WEBVTT - 031823 What Does it Mean to Be an Ally? (Part 1)

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to another episode of Civic Cicher. I am your host,

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<v Speaker 1>Rams's joh is H. I am q Ward.

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<v Speaker 2>And you are tuned into.

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<v Speaker 1>Indeed, you are got a great show lined up for

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<v Speaker 1>you today. We're going to be existing very much in

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<v Speaker 1>the abstract. We were asked a very important question from

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<v Speaker 1>a person that we look up to, and we started

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<v Speaker 1>to say the least a couple of people shout out

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<v Speaker 1>to Jan and Ali and they're working with us on

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<v Speaker 1>some really amazing things that come honest, that are in

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<v Speaker 1>the pipeline, so stay tuned for that. We were really

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<v Speaker 1>excited to announce that, but now is not the time. Anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>The long and short of it is, we were asked

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<v Speaker 1>a question which led to a pretty insightful conversation, and

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<v Speaker 1>that question was what does it mean to be an ally?

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<v Speaker 1>And I loved kind of where we went with it,

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<v Speaker 1>where our brains went, and how we kind of articulated

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<v Speaker 1>what that means. We're going to do our best to

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<v Speaker 1>share that with you today because our assumption is that

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<v Speaker 1>if you're listening to this show, or if you program

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<v Speaker 1>this show, or you download the podcast, whatever it is,

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<v Speaker 1>that to some degree you hope that the world can

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<v Speaker 1>be a better place for black and brown people, and

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<v Speaker 1>you are working to wonder or another to try to

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<v Speaker 1>manifest that. And so we're going to spend a good

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<v Speaker 1>amount of the show talking about ally Ship. We're also

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<v Speaker 1>going to spend some time talking about Rosewood for our Way,

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<v Speaker 1>Black History Fact, and a whole lot of other stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>a lot to stick around for. And I'm excited because

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<v Speaker 1>these are the sorts of topics where we get to

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<v Speaker 1>really rather than read the news and kind of give

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<v Speaker 1>you our thoughts and what we can do about it.

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<v Speaker 1>This is more about you who you are as a person,

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<v Speaker 1>and this is the episodes like these are the most meaningful. So,

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<v Speaker 1>like we always do it, this time, let's go ahead

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<v Speaker 1>and start off with some Ebony excellence. Provided that Ques

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<v Speaker 1>on board, we shall. So for this week's Ebony Excellence,

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<v Speaker 1>just know it is sponsored by Hip Hop Weekly Media,

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<v Speaker 1>and we are going to shout out or we're reading

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<v Speaker 1>from Black Enterprise Magazine. So we're going to shout out

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<v Speaker 1>the founders of black owned eyewear line who made history

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<v Speaker 1>signing a licensing deal with Nickelodeon. So I will read

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<v Speaker 1>meet Nancy Harris and Tracy Green, the founders of Loontel,

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<v Speaker 1>the first black women owned iwear company to have established

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<v Speaker 1>a partnership with Paramount and Nickelodeon. Their licensing deal allows

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<v Speaker 1>them to exclusively make fashion forward eyewear products for kids,

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<v Speaker 1>using popular characters like SpongeBob, SquarePants, Baby Shark, and Rugrats.

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<v Speaker 1>For their accomplishments in business, they were recently featured on

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<v Speaker 1>The Kelly Clarkson Show. Nancy comments quote, we are thrilled

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<v Speaker 1>to announce our three year partnership with Paramount. We are

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<v Speaker 1>proud to be the first African American women owned eyewear

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<v Speaker 1>company to have such a deal. Bontel is committed to

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<v Speaker 1>creating eyewear that celebrates the African diaspora. Tracy comments. Bontel

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<v Speaker 1>was founded to satisfy the demand for better fitting, vibrant,

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<v Speaker 1>luxury eyewear design and handcrafted to be homage to the African,

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<v Speaker 1>Caribbean and Latin diaspora. Now, I want to say something here.

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<v Speaker 1>Ebny Excellence is a part of the show that we

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<v Speaker 1>really love because a lot of times when we get

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<v Speaker 1>to this part of the show, we have to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about a lot of things that are happening in our

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<v Speaker 1>communities and our struggles, and that sort of stuff, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's important to remind you that we were not just

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<v Speaker 1>born to struggle. We were born to laugh and enjoy life,

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<v Speaker 1>and to be creative, and to fall in love, and

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<v Speaker 1>to raise our children and to cry tears of joy

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<v Speaker 1>and sadness and ebony. Excellence I think provides a very

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<v Speaker 1>important dynamic to the show. So I appreciate you letting

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<v Speaker 1>us get that off every single week. If somebody was

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<v Speaker 1>to come to you and say I would like to

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<v Speaker 1>be an ally, how does that look to you?

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<v Speaker 2>I think the first thing that's important is it not

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<v Speaker 2>being performative. There is a tendency to very comfortably agree

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<v Speaker 2>with your friends, even when you don't wholeheartedly even understand

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<v Speaker 2>what you're agreeing with. Why they're hurt, why they're offended,

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<v Speaker 2>Why it feels like impression. I had a friend ask

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<v Speaker 2>me in the time where we're dealing very publicly with

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<v Speaker 2>the White Lives Matter trademark. One of us said something

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<v Speaker 2>about it being triggering. And this is a white friend

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<v Speaker 2>of mine, and she was very very confused as the idea, like,

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<v Speaker 2>why is that triggering to you? Why does the term

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<v Speaker 2>white Lives matter trigger you? This is a person that

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<v Speaker 2>not just someone that I know cares about me, but

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<v Speaker 2>that cares about my kids, that has invested in my

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<v Speaker 2>well being and is somebody that I call family. But

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<v Speaker 2>she was really like taken aback and confused at the

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<v Speaker 2>idea that that term would be something triggering or hurtful

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<v Speaker 2>to me. So taking the time to understand the why,

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<v Speaker 2>I think sets you up to be in a better

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<v Speaker 2>position where you're representing something that you also believe in.

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<v Speaker 2>Not just parenting my beliefs because you like me, not

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<v Speaker 2>just parenting my beliefs because you think that it's kind,

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<v Speaker 2>but actually understanding the why behind it. So me having

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<v Speaker 2>to explain to her what Black lives Matter means, where

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<v Speaker 2>it came from, why that affirmation was even necessary to

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<v Speaker 2>a group of people whose entire history has been oppression, marginalization, kidnap, murder,

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<v Speaker 2>and having all of that reinforced full time by the

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<v Speaker 2>infrastructure of the society that they live in. So not

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<v Speaker 2>just personal people's personal hatred, not just one to one

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<v Speaker 2>person to person racism, but the entire infrastructure of the company,

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<v Speaker 2>from government to policing to policy to education, reinforcing all

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<v Speaker 2>of these things that an entire group of people have

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<v Speaker 2>had to go through for their entire existence on this continent. Right,

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<v Speaker 2>having a system continue to show you that your life,

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<v Speaker 2>your posterity, your happiness, your existence is worthless. Right, Black

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<v Speaker 2>Lives Matter is simply reaffirming that we deserve to exist.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not saying that we should thrive and be prosperous

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<v Speaker 2>and pursue happiness. No, we even take it that far.

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<v Speaker 2>Is it okay for us to just exist here? Because

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<v Speaker 2>we're seeing ourselves murdered on video and even stin even

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<v Speaker 2>in that In that instance, your immediate reaction is to

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<v Speaker 2>convince people why we deserved it.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So let me jump in here. I think I

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<v Speaker 1>was once to ask this question. Uh. It was an

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<v Speaker 1>early episode of Civic Cipbert believe or not. One of

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<v Speaker 1>my neighbors came up because I think we had a

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<v Speaker 1>guest cancel, and he and I were having a good conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, you know what, you want to come

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<v Speaker 1>to my show? And he came up. I think that

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<v Speaker 1>you were This was I don't even know, but this

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<v Speaker 1>was early in again, and he asked me the same question, well,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, what can we do to support black people?

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<v Speaker 1>And I think what he was asking is how can

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<v Speaker 1>we be allies. How what does that look like? How

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<v Speaker 1>what does that look like? And so I recognized that

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<v Speaker 1>it's important to find what it is and then explain

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<v Speaker 1>how it looks. So, in short, if I was going

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<v Speaker 1>to use my own language appealing to somebody, one individual,

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<v Speaker 1>not a group, but one person, and I was to say, hey, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>I need some allyship, and they were to ask what

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<v Speaker 1>does that mean, I would start by saying, basically, just

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<v Speaker 1>just hold me down. Trust me when I say that

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<v Speaker 1>this is what it is. Value my perspective. Listen to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Step out of your own way and challenge the boundaries

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<v Speaker 1>of what you think empathy is, because everybody in their

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<v Speaker 1>own mind thinks that they can see it from the

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<v Speaker 1>other side. So challenge those boundaries. In fact, the things

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<v Speaker 1>that you feel are nonsense. Question why you might feel

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<v Speaker 1>that way, and ask questions toward that end to gain

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<v Speaker 1>more understanding, right, and then you'll be moving with the

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<v Speaker 1>why instead of just with the performative part that you

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<v Speaker 1>mentioned about just going through the motions. There's a why.

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<v Speaker 1>There's some substance there underneath your allyship. But that's why

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<v Speaker 1>that conversation was so important. You and I spoke about

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<v Speaker 1>this on our show before the words white lives matter,

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<v Speaker 1>just like black lives matter, should not be controversial or

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<v Speaker 1>offensive in any way, because, of course white lives matter.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's the why that term was even born that

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<v Speaker 2>I had to explain to her. So that's why I

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<v Speaker 2>had to paint such a vivid picture as to why

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<v Speaker 2>black lives matter even existed, so that when I came

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<v Speaker 2>back and said, yeah, white lives matter came just to

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<v Speaker 2>oppose what I just told you, just to say, no,

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<v Speaker 2>your lives don't matter. If they're not you don't they

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<v Speaker 2>don't have worth, you don't just to exist. And then

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<v Speaker 2>my white friend understood the why and felt as offended

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<v Speaker 2>as I did. And that was a much longer form

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<v Speaker 2>conversation than that. But after you get to the why again,

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<v Speaker 2>you said it, I'm saying it again. It's not performative

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<v Speaker 2>anymore understanding from the perspective of the people who are hurt,

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<v Speaker 2>of the people who are being marginalized, their why, because

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<v Speaker 2>in this instance it's not yours.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me add something else to I think that allyship requires.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're committed to growing and challenging your beliefs, you

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<v Speaker 1>have to also be committed to a long campaign of learning,

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<v Speaker 1>because what will happen is you will say, oh, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to support you. I think that this is a

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<v Speaker 1>good thing you're doing. I want to be I want

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<v Speaker 1>to be activated in a way, in a meaningful way

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<v Speaker 1>where I can support you toward whatever end you're pursuing.

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<v Speaker 1>And then when you're away from me and you get

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<v Speaker 1>around your friends again, they might get into your be like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, those guys are only doing that because of this,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know they're always saying that or did you

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<v Speaker 1>see this poll? And blah blah blah, And then now

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<v Speaker 1>you're like lost in the sauce again and you kind

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<v Speaker 1>of lose a little bit of steam. So you have

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<v Speaker 1>to be committed to a long campaign and bear in

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<v Speaker 1>mind that there are going to be some challenges along

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<v Speaker 1>the way. There's a lot of we did a whole episode,

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<v Speaker 1>you remember that episode we did on how data gets

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<v Speaker 1>manipulated and used against us, And there's a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people where they come across that, people who would be

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<v Speaker 1>allies or have been allies, or whatever the case is,

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<v Speaker 1>and they come across these things which are either half

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<v Speaker 1>truths or distortions or you know, distortions of the truths

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever. And because it's presented as complete and factual.

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<v Speaker 1>They and they receive it that way, and then they're like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh what am I doing? Man? Because you know, that's

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's a valid point. Even the Dilbert comic guy

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<v Speaker 1>him with that straw pole thing or the ras Musen

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<v Speaker 1>pole thing, we just talked about him saying, oh, black

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<v Speaker 1>people feel like, uh, what do you say it's okay

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<v Speaker 1>to be white? Yeah, that's la people exactly, And that's

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<v Speaker 1>not nearly the complete story. You know that there's there's

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<v Speaker 1>a weight to that statement that is particularly offensive and oppressive.

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<v Speaker 1>And our belief is that the response in that right

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<v Speaker 1>leaning rass Musen poll, which you know, uh, wasn't even

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<v Speaker 1>fully explained because there's at least three parts of every pole.

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<v Speaker 1>They only showed two, but even still it didn't color

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<v Speaker 1>in those lines. And it's no different from saying is

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<v Speaker 1>it okay to be white? And people's you know, having

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<v Speaker 1>an issue with that statement because it in and of

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<v Speaker 1>itself is a racist statement. I told you about the

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<v Speaker 1>group I'm Reddit I'm a part of, and the group

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<v Speaker 1>is titled It's Okay to Be White, and the group

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<v Speaker 1>is racist people, and we use this for fodder for

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<v Speaker 1>the show, right, it's similar to challenging what we talked

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<v Speaker 1>about as people. It is black power as a statement problematic.

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<v Speaker 1>Most folks Black folks would be like, no, not problematic

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<v Speaker 1>at all. I understand it. It means that, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>our community is galvanized around a cause of mission whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's the same group of folks. Is white power problematic?

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody be like yeah, totally because that phrase, even though

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<v Speaker 1>it's just one word change, that phrase is rooted in

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<v Speaker 1>the oppression of black people and the meaning, the meaning

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<v Speaker 1>behind it is very different. So again, this is it

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<v Speaker 1>okay to be white, sure, but the meaning behind that

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<v Speaker 1>phrase is not just the language. It's there's a deeper,

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<v Speaker 1>more sinister component that is not reflected in Erasmussen poll.

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<v Speaker 1>And the dober guy is completely shot off his track.

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<v Speaker 1>And then the people that feel like, well, look look

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<v Speaker 1>at the poll numbers. I get why he's saying that.

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<v Speaker 2>That data's presented that way for those people intentionally to

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<v Speaker 2>kind of light a match to their to their their

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<v Speaker 2>fuel if you will. But you spoke about committing to

0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:30.520
<v Speaker 2>like a long term journey of learning, challenging your own

0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 2>implicit biases, You're going to hear stuff that's wrong. That

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:37.800
<v Speaker 2>sounds like how you feel, and it'll make you want

0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:40.320
<v Speaker 2>to defend it. Right, So I told you, anytime I

0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 2>speak about it, speak out about our former president, people

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.200
<v Speaker 2>that I know reach out to me to defend him.

0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:49.720
<v Speaker 2>And I realized after the third or fourth person, Oh,

0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:55.440
<v Speaker 2>they're reaching out to defend themselves. I presented something that

0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:59.120
<v Speaker 2>they kind of agree with, or some part of what

0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:01.720
<v Speaker 2>he's saying or what he feels that they also feel.

0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:05.880
<v Speaker 2>I didn't say anything about his ideology. I just said

0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:10.640
<v Speaker 2>something about him essentially being a bad person. And by

0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:13.000
<v Speaker 2>this person reaching out to tell me all these great

0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 2>things he's done, it's like, oh, they feel like I'm

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 2>attacking them. It's in those moments of discomfort where you

0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:23.600
<v Speaker 2>really have to do some work. Because of implicit biases

0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.800
<v Speaker 2>and because of unlived experience, there are going to be

0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:29.480
<v Speaker 2>some things like, my friend, you are not going to

0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:32.800
<v Speaker 2>understand why people feel that way. You and I learned

0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:36.360
<v Speaker 2>that we had so much to do and so much

0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.320
<v Speaker 2>room to grow and learn with regards to being allies

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:47.280
<v Speaker 2>to women. This is Reverend Estella's son six sisters. You know, girl, dad,

0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, did we have a lot to learn.

0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:55.240
<v Speaker 2>So we could have saw these things, these points of

0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:58.000
<v Speaker 2>views that we oh man, I might have kind of

0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.760
<v Speaker 2>thought like that and held onto that and stood opposed

0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:04.360
<v Speaker 2>to women where we had to just say flat out no,

0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:05.280
<v Speaker 2>you're wrong too.

0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:10.120
<v Speaker 1>So I think you're nailing it right here. So I'm

0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.160
<v Speaker 1>glad you brought up the I'm assuming you're alluding to

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.640
<v Speaker 1>the me too movement. Watch this. I mean, yes, that's it,

0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:17.000
<v Speaker 1>and that's what started the conversation.

0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:20.120
<v Speaker 2>You're really talking about being allies to women in general.

0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:23.680
<v Speaker 2>We feel very short and doing our part.

0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:33.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So what does allyship mean? Ramses? Well, allyship means,

0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:41.360
<v Speaker 1>as I mentioned, I'm committed to the long term journey

0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:45.040
<v Speaker 1>with this group of people. That I'm not a part

0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:47.920
<v Speaker 1>of this group. I'm not a woman. But if they

0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:54.040
<v Speaker 1>say that's what they want, I follow their leadership. I

0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:58.480
<v Speaker 1>support in ways that they deem meaningful. Where I can

0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:03.480
<v Speaker 1>and where I can't, I challenge myself to try to

0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:07.080
<v Speaker 1>show up, make a sign, you know whatever. You know

0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:10.320
<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying. I'm always pushing myself to stand as

0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:12.600
<v Speaker 1>a brother to my sisters. That's a word that I

0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:19.560
<v Speaker 1>use that I mean, you know that, and that word

0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.960
<v Speaker 1>is a very special word to me because my dad

0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:28.959
<v Speaker 1>had twenty four other kids. So that's not something that

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.159
<v Speaker 1>I take lightly. That's not something that I don't know

0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:33.879
<v Speaker 1>nothing about. I am a brother, the big brothers, a

0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:35.960
<v Speaker 1>little brothers, big sisters and little sisters. You know what

0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:39.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying. And they all caught his phone and it'll

0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.480
<v Speaker 1>be cool. So when I'm saying that, is like, Okay,

0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.880
<v Speaker 1>what is allyship? What are you trying to do? How

0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.280
<v Speaker 1>can I be the best brother to you possible? Will

0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:52.840
<v Speaker 1>you please instruct me? And then doing that and being

0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:59.120
<v Speaker 1>committed to the long journey and maybe even being committed

0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:04.679
<v Speaker 1>to the outcomes that whatever group we're talking about in

0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:09.359
<v Speaker 1>this case, women want. And where I can make small

0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:11.600
<v Speaker 1>changes I do. Where I can make big changes, I do,

0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:15.040
<v Speaker 1>And if I can't, I bear in mind, then maybe

0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.720
<v Speaker 1>this isn't my fight. I need to let my sisters

0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:19.480
<v Speaker 1>fight this one. I need to sit back. I don't

0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:25.000
<v Speaker 1>seek recognition, you know. And it's not a matter of

0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:29.440
<v Speaker 1>waiting to be called. It's an active So be at

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.800
<v Speaker 1>the ready, but be at the ready to be called

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.359
<v Speaker 1>to greater tasks. Be ready to be called to greater

0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:39.400
<v Speaker 1>tasks as well. So again I'm not entirely sure if

0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:44.560
<v Speaker 1>that fits neatly in a little like a definition thing.

0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:47.199
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, if I have to expound, because you've

0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:49.320
<v Speaker 2>said a lot of what it means to me as well,

0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:53.879
<v Speaker 2>I'll just add to that. A lot of times we

0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:58.280
<v Speaker 2>let our lack of understanding cause us to take a

0:18:58.320 --> 0:18:59.960
<v Speaker 2>backseat and not participate at all.

0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:03.520
<v Speaker 1>That's not my fight. I don't really understand that, that's

0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:03.800
<v Speaker 1>not it.

0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:05.520
<v Speaker 2>So I'm gonna just cross my hands over here and

0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:09.560
<v Speaker 2>watch and observing is just as bad, you know what

0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:14.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean? Like, just observing passively and not actively working

0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:17.480
<v Speaker 2>to help resolve or help support that group that you're

0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:19.840
<v Speaker 2>not a part of, is just as bad. Don't be

0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:23.800
<v Speaker 2>a passivist be an ally, even while you're being educated,

0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:26.720
<v Speaker 2>even while you're trying to learn, be an ally, you

0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:30.479
<v Speaker 2>cannot let your ignorance paralyze you in a way that

0:19:30.560 --> 0:19:32.480
<v Speaker 2>you don't participate.

0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.399
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to hear something really cool? I just

0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.439
<v Speaker 1>made a connection. I want to see if it works.

0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:47.600
<v Speaker 1>All right, So we talk about white privilege, right, people

0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:52.320
<v Speaker 1>that enjoy white privilege are oftentimes in the best possible

0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:57.840
<v Speaker 1>position to be allies. Right. Sure, some people don't acknowledge it,

0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:01.680
<v Speaker 1>some people aren't aware of it. Whatever. But the fact

0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:06.560
<v Speaker 1>remains is that in the vast majority of circumstances, those

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:09.399
<v Speaker 1>who enjoy white privilege are in the best possible positions

0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:15.840
<v Speaker 1>to have that title of ally right now, the parallel here,

0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:17.840
<v Speaker 1>and I know we can't make a lot of parallels

0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:20.840
<v Speaker 1>to other movements because this is kind of ours, but

0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:23.240
<v Speaker 1>one that's in recent memory that we all kind of

0:20:23.280 --> 0:20:28.159
<v Speaker 1>know about is again the me Too movement. I learned

0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:33.320
<v Speaker 1>something that men have a certain privilege with respect to women.

0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:36.200
<v Speaker 1>One in particular, there's many, of course, but one in particular,

0:20:36.640 --> 0:20:41.600
<v Speaker 1>there are plenty, One in particular is testosterone. So what

0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:46.440
<v Speaker 1>I want to do is make a comparison testosterone white privilege.

0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:53.600
<v Speaker 1>You have an advantage in the shared spaces. Right, It's

0:20:53.720 --> 0:21:00.320
<v Speaker 1>less likely that I'm going to be challenged physically because

0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm a man, and as we know, men have a

0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:07.240
<v Speaker 1>lot in the way of strength. A man can kill

0:21:07.280 --> 0:21:13.159
<v Speaker 1>you very easily if he was committed kind of to

0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:19.600
<v Speaker 1>the cause, right because of testosterone. Those humans with less

0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:24.600
<v Speaker 1>testosterone as a rule, are less strong. Testosterone is the

0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:25.640
<v Speaker 1>thing that kind of falls.

0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:30.199
<v Speaker 2>Out, less aggressive, n likely to cause you physical on

0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:30.479
<v Speaker 2>and on.

0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:38.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So because I have been endowed with testosterone. If

0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:46.320
<v Speaker 1>I am somewhere and I witness another individual with testosterone

0:21:47.200 --> 0:21:54.760
<v Speaker 1>taking advantage of particularly physically, another person does not have testosterone,

0:21:55.920 --> 0:22:00.000
<v Speaker 1>and that fight is not fair. And in my mind,

0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:03.200
<v Speaker 1>in this scenario this is a man abusing a woman,

0:22:04.160 --> 0:22:08.120
<v Speaker 1>I cannot, as you said, throw my hands up and

0:22:08.200 --> 0:22:13.240
<v Speaker 1>say that's not my fight. It could be physical, or

0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:17.760
<v Speaker 1>it could be you know, some other invisible system, be

0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:21.479
<v Speaker 1>it employment, be it representation, be it you know, anything

0:22:21.560 --> 0:22:26.800
<v Speaker 1>like that. Right, But because I'm in the best possible

0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:32.800
<v Speaker 1>position to challenge that testosterone laden individual, it is my

0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:39.320
<v Speaker 1>responsibility to do so. Otherwise I could not call myself

0:22:39.359 --> 0:22:42.160
<v Speaker 1>an ally and for me Ramses in particular, I could

0:22:42.200 --> 0:22:49.280
<v Speaker 1>not call myself her brother. So that's a great parallel.

0:22:49.880 --> 0:22:57.240
<v Speaker 1>I think now anybody that was trying to figure out

0:22:57.440 --> 0:23:04.240
<v Speaker 1>what messaging they could take away from, or what the

0:23:04.240 --> 0:23:08.919
<v Speaker 1>thrust of this campaign is or should be, what are

0:23:08.920 --> 0:23:16.480
<v Speaker 1>the like the main takeaways. If I had to fire

0:23:16.560 --> 0:23:23.639
<v Speaker 1>off some ideas, I would want people to walk away

0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:32.920
<v Speaker 1>from really anything that we do, feeling capable, because it's

0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:41.520
<v Speaker 1>really easy to psych yourself out right feeling committed. I

0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:46.679
<v Speaker 1>would want people to feel like change is possible. I

0:23:46.680 --> 0:23:48.640
<v Speaker 1>would want people to feel like it's okay to make

0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 1>a mistake, because remember, you're dealing oftentimes as an ally,

0:23:54.320 --> 0:23:58.520
<v Speaker 1>you're dealing with a group of people who have been hurt.

0:23:59.560 --> 0:24:04.679
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes even when you're helping individuals who've been hurt,

0:24:05.760 --> 0:24:09.840
<v Speaker 1>they you got to warm up to them a little bit.

0:24:09.880 --> 0:24:12.440
<v Speaker 1>You got to recognize that a lot of times their

0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:15.320
<v Speaker 1>pain comes from places that is not you, and it

0:24:15.400 --> 0:24:18.520
<v Speaker 1>might be directed in your direction. It's a thing that happens.

0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:20.720
<v Speaker 1>But again, you're committed to the long term, not to

0:24:20.760 --> 0:24:21.840
<v Speaker 1>the individual, but to the.

0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:24.200
<v Speaker 2>Cause, and that pain might also come from a place

0:24:25.119 --> 0:24:30.119
<v Speaker 2>or more specifically, a person that you resemble, and initially

0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:32.359
<v Speaker 2>you don't know the difference, right, I can it to

0:24:32.400 --> 0:24:36.360
<v Speaker 2>someone that's drowning, a person that's trying to pull them down,

0:24:36.400 --> 0:24:38.560
<v Speaker 2>and a person that's trying to save them feels the same.

0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:43.960
<v Speaker 2>They're in panic, they're afraid, a trauma based response. Yeah,

0:24:44.040 --> 0:24:46.840
<v Speaker 2>they don't yet know the difference. Sometimes they will fight

0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:49.760
<v Speaker 2>you for trying to save them too. You have to

0:24:49.760 --> 0:24:52.320
<v Speaker 2>be committed to that. Ask lifeguards, I did that job before.

0:24:53.280 --> 0:24:56.120
<v Speaker 2>I have to commit to saving this person who might

0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:58.600
<v Speaker 2>be actively trying to harm me because they don't know

0:24:58.680 --> 0:24:59.200
<v Speaker 2>any better,