Speaker 1: All right, So I'm laying in bed now. I'm doing
Speaker 1: my first podcast in bed because I had a colon
Speaker 1: oscoby today and I don't know why I make everything
Speaker 1: into something that's funny, because because what else are we
Speaker 1: supposed to do? So last night no one talks about
Speaker 1: colon osciby's. I've decided that I'm the person that should
Speaker 1: be my name should be starting with a sea, which
Speaker 1: all which we all know what we could name me.
Speaker 1: But because caviar, chanel, chicken, salad, candy, my assistant me
Speaker 1: had just pointed out that I'm the queen of the season.
Speaker 1: Now colonoscoby is another sea. Because I don't know why
Speaker 1: I felt that it was a good idea to post
Speaker 1: a fit check for my colonoscopy, but it ended up
Speaker 1: being a good way to say to people, you know what,
Speaker 1: colon health is important. We get mammograms like your colon
Speaker 1: is very import and it's literally where falla well my
Speaker 1: phone keeps I'm a disaster in case anyone on this
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast, so we might keep the shit
Speaker 1: in as you know, what a shit show I am.
Speaker 1: But it's important to think about your colon health. And
Speaker 1: they tell you how often you have to get them.
Speaker 1: There's a schedule. I'd gotten them in my thirties because
Speaker 1: I have had chronic constipation my whole life, and in
Speaker 1: my thirties they told me I had a long and
Speaker 1: tortuous colon after a colonoscyby, like it's like a rollercoaster,
Speaker 1: and that's why I had digestion issues. Now I take
Speaker 1: these gummies, these grooons gummies that I have that are
Speaker 1: in a little packet that the brand sent them to
Speaker 1: me to try. And I first thought, it's just gummies
Speaker 1: in a packet and they dose differently, meaning so you
Speaker 1: have to take eight and I've been taking them and
Speaker 1: I first thought, great, I'm taking my vitamins. But then
Speaker 1: I was like thinking my digestion was like I was
Speaker 1: attributing it to something else. And then I realized, it's
Speaker 1: these gummies. And that's not even their main like claim,
Speaker 1: like they don't talk about that. It's on the back,
Speaker 1: but it's like that's a headline for me. So anyway,
Speaker 1: and that got verified because today when I got my colonoscopy,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what they said. But so, all right,
Speaker 1: so the prep is something that most people don't talk about.
Speaker 1: If you know. If you've had it done, you know,
Speaker 1: but if you haven't had it done, you don't. I
Speaker 1: just learned in the comments that you could take pills
Speaker 1: to do this. But basically the day before the colonoscopy,
Speaker 1: you can only drink clear liquids. And that means like
Speaker 1: you could do like they say, crystal light lemonade or
Speaker 1: get clear gatorade, Italian ices. I got the liquid Ivy
Speaker 1: grape flavor hydration packets and I think they had a
Speaker 1: lemon lime because it comes out pretty clear. I did.
Speaker 1: You can do apple juice. I drankle apple juice yesterday.
Speaker 1: I did some like ginger kombucha because it was like
Speaker 1: almost clear color. I did. It's important because they don't
Speaker 1: give you all these options, and when you're doing it,
Speaker 1: it's like overwhelming. You're like, I want to be able
Speaker 1: to have things. I did lemon popsicles and Italian ices
Speaker 1: and coconuts and coconut water, so and you know you
Speaker 1: get so at night, for me, you could take a pill.
Speaker 1: I don't know why some people choose the pill, but
Speaker 1: at night they give you this powder and it was
Speaker 1: you have to take it at like six o'clock and
Speaker 1: you have to drink it within a certain period of time.
Speaker 1: I think it's the first time, like within an hour.
Speaker 1: You have to drink this sixteen ounces with this powder
Speaker 1: mixed together, and it comes and it becomes almost like
Speaker 1: a very sweet, slightly thick like syrupy. They call it free.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter a fucking flavor. It could be fruit punch,
Speaker 1: it could be shit punch. It's it's not tasting like
Speaker 1: fruit punch. That don't get excited. It's almost annoying that
Speaker 1: they call it that because you're like, you can call
Speaker 1: it fucking cotton candy and you can call a fuagras.
Speaker 1: It tastes like syrupy medicinal aspar tame or something. It's
Speaker 1: just like extreme and first to be like it's not
Speaker 1: that bad, but after it's just like, what are we doing.
Speaker 1: It's just like drinking like a lot of bad cough
Speaker 1: syrup or something, but it's not as thick. So you're
Speaker 1: supposed to stay at home because you're gonna be using
Speaker 1: the restroom because you're going to be cleaning out your
Speaker 1: system because they can't look at your call and if
Speaker 1: it's not cleaned out, and so that's why they tell
Speaker 1: you like days before, like no blueberries, no seeds. There
Speaker 1: are certain things that probably like interrupt whatever they're looking for.
Speaker 1: They need like a clear view. So at six o'clock
Speaker 1: you did it, and you're like, wait, it's not happening.
Speaker 1: It's not happening. It's almost like a hash brownie in Amsterdam.
Speaker 1: You're just like, it didn't kick in yet. So I
Speaker 1: was like, and years ago I got one, Like I said,
Speaker 1: I've had a few, and they said to me, I
Speaker 1: went under anesthesia, went into it, we got out and
Speaker 1: they're like, you have to come back. You're full of shit.
Speaker 1: Like I had done the procedure or the cleaning process,
Speaker 1: and I still was so full of shit, which speaks
Speaker 1: to my constipation. Back then it was like not great
Speaker 1: and speaks to now how how I'm doing. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so and now I think back that I fucking went
Speaker 1: and had to come back. That's a nightmare. That's a nightmare.
Speaker 1: That was almost that's like me going to the Apprentice
Speaker 1: for one whole week, becoming the runner up, not getting it,
Speaker 1: and having to go back again. The most tortuous week
Speaker 1: of my life, not as tortuous as my as my colon,
Speaker 1: and it's not tortuous it's tortuous. I say tortuous. It's tortuous, okay,
Speaker 1: like windy. So at six o'clock I drink this stuff
Speaker 1: and nothing's happening. I go to bed, but I'm like
Speaker 1: trying to stay up to see if I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to stay up because I'm gonna have to use the restaurant.
Speaker 1: Nothing happens, So I go to bed really late, which
Speaker 1: is also annoying because I know I have to get
Speaker 1: up at five o'clock because I have to do more
Speaker 1: of this. So I go to bed really late, and
Speaker 1: two thirty it starts acting up a little, not crazy,
Speaker 1: but a little. So then at five thirty and I'm thinking, fuck,
Speaker 1: what if this prep doesn't work again? So at five
Speaker 1: thirty you have to get up and you have to
Speaker 1: drink the sixteen ounces with a liquid within a half
Speaker 1: an hour. And I managed to do that, but that's
Speaker 1: annoying because you're not guzzling. It's you're like up at
Speaker 1: five o'clock in the morning, like just up for a
Speaker 1: half hour. So I managed to do that. I managed,
Speaker 1: and that then it was a little bit active, like
Speaker 1: it was like oh God, and it's it's like it's
Speaker 1: not horrendous, but you need to be by the bathroom.
Speaker 1: So then I got back to sleep, slept, went in
Speaker 1: and had and I did a fit check outside. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I wearing? Because I wanted to be able
Speaker 1: to say to the people like this what I'm wearing.
Speaker 1: And oh, also it's important to go get a colonoscope
Speaker 1: because of your health, and you know, you need to
Speaker 1: know what's going on everywhere in your body, Like that's
Speaker 1: a big, big part of your body that you should
Speaker 1: know what's going on. And so you know, we don't
Speaker 1: have to be squeamish about you know, I'm not a
Speaker 1: potty humor person at all. I don't like any sort
Speaker 1: of bodily discussions about things. I don't at all. This
Speaker 1: is different. This is like medical and there are words
Speaker 1: that I'm using and choosing for the way that I
Speaker 1: talk about it because I want to get the message across.
Speaker 1: So I do a fit check and I go there
Speaker 1: and everybody's happy at this place that I was at,
Speaker 1: they were so nice. It was in Stanford. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I posted about it, I think, and they got to
Speaker 1: kick out of every single person they recognize me. Of course,
Speaker 1: I'm not surprised. It's it's a lot of female nurses
Speaker 1: in there and doctors, and they were like, I'm a
Speaker 1: big fan. I'm like, great, you're gonna be up my
Speaker 1: ass soon. But anyway, it was like it was a
Speaker 1: good environment and I tried to make it fun. Like
Speaker 1: everyone's so somber, you know. I did happen to see
Speaker 1: a guy in shorts on the way in, which will
Speaker 1: be discussed in dating X because I don't understand like
Speaker 1: a man is maybe be wearing polo shorts, polo shirt
Speaker 1: and shorts in fucking March, Like it's like the person
Speaker 1: who rushes the convertible, Like we get it. Relax. So
Speaker 1: I walked in and everyone's just so happy, you know,
Speaker 1: like and I was like, let's make this positive, like
Speaker 1: the MI ladies laugh, like why not? Why not make
Speaker 1: kalmus could be experience positive. I like to make things
Speaker 1: positive because we're gonna have miserable and miserable we're going
Speaker 1: to have your fucking system cleaned out and looked at
Speaker 1: and go under anesthesia, which I also find positive. Anesthesia
Speaker 1: is a nap. We could slice it however you want.
Speaker 1: It's a fucking nap. I wasn't not worried about, you know,
Speaker 1: my lack of sleep buzz and I'm like, I'm getting
Speaker 1: a nap of a lifetime. And they say it like
Speaker 1: the effects of anesthesia are way deeper than sleep. So
Speaker 1: like I don't know what that means and what scientists
Speaker 1: figure that out, but like I don't know. So I
Speaker 1: was jacked up. So I go in and I filmed it,
Speaker 1: not the colonoscopy, but just like going into the gown,
Speaker 1: just like making it stupid and funny whatever. And so
Speaker 1: I got a kolonoscopy and she came out and she said,
Speaker 1: you have two polyps. I don't really know what they're
Speaker 1: like growths, they could turn into bad. They just gonna
Speaker 1: analyze them and then they tell you later they buy
Speaker 1: op see them. I think it is or But she
Speaker 1: took them out and she said you have She said,
Speaker 1: I like when we get confirmation of like medical things
Speaker 1: that other people have said about you, like you get
Speaker 1: a little attention. Does that make any sense? Like I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: I do have a long and torture and I have
Speaker 1: a reason to have things that are different about what
Speaker 1: I go through that get a little attention, Like I
Speaker 1: also have very low blood pressure, get a little tension,
Speaker 1: like I have drastically low blood pressure. We get a little,
Speaker 1: we get little flex a little on that. So I
Speaker 1: have low blood pressure and a long tortuous colon. I
Speaker 1: get to put those on my resume. She said, it's
Speaker 1: a rollercoaster. Yeah, I am special. So she then says,
Speaker 1: but it looked pretty good like it was. It looked
Speaker 1: pretty clean, and and she said to keep taking your vitamins.
Speaker 1: And I felt like good about what I was doing.
Speaker 1: I was like, yay. So anyway I did it, you
Speaker 1: don't have to do for another four to five years,
Speaker 1: some people to three. I don't know what dictates that.
Speaker 1: I don't know what age, but if you do have
Speaker 1: serious constipation or digestive issues, you should get one. Like
Speaker 1: if you have issues I guess, I don't know, digesting
Speaker 1: dairy or bloating and different things going on in your gut,
Speaker 1: you should get a call on oscabay. So it's not
Speaker 1: something that's just for older people. So that's just my
Speaker 1: daily health report and my daily public service announcement about
Speaker 1: your all health. And I feel good about myself. And
Speaker 1: it's giving supermodel, it's giving de bloated, it's giving good
Speaker 1: skin it's giving one day of clear liquids. I'm an
Speaker 1: anti dumpster. It's it's I feel like I have a
Speaker 1: cleaner colon than anyone else, and everyone's jealous of my
Speaker 1: fucking colon. So I have a clean coll and you welcome.