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Speaker 1: Now here's a highlight from Coast to Coast am on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: And welcome back to Coast to Coast George Nori with you,

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Speaker 2: Brenda Night Back with Us. Began a career at HarperCollins,

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Speaker 2: the book publisher, working with people like Mary Anne Williamson

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Speaker 2: in the Dali Lama. She was awarded Indie FABS Publisher

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Speaker 2: of the Year Award in twenty fifteen. Author of a

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Speaker 2: number of books, including the Book of Abundance, she also

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Speaker 2: teaches at the San Francisco Writers Conference and serves as

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Speaker 2: president of the Women's National Book Association, the San Francisco chapter. Brenda,

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Speaker 2: welcome back. Have you been good.

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Speaker 3: I'm so happy to be here. You know, I planned

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Speaker 3: on listening tonight and then here I am.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you are happy Thanksgiving. It's great to have you

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Speaker 2: with us again.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm psyched.

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Speaker 2: When we talk about gratitude, what does that mean to you?

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Speaker 4: What gratitude means to me is it's sort of a

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Speaker 4: mindset or just a or a mindfulness really instead.

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Speaker 3: Of like I mean, you know, go back to the cliche.

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Speaker 3: Your glass can either be half full or it can

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Speaker 3: be half empty. And it's easy for us to think

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Speaker 3: our cups are half empty or maybe even completely dry

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Speaker 3: and empty. But in truth, there's so many things to

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Speaker 3: be grateful and just take a moment and think about

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Speaker 3: what the good things in your life. So it's a

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Speaker 3: mindfulness and it's very very easy to get there.

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Speaker 2: Next hour, we'll take calls from our great listeners about

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Speaker 2: gratitude stories or questions for you, and I bet they'll

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Speaker 2: be all kinds.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I can't wait.

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Speaker 2: You have what you called the sixty second gratitude reset.

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Speaker 2: What is that?

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Speaker 3: That is where you stop what you're doing and you

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Speaker 3: think what am I grateful for right now? And if

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Speaker 3: you have a pen and paper, George, you should write

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Speaker 3: it down. But if you don't, just think about it,

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Speaker 3: maybe even like say it out loud to yourself, and

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Speaker 3: it turns everything around in one minute. And actually I

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Speaker 3: did that right before I came on the show, and

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Speaker 3: I was, you know, I'm just so grateful to be

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Speaker 3: here with all this community and with you, and like

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Speaker 3: the holiday coming, and so I'm deeply grateful to be

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Speaker 3: here in this moment.

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Speaker 4: And then also I wanted to say thank you George.

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Speaker 3: And thank you Coast to Coast because a really cool

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Speaker 3: book project came to me from the last time I

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Speaker 3: was here. But maybe that's another topic or another time,

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Speaker 3: another show, because it's a life after death book that

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Speaker 3: is sort of already changing my life. But anyway, I'm

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Speaker 3: so grateful to be here and the blessings that come

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Speaker 3: to you after being on coast to coast.

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Speaker 2: Well that's amazing, and thank you, Brenda, but you deserve it.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: You have a story of it is this. We'll get

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Speaker 2: into the story in a second, but this sixty second

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Speaker 2: gratitude reset. How many gratitude items do you? Think about it?

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Speaker 2: Write down as many as you can?

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Speaker 4: Three? Actually, like if you only have.

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Speaker 3: One, like one big one in the moment, like that's

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Speaker 3: good enough, but like three is sort of the magic number.

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Speaker 3: But I guess if you really, you know, get start

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Speaker 3: going to town, like you could write down more and

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Speaker 3: then you know, then you're going to end up in

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Speaker 3: an even more place of gratitude and even more place

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Speaker 3: of satisfaction and contentment. I want people to get reclaim

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Speaker 3: their contentment.

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Speaker 2: Can you break it down as well by professional life,

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Speaker 2: personal life, business, family? Can you do it in segments

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Speaker 2: like that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a very good way to do it.

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Speaker 3: Although I sort of like to when you're just getting started,

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Speaker 3: because especially if in you've had a rough day, where

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Speaker 3: we all have rough days, especially recently, so you know,

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Speaker 3: just sort of just think what comes into your mind

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Speaker 3: immediately for the very start, but then you can you

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Speaker 3: can go by areas in your life, you know, starting

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Speaker 3: probably with the people in your life, because like at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, and I think at the

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Speaker 3: end of your life, it's the people in your life

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Speaker 3: that bring you the most joy, the most gratitude, and

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Speaker 3: to be the most thankful about. But like being grateful

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Speaker 3: for having a home, being grateful for having a job,

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Speaker 3: being grateful for good friendships, pets you love.

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Speaker 4: Like maybe you have a garden that you love.

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Speaker 3: Whatever it is, like, just take the time to really

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Speaker 3: consider it, write it down.

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Speaker 4: And actually, my garden.

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Speaker 3: Is one of the things that I am most grateful

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Speaker 3: for in my life because you can sort of see

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Speaker 3: that your effort like come to life and I have.

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Speaker 3: I'm actually sitting of course it's dark now, but I'm

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Speaker 3: sitting at my desk and I'll stop every once in

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Speaker 3: a while i'm working and just do what I call

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Speaker 3: garden gazing, and it brings me such a sense of peace.

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Speaker 4: So that's something we all need to do too.

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Speaker 3: Find what brings you peace and contentment and a sense

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Speaker 3: of gratefulness, and hang on to it and.

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Speaker 4: Explore it further.

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Speaker 2: Brenda. At the end of the program every night i'm on,

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Speaker 2: I give thanks to various members of our team at

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Speaker 2: Coast to Coast and I do that for a couple

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Speaker 2: of reasons, but the main reason is I'm really thankful

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Speaker 2: with gratitude for what they've contributed to the program to

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Speaker 2: help me make it what it is.

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Speaker 3: They're doing a fantastic job. I mean, I'm grateful to

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Speaker 3: them too. They're so professional and they make you feel

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Speaker 3: you know, anyone that's going to come on Coast to Coast,

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Speaker 3: which is a you know, it's an international radio show,

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Speaker 3: and like so they make you feel so comfortable and

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Speaker 3: just that it's going to be easy breezy, and because

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Speaker 3: of their their good work and.

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Speaker 4: You it is easy breezy.

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Speaker 3: I got over feeling nervous in about sixty seconds.

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Speaker 2: My family understands the need to do this program as well.

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Speaker 2: For example, I'm going to my granddaughters tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 2: In the entire family is going to be there, but

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Speaker 2: they know I can't stay there that long as I'm

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Speaker 2: doing a live show tomorrow night on Coast to Coast.

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Speaker 2: But they appreciate that and they understand that. But it

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Speaker 2: simply listen, and they listen absolutely. But what so great

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Speaker 2: about this program and what I'm excited about, is I

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Speaker 2: made a pledge when I came in here almost twenty

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Speaker 2: three years ago. Hard to believe it's been that long

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Speaker 2: already that if a holiday falls on a day I'm working,

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Speaker 2: I will be live, or if it falls on a

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Speaker 2: day I'm not working, someone will be live. It will

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Speaker 2: not be a take program. And I do that for

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Speaker 2: one single reason, Brenda. There are a lot of lonely

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Speaker 2: people out there who don't have family, and this program

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Speaker 2: has become their family, and I don't want to let

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Speaker 2: them down.

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Speaker 3: They definitely are family, and I love that. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I feel like the part of the Coast to Coast family.

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Speaker 3: And I've had lonely times, I believe when when I

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Speaker 3: was here last time, I talked about when my husband

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Speaker 3: passed away right before the pandemic, and the San Francisco

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Speaker 3: shelter and place laws were so strict that I was

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Speaker 3: literally alone, and so I listened to a.

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Speaker 4: Lot of Coast to coast, and I.

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Speaker 3: Definitely know that you feel like you're part of a community.

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Speaker 3: So you have built you and your team have built

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Speaker 3: an incredible community. And also when I first moved to

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Speaker 3: San Francisco, I was pretty much I didn't know anybody,

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Speaker 3: and so the first Thanksgiving was the first holiday that

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Speaker 3: I spent here in my new home of the San

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Speaker 3: Francisco Bay area, and I was an orphan, and some

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Speaker 3: kind person that I met knew that I probably was

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Speaker 3: going to spend Thanksgiving alone, and so they invited me,

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Speaker 3: and I was so incredibly grateful, And so I try

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Speaker 3: to make the tradition of inviting somebody that you know

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Speaker 3: is going to be alone to Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 2: We have a lot of regular callers in addition to

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Speaker 2: first time callers and brand new listeners. But we have

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Speaker 2: one regular caller who a couple of years ago called

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Speaker 2: Tom and myself on the show and he told us

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Speaker 2: that he had a glucose level of a thousand. One

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Speaker 2: hundred and fifty is high. A thousand, you're you're a

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Speaker 2: walking cadaver. And we told him get to the hospital

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Speaker 2: right now, and we weren't fooling around, and he went

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Speaker 2: to the hospital, got it taken care of, and I

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Speaker 2: think we saved his life. But he understands that and

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Speaker 2: he calls on a very regular basis. I guarantee you

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Speaker 2: he'll probably call later on to talk to you.

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Speaker 4: Oh well, I can't wait to talk to him. Good job.

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Speaker 2: But he, you know, he will go on the air

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Speaker 2: and say you saved my life. And that's kind of

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Speaker 2: that kind of breaks me up a little bit.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 3: Well it's a beautiful thing. But what also tells me

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Speaker 3: is that you were listening, You were paying attention, You

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Speaker 3: were in the moment, you know, you you you and

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Speaker 3: Tom like you. You assessed the situation and like reached

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Speaker 3: out to him, you know, with that was a super

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Speaker 3: ultra active kindness.

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Speaker 2: George Nori, you have a story of a family that

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Speaker 2: ended a twenty year feud at a Thanksgiving table.

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Speaker 4: What happened they did?

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Speaker 3: And it was I'm from West Virginia originally, and so

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Speaker 3: we know how to feud, and so there was going

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Speaker 3: to be another raucous like you know, arguing, fussing Thanksgiving dinner.

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Speaker 3: And one of my aunts thought we can't do this

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Speaker 3: again this year, and so she came up with on

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Speaker 3: her own that before Grace before saying grace that she

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Speaker 3: would say to everyone present, one of the things I

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Speaker 3: really love about you is And she went to around

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Speaker 3: the whole table, talked to everybody, you know, the grandma's,

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Speaker 3: the grumpy uncles, the children, mom's, dads, everyone and the

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Speaker 3: whole There was such an amazing energy shift, and then

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Speaker 3: actually it became contagious. George and everyone else went around

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Speaker 3: the table and said one of the things I really

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Speaker 3: love about you is And the food was a little

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Speaker 3: cold by the end of that, but nobody cared, and

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Speaker 3: it did end like a big ongoing feud, and most importantly,

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Speaker 3: it healed relationships and it shifted the dynamics and every

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Speaker 3: holiday after that was and even any old get together

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Speaker 3: was very peaceful and pleasant. So that's something people can

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Speaker 3: try to do too, even if you're not a feuding family,

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Speaker 3: if you just want to start off the meal with

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Speaker 3: the best possible energy and gratitude, sharing and also sharing

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Speaker 3: of love, because I think that this is something we

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Speaker 3: all need to do, myself included, Tell the people you

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Speaker 3: love that you love them. Just tell them, doesn't matter

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Speaker 3: how many times a day, don't wait. We need to

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Speaker 3: express the love and carry that because that is The

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Speaker 3: most important thing in the world is loving people, showing that,

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Speaker 3: sharing that.

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Speaker 2: What about a few words like thank you? How far

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Speaker 2: does that go?

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Speaker 3: Thank you goes a long long way so, and there's

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Speaker 3: so many different ways to say it. One of my

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Speaker 3: favorites is the British will say thanking you, and one

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Speaker 3: of my British I heard one of my British friends

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Speaker 3: like say that a few years ago, and I just

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Speaker 3: latched onto it because it makes it even more active,

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Speaker 3: thanking you like I'm thanking you right now. It's just

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Speaker 3: sort of lovely and quirky, but thank you is very powerful.

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Speaker 3: Those two words carry enormous power. So use them a lot.

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Speaker 3: Say I love you a lot, say thank you a lot.

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Speaker 3: Your life will get happier, like the same days start that,

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Speaker 3: you know what.

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Speaker 2: I've also noticed that goes a long way opening the

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Speaker 2: door for somebody mm hmmm.

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Speaker 3: Yes, even at the grocery store, like just to like

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Speaker 3: of office buildings, like you know, the coffeehouse. Little tiny

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Speaker 3: acts of goodness and kindness like means so much. There's

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Speaker 3: sort of the glue of life and and also a smile.

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Speaker 2: Do you find Brenda that there's too much hate out

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Speaker 2: there right now?

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Speaker 4: I think there is, and I do think about that

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Speaker 4: a lot.

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Speaker 3: And as an editor of books and we I publish

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Speaker 3: a lot of psychology books that books to save lives,

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Speaker 3: and so I get to get to learn from those psychologists,

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Speaker 3: authors and writers, and they're Ungian philosophy would say that

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Speaker 3: it's the shadow side of deep pain. So I think

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Speaker 3: people are hurting, that they express it with negativity and hate,

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Speaker 3: but I think it honestly. I think simple things like

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Speaker 3: just you know, saying you know something I really like

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Speaker 3: about you, what I appreciate, appreciate about you is this,

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Speaker 3: and that can engender that energy shift, and I think

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Speaker 3: that people can. I feel like it's an era we're

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Speaker 3: in and that the pendulum will swing and will be

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Speaker 3: in a very different era. I hope, I mean, I

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Speaker 3: hope in a very short few years that we go

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Speaker 3: from what seems like such a hateful time to a

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Speaker 3: time of kindness and gratitude and sharing and peacefulness.

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Speaker 4: I don't think this is going to last that long.

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Speaker 3: I believe in us human beings, George, I think we

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Speaker 3: can turn it around.

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Speaker 2: Well, well, we should be able to, because there's a

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Speaker 2: lot of good in this planet.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: How did you get involved in all of this.

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Speaker 4: Well, I like to give.

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Speaker 3: My mother Helen credit, because she was such a good

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Speaker 3: person and she's still around.

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Speaker 4: I believe we both have mothers that.

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Speaker 3: Are like kicking alive and kicking and doing well.

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Speaker 2: Mine is ninety six, headed for ninety seven in.

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Speaker 4: May, mine is ninety nine.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's fantastic.

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 4: I love it. I love it. So I think I

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Speaker 4: think our moms are doing something right, George.

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Speaker 3: But my mother was just unbelievably kindly. She's very shy

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Speaker 3: and like so, you know, she wouldn't like talk a lot,

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Speaker 3: but like she spoke with her actions. She would drive

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Speaker 3: neighbors and elderly aunts to the doctor and to Aaron's

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Speaker 3: and you know, give food to neighbors. One one thing

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Speaker 3: that I remember is that she got kind of mad

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Speaker 3: at me when I was six because I there was

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Speaker 3: a new family that moved in across the road on

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Speaker 3: the farm in West Virginia. They were just right across

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Speaker 3: the way, and I wanted to play with the kids,

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Speaker 3: and I invited them over, and then they invited me over,

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Speaker 3: and I saw that they didn't have any toys, and

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Speaker 3: I felt, you know, sad about that, and I thought

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Speaker 3: they can, I'm gonna give them my toys, and my

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Speaker 3: mom was kind of irritated, like my goodness, like did

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Speaker 3: you have to give away all your toys? And then

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Speaker 3: but that made her I said, well, they didn't have any,

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Speaker 3: and that alerted mom to the fact that like maybe

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Speaker 3: they were, you know, they they didn't have.

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Speaker 4: A lot of money. They didn't even have money to

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Speaker 4: just buy each child a toy.

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Speaker 3: So she went over there. She went over very neighborly

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Speaker 3: like and like brought a pie and some things like that,

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Speaker 3: and she sussed out the situation and then it was

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Speaker 3: true that they were, you know, they they needed help,

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Speaker 3: and so she she started giving them all kinds of

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Speaker 3: like food and like things that we.

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Speaker 4: Grew in the garden, tomatoes, like, you know.

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Speaker 3: She she started really making sure that they weren't lacking

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Speaker 3: and then also inviting them to church make sure that

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Speaker 3: they got the benefit of stuff. And even though I

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Speaker 3: was six and briefly in trouble for giving away all

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Speaker 3: my toys, I thought, Okay, she was modeling good personhood

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Speaker 3: to me in like, you know, for ninety nine years.

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Speaker 3: Well I'm not ninety nine years old, but for ninety

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Speaker 3: nine years she's been. She's been rocking kindness and just

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Speaker 3: a model of what a kind, gentle, quiet, good person is.

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Speaker 2: What do you think about world leaders? If they would

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Speaker 2: express more kindness to other world leaders, what might happen?

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Speaker 3: Oh, I think that would be. I think that would

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Speaker 3: make all the difference in the world. I think that

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Speaker 3: wars would suddenly go away, there would be peace there,

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Speaker 3: there wouldn't be mass hunger. I think big egos are

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Speaker 3: the roots of many problems, and so I think that

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Speaker 3: if people just took a moment and thought about like

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Speaker 3: the results of their actions and what it's like to

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Speaker 3: be you know, I don't the word narcissist comes to mind,

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Speaker 3: but like just those big giant egos, they become so

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Speaker 3: self centered and like high on their power trips or whatever,

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Speaker 3: and you know, they don't think about the fact that

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Speaker 3: you know, they're causing people to go hungry, they're causing children,

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Speaker 3: you know, they're causing children to be injured and in wars,

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Speaker 3: like they're if they just got those egos and check

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Speaker 3: and exercise some kindness and and empathy, they're you know,

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Speaker 3: I think that you know, macho men probably and like

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Speaker 3: powerful men, think that empathy is a weakness.

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Speaker 4: Empathy is not weakness, it is strength.

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