my flight. I was like, I just
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I can't make it happen. But um,
Speaker 1: super fun weekend and now I'm back home with a
Speaker 1: little al So what's going on is Dean? Like, is
Speaker 1: he on the boat to Antarctica right now? Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: only talked to him. He texts me once every day
Speaker 1: like he I think he gets service like once a
Speaker 1: day at eight am. So I've talked to him. We've
Speaker 1: exchanged like two text messages. But he said yesterday he
Speaker 1: stepped foot on Antartica for the first time. He's already there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a long time to get there. Um, he's there for
Speaker 1: two weeks, I think, But I don't know if that
Speaker 1: includes the three days on the ship. In three days
Speaker 1: back to USA. Does in for just give you like
Speaker 1: so much anxiety the man you're about to marry, Like
Speaker 1: these are the things you're just gonna have to deal
Speaker 1: with for the rest of your life. He just keeps
Speaker 1: life interesting. You know, I'll always be on my toes.
Speaker 1: It'll it'll always be fun. It will always be fun.
Speaker 1: I know. It is a very fun lof style. I
Speaker 1: was thinking about it earlier because I was just answering
Speaker 1: emails and I was like, I gotta, I gotta go outside.
Speaker 1: I just need soun or fresh air or do something
Speaker 1: so different. He will give he will keep you on
Speaker 1: your toes. But like, I think about it my own relationship,
Speaker 1: because if I didn't, if I did these things, like
Speaker 1: Ashley doesn't want me go into the grocery store by myself,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. She's so worried that the
Speaker 1: idea of being like the idea or like if I
Speaker 1: have to drive thirty minutes, She's like, Oh, just be careful,
Speaker 1: make sure you pay attention on the road, keep your
Speaker 1: hands on the wheel at all times, don't look at
Speaker 1: your phone. If I told her, I was like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm going on a three days ship where I'm probably
Speaker 1: not gonna be able to talk to you, and we're
Speaker 1: going to Antarctica and it's gonna be pretty rough and scary.
Speaker 1: And then I'll be an Antarctica for two weeks in
Speaker 1: the WiFi, probably in and out, and then I'll be
Speaker 1: back on the ship for three more days. She's like, eating, No,
Speaker 1: you're not You're not doing this voluntarily. This is not
Speaker 1: your life. When you explain it like that, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it sounds pretty nuts. Is your family that they ever
Speaker 1: like is Dean? Is Dean gonna be doing these things
Speaker 1: for like the rest of time? Um My, so we're
Speaker 1: super close to my grandparents. They live right next to us,
Speaker 1: and they just love him so much and love like
Speaker 1: all the adventures, especially because they were like in the
Speaker 1: FBI and they did all this cool stuff in life.
Speaker 1: So I think they just admire it about him and
Speaker 1: they like what he brings out in me. Your grandparents
Speaker 1: were in the FBI? Yeah, is that how they met? Yeah?
Speaker 1: My grandpa was her boss. Actually, Oh, that's got to
Speaker 1: be illegal. I know, well, definitely now, I don't know
Speaker 1: about back then. Probably. Actually, Wow, that's so cool. Can
Speaker 1: they even admit that they were in the FBI? Re
Speaker 1: breaking news right now? No? No, they can otherwise Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd be screwed. But it's like they're in My grandma
Speaker 1: was in headlines and stuff. She was actually in the
Speaker 1: James Comee documentary or not documentary, the show. So someone
Speaker 1: was dear to fight my grandma. That's so freaking cool.
Speaker 1: Holy hell, Yeah, they're they're like the coolest people ever.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I want to meet your grandparents and just
Speaker 1: get stories from the FBI. Did they uh, did they
Speaker 1: ever meet like Jay Gruber? Honestly? Probably? I feel like
Speaker 1: they like know everyone. That's so cool. Holy crapt Wow,
Speaker 1: your grandparents say that they love what Dean brings out
Speaker 1: of you. What does he bring out of you? Just
Speaker 1: an adventurous side and a care free side just because
Speaker 1: of like the way that he is, and he goes
Speaker 1: to Antarctica. I just have to like let loose a
Speaker 1: little bit and not be so uptight. So it's just
Speaker 1: it's a good balance between the two of us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need. I need your grandparents talk to Ashley. She
Speaker 1: doesn't even want us to. She doesn't want him to
Speaker 1: go on like a golf trip, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: She just gets so worried, which is so sweet that
Speaker 1: she cares so much. And I love it. And of course,
Speaker 1: like I get nervous too. Anytime she's on a plane
Speaker 1: or anything. I'm like, okay, like, you know, just be safe,
Speaker 1: be careful, especially if she's traveling to Dawson. Like she
Speaker 1: was thinking about going to see your grandma. Yesterday. We
Speaker 1: were in the car and then out of nowhere, she's like,
Speaker 1: I think I might drive to Jersey this weekend. And
Speaker 1: I was like what, and she's like, yeah, I might
Speaker 1: take Dawson. I just want to see my grandmother. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, man, I don't know, because
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to work this weekend. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. If I like the idea of you
Speaker 1: and Dawson in a car for like four hours, that's
Speaker 1: scary to me. So I don't know. So it's similar
Speaker 1: to you and Ashley. You're both a little Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: just worri wars. It's terrible. It's not a good way
Speaker 1: to live. I'll tell you. We do have a great,
Speaker 1: great episode. We have a very special guest, you know her,
Speaker 1: for being the first bachelorette ever, I'd probably argue the
Speaker 1: most famous bachelorette maybe her or Caitlin. I'd say bristows
Speaker 1: up there, but man, everybody knows Trista. Everybody knows Trista. Um.
Speaker 1: But we have a wonderful guest. It is, of course
Speaker 1: Trista Sutter. So we're super excited. But before we get
Speaker 1: to her, let's take a quick break. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: help we suck at being newlyweds. I'm working on it here.
Speaker 1: We have a very special guest, you know her, she's
Speaker 1: the first bachelor wrette Trista. I said, you probably the
Speaker 1: most famous bachelorette i'd say you are Caitlin Bristow because
Speaker 1: everybody knows who you are, including our audience. It is
Speaker 1: Trista Sutter. Ladies and gentlemen, y, what's your maiden name? Rensto?
Speaker 1: That was me, that was Do you ever miss it?
Speaker 1: I don't actually, um, yeah, I don't even really think
Speaker 1: about it unless, like it came up from my fiftieth
Speaker 1: birthday a friend of mine, Uh was getting She got
Speaker 1: me this like pickle ball bag that had my monogram
Speaker 1: on it, and she was like, what's your monogram? And
Speaker 1: I was like, actually, I don't even know, um, but
Speaker 1: I usually, like legally just put my middle name down um.
Speaker 1: And I had to think about my maiden name for once.
Speaker 1: I'd never think of it. I don't know. It's just
Speaker 1: because I'm now Trista sut Her and happened for twenty years.
Speaker 1: That's so crazy. My sister Uh is married and has
Speaker 1: a daughter, so it is my first niece. And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, she's just a little haben. And then my
Speaker 1: brother in law was like, she's a Leary and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's right, Oh my god, that's right.
Speaker 1: That's so weird. I just and then like in years
Speaker 1: it was with Ashley because she technically her her name
Speaker 1: is still I can Eddie. She hasn't changed it, but
Speaker 1: like you know, she goes by Ashley I can Eddie Haben,
Speaker 1: and I wonder if she's ever gonna just go like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll just be Ashley Habn and then hopefully we're still around,
Speaker 1: like thirty years or now, if she looks back and
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, like I was Ashley I
Speaker 1: can Eddie one's and now I've been Ashley Haven for
Speaker 1: thirty years. It's just weird, you're right, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I was n for thirty of my years and twenty
Speaker 1: has been Setter, So it is weird. It's funny that
Speaker 1: you're asking me this because I was watching a video
Speaker 1: of my kids when they were little. I was just
Speaker 1: going through videos, kind of trying to get rid of
Speaker 1: some um because you know how many photos and videos
Speaker 1: are on the phone and then it stops working anyway. So, um,
Speaker 1: there's this video of my kids and I was asking them,
Speaker 1: you know, their names. Blakesley was like too, and like
Speaker 1: what's your name? Like, tell me your full name, what's
Speaker 1: your brother's name? And Max said Maxwell all Aston Cutter
Speaker 1: or he said Maxwell Allston Holton, which is a friend
Speaker 1: of ours, And I'm like, no, You're actually gonna be
Speaker 1: Maxwell Alston Cutter your whole life. But Blakesley is going
Speaker 1: to be somebody else. And I'm like, that's so weird.
Speaker 1: Like why it's so weird, I don't know. It was
Speaker 1: probably the dumbest reason why the first person did it.
Speaker 1: It was probably there was no there's no purpose of
Speaker 1: doing it. It just did it, and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden it caught on and people are like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: this is the way life is meant to be. It's like,
Speaker 1: this is so weird. I don't get it. What are
Speaker 1: you doing, Kitlin? Are you keeping your maiden name? No,
Speaker 1: definitely not. I am getting rid of it soon. Um,
Speaker 1: we're changing our last names to Bell. That's Dean's mom's
Speaker 1: maiden name. Oh yes, right yeah. And then I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take my Miller and then make that my
Speaker 1: middle name. So Caylin Miller Bell. That's so I love that.
Speaker 1: That is very nice. That's like you should be in movies. Now.
Speaker 1: That's a lead actress name. That's so true. It's coming
Speaker 1: this February. Ashton Kutcher Kaylin Miller Bell in The love Birds.
Speaker 1: I think that could really work, and I do want
Speaker 1: to play a game though, because I'm curious. You said, like,
Speaker 1: how many videos and photos? I'm oh, you do know? Okay,
Speaker 1: so I've been trying to delete so many before you
Speaker 1: say it. Out of the three of us, who do
Speaker 1: you guys think has the most? I mean me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're the one who has all these kids. You're a
Speaker 1: new dad, and if you don't have a million photos,
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna I'm totally betting you, or I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess you. Then you probably use your phone to
Speaker 1: upload your like your videos too. I know you take
Speaker 1: a lot of pictures and videos, but you also use
Speaker 1: like you're heavy duty camera. So I bet, I bet.
Speaker 1: I'm betting you because if you're at the point where
Speaker 1: you're deleting photos and videos because your phone is my
Speaker 1: phone is working, I mean not well, but it's working.
Speaker 1: So my money's on Trista unfortunately. Can I think you're
Speaker 1: gonna come in third place? I hope I do. That
Speaker 1: would be so embarrassing if that's I have no kids,
Speaker 1: all right, I mean you have Dean. He's pretty much
Speaker 1: a child, all right, So my number right now, if
Speaker 1: I just go over recent I am at. I don't
Speaker 1: know if this is good or bad. Twenty six thousand,
Speaker 1: nine hundred and seventy three Wow, ten thousand, two d
Speaker 1: and thirty something? How many thousand working? Obviously? Wow? Wait
Speaker 1: you don't. I wish Ashley was here. Ashley, I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure has more than fifty thousand. She would blow us
Speaker 1: all away, yes, agreed. Like anytime we need to go
Speaker 1: get a new phone or computer, it's like she starts
Speaker 1: saying words with amount of storage because like I know,
Speaker 1: like gigabytes and all this, and she's like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what is it? Terrabytes? Yeah, she needs like so
Speaker 1: much terra bytes. And I'm like, and then we bought
Speaker 1: a computer because she needs to download so because her
Speaker 1: phone is not working either. Oh my god, who just
Speaker 1: said they have that? Is crazy? Eastern No, Easton, can
Speaker 1: you hop on here for a second, buddy, Easton Easton Easton,
Speaker 1: our wonderful producer and backbone of this podcast, just message
Speaker 1: us saying he has ninety one thousand? Easton? Why nine
Speaker 1: one thousand? I was just as surprised as you worried
Speaker 1: to see that I have that many? Um and most
Speaker 1: of them are just pictures of Eminem's that I say
Speaker 1: from the internet. So I got to and delete these things.
Speaker 1: That's amazing with like all the pictures kids too, Like
Speaker 1: I missed the days of going photo albums, like you
Speaker 1: go over your grandparents house and then you go through
Speaker 1: photo albums. So, Trista, you have been married for is
Speaker 1: it twenty years in December? Yeah? Whole your twenty anniversary?
Speaker 1: Do you guys have anything like is there anything specific
Speaker 1: you want to do for it? I have been contemplating
Speaker 1: trying to get a plan in place to do avow renewal.
Speaker 1: I haven't done anything about it yet, but at ten
Speaker 1: years we did about renewal here in Beaver Creek and
Speaker 1: the show filmed it UM. I can't remember whose season
Speaker 1: it was back then, but I think they aired it
Speaker 1: during whoever season it was on UM. So I'm contemplating,
Speaker 1: Like we got married in Palm Springs, we did our
Speaker 1: about renewal in Beaver Creek, and I'm thinking maybe we
Speaker 1: need a beach this time. So I don't know, trying
Speaker 1: to think about things that we could do for My
Speaker 1: kids really love to travel, as do we, and any excuse,
Speaker 1: so seriously, no plans yet, but maybe soon that will
Speaker 1: be so sweet. What is the secrets? So we've got
Speaker 1: two newlyweds almost newlywed? Yes, what is the secret for
Speaker 1: a long happy marriage? Oh? Goodness? Um? And well, first
Speaker 1: of all, I have to say, I feel like I
Speaker 1: co hosted this podcast with Molly Mesnick when you guys
Speaker 1: couldn't do it Jared right, Um, And I love that
Speaker 1: it was help. I second dating back then, and I
Speaker 1: and you guys changed it, were evolving, were ever changing,
Speaker 1: you know. I love it. I think it's awesome. Um. So,
Speaker 1: I that's a big question. But I think that all
Speaker 1: the things that you have heard through the years that
Speaker 1: anyone has heard really stand true. You know, communication, talking
Speaker 1: to each other is key. Um. I think that forgiveness
Speaker 1: is also a huge one. And it's not like forgiveness
Speaker 1: in terms of huge indiscretions or big drama. You know,
Speaker 1: it can be like like today, for example, my husband
Speaker 1: had asked me to go have coffee with a friend
Speaker 1: of his who has a company that he wanted to
Speaker 1: tell us about, and I saw it on the schedule
Speaker 1: totally forgot that I had he had booked it for
Speaker 1: both of us. I thought it was just for him.
Speaker 1: When I looked at the schedule, and when Hannah reached
Speaker 1: out and asked if I could be on the podcast,
Speaker 1: I said, sure, I can. I'm in whatever, And he's
Speaker 1: actually having coffee with his friend right now. So I
Speaker 1: feel like he's gonna need to forgive me for today,
Speaker 1: you know, for double booking. Um. So it can be little,
Speaker 1: you know, little things like that, but I think it's
Speaker 1: constant forgiveness for I don't know, saying something hurtful or
Speaker 1: double booking for something important to the other person, um,
Speaker 1: along with you know, bigger things, but forgiveness I think
Speaker 1: is one of them. Um. Really just trying to have
Speaker 1: fun in life, Like you're doing life together and and
Speaker 1: life gets busy, especially when you have kids, it gets
Speaker 1: really busy, and I end up being like the logistical
Speaker 1: manager and driving everywhere and trying to keep the house
Speaker 1: in order, and then he's off at work, you know,
Speaker 1: doing his thing, and it's just hard to stay connected
Speaker 1: and focused and having fun. So I think making sure
Speaker 1: that you're still making time for fun together, whether it's
Speaker 1: a family or as a couple, um, date nights, to
Speaker 1: just prioritizing your relationship, I think is is extremely extreme.
Speaker 1: Really important, and I think that's probably a big reason
Speaker 1: why after the show we were successful, because we prioritize
Speaker 1: our relationship above everything else. You know, it's a whirlwind
Speaker 1: when you finish the show, and there's a lot of
Speaker 1: opportunity and really fun things, but I think making sure
Speaker 1: that you are prioritizing each other and um, you know,
Speaker 1: the other's priorities and their values and their wants and
Speaker 1: needs is really important. I think one of the issues
Speaker 1: Ashley and I have is that it's so easy just
Speaker 1: to get into this mundane routine because you talk about
Speaker 1: having fun and really setting time aside to ensure that
Speaker 1: we're doing things. But I think especially you know, with
Speaker 1: with having Dawson this year and opening a business and
Speaker 1: her being a r island, there's just been a lot
Speaker 1: of um just stress, you know, So you get into
Speaker 1: the routine of like this is what it is, and
Speaker 1: every day is kind of feeling the same a little bit.
Speaker 1: And so it's tough as well because we want to
Speaker 1: priority we prioritize our relationship and us being as parents,
Speaker 1: but there's also an individuality that we need to prioritize
Speaker 1: as well. Not prioritize, but like there's time because we
Speaker 1: got I talked about in the podcast a couple of times.
Speaker 1: We're like, um, I remember last year we got into
Speaker 1: a little bit of fight because I was like, I
Speaker 1: just want to grab a beut with my friends because
Speaker 1: we're watching a movie where like this guy goes back
Speaker 1: to his hometown, goes to like his local dive bar,
Speaker 1: hangs out with his boys, like he hasn't seen him. Like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I would love to do that. And then
Speaker 1: she was like, well, you need to make sure it's
Speaker 1: on a day that I'm not with Dawson all day
Speaker 1: because I don't want to be home alone. And then
Speaker 1: I was like never mind, like I don't even want
Speaker 1: to do it anymore. And then it's just like she's
Speaker 1: like no, like I want you to do it. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want you to be with your friends and like figure,
Speaker 1: you know, I want you to have you know, go
Speaker 1: and like get I don't know whatever. She you know,
Speaker 1: she likes to go like just get manicure manicure with
Speaker 1: her friends, like her sister or something like that. So
Speaker 1: it's it's tough. It's tough to like find the time
Speaker 1: to do that, and I think it I want to
Speaker 1: ask you like, what advice do you have for people
Speaker 1: who I know? It's it's so easy to say, like
Speaker 1: you have to set time, like for yourself or for
Speaker 1: you as a couple, because we not to go. We
Speaker 1: spend so much time together. It's weird that we spend
Speaker 1: so much time together and yet it's like, well, we
Speaker 1: have to spend more time together because it's like we're
Speaker 1: not married, you know, we're just like we're we are married,
Speaker 1: but we're not dating. Yeah, and you need to still date. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think I think it's just doing it, you know,
Speaker 1: like whether it's um, scheduling in advance, being spontaneous, whatever
Speaker 1: works for your relationship. I think that it's just a
Speaker 1: matter of doing it. So if fun to you is
Speaker 1: going out and having beers with your friends, I think
Speaker 1: you do it and you figure out something for Ashley
Speaker 1: to do. Like when in a relationship, you know there
Speaker 1: are times when you know one person is going to
Speaker 1: be super stressed out and one person is going to
Speaker 1: feel calm. You have to meet in the middle. You know,
Speaker 1: you switch roles constantly of who's stressed, who's calm, who
Speaker 1: needs something, who is fine? You know, like all of
Speaker 1: those things need to be in balance, and I think
Speaker 1: it's just a matter of making sure that you do it.
Speaker 1: So um And And I don't know if Ashley likes surprises.
Speaker 1: I don't know if Dean likes surprises. I feel like
Speaker 1: surprises are always good. Like Ryan, we don't normally like
Speaker 1: celebrate UM holidays on the holiday, so like Valentine's yesterday, UM,
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking that we would actually do anything. I
Speaker 1: hadn't planned anything. I just thought, you know, we'd get
Speaker 1: each other cards, you know, flowers were part of the
Speaker 1: program whatever. And he was like, he texted me and said,
Speaker 1: will you be my Valentine? Um, I have dinner reservations
Speaker 1: at six thirty, and you know that was I love surprises.
Speaker 1: I love getting a text from my husband out of
Speaker 1: you know, the blue twenty years of marriage almost and
Speaker 1: you know, still having him asked me out on a date.
Speaker 1: So I think just any way that you can, um,
Speaker 1: you can make time for each other and do things
Speaker 1: that are fun even though you are together a lot,
Speaker 1: doing something like I feel like Ashley just posted something
Speaker 1: that you guys were I feel like you just went
Speaker 1: on it. Okay, yeah, yeah, on her story so cute,
Speaker 1: And that's exactly what I feel like I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: you know, just making time to do something out of
Speaker 1: the box that you don't normally do during the day,
Speaker 1: getting a babysitter for Dawson, and making time for whatever
Speaker 1: makes you guys happy. It's important. I love that. Also,
Speaker 1: we were talking about this last week. I wonder what
Speaker 1: you're opinion on it. On it is, do you think
Speaker 1: that the spark goes away? Because I have couples who
Speaker 1: think both ways, like, yes, the spark dies and it's
Speaker 1: just a different relationship, and no, just the better you
Speaker 1: get to know someone, the more you like are sexually
Speaker 1: attracted to them, you know. I think it depends on
Speaker 1: on the people. I think that, yes, life gets in
Speaker 1: the way, honestly, um of a lot of intimacy and
Speaker 1: moments that you did not have or that you did
Speaker 1: have before. It just changes. But I think it's up
Speaker 1: to you, again as a couple, to make sure that
Speaker 1: you are staying in tune with who your partner is
Speaker 1: and what they need and what they want, because individually
Speaker 1: you're changing, you know, Individually you change what you're excited
Speaker 1: about and what you're into, you know, So I think
Speaker 1: just making sure that you're in tune with each other's
Speaker 1: needs and desires and um, and evolving with your relationship
Speaker 1: is is really important. Um, And it's just up to
Speaker 1: you to keep the spark alive. What do you think, Well,
Speaker 1: we talked a little bit about this last week. I
Speaker 1: think I think this spark just gets stronger, but in
Speaker 1: a different way. Yeah, like it's not like the first
Speaker 1: second date type of spark. But I was going to
Speaker 1: ask you that too, Um, how you dealt with that adapting?
Speaker 1: Because Diana and I started dating when I was fairly young,
Speaker 1: and we both have changed and adapted. Did you find
Speaker 1: that was hard when I mean it's been twenty years,
Speaker 1: so I can only imagine how much you've changed in
Speaker 1: those twenty years. Oh yeah, I mean I think it's hard.
Speaker 1: But it's also like if you're with the person that
Speaker 1: you love the most in the world and your best
Speaker 1: friends and you respect each other, and then it isn't
Speaker 1: that hard, you know, do you just you just go
Speaker 1: with the flow and you're I'm grateful to be married
Speaker 1: to Ryan, you know, and and because of that, and
Speaker 1: because I appreciate who he is, and I think he
Speaker 1: would say the same thing that it's not it's not hard,
Speaker 1: you know. Compared to other hard things in life, I
Speaker 1: feel like it's relatively easy because you're with the person
Speaker 1: that you love and you're going to do anything to
Speaker 1: continue your relationship. You know, when I went ice skating,
Speaker 1: now that I thought about it on Saturday, I was
Speaker 1: thinking in the moment, how ice skating for me would
Speaker 1: be a terrible first date because I did not fall.
Speaker 1: Ashley and I had this bet because I was like, actually,
Speaker 1: you're going down, and she's like, I'm not falling. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to fall, and I said, any time I've
Speaker 1: gone ice skating, I've fallen. I did not fall, to
Speaker 1: my surprise, but I was thinking about what I must
Speaker 1: have looked like on skates, with the entire time on
Speaker 1: there just trying not to fall, and then I saw
Speaker 1: other people like skating together and like kind of like
Speaker 1: going slow, and then like it's just like I must
Speaker 1: have looked so unattractive because the times were like you
Speaker 1: almost fallen. You're like it's like, oh God, like, there's
Speaker 1: no way any I think that, knowing how much Ashley
Speaker 1: loves you, that you're thinking that you look awful, but
Speaker 1: she thinks it's super cute, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Of course, now, it's a great day, you know. But
Speaker 1: if we were on a first day and Ashley saw
Speaker 1: me on skate, you might be like, I'm oh, I
Speaker 1: don't know about this one. Never mind, Why was I
Speaker 1: so obsessed with this guy? This is kind of quite
Speaker 1: not the scene I was going to look for. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it evolves, it changes, I know, it really does. Do
Speaker 1: you have any words of wisdom for anybody out there
Speaker 1: who is just beginning a relationship and looking for ways
Speaker 1: to navigate for the long haul? Actually, I I'm so
Speaker 1: glad you brought it up, because I want to scream
Speaker 1: it from the rooftops I heard. I saw this post
Speaker 1: on upworthy um a couple of weeks ago, and it
Speaker 1: actually after on the twenty years of marriage, I said,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I wish that I had known this
Speaker 1: sooner or and I need to implement it now. Essentially,
Speaker 1: it said that it was this man or woman talking
Speaker 1: about their relationship and in as a couple, what they
Speaker 1: do is they ask each other do you want comfort
Speaker 1: or solutions? And I feel like and the guy or
Speaker 1: girl said that will save us a fight nine out
Speaker 1: of ten times, because there are so many times when
Speaker 1: you know, I'll tell Ryan something that's bothering me, and
Speaker 1: he'll try to fix it. He'll try to, well, maybe
Speaker 1: maybe you know this person is da da da da,
Speaker 1: maybe we can change it some whatever. He'll try to
Speaker 1: fix it, and I'm like, I don't need fixing. I
Speaker 1: just need you to hear me and give me a
Speaker 1: hug and say it's gonna be okay or whatever, you know.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I'm like I wanted to be fixed because
Speaker 1: I'm on the phone with the customer service age and
Speaker 1: they're not doing what they need to do, you know. So, um,
Speaker 1: I think just asking each other when you're heated, when
Speaker 1: each person is heated, what you need in that moment,
Speaker 1: and then respect what they need and try your best
Speaker 1: to give them what they need. And truly it will
Speaker 1: save so much, um, so much time and and so
Speaker 1: much so many problems. I feel like in your relationship
Speaker 1: if you can just clearly communicate that, it's amazing. I
Speaker 1: feel like I could definitely use that right, I know.
Speaker 1: I mean I literally screenshot at it because I'm like
Speaker 1: I need to remember that. Yeah, that makes perfect sense
Speaker 1: because there's so many times where I'm like venting to
Speaker 1: Ashley and like you said, try to fix it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, not like I know what I need to
Speaker 1: do to fix the issue, it's just I need to
Speaker 1: vent about it because it makes me so angry. But
Speaker 1: it's like I know, like I I know what I
Speaker 1: have to do. I'm just venting. And then so many times, yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree, we'll save a fight because I just get
Speaker 1: annoyed when she's like giving me her opinion on things
Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, no no, no, I know. But then
Speaker 1: other times where I'm asking you for things or if
Speaker 1: I do need an opinion, I think she hesitates because
Speaker 1: she knows that sometimes you know, and it's it's the
Speaker 1: same thing where she's like venting to me and I'm like,
Speaker 1: ash just let's do this and do that, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I like, do you not think that I already know that.
Speaker 1: I'm just I need to get it off my chest.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, never mind, forget I
Speaker 1: said anything. So yeah, I think that's great before. So
Speaker 1: now I'm gonna tell Ashley be like, listen, before we
Speaker 1: talk about things, do you want my opinion or do
Speaker 1: you just want to be heard? That's right, that's great idea.
Speaker 1: I love that. Not not my idea, but I'm happy
Speaker 1: to share it. We'll just pretend I was Trista Sutter's idea.
Speaker 1: Everybody give credit to her out there in the world
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast. Trista, you're awesome. Please tell Clark
Speaker 1: Kent slash Superman. I say hello. I'll never forget when
Speaker 1: I first met you, guys at Tanner and Jay's wedding.
Speaker 1: I saw Ryan. I'm like, this guy is Clark Kent
Speaker 1: because he's wearing glasses. Yeah, he is. That is That's
Speaker 1: what I call him. Sometimes he's Clark. He is Clark,
Speaker 1: and that is awesome. God, that's so cool it I
Speaker 1: do love it. I know Ashley is a big fan
Speaker 1: of Clark and Superman too, so not mine, but Clark
Speaker 1: and super the real one. Oh yeah, I wear a
Speaker 1: flannel just to try. I like to wear a flannel
Speaker 1: with jeans and timber and like brown boots so I
Speaker 1: can feel like Clark on the farm. That's my go
Speaker 1: to look right there. Trista, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining us on podcast. You are amazing and please come
Speaker 1: back soon. Thanking me bye, guys. Well that was great.
Speaker 1: Trista is awesome. It's crazy to me. Like again, everybody
Speaker 1: knows Tristan. Everybody knows Trista's name, Like everybody that comes in,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh yeah, Trista, like the first Like either
Speaker 1: they started watching when Trista was the Bachelorette. They've heard
Speaker 1: of Trista again. I think, is she the most famous
Speaker 1: lead in Bachelor's history? And numbers alone? I think if
Speaker 1: you're just looking at numbers, definitely did she get married
Speaker 1: on TV? I should ask that. Yes, it's in the undown.
Speaker 1: They got paid a million dollars to get married on TV.
Speaker 1: I think they had like twenty million people watching that
Speaker 1: wedding too, that's insane. Her her season was twenty six
Speaker 1: million viewers. Oh wait, yes, that was their wedding. That's insane.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, right here. God, I really should read the
Speaker 1: rundown before espuing nonsense. The Lodge luxury resort in Rancho, California.
Speaker 1: It drew over twenty six million viewers for a three
Speaker 1: hour episode called Trista and Ryan's Wedding. Wow, we crazy?
Speaker 1: I mean getting now like five million viewers the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Yeah more than that? Less than that? Oh god, I know,
Speaker 1: but that's okay, that's okay, that's three million. Okay, A
Speaker 1: big thank you for just a sutter. She is amazing
Speaker 1: for coming on the podcast, Klin, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for being the new co host of this podcast. You're
Speaker 1: awesome and Dean stay safe in Antarctica. I'm sure you'll
Speaker 1: listen to this when you get back, and uh we
Speaker 1: look forward to that, so we'll we'll have the same
Speaker 1: send off because we still suck. Help we suck at
Speaker 1: being newlyweds, so make sure you guys tune in next week.
Speaker 1: We're hopefully we sucked us a little bit less. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck
Speaker 1: at Being Newlyweds, and email us at Newlyweds at I
Speaker 1: heart radio dot com. Make sure to write us a
Speaker 1: review and leave us five stars. We'll see you next time.