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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Good Stuff. I'm Jacob Schick and I'm

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Speaker 1: joined by my co host and wife, Ashley Shick.

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Speaker 2: Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a

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Speaker 2: gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans,

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Speaker 2: first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental

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Speaker 2: and emotional wellness.

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Speaker 3: Through traditional and non traditional therapy. At One Tribe Foundation.

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Speaker 1: We believe everyone has a story to tell, not only

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Speaker 1: about the peaks, but also the valleys they've been through

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Speaker 1: to get them to where they are. To Dick.

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Speaker 2: Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story,

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Speaker 2: to share with us the lessons they've learned that shape

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Speaker 2: who they are and what they're doing to pay it

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Speaker 2: forward and give back.

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Speaker 1: Our mission with this show is to dig deep into

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Speaker 1: our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope

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Speaker 1: and inspiration their story has to offer.

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Speaker 3: We're thrilled you're joining us again.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Good Stuff.

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Speaker 3: Today, we're joined by Randy Thompson.

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Speaker 1: Randy's an actor, father and husband living in Los Angeles,

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Speaker 1: and he's here to tell us the story of how

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Speaker 1: his lifelong dream of scuba diving finally manifested.

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Speaker 2: This episode is a journey of artistic passion, romance, fatherhood,

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Speaker 2: underwater adventure, heartbreaking tragedy, and the power of human connection

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Speaker 2: in the aftermath of great loss.

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Speaker 1: Randy is a student of life who has always been

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Speaker 1: fueled by deep curiosity, and it's an honor to bring

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Speaker 1: you his story.

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Speaker 2: Randy Thompson, thank you so much for joining us here

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Speaker 2: on the Good Stuff.

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Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely we're excited your story today. It's kind of about

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Speaker 2: the intersection of three life paths, fatherhood, acting, and scuba diving,

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Speaker 2: all of which were important to you at a young age.

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Speaker 2: Tell us about where you grew up and how you

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Speaker 2: first started dreaming of scuba diving.

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Speaker 1: So.

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Speaker 4: I grew up in northeast Ohio, in a small town

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Speaker 4: that's directly between Cleveland and Youngstown, but really very rural,

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Speaker 4: about three thousand people total, and was raised by my

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Speaker 4: mom who my dad left when I was about three,

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Speaker 4: and so my mom raised my brother and I until

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Speaker 4: she remarried when I was about ten. And when I

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Speaker 4: was very little, one of my earlier memories is sitting

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Speaker 4: down with my brother on the couch and he had

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Speaker 4: to be maybe four, which I was probably like five

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Speaker 4: five or six, and I was like, okay, Ty, let's

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Speaker 4: talk and he's like, what do we talk about it?

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Speaker 1: I said, let's talk about sharks.

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Speaker 4: And I think I just had like an ocean creature's

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Speaker 4: book on my lap and just like landed on that.

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Speaker 4: But it was my kind of opportunity to like be

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Speaker 4: a teacher to my little brother at that age, I think,

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Speaker 4: and I just walked through that book with him and

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Speaker 4: then it never left me. I was just like super obsessed,

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Speaker 4: specifically with whale sharks. That was always kind of my thing,

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Speaker 4: is that I wanted to see a whale shark in

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Speaker 4: real life. But just the idea of the size of

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Speaker 4: the oceans, how much we knew and didn't know about it,

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Speaker 4: and just kind of all the mystery around it really

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Speaker 4: sparked something in me. I had kind of like a

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Speaker 4: naturally curious mind already, and it was just kind of

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Speaker 4: one of these things like I wanted to be an explorer.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to go to space and wanted to dive

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Speaker 4: in the sea. You know, It's like I wanted to

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Speaker 4: see what was out there kind of at the extreme reaches.

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Speaker 4: Even early on, it was one of those things as

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Speaker 4: a kid, I think that like, I'm somebody who's always

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Speaker 4: had a ton of interests, and I get very obsessed

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Speaker 4: with things, and I have ADHD and so like all

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Speaker 4: of my attention funnels into one pursuit for a bright

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Speaker 4: short time, and then I usually just burn out on

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Speaker 4: it and go on to something else. That was one

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Speaker 4: of those things that kind of kept creeping up for

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Speaker 4: me and kept coming back. Was I'm sure it tied

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Speaker 4: on some level just to like this need to explore

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Speaker 4: and to mine the depths of the mysteries of the world.

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Speaker 4: I got obsessed with space as well. And then there

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Speaker 4: was an image of NASA training their astronauts, I think

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Speaker 4: in Houston, but training them in a pool with divers,

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Speaker 4: and it just kind of blew my mind. Is like

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Speaker 4: this amazing connection of the two.

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Speaker 1: One of my mentors I've heard them say several times,

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Speaker 1: which I'd sell the boys all the time, is like, listen,

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Speaker 1: curiosities often disguised as courage, So do not ever lose that.

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Speaker 1: That's great. We'll be watching a movie or something and

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Speaker 1: we'll be five minutes in and Jackson will ask one

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Speaker 1: thousand questions. We don't know. We just started it too we've.

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Speaker 3: Seen the same amount of information you.

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Speaker 4: Have, but you're like, there are times when I need

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Speaker 4: you to be just a little less curious.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that was another passion of yours as well,

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Speaker 2: is that desire to become a father as we sit here.

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Speaker 1: And talk about it, Yeah, I have this book.

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Speaker 4: It's a book that's like Doctor Seus's character, is called

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Speaker 4: My Book about Me, and it's you know, I am

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Speaker 4: this tall, this is my favorite color. And there's a

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Speaker 4: page that says when I grow up, I want to

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Speaker 4: be And it's just two full pages of all of

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Speaker 4: these options, you know, to give kids a like guidepost.

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Speaker 4: You want to be a plumber, you want to be

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Speaker 4: an electrician, whatever it is. And I had just did

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Speaker 4: like a write in candidate the blank space, just saying

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Speaker 4: a daddy. I think I was seven years old, my

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Speaker 4: mom said when I wrote that. So when my wife

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Speaker 4: and I found out we were going to have our daughter,

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Speaker 4: I took a picture of that and send it to

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Speaker 4: my mom.

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Speaker 1: Just feel like it's happening.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Yeah, I think that part

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Speaker 4: of it for me was kind of not even that

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Speaker 4: I was conscious of this at seven, but I knew

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Speaker 4: that my dad wasn't what I wanted him to be,

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Speaker 4: and that's kind of probably where it ended for me,

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Speaker 4: is that I wanted more from him. And now I

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Speaker 4: can kind of look back and see I was trying

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Speaker 4: to right those wrongs.

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Speaker 1: On some level.

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Speaker 4: I had this idea of, like, I can be a

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Speaker 4: father and do right by my kids in the way

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Speaker 4: that maybe, you know, I wished that my dad was

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Speaker 4: able to do for me.

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Speaker 1: That's beautiful. We end up on the spinning ball of chaos,

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Speaker 1: and if done correctly, we come to the conclusion of

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Speaker 1: we want to leave this better than we found it, right,

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Speaker 1: And I think parenthood is a tremendous way to achieve

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Speaker 1: that goal.

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Speaker 2: Jamison is six and a half and he's already made

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Speaker 2: up his mind that he does don't want children, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm like why, little Baba, and he because children wake

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Speaker 2: you up early? Yeah, And I'm like, pot black, it's

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Speaker 2: airtight logic, it is.

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Speaker 1: And they're so they haven't had enough life experience to

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Speaker 1: be jaded yet, right, And it's such unfiltered just honesty

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Speaker 1: and curiosity, and it's so so magnetic. It's like, man,

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Speaker 1: I just want to hang out with them, like all day,

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Speaker 1: every day because I'm easy.

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Speaker 4: It's easy to see when you or someone else has

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Speaker 4: blunted that a little bit, even in just really small ways,

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Speaker 4: just like moments that I've responded in anger or frustration

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Speaker 4: at something. That's a moment when like my daughter comes

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Speaker 4: to me with kind of an open heart and open curiosity,

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Speaker 4: and for whatever reason, either the timing or the way

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Speaker 4: she's expressing or whatever, I respond in frustration and I

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Speaker 4: see just like a fraction of that spark start to flicker,

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Speaker 4: and I think that it's we're not going to be perfect,

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Speaker 4: We're going to screw it up a million times. But

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Speaker 4: to me, it's a good kind of reminder whenever that

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Speaker 4: happens of just what we're actually dealing with here.

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Speaker 1: You know, we're dealing with.

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Speaker 4: A very pure lens to look through the world, and

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Speaker 4: we're trying our best to just like do as much

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Speaker 4: as we can to keep it that way, or at

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Speaker 4: least encourage it.

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Speaker 2: I think, how did your path lead you from smalltown

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Speaker 2: Ohio to the big Los Angeles?

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Speaker 4: So I developed a passion for acting, and I decided

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Speaker 4: that's what I wanted to pursue with my life. In

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Speaker 4: elementary or middle school, I had seen a production that

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Speaker 4: kind of inspired me and showed me that this was

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Speaker 4: something that could really change people's lives. I mean, it

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Speaker 4: was just being inside of a theater in absolute silence

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Speaker 4: and watching all of these people just riveted and people

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Speaker 4: are crying, and I'm just feeling all these incredibly massive

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Speaker 4: things that I hadn't really expected.

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Speaker 1: It was an eye.

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Speaker 4: Opening experience for me, and it led me to this

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Speaker 4: idea that I really wanted to pursue acting on some level,

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Speaker 4: and so I ended up going to New York. I

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Speaker 4: studied at NYU for four years for my undergraduate and

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Speaker 4: then stayed in New York for about ten years, and

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Speaker 4: I did pursue acting there. My wife and I ended

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Speaker 4: up getting cast opposite each other in a play, so

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Speaker 4: that's the first time we met, was getting cast, and

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Speaker 4: we just became best friends and we were just kind

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Speaker 4: of obsessed with each other for a year, even though

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Speaker 4: we're I was in a long term relationship at the time,

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Speaker 4: she was just getting out of a relationship, and we

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Speaker 4: were just really intense friends. We wanted to hang out

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Speaker 4: all the time. There was nothing, as far as I

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Speaker 4: could tell, romantic about it. Until all of a sudden

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Speaker 4: it became very clear to me like, oh, I'm in

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Speaker 4: love with this person. So I was honest with my

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Speaker 4: partner and we ended that relationship and I started this one.

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Speaker 4: And then my wife, about six months after we started dating,

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Speaker 4: got into grad school in California, and she had already

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Speaker 4: been applying before we were ever in our relationship, and

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Speaker 4: so we decided, because I really loved living in New York,

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Speaker 4: we were going to do long distance. She was going

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Speaker 4: to be in California for a couple of years, I'd

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Speaker 4: be in New York. And after about five or six

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Speaker 4: months of that, we were just like, I don't want

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Speaker 4: to do anything other than be where you are. Everything

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Speaker 4: else kind of lost its luster, and I was just like,

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Speaker 4: if this means setting aside other dreams that I have

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Speaker 4: right now, my number one goal is to not I

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Speaker 4: don't mean to say settle in terms of any kind

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Speaker 4: of negativity towards my ex, but I had taken on

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Speaker 4: certain opinions about the rest of my life that I

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Speaker 4: was just like, it's going to be this at this level,

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Speaker 4: and that's going to be fine, and maybe some years

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Speaker 4: down the line will have kids, and maybe some years

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Speaker 4: down the line will get a divorce. And that was

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Speaker 4: part of my thinking of my future was just like,

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Speaker 4: this is inevitably what's going to happen. Because I had

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Speaker 4: become very comfortable in this life that we built, and

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Speaker 4: then I met Beth and I was just like, I

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Speaker 4: can't not be with this person. I can't say to

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Speaker 4: the rest of my life, Oh, it's going to be fine.

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Speaker 4: Knowing that this person and this feeling that I have

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Speaker 4: about this person is out there for me, it was

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Speaker 4: the most important thing to shape our lives in a

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Speaker 4: way that we could be with each other. And so

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Speaker 4: I moved with this expectation that I was going to

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Speaker 4: still be able to pursue acting in LA.

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Speaker 3: That is amazing, What a beautiful story.

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Speaker 4: Well thanks, Yeah. We talk a lot about these moments

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Speaker 4: of crossroads that you always have in your life where

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Speaker 4: you can look.

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Speaker 1: Back and see like, oh, I see these.

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Speaker 4: Sliding doors moments I took a right instead of a left,

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Speaker 4: and there it was, and with her, it was one

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Speaker 4: of the very small handful of moments where you're in

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Speaker 4: the crossroads and realizing that you're there. I could see

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Speaker 4: my life was either going to take a hard left

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Speaker 4: or a hard right, but it couldn't stay the same.

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Speaker 4: I can say where we are right now. It's just

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Speaker 4: been the best decision I've ever made in my life.

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Speaker 1: Way to go with your gut and follow intuition. It's

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Speaker 1: like I tell people all the time everything we want

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Speaker 1: on the other side.

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Speaker 2: Of our fear knowing that being a father, becoming a

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Speaker 2: father was so important to you, did y'all decide to

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Speaker 2: start a family earlier?

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Speaker 4: We talked about it pretty early on in our relationship.

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Speaker 4: I think we both kind of knew deep down this

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Speaker 4: was the person. We had a feeling we would get married.

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Speaker 4: And Beth has said since she knew almost immediately after

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Speaker 4: we started dating that she wanted to be married to me,

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Speaker 4: and that she wanted to have kids with me, and

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Speaker 4: that it wasn't this lifelong dream that she was like,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to have this kind of wedding and I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna have this number of kids, But really that when

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Speaker 4: we met each other, we knew this is the person

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Speaker 4: who I wanted to share this with.

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Speaker 1: This is the person I want to go on that

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Speaker 1: journey with.

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Speaker 4: We were married like two and a half to three

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Speaker 4: years and just decided it was a good time. We

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Speaker 4: were both in a good place with our careers and life.

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Speaker 4: We wanted to at least get started in the process,

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Speaker 4: and we didn't have any expectations that we were going

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Speaker 4: to get pregnant right away, but we didn't want to

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Speaker 4: delay it anymore, just with both of us were kind

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Speaker 4: of getting started a little bit later than a lot

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Speaker 4: of people do. I wouldn't say late in life, even

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Speaker 4: though the medical term is like what geriatric pregnancy is

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Speaker 4: like thirty two were something ridiculous like that. It's so stupid.

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Speaker 4: It just it means nothing. But you know, we were

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Speaker 4: anxious to kind of start the next chapter. And it

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Speaker 4: took us a long time. Took us a total of

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Speaker 4: about two and a half years, with about five losses

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Speaker 4: of pregnancy throughout at various stages, so a couple that

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Speaker 4: were really early and then a couple were not really early,

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Speaker 4: and it just, it truly was the hardest thing I

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Speaker 4: think that either of us has ever done. Maybe still

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Speaker 4: it just it tested us in such a profound way

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Speaker 4: because for a lot of people I think, who have

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Speaker 4: gone through miscarriages or pregnancy losses, there's at least in

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Speaker 4: the early stage. For us, we felt very private about it.

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Speaker 4: I know my wife in particular was having a really

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Speaker 4: hard time with just battling the concept of there's something

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Speaker 4: wrong with us or something wrong with me, or something

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Speaker 4: wrong with her physically. You know, it's just these kind

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Speaker 4: of little things that are just chipping away at you

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Speaker 4: and for our relationship, so much of this became task

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Speaker 4: orient or goal oriented, where we're trying to get to

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Speaker 4: this place and so we have to do X, Y

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Speaker 4: and Z, and it's just about checking boxes off and

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Speaker 4: just putting our heads down and going through it. And

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Speaker 4: also we had moments where it was difficult for either

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Speaker 4: of us to be there for the other person in

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Speaker 4: the way that each of us needed. I think both

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Speaker 4: of us maybe we're speaking to therapists at the time,

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Speaker 4: but it just, you know, there's moments where you're both

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Speaker 4: just so low, and it's like there are times where

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Speaker 4: she's down and I can pick her up and vice versa.

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Speaker 4: And then there were times where we're both just kind

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Speaker 4: of done and just so low about all of it.

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Speaker 4: And at various times we thought, Okay, we're done, we're

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Speaker 4: not going to try, we're just not meant to have

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Speaker 4: biological children, and then laid in the game, someone else

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Speaker 4: kind of helped us see that. Every time we got

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Speaker 4: a positive pregnancy test. That is something to celebrate, It

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Speaker 4: is something to be We invest in the joy of

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Speaker 4: that moment, even if that means in two weeks this

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Speaker 4: is going to crush us, because grieving for a potential

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Speaker 4: loss was never going to help soften that loss. It

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Speaker 4: was always going to be horrible. So why not take

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Speaker 4: this moment now to just be so excited and happy

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Speaker 4: that we made it this far. And so we did that,

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Speaker 4: and luckily, a couple weeks later she was still pregnant.

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Speaker 4: And then a couple weeks later we had some tests

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Speaker 4: done and everything looked pretty good, and then it just

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Speaker 4: kind of, you know, the good news kept on stacking,

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Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden, she's nine months and

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Speaker 4: almost a day before she's due and it's time, and

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Speaker 4: it just was like, looking back on that now, it's

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Speaker 4: just it feels like it happened to two different people.

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Speaker 4: It's so hard to put myself back in that mindset

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Speaker 4: of when all that was going on. But at the time,

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Speaker 4: and it was, it was all consuming, it was our

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Speaker 4: whole entire lives. Maybe about a year into it, we

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Speaker 4: started feeling like we could talk to other people about it,

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Speaker 4: and there's this shame of around it that I don't

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Speaker 4: even know where it came from. It's like we came

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Speaker 4: from two incredibly loving, supportive parents who just didn't pressure

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Speaker 4: us at all about having kids. It wasn't like our

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Speaker 4: moms were sitting there being like Wenesday, when are you

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Speaker 4: gonna give me a friend of time. It didn't happen,

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Speaker 4: and so it just felt like it just was there,

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Speaker 4: and we felt like I don't own enough of a

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Speaker 4: sob story to be able to talk to somebody else

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Speaker 4: about this. You know, I have friends who had, from

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Speaker 4: the outside seemingly so much harder journeys with getting pregnant,

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Speaker 4: and so we always felt very much like, there's nothing wrong,

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Speaker 4: it's just taking a long time. Let's just kind of

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Speaker 4: keep it to ourselves. And then over time we started

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Speaker 4: speaking to more and more people, and it was just

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Speaker 4: shocking how many women in our lives, very close family members,

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Speaker 4: very close friends, who had gone through this exact same

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Speaker 4: thing or similar things and never talk to us about it.

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Speaker 4: And it's just like there's just not a mechanism other

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Speaker 4: than a podcast about going through ourd stuff, but there's

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Speaker 4: just not as much of a societal mechanism to talk

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Speaker 4: about hardshit in the same way. And I think that there,

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Speaker 4: especially for something that is very personally traumatic but from

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Speaker 4: the outside seems like, oh, well, everybody's gone through this.

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Speaker 4: It was so hard for us not to judge ourselves

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Speaker 4: on this theoretical hierarchy of trauma.

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Speaker 2: And then feel the release when you find out there's

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Speaker 2: so many others out there that have been the same

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Speaker 2: thing exactly one.

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Speaker 1: And the fact that you guys had the courage to say, hey,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna keep going. Yeah, we're gonna stay committed. And

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Speaker 1: like you said, it's very routine. You got in a

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Speaker 1: routine and it's just proved positive too that celebrate and

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Speaker 1: be completely present regardless of the past. Totally, that's it.

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Speaker 1: And the fact that you guys were able to get

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Speaker 1: to that point, not to say there weren't hard days.

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Speaker 1: Those are guaranteed right even now of course even now, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's life. Yeah, but it's a beautiful thing, man,

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Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing that you guys were able. And

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Speaker 1: not to say that you never had an argument or

356
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Speaker 1: got into it about it, because we know you're not unicorns,

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Speaker 1: but the fact that at the end of the day

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Speaker 1: you're both still here present to beautiful kids. Yeah, I mean,

359
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Speaker 1: was the risk worth the reward?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent was. And I think that you

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Speaker 4: look at your kids too, and we talk all the

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Speaker 4: time about the concept of traveling back in time, and

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Speaker 4: it's just like, there's nothing that I would redo because

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Speaker 4: I've now met these two kids who are just there.

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Speaker 4: Only existence is due to every other decision, every other

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Speaker 4: moment that happened before that, and so it just feels like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: of course it was worth it, because I would do

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Speaker 4: that one hundred times and one hundred times worse to

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Speaker 4: get to these two kids.

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Speaker 1: It's the biggest, most undescribable blessing in the world.

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Speaker 2: So you were able to accomplish that goal, that desire

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Speaker 2: that you'd always had to be a father. So to

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Speaker 2: bring it back to scuba diving when you got out

374
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Speaker 2: to California, was this something you also pursued like.

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Speaker 4: Everything else, especially when you're the parent of a small

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Speaker 4: child who just I immediately went into the trash heap

377
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Speaker 4: of like dreams that I have and I'll just revisit

378
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Speaker 4: those when I'm retired. For my fortieth birthday, my brother

379
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Speaker 4: in law, really he was the inspiration to get the

380
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,680
Speaker 4: whole family to basically all contribute and get me a

381
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Speaker 4: first level certification for diving, because there's a dive shop

382
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Speaker 4: fifteen minutes away from my house and they dive twenty

383
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Speaker 4: minutes away from my house. And I'm just like, I've

384
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Speaker 4: been living in California now for almost ten years and

385
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,560
Speaker 4: never even just like gave it a second thought of

386
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Speaker 4: like this thing that I always wanted to do. That

387
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 4: for several hundred dollars and a weekend, basically you could

388
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Speaker 4: just like check that dream off and make it a reality.

389
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Speaker 4: Now I look back, I'm.

390
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Speaker 1: Like, what going to be like a ten year diver.

391
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Speaker 4: So they got me that gift certificate and it was,

392
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Speaker 4: of course in the middle of the pandemic. Finally I

393
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 4: was just like, I need to take the time and

394
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Speaker 4: just do this. I mean, I just I need to

395
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 4: devote two weekends to myself. You know, we got help

396
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Speaker 4: with the kids, and I just went off and made

397
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Speaker 4: it a reality. And it was right away one of

398
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Speaker 4: the most amazing and difficult things that I had ever

399
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:22,239
Speaker 4: done because I was so bad at it and just

400
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 4: balancing all over the place even in the pool. On

401
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,199
Speaker 4: the first time. They basically like, have you put your

402
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 4: face in the water, and then they have you kneel

403
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 4: on the bottom and do these skills that are just

404
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 4: basically are just kneeling in six feet of water in

405
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,120
Speaker 4: a pool, and I'm flopping back and forth. Everyone else

406
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,120
Speaker 4: in the class is just like stock still, and I'm

407
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 4: like looking around at these people, just being like, I'm

408
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,120
Speaker 4: always good at things, why am I so.

409
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Speaker 1: Bad at this?

410
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 4: And I, rather than discourage me, I was just like,

411
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 4: I'm gonna fucking get better at this thing. I'm going

412
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 4: to train, I'm going to make this a skill set

413
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Speaker 4: that I have. And so I kept doing it and

414
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 4: kept doing it. And they have a dive club that

415
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,199
Speaker 4: they meet for just group dives where they'll all go

416
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 4: over to Redondo Beach here and go down on these

417
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 4: night dives. And I right away I was just like,

418
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 4: that's terrifying. I will never do a night dive. That's horrific.

419
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,239
Speaker 4: Why would you dive at night in the blackness? And

420
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 4: then I was probably diving for like a month and

421
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Speaker 4: a half. Then I was like, I want to try

422
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 4: that night, and I went and I was super overwhelmed.

423
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Speaker 4: And I'm not a great swimmer, which diving obvious choice.

424
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 4: I like was getting just like battered by the waves

425
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:35,440
Speaker 4: and swallowing saltwater, and I just was like near panic, basically,

426
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Speaker 4: And I had an instructor who was nearby at the time,

427
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 4: who basically was shepherding me, and we went down. I

428
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 4: couldn't make it work. He basically called the dive, and

429
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 4: then afterwards was like you and me, next weekend, just

430
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 4: the two of us were going to go out. We're

431
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,120
Speaker 4: going to make this work. And so we went out

432
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 4: and it was just watching him. Everything was calm, nothing

433
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 4: was a problem. Everything was just like, slow it down.

434
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 4: You're trying to basically rush through this thing and force

435
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 4: your way into being good at it, and what you

436
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 4: need to do is take a step back and go slow,

437
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 4: and that's all you really need to do. And literally,

438
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 4: I just like making that shift. Took a step back,

439
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 4: started going slow. It changed everything for me. We had

440
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 4: this amazing dive. We saw a ton of octopus, which

441
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 4: are like some of my favorite animals, all of these

442
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 4: amazing fish, and it's just diving at night. For anyone

443
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 4: who hasn't done it, I think it can carry an

444
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 4: air of just like the Black Ocean, which is nearly infinite,

445
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 4: is out there filled with massive things that want to

446
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 4: eat you and you can't see any of them, and

447
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 4: you're just going to carry this little flashlight around and

448
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 4: be like, I'm fine. And the first time we did that,

449
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 4: that's exactly what it felt like. And then for a

450
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 4: lot of people who like to camp or anything like that,

451
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 4: if you go for walks in the woods at night

452
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 4: and you have this pool of light around you and

453
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 4: you just kind of that's your whole world. If you

454
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 4: sit there and obsess about what it is one hundred

455
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,199
Speaker 4: feet in that direction, then you're not going to do anything.

456
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,479
Speaker 4: And so it was just like helping me to kind

457
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 4: of be present, be in the moment, focus on this

458
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 4: pool of light that is my whole world, and just it.

459
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 1: It was so magical. I mean you just.

460
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 4: See in this exact same site that I trained on

461
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 4: that you dive and you see maybe one or two

462
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 4: fish in a bunch of sand. It's just teeming. I mean,

463
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 4: it is just alive at night, and it was everything

464
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 4: I had been looking for. I mean, it just is

465
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 4: this like solitude, peaceful news, extreme quiet, and also just

466
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 4: things that very few people on this planet get to

467
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 4: see on a daily basis.

468
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, let's wrap this up so we can

469
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: go dough Yeah, yeah.

470
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell us about now you finally checked this box

471
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 2: of scuba diving and you absolutely love it. Yeah, and

472
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 2: you found this piece in it you had a situation

473
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 2: happen that changed you.

474
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 4: Yeah. Like I said, I knew that I wanted to

475
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 4: get better at it. I knew I wanted to train more.

476
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 4: So I enrolled in the advanced class and I had

477
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 4: an amazing instructor, really nice group of people that was

478
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 4: I think there were six of us, six or seven

479
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 4: of us, and there was this one guy in the

480
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 4: group who was a little bit older than the rest

481
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 4: of us, and he drove me crazy.

482
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 1: We would like have.

483
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 4: Our first day and then we went out to drinks

484
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 4: with the instructor and it was just like we would

485
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 4: ask him questions about, oh, you dove in Utila, what

486
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 4: was that like? And before he could even start talking,

487
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 4: this guy who call h Mark would just jumped in

488
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 4: and like, well, I'm thinking of traveling here, and what

489
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 4: is Japan and like all this stuff, and it was

490
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 4: just firing question after question, always about himself, always about

491
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 4: stuff that wasn't germane to the whatever we were talking about.

492
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 4: And I was just like this I can't stand this, dude,

493
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 4: I need to like, So we got on the boat.

494
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 4: We actually separated into two groups.

495
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 1: I did my.

496
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 4: Advance, I got that certification. I was just like, good,

497
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 4: I'm done. I'm just going to dive now. And then

498
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 4: we'd done a couple night dives after that, and there

499
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 4: was this one day that I wasn't going to be

500
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 4: able to go something with the kids, like was going

501
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 4: to delay me. And it was just one of those

502
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 4: things that like now I look back and like all

503
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 4: along the way, I was just like, I'm not going

504
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 4: to do this.

505
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it.

506
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 4: It's just like a reason kept creeping up for me

507
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 4: not to do it. And then I was just like,

508
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 4: fucking I really want to dive. I'm going to go

509
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 4: do this. So I went up and when I get there,

510
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 4: there's a group that's already kind of geared up, like

511
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 4: finishing up their process, and then him and this guy

512
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 4: Mark and the instructor and then this guy who I

513
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,439
Speaker 4: was just like you walking up obviously it had to

514
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 4: be and so and I walk up to the instructor

515
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 4: and say hi, and he was like, well, there this

516
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 4: other group is getting ready to go out and they're

517
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 4: all dive masters and hire, so they're pretty experienced. He's like,

518
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 4: if you want to dive with them, you can go

519
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 4: with them, or you can stick with us. We're just

520
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 4: going to kind of do a tour with this guy Mark,

521
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 4: and I in my head said to myself, you need

522
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 4: to be a better person here. You need to open

523
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 4: yourself up to the possibility that this guy's not just

524
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 4: a dick. Yes, he's annoying, whatever, Maybe learn something about him.

525
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 4: Don't immediately just place him into the I'm done with

526
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,360
Speaker 4: you box. And so I decided to dive with them.

527
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 4: So I geared up. We go and we discuss the

528
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 4: dive plan. And when people dive there, I would say

529
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 4: they stay around like sixty to eighty feet of depth,

530
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 4: so deep, but not when you're diving, that's not really

531
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 4: anything out of the ordinary. Sixty is is very common.

532
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 4: So we decided to go a little bit deeper because

533
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 4: the sky Mark had never been that deep. I think

534
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 4: he had done a night dive before. Anyway, we're going

535
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 4: out and we're all kind of fighting current and breathing

536
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 4: a little heavy, and when you're doing that, you're going

537
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 4: through your air quicker, and then physics comes into play.

538
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 4: When you're the deeper you go the faster, your error

539
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 4: is consumed because it gets compressed. And so the instructor

540
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 4: was checking our air periodically and it was basically Mark,

541
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 4: then the instructor, and then me at the back. And

542
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 4: I felt very comfortable and I was just happy to

543
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 4: kind of trail. So we're diving and we got pretty deep.

544
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 4: I think we got to around a hundred feet and

545
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 4: the instructor turns around and gives me the sign for

546
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 4: my air and I tell em I check, and it

547
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,959
Speaker 4: was on the lower side, but not anywhere kind of

548
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 4: in a risk zone. And I see him turn to

549
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,239
Speaker 4: Mark and ask him what his air level is. And

550
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 4: because of the visibility in your lights, I could see

551
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 4: that that was happening. I couldn't see a call in

552
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 4: response or anything like that. So he turns back to

553
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 4: me and immediately signals for a safety stop, which means

554
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 4: you ascend to a safe depth, usually twenty to fifteen feet,

555
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 4: and you hang there for three minutes. And that just

556
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 4: allows the nitrogen that your body's on gas to dissipate. Basically,

557
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 4: you do that to allow all of those gas bubbles

558
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 4: to come out of your tissues so they don't get

559
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 4: absorbed into your bloodstream and go to your brain or your.

560
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: Cause real problems.

561
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 4: So I see HIMND signal that we're ascending to a

562
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 4: safety stop, and immediately I know that something's not right,

563
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 4: because the plan was go out to that depth, turn around,

564
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 4: gradually swim up the slope so that as we're going shallower,

565
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,919
Speaker 4: that processes happen by itself, and it's a much safer

566
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 4: way to dive. Ascending at one hundred feet is a

567
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 4: little bit complicated. You have to be really careful of

568
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 4: your buoyancy because as you get shallower, you speed up too,

569
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 4: so you have to basically compensate for the physics wanting

570
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 4: to propel you to the surface. And it's night, so

571
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 4: it's in pitch black. You know, you have no visual

572
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,719
Speaker 4: reference for any of that, so you're just staring at

573
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 4: your gauges. And basically I knew something was up, but

574
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 4: I didn't know what. And I see he starts to

575
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 4: ascend for a safety stop. I start looking at my

576
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 4: gauges and I'm ascending for my safety stop, and I'm

577
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 4: going very slowly because I'm terrified. It's so easy when

578
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 4: you're a new diver to just blow past that safety

579
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 4: stop and you're out of control. I mean, there's just

580
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 4: things that can happen to you. You can have an embolism,

581
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 4: so your lungs would basically explode because you're holding on

582
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 4: this gas that's expanding inside your body. Those nitrogen bubbles

583
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 4: can get absorbed into your bloodstream and can cause real issues.

584
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 4: There's a lot that can go wrong that is drilled

585
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 4: into you from day one about safety stops, maintaining your buoyancy,

586
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 4: and not rocketing to the surface. So basically, all that

587
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 4: is to say, we're ascending very slowly, and I can

588
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 4: see the instructor on my side, and I'm kind of

589
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 4: going up and up, and I hit my safety stop.

590
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 4: I do my safety stop, and then I go to

591
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 4: the surface and the instructor's on the surface and he's like,

592
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 4: where's Mark, And I said, I don't know. I thought

593
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 4: he was with you. And he's just looking around, screaming

594
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 4: his name. And I look out a little bit out

595
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 4: to see I would say, maybe one hundred yards or so,

596
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 4: and I can see his dive light, just a green

597
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 4: tank marker light floating on the surface, and so we

598
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 4: yell Mark, Mark, Mark, and he immediately yells back. Hey, like, okay,

599
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 4: swim over to us. We're like, oh, thank god I didn't.

600
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 4: He was like, what happened? I said, I don't know.

601
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 4: You signal for the safety stop? What hey? He's like yeah,

602
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 4: I checked Mark's air and he was extremely low on air.

603
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 4: So we're sitting there talking and I'm looking and you know,

604
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 4: you're bobbing up and down, and it's night so you

605
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 4: can't really see anything but the light, and I notice

606
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 4: it's staying a decent distance away and yell at him again, hey,

607
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 4: come over to here. He's like, okay, got it, and

608
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 4: then is not really moving, and so the instructor says

609
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 4: to me, let's swim over to him, just make sure

610
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 4: that everything's okay. So we start swimming. We get over

611
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 4: there and he's face up, eyes closed, looking like he's sleeping.

612
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 4: And I thought he was just messing with us. So

613
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 4: then the instructor, who's also a doctor, immediately recognized that

614
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 4: something was up, starts trying to revive him, yelling his name,

615
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 4: and then turns to me and says, I'm going to

616
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 4: do rescue brats. I'm going to swim him into the shore.

617
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 4: I need you to get to the shore as fast

618
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 4: as you can and get help. And so I just

619
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 4: take off and start booking it. And I'm not a

620
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 4: good strong swimmer, and I've had very little experience swimming

621
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 4: like intensely to try to get help, and so I'm

622
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 4: just let alone in the night, right Yeah. Yeah, So

623
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 4: I'm just like adrenaline is firing. I am just as

624
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 4: everything that I have I am putting into swimming to

625
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 4: shore to get help as quickly as I can. And

626
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 4: we're probably a good two hundred two hundred fifty yards

627
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 4: off shore. It was a decent distance, and we get

628
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 4: maybe I would say I'm about fifty yards away, and

629
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 4: I start realizing that if I have a problem as

630
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 4: I get out, I am not going to be able

631
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 4: to solve that. I'm going to get knocked under and

632
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 4: I'm going to drown. And so I took a second

633
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 4: just to steady myself and just like focus in, slow down,

634
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 4: and say, okay, here's what I need to do to

635
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 4: get out safely. So I start and then I see

636
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 4: a light near me and this other group of divers

637
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 4: that had gone out just before us. They surface and

638
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 4: I yell marks in trouble, and here's what's happening. And

639
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 4: kind of give them a quick I need you to

640
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 4: get to shore to get nine to one one. So

641
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 4: one of the divers immediately goes to shore.

642
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: The other two.

643
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 4: Divers, one of whom is also a doctor, start swimming

644
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 4: out to where the instructor is trying to swim mark in.

645
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 4: I get to shore as well, get all my stuff off,

646
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 4: start running up to the stairs. I get to my phone,

647
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 4: I call nine to one one. They're like, we've been alerted.

648
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 4: Rescues on the way. And as I come back down

649
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 4: the stairs, I can already see the fire department ambulance

650
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 4: on the beach coming up and they're just getting to

651
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 4: the shore dragging him out of the water. And so

652
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 4: by the time they got him onto the shore, EMTs

653
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 4: were already there, firefighters were already there. They were working

654
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 4: on reviving him. And then we stuck around for maybe

655
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 4: an hour, had conversations with the Sheriff's apartment. They arrived

656
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 4: to start an investigation to figure out what happened, and

657
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 4: then they leave. The fire department ambulance leaves and they say, hey,

658
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 4: we were just let you know we were able to

659
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 4: get a pulse, so we just all immediate relief. Just

660
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 4: thank God, obviously something's hopefully he's going to be okay. Yeah,

661
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 4: So the next day I had a tattoo appointment. I

662
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 4: was getting this massive octopus tattoo to commemorate this milestone

663
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 4: that I achieved, finally getting this advance and really just

664
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 4: like marking this time in my life. And I'm driving

665
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 4: on the way to the appointment because I decided I'm

666
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 4: still going to get it. Obviously this happened, This was scary,

667
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 4: but it's a nice kind of tie in too to

668
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 4: remember that. And I got a text on the way saying, Hey,

669
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 4: I just want you to know Mark passed away.

670
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: They were never able to get him revived.

671
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 4: And I just lost it. I mean I was in

672
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 4: my car, I pulled over and just was just shaking

673
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 4: and wasn't even really crying as much as just kind

674
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 4: of like all of this adrenaline emotion just dumping. And

675
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 4: I decided to go through with this tattoo. And it's

676
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 4: you know, this is like a two day, five hours

677
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 4: at a time, big kind of a thing. And it

678
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 4: was super therapeutic because I just sat there and thought.

679
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 4: But at the same time, I'm just replaying this event

680
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 4: over and over again in my head. Of every single

681
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 4: minute of every moment. Why did I dive with them,

682
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 4: Why didn't I do this differently? Why didn't I check

683
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 4: his air? You know, all of this stuff, and just

684
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 4: beating myself up about it. And then they scheduled a

685
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 4: memorial for the next day on the beach of Vigil,

686
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 4: basically to kind of have our whole community to come together.

687
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 4: And his wife was there, and I knew she was

688
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 4: going to be there, and they had kind of given

689
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 4: me a heads up saying this is going to happen,

690
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 4: and so I was really nervous about even being there,

691
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 4: but I wanted to apologize for her naturally, bro yeah, yeah,

692
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 4: And I wanted to tell her I was sorry and

693
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 4: that answer questions I guess if she had any. And

694
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 4: someone introduced us, and she immediately just like grabbed me

695
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:28,719
Speaker 4: and hugged me and was just like the first thing

696
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 4: she said was thank you for bringing him back to me,

697
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 4: and just I just lost it and it was like

698
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 4: it was more than anything that this woman who lost

699
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 4: her husband less than twenty four hours ago was already

700
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 4: like taken care of me in that way, already able

701
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 4: to see some sliver of hope out of this event.

702
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 4: Some part of it that wasn't horrible, and so we

703
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 4: just like cried together and we, you know, all kind

704
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 4: of had this little storytelling circle where we talked about

705
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 4: him and had dinner and drinks and went home. And

706
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 4: in the end, you know, after an entire investigation of

707
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 4: how it all happened and an autopsy and everything, the

708
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 4: answers that we have were that there is nothing that

709
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,320
Speaker 4: any of us could have done. What we assume happened

710
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 4: is that he had a panic event and shot to

711
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 4: the surface from one hundred feet and as we know,

712
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 4: that can reak havoc on your body. And so, you know,

713
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 4: knowing that now, it's still hard not to feel guilty,

714
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 4: it's still hard not to be like I could have

715
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 4: checked his air ten minutes before that and known that

716
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 4: he was low, and we could have turned around. And yes,

717
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,840
Speaker 4: all of that's true. But at the same time, we

718
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 4: all have to be responsible for ourselves. We have to

719
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,839
Speaker 4: be responsible for our own actions. And all I can

720
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 4: do is know, now, moving forward, what are these little

721
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,720
Speaker 4: tiny steps I could make that can solve small problems

722
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 4: so they don't become bigger problems. And so it inspired

723
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 4: me to go on to rescue diver and now dive

724
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:04,800
Speaker 4: mass and be able to train, be able to render

725
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 4: more aid to people, and also just to recommit myself

726
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 4: to not allowing kind of a box to be checked

727
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 4: and say like, okay that I'm done, I got it advanced,

728
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 4: I'm done. I don't need to train anymore. And even

729
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 4: I don't think I ever really believed that I was

730
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 4: a master of this thing. I don't feel like I'm

731
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 4: a master of anything, but I felt like I'm good enough,

732
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 4: It's fine, let's move on to the next thing. And

733
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 4: it really just kind of woke me up of you

734
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 4: are engaging in an activity in a non life supporting environment,

735
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 4: so the things that can go wrong go really wrong,

736
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 4: really fast, and it's just a matter of kind of

737
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 4: being aware of those things and taking what steps you

738
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 4: can on the way to be better.

739
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 3: I want to know, what did you do to take

740
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:51,760
Speaker 3: care of your mental state?

741
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: Yeah?

742
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 4: I mean I come from a very it's not a

743
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 4: stoic family, but I'm from the Midwest, Like you just

744
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 4: kind of shove your problems down and smile and be

745
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 4: nice to everybody, and you take care.

746
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 3: Of yourself like this South Sound, Texas.

747
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I knew that something was up. I thought

748
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 4: I was managing it pretty well, and then I think

749
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,800
Speaker 4: my son did something really innocuous that he's done a

750
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 4: million times before, like dropping a fork while he was

751
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 4: eating or something. This is at the time, he was

752
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 4: probably like one and a half.

753
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: I think six and a half. It still happens.

754
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 4: Oh God, why, I just want to leave them with

755
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 4: like a bowl of food and be like, you just

756
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 4: take care of But he did something super innocuous, and

757
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 4: I just I my level of rage that fueled up

758
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 4: shocked me. And I didn't blow up at him. I

759
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 4: think I got up and I left the room and

760
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 4: went to the kitchen. And parenting can be incredibly frustrating

761
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 4: a lot of times, but this response that I was having,

762
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 4: my heart was racing. I was just angry and ready

763
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 4: to just scream at this baby. And I was like, Okay,

764
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 4: something's up and I need to deal with this. I

765
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 4: am clearly responding to this traumatic event and I needed

766
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 4: to talk to someone. And I've been in therapy before.

767
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 4: I have very pro therapy across the board for everyone forever,

768
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 4: but for myself. Thank God for that though, right Yeah,

769
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 4: because to me, there wasn't a stigma attached to it,

770
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 4: and I was able to very quickly be like, you

771
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 4: need help, and the outside voice, the same one that

772
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 4: started firing when Nick was saying, do you want to

773
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 4: be a guest on this podcast? My outside voice was, well,

774
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 4: I haven't been through anything. None of this is interesting,

775
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 4: there's nothing to talk about. Really was happening. Then, it's

776
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 4: just like this didn't happen to you. This woman just

777
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 4: lost her husband, these kids just lost their father. They're

778
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 4: experiencing trauma. You had a hard day and saw somebody

779
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 4: have a hard time. But I was able to step

780
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 4: back from that and recognize that that's a liar and

781
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 4: that boss is not helpful. And so I reached out

782
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 4: to a bunch of people who specialized in trauma recovery,

783
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 4: and so I met with a therapist who's dealt with

784
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 4: a lot of people who have been through all kinds

785
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 4: of different trauma. We worked through a technique called EMDR.

786
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 4: For me, was a really effective way of kind of

787
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 4: processing this event. And also, weirdly, when the Sheriff's department

788
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 4: investigator called me to talk through it and basically walk

789
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 4: through step by step, that was so therapeutic to me

790
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 4: because I was able to just break it all down

791
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,239
Speaker 4: and work through all of it step by step. And

792
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 4: my stepdad's a he's a former share deputy and then

793
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 4: a detective, and he was actually at my house. He

794
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 4: was in town staying with me when I was on

795
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 4: that time. So oh, I came home and he's the

796
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 4: first person I talked to, and it was one in

797
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 4: the morning. I was able to just immediately kind of

798
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,480
Speaker 4: do this dump with him, and he's seen a lot

799
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 4: and was able to kind of help me walk through

800
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,320
Speaker 4: it in the moment. So talking to the other sheriff's

801
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 4: investigator and then talking through with this therapist was game

802
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 4: changing for me because I was able to really work

803
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 4: through all the things that happened. I was able to

804
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 4: give it its weight, to acknowledge that it had affected

805
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 4: me in the way that it had been, and also

806
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 4: just clued me into moments of just like, yeah, even

807
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 4: when you think that you're fine and you're managing it,

808
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 4: my wife knew that I wasn't. My kids knew that

809
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 4: I wasn't like I was a different person than they

810
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 4: had seen the day before. And I wasn't throwing things.

811
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 4: I wasn't punching holes in walls or anything that you

812
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 4: kind of see on TV is like this response yeah

813
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 4: or whatever, Yeah, right exactly.

814
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: And that's the thing is, it's like when you're describing

815
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 1: the heart rate and adrenaline and it's like, yeah, that's

816
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: supposed to extress. That's what that is, right, right. You know,

817
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: I think it's important for people to understand and think again,

818
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: thank God that you didn't have the stigma associated with

819
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: that asking for help, because yeah, I mean there's a

820
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 1: reason we've been to a lot of funerals, right, that's

821
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 1: one of the main ones. Yeah, But being able to

822
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: have that experience and have that conviction and knowing, Okay,

823
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 1: I know that this isn't right and I need to

824
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: do something about it because I'm not sure how to

825
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: crawl out of this. The fact that you did it

826
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: is one commendable and courageous. So congratulations for that, because

827
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: that's what I tell most people, Hey, acknowledging it is

828
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: step one and most oftentimes so hard to step. And

829
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: then the fact that you were able to get into EMDR,

830
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 1: which we're very familiar with, and for our listeners who

831
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 1: don't know that it's basically a talk therapy that implements

832
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:33,840
Speaker 1: an eye movement technique. It's highly effective. The studies on

833
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: it is pretty impressive, and it's so rad The way

834
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: that you're able to find victory in your vulnerability and

835
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 1: refuse to be a hostage to your pride is so cool.

836
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: And the fact that you're now a dive master, I

837
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 1: think it's so cool, like you had every reason in

838
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: the world to go, you know what, that's that I've

839
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: done it, not doing it anymore, I'm out, And you're

840
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: now a dive master. Bro. That's inspirational, just straight up.

841
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 1: That's the very definition of inspiration.

842
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 3: Can I Yeah?

843
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 2: And I truly to echo what Jake said, you know,

844
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 2: I truly appreciate you having the courage to come on

845
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 2: and tell the story as you stated, and as we've

846
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 2: talked about, you know, talking whether you have the means

847
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 2: and the ability to speak to a professional or not.

848
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 2: Sometimes just talking things out, just getting them off your chest.

849
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 1: It really lifts that brick one hundred percent.

850
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 3: Do you still communicate with Mark's wife?

851
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 4: She's just been unbelievably amazing. And I went to his

852
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 4: funeral or they had a memorial service for his friends

853
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 4: and family, and a couple of us from the dive

854
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 4: community went and it was just it was amazing. I

855
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 4: mean it was just one person after another getting up

856
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 4: and he had all of these interests. I mean, he

857
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 4: was like a college professor and he did sports and

858
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 4: was interested in woodworking and all this stuff. And you

859
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,720
Speaker 4: kept hearing people from his life talk about this burning

860
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 4: curiosity that he had that drove everything, and a number

861
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 4: of people talking about like, you know, it was really

862
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 4: irritating sometimes because you just wouldn't let something go and

863
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 4: wouldn't and it was just like such an amazing kind

864
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 4: of eye opening experience to who this person was, a

865
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 4: validation of opening myself and trying to check my own

866
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 4: judgmental brain. It was incredibly sad because it was just

867
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 4: the loss of the opportunity to really know this person

868
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 4: I may not have without this experience. But his wife

869
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 4: was there and just again the second I walked in,

870
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 4: I brought my wife came with me, and the second

871
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 4: I walked in, she just gave us both this huge hug.

872
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 4: She thanked us again. She just has been so unbelievably

873
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 4: generous throughout this experience, and so we've maintained contact. We

874
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 4: just met right before the holidays to just kind of

875
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 4: talk and check in, and it was incredible and she

876
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 4: is very open about the fact that she lost her

877
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 4: best friend and that this is not it's not like

878
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,439
Speaker 4: she's coming to me and just like, you know, everything's great.

879
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 4: She's really honest about going through it. But it has

880
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 4: been so inspirational to me to be able to see

881
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 4: her right away just recognize that this is somebody who

882
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,320
Speaker 4: pursued something that he loved. And I don't think that

883
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 4: anybody who dies following a passion is like, oh, I

884
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 4: was really happy to die scuba diving, you know, It's

885
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 4: just like he died doing what he loved. It's like

886
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 4: it's always going to suck to die, I think for

887
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 4: most of us. But I just her ability to just

888
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 4: kind of look on the other side and say that

889
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 4: this is somebody who was you know, I think he

890
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 4: was in his sixties and just was still going after

891
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 4: things that he was passionate about. And all of these

892
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 4: people clearly had loved him and experienced that drive and

893
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 4: that curiosity, and that that was incredibly inspirational to me.

894
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: The human connection, when done properly, oftentimes based on something traumatic,

895
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: is to me one of the most beautiful things that

896
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:01,879
Speaker 1: a human being can experience. And you know, the fact

897
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: that you guys still have a relationship and you're able

898
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 1: to hold forward together. People don't understand the how invaluable,

899
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 1: how rare, and how beautiful that is. And I want

900
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 1: to go back. I think it's a very important point

901
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: to touch on quickly when you had that experience with

902
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 1: your son. I think it's important for people to understand

903
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 1: that post traumatic stress is nothing more than a normal

904
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 1: reaction to an otherwise abnormal situation. You're completely normal, You're

905
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: not abnormal, right right. And I think that's where people

906
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 1: get so caught, is they're like, oh, something's wrong with me,

907
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 1: and I'm fundactally right. No. It is a built in

908
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 1: self protection mechanism. I just think it's important to point

909
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 1: that out because so many people are like, no, no, no, no,

910
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: I'm just going to Midwest it or I'm going to

911
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: South it, and He's say no, no, no, don't do that.

912
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: Don't do that, because all you're doing is adding to

913
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:15,919
Speaker 1: the pressure cooker. This is one of my hands down,

914
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 1: one of my favorite episodes. I just want to say

915
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: it while we're live right now.

916
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 2: One of the things that I find is just so

917
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:28,320
Speaker 2: beautifully ironic is that when we first were talking about

918
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:32,760
Speaker 2: your childhood. You mentioned that you were ever curious about everything,

919
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 2: and you would always want to know about this and

920
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 2: you would dive into it, and then to come full

921
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 2: circle and here you are at this memorial service for

922
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,239
Speaker 2: this gentleman that at the beginning you weren't too fond of.

923
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 3: But then to hear he was exactly like you.

924
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 2: I know. And aren't we as humans just masters of

925
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,800
Speaker 2: putting up these walls or these judgments, or maybe it

926
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 2: was instilled in us as a child from our upbringing,

927
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 2: whether it be the South.

928
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 3: Or the North or wherever it might be.

929
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 2: But to break those barriers down and to really just

930
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 2: see people eye to eye humans and experience that love.

931
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 2: I just I agree with Jake. I'm just I'm inspired

932
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,320
Speaker 2: right now. And thank you again for your courage to

933
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 2: come and tell this story.

934
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, the it's been. It's just I am. We

935
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: are no ship. Next time we're there making time and

936
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 1: we're frigging diving together and you're going to I'm not

937
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 1: going at night though, I don't care if it's easy.

938
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:27,879
Speaker 3: Wait to Creepy Crawley Dove.

939
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: I will die with you anywhere anytime. Say the word amazing.

940
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 3: He's got one good leg that circles.

941
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,359
Speaker 4: I know there's a lot of people who are doing

942
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 4: with a mono fin just a single thing to do that,

943
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,760
Speaker 4: and then there's scooters and all kinds of stuff underwater

944
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 4: too that you can make it easier for yourself.

945
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 2: You would look great as it in a merman merman cost.

946
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 2: Don't thrown me with a good time, Oh Randie, thank

947
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 2: you so much. Thank you for being on the good stuff,

948
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 2: and thank you for sharing story with all of us

949
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: and encouraging and inspiring us today.

950
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 4: Thank you. I so appreciate that you guys are doing

951
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 4: this and that you're giving space for these type of

952
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 4: conversations because, like I said, it's just it's rare, and

953
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 4: I feel like even just putting this out into the

954
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 4: world in this way is just making a difference and

955
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 4: it's I really appreciate it.

956
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 1: Thank you man, listen. Didn't really know you before this,

957
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, we like our people. Collections stock just

958
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: went up. That's awesome, no doubt about it. So thank you, brother.

959
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it, and I am super stoked to

960
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 1: go dive with you soon. Awesome.

961
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for listening. If this episode touched

962
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 3: you today, please share it. And be part of making

963
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 3: someone else's day better.

964
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: Put on your bad ass capes and go be great today.

965
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 1: And remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.

966
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the good Stuff.

967
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 2: The Good Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick,

968
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 2: Leah Pictures and q Coode Media, Hosted by Ashley Shick

969
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 2: and Jacob Schick, Produced by Nick Cassellini and Ryan cants

970
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 2: House Post production supervisor Will Tindi. Music editing by Will

971
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 2: Haywood Smith, edited by Mike Robinson,