1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: The show is on, is stay or go? All right? 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 2: Max is here, turning to a likely source for advice. Hi, Max, 3 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 2: how you doing? Hey? 4 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 1: Hey, I'm all right. How are you guys? 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Max here, we are to help you, 6 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 2: so Staigo, you can hit us up Fred Shirt radio 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 2: dot com, you can d m us and all the 8 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,479 Speaker 2: different socials which Max did. What's going on with your 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 2: with your girlfriend? 10 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 3: Yeah? 11 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: I appreciate your guys' help. 12 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 4: And I know it's gonna sound harsh what I'm about 13 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 4: to say, so just you know, no no judging. 14 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 2: So if this is about Jimmy Kimble, hang up. If 15 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 2: this is about Jimmy Kimble, hang up, I'm not We're 16 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 2: just I'm not doing it Max. I'm not doing it 17 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 2: with you. Max. I'm not doing it with you. I 18 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 2: just want to be clearing me. Okay, good, all right, 19 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 2: because I'm not doing it with gay. 20 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 4: No, No, you don't need to it's not about. 21 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: That, Okay. 22 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 4: So I started dating a girl about five six months ago, 23 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 4: and I really like her. I'm not going to say 24 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 4: her name just out of you know, respect for her privacy. 25 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 4: But there's one issue I'm running into over and over again, and. 26 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: That is actually her health. I don't know how to say. Okay, 27 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: she has she has severe I B S. 28 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, and that I don't mean to laugh, but 29 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 4: it affects pretty much every aspect of her life, and 30 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 4: now it's kind of affecting mine since we've been together 31 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 4: all these Now, why did. 32 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: You call my name out? Why would you do that? 33 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: I was looking at Jason, who was laughing at this. 34 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: Called you called him out because I'm signing in trouble. 35 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: Did I look over kicking out of and then she 36 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: calls him out? Okay, I think the same. Well I 37 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: was gonna say, Jason, Jason has this issue. Okay. 38 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 2: So so she I don't even know how to appropriately 39 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 2: describe I B S. It's so she needs to access 40 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 2: a bathroom room regularly needs and this is this is 41 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,559 Speaker 2: not a fun thing. And I feel bad for anybody 42 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 2: who encounters a Kiki and Jason. Okay, So she has 43 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 2: this issue. 44 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: And you know that. So why is this a problem 45 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: for you? 46 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 4: Exactly just like you said, it's not fun. See's the 47 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 4: bathroom everywhere we go, everywhere we go, every place we go. 48 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 4: She's got to figure out where's the closest bathroom every 49 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 4: place we eat, You've got to know the menu ahead 50 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 4: of time, make sure she can eat something there. And 51 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 4: there's just a lot of places we can't go together, 52 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 4: Like we can't I can't take her to whatever, the 53 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 4: theme park festival. So it's because of the bathroom situation, 54 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 4: and we can't travel so many places, and so it's 55 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 4: just becoming a lot. 56 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: I don't know as the months go on, and I 57 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: and I feel bad. 58 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 4: I really like her, but you know, I know there's obviously, 59 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 4: like there's no cure for ibs. You know, the only 60 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 4: things you can do to prevent flare ups. And I 61 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 4: just you know, there's a lot comes with it, and 62 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 4: I didn't expect it and it would be the rest 63 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 4: of my life. And I just don't know, Like I 64 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 4: don't know if I'm I'm. 65 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: Okay, so far enough. Yeah no, So I'm sorry to interrupt 66 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: you with Max. 67 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,360 Speaker 2: So, you're your girlfriend has this this condition that that's 68 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,519 Speaker 2: limiting to her lifestyle in a lot of ways. Not 69 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 2: people live with this and and they deal with it. 70 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 2: But you're saying that for you, the limitations may sort 71 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 2: of you are already are a burden to you, or 72 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 2: may forever be a burden to you. I hate to 73 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 2: use the word burden, but you know, for whatever reason, 74 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 2: for various reasons, rather you think it's holding you back, 75 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 2: and so you're asking yourself, and you're being honest and transparent. 76 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 2: Is this something that I want to deal with for 77 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 2: the rest of my life? Like, do everywhere we go? 78 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 2: Do I want to have to consider these things? Do 79 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 2: I want to be limited to where we can go 80 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 2: and what we can do? And and you know things 81 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,119 Speaker 2: you brought up theme parks and festivals and things like that, 82 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 2: and so you're asking yourself, this is just something I 83 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 2: can commit to you for the rest of my life. 84 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 4: Because you got it exactly so terrible. But that's what 85 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 4: I'm asking. 86 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think the reason that this is not, 87 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 2: I meant is not an easy thing right to consider, 88 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 2: but I think there is. It's not coming to you naturally. 89 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 2: I'm beginning to my gut tells me that the answer 90 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 2: is no, you can't and you're not going to. And 91 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: there's your answer. I hate to say it. That's just 92 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: me being honest. The fact that you're considering this, the 93 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 2: fact that you wrote us, the fact that you're calling 94 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 2: and I'm not judging you for this. I mean again, 95 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 2: I appreciate the transparency. I feel like the fact that 96 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 2: you're thinking about this is already saying to me, this 97 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 2: isn't something that you want to deal with and you 98 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 2: want someone to tell you it's okay. 99 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 4: Oh I mean god, maybe I mean I really like 100 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 4: or I like spending time with her. 101 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 1: It just kind of. 102 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 2: Affects everywhere we go because I wonder, I wonder if 103 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 2: if you were just head over heel. And again, I 104 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 2: don't know, I've never dealt with this before, but I 105 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 2: wonder if you were, you know, if you were sure 106 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 2: about this relationship, and you were sure about every aspect 107 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 2: of it, then maybe I don't know, my gut tells 108 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 2: me that you wouldn't see this as a barrier. That 109 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 2: means that you would eliminate her from your life or 110 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:02,919 Speaker 2: and the relationship. 111 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 1: That's what you're talking this is not. 112 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 2: Is it really something to leave off because you need 113 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 2: a little alone time in the bathroom? And see, I 114 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 2: don't know the answer eight five five five nine three five. 115 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 1: I don't know. 116 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 5: I've not minimizing ibs. Oh yeah, I think. 117 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 1: It's really severe like that. 118 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think so, Yeah, Well, I'm not minimized. 119 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 2: I don't I don't know. I don't know. I've never 120 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 2: dealt with this. I've never known anyone to be super communicative, 121 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 2: and I know I've know people who have dealt with it. 122 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 2: No one's ever fully communicated to me their issues or 123 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 2: said to me, hey, we can't do X y Z 124 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 2: because of it. But it sounds to me like the 125 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 2: cost benefit doesn't work for you. That's what that's that's 126 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 2: what my gut is telling me about this situation. 127 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: And it's really severe. Ibs. I think there's different levels 128 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: of it. She's got really severe. Okay, all right, well 129 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: let me again. 130 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 2: There are people out there listening who have perspective on this, 131 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 2: who either deal with it or have dealt with it, 132 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 2: and I'd rather hear from them because I don't. I 133 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 2: don't have enough information to really be able to speak 134 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 2: on this. But I think that if you weren't really 135 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 2: sort of strongly contemplating ending the relationship, then I don't 136 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 2: think that this phone call would even take place. That's 137 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 2: that's that's what I'm and I'm not judging you for that. 138 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: That's just that's where I am on this. It's you 139 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 2: wouldn't call us and have this conversation with us. If 140 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: that were becausetherwise, I think you would just we wouldn't 141 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 2: have to talk about it. It would just be it's 142 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 2: something that you'd have to deal with and that that's 143 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 2: a shame. But that's that's where I'm at. Let me 144 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 2: take some phone calls, Max, have a good day, thanks 145 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 2: for calling. 146 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah. 147 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 2: I mean, look, and again, this is this is his 148 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 2: it's his life and his feeling and and and he 149 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 2: has every right to live his life how he wants to. 150 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 2: I just think he's looking for validation because I think 151 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 2: we've probably all encountered folks in our lives who have 152 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 2: different situations that are limiting or complicated, and we have 153 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 2: to make a decision if it's something that we want 154 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 2: to deal with, you know, together, And I think if 155 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 2: the answer is yes, then you just do it. If 156 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 2: the answer is maybe or no, then you start asking 157 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 2: other people what you should do, right, Yeah. 158 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: Because you don't know, right, you would think you'd be organic. 159 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,360 Speaker 1: I guess that's where I'm getting it. 160 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 2: Like like what you said, like if it's something you 161 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 2: would you wouldn't even question it. 162 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: It would just be something that you would accept and 163 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: like keep it moving. I guess that's what I That's 164 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,239 Speaker 1: what I mean, judgment or Shade's exactly. 165 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 2: Everyone has their preferences and what they can deal with 166 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 2: and what they can exactly. But he's calling up here, 167 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 2: you know, looking for some feedback, and my feedback is 168 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 2: you're asking us because you already know. 169 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: Hey Donna, hy Hey Donna. Okay, So I have to 170 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: be honest. 171 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 2: It says on the screen Donna in parentheses has IBS. 172 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: So yes, I just you're I'm. 173 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 2: Not going to call you IBS Donna, but you know 174 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 2: that's what it says on the screen, and it might 175 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 2: forever unless we are RecA part that says has IBS. 176 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 2: So I just want to say thank you for your 177 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 2: freeing candid and we really appreciate that about you. 178 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 4: Donna. 179 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, good. 180 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 6: Yeah. 181 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 7: So I have IBS and IBD. 182 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: So I have cron disease as well. 183 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 8: And so it's been severe. It's a severe saying it's 184 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 8: something you have to deal with. But honestly, I feel 185 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:06,239 Speaker 8: like he should go for her sake. I'm married, I've 186 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 8: had I've been with my husband since high school. He's 187 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 8: seen it all, through everything I've gone through, and he's 188 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 8: always been supportive. So if this dude isn't able to 189 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 8: be supportive and is worried about having him find a 190 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 8: different restaurant for a different bathroom, that's just crazy. 191 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 6: And she honestly she does not he did not deserve her. 192 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, because I want to. 193 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 2: I hope you don't and you can tell us, but 194 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 2: I hope no, you don't feel that we're trivializing this 195 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 2: at all. You know, his perspective is that this is 196 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 2: limiting to him and I and my thought is that 197 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 2: he's focused more on how this limits him than how 198 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 2: much he values her, and that tells me everything I 199 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 2: need to know about what he thinks about this relationship. 200 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 1: No, yeah, exactly. 201 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 8: I feel like a lot of people, I mean, I 202 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 8: don't I don't get offendedive people minimize it or trivialize it, 203 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 8: but I feel like a lot of people. 204 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 6: Don't understand the severity of it. 205 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 8: Sure, and like he was even saying, there are different 206 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,439 Speaker 8: levels to it, So she might have something that's to 207 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,599 Speaker 8: per severe, whereas like some people might just have a 208 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 8: stomach ache. 209 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 6: Every once in a while. But if he's not willing to. 210 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 8: Work through that or like deal with there, it's really Honestly, 211 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 8: it's really not that hard, Like finding a bathroom. 212 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: It's easy. 213 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,719 Speaker 8: I look at the menus before we go anywhere, and 214 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:26,199 Speaker 8: if it's something that I can't have, like my husband's. 215 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: Willing to like adapt to it. Okay, there's so many options. 216 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 8: So if this is a deal breaker or a possible 217 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 8: deal breaker for. 218 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 6: Him, he just should go and not even waste her time. 219 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 1: There you go. 220 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: Hey, Donad, thank you and thanks for calling in for 221 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:43,319 Speaker 2: the transparency and authenticity. Appreciate that. Yeah we have today, Yeah, 222 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,079 Speaker 2: you do appreciate it. See it again, Like, I don't 223 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,080 Speaker 2: know anything about this. So the fact that you're calling 224 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 2: and a lot of people are texting and you know, 225 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 2: being very transparent about their journey with the two, I don't. 226 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 2: I don't, I don't know. I've not dealt with this. 227 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 2: So I'd rather hear from you, is it, Reeve? Yes, Hey, 228 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 2: good morning, welcome. So you heard the guy max on 229 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,959 Speaker 2: waiting by the phone or excuse me on U stare go. 230 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 2: This guy, you know, he's been dating a woman and 231 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 2: she has IBS and he feels it's very limiting to 232 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 2: her and he's not sure if he can do it 233 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 2: for the rest of his life if he can not 234 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 2: go to festivals. In this case, it was an example 235 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 2: that he used her in theme parks. Apparently, you know, 236 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 2: it's a big problem. 237 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: What do you think? 238 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 7: Okay, I found it really interesting. My girlfriend has chronic 239 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 7: health issues. So for me, like I was just hearing him, 240 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 7: I was like, oh wow, it sounds like he's really 241 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 7: not ready to be in a relationship at all. Because 242 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 7: for me, to love someone is to consider them, to 243 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 7: consider them like always, and it just sounds like he 244 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 7: doesn't want to consider her. And it's like I can 245 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:46,959 Speaker 7: appreciate that it's dis aicole or whatever, but you know, 246 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 7: I don't know. It sounds like he just wants someone 247 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 7: that's like less curious, more about flaying whatever. 248 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,080 Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, I feel like everybody comes with 249 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 2: something right. And I'm not going to list things because 250 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not equating one with another, but we 251 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 2: all we all come with things right, and I think 252 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 2: we all as we're dating and meeting people, we have 253 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,839 Speaker 2: to make the determination whether those things are things that 254 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,680 Speaker 2: we want to deal with or we don't, and that's 255 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 2: our choice. And he might be missing out on an 256 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 2: amazing person because he feels inconvenienced. That's on him, I guess. 257 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 2: But better that he identify that and move on and 258 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 2: let her move on and find somebody else. Then I 259 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 2: suppose continue to tread water on this because he's obviously 260 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 2: thinking about it. 261 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: What's that I said? 262 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 2: Yeah there, Reeve, thank you for calling him, for listening. 263 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: Have a great day. 264 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 2: Yeah you too, Joanna, Hi, Joanna, Hey, good morning. 265 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: So you this dude's already got one foot out the door. 266 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:46,679 Speaker 3: You think, absolutely in two seconds of hearing his story, 267 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 3: I'm like, he's already at the door. He just wants 268 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 3: us to tell him it's okay. Not to be fair. 269 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 3: As someone in my safeties and who's single, I always 270 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 3: ask about chronic illnesses before I get too far into it. 271 00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: Oh do you Okay? 272 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 2: So you know a couple of dates and you're like, hey, 273 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,719 Speaker 2: so what about anything deadly going on? 274 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 4: Yeah? 275 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 3: No, kind of sort of like if they're like got 276 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 3: a whole list of meds that they're on and they're sick, 277 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 3: and yeah, I don't want I don't want to deal with. 278 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 1: That, Okay. I mean that's you're right. 279 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,959 Speaker 7: I suppose you got to like get into that before you. 280 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 3: Fall in love with him. But if he's already been 281 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 3: dating her and he's feeling like this, then he doesn't 282 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 3: love her enough. 283 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 2: I can't believe I'm the one making this argument, because 284 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 2: I tend to be a little sort of not cold, 285 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 2: but unemotional about things. But you know, who's to say, Joanna, 286 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 2: you don't fall in love with someone who also happens 287 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 2: to have these issues, like you're preventing yourself from. 288 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 3: You ask first? 289 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,199 Speaker 2: But but is that how love works? I'm asking. I 290 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 2: don't hate all people. I don't know, but I mean, 291 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 2: is is that how it works? Like? I can't fall 292 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 2: in love with you because you you you might die? 293 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, you just remove yourself from the acquaintance. 294 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 2: Okay, well, I mean, hey, that's you're right. I guess 295 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 2: the way that I understand love would be that I 296 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 2: fall in love and then those are challenges that we overcome. 297 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 2: But maybe that's a Hallmark movie. Maybe that's something I 298 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 2: saw with Rebecca Remains Demos or something with them. 299 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: Have you been burned by this to fall in love? No? 300 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 3: Not at all? 301 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 1: Okay, yes them? Yeah again, this is her right? I mean, 302 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,559 Speaker 1: you fall in love with you now you're about that? 303 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 4: That? 304 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:22,079 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Ye that's terrible. That's an awful thing. 305 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:22,719 Speaker 1: That's bad luck. 306 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 3: Before you fall in love. 307 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,680 Speaker 1: She had dealt with this already, and she don't. 308 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 7: Know what maybe I have. 309 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 3: I have been burned, but in just like family and 310 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,679 Speaker 3: personal life, not so much as a partner. 311 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you feel like people were taken from you 312 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 2: or something. No, there's always more of the story here, 313 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 2: and I appreciate you calling. You have a good day. 314 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 2: You know, I can understand that. You know, you fall 315 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 2: in love, you felt like somebody was taken from you early, 316 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 2: and or you felt I don't know, like like you 317 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 2: were shorted in some way, and then you don't want 318 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 2: to deal with that again. So you you sort of 319 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 2: block that. You prevent that from happening in your. 320 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,439 Speaker 5: Life because like if you have been a caretaker, it's 321 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,760 Speaker 5: a lot, and so maybe people would be a little 322 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 5: gunhy about going into that situation again. 323 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 2: My mom loves my dad deeply, Like they have a 324 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 2: wonderful thirty five years. They've been through ups and downs 325 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,560 Speaker 2: and whatever. But my mom would tell you in front 326 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 2: of him, he's twelve or twelve years older than she is, 327 00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 2: and now you know that she's her age and he's 328 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 2: his age. She would tell you, if she had to 329 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 2: do over again, she wouldn't choose somebody who's that much 330 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 2: older because she's having to sort of you know, everyone's 331 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 2: getting older now, and it's happening for him faster because 332 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 2: he's older. Again, This is no slam on him, and 333 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 2: she's not slamming it when she's saying it. But you know, 334 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 2: when people look back on life, I think it's like, well, 335 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 2: I probably would have chosen someone my age or younger 336 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 2: even I mean, that's not how love works. I guess 337 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 2: It's the point I was making to her is you 338 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 2: fall in love with who you fall in love with. 339 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 2: But you know, odds are she's going to be present 340 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 2: for his aging process before hers, and that's hard to watch. Yeah, 341 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 2: So I see what she's saying. It just sounds a 342 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 2: little harsh. 343 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 1: Hi Jenna, Hi, Hi, good morning. 344 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 2: So you you've been in this situation before I have. 345 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, And I actually feel like such a horrible person 346 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 6: with what I'm going to say after all of these No, nobody. 347 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 2: Should feel like a horrible person like, yeah, this might 348 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: be one of our last years. You know, for one 349 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 2: reason or another, either the raps coming from one place 350 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 2: or it's coming from another I don't know, but no, 351 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 2: I mean, look, I wanted to be really clear here, 352 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 2: Like this guy called he was transparent, people are calling, 353 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 2: They're being honest. Everyone's entitled to whatever their limitations are 354 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 2: or however they want to live their life. And even 355 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 2: if it doesn't sound good. I never want to make 356 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 2: anyone feel bad. Well I shouldn't say anyone. Occasionally I 357 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 2: want to make you feel bad for being a moron, 358 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 2: but not you, Jenna. 359 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 6: Go ahead, yeah, so, I mean so I definitely feel 360 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 6: like after what I was listening to, like love is 361 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 6: not enough all the time, and like there's so many 362 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 6: different fish in the sea, and there's so many different 363 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 6: situations that fit for different people. 364 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 7: So for me, you know, like I. 365 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 6: Mean, I'm a single mom, I'm dating, and I don't know, 366 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,359 Speaker 6: I'm a foodie, Like I love going out to restaurants 367 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 6: and eating like all different types of food. And like 368 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 6: the guy who you know, I was just went on 369 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 6: some dates with he could only eat like chicken fingers 370 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 6: and mazzarellistics, and you know, like I just don't know 371 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 6: if that's what I want for the rest of my life. 372 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 6: And I think that's okay to be Like, no, that's just. 373 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 1: Not what I want. 374 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 7: So yeah, his. 375 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 6: Stuff was limiting, and I mean I didn't take it, 376 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 6: like I kind of cut it off at the beginning 377 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 6: because I knew that wasn't right for me. But I 378 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 6: don't know just I mean, I think he is looking 379 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 6: for validation, so I want to validate him, and just 380 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 6: being like, if this doesn't work for your lifestyle, just 381 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 6: that's okay, Like there is going to be somebody else 382 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 6: who works for her lifestyle and your lifestyle and for me, 383 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 6: just the fact that he could only eat off the 384 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 6: kid's menu, you know. 385 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,680 Speaker 2: Just and Jenna, I don't I'm not putting I said 386 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 2: this earlier, I'll say it again and people still won't 387 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 2: hear it. But I'm not I'm not putting all these 388 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,960 Speaker 2: things on the same level, like it's different health versus 389 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,640 Speaker 2: versus lifestyle versus whatever. I'm not saying these are all 390 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 2: the same. But how how would you feel? And I'm 391 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,400 Speaker 2: sure it's happened to you where you've met men since 392 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 2: you're dating and you're a single mom who has said, hey, 393 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 2: I don't I don't necessarily I like you, but I 394 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 2: don't necessarily want what comes with your obligation as a parent. 395 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 2: I mean, how does that make you feel, because because 396 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 2: you're sort of saying the same thing. 397 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 6: Thank you so much for just letting me know, because 398 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,840 Speaker 6: I get it, you know, like I want someone who 399 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 6: wants all of those things. But just like the girl 400 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 6: who I was just listening to, like, yeah, maybe prerequisites 401 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 6: are smart, especially when you're like a little bit older. 402 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,160 Speaker 2: So you're not being a hypocrite about this, Jenna, You're 403 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 2: being You're open minded about the fact that people need 404 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 2: different things for their lives. 405 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 6: Yeah, one hundred percent, you know, And I would much 406 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 6: rather someone be like, Listen, I like you who you are, 407 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,159 Speaker 6: but I'm not ready to, you know, step in and 408 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 6: for me. Listen, I've got a great situation, you know, 409 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 6: So I'm not looking for some of this stuff and 410 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 6: being dad. But I one hundred percent like that comes 411 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 6: with you know stuff, So I am much more Just 412 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 6: let me know, because again, there are just too many 413 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,440 Speaker 6: fish in the sea. 414 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 2: Because Jen, I think about this as a single guy 415 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 2: in my in my mid forties. It's like, I'm probably 416 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 2: not having kids of my own. The demographic, there's a 417 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,239 Speaker 2: demographic of people that I would date who have been 418 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 2: married and have kids, And I think about that like, 419 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 2: I'm not opposed to one or the other. 420 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: I was that kid, right, I was adopted. 421 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 2: I was that kid at one point my my dad 422 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 2: chowse to marry my mom and then take us all 423 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 2: in as his family and treat us as his own. So, 424 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 2: I mean, I've been through this, but I think about it, 425 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 2: like my life would change drastically if I fell in 426 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 2: love with someone who had a kid, But like, would 427 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 2: I limit myself from falling in love with that person? 428 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,239 Speaker 2: I would like to believe no, But I mean if 429 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 2: I'm married or dated somebody or was with someone as 430 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,360 Speaker 2: a partner who didn't, then my life looks completely different. 431 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: So I don't know it's right. 432 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 2: But am I a bad person if I choose not 433 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 2: to date the person with a kid? And I don't 434 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 2: think I'm a bad person, but I mean, you say 435 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 2: it out loud, it kind of sounds bad. 436 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: But listen, no, we all have choices, right may Yeah, Jenna, 437 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 1: thank you. I appreciate you. Have a good day you too. 438 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 2: Oh well, Oh okay, I misread that someone said I 439 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 2: thought I said my wife has cancer, I'm leaving her? 440 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 2: You know, it was what if she gets cancer? Will 441 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,639 Speaker 2: he leave her? Is what? It says I misread that. 442 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, oh my, we're taking this call 443 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 2: so I can thought destroy this human being. 444 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:42,679 Speaker 1: But I'm not going. I don't have to because is 445 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 1: that what it said? Perfect? 446 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 5: I think the difference is like this guy is getting 447 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 5: into something knowing what comes with this person. And if 448 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,520 Speaker 5: you are in love with someone and marriage to them 449 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 5: for years and they get cancer, it's a different story. 450 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,159 Speaker 1: And I agree with the last caller. Love is not 451 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: always enough. 452 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 5: You can have love, but there can a lot of 453 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 5: things that come with a person that it just doesn't 454 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 5: work for long term. 455 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: And that's also okay, you know, just