Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority life with
Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2: Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, and welcome to Dirty Rush, where we are
Speaker 1: giving you the inside scoop on sorority life. In this episode,
Speaker 1: we are talking about standards. Standards is basically a group
Speaker 1: of people who run a committee.
Speaker 3: And basically punish you on your behavior.
Speaker 1: There is proper etiquette and proper behavior that is necessary
Speaker 1: while being in a sorority.
Speaker 3: And we are.
Speaker 1: Going to dive deep, have some callers calling in and
Speaker 1: telling us their standard story and at the end maybe
Speaker 1: you'll hear a story from me. I have a celebrity
Speaker 1: guest here with me today, Mercedes north Up.
Speaker 4: Welcome to Dirty Rush. Excited to be here, so excited
Speaker 4: to have you here.
Speaker 5: So new announcement. You just launched your podcast. Yes, famously
Speaker 5: available with Ben. It has been so much fun, having fun.
Speaker 5: It's all about dating, so you know.
Speaker 4: Getting back into the dating room.
Speaker 5: Yes, girl, I'm back in there. It's so scary, but
Speaker 5: I'm ready.
Speaker 3: Honestly, this is.
Speaker 4: So fun though. Yes, the dating podcast.
Speaker 1: You're kind of just doing the intros right now, but
Speaker 1: then you're gonna get into dating, like went on dates
Speaker 1: via podcast.
Speaker 5: Yeah, which is so crazy interesting. So I kind of
Speaker 5: took a break from dating. I haven't dated in like
Speaker 5: two years, which is a long time. I needed time
Speaker 5: just to like, I don't know, I went through I
Speaker 5: had a really bad situation ship again, you know. So
Speaker 5: I had two years off and I was like, I
Speaker 5: saw my mom. I'm like, I think the next time,
Speaker 5: Like I'm going to go on a date, Like they're
Speaker 5: setting me up on a day I need to like
Speaker 5: get ready. So I'm clienting my practice date on Saturday.
Speaker 5: The poor guy doesn't know it, but who knows.
Speaker 1: Maybe this practice yining armor literally know, Oh.
Speaker 4: My god, I love that.
Speaker 5: Yeah okay, so my fingers crossed for the date on side. Yeah,
Speaker 5: we'll see.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I'll keep you updated.
Speaker 1: So Dirty Rush, you know that it's all about sorority life,
Speaker 1: and we kind of just talk about the good, the bad,
Speaker 1: the ugly and really get into the truth about sorority life.
Speaker 4: So where did you go? Were you in a sorority?
Speaker 7: Yes?
Speaker 4: What was your experience?
Speaker 8: Like?
Speaker 4: So I went to Iowa State and stayed in state.
Speaker 5: Yes, okay, yeah, yep, went i of state study fashion.
Speaker 5: It was like, I loved that school. It was so
Speaker 5: much fun. But I honestly didn't know much about recruitment,
Speaker 5: but I a few Are you the oldest?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And my mom was like having fifteen, Like she didn't
Speaker 5: go to college. So I was like, my moss one
Speaker 5: nothing when I.
Speaker 4: Don't you have to pay deuce? She goes what was like,
Speaker 4: what is that? Yeah? Literally, you're rushing a sorority. What's that?
Speaker 7: Literally?
Speaker 6: That was me.
Speaker 5: I had no idea what I was doing, what I
Speaker 5: was getting myself into. But my roommate she was like,
Speaker 5: I'm doing it, like you should do it with me,
Speaker 5: And I'm like, okay, like sure, why not?
Speaker 4: Like that's just what it is.
Speaker 5: Went through recruitment, had a really good recruitment process, honestly,
Speaker 5: and my top three were the Z, Kapa and tried
Speaker 5: delt Okay, and then pref Night, I went Kappa and DZ,
Speaker 5: and then I ended up going DZ. Bitted them, they
Speaker 5: bitted me, so that's where I went, and I loved
Speaker 5: d Z. It was so much fun. I met like
Speaker 5: all my best friends, but there was some issues too.
Speaker 4: They were very.
Speaker 5: Hard on us sometimes, like just having like certain things
Speaker 5: that we could do and couldn't do. And I was,
Speaker 5: you know, a freshman. I'm like, I'm literally in college.
Speaker 5: I this is my time to like do what I want,
Speaker 5: Like let me go to a party, let me post
Speaker 5: a beer in the.
Speaker 4: Oh, and you couldn't and we would get fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Oh my, I gotta say I was stayed in standards.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, like I was sending my ass to standards.
Speaker 1: They really did, but it was until you were initiated,
Speaker 1: after initiation, then you were able to write no.
Speaker 5: Oh no, No, they were very strict. Maybe they didn't
Speaker 5: want that image. It's just so crazy because we were
Speaker 5: like cut it on the party house, okay, but they
Speaker 5: like were very but like the Yeah, they were strict.
Speaker 4: And you were in your sorority all four years.
Speaker 5: No, I actually dropped my junior year, did you just
Speaker 5: because I was getting I was tired of getting fined
Speaker 5: like random things like I don't even remember what I
Speaker 5: got fined for, but I was like I'm not paying that,
Speaker 5: like I'm not doing this anymore. Like and it was
Speaker 5: just so expensive.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, sometimes it's a money grab.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think my dues were like three hundred dollars if
Speaker 5: you a month and then if you missed, which as
Speaker 5: a college students like pretty expensive, Like I was paying
Speaker 5: for it, So that was that. And then also like
Speaker 5: if you missed, what's it? Why am I forgetting what
Speaker 5: it's called? Like chapter chapter? They find you like one
Speaker 5: hundred dollars. Yeah, I'm not doing that. And I loved
Speaker 5: going home and like being with my family, and it
Speaker 5: was always on Sundays.
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, after it was always on Sunday,
Speaker 4: always on Sundays.
Speaker 1: I hated that when I would go home for Sunday
Speaker 1: dinner and I had to leave to go to chapter That's.
Speaker 4: What I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And I would have to like request, like, can I
Speaker 1: go on zoom today for this chapter meeting? I would
Speaker 1: always say, Now, sometimes we were in drafter for five.
Speaker 5: Minutes, I know, and they needed to do Yeah, it's
Speaker 5: so dope, they needed five minutes. Yeah, but yeah, I
Speaker 5: was just over the fighting and over getting in trouble
Speaker 5: with them.
Speaker 4: So I was like, I'm just going to drop.
Speaker 3: Sarah, Welcome to Dirty Rush.
Speaker 4: Hi, thanks for having me so excited to hear your story.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 10: So I think I kind of have a unique like
Speaker 10: experience because when I was in college, I went to
Speaker 10: a really big public school in LA.
Speaker 8: Some people might know it.
Speaker 4: It's U C.
Speaker 11: L A.
Speaker 3: And oh was sick.
Speaker 8: And I like definitely loved my experience.
Speaker 10: But I so much so that I was president of
Speaker 10: my sorority. And so when I was president, I served
Speaker 10: on standards. A big reason why a lot of people
Speaker 10: got called into standards was because a lot of our
Speaker 10: events were off campus at different venues around the city
Speaker 10: in La, and so there would be these long bus
Speaker 10: rides where people would heavily pregame prior to these bus
Speaker 10: rides to these events, and every single event, without fail,
Speaker 10: somebody would throw up on the bus. And we had
Speaker 10: members of our sorority called like sober sisters sober monitors,
Speaker 10: whose role was to like, of course make sure everyone
Speaker 10: was safe and okay, but also to like give trash
Speaker 10: back to anyone on the bus that would looked like
Speaker 10: they were about to throw up, and then also like
Speaker 10: report them back to the sorority if they did throw up,
Speaker 10: because like then the sorority would have to pay that
Speaker 10: huge fine or whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that was a.
Speaker 10: Big standards call in and I, yes was president, was
Speaker 10: serving on the on board of standards. Prior to that,
Speaker 10: had been called into standards for throwing up on a bus.
Speaker 10: I was a freshman and I was actually supposed to
Speaker 10: be a sober monitor. Oh no, yeah, so it was
Speaker 10: really bad. It was like, not only did you throw
Speaker 10: up on the bus, but you.
Speaker 3: Also you were watching everywhere.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 10: Was not my proudest moment, but that that's my standard story.
Speaker 4: That is so funny.
Speaker 1: Girls got brought to standards because they were encouraging me
Speaker 1: to drink on midnight.
Speaker 8: When you were just when you had just basically like.
Speaker 1: Just went home, like I just went to Zeta, I
Speaker 1: just got my bid, Like we ran home and it
Speaker 1: was midday, so we were all just like having a
Speaker 1: big party in the house.
Speaker 3: And to be.
Speaker 10: Honest, though, were you did you feel peer pressured or
Speaker 10: were you oh take part?
Speaker 3: No, like one hundred percent, I felt here pressured. Oh
Speaker 3: you did no good drink like no, because I knew
Speaker 3: I wasn't supposed to.
Speaker 1: But somehow standards got wind of it, and then my
Speaker 1: older sisters got in trouble because they were.
Speaker 3: Like, like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: This is obviously unacceptable, And then that girl literally had
Speaker 1: to write an apology.
Speaker 3: Letter to me.
Speaker 1: I didn't think it was that big of a deal,
Speaker 1: but obviously it was a big deal to the sorority
Speaker 1: because for liability purposes.
Speaker 10: Then it's like when Standard catches you, then what do
Speaker 10: they do with you to punish you? This Standard punishment
Speaker 10: was like you have to be a sober sister again.
Speaker 1: I think that was the main punishment for Zeta too.
Speaker 1: It was either like they would take away some mixture,
Speaker 1: some mixers you weren't able to go out, or like
Speaker 1: they made you a sober monitor for the next eight party.
Speaker 1: And obviously if you got that, you were pissed because
Speaker 1: your night was ruined. I think Standards definitely has their
Speaker 1: normal protocol and what they follow. I think the end
Speaker 1: goal is just to make you more like a better
Speaker 1: and more responsible person in the long run.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Sarah, This.
Speaker 1: Was awesome, but I'm glad you made a step up.
Speaker 1: You went from throwing up on the bus on the
Speaker 1: way to a day party to then becoming.
Speaker 3: The president of your sorority.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that shows growth. This is exactly what the
Speaker 1: sororities wanted. Miranda, Welcome to Dirty Rush.
Speaker 9: Thank you so much. When you say the word Standards,
Speaker 9: I get chills in my body. It literally brings back
Speaker 9: trauma feelings. No, I hate that, yeah, in a funny way.
Speaker 1: But I feel like everyone felt like that when they
Speaker 1: got called to standards.
Speaker 9: It's so true because no one gets called in for
Speaker 9: a great reason. And our standards was made up of
Speaker 9: our friends, sisters, and then an advisor or two, so
Speaker 9: it was pretty intense and my funny enough. When I
Speaker 9: was in my aurority, my sister was also in the
Speaker 9: same southrority and she was on standards.
Speaker 1: She probably like internally wanted to kill you, like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, my sister just getting called.
Speaker 9: The honest truth is I wish it was for an exciting,
Speaker 9: fun reason, like a behavioral one. But I was called
Speaker 9: in with my sister to standards. And again she was
Speaker 9: on standards because our bills were never paid because my
Speaker 9: dad is just a very fun kind of traveling guy
Speaker 9: who just would completely forget or not send in the
Speaker 9: paycheck or the building. So we would get called in together.
Speaker 9: And again she was on standards because our bills were
Speaker 9: not being paid. And I remember sitting there thinking, I'm nineteen,
Speaker 9: I have, you know, twenty dollars at best in my pocket,
Speaker 9: Like I don't know what to do about this. Yeah,
Speaker 9: And it was just very awkward, hilarious experience because it
Speaker 9: was my friends saying pay your bill and saying, okay,
Speaker 9: call my parents because I barely have money for dinner
Speaker 9: this week. When I hear standards now, it just brings
Speaker 9: up a little PTSD because it was not fun.
Speaker 1: Looking back at standards, I feel like they were just
Speaker 1: trying to constantly teach you a lesson.
Speaker 9: I so agree. I think there were so many lessons
Speaker 9: being in authority and learning to live with all the
Speaker 9: girls and absolutely standards was is reality.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, it's Jen Fessler here with another standard story.
Speaker 6: Here on Dirty Rush.
Speaker 2: We have Elizabeth today who's going to talk to us
Speaker 2: about her experience that she had in terms of standards
Speaker 2: and what happened and how it all went down.
Speaker 11: So Hi Elizabeth, Hi, Okay, Yes, So my standards story
Speaker 11: was kind of the typical of posting with alcohol, not
Speaker 11: being able to post.
Speaker 8: With alcohol, and I knew that. But basically, in my sorority,
Speaker 8: we have an Instagram account and it's a normal girl's name,
Speaker 8: but if they comment a heart on your post, it
Speaker 8: means delete that post immediately and we won't say anything
Speaker 8: to you, and it's all good. But my ambitious self
Speaker 8: was like, Oh, they're gonna forget about that. They're not
Speaker 8: gonna remember they commented a heart, So I did not
Speaker 8: delete that post. And then I posted again with what
Speaker 8: looked like a lemonade cup. It could have been a
Speaker 8: lemonade cup, but it was alcohol. And they commented another
Speaker 8: heart on my post, and so I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 8: like two hearts. Now, I should probably delete it, but
Speaker 8: I didn't.
Speaker 6: Why didn't you?
Speaker 8: I don't know. I think I was just kind of like,
Speaker 8: it looks like lemonade, like, and I was like, this
Speaker 8: is such a double standard. So many of them post
Speaker 8: with alcohol, like and they it's just a favorite thing.
Speaker 8: They pick the people they want to call the art
Speaker 8: and then they pick people that they're like, oh, they
Speaker 8: can get away with it.
Speaker 2: So it was almost like you're almost not giving them
Speaker 2: a fu but kind of like you were sort of
Speaker 2: standing up for yourself in say so it wasn't.
Speaker 6: As if you were just like, they won't notice. It
Speaker 6: was more like, no, this is not fair.
Speaker 8: I think it was a little bit of both, Like
Speaker 8: the first time it was like, oh, they won't notice,
Speaker 8: and then the second time it was like, this is
Speaker 8: so annoying. I keep seeing all these people in my
Speaker 8: sorority posting with alcohol as well, and all these posts
Speaker 8: are not getting hearts on it, Like why am I
Speaker 8: getting a heart comment? So and of course I'm like
Speaker 8: thinking my private story on Snapchat is like a safe
Speaker 8: place to go. So I'm like, they're trying to take
Speaker 8: my like rights away. I can post it right want whatever?
Speaker 2: In I mean, I'm not, I don't even I don't
Speaker 2: think that's so out of the realm of.
Speaker 6: Right and true. You should be able to post what
Speaker 6: you want.
Speaker 2: Although I get that, I guess you know what you
Speaker 2: guys post is in some way or reflection problems. When
Speaker 2: I was I was in a sorority a million and
Speaker 2: ten years ago, we didn't have social media. But was
Speaker 2: it also is it a particularly fun post? Were you like,
Speaker 2: I love this post. I don't want to take it down?
Speaker 8: It was a semester recap, so I was like, okay,
Speaker 8: I have to take.
Speaker 6: The time on it.
Speaker 8: Yeah, right, And it was like yeah, And I think
Speaker 8: this was before the Instagram update of like you can
Speaker 8: delete one like slide out of your post, So this
Speaker 8: was before you can.
Speaker 6: That's good for me to know you can do that.
Speaker 8: Yeah, but before you couldn't do that. So I was like, oh,
Speaker 8: this is my semester post, like I'm whatever, right, right, yeah,
Speaker 8: But then they DM me and I'm like still in
Speaker 8: this stubborn state of mind of like I just won't
Speaker 8: open it. It doesn't stay seen if I don't open it.
Speaker 8: So like, so this Instagram account DMS meat like, I
Speaker 8: don't know, I.
Speaker 2: Want to meet your mom. I want my daughter to
Speaker 2: be just like that. She is actually like this.
Speaker 8: I think my mom would be so upset with me. Really,
Speaker 8: she was just delete it. It's Instagram, and I'd be like.
Speaker 6: Maybe she's right.
Speaker 2: I don't even know, but I'm kind of like, I'm
Speaker 2: just happy to hear about you not letting yourself get
Speaker 2: pushed around.
Speaker 6: Although yeah you did, Okay, I'll let you finish your story.
Speaker 8: So then anyways, I'm like, oh, I got away with it,
Speaker 8: but little did I know. I get a standards email.
Speaker 8: So I think every school does a different but for mine,
Speaker 8: we get an email and it's like come an hour
Speaker 8: before chapter on Sundays and you just go into this
Speaker 8: room and they basically tell you what you did. Some
Speaker 8: people go in there like completely blind, like I don't
Speaker 8: even know what I did. I obviously had all of
Speaker 8: this right, and I did. So I go into this meeting.
Speaker 8: It's the president, risk chair, the standards committee, just like
Speaker 8: all of them, and I'm like, basically in.
Speaker 6: A circle or do they like you have to face
Speaker 6: them all.
Speaker 8: It's just like around a table and you just sit
Speaker 8: down one of the chairs. It's actually like pretty chill
Speaker 8: at my school. They don't make it very crazy, but
Speaker 8: it is a little bit intimidating sitting down with like
Speaker 8: the president of your sorority and you know exactly what
Speaker 8: you did and so yeah, so they just sat me
Speaker 8: down and they were like listen, like we commented the hearts,
Speaker 8: you know, the drill, we DMD you, I know, you
Speaker 8: didn't open it, like they knew exactly what it was right,
Speaker 8: And I was just like I'm sorry, yeah, it won't
Speaker 8: happen again. I'm just explaining that. And then there has
Speaker 8: to be a repercussion for everything, basically with standards. And
Speaker 8: so they had me write a ham written paper like
Speaker 8: a letter to them basically saying how exactly what you
Speaker 8: said before, like this is a reflection of us as
Speaker 8: a chapter. This isn't just because we want you to
Speaker 8: take down your Instagram post and I was like, okay,
Speaker 8: that's okay, I'll do that. So it had to be
Speaker 8: a handwritten letter, and I had to bring it into
Speaker 8: chapter the week after on Sunday. And so in this letter,
Speaker 8: I'm just like, this won't happen again. I understand this
Speaker 8: is a reflection of my sorority. I committed to something,
Speaker 8: like just kind of writing what they want to hear,
Speaker 8: like it's an Instagram post. I don't really care. And
Speaker 8: then yeah, so then you have to bring it in
Speaker 8: the next week into chapter and hand it to them.
Speaker 8: But of course you're walking into chapter with a piece
Speaker 8: of paper, and everyone knows what this means, like it's anyone.
Speaker 6: Really cares, and everyone like kind of laughing about it.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's a laughing matter. It's not like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 8: blah blah blah. I mean so many people have to
Speaker 8: do this. Half my friends had to do stuff because
Speaker 8: they didn't show up to events that were mandatory and
Speaker 8: they had to write letter saying that it's really rude
Speaker 8: to commit to something and then whatever. So it's all
Speaker 8: hand written letters. But when you're showing up to chapter
Speaker 8: with a ham written letter, like everyone knows that you
Speaker 8: went to standard right right my eyes, I'm like slyly
Speaker 8: handing my piece of the person.
Speaker 6: For you embarrass did you feel?
Speaker 2: I mean, I just think I'm thinking about why they
Speaker 2: make you do it that way, Like why they make
Speaker 2: you walk into chapter with it, yeah, written in front
Speaker 2: of everyone and hand it over. I mean it's so
Speaker 2: obviously too I'm sorry to say, but you may not agree,
Speaker 2: but to kind of shame you a little bit.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, I think half of it is. But I
Speaker 8: also think my sorority is like traditional with a lot
Speaker 8: of things. We don't like to do a lot of
Speaker 8: stuff on technology. So I think maybe the traditional part
Speaker 8: of it is like oh hamdwritten letter. It's a little
Speaker 8: bit more like authentic and like you mean it rather
Speaker 8: than like chat gbting something or whatever. Yeah, but I
Speaker 8: think that actually, like physically handing it to them during
Speaker 8: chapter is definitely like oh.
Speaker 2: We're gonna shame yeah exactly.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I mean, were you upset you? Did it take any
Speaker 6: Did it take a toll on you?
Speaker 8: I think I'm just like my stubborn self was like
Speaker 8: they got me, Like it didn't upset me, but I
Speaker 8: was just like, yes, of course I couldn't get away
Speaker 8: that's so funny. Yeah, like so many people get away
Speaker 8: with stuff like that, though. I mean like I was
Speaker 8: a sophomore when that happens, so a little bit of
Speaker 8: me was like, okay, just whatever, You're still an underclassman,
Speaker 8: like this happens, maybe you can get away with it
Speaker 8: junior and senior year if you really want to again.
Speaker 8: But I just think some of it's kind of like
Speaker 8: I didn't know anyone in the standards committee or like
Speaker 8: the risk chair or anything. Like, I wasn't friends with them,
Speaker 8: so they weren't going to like favor me like they
Speaker 8: favorite their friends, Like.
Speaker 6: Can you say that to them? Like can you say other? Really?
Speaker 8: Well, I wouldn't personally, yeah, but I'm sure people wouldn't
Speaker 8: like balls. People would, But I personally was just like, okay,
Speaker 8: I'll write this letter like write worries.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I get that. I get that just wasn't
Speaker 6: worth it.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it wasn't worth it to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know it's funny. I want to have my daughter,
Speaker 2: come on, she has a story about standards. Well, I
Speaker 2: should say we do, because she got called in to
Speaker 2: standards her senior year for something that happened to her.
Speaker 2: But instead of like there being any kind of real
Speaker 2: talk with her or like what happened She just got
Speaker 2: an email she had to go in front of standards
Speaker 2: and really inappropriate because at some point you all are
Speaker 2: grown women and your mommies should probably stay out of it.
Speaker 6: But I completely lost my shit, and I knew it was.
Speaker 2: Just like, there's no they haven't even heard what you
Speaker 2: had to say, and standards. I guess she could have
Speaker 2: told them what she had to say, but standards is
Speaker 2: almost like you've done something wrong. Yeah, and anyway, so
Speaker 2: I called, I guess I called the house mother.
Speaker 6: What are they called, yeah, the house mother, house mother?
Speaker 6: And this is completely unacceptable.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: She was so upset because and I'm hoping that she
Speaker 2: will come out and tell her story. I don't want
Speaker 2: to tell it for her, but it was really something
Speaker 2: that happened to her, and a really an awful thing.
Speaker 6: Anyway, so.
Speaker 2: I said, I don't really get this. These are the
Speaker 2: whole point of this is that you meet these girls
Speaker 2: and they become your sisters. First, like want to get
Speaker 2: behind you, talk to you what happened before bringing you
Speaker 2: in front of a disciplinary committee. It just seemed egregious
Speaker 2: to me, and I was like just pissed. I was like,
Speaker 2: what is this for if it's not to find people
Speaker 2: that are going to be on your side, not for everything.
Speaker 6: When you do something wrong, you do something wrong.
Speaker 2: But she hadn't, and so it just made it worse
Speaker 2: that she was getting called into Sanders. Needless to say,
Speaker 2: they said, you're absolutely right, she doesn't have to come
Speaker 2: in and thought what you did for them because I
Speaker 2: was ready to go down.
Speaker 8: There and yeah, they didn't want to deal with you exactly.
Speaker 6: Good for Rachel too, because I would mortified her. But
Speaker 6: I you know, I think that probably.
Speaker 2: For a lot of young women girls that it is
Speaker 2: really scary and it's intimidating, and I'm glad to hear
Speaker 2: you guys just kind of sat or sit around a
Speaker 2: round table. I think sometimes it's even more it's like
Speaker 2: meant to be intimidating.
Speaker 8: A little bit. Yeah, I think so, you know, mm hmm, yeah.
Speaker 8: I think especially like just seeing your president and like
Speaker 8: people who are supposed to be like risk chair and
Speaker 8: all of that in front of your face.
Speaker 2: So I mean I think that you know, you join
Speaker 2: a sorority to be part of this sisterhood and to
Speaker 2: know that all of these girls have your back right,
Speaker 2: And I'm again I'm not taking away from the fact
Speaker 2: that if you screw up and you are doing something
Speaker 2: that is reflecting badly on your sorority, that there shouldn't
Speaker 2: be consequences for that.
Speaker 6: I absolutely know that that's true.
Speaker 2: And even back in my day, even though there was
Speaker 2: in social media, you know, there was like a love
Speaker 2: you could get in trouble, you can get thrown out,
Speaker 2: whatever it was. But I don't know, I feel like
Speaker 2: maybe I'm a little biased because of what happened to
Speaker 2: my daughter. But let's first like talk about it without
Speaker 2: going to standards, you know, before we go to a
Speaker 2: disciplinary committee, like what happened. Maybe not in your case
Speaker 2: because if there was hard m I'm kind of giving
Speaker 2: them the little fingers, the middle fingers, So maybe not.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, no, they definitely gave me warnings. But I
Speaker 8: will say that is true because people who go in
Speaker 8: there blind and like have no clue what they did.
Speaker 8: Like that's intimidating, and that's got to be like who
Speaker 8: knows what they're about to say to me, But like
Speaker 8: would be the worst day of my life could be okay,
Speaker 8: and you just don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean, at the end of the day. The worst
Speaker 2: thing that they that could happen is that they can
Speaker 2: kick you out, right, Yeah, I mean I guess they're
Speaker 2: also well I'm sure do you Priory talked about it.
Speaker 6: But there's things that they can do.
Speaker 2: I mean whatever, I don't know what in your sorority,
Speaker 2: what are your what are the consequences?
Speaker 6: There are probably a different levels.
Speaker 8: I would think, Yeah, you could be on probation, which
Speaker 8: I don't really know what those all entail, like with details,
Speaker 8: but yeah, you could be on probation for a little bit,
Speaker 8: or you could like not be able to go to
Speaker 8: a formal, which is the fun part obviously, right right, right,
Speaker 8: So they definitely have different consequences. I think mine was
Speaker 8: like one of the lesser versions of what they do.
Speaker 8: I know a lot of my friends who have had
Speaker 8: to go also have to write hand written letters. So
Speaker 8: I didn't think that was crazy that I had to
Speaker 8: do that.
Speaker 7: She was grateful for.
Speaker 8: But yeah, they could have told me, like you're not
Speaker 8: going to this next formal like whatever, But yeah, they
Speaker 8: didn't do that.
Speaker 6: Thank god. I'm so glad.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that is the fun part.
Speaker 2: Well, anything else any other ideas or thoughts about standards,
Speaker 2: your experience.
Speaker 8: I mean with me, that was the only time I've
Speaker 8: gone I will say that like a girl. I know
Speaker 8: we've talked about like shame and everything, and I don't
Speaker 8: think that's their intention with everything that they do. So
Speaker 8: I want to like take it with a grain of
Speaker 8: salt type of thing, like I know a lot of
Speaker 8: my friends who have gone through like emotional stress and
Speaker 8: all of that get called into standards, which, like you
Speaker 8: were saying with your daughter, that's not a great thing
Speaker 8: that they're getting called into standards because it makes it
Speaker 8: seem like they did something wrong. But when they actually
Speaker 8: are in the meeting, standards will be like, hey, we're
Speaker 8: here for you and we want to provide resources, but
Speaker 8: to kind of get you in like an area where
Speaker 8: we could all be with you. And this is just
Speaker 8: like the protocol. So I know that they do definitely
Speaker 8: help with that. They probably should go about it in
Speaker 8: a different way and not call it a standards meeting.
Speaker 6: But listen, I'm glad to hear that.
Speaker 2: I really am you for clarifying that, because again, like
Speaker 2: when I when my daughter went through it, I was like,
Speaker 2: you're getting called into what, yeah, stand in front of
Speaker 2: who I don't think so so yeah, no, I hear
Speaker 2: you if it's if that is, I mean, I think
Speaker 2: girls probably do still get scared, you know, oh yeah
Speaker 2: for sure, which I don't.
Speaker 6: I don't love. I mean, you should feel like you're
Speaker 6: talking to your sisters, yes, you know, per se.
Speaker 8: Yeah, you're also talking to girls your own age, Like,
Speaker 8: I mean a couple of them were older than me,
Speaker 8: like the president and stuff. But I was like, why
Speaker 8: am I next to someone who I literally just rushed
Speaker 8: with and she's telling me what my consequences? That's so awkward.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Do you ever be on a committee on standards committee?
Speaker 8: No? Because I don't think I could do that to
Speaker 8: people that I'm like really good friends with. I don't know,
Speaker 8: it's so awkward. And I've heard the stories of like
Speaker 8: it gets complicated with friends and like if your roommates
Speaker 8: with them, and it kind of gets weird, like are
Speaker 8: you gonna do the same things that you would do
Speaker 8: before they were on this committee? Like I don't want
Speaker 8: my friends to have to like hold back from their
Speaker 8: like lives just because I'm on this like committee, you
Speaker 8: know what I mean.
Speaker 6: I only think people would do it because it looks
Speaker 6: good on your resume.
Speaker 8: Maybe right, Yeah, it is great. It's a leadership position.
Speaker 8: It probably does look really good on a resume, but otherwise, yeah,
Speaker 8: I just wouldn't want like my friends or people to
Speaker 8: not do or act as they normally would around me,
Speaker 8: just because I'm like.
Speaker 6: I don't want to do either. Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, Elizabeth, thank you, sweet girl, thank you for
Speaker 2: coming on. I'm glad that you escaped a bigger punishment
Speaker 2: and right and I could do everything.
Speaker 6: And that you still go into the normals.
Speaker 8: Yes, I am saying I'm trouble good for you.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, thank you so much, and we love
Speaker 2: talking to you. Thanks everybody gus listening. And girls, don't
Speaker 2: post things that you don't want to get in trouble for.
Speaker 2: That's the moral of this story. Okay, so now we
Speaker 2: have Rowan Rowan. Hi there, how are you doing? Hi?
Speaker 7: I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 6: I'm good. I appreciate you calling in from abroad. Where
Speaker 6: are you?
Speaker 12: I'm in Portugal right now, but I study rod in Florence.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 6: How great is that?
Speaker 7: Yes, it's amazing. I love it.
Speaker 6: I'll bet do they have standards in Florence?
Speaker 7: No, they don't good day.
Speaker 8: Nice.
Speaker 2: That's nice. That's a good thing. So Rowan, do you
Speaker 2: want to share where you go to school?
Speaker 7: Yes, I go to UCLA.
Speaker 6: You're brainiac just a little bit, very nice, Okay.
Speaker 2: So yeah, we've been doing a lot of talking about
Speaker 2: standards and different young women experiences, so I love for
Speaker 2: you to share yours.
Speaker 7: Yes, of course I would love to share mine.
Speaker 12: Basically, I this is my first time ever getting called
Speaker 12: into standards for my sorority. I had been at a
Speaker 12: frat event and I had just seen some stuff on
Speaker 12: the internet that was funny about people stealing composites and
Speaker 12: people I don't know doing silly things when they were out,
Speaker 12: and I thought it would be funny to steal a
Speaker 12: composite off of the wall because they were in the
Speaker 12: middle of the hallway and no one was inside. Everyone
Speaker 12: was outdoors, So I thought it would be funny, and
Speaker 12: I was talking to one of my friends about it,
Speaker 12: and she told me that I should do it, and
Speaker 12: I was like, okay, but I don't want to do
Speaker 12: it by myself, and she didn't want to do it
Speaker 12: with me, and so then I was like, I mentioned
Speaker 12: it to some one of my other friends and she
Speaker 12: said that she was. She wanted to do it with me,
Speaker 12: so we both just decided to pick one, a random
Speaker 12: one close to the door to escape, and we ripped
Speaker 12: it off of the wall and ran out of the house.
Speaker 12: And then I was worried about getting I was worried
Speaker 12: about stealing it and not returning it, like I wanted
Speaker 12: them to have it back. I just thought it was
Speaker 12: funny in the moment, so I left it on the
Speaker 12: side of the road next to their house because we
Speaker 12: were worried about I mean, they're pretty expensive, and I
Speaker 12: was just I felt bad. There's people on it, and
Speaker 12: people that their pictures are taken and stuff like that.
Speaker 6: Year from my ear do you remember? Was it from
Speaker 6: a long time ago?
Speaker 12: I think the picture was twenty eleven, so it wasn't
Speaker 12: too recent, but it.
Speaker 6: Wasn't too old, okay, so it was like a.
Speaker 12: Little in between. But we left it on the side
Speaker 12: of the road. And then I think it got circular.
Speaker 7: Someone found it.
Speaker 12: On the side of the road and it got I
Speaker 12: think it got maybe returned to them, But anyway, I
Speaker 12: had i'd been a while and then I had received
Speaker 12: an email from my sorority that had basically said it
Speaker 12: said dear Rowan, you are called into a meeting with
Speaker 12: standards for your actions at said frat.
Speaker 7: Please meet with us at this time.
Speaker 12: And that's when I started to freak out a little
Speaker 12: bit because I had never been called into standards before, right,
Speaker 12: and I did not know what to expect because I
Speaker 12: was a freshman in college and it was something that
Speaker 12: I was so new to that I was like, I
Speaker 12: don't know how they're gonna punish me, Like, I don't
Speaker 12: know how'm gonna get bined.
Speaker 7: I don't know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 12: And so my friend had gotten the same email, and
Speaker 12: so after chapter we get called into this room.
Speaker 2: Well, when she got the same email, did you guys
Speaker 2: then think, okay, so this is probably about the composite.
Speaker 7: Yes, I think, I assume.
Speaker 12: Because it had said the fraternity's name, I knew that
Speaker 12: it was probably in regards to this, and since we
Speaker 12: both got the same email, we kind of connected the
Speaker 12: dots and were like, this is probably what it's for.
Speaker 7: They didn't stay specifically in the email.
Speaker 12: I think what I was being called in for just
Speaker 12: I was being called in for something, and then I.
Speaker 7: Think they they mentioned it in the meeting.
Speaker 12: Once I got there, they were like, this is why
Speaker 12: you've been called in. But I in the email they
Speaker 12: didn't say that got it, but I kind of figure
Speaker 12: that it was right. Yeah, And then I went into
Speaker 12: the meeting and they had basically asked me why I
Speaker 12: did it, and I had explained that I it was
Speaker 12: really sorry and I regret doing it, and that it
Speaker 12: was I thought it was funny, but it was kind
Speaker 12: of a stressful meeting.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 12: And then I thought, and then they told me that
Speaker 12: I had to write a letter to the fraternity president
Speaker 12: to apologize.
Speaker 2: But by the way, you have to forgive me because
Speaker 2: at the beginning of this, I thought you had stolen
Speaker 2: a composite off of the sorority house.
Speaker 6: I didn't realize you stole it.
Speaker 2: Now it is funny now, I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 12: Yes, because if I had taken one out of the
Speaker 12: sorority it would have been I think a little bit
Speaker 12: less problematic because.
Speaker 7: It would be my own house.
Speaker 12: Because it was not my own house, so it was
Speaker 12: a little bit problematic.
Speaker 6: Okay, all right, I can't why you'd have to go
Speaker 6: to standards for that. Yeah, nice move, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 7: It was fun.
Speaker 12: It was fun I thought it was funny, and I
Speaker 12: still think it's funny.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but the whole reason So when I.
Speaker 12: Got into Standards, I at first was kind of like,
Speaker 12: how did they know I personally did this? Like because
Speaker 12: I was seen by nobody, Like no one had watched
Speaker 12: me do it and it.
Speaker 7: Was just me and my front No. I got caught on.
Speaker 12: The security cameras outside of their front door and they
Speaker 12: had a full video of us running out the door
Speaker 12: with the It was a huge composite, like it had
Speaker 12: to take of us to carry it, and it was
Speaker 12: a It was a video of us like running out
Speaker 12: the doors down the steps, and that's how I got caught.
Speaker 7: And they had like pulled it up and were like
Speaker 7: is this you? And it was me. But that's basically.
Speaker 12: How I got caught and got sent to standards because
Speaker 12: the frat, I guess, sent it and we're like do
Speaker 12: you know who this is?
Speaker 7: And it was me and my friend, which is crazy.
Speaker 6: So what were the consequences?
Speaker 12: I had been told I was going to get fined
Speaker 12: and that I had to write a letter to the
Speaker 12: fraternity president stating my apology, and it was two pages
Speaker 12: long and I had to sign it and address him,
Speaker 12: and then I was told I was going to get
Speaker 12: fined and billed by the frat.
Speaker 7: But I had never received.
Speaker 12: That fine, like the billing from the fraternity, because I
Speaker 12: found out that it was because they were too lazy
Speaker 12: to actually send me the bill, like they just didn't
Speaker 12: want to go through the process.
Speaker 7: Of I guess billing us.
Speaker 12: But it was going to be a crazy amount, like
Speaker 12: five plus dollars because I think composites cost like two
Speaker 12: thousand dollars, so we were gonna have to split the
Speaker 12: fine and then it getting billed to us. But I
Speaker 12: guess they never even they didn't I guess didn't care enough,
Speaker 12: were too lazy, didn't want to send us the bill,
Speaker 12: so I never got billed, but I still had to
Speaker 12: write a letter, right, I still got sent to Stanford.
Speaker 6: The boys never even sent you the bill. No, rat
Speaker 6: boys are the best.
Speaker 12: Yes, And I didn't have to pay five hundred dollars,
Speaker 12: which was amazing for my bank account.
Speaker 6: Yeah, from your bank account. You wouldn't have lost your parents.
Speaker 12: No, No, I have not told my parents. They still
Speaker 12: do not know to this day.
Speaker 6: That would have been I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think my kids would have told me and I
Speaker 2: would have said, well, that sucks for you that you
Speaker 2: have to pay it.
Speaker 6: I still think it's funny.
Speaker 12: Wait, yeah, I think my mom would have had the
Speaker 12: same reaction of that sucks for you and you have
Speaker 12: to pay that.
Speaker 6: But yeah, yeah, you know it's kind of funny.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of really kind of scary stories
Speaker 2: scary standards, so I actually appreciate hearing this one.
Speaker 6: Because it makes me giggle. It doesn't feel really that serious,
Speaker 6: and it's.
Speaker 2: Something that you would have absolutely done at your age,
Speaker 2: and I would probably do it to me.
Speaker 12: Yeah, and now you have a story, yes, exactly, a
Speaker 12: story that I'll have for the rest of my life.
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank you for coming on.
Speaker 7: Of course, thank you for having me ate it.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, now let's get into my standard story.
Speaker 1: So my standard story is a little different than the norm.
Speaker 1: It happened season eleven of Real Housewives in New Jersey,
Speaker 1: which aired in twenty twenty one. So in that episode
Speaker 1: of Real Housewives in New Jersey, my mom and Jackie
Speaker 1: were arguing.
Speaker 3: My mom heard a cheating rumor.
Speaker 1: And Jackie goes, that's like me hearing that Gia snorts
Speaker 1: coke in the bathroom att parties.
Speaker 3: My mother flipped out like that was. It was obviously
Speaker 3: like a.
Speaker 1: Very insane statement to make, regardless if it was an
Speaker 1: analogy or not, like you're talking about somebody's child and drugs, Like,
Speaker 1: there was just a lot wrong with that statement, and
Speaker 1: it blew up.
Speaker 3: So twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: One, it was my junior year of college and my
Speaker 1: friend was on Standards and Zeta got wind of it
Speaker 1: that this was out there, and they said to my friend,
Speaker 1: do you think we should call Gia in to standards
Speaker 1: to ask her one if I do coke in the
Speaker 1: bathroom and two.
Speaker 3: If she's okay?
Speaker 1: If she's okay, It was just kind of there, Oh,
Speaker 1: let's be nice, make sure that like her mental health
Speaker 1: is in check. They really wanted to know if I
Speaker 1: did coke in the bathroom, And my friend on Standards
Speaker 1: looked at them and just basically said, this is a
Speaker 1: bad idea. Gia is going to be so mad that
Speaker 1: you are bringing her mom's show and something that didn't
Speaker 1: involve her, but a comment was made about her, and
Speaker 1: now you're bringing that into her.
Speaker 3: College sorority life.
Speaker 1: My friend knew that I was going to be so pissed,
Speaker 1: so she warned me I was going to be pulled
Speaker 1: into standards. I was pissed, and I'm sitting on this
Speaker 1: zoom call with like a straight face, and they go, Gia, like,
Speaker 1: we saw what was what has been on the tabloids
Speaker 1: and what just aired on Bravo.
Speaker 4: Do you.
Speaker 1: Participate in doing the drug cocaine? And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I do not do coke. And they saw just how
Speaker 1: like unfazed I was and how pissed I was, and
Speaker 1: it kind of ended there. It was a very quick
Speaker 1: phone call, but it just annoyed me. That's something so
Speaker 1: avoidable and a very stupid comment that was obviously made
Speaker 1: on The Real Housewives in New Jersey affected me in
Speaker 1: my college life and just that people were talking about it.
Speaker 1: And also the girls in my sorority knew that I
Speaker 1: didn't engage in cocaine. They knew that I didn't do
Speaker 1: the drug. So it was just such a crazy statement
Speaker 1: and such a crazy question to ask me. You didn't
Speaker 1: have to bring me to standards for that. It would
Speaker 1: And they blamed it on NASH. They said that Nationals
Speaker 1: got involved and wanted them to clarify and just ask
Speaker 1: me about the topic, and I was like, also, you know,
Speaker 1: if you guys really knew me, and they all were
Speaker 1: out with me all the time at mixers day parties,
Speaker 1: like you knew the girls that did drugs or you
Speaker 1: like you just you knew. They knew that I never
Speaker 1: participated in any of that. So that's what got me
Speaker 1: even more mad, because I'm like, oh, what did you
Speaker 1: guys just get off on asking me something that had
Speaker 1: something to do with the Real Housewives in New Jersey.
Speaker 1: I just thought it was a very immature move, very
Speaker 1: immature thing, and they probably just were on their high
Speaker 1: horse for a minute and got off on it, but
Speaker 1: definitely annoyed me. But yeah, that was the only time
Speaker 1: I got called to standards, and I was so upset
Speaker 1: that I texted Jack E. Goldschneider about it afterwards, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I just got called to standards because
Speaker 1: of the comment that got that you made. And I understand, like,
Speaker 1: this is a reality TV show and my mom did
Speaker 1: something that hurt you, But I had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with what my mom did to you on the show.
Speaker 1: So I just didn't appreciate that you had to bring
Speaker 1: me into your argument, and now it costed in me.
Speaker 1: It was humiliating, you know, to be called to Standards
Speaker 1: for something that I didn't do and that I would
Speaker 1: never entertain or engage in. And I was like, this
Speaker 1: is it. This is just unacceptable. And she obviously apologized
Speaker 1: and she never wished for that to happen to me,
Speaker 1: and yeah, now me and Jackie are fine and all
Speaker 1: all is good. So this was our inside look into
Speaker 1: what the life of Standards is.
Speaker 3: I would say it's kind of a little.
Speaker 1: Government that runs sorority life and keeps everything in check.
Speaker 1: And that was it for this week's episode of Dirty Rush.