1 00:00:15,436 --> 00:00:23,116 Speaker 1: Pushkin. The first few weeks of January are peak New 2 00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:26,516 Speaker 1: Year's resolution time, and a lot of those resolutions involved 3 00:00:26,596 --> 00:00:30,516 Speaker 1: changing how our bodies look. According to one global consumer survey, 4 00:00:30,836 --> 00:00:33,356 Speaker 1: nearly half of people who made New Year's resolutions last 5 00:00:33,436 --> 00:00:35,756 Speaker 1: year wanted to change what they ate and how much 6 00:00:35,796 --> 00:00:39,076 Speaker 1: they exercised, with more than four and ten specifically saying 7 00:00:39,156 --> 00:00:42,156 Speaker 1: that they wanted to lose weight. And this time of year, 8 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,436 Speaker 1: there are lots and lots of outside voices that are 9 00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:47,356 Speaker 1: ready to tell us exactly how we should fix our bodies. 10 00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:49,996 Speaker 1: If you look at a magazine or your social media 11 00:00:50,036 --> 00:00:53,196 Speaker 1: feed this month, you'll probably get bombarded with healthy eating 12 00:00:53,236 --> 00:00:55,916 Speaker 1: ads claiming to have a scientific solution to the perfect 13 00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:59,116 Speaker 1: beach body, or stories of people who successfully toned their 14 00:00:59,156 --> 00:01:03,756 Speaker 1: butts with the latest bad diets. Every January were surrounded 15 00:01:03,756 --> 00:01:06,956 Speaker 1: by concepts like quito and pigan in intermit and fasting 16 00:01:06,996 --> 00:01:10,836 Speaker 1: and belly blasting. Even if we know rationally that bellies 17 00:01:10,916 --> 00:01:14,116 Speaker 1: probably aren't supposed to be blasted, it's really easy to 18 00:01:14,156 --> 00:01:17,316 Speaker 1: get swept up by all those deafening body shaming voices 19 00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:20,116 Speaker 1: and to think that we're going about something as fundamental 20 00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:23,876 Speaker 1: as feeding ourselves in all the wrong ways. But if 21 00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:26,236 Speaker 1: you think about it, all, this body shame is kind 22 00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:29,276 Speaker 1: of weird because we don't let outside voices tell us 23 00:01:29,316 --> 00:01:31,236 Speaker 1: what to do when it comes to navigating our other 24 00:01:31,276 --> 00:01:34,116 Speaker 1: bodily needs, like when to go to the bathroom or 25 00:01:34,156 --> 00:01:35,596 Speaker 1: whether or not it's a good idea to put on 26 00:01:35,636 --> 00:01:38,716 Speaker 1: a sweater if we're feeling cold. When it comes to 27 00:01:38,756 --> 00:01:41,676 Speaker 1: these physical requirements, we don't feel the need to look 28 00:01:41,676 --> 00:01:45,276 Speaker 1: to social media suggestions or magazine ads. We just listen 29 00:01:45,316 --> 00:01:47,356 Speaker 1: to our bodies in order to figure out what they 30 00:01:47,396 --> 00:01:51,956 Speaker 1: need to feel good. Our guest Today, author's psychotherapist and 31 00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:55,636 Speaker 1: Happiness Lab regular Andrea Walkder, argues that it's time to 32 00:01:55,676 --> 00:01:58,756 Speaker 1: start thinking about feeding ourselves in the same intuitive way 33 00:01:58,796 --> 00:02:03,116 Speaker 1: that we think about other bodily needs. Andrea herself struggled 34 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:07,036 Speaker 1: for many years with disordered eating. She dieted drastically, restricting 35 00:02:07,036 --> 00:02:09,676 Speaker 1: her and take of food, but also rioted the phrase 36 00:02:09,676 --> 00:02:11,836 Speaker 1: she uses to describe the eating binges she went on 37 00:02:11,876 --> 00:02:14,796 Speaker 1: when she wasn't dieting. It was a roller coaster ride 38 00:02:14,836 --> 00:02:18,236 Speaker 1: that took her decades to get off. Andrea has seen 39 00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:20,716 Speaker 1: that taking time to listen to your wise, inner hunger 40 00:02:20,796 --> 00:02:23,156 Speaker 1: voice can help you avoid the shame that comes from 41 00:02:23,196 --> 00:02:26,596 Speaker 1: outside diet advice. In fact, she's living proof that with 42 00:02:26,756 --> 00:02:29,316 Speaker 1: some inner work, it's possible to not even hear all 43 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:33,236 Speaker 1: those loud diet voices. Truth be told, I don't keep 44 00:02:33,316 --> 00:02:35,996 Speaker 1: up on those anymore. I used to know every single 45 00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:38,276 Speaker 1: diet that because I was like on them, And now 46 00:02:38,316 --> 00:02:40,676 Speaker 1: I don't even keep up because there's so many I 47 00:02:40,716 --> 00:02:42,916 Speaker 1: know a lot of people are doing the intermitten fasting 48 00:02:42,956 --> 00:02:45,596 Speaker 1: and a lot of carrying scales to the restaurant. I mean, 49 00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:48,396 Speaker 1: there's just so many things. But so many of us 50 00:02:48,476 --> 00:02:53,156 Speaker 1: have been hypnotized and programmed to think that we need 51 00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:55,676 Speaker 1: to be a certain body size or weight, and that 52 00:02:55,836 --> 00:02:59,996 Speaker 1: if we attain that certain magical number or size, we 53 00:03:00,076 --> 00:03:03,116 Speaker 1: will be happy, we will be healthy, and we will 54 00:03:03,156 --> 00:03:05,716 Speaker 1: even be more lovable. Never mind if that size is 55 00:03:05,756 --> 00:03:09,556 Speaker 1: even natural for us. But once we're pro grammed and 56 00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:11,916 Speaker 1: we buy into the programming, which is hard not to 57 00:03:11,956 --> 00:03:15,556 Speaker 1: buy into it. But once we're programmed, it causes us 58 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:19,796 Speaker 1: to cut ourselves off from our natural hunger and fullness 59 00:03:19,876 --> 00:03:24,476 Speaker 1: and satisfaction and cravings. We have this innate knowing inside 60 00:03:24,476 --> 00:03:27,516 Speaker 1: of us. We're not born thinking foods are good or 61 00:03:27,556 --> 00:03:31,116 Speaker 1: bad or body sizes are good or bad. We get programmed. So, 62 00:03:31,156 --> 00:03:32,996 Speaker 1: like you say, with the bathroom, I have to go 63 00:03:33,036 --> 00:03:35,516 Speaker 1: to the bathroom, I go. There's no shame involved, there's 64 00:03:35,556 --> 00:03:38,996 Speaker 1: no pressure about it. Well maybe bladder pressure. If I'm cold, 65 00:03:39,036 --> 00:03:41,396 Speaker 1: I put on a sweater. It's not about my self esteem, 66 00:03:41,516 --> 00:03:45,356 Speaker 1: you know. But because there's so much pressure and programming 67 00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:51,236 Speaker 1: around body sizes, perfectionism, fat phobia, my okayness being based 68 00:03:51,276 --> 00:03:54,316 Speaker 1: on my size, then it causes us to split ourselves 69 00:03:54,316 --> 00:03:57,876 Speaker 1: off from this natural mechanism that tells us when, what 70 00:03:57,996 --> 00:04:00,436 Speaker 1: and how much to eat. It must be really frustrating 71 00:04:00,436 --> 00:04:02,036 Speaker 1: at the start of the new year, where you just 72 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:05,556 Speaker 1: see article after article and Google search after Google search 73 00:04:05,596 --> 00:04:08,476 Speaker 1: about all these new weird diets when like you know, 74 00:04:08,556 --> 00:04:10,996 Speaker 1: you've seen the answers out there it should be inside 75 00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:15,196 Speaker 1: it is. It's sad to me because we're so seduced. 76 00:04:15,276 --> 00:04:18,236 Speaker 1: And I would say to everybody listening, prepared to be 77 00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:21,436 Speaker 1: seduced by the new fad diets, the old fad diets. 78 00:04:21,516 --> 00:04:24,116 Speaker 1: And you know, we don't click on every ad that 79 00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:27,116 Speaker 1: pops up on our screens, we don't buy every item 80 00:04:27,156 --> 00:04:29,556 Speaker 1: that pops up. It's like to have the not just 81 00:04:29,756 --> 00:04:33,956 Speaker 1: courage but the willingness to believe that if diets worked, 82 00:04:33,996 --> 00:04:36,596 Speaker 1: they would have worked by now. The diet industry is 83 00:04:36,636 --> 00:04:39,636 Speaker 1: the only industry I know of that continues to grow 84 00:04:39,796 --> 00:04:43,716 Speaker 1: despite a huge failure rate. But people still believe in them. 85 00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,236 Speaker 1: And so yes, when I hear people going on some 86 00:04:46,316 --> 00:04:48,556 Speaker 1: new diet and they're even like high in the beginning 87 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:51,956 Speaker 1: from it, it's hard not to intervene. But I only 88 00:04:51,996 --> 00:04:55,196 Speaker 1: intervene with people who come to me for intervening, don't 89 00:04:55,236 --> 00:04:58,236 Speaker 1: go out and get them. So, yeah, people are so 90 00:04:58,476 --> 00:05:02,636 Speaker 1: seduced by diets, and I would say there's a very 91 00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:06,156 Speaker 1: small percentage of people that they work for. I haven't 92 00:05:06,196 --> 00:05:08,116 Speaker 1: met any of them, but I'm guessing there might be 93 00:05:08,156 --> 00:05:12,036 Speaker 1: a few. But for most people, they cause obsession, they 94 00:05:12,076 --> 00:05:17,236 Speaker 1: cause feeling unwell and malnourished, and then they cause riotous rebellion, 95 00:05:17,476 --> 00:05:20,476 Speaker 1: if not full blown eating disorders. And you're talking about 96 00:05:20,476 --> 00:05:22,356 Speaker 1: this in the abstract, but this is something that you 97 00:05:22,396 --> 00:05:26,916 Speaker 1: know personally, like you were under this spell a lot yourself, right, completely, 98 00:05:26,956 --> 00:05:31,036 Speaker 1: like in a trance from this spell restricting obsessing and 99 00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:34,476 Speaker 1: or binging. I was caught in it for decades, And 100 00:05:34,796 --> 00:05:36,956 Speaker 1: what was that like for your psychology? Right? Because It's 101 00:05:36,956 --> 00:05:39,076 Speaker 1: one thing to kind of it's stressful for how you eat, 102 00:05:39,156 --> 00:05:41,956 Speaker 1: but it's another thing because it really affects your flourishing too. 103 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:45,716 Speaker 1: It affects everything. It affected my thinking. I was so 104 00:05:45,876 --> 00:05:49,476 Speaker 1: focused on body size and food, not only mine but others, 105 00:05:49,556 --> 00:05:53,036 Speaker 1: comparing and worrying about it, stressing about what I was 106 00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:55,076 Speaker 1: going to eat or not eat, and then of course 107 00:05:55,116 --> 00:05:57,916 Speaker 1: being so unsatisfied and hungry that I was out of 108 00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:00,756 Speaker 1: control so often. So I call it the diet riot 109 00:06:00,836 --> 00:06:05,116 Speaker 1: roller coaster. And I was riding that ride for a 110 00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:07,916 Speaker 1: long long time. And so, what was your turning point? 111 00:06:07,956 --> 00:06:11,076 Speaker 1: Because this idea of turning to the internal signals we 112 00:06:11,116 --> 00:06:13,036 Speaker 1: have when it comes to food, you know, it can 113 00:06:13,076 --> 00:06:15,716 Speaker 1: be really scary. You know, how did you find your 114 00:06:15,756 --> 00:06:18,596 Speaker 1: way back to your own inner food voice. Well, I 115 00:06:18,676 --> 00:06:21,876 Speaker 1: struggled for a really long time with an eating disorder. 116 00:06:21,956 --> 00:06:25,076 Speaker 1: Some people have lesser severe disordered eating. And I'd gotten 117 00:06:25,116 --> 00:06:27,756 Speaker 1: help for a really long time on those issues, and 118 00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:30,716 Speaker 1: I've made a lot of progress, but I still had 119 00:06:30,796 --> 00:06:36,156 Speaker 1: that leftover diet mentality and body dissatisfaction. And there was 120 00:06:36,236 --> 00:06:39,076 Speaker 1: just this moment I'll never forget it. There was this 121 00:06:39,196 --> 00:06:43,396 Speaker 1: moment where I decided I wanted peace of mind and 122 00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:46,556 Speaker 1: wellness more than I wanted to be a certain number 123 00:06:46,676 --> 00:06:50,916 Speaker 1: or a certain size. I was so tired of restrictive 124 00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:55,396 Speaker 1: eating and chaotic eating, and I took this vow with myself. 125 00:06:55,476 --> 00:06:57,956 Speaker 1: It was like, Andrea, do you take Andrea? I took 126 00:06:57,996 --> 00:07:01,516 Speaker 1: this vow with myself that when I approach a food choice, 127 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:05,196 Speaker 1: whether it's walking into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator, opening 128 00:07:05,196 --> 00:07:08,076 Speaker 1: a menu at a restaurant, I am going to tune 129 00:07:08,156 --> 00:07:11,756 Speaker 1: into the part of me that is wise and loving 130 00:07:12,196 --> 00:07:15,636 Speaker 1: and just that knows. And prior to that vow, I 131 00:07:15,676 --> 00:07:18,276 Speaker 1: had like a committee going every time I approached a 132 00:07:18,316 --> 00:07:20,596 Speaker 1: food choice. Is that the dieter or should I eat that? 133 00:07:20,756 --> 00:07:22,436 Speaker 1: Is that the rioter? Or is that too? Was that 134 00:07:22,556 --> 00:07:25,076 Speaker 1: over feelings? It was just like this whole big deal. 135 00:07:25,356 --> 00:07:28,396 Speaker 1: Once I was trying to heal these parts of myself. 136 00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:30,676 Speaker 1: But once I had this moment, it was like, I'm 137 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,796 Speaker 1: just going straight to the love. I'm just tired of 138 00:07:32,796 --> 00:07:35,436 Speaker 1: the battle, and I'll never forget it. I went to 139 00:07:35,476 --> 00:07:37,956 Speaker 1: the store for the first time in my adult life, 140 00:07:38,036 --> 00:07:40,596 Speaker 1: and I just bought what sounded good to me. I 141 00:07:40,636 --> 00:07:42,836 Speaker 1: went home and it was the first meal I can 142 00:07:42,876 --> 00:07:47,636 Speaker 1: remember that I ate a non restrictive, delicious, nutritious meal, 143 00:07:47,996 --> 00:07:52,316 Speaker 1: and I was totally satisfied. I mean, that sounds amazing, 144 00:07:52,436 --> 00:07:54,876 Speaker 1: right to kind of get off this roller coaster. But 145 00:07:55,196 --> 00:07:56,996 Speaker 1: I think, you know, for many of us, and you know, 146 00:07:57,036 --> 00:07:58,596 Speaker 1: even for you back in the day, like I think, 147 00:07:58,596 --> 00:08:01,196 Speaker 1: it's really scary because there's so much information out there 148 00:08:01,316 --> 00:08:03,756 Speaker 1: telling us, hey, this is the right way to eat 149 00:08:03,996 --> 00:08:05,756 Speaker 1: or that's a bad way to eat. You know that 150 00:08:05,836 --> 00:08:08,196 Speaker 1: this is so out there in the culture. It was 151 00:08:08,276 --> 00:08:11,196 Speaker 1: scary because I had only known two modes I had 152 00:08:11,236 --> 00:08:14,996 Speaker 1: only known, like caged animal around food or animal breaking 153 00:08:14,996 --> 00:08:16,876 Speaker 1: out of the cage. I really didn't have any reason 154 00:08:16,916 --> 00:08:20,716 Speaker 1: to trust myself because I hadn't been very trustworthy with food. 155 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:24,876 Speaker 1: But I just knew, and I kept reminding myself that 156 00:08:24,996 --> 00:08:27,316 Speaker 1: I wanted peace of mind, and I didn't know what 157 00:08:27,316 --> 00:08:30,076 Speaker 1: would happen to my body if I let go of 158 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:35,076 Speaker 1: that crazy roller coaster restricting and obsessing and binging. But 159 00:08:35,196 --> 00:08:38,076 Speaker 1: I just decided I was willing to find out and 160 00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:41,716 Speaker 1: willing to be kind to myself. You know, you engage 161 00:08:41,716 --> 00:08:44,516 Speaker 1: in this process after you know a lot of recovery work. 162 00:08:44,636 --> 00:08:46,796 Speaker 1: But these days this practice has become a little bit 163 00:08:46,836 --> 00:08:50,436 Speaker 1: more popular in the field talk about this idea of 164 00:08:50,516 --> 00:08:54,836 Speaker 1: intuitive eating. Yeah, intuitive eating is it's like a paradigm. 165 00:08:54,836 --> 00:09:00,156 Speaker 1: It's a way of approaching wellness and food choices and 166 00:09:00,596 --> 00:09:04,836 Speaker 1: taking care of yourself that really encourages going inside for 167 00:09:04,916 --> 00:09:08,636 Speaker 1: your cues rather than outside from all the rules. And 168 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,716 Speaker 1: it really is a commitment. It's quite a duover for 169 00:09:11,796 --> 00:09:14,116 Speaker 1: people that are used to going outside to get their 170 00:09:14,156 --> 00:09:17,116 Speaker 1: ideas of how to eat, how to move, what to feel. 171 00:09:17,876 --> 00:09:21,716 Speaker 1: It originated with these two authors that are dietitians and 172 00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:24,356 Speaker 1: they wrote the book Intuitive Eating in the nineties and 173 00:09:24,436 --> 00:09:27,636 Speaker 1: it's still quite applicable today. We need it more than ever. 174 00:09:27,876 --> 00:09:32,036 Speaker 1: So it's really about giving yourself permission, but also being 175 00:09:32,116 --> 00:09:35,876 Speaker 1: kind to yourself and feeding Rather the old paradigm has 176 00:09:35,916 --> 00:09:38,596 Speaker 1: been that we're told what we're supposed to look like, 177 00:09:38,916 --> 00:09:41,196 Speaker 1: and then we try to eat an exercise in a 178 00:09:41,236 --> 00:09:44,276 Speaker 1: way that makes us look that way. But this paradigm 179 00:09:44,756 --> 00:09:49,036 Speaker 1: is about feeding yourself and treating yourself respectfully and allowing 180 00:09:49,076 --> 00:09:52,676 Speaker 1: your body to unfold into the body that nature intended 181 00:09:52,716 --> 00:09:55,596 Speaker 1: for you. I mean, it sounds in some ways so simple, 182 00:09:55,756 --> 00:09:58,836 Speaker 1: but you know it's it's so counterintuitive given so many 183 00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:01,836 Speaker 1: of the other outside forces I think, you know, another 184 00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:04,716 Speaker 1: paradigm that's really connected to the intuitive eating approach is 185 00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:07,196 Speaker 1: also this approach that's known as Health at Every Size. 186 00:10:07,676 --> 00:10:09,396 Speaker 1: You know, what's that and how is it really related 187 00:10:09,436 --> 00:10:12,196 Speaker 1: to this idea of intuitive eating. Health at Every Size, 188 00:10:12,276 --> 00:10:15,156 Speaker 1: or they call it HAZE for short, is a long 189 00:10:15,276 --> 00:10:20,116 Speaker 1: needed movement to end weight discrimination and to help people 190 00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:25,076 Speaker 1: shift the assumption that all fat people are unhealthy. It's 191 00:10:25,116 --> 00:10:29,236 Speaker 1: just simply not true. And both intuitive eating and Health 192 00:10:29,236 --> 00:10:34,076 Speaker 1: at Every Size promote practicing self care, self respect, feeding 193 00:10:34,076 --> 00:10:38,036 Speaker 1: yourself non restrictively and respectfully for the sake of well being, 194 00:10:38,356 --> 00:10:40,516 Speaker 1: rather than for the sake of trying to be a 195 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,996 Speaker 1: certain size that might not even be meant for you. 196 00:10:42,996 --> 00:10:45,956 Speaker 1: You know, you engage in this process after a lot 197 00:10:45,996 --> 00:10:48,436 Speaker 1: of recovery work for eating and things like that. But 198 00:10:48,556 --> 00:10:50,756 Speaker 1: these days this practice has become a little bit more 199 00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:53,196 Speaker 1: popular in the field, right and you know, so talk 200 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:56,636 Speaker 1: about this idea of intuitive eating like a little bit 201 00:10:56,676 --> 00:11:00,236 Speaker 1: of the history of this kind of program. In practice, 202 00:11:00,756 --> 00:11:06,356 Speaker 1: it's about becoming aware of diet mentality, being willing to 203 00:11:06,756 --> 00:11:11,116 Speaker 1: acknowledge or even consider that diets don't work, that they're ineffective. 204 00:11:11,316 --> 00:11:14,436 Speaker 1: If they worked, you would have been happily ever after 205 00:11:14,516 --> 00:11:17,036 Speaker 1: after your first one, and I'm guessing most listeners have 206 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:21,316 Speaker 1: been on more than one, increasing your awareness of your 207 00:11:21,396 --> 00:11:24,916 Speaker 1: body's needs, just like you're aware when you're thirsty cold 208 00:11:24,996 --> 00:11:27,116 Speaker 1: have to go to the bathroom. Starting to get to 209 00:11:27,156 --> 00:11:30,156 Speaker 1: know when am I hungry? What are those signals? What 210 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:34,396 Speaker 1: sounds delicious to me? What does my body need? Tuning 211 00:11:34,396 --> 00:11:37,636 Speaker 1: into your body's signals around movement instead of I should 212 00:11:38,036 --> 00:11:41,036 Speaker 1: exercise or I'm not getting off the couch, what does 213 00:11:41,196 --> 00:11:43,956 Speaker 1: my body want to do? And it takes a while 214 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,876 Speaker 1: to kind of peel off the layers, you know, and 215 00:11:47,596 --> 00:11:51,716 Speaker 1: get through the brambles of diet mentality to really hear 216 00:11:51,796 --> 00:11:55,356 Speaker 1: that voice. It's it's a soft voice inside this knowing, 217 00:11:55,476 --> 00:12:00,676 Speaker 1: loving wisdom, and these loud voices of diet mentality, body hatred, 218 00:12:00,956 --> 00:12:06,036 Speaker 1: exercise rules can sometimes often sometimes slash all the time, 219 00:12:06,396 --> 00:12:09,876 Speaker 1: drown out that soft inner knowing. Problem with hearing those 220 00:12:09,876 --> 00:12:12,116 Speaker 1: soft inner voices is that we have to actually be 221 00:12:12,196 --> 00:12:14,836 Speaker 1: paying attention to them in our lives, right and I 222 00:12:14,836 --> 00:12:17,156 Speaker 1: feel like there's there's the noise of all these external 223 00:12:17,156 --> 00:12:19,036 Speaker 1: signals of what we should be eating, and you know, 224 00:12:19,116 --> 00:12:22,116 Speaker 1: our own inner diet mentality, but there's also just like 225 00:12:22,156 --> 00:12:24,556 Speaker 1: the noise of our lives, you know, Like you know, 226 00:12:24,596 --> 00:12:26,716 Speaker 1: there's probably some days that I don't notice I'm hungry 227 00:12:26,756 --> 00:12:29,636 Speaker 1: because I'm like running around, and it sometimes just feels 228 00:12:29,676 --> 00:12:32,036 Speaker 1: easier to eat by the clock or make a rule 229 00:12:32,076 --> 00:12:33,996 Speaker 1: about what I'm going to eat, because it's it's hard 230 00:12:34,036 --> 00:12:36,396 Speaker 1: in a busy lifestyle to really pay attention to what 231 00:12:36,476 --> 00:12:38,476 Speaker 1: your body needs. I mean, is this something that a 232 00:12:38,516 --> 00:12:42,196 Speaker 1: lot of people who start intuitive eating seem to go through. Absolutely, 233 00:12:42,276 --> 00:12:45,516 Speaker 1: it's like a symbol. If you're struggling with feeding yourself 234 00:12:45,596 --> 00:12:48,116 Speaker 1: or paying attention to yourself, look at your whole life, 235 00:12:48,196 --> 00:12:50,756 Speaker 1: not just the food. Food issues are about so many 236 00:12:50,796 --> 00:12:54,996 Speaker 1: more things. Because this is really a holistic approach. So 237 00:12:55,076 --> 00:12:59,316 Speaker 1: it's almost like the body is the child, and the 238 00:12:59,436 --> 00:13:03,316 Speaker 1: wise mind and the respectful actions are the parents. And 239 00:13:03,396 --> 00:13:06,516 Speaker 1: so yes, if we're busy, if we're lost on screens, 240 00:13:06,556 --> 00:13:10,156 Speaker 1: if we're not paying attention, if we're over work, how 241 00:13:10,196 --> 00:13:12,796 Speaker 1: can we take care of ourselves? But I would think 242 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,036 Speaker 1: most people, if you have a child with a super 243 00:13:15,076 --> 00:13:19,716 Speaker 1: busy day school, after schools, things and sports, you would 244 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,796 Speaker 1: pack that child food. So it's being willing to take 245 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,796 Speaker 1: that time for ourselves and so let's kind of go 246 00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:27,756 Speaker 1: even deeper because I think, you know, as we start 247 00:13:27,796 --> 00:13:29,676 Speaker 1: to think about intuitive eating, I think a lot of 248 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,836 Speaker 1: people have even more specific questions about, you know, what 249 00:13:32,876 --> 00:13:34,796 Speaker 1: are the kinds of things that you know count as 250 00:13:34,836 --> 00:13:37,516 Speaker 1: part of intuitive eating and not. You know, so many people, 251 00:13:37,956 --> 00:13:40,596 Speaker 1: for example, think about the possibility of, you know, a 252 00:13:40,636 --> 00:13:43,116 Speaker 1: particular way of eating. You know, let's say you're vegetarian 253 00:13:43,236 --> 00:13:44,996 Speaker 1: or vegan, or let's say you want to give up 254 00:13:44,996 --> 00:13:48,316 Speaker 1: a particular food group, Like, can that be done in 255 00:13:48,356 --> 00:13:52,356 Speaker 1: the context of intuitive eating or is that always restrictive? No? 256 00:13:52,596 --> 00:13:56,596 Speaker 1: I definitely think it depends on the motives. If somebody 257 00:13:56,636 --> 00:14:00,556 Speaker 1: is cutting out a certain food because ethically that's important 258 00:14:00,596 --> 00:14:03,196 Speaker 1: to them, or because their body has an allergic response, 259 00:14:03,236 --> 00:14:05,436 Speaker 1: it doesn't they don't feel well when they eat that food, 260 00:14:05,796 --> 00:14:08,716 Speaker 1: it's respectful not to eat that food. But if somebody's 261 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:11,836 Speaker 1: cutting out of food because they think it's too high 262 00:14:11,836 --> 00:14:14,476 Speaker 1: in calories or fed, or they think it's not going 263 00:14:14,476 --> 00:14:17,076 Speaker 1: to make them get to their goals, then it's very 264 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:21,476 Speaker 1: likely to cause obsession and preoccupation about that food and 265 00:14:21,756 --> 00:14:25,356 Speaker 1: or rebellious eating on that food or every other possible 266 00:14:25,396 --> 00:14:28,556 Speaker 1: food around that food. What about other forms of kind 267 00:14:28,556 --> 00:14:31,756 Speaker 1: of paying attention external cues, right, you know, like for example, 268 00:14:31,796 --> 00:14:35,316 Speaker 1: like is weighing yourself you know, consistent with intuitive eating? 269 00:14:35,476 --> 00:14:38,156 Speaker 1: Is kind of you tracking other kinds of nutritional values? 270 00:14:38,196 --> 00:14:40,636 Speaker 1: You know? Is that consistent with intuitive eating? You know? 271 00:14:40,636 --> 00:14:42,956 Speaker 1: I imagine it's kind of the same thing I'm hearing. 272 00:14:42,956 --> 00:14:45,996 Speaker 1: It might be like the motivation, the reasons why you're 273 00:14:46,036 --> 00:14:49,116 Speaker 1: doing those kinds of tracking, and the effects they have. 274 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:53,196 Speaker 1: So if someone struggles with their eating and their body image, 275 00:14:53,676 --> 00:14:58,396 Speaker 1: weighing is usually not helpful and actually often triggering, because 276 00:14:58,396 --> 00:15:02,076 Speaker 1: intuitive eating is about getting your answers from inside. Am 277 00:15:02,076 --> 00:15:05,956 Speaker 1: I hungry? Am I tired? What do I need? Do 278 00:15:06,036 --> 00:15:08,156 Speaker 1: I need fresh air? Do I want a sandwich? Do 279 00:15:08,196 --> 00:15:10,916 Speaker 1: I want to rest? And a scale can't tell us that? 280 00:15:11,276 --> 00:15:14,316 Speaker 1: And if anything, oftentimes people will get triggered by the 281 00:15:14,396 --> 00:15:16,796 Speaker 1: number and it will lead them to restrict and or 282 00:15:16,796 --> 00:15:20,716 Speaker 1: rebel from the feelings. So I think for someone who 283 00:15:20,756 --> 00:15:24,476 Speaker 1: has body image issues and or disordered eating or an 284 00:15:24,476 --> 00:15:27,716 Speaker 1: eating disorder, I don't recommend scales, if anything, write down 285 00:15:27,756 --> 00:15:31,476 Speaker 1: on a piece of paper, listen to your body, sweetheart, 286 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:34,756 Speaker 1: or the tape it on top of the scale. Those apps, 287 00:15:34,796 --> 00:15:37,436 Speaker 1: those tracking apps. My response would be similar that if 288 00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:41,636 Speaker 1: someone doesn't have issues or a history of body shame, dieting, 289 00:15:42,396 --> 00:15:47,396 Speaker 1: riotous eating, those tracking apps can be fun. My husband 290 00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:50,276 Speaker 1: has one and he even enjoys, you know, looking at 291 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:53,196 Speaker 1: his steps or whatever the heap tracks. I don't know, 292 00:15:53,556 --> 00:15:55,716 Speaker 1: but an app can't tell me when I want to 293 00:15:55,716 --> 00:15:57,676 Speaker 1: take a walk or when I want to lay down. 294 00:15:58,076 --> 00:16:00,596 Speaker 1: That's up to me to know. So it really depends 295 00:16:00,636 --> 00:16:04,396 Speaker 1: on what the app or the group or the scale, 296 00:16:05,116 --> 00:16:09,076 Speaker 1: what they're aligned with. And the values here are about 297 00:16:09,156 --> 00:16:12,076 Speaker 1: of care, not having a certain food that you should 298 00:16:12,156 --> 00:16:15,036 Speaker 1: or shouldn't eat unless it's a loving motive, and not 299 00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:17,516 Speaker 1: having a certain size that you should or shouldn't be. 300 00:16:17,756 --> 00:16:20,116 Speaker 1: And so when we think about some of the benefits 301 00:16:20,156 --> 00:16:22,796 Speaker 1: that come from eating this way, you know, it's a 302 00:16:22,836 --> 00:16:25,716 Speaker 1: different kind of benefit than we usually think about with 303 00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:28,036 Speaker 1: this diet mentality. Right, you know a lot of these 304 00:16:28,356 --> 00:16:32,076 Speaker 1: you know, keto, paleo, you know, whatever the new thing is, Like, 305 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,156 Speaker 1: the benefit that comes from that is supposed to be 306 00:16:34,196 --> 00:16:36,156 Speaker 1: a certain body size, you know, a certain number on 307 00:16:36,156 --> 00:16:39,276 Speaker 1: the scale. You know, intuitive eating doesn't come with that benefit. 308 00:16:39,636 --> 00:16:42,356 Speaker 1: What are the benefits that come from eating this way? Yeah, 309 00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,796 Speaker 1: that's a good question. There are a lot of benefits, 310 00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:48,876 Speaker 1: and the authors of intuitive Eating have hundreds of studies 311 00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:51,196 Speaker 1: on their website. I'm not affiliated with them, but if 312 00:16:51,196 --> 00:16:55,276 Speaker 1: somebody cares to look into that, benefits are increased energy 313 00:16:55,316 --> 00:16:58,436 Speaker 1: and clarity obviously if you're not starving yourself or stuffing 314 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:03,676 Speaker 1: yourself regularly, decrease in disordered eating and eating disorders, improved 315 00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:09,196 Speaker 1: well being, improved happiness, improved cholesterol levels. There's really a 316 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,796 Speaker 1: lot of benefits that have been shown for people who 317 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:15,676 Speaker 1: intuitively ate for an ongoing basis. I'm glad you mentioned 318 00:17:15,676 --> 00:17:18,076 Speaker 1: this idea of, you know, things like reduce cholesterol too, 319 00:17:18,076 --> 00:17:20,196 Speaker 1: because I think, you know, when you're so used to 320 00:17:20,236 --> 00:17:23,036 Speaker 1: the diet mentality, you assume that if you just ate 321 00:17:23,196 --> 00:17:25,756 Speaker 1: what you wanted to eat, it would lead to these 322 00:17:25,876 --> 00:17:28,196 Speaker 1: negative consequences in terms of your health. I mean, I 323 00:17:28,236 --> 00:17:30,196 Speaker 1: think obviously, you know, people think in terms of the 324 00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:32,956 Speaker 1: negative consequences for their body weight and the particular body 325 00:17:32,956 --> 00:17:35,396 Speaker 1: weight they might be aspiring to be, or something like that. 326 00:17:35,756 --> 00:17:37,676 Speaker 1: I think we also assume that if we just let 327 00:17:37,716 --> 00:17:39,956 Speaker 1: ourselves eat the way we'd want to eat, you know, 328 00:17:39,996 --> 00:17:43,036 Speaker 1: it'd be hot fudge Sundays, you know, like every day, 329 00:17:43,076 --> 00:17:45,036 Speaker 1: and you know, you know, ruin your cholesterol, you know 330 00:17:45,076 --> 00:17:47,476 Speaker 1: your numbers would go go badly. But but that's not 331 00:17:47,516 --> 00:17:50,436 Speaker 1: actually what people see when they commit to eating with 332 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,276 Speaker 1: love for themselves and really paying careful attention to what 333 00:17:53,316 --> 00:17:58,316 Speaker 1: this inner voice is saying right over time, Because sometimes 334 00:17:58,396 --> 00:18:03,436 Speaker 1: there's that rebellious response. If someone's been dieting for years 335 00:18:03,876 --> 00:18:06,156 Speaker 1: and now they're going to give themselves permission to eat, 336 00:18:06,876 --> 00:18:10,956 Speaker 1: there can be this you know riot is reacting. But 337 00:18:11,236 --> 00:18:15,196 Speaker 1: to me personally, that wasn't loving either. And when I 338 00:18:15,276 --> 00:18:18,316 Speaker 1: was in my early years of healing, I even read 339 00:18:18,356 --> 00:18:22,196 Speaker 1: books and worked with people that said, well, in order 340 00:18:22,236 --> 00:18:24,956 Speaker 1: to get over this diet riot mentality, you have to 341 00:18:24,996 --> 00:18:28,076 Speaker 1: just buy all your forbidden foods, load up your house, 342 00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:30,596 Speaker 1: and eat as much of them as you want to 343 00:18:30,756 --> 00:18:33,796 Speaker 1: get sick of them. And that didn't work for me. 344 00:18:33,836 --> 00:18:36,276 Speaker 1: I ate till I got sick from them, not of them, 345 00:18:36,636 --> 00:18:38,916 Speaker 1: And so that was not my path. My path was 346 00:18:38,956 --> 00:18:42,236 Speaker 1: just to fine what was loving and respectful and to 347 00:18:42,276 --> 00:18:45,836 Speaker 1: deal with the unmet needs and underlying issues that dare 348 00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:50,596 Speaker 1: I say, fed into my eating issues. So far, we've 349 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:53,116 Speaker 1: heard the intuitive eating. This practice of listening to what 350 00:18:53,156 --> 00:18:55,756 Speaker 1: our bodies really need comes with a host of benefits 351 00:18:55,996 --> 00:18:58,516 Speaker 1: for our bodies and physical health, but also for our 352 00:18:58,556 --> 00:19:02,236 Speaker 1: happiness levels. But intuitive eating can also be tough to do, 353 00:19:02,396 --> 00:19:04,876 Speaker 1: at least at first. So when we get back from 354 00:19:04,876 --> 00:19:07,836 Speaker 1: the break, we'll talk more about specific strategies we can 355 00:19:07,956 --> 00:19:10,996 Speaker 1: use to stop focusing on inches or calories or pounds 356 00:19:11,436 --> 00:19:14,516 Speaker 1: and move towards a more intuitive relationship with food that 357 00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:28,556 Speaker 1: being a slab will be right back. Psychotherapist author and 358 00:19:28,676 --> 00:19:31,996 Speaker 1: insight time or APP teacher Andrea Walter has helped thousands 359 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,196 Speaker 1: of students find their wise inner eating voice, So I 360 00:19:35,236 --> 00:19:37,876 Speaker 1: was interested in what she recommends for beginners. What are 361 00:19:37,916 --> 00:19:39,876 Speaker 1: the first steps we should take when it comes to 362 00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:43,076 Speaker 1: developing a more intuitive relationship with food? Well, what are 363 00:19:43,076 --> 00:19:45,236 Speaker 1: the first things that I do in my course is 364 00:19:45,276 --> 00:19:48,956 Speaker 1: really try to diminish shame, because if somebody has a 365 00:19:48,996 --> 00:19:52,956 Speaker 1: problematic relationship with food and their body, they usually feel 366 00:19:53,156 --> 00:19:55,956 Speaker 1: ashamed about it. So to try to help people see 367 00:19:56,036 --> 00:20:00,196 Speaker 1: that they're not bad, that their body and they're eating 368 00:20:00,356 --> 00:20:04,196 Speaker 1: are the kind of the innocent recipients of faulty and 369 00:20:04,356 --> 00:20:07,516 Speaker 1: insane programming, because then people eat over the shame and 370 00:20:07,556 --> 00:20:10,796 Speaker 1: they restrict over the shame. And to me, one of 371 00:20:10,796 --> 00:20:13,716 Speaker 1: the first steps is really seeing that we've been duped 372 00:20:13,916 --> 00:20:16,836 Speaker 1: and we've been taught that there's a certain body size 373 00:20:16,836 --> 00:20:20,316 Speaker 1: that's okay and acceptable and that will bring you happily 374 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:24,516 Speaker 1: ever afterness and it's not true. Then we dive into 375 00:20:24,836 --> 00:20:28,036 Speaker 1: how to deal with your feelings, how to identify your feelings, 376 00:20:28,036 --> 00:20:31,076 Speaker 1: how to become aware of your thoughts, and if they're 377 00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:36,076 Speaker 1: not kind, to consider challenging them, upgrading them. We update 378 00:20:36,076 --> 00:20:38,796 Speaker 1: our phones all the time, updating our thinking. And it's 379 00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,476 Speaker 1: really all about awareness, right, I mean, that's the name 380 00:20:41,476 --> 00:20:43,796 Speaker 1: of the game. And the willingness. Like I took that 381 00:20:43,916 --> 00:20:47,436 Speaker 1: vow back then, I wanted peace of mind and wellness 382 00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,036 Speaker 1: more than I wanted to try to control my body. 383 00:20:50,156 --> 00:20:53,756 Speaker 1: So for people to continually look at their values. Is 384 00:20:53,796 --> 00:20:56,836 Speaker 1: this working for me spending so much time and energy 385 00:20:56,996 --> 00:20:59,436 Speaker 1: trying to control my eating and my body size and 386 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,196 Speaker 1: or rebelling from the control, or do I want to 387 00:21:02,196 --> 00:21:05,436 Speaker 1: find another way? It does take work, it does take practice, 388 00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:09,516 Speaker 1: it does take patience, but it's a whole huge over 389 00:21:09,596 --> 00:21:12,516 Speaker 1: from what most people are doing. And so let's say 390 00:21:12,556 --> 00:21:14,916 Speaker 1: you want to engage with this practice of intuitive eating, 391 00:21:14,996 --> 00:21:18,036 Speaker 1: but you're like not really feeling that intuitive, or you know, 392 00:21:18,196 --> 00:21:20,236 Speaker 1: like you know you're a little worried, you're on the 393 00:21:20,236 --> 00:21:22,436 Speaker 1: baby steps you know to doing it. You know, you 394 00:21:22,476 --> 00:21:24,556 Speaker 1: sit down at a restaurant, right, you know, look at 395 00:21:24,556 --> 00:21:27,316 Speaker 1: the menu, you know, any tips for what to listen 396 00:21:27,356 --> 00:21:30,636 Speaker 1: to kind of make that choice. Well, I for myself, 397 00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:32,756 Speaker 1: when I was in the trenches, I would ask myself 398 00:21:32,756 --> 00:21:34,836 Speaker 1: these questions. I think we did a whole podcast on 399 00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:37,196 Speaker 1: one of them. I love these questions because it is 400 00:21:37,236 --> 00:21:40,076 Speaker 1: so hard when you're immersed in diet mentality, it can 401 00:21:40,156 --> 00:21:42,716 Speaker 1: kind of it can drown out that inner knowing. So 402 00:21:42,836 --> 00:21:45,676 Speaker 1: I found when I would ask myself, how would I 403 00:21:45,756 --> 00:21:49,516 Speaker 1: feed someone I love who doesn't diet or riot? Because 404 00:21:49,556 --> 00:21:51,676 Speaker 1: if you're thinking of feeding someone else, there's not the 405 00:21:51,716 --> 00:21:54,076 Speaker 1: shame there. There's just kind of wisdom and oh, I 406 00:21:54,076 --> 00:21:55,956 Speaker 1: would feed them this or this or I know they 407 00:21:55,996 --> 00:21:58,276 Speaker 1: love this or they like this. So how would you 408 00:21:58,316 --> 00:22:02,196 Speaker 1: feed someone else you love who doesn't diet or riot? 409 00:22:02,436 --> 00:22:05,396 Speaker 1: What feels the most loving for your body right now? 410 00:22:05,396 --> 00:22:07,796 Speaker 1: What feels the most respectful for your body right now? 411 00:22:07,996 --> 00:22:11,116 Speaker 1: It's not respectful to restrict and eat things you don't 412 00:22:11,156 --> 00:22:14,836 Speaker 1: even like, and it's not respectful to stuff ourselves. It's 413 00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:18,916 Speaker 1: just to tune into the kind voice inside. I also 414 00:22:19,036 --> 00:22:23,996 Speaker 1: like to help people distinguish between the different internal voices 415 00:22:23,996 --> 00:22:26,236 Speaker 1: that might be going on if they're sitting at a restaurant. 416 00:22:26,316 --> 00:22:29,516 Speaker 1: But know that if you keep practicing, it won't be 417 00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:33,196 Speaker 1: this much work. It gets more natural. So for most people, 418 00:22:33,236 --> 00:22:35,996 Speaker 1: there's an inner diet or voice, I should eat that, 419 00:22:36,076 --> 00:22:38,756 Speaker 1: I should order that. Oh, I shouldn't have that. That's bad. 420 00:22:39,036 --> 00:22:41,316 Speaker 1: Oh my friend is having that. I shouldn't have that 421 00:22:41,436 --> 00:22:45,116 Speaker 1: inner dieter. And then for a lot of people there's 422 00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:48,116 Speaker 1: the rioter from the dieter, and that's you know, I 423 00:22:48,196 --> 00:22:50,676 Speaker 1: want twenty or I want it all or forget it. 424 00:22:50,676 --> 00:22:52,716 Speaker 1: I'll have it when all when I get home. And 425 00:22:52,756 --> 00:22:57,276 Speaker 1: then there's this body wisdom, so to begin to ask themselves, 426 00:22:57,356 --> 00:23:00,316 Speaker 1: try to connect with the different parts till you get 427 00:23:00,316 --> 00:23:04,876 Speaker 1: to what feels loving, respectful, non restrictive, delicious, What does 428 00:23:05,036 --> 00:23:08,116 Speaker 1: my body truly want? And I think the act of 429 00:23:08,156 --> 00:23:11,836 Speaker 1: doing that require a certain kind of mindful attention in 430 00:23:11,876 --> 00:23:15,196 Speaker 1: these moments of decision. Right, my guess is that you're 431 00:23:15,236 --> 00:23:17,676 Speaker 1: not going to get to that wise inner voice that 432 00:23:17,756 --> 00:23:20,276 Speaker 1: can really tell you what you want if you're checking 433 00:23:20,276 --> 00:23:22,636 Speaker 1: your email while you're pulling up the menu or showing 434 00:23:22,716 --> 00:23:25,436 Speaker 1: up to this meal, like in a completely frantic space, 435 00:23:25,556 --> 00:23:29,076 Speaker 1: Like it takes a lot of intention and attention to 436 00:23:29,716 --> 00:23:32,036 Speaker 1: kind of figure this out, as does everything. I mean, 437 00:23:32,076 --> 00:23:34,116 Speaker 1: if we wanted to learn French, we wouldn't just go 438 00:23:34,196 --> 00:23:35,956 Speaker 1: to class and be on our phones and expect to 439 00:23:35,996 --> 00:23:38,836 Speaker 1: be fluent in two lessons. Right, Anything we want to learn, 440 00:23:38,996 --> 00:23:42,516 Speaker 1: it requires desire to learn it, the solution of what 441 00:23:42,636 --> 00:23:44,516 Speaker 1: to learn, what to do instead of what we've been 442 00:23:44,556 --> 00:23:49,396 Speaker 1: doing and practice, practice, practice and patience. Of course, when 443 00:23:49,396 --> 00:23:51,476 Speaker 1: you say that, it makes absolute sense, like this is 444 00:23:51,476 --> 00:23:53,636 Speaker 1: how we do anything important in life. But I think 445 00:23:53,796 --> 00:23:56,116 Speaker 1: that's the contrast from what our culture is telling us. 446 00:23:56,396 --> 00:23:58,156 Speaker 1: You know, our culture is telling us like, oh, if 447 00:23:58,196 --> 00:24:00,756 Speaker 1: you just do intermit and fasting, everything will be perfect, 448 00:24:00,836 --> 00:24:03,676 Speaker 1: or just follow keto. Like is there a sense in 449 00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:07,116 Speaker 1: which people can get worried about intuitive eating because it 450 00:24:07,276 --> 00:24:10,756 Speaker 1: is committing to this long process, in this mindful process 451 00:24:10,756 --> 00:24:12,836 Speaker 1: of paying attention. It's not a quick fix in the 452 00:24:12,836 --> 00:24:15,236 Speaker 1: way that you know other kinds of external plans seem 453 00:24:15,316 --> 00:24:18,716 Speaker 1: to be. That's true, And I would say, look at 454 00:24:18,716 --> 00:24:22,596 Speaker 1: your history. If diets were effective the first or maybe 455 00:24:22,636 --> 00:24:25,796 Speaker 1: even second, I'll be generous the second or diet you 456 00:24:25,836 --> 00:24:28,716 Speaker 1: went on would have done the trick. You'd be at 457 00:24:28,716 --> 00:24:31,276 Speaker 1: the body size that you think would make you happy. 458 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:35,156 Speaker 1: You'd feel great, You're eating would be pleasurable and nourishing 459 00:24:35,236 --> 00:24:38,396 Speaker 1: and not a big problem. You'd be happy with your body. 460 00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:41,876 Speaker 1: It's like the diets promise us all of these things, 461 00:24:41,916 --> 00:24:45,116 Speaker 1: and people still believe them because they're so seductive, and 462 00:24:45,956 --> 00:24:48,116 Speaker 1: they don't come true, they don't pan out. So it's 463 00:24:48,156 --> 00:24:53,196 Speaker 1: questioning the diet rather than yourself. Another challenge people face 464 00:24:53,316 --> 00:24:55,036 Speaker 1: is that if you've really been on this kind of 465 00:24:55,156 --> 00:24:58,636 Speaker 1: diet mentality, diet riot roller coaster for a long time, 466 00:24:59,276 --> 00:25:01,876 Speaker 1: it can be hard to start, right. I think there's 467 00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:04,716 Speaker 1: this real worry that, you know, if you really listen 468 00:25:04,756 --> 00:25:08,116 Speaker 1: to what you wanted, you would be out of control, right, 469 00:25:08,236 --> 00:25:10,356 Speaker 1: you know, And so how do you kind of overcome 470 00:25:10,396 --> 00:25:13,796 Speaker 1: this sort of shame and guilt that comes up, especially 471 00:25:13,796 --> 00:25:16,596 Speaker 1: for people who've had a real struggle with eating history 472 00:25:16,636 --> 00:25:19,436 Speaker 1: for a long time. Well, I think it's being willing 473 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:23,796 Speaker 1: to consider that even though you're eating has been problematic, 474 00:25:24,076 --> 00:25:27,916 Speaker 1: it's not the problem, and that the problems are deeper, 475 00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:33,956 Speaker 1: and so to be willing to question the programming around 476 00:25:34,196 --> 00:25:42,796 Speaker 1: body sizes perfectionistic eating, perfectionistic looks, fat phobia, diet mentality, 477 00:25:43,036 --> 00:25:46,596 Speaker 1: to begin to question those programs the same way we 478 00:25:46,676 --> 00:25:49,636 Speaker 1: question other social issues. We take a stand against social 479 00:25:49,676 --> 00:25:52,996 Speaker 1: issues all the time, or for social issues all the time. 480 00:25:53,516 --> 00:25:56,156 Speaker 1: So what's happened for so many people is they get 481 00:25:56,196 --> 00:26:01,836 Speaker 1: bombarded with the diet mentality and body perfectionism and fat phobia, 482 00:26:01,876 --> 00:26:04,476 Speaker 1: and then they kind of side with the programming and 483 00:26:04,516 --> 00:26:07,276 Speaker 1: turn against their poor bodies. But what we're talking about 484 00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:10,156 Speaker 1: here is siding with your body and say no to 485 00:26:10,196 --> 00:26:13,796 Speaker 1: those programs and decide that you want more peace. It 486 00:26:13,876 --> 00:26:16,836 Speaker 1: will take time, It will take work. So is dieting 487 00:26:16,836 --> 00:26:19,116 Speaker 1: and rioting. I mean that that takes time too. Hating 488 00:26:19,116 --> 00:26:21,116 Speaker 1: your body, that takes a lot of time. And then 489 00:26:21,156 --> 00:26:23,076 Speaker 1: I think another word that people have when they hear 490 00:26:23,116 --> 00:26:25,636 Speaker 1: about intuitive eating. I've heard friends of mine mentioned this 491 00:26:25,796 --> 00:26:29,436 Speaker 1: is like, especially if you have a history of diets, 492 00:26:29,836 --> 00:26:33,036 Speaker 1: you know, it can feel easy to maybe turn intuitive 493 00:26:33,036 --> 00:26:35,636 Speaker 1: eating into its own diet, right like now I must 494 00:26:35,676 --> 00:26:38,236 Speaker 1: eat intuitive, I must find inner voice. And I mean 495 00:26:38,276 --> 00:26:40,076 Speaker 1: do you see that with some of your students, Like 496 00:26:40,116 --> 00:26:43,636 Speaker 1: how do you prevent intuitive eating from becoming just another 497 00:26:44,156 --> 00:26:46,916 Speaker 1: thing that we should be doing in our minds. I 498 00:26:47,196 --> 00:26:49,476 Speaker 1: definitely see that, and we talk about that in the 499 00:26:49,556 --> 00:26:53,916 Speaker 1: course classroom often if someone has been dieting or and 500 00:26:54,156 --> 00:26:56,396 Speaker 1: or have diet mentality. You don't have to be on 501 00:26:56,476 --> 00:26:58,716 Speaker 1: a diet, by the way, to have diet mentality. It's 502 00:26:58,756 --> 00:27:01,996 Speaker 1: like I say, in action or just reacting to food 503 00:27:02,076 --> 00:27:05,716 Speaker 1: as good or bad. So that diet mentality is so 504 00:27:06,036 --> 00:27:09,076 Speaker 1: tricky and sticky. It's like it can be so subtle 505 00:27:09,156 --> 00:27:11,876 Speaker 1: and come into even this new way of being with food. 506 00:27:12,156 --> 00:27:13,916 Speaker 1: So I would I say to people, just keep an 507 00:27:13,916 --> 00:27:17,116 Speaker 1: eye out for it. Keep an eye out for that perfectionism. 508 00:27:17,156 --> 00:27:19,836 Speaker 1: I blew it. I have to start all over. I 509 00:27:19,836 --> 00:27:22,676 Speaker 1: shouldn't have that. I should be a certain size, just 510 00:27:22,716 --> 00:27:24,596 Speaker 1: to kind of keep an eye out for the diet 511 00:27:24,596 --> 00:27:28,316 Speaker 1: mentality statements that feel familiar and know that when you're 512 00:27:28,396 --> 00:27:31,836 Speaker 1: learning something new. Of course, it's challenging at first. It 513 00:27:31,876 --> 00:27:36,436 Speaker 1: takes practice, and just to keep renewing your vows that 514 00:27:36,956 --> 00:27:39,476 Speaker 1: we want peace here if somebody wants that. That's the 515 00:27:39,516 --> 00:27:41,716 Speaker 1: only reason someone comes to my course is because they're 516 00:27:41,756 --> 00:27:45,076 Speaker 1: tired of battling with food and their body. So renewing 517 00:27:45,116 --> 00:27:48,396 Speaker 1: that commitment again and again. Oh that's the reason I'm 518 00:27:48,436 --> 00:27:52,876 Speaker 1: here not to control my weight and not to continue 519 00:27:52,876 --> 00:27:55,236 Speaker 1: on this diet track. And I think it sounds like 520 00:27:55,276 --> 00:27:58,316 Speaker 1: also that that takes a lot of inner listening, right. 521 00:27:58,316 --> 00:28:01,276 Speaker 1: You need to notice the like subtle judginess that's there, 522 00:28:01,716 --> 00:28:04,196 Speaker 1: or the subtle riotiness when you've kind of give in 523 00:28:04,276 --> 00:28:07,196 Speaker 1: yourself permission. And I think in some sense, like you know, 524 00:28:07,356 --> 00:28:10,916 Speaker 1: notice it without judgment. Right, then keeping more shame onto yourself, 525 00:28:10,916 --> 00:28:13,156 Speaker 1: because that's not going to help the process, right, beating 526 00:28:13,156 --> 00:28:16,236 Speaker 1: yourself up? About beating yourself up? Yeah, not helpful? Yeah, 527 00:28:16,276 --> 00:28:19,676 Speaker 1: absolutely noticing being aware And it doesn't have to be perfect. 528 00:28:19,756 --> 00:28:22,916 Speaker 1: Intuitive eating diets are about perfection. This is like not 529 00:28:23,156 --> 00:28:28,156 Speaker 1: about perfection. It's just about continuing to be willing to 530 00:28:28,156 --> 00:28:32,116 Speaker 1: look inside, to be awake. We can't really learn anything 531 00:28:32,156 --> 00:28:35,276 Speaker 1: if we're not awake. So it does definitely take being 532 00:28:35,316 --> 00:28:38,876 Speaker 1: aware and being willing and renewing your commitment to why 533 00:28:38,916 --> 00:28:41,596 Speaker 1: you're doing this. You've been using these practices for a 534 00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:44,116 Speaker 1: long time and you've seen the benefits you in your 535 00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:47,196 Speaker 1: own students, like you know, how can this really change 536 00:28:47,276 --> 00:28:51,076 Speaker 1: our relationship with food in our bodies? It brings freedom. 537 00:28:51,436 --> 00:28:54,156 Speaker 1: There is so much more free time if you're not 538 00:28:54,196 --> 00:28:56,516 Speaker 1: obsessing on your food or your body. It brings a 539 00:28:56,596 --> 00:28:58,996 Speaker 1: feeling of wellness. It doesn't mean that we don't struggle 540 00:28:58,996 --> 00:29:01,996 Speaker 1: with other things or get sick from other reasons, but 541 00:29:02,236 --> 00:29:06,156 Speaker 1: it brings this sense of liberation that there's nothing to memorize, 542 00:29:06,236 --> 00:29:08,836 Speaker 1: there's nothing to calculate. I remember, I just would have 543 00:29:08,876 --> 00:29:10,876 Speaker 1: to work so hard to kind of keep track of 544 00:29:11,036 --> 00:29:13,316 Speaker 1: what I ate and how much should I be eating now? 545 00:29:13,356 --> 00:29:16,356 Speaker 1: And what time is it now. It's just the answers 546 00:29:16,356 --> 00:29:19,036 Speaker 1: are inside. It's so simple. It's just like simple, but 547 00:29:19,116 --> 00:29:22,196 Speaker 1: not easy. One place inside, same place. I know if 548 00:29:22,196 --> 00:29:24,476 Speaker 1: I'm thirsty or hungry or tired or have to go 549 00:29:24,516 --> 00:29:27,516 Speaker 1: to the bathroom. But it does take a lot of unlearning. 550 00:29:27,916 --> 00:29:30,876 Speaker 1: So yes, it is so liberating and freeing. And that's 551 00:29:30,876 --> 00:29:33,116 Speaker 1: what I hear from people often. I hear from people 552 00:29:33,156 --> 00:29:37,196 Speaker 1: that have been dieting and rioting for decades and now 553 00:29:37,236 --> 00:29:41,636 Speaker 1: they're feeling freer, and then a lot of grief comes up, 554 00:29:41,676 --> 00:29:46,036 Speaker 1: like that they wasted so much time obsessing on food 555 00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:49,436 Speaker 1: and their body and to just have some freedom where 556 00:29:49,476 --> 00:29:52,316 Speaker 1: you tune inside, you eat what you and your body love, 557 00:29:52,356 --> 00:29:56,396 Speaker 1: and like you stop when you're satisfied and comfortably full, 558 00:29:56,916 --> 00:29:59,916 Speaker 1: and you deal with your feelings in other ways. And 559 00:29:59,916 --> 00:30:01,756 Speaker 1: it's kind of ironic because I feel like, you know, 560 00:30:01,876 --> 00:30:05,036 Speaker 1: people when they go into the diet mentality, you know, 561 00:30:05,196 --> 00:30:08,876 Speaker 1: they're willing to learn, you know, some elaborate point system 562 00:30:09,116 --> 00:30:11,636 Speaker 1: they're willing to learn. You know how many carbs like 563 00:30:11,716 --> 00:30:14,076 Speaker 1: you know, slice of pepperoni has They're willing to learn 564 00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:17,076 Speaker 1: and put lots of time into some new workout. You know. 565 00:30:17,116 --> 00:30:19,516 Speaker 1: Intuitive eating kind of is the same, like if you 566 00:30:19,676 --> 00:30:22,316 Speaker 1: just put in the time and listen, you'll get this 567 00:30:22,356 --> 00:30:26,316 Speaker 1: benefit that won't have the blowback later one hundred percent. 568 00:30:26,356 --> 00:30:28,236 Speaker 1: And how much I waited and how many fat rams 569 00:30:28,236 --> 00:30:31,636 Speaker 1: were in a you know cookie, and yeah, exactly the 570 00:30:31,676 --> 00:30:34,596 Speaker 1: other day, I had bought some cookies a couple of 571 00:30:34,596 --> 00:30:37,116 Speaker 1: weeks ago from a bakery that my husband and I love, 572 00:30:37,156 --> 00:30:39,676 Speaker 1: and I ate a few when I got home, and 573 00:30:39,716 --> 00:30:43,516 Speaker 1: then I put them in a tup aware and about 574 00:30:43,516 --> 00:30:46,596 Speaker 1: a week or so later, he said, I'm starting to 575 00:30:46,596 --> 00:30:48,836 Speaker 1: finish up these cookies. Do you want to get in 576 00:30:48,836 --> 00:30:51,796 Speaker 1: on any before they're gone? And I had completely forgotten 577 00:30:51,836 --> 00:30:54,556 Speaker 1: about them, and I thought, there you go. I mean 578 00:30:54,996 --> 00:30:57,956 Speaker 1: I would have been possessed by them eating them all 579 00:30:57,956 --> 00:31:00,876 Speaker 1: on the way home, told myself, I can't have any cookies, 580 00:31:00,876 --> 00:31:03,596 Speaker 1: and I had a very difficult relationship in the past, 581 00:31:03,676 --> 00:31:06,556 Speaker 1: but just that I could forget about them, enjoy them 582 00:31:06,556 --> 00:31:08,796 Speaker 1: when I had them, and then was not possessed by them, 583 00:31:09,516 --> 00:31:11,196 Speaker 1: you know, say no more. I think part of it 584 00:31:11,236 --> 00:31:13,756 Speaker 1: is that we get really seduced by, you know, the 585 00:31:14,236 --> 00:31:16,356 Speaker 1: hope of a new diet, and you know, maybe in 586 00:31:16,396 --> 00:31:18,396 Speaker 1: some cases even the kind of you know, veneer of 587 00:31:18,436 --> 00:31:20,396 Speaker 1: science that comes with some of these diets that are 588 00:31:20,396 --> 00:31:22,956 Speaker 1: out there. But I think there's also like a deep 589 00:31:23,196 --> 00:31:26,276 Speaker 1: skepticism of our own inner voice. You know. I've heard 590 00:31:26,316 --> 00:31:29,996 Speaker 1: people who hear about intuitive eating will say, yeah, other 591 00:31:30,036 --> 00:31:32,076 Speaker 1: people have an inner voice when it comes to food, 592 00:31:32,116 --> 00:31:34,276 Speaker 1: but not me, Like I'm always going to be this 593 00:31:34,436 --> 00:31:37,756 Speaker 1: ravenous pit that's riotous all the time. I mean, do 594 00:31:37,796 --> 00:31:39,516 Speaker 1: you get that in your students of people who just 595 00:31:39,596 --> 00:31:41,836 Speaker 1: simply don't trust that the inner voice is in there, 596 00:31:41,996 --> 00:31:46,516 Speaker 1: that they'll find it right. But we've been brainwashed to 597 00:31:46,676 --> 00:31:49,476 Speaker 1: believe that a certain body size will bring us happiness, 598 00:31:49,596 --> 00:31:53,516 Speaker 1: health and forever afterness of everything, and so that brainwashing 599 00:31:53,596 --> 00:31:56,236 Speaker 1: is thick. So it takes a lot of washing our 600 00:31:56,276 --> 00:32:01,356 Speaker 1: brains of those beliefs, those programs they're so deep for 601 00:32:01,436 --> 00:32:04,396 Speaker 1: so many people, because if you look at it, well, 602 00:32:04,396 --> 00:32:07,276 Speaker 1: if someone says to themselves, I've been dieting on January 603 00:32:07,316 --> 00:32:11,156 Speaker 1: first for the last however many years, and then it 604 00:32:11,276 --> 00:32:15,396 Speaker 1: ends up I end up failing the diet, thinking the failure, 605 00:32:15,956 --> 00:32:19,236 Speaker 1: I end up blowing it. I end up rebelliously eating, 606 00:32:19,356 --> 00:32:21,556 Speaker 1: I end up hating myself. How many years in a 607 00:32:21,636 --> 00:32:23,116 Speaker 1: row have I done that? And now I'm going to 608 00:32:23,196 --> 00:32:27,396 Speaker 1: try it again. But it's not your fault. The diet industry, 609 00:32:27,436 --> 00:32:30,596 Speaker 1: the fitness industry, the media, they got us right where 610 00:32:30,596 --> 00:32:33,756 Speaker 1: they want us. So it's really taking a stand against 611 00:32:33,756 --> 00:32:37,276 Speaker 1: those messages instead of taking a stand against your poor body. 612 00:32:38,156 --> 00:32:40,996 Speaker 1: I hope all my listeners can start following Andrea's advice 613 00:32:41,476 --> 00:32:44,236 Speaker 1: and commit to shutting out those outside diet voices and 614 00:32:44,356 --> 00:32:46,636 Speaker 1: listening to what your body truly needs in the new year. 615 00:32:47,436 --> 00:32:49,276 Speaker 1: And if you want to learn more, you should check 616 00:32:49,276 --> 00:32:51,836 Speaker 1: out some of Andrea's courses on insight Time or app 617 00:32:52,196 --> 00:32:55,116 Speaker 1: including my favorite, Making Peace with the Body You Live in. 618 00:32:56,476 --> 00:32:58,996 Speaker 1: Next week, we'll tackle ways to listen to another quiet 619 00:32:59,076 --> 00:33:01,236 Speaker 1: voice that often gets drowned out in the midst of 620 00:33:01,276 --> 00:33:04,236 Speaker 1: all our New year's plans and goals. It's the voice 621 00:33:04,236 --> 00:33:06,196 Speaker 1: that tells us that we'd probably feel better if we 622 00:33:06,196 --> 00:33:09,076 Speaker 1: could be a little less critical of ourselves. We'll meet 623 00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:11,836 Speaker 1: a psychologist who thinks we should commit to a new workout, 624 00:33:12,156 --> 00:33:15,556 Speaker 1: one that exercises are positive self talk muscles, and that 625 00:33:15,636 --> 00:33:17,636 Speaker 1: doing so can help us be a little kinder to 626 00:33:17,676 --> 00:33:20,476 Speaker 1: ourselves in the new Year. We'll see just how to 627 00:33:20,516 --> 00:33:23,276 Speaker 1: do that in the next special New Year's Season episode 628 00:33:23,316 --> 00:33:30,876 Speaker 1: of The Happiness Lab with Me, Doctor Laurie Sandoms. The 629 00:33:30,916 --> 00:33:33,716 Speaker 1: Happiness Lab is co written by Ryan Dilley and is 630 00:33:33,716 --> 00:33:37,076 Speaker 1: produced by Ryan Dilley and Courtney Guerino. The show was 631 00:33:37,156 --> 00:33:40,276 Speaker 1: mastered by Evan Viola and our original music was composed 632 00:33:40,276 --> 00:33:44,036 Speaker 1: by Zachary Silver. Special thanks to Shane Beard, Greta Kone, 633 00:33:44,196 --> 00:33:48,276 Speaker 1: Nicole Morano, Morgan Ratner, Maggie Taylor, Jacob Weisberg, my agent, 634 00:33:48,356 --> 00:33:50,876 Speaker 1: Ben Davis, and the rest of the Pushkin team. The 635 00:33:50,916 --> 00:33:53,476 Speaker 1: Happiness Lab is brought to you by Pushkin Industries and 636 00:33:53,556 --> 00:33:55,156 Speaker 1: by Me, Doctor Laurie Sanders.