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Speaker 1: My fiance left me at the altar. Four years later,

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Speaker 1: he's come back to tell me why he did it.

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Speaker 2: That seems like twisting the knife a little bit, you know, like,

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Speaker 2: not only did I leave you at the altar, but

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Speaker 2: I left you at all of the altar because you're stupid.

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Speaker 1: Woo. It's about four years ago. I female twenty nine,

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Speaker 1: was supposed to be getting married to my fiance at

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Speaker 1: the time.

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Speaker 2: J Dude, screw this guy. Everyone whose name starts with

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Speaker 2: a J utter trash, facts, utter trash in the comments.

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Speaker 2: If your name starts with the J, we're coming for

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Speaker 2: you this right. Everything was going so perfect. I was

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Speaker 2: in my dress, I had my makeup on, and I

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Speaker 2: had taken the pictures with all of my bridesmaids. I

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Speaker 2: was pretty much ready to walk down the aisle when

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Speaker 2: Jay's best man pulled me to the side and he

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Speaker 2: told me, you.

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Speaker 1: Got some spinach in your teeth. Just kidding us, Oh,

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Speaker 1: he's he said, your fiance is gone really split?

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Speaker 2: How much an dating? I can't imagine standing someone up

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Speaker 2: at like a restaurant of someone I've dated for a

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Speaker 2: couple of years, let alone just like creating a wedding. Crazy.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's like an arranged marriage, or like at least

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Speaker 1: bare minimum call the night before. Yeah, so everyone, isn't

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Speaker 1: there some freaking respect, you know what I mean? Come

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Speaker 1: on your wedding. The night before he had gotten into

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Speaker 1: a car and left and no one was able to

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Speaker 1: get a hold of him. Wow, yikes. Wow. I came

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Speaker 1: home to our apartment and all of his stuff was gone.

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Speaker 2: Yo, premeditated. Wasn't like he just got cold feet. Like,

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Speaker 2: this is bitch town, bro.

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Speaker 1: If you're moving boxes, that is like a movie or something. Damn.

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Speaker 1: Yet he still didn't plan it in his logistics to

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Speaker 1: tell her more than twenty four hours in advance. You

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Speaker 1: don't leave a note the note on the on the

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Speaker 1: pew or like the like sorry not getting married br

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Speaker 1: br br B, except I'm never coming back. I ended

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Speaker 1: up going on our honeymoon with my best friends, which

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Speaker 1: was the best decision ever. I can honestly see that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, but it's a good friend. She must.

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Speaker 2: I would be crying, would I would be in here

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Speaker 2: so bad, I would be drinking mimosas and just and

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Speaker 2: just bawling by.

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Speaker 1: But THOSEMSA would be good. And then I put myself

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Speaker 1: in therapy to heal the horrible trust issues I now

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Speaker 1: have rightly, so like y and I haven't heard from

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Speaker 1: him once until today. I love it today. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: love a present day. We are, we are in the moment,

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Speaker 1: we are in the movie. This would be a great

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Speaker 1: movie scene.

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Speaker 2: It would yeah where it's like like she's crying at

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Speaker 2: the altar and I decided I would never trust men

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Speaker 2: again and become a boss babe.

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Speaker 1: And then and then.

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Speaker 2: She's like like climbing the corporate ladder. She becomes a

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Speaker 2: high powered lawyer. And then four years later and she's

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Speaker 2: in this like like high rise apartment of a very

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Speaker 2: important client af to defend Mark Zuckerberd. Like if there

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Speaker 2: was a trailer, is like she's a high powered lawyer

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Speaker 2: that doesn't have time for no man. He's a deadbeat

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Speaker 2: dad that just searching for love again.

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Speaker 1: And then this is how that and then here it is, well,

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Speaker 1: you just took us on a journey. Uh, I guess

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Speaker 1: he got back in contact with an old mutual friend

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Speaker 1: who gave him my number. Why are you trying to

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Speaker 1: hurt this girl? True Jay texted me and wants to

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Speaker 1: meet up and apologize. Okay, all right, he says, he

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Speaker 1: has a lot to explain to me about what happened

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Speaker 1: that day, and I am torn.

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Speaker 2: No shit, sirlock man has a freaking dictionary length book

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Speaker 2: to write on how much of an ass hat he

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Speaker 2: is actually freaking waffle? Oh what a waffle. Someone the

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Speaker 2: comments called me a waffle. I just think it's a

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Speaker 2: brilliant insult man. Honestly, Okay, give us your best shot

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Speaker 2: right now, guys.

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Speaker 1: You I have to be honest. You guys, come up

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Speaker 1: with some hilarious stuff. Just destroy me, go for me,

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Speaker 1: roast me completely right now. I want to see what

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Speaker 1: you guys got. I swore Jay was a dead memory,

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Speaker 1: but my curiosity and desire to get closure with him

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Speaker 1: is pestering me.

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Speaker 2: Oh of course, Like I'm not gonna you don't not

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Speaker 2: take up that.

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Speaker 1: That mean you can't. It's like a car crash, you

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Speaker 1: can't look.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my current boyfriend supports me in whatever I decide,

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Speaker 1: and I feel, out of my respect to him and

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Speaker 1: how wonderful he's been, I should just ghost Jay. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well that makes it complicated if you have a boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: That it does. I'm very confused and I never expected

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Speaker 1: to hear from Jay again. I have no idea what

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Speaker 1: to do?

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Speaker 2: Please help, yike. I mean, I would love to hear

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Speaker 2: what all of y'all would go.

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Speaker 1: To the situation.

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Speaker 2: I actually have two perspectives that I'm curious about perspective

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Speaker 2: what would you do from the perspective of ope? And

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Speaker 2: then also as the boyfriend as OPE, like damn, I

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Speaker 2: want some closure.

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Speaker 1: Definitely as the.

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Speaker 2: Boyfriend, like not that I would be sweating, but like

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Speaker 2: she almost married this guy, there's gonna be there's gonna

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Speaker 2: be feelings that are rekindled.

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Speaker 1: Oh, as oh he's current boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know what he's feeling because it's

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Speaker 2: like like, like you want to be supportive. And I

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Speaker 2: think as the boyfriend, if I was in that situation,

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Speaker 2: I'll be like, girl, you do you because I would

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Speaker 2: probably be secure in the relationship. Yeah, But if I

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Speaker 2: wasn't secure, I would be sweating, yeah, because like that's

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: That much pain. I would just be just because of

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Speaker 1: the toxic relationships. That is, people do be toxic. People

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Speaker 1: be toxic all the time.

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Speaker 2: People go go back to the most toxic of my

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Speaker 2: relationships and of people.

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Speaker 1: That's true.

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Speaker 2: So hopefully it seems like op has a good head

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Speaker 2: on her shoulders.

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Speaker 1: But what would you do? Uh, you're in luck because

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Speaker 1: there's an update. Oh. So, first off, I want to

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Speaker 1: thank everyone for the advice. I honestly wrote this post

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Speaker 1: just to vent my frustration and confusion and possibly get

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Speaker 1: some advice. I honestly forgot about the post for a

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Speaker 1: few days until my sister and I were talking and

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Speaker 1: she mentioned she saw a post from a girl getting

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Speaker 1: left at the altar and her ex showing up again

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Speaker 1: years later. Yo, she saw her post. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is like reminds me of you. It's like, bro,

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Speaker 1: that is actually though. Yeah, I saw this person in

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Speaker 1: her life was trash, like it was garbage. I told

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Speaker 1: her the post was mine, and she's been pushing me

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Speaker 1: to do an update post. I figured that it might

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Speaker 1: be therapeutic to write everything down as final closing of

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Speaker 1: the Jay chapter. And this all went down two weeks ago. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm so curious. What is this man's excuse it's about.

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Speaker 1: It's about to get juicy against most of the advice

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Speaker 1: I did meet up with Jay.

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Speaker 2: As a lot of you said, a lot of people

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Speaker 2: said to not do it. It sounds like it I

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Speaker 2: would have. I would have said, I probably if I

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Speaker 2: was commenting, other probably.

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Speaker 1: Said yeah, I can't not like I would do it,

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Speaker 1: so I cannot suggest. Yeah, but I get I get

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Speaker 1: the rationale for why not you. Also, it was part

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Speaker 1: of a twelve step program of him making amends.

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Speaker 2: That's why he reached out. I don't know if that

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Speaker 2: makes you feel better or worse about it.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing, is like, it's not the closure can

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Speaker 1: oftentimes be for the aggressor or whatever, not the victim

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Speaker 1: or whatever.

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Speaker 2: The term is exactly. Yeah, so you know, good for

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Speaker 2: him forgetting me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Try, I mean, I guess, I guess anyone can try. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: We met up at a park and my boyfriend came

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Speaker 1: with me. Oh, that's an interesting thing. That's interesting. My

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Speaker 1: boyfriend sat off to the side while Jay and I talked. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I actually feel stupider after meeting with him. Why. There

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Speaker 1: were a lot of things in our relationship that would

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Speaker 1: have had me out of the door if I paid

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Speaker 1: more attention and if he wasn't such a great liar. Basically,

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Speaker 1: for the last year of our relationship, he was doing

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Speaker 1: substances and cheating on me. He had been struggling with

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Speaker 1: his sexuality for years, and it's not surprising it ended

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Speaker 1: up the way it is now knowing the truth, if

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Speaker 1: you're picking up what I'm putting down, Oh my man

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Speaker 1: loves man.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that was I did not expect that twist at all.

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Speaker 1: M wow. And he was struggling with with substance abuse

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Speaker 1: at the same time in the last year of their relationship.

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Speaker 1: That is so confusing, right, It completely changes the dynamic

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Speaker 1: of the whole. Well, not piece of shit. It's still yeah,

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Speaker 1: piece of pie, a piece of shit. There's like that's

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Speaker 1: that's you know, he's not just like h I saw

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Speaker 1: some smoke and hub babe with beefcakes on.

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Speaker 2: Her rear end, and you know, yeah, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: I have more sympathy. I guess I have a little

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Speaker 2: bit more sympathy because he was struggling with his sexuality.

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Speaker 2: But he still piece of ship. But I can't excuse

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Speaker 2: the actions. But like you know, you know, if you

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Speaker 2: if he's coming from maybe a conservative background or like

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Speaker 2: you know, he already just doesn't accept himself, which it

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Speaker 2: seems like he didn't. Like, yeah, I understand, you understand more. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but also all that shit garbage, Yeah you're a little garbage,

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Speaker 2: but wow, closer for sure. Yeah, yeah, I would. Actually,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I feel I think I would

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Speaker 2: feel better because it's not you basically yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's like like she was probably thinking, like what did

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Speaker 2: I do wrong?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because there could be like there's Redden stories you

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Speaker 1: read it's like, oh, like you just weren't you were

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Speaker 1: just weren't doing it for me, blah blah blah, and like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: chose to leave him at the altar with that, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: his family is incre homophobic and are horrible people. I

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Speaker 1: wanted nothing to do with them when we were together,

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Speaker 1: but he insisted on them being around just for big

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Speaker 1: life events like our wedding. The substances were something to

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Speaker 1: get him through the day and act like he was

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Speaker 1: in love when he actually was in love with someone

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Speaker 1: else whoa He had met his boyfriend at work, and

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Speaker 1: I actually met him a few times when I would

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Speaker 1: drop Jay off for lunch, so he was having a

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Speaker 1: whole other yo affair. Yo, dude, it gets crazier, No,

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Speaker 1: it does it. I mean I'm saying that part was crazier,

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Speaker 1: but I met me. When our wedding approached, his boyfriend

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Speaker 1: said he needed to choose between me or him.

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Speaker 2: Ultimatum, dude, ultimato yo.

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Speaker 1: So it's crazy. It is. So he packed his bags

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Speaker 1: up and pretended everything was great until his boyfriend picked

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Speaker 1: him up and they moved two towns over. So basically

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Speaker 1: he put on a whole facade only two towns over.

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Speaker 1: That's like, bro moved to Brazil.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm thinking like, yo, I moved to Costa Rica

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Speaker 2: or something, or like.

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Speaker 1: If she's visiting a friend or you're going back and

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Speaker 1: you just like.

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Speaker 2: They think, like I feel like people like two towns

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Speaker 2: over is it's a town, it's close. Yeah, that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: That is absolutely crazy. Wow. Wow, now here's here's here's another.

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Speaker 2: Here's another line. It's kind of shocking.

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Speaker 1: I asked him if he was still with his boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and he said no. So the relationship he you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean obviously he wasn't attracted with her to begin with,

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Speaker 1: but like the whole thing that like caused all that

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Speaker 1: pain and all the thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean, like honestly, honestly, better for the

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Speaker 2: relate like her the wedding to fall apart, then for

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Speaker 2: her to be like that twenty years down the line,

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Speaker 2: then find out and then find out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he thought he could quit the substances once

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Speaker 1: he was free of his family and lying, but he

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Speaker 1: could not. His boyfriend found out and left him. He

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Speaker 1: kept going, getting high and hooking up with random people. Well.

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Speaker 1: He apologized for not just being honest with me and

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Speaker 1: leading me on like he did, and he wished he

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Speaker 1: could go back in time and be truthful because I

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Speaker 1: would have been one of the most accepting people about

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Speaker 1: his sexuality. He said he missed me when he left

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Speaker 1: because even though he didn't love me or romantically, I

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Speaker 1: was his best friend. Ooh just ah, I mean.

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Speaker 2: Right, oh right, Fuck, dude, that is so confused.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot. It was a lot to take him.

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Speaker 1: I told him. While I'm glad he's okay and he

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Speaker 1: is doing better, I would prefer for us not to

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Speaker 1: have any contact moving forward, but I do forgive him.

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Speaker 1: He said he understands, and he was only in town

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Speaker 1: for a few more days and he'd be gone for

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Speaker 1: good soon again, I'll admit. When I got home, I cried,

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Speaker 1: that's a perfectly reasonable thing to do. My boyfriend held

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Speaker 1: me in ordered to be my favorite takeout. He's been

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Speaker 1: really the best and didn't pressure me to talk about

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Speaker 1: anything until I was ready. So if I got anything

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Speaker 1: out of the worst day of my life, it's led

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Speaker 1: me to who I'm with now.

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Speaker 2: Boyfriend current boyfriend. Sounds like a total win. Dude, congrats

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Speaker 2: op on that.

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Speaker 1: Crap. It's gonna be one of my favorite stories there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean just insane. And I found the story and

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Speaker 1: completely forgot what happened. So I was like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was on for the journey. I know this man. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so what do we learn? What do we learn? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so if you get left at the altar, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be great.

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Speaker 2: Guys, get left to the altar, move past it. They

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Speaker 2: were like they were a piece of shit, right, So

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Speaker 2: move past it yourself a nice good boyfriend. If you

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Speaker 2: are that new boyfriend and your current girlfriend gets hit

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Speaker 2: up by the guy that left or at the altar,

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Speaker 2: I think they did the total right thing. I like,

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Speaker 2: now thinking about it is like say, like, dude, babe,

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Speaker 2: what have you got to do?

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Speaker 1: You know? Get I think he uh went with her,

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Speaker 1: but was like completely like completely out of earshot.

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Speaker 2: I think that's fine. That's and I think maybe he

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Speaker 2: went there just as support for her.

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Speaker 1: And justin you know, like just in case, like hey,

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Speaker 1: we're going to be on this bench. Just go like

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Speaker 1: in the reading the car or something, we give us

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Speaker 1: some space.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, boyfriend W. And then also forgiving, like in W

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Speaker 2: for forgiving, big W for forgiving. And also to the

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Speaker 2: to Jay you know, toll piece of shit, but less

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Speaker 2: so for uh going through the twelve steps and apologizing

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Speaker 2: and and giving some something terrible is now doing work

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Speaker 2: to become better. So you got you can give him that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's all you know, That's that's all we can ask. Right,

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Speaker 2: the passes the past, you can only be better from there,

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Speaker 2: that's right,