WEBVTT -  “Anywayyyyy … Next Question” | Mailbag

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<v Speaker 1>More More, More, More Better.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, everyone, producer isis here.

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<v Speaker 3>I have some very cool news to share before we

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<v Speaker 3>jump into today's episode, More Better with Stephanie and Melissa

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<v Speaker 3>has been named a finalist in four categories at the

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<v Speaker 3>Signal Awards. We're up for Best Comedy Episode for our

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<v Speaker 3>vindication episode with the amazing Chelsea Peretti, plus Advice and

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<v Speaker 3>how To Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and Buddy Podcast. We're

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<v Speaker 3>so grateful to be recognized alongside so many talented creators,

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<v Speaker 3>and we couldn't have done this without you, our listeners.

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<v Speaker 2>So here's where you come in.

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<v Speaker 3>There's a Listener's Choice Award in each of our four categories,

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<v Speaker 3>which means you can vote for us four times. Here's

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<v Speaker 3>how it works. Head to vote dot Signal Award dot com.

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<v Speaker 3>That's v O T E, dot S I G N

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<v Speaker 3>A l A w a rd dot com. Search for

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<v Speaker 3>More Better and you'll see us pop up in four categories.

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<v Speaker 3>Click into each category one by one and cast your vote.

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<v Speaker 3>Voting is open through October ninth, and it takes just

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<v Speaker 3>a couple of minutes to support us in all four

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<v Speaker 3>We would be so honored and.

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<v Speaker 2>Grateful for your votes.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you, so much for being the best listeners ever.

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<v Speaker 3>Now let's get into the show.

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<v Speaker 4>We all have those moments.

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<v Speaker 2>We've all punched somebody in the neck.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, have you not?

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<v Speaker 3>I would.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a short list of people that I would actually

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<v Speaker 2>punch in the neck, and I would go for it

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred percent. I'm talking like I would collapse trichy

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<v Speaker 2>a thumb out, Like I'm okay to break my own

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<v Speaker 2>thumb if it really gets up in there and does

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<v Speaker 2>some damage. Anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>Next question, I gots so violent.

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<v Speaker 4>More, More, Better.

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<v Speaker 3>Or Better?

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<v Speaker 1>Hi seventy, I'm so excited to be talking to you again.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm apologies. I'm on vacation right now, so I'm

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<v Speaker 1>doing this on my iPad and I can't figure out

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<v Speaker 1>how to make the mic work. So this is this

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<v Speaker 1>is what you're getting. This is vacation Melissa in my

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<v Speaker 1>mom's friend's house because there's no screaming children here.

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<v Speaker 2>Nice.

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<v Speaker 4>Welcome to More Better a podcast?

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<v Speaker 2>What what voice are we doing?

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<v Speaker 5>What is that?

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<v Speaker 1>But it's kind of we're u in the Star Wars universe.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe I would love to be in the Star Wars universe. Listen,

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<v Speaker 2>if you guys are listening, I don't know who's listening

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<v Speaker 2>to this that has any power over there? But Melissa

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<v Speaker 2>and I are very interested.

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<v Speaker 1>Where ready. We won't complain about being in the makeup

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<v Speaker 1>chair to nothing, nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>No uncomfortable costume, holding a sword for a long time.

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<v Speaker 1>Lightsaber. Excuse me, excuse me, lightsaber, lightsaber.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, if any of you guys have any of that power,

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<v Speaker 2>we're listening. Uh, this podcast is now about Star Wars.

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<v Speaker 1>This this be more better at Star Wars.

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<v Speaker 4>But Jephany and Melissa, oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>It runs for one episode because everyone tunes out because

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<v Speaker 2>they're like, they don't know anything about the universe.

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<v Speaker 4>They've already changed the channel. They're not here anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>Change the channel. Wow, oh god, that made me sound

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<v Speaker 2>wow channel. You know, my sister is telling me the

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<v Speaker 2>other day she heard a little boy ross is taking

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<v Speaker 2>an art class, and a little boy in the art

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<v Speaker 2>class say we're gonna go home and watch blah blah

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<v Speaker 2>blah on Peacock on Peacock, and she was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't believe it. He knew, he knew Peacock. And I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, yeah, because like when the TV turns on,

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<v Speaker 2>when you changed the provider there, it goes like up

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<v Speaker 2>on the screen, you know, just training the children like

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<v Speaker 2>And by the way, feel free to tune into Twisted

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<v Speaker 2>Mettle season two. It is only on Peacock. That was

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<v Speaker 2>not an ad. It just really it was a great

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<v Speaker 2>moment for me to but yes, truly it's just weird too.

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<v Speaker 4>I can't wait to watch season two.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember the first time that Enzo saw like commercials

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<v Speaker 1>interrupt a show he was watching, and.

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<v Speaker 4>He was like and he was like, what this bullshit?

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<v Speaker 2>We used to live for them.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a commercial. See they're telling you about this new toy.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh my god, No, I used to live Surprise Surprise,

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<v Speaker 6>Pupper Surprise. How many puff uppies are They're inside suppress

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<v Speaker 6>Suppressed Puppy Surprise.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure we can't get the rights to that. You'll

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<v Speaker 2>have to cut it out. God, do you remember Puppy Surprise.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like you could get I feel like we're

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<v Speaker 2>three or four fun. I was like, no, there's always two,

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<v Speaker 2>it's always two boys.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cabbage Patch dolls, yeah girls. My mom

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<v Speaker 4>wouldn't let me have them because she said they were ugly.

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<v Speaker 2>They were ugly.

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<v Speaker 1>She was like, why do you want that ugly baby?

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<v Speaker 6>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>My god, they were ugly, but I had a little

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<v Speaker 2>I had a little Latina one that had like brown skin,

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<v Speaker 2>and I loved her so much.

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<v Speaker 4>She was so cute.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah she was bald, but she was cute. She was

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<v Speaker 2>one of those premies. Anyway, guys, welcome to More Better,

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<v Speaker 2>a podcast about toys from the eighties. Ah, we are

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<v Speaker 2>off the rails if you didn't know.

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<v Speaker 1>That's most of a maryl and that's Stephane Beatrice.

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<v Speaker 2>And this is we're I think we're a little off

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<v Speaker 2>the rails because we're gonna do a little male episode.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so it's also going to be all over the

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<v Speaker 1>place like we are right now. More Better.

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<v Speaker 2>We have been keeping up with all of your emails

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<v Speaker 2>and messages and stuff, and thank you guys so much,

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<v Speaker 2>especially for the nice reviews, the nice comments. It really

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<v Speaker 2>helps us a lot. So today we're gonna answer some

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<v Speaker 2>questions and read some emails. Let's do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's do it.

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<v Speaker 4>Number one.

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<v Speaker 1>Roles that changed you from Annabelle. I feel like this

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<v Speaker 1>is a voice note, is it?

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<v Speaker 7>Hey, guys, I love the podcast. I just wanted to

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<v Speaker 7>share how Brooklyn nine nine basically unlocked my bisexual awakening.

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<v Speaker 7>It started, you know, when my roommate knew I was

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<v Speaker 7>going through hard times and she suggested that we watch

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<v Speaker 7>her comfort show together, which is Brooklyn nine nine. And

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<v Speaker 7>at first I was just like, oh, this this show

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<v Speaker 7>is goret It's like witty, it's fun, it's a feel

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<v Speaker 7>good show. And then as I got to know the

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<v Speaker 7>characters more and Rosa came out as bisexual, I was

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<v Speaker 7>like hit by a truck, you know, in a good way.

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<v Speaker 7>Like I've known I'm queer for a while, but like

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<v Speaker 7>never came out to anyone, and so, you know, seeing

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<v Speaker 7>Rosa do it was like was like the universe like

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<v Speaker 7>handing me a permission slip to exist. And what makes

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<v Speaker 7>it even better is like seeing Stephanie talk so openly

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<v Speaker 7>about her bisexuality in real life. That kind of representation

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<v Speaker 7>made me feel like so seeing and safe and validated

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<v Speaker 7>and honestly just like more confident. And I know this

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<v Speaker 7>like all sounds super sappy and maybe cliche, but I

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<v Speaker 7>just wanted to thank you. And I guess my question

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<v Speaker 7>is like, have you ever had a show or character

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<v Speaker 7>that changed the way you know you see yourself in

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<v Speaker 7>a positive way? I mean, I think there's definitely a

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<v Speaker 7>multitude of negative influences the media has on people. So

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<v Speaker 7>I was like wondering if you could reflect characters that

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<v Speaker 7>made you feel represented and validated and the importance of

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<v Speaker 7>that in the work you do. Yeah, and just as

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<v Speaker 7>a side note, after coming out as by to my roommate,

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<v Speaker 7>we have put together a queer altar in our home

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<v Speaker 7>that includes a bisexual oil painting of Rosa Diaz. It

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<v Speaker 7>sounds weirder than it is, but just look at the photo, bye,

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<v Speaker 7>she said.

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<v Speaker 2>It sounds it sounds weirder than it is. It sounds

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<v Speaker 2>weirder than it is. It's not weird.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so cute and it's so cute.

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<v Speaker 4>Also, this really, whoever did this painting of you? Is

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<v Speaker 4>really great.

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<v Speaker 2>Good, that's good. There was the little life flag there.

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<v Speaker 1>Well.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, Annabel, thanks for saying that. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>we appreciate your roommate and you so much for I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, loving the show and loving what we did

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<v Speaker 2>all those many seasons, and it means a lot to us,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. I we never ever ever take it for

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<v Speaker 2>granted that people still really appreciate that show and how

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<v Speaker 2>much joy it brings to people, and how comforted they

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<v Speaker 2>are by it, and how much they feel like they

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<v Speaker 2>know us because of it. It's really a special relationship

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<v Speaker 2>I think that we have with people that love Brooklyn.

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<v Speaker 2>So thank you for that. I don't know, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>like I like in terms of like watching stuff like

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<v Speaker 2>you and I have talked about this before, but like

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<v Speaker 2>Julia Luis Dreyfus on Seinfeld being this like one woman

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<v Speaker 2>in a room full of like heavy jokes men and

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<v Speaker 2>holding her own and like of course being sexual and

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<v Speaker 2>funny at the same time beautiful and ugly depending on

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<v Speaker 2>what was needed for the joke. And the moment was

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<v Speaker 2>like it was life changing because it was like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my god, Wow, all of the things I want to

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<v Speaker 2>do all of those things.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you and I have that one in common. The

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<v Speaker 1>other big one for me two is Tina Fey and

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<v Speaker 1>Amy Poehler taking over Weekend Update on SNL.

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<v Speaker 4>I like remember that moment.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I even remember their first show me

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<v Speaker 1>or the first time that I watched it, And there

0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:17.120
<v Speaker 1>was just something about these two women, their vibe, the

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<v Speaker 1>style of their comedy, that they could be brash and

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<v Speaker 1>vulgar and all the things like they were just so

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<v Speaker 1>many things, and that particular thing I think always felt

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<v Speaker 1>like a.

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<v Speaker 4>Sort of powerful position on the show.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe I don't know why, not even knowing at the

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<v Speaker 1>time anything about SNL or like the behind the scenes,

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<v Speaker 1>but it was like, oh, that's a big deal, Like

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<v Speaker 1>whoever gets to do that is a big deal totally,

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<v Speaker 1>and that it was two women and those two women

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<v Speaker 1>in particular was just I don't know, yeah, sort of

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<v Speaker 1>how Annabel said, like it gave me permission to be,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, not have to be so lady like, not

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<v Speaker 1>have to be so feminine, you know whatever.

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<v Speaker 4>I could be crass, I could be sarcastic, I could

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<v Speaker 4>be and still be feminine or I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>It just was like there were in the same as

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<v Speaker 1>you were saying watching Elane on Seinfeld, like things that

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<v Speaker 1>you feel being undone.

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<v Speaker 4>Or unworked in your head.

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<v Speaker 1>You know that it's like, oh I don't have to

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<v Speaker 1>be a certain way right that it just feels impactful. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Daphnie Rubin Vego was another one for me, like

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<v Speaker 2>when Rent first came out, which was like when I

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.280
<v Speaker 2>was still in high school, so google lay Alo, but

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<v Speaker 2>like yeah, she definitely was like oh my god, Like

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<v Speaker 2>her voice doesn't sound like yeah, every other I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>her voice is incredible, super powerful, definitely incredibly distinct, like

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<v Speaker 2>when she's singing, you know, with her right, and up

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<v Speaker 2>until that point in my in my own personal history

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<v Speaker 2>of like and I didn't grow I didn't grow up

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<v Speaker 2>near Broadway or I wasn't really I didn't have access

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<v Speaker 2>to like seeing shows and stuff. So like the only

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<v Speaker 2>recordings that I had heard of, like Broadway musicals were

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<v Speaker 2>like a certain kind of style, right, and so like

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<v Speaker 2>when I heard her doing Rent for the first time,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, what is this? And Adina Menzel too,

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<v Speaker 2>it was just like what is this? You know, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>but particularly for Daphne because she was Latina, I was like.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, they're definitely there. Certainly. Of course, there's like

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<v Speaker 2>moments where you're just watching stuff and you're going like,

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<v Speaker 2>this is what I want to do. I want to

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<v Speaker 2>do this, you know.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Sorry, not sorry, but like Ariel and Belle sorry not sorry,

0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:52.600
<v Speaker 2>and Cobbsworth Lumier for that matter, Okay, not even sorry

0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:53.040
<v Speaker 2>about it.

0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:53.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Next one, This is from a Hannah heimless in Stephanie

0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:01.360
<v Speaker 2>or whoever is reading this email. We're reading it. Hannah.

0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm a huge fan of you both that's really sweet,

0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.120
<v Speaker 2>especially your roles in Brooklyn nin nine. I've watched that

0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.120
<v Speaker 2>show at least ten times and your podcasts. You are

0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.680
<v Speaker 2>both such huge role models to me growing up. Hannah,

0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:16.920
<v Speaker 2>how old are you? Okay? I must admit I am

0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:18.800
<v Speaker 2>a bit late to the party. However, I am listening

0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.640
<v Speaker 2>to your anxiety and I are BFFs episode and I

0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:23.959
<v Speaker 2>have a request. My topic request is for an episode

0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:28.080
<v Speaker 2>on how you deal with rejection or criticism. I mean,

0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:31.360
<v Speaker 2>we could probably do a whole episode on this, we could.

0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:32.000
<v Speaker 1>She said.

0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:34.320
<v Speaker 2>I know it's a pretty broad topic, but hopefully it's

0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.440
<v Speaker 2>not too broad. As someone who beats themselves up over

0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:40.360
<v Speaker 2>any sort of rejection and or criticism, I was hoping

0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:42.080
<v Speaker 2>you both might be able to share some tips on

0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.760
<v Speaker 2>how you deal with rejection and criticism, as I'm sure

0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:47.600
<v Speaker 2>your path success has not been all butterflies and rainbows.

0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:54.640
<v Speaker 2>Thanks so much for your time, Hannah. Oh, how do

0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:59.440
<v Speaker 2>I deal with rejection from people that I'm dating? Not

0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:06.000
<v Speaker 2>well aggressively? How do you tell?

0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:07.200
<v Speaker 6>You know?

0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:08.400
<v Speaker 2>I just get a little like.

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:09.080
<v Speaker 1>A fuck you?

0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:15.160
<v Speaker 2>Then from jobs I try. I know this is something

0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:17.679
<v Speaker 2>that I've learned, but and I learned this from our

0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.520
<v Speaker 2>mutual friend Lena, but this or something better for the

0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:23.400
<v Speaker 2>good of all concerned. And I know it's hard to

0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:27.520
<v Speaker 2>say to myself and it's hard to believe sometimes, but

0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:33.040
<v Speaker 2>like it, I hold on to that because it is

0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.880
<v Speaker 2>I in my life. It has been true. It's like

0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 2>maybe that thing didn't come through and I didn't get

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:43.400
<v Speaker 2>that thing, but there's something else coming for me. You know,

0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.200
<v Speaker 2>there's something else that that thing was supposed to go

0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.240
<v Speaker 2>to someone else. It wasn't my thing. It was someone

0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:53.800
<v Speaker 2>else's thing, you know, because rejection as an artist is

0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:57.440
<v Speaker 2>really difficult because you feel like, what about this thing

0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:00.040
<v Speaker 2>that I created that's like of my soul and I

0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.040
<v Speaker 2>gave it to you and like I want you to

0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.160
<v Speaker 2>choose it for your project that you're going to do,

0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:08.600
<v Speaker 2>and it's like very difficult. I was up for a

0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.880
<v Speaker 2>mini series that I really was interested in. I really

0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:17.360
<v Speaker 2>wanted it, and I auditioned for it and they the

0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.280
<v Speaker 2>thing that they always say to us is they win

0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.680
<v Speaker 2>a different way, And like I always hate that, but

0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.640
<v Speaker 2>it's it's true. I mean, if you think about the

0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:30.360
<v Speaker 2>best version of that line to me in that moment

0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:33.960
<v Speaker 2>was like they did they win a different way? The

0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:36.600
<v Speaker 2>way that they're going to go is something that you

0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:39.960
<v Speaker 2>weren't the right fit for. And so like by shoving

0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:41.840
<v Speaker 2>a square peg into a round hole, it would have

0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:45.920
<v Speaker 2>been funky, and like who knows why, who knows why,

0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:50.280
<v Speaker 2>you know they went that way, but they did, you know,

0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:51.400
<v Speaker 2>And so like.

0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:57.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, my actor friend of mine, who was an actor

0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.720
<v Speaker 1>when she was very young, also child actor, shared with

0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.000
<v Speaker 1>me that when she was a kid, her mom said

0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:06.080
<v Speaker 1>this great thing when she wouldn't get rolls, she was

0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:09.760
<v Speaker 1>like her mom, her mom was like, it's like flavors

0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:14.760
<v Speaker 1>of ice cream. They just wanted strawberry and you're mint

0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:19.640
<v Speaker 1>chocolate chip. And it doesn't mean that you're any less

0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:23.880
<v Speaker 1>than or not as good. They just wanted They wanted strawberry,

0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:28.720
<v Speaker 1>and you're the most delicious, awesome, best version of mint

0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.920
<v Speaker 1>chocolate chip. Totally, but that's that's not what they wanted.

0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 2>That's like that Dita Antees quote where she's like, some

0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.480
<v Speaker 2>people just you could be the juiciest, ripest peach, and

0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:41.920
<v Speaker 2>some people just don't like peaches, which also always makes

0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.800
<v Speaker 2>me think of that thing that he says in Face Off.

0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:45.840
<v Speaker 1>Where he's like I could eat a peacher.

0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:53.080
<v Speaker 2>Sorry, Nicholas Cage we're the greatest actors of our generation. Okay,

0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:55.880
<v Speaker 2>all right, next one, you read the next one, you

0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 2>read the next one.

0:16:56.680 --> 0:17:03.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, okay, hold on, all right, Stephanie, Melissa and

0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.960
<v Speaker 1>the more better Team. I just listened to the latest episode,

0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:09.000
<v Speaker 1>and I am so grateful that you chose to answer

0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:15.360
<v Speaker 1>my question about boundaries. Ooh, this is a a Oh

0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:15.720
<v Speaker 1>my god?

0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 4>What is? What are words? Anyway?

0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:17.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:21.800
<v Speaker 1>It was actually good timing because a couple of weeks

0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.120
<v Speaker 1>after I sent this, I tried to set a boundary

0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:26.560
<v Speaker 1>with someone at work who tends to take advantage of

0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:31.359
<v Speaker 1>my resourcefulness, politeness, and patience, and it backfired. They've since

0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.720
<v Speaker 1>been super petty. Oh shit, you both were right. Setting

0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:38.520
<v Speaker 1>boundaries is so hard, and in my experience, especially hard

0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:41.840
<v Speaker 1>to do in the workplace side. Anyway, it was validating

0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:43.960
<v Speaker 1>to hear you both confirm it was a challenge for

0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:48.120
<v Speaker 1>you too. Sometimes we're all a work in progress, hugs,

0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.080
<v Speaker 1>looping loop same.

0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:51.840
<v Speaker 4>Side.

0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:57.480
<v Speaker 1>But I still believe even when it backfires, like their,

0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:02.000
<v Speaker 1>their pettiness is because you set a boundary, and it's

0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:06.920
<v Speaker 1>like about them, it's not about you. Unfortunately, that pettiness

0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:10.080
<v Speaker 1>is like going to disturb your peace and still like,

0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:11.480
<v Speaker 1>but I think you.

0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.600
<v Speaker 4>Just have to like hold to it, and I don't know.

0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:17.320
<v Speaker 4>Have some try to have some fun with their pettiness

0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:17.800
<v Speaker 4>if you can.

0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:21.800
<v Speaker 2>That sucks so hard, though, I'm so sorry that's so hard.

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:25.160
<v Speaker 1>Can you pet them? Can you match their pettiness?

0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:26.600
<v Speaker 4>I don't know where you.

0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:28.760
<v Speaker 2>Work, but like, can you listen to this super loud

0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.640
<v Speaker 2>on your little like tiny speaker at your desk, and like.

0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:35.639
<v Speaker 8>I'm sorry they were being a child about you setting

0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:38.080
<v Speaker 8>a boundary. They probably have never had anyone set a

0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.560
<v Speaker 8>boundary in their entire life because they're used to be

0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:41.639
<v Speaker 8>walking all over people.

0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:44.560
<v Speaker 2>That's so weird that that that person that wrote in

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:51.200
<v Speaker 2>his name Lupin, I have name Lupin. You're petty, more Better,

0:18:55.359 --> 0:19:00.600
<v Speaker 2>More Better, Okay, dear Stephanie Melissa, and my name is

0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.720
<v Speaker 2>girt Jan and I live in the Netherlands. Netherlands. I

0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:06.359
<v Speaker 2>said girt Jan really well, though, Okay, now try to

0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:10.800
<v Speaker 2>pronounce my name. Ha ha ha, girl, I couldn't pronounce Netherlands. Okay,

0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:15.920
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna call you GJ. I really enjoyed it. Listening

0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:18.080
<v Speaker 2>to your podcast More Better quickly became my favorite pod

0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.240
<v Speaker 2>to listen to your elaiers. Oh that's so sweet. I

0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:22.760
<v Speaker 2>was deeply touched by your final episode. Stephanie. Thank you

0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:24.719
<v Speaker 2>for your honesty about your skin issues. I'm forty one

0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:26.639
<v Speaker 2>now and I've had serious skin troubles too in my

0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:28.639
<v Speaker 2>late teen years and twenties, and even though it's been

0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.240
<v Speaker 2>a long time, it still has its impact today. I

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:33.600
<v Speaker 2>felt really insecure back then, and it still feels like

0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:36.120
<v Speaker 2>a scar that won't heal easily. I don't talk about

0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:37.720
<v Speaker 2>it often, so it was nice to listen to someone

0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:39.640
<v Speaker 2>who was dealing with the same issues. Don't worry, I'm

0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:42.960
<v Speaker 2>doing great now. I'm happy and have a beautiful family. Hey,

0:19:43.800 --> 0:19:46.040
<v Speaker 2>my question for you is how do you get more

0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:51.200
<v Speaker 2>better at dealing with insecurities from the past. Thank you

0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:57.440
<v Speaker 2>and keep up the good work. Girt Jan GJ, GJ

0:19:58.080 --> 0:19:59.320
<v Speaker 2>great question.

0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.919
<v Speaker 4>And try You're like nope, no.

0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:06.080
<v Speaker 2>GJ, No, I'm trying.

0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:09.360
<v Speaker 1>Go Yeah, I mean there, it's like it's it's for

0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:13.359
<v Speaker 1>me passing securities. Those are all my triggers, right, like

0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.320
<v Speaker 1>the like the ship that comes out of nowhere where

0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:19.119
<v Speaker 1>you're just like, why am I triggered by that? And

0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:21.000
<v Speaker 1>then it's like, oh, right, because I used to feel

0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:25.399
<v Speaker 1>really shitty about this back in the day.

0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:30.480
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, And it's it's I think when it blindsides me

0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:38.200
<v Speaker 5>and I get like very uh anxious or just regulated,

0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:42.080
<v Speaker 5>and you know, and then I don't really know why

0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:44.679
<v Speaker 5>I'm feeling that way, and like it takes me a

0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:48.920
<v Speaker 5>minute to feel like to put together the pieces of like, oh,

0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:50.000
<v Speaker 5>this is something I used.

0:20:49.920 --> 0:20:52.920
<v Speaker 1>To really struggle with, right, and I've moved and even

0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:55.000
<v Speaker 1>though I've done the work and I've probably and I've grown,

0:20:55.080 --> 0:21:00.520
<v Speaker 1>and it is, like GJ said, where it's it's it

0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:03.040
<v Speaker 1>is a still scar that you carry around with you.

0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:09.119
<v Speaker 1>And scars can be fucked with sometimes sometimes stars can

0:21:09.160 --> 0:21:14.840
<v Speaker 1>be ripped back open. And it's I think it's always

0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:21.800
<v Speaker 1>the moment where I where I make the connection that oh,

0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:25.840
<v Speaker 1>this is, you know, whatever the body issues or the

0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:29.080
<v Speaker 1>I used to like change my outfits a million times

0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:32.040
<v Speaker 1>before school because I thought everything looked terrible on me.

0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 1>And like sometimes even as an adult, I'll you be

0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:37.480
<v Speaker 1>getting ready for something and I'm and it's not about

0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:40.600
<v Speaker 1>what I'm wearing. I'm anxious about something about the event

0:21:40.800 --> 0:21:44.480
<v Speaker 1>that manifests into me changing my clothes at gazillion times.

0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:47.840
<v Speaker 1>And it's just like some expression of anxiety and until

0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:51.320
<v Speaker 1>I like take some deep breaths and like usually I

0:21:51.359 --> 0:21:54.160
<v Speaker 1>have to like get present because I'm not present right,

0:21:54.240 --> 0:21:56.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking about the thing that I'm scared to do

0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:00.320
<v Speaker 1>or the thing that I'm walking into. And when I

0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:03.840
<v Speaker 1>like pull myself back into the present moment and I'm like, Okay,

0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:07.520
<v Speaker 1>this is not about what I actually look like, or

0:22:09.000 --> 0:22:11.639
<v Speaker 1>or even if it is, it's like, Okay, well, what

0:22:11.640 --> 0:22:13.920
<v Speaker 1>what in my closet do I love wearing how but

0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I just wear something that makes me feel really good

0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:21.280
<v Speaker 1>or really comfortable or you know whatever, and just this

0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:24.000
<v Speaker 1>is actually all about that I'm anxious about this thing

0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:25.760
<v Speaker 1>that I'm about to do or that I'm about to

0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:29.320
<v Speaker 1>walk into, and like let me deal with that, yeah,

0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:32.560
<v Speaker 1>and not you know, not this like because I'm not

0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:36.400
<v Speaker 1>insecure anymore in that way, it's just like an old

0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:37.880
<v Speaker 1>habit kind of like spreading.

0:22:38.119 --> 0:22:39.960
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, that's kind of like it's like it's

0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:40.720
<v Speaker 4>with it.

0:22:40.720 --> 0:22:44.879
<v Speaker 2>It's kind of like you're saying, sometimes it feels like

0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:49.680
<v Speaker 2>it's something from the past, or like because you're dealing

0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:53.080
<v Speaker 2>with something new, the past thing kind of like comes

0:22:53.160 --> 0:22:53.720
<v Speaker 2>up and like.

0:22:54.280 --> 0:22:57.600
<v Speaker 1>Is right, It's like old habits we're big yeah yeah, yeah,

0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:02.480
<v Speaker 1>yeah yeah, And it's like just and it's always I

0:23:02.560 --> 0:23:06.000
<v Speaker 1>find when I have those moments of past and securities

0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:11.439
<v Speaker 1>coming up, it's usually like about something else and I

0:23:11.440 --> 0:23:13.800
<v Speaker 1>have to check in and figure out, like what what

0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:17.520
<v Speaker 1>is the thing that's actually pulling at me? Because I

0:23:17.560 --> 0:23:19.880
<v Speaker 1>know I've done the work to get past this insecurity.

0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:25.440
<v Speaker 2>I usually know when it's an insecurity about the past.

0:23:25.760 --> 0:23:30.720
<v Speaker 2>New ones surprise surprised me all the time, but the

0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:34.600
<v Speaker 2>past ones, it's a lot of reminding myself like I

0:23:34.640 --> 0:23:37.399
<v Speaker 2>already did this, already know this. Let me just like

0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:40.520
<v Speaker 2>go through the whole movie of what this is, the

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:43.000
<v Speaker 2>whole movie of what this is. Is that I used

0:23:43.000 --> 0:23:45.560
<v Speaker 2>to be this and now I feel this about this

0:23:45.720 --> 0:23:47.399
<v Speaker 2>and so like yeah, what did I used to be?

0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:49.920
<v Speaker 2>And what am I now? And is it? And it's

0:23:50.040 --> 0:23:54.560
<v Speaker 2>like I examine what's around it, you know, Like I'm

0:23:54.640 --> 0:23:56.680
<v Speaker 2>going to an event and there's going to be you know,

0:23:57.720 --> 0:23:59.920
<v Speaker 2>people there that I want to work with, but I'm

0:24:00.080 --> 0:24:04.399
<v Speaker 2>how to talk to people, you know, which is like

0:24:04.800 --> 0:24:06.960
<v Speaker 2>that that's not going to make or break out unless

0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:10.359
<v Speaker 2>you like, you know, punch somebody in the neck or something.

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:15.879
<v Speaker 2>So like it's okay, it's okay. You know, there's like

0:24:15.920 --> 0:24:22.440
<v Speaker 2>a it's like parenting yourself a little bit, Like yeah,

0:24:22.560 --> 0:24:24.120
<v Speaker 2>even insecurities, it's like.

0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:27.440
<v Speaker 4>Howbody, it's okay, It's okay.

0:24:27.560 --> 0:24:31.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like even if you mess up and say something dumb, like,

0:24:31.480 --> 0:24:37.000
<v Speaker 2>it's okay. Like most people aren't looking at that, and

0:24:37.080 --> 0:24:39.280
<v Speaker 2>if they are, they're not looking at it for very long,

0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:44.879
<v Speaker 2>you know, Like so you have a pimple, Okay, yep,

0:24:44.960 --> 0:24:47.639
<v Speaker 2>that sucks. I mean this we're talking about, like, you know,

0:24:47.840 --> 0:24:51.520
<v Speaker 2>our own insecurities or whatever, and like listen, like uh,

0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:55.280
<v Speaker 2>gret Jan said, acne is a big struggle. It can

0:24:55.320 --> 0:24:59.400
<v Speaker 2>be really really intense. But like in general, past insecurities,

0:24:59.440 --> 0:25:02.480
<v Speaker 2>how do you I get more better at dealing with them?

0:25:03.040 --> 0:25:07.920
<v Speaker 2>It's like what Melissa said, trying to be aware, really

0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:10.600
<v Speaker 2>trying to tune into like the awareness of like what's

0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:13.400
<v Speaker 2>this about? Why am I all? Why am I freaking out?

0:25:13.760 --> 0:25:16.320
<v Speaker 2>You know? And if I know what it's about telling

0:25:16.359 --> 0:25:19.280
<v Speaker 2>myself like you can do this, you can you can

0:25:19.320 --> 0:25:21.399
<v Speaker 2>handle this. You're not going to punch anybody in the

0:25:21.480 --> 0:25:23.359
<v Speaker 2>neck unless they mouth off.

0:25:23.560 --> 0:25:27.600
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, yeah, it's usually a moment for like right,

0:25:27.720 --> 0:25:30.920
<v Speaker 1>like a some type of affirmation like and just being

0:25:31.080 --> 0:25:35.639
<v Speaker 1>really kind to yourself and like, yeah, giving yourself space

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:36.440
<v Speaker 1>to be Like I.

0:25:36.320 --> 0:25:39.600
<v Speaker 4>Mean, we all, fuck, we all have those moments.

0:25:40.520 --> 0:25:42.400
<v Speaker 2>We've all punched somebody in the neck.

0:25:43.640 --> 0:25:45.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, have you not?

0:25:45.440 --> 0:25:48.439
<v Speaker 2>I would punch I would There's a short list of

0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:50.439
<v Speaker 2>people that I would actually punch in the neck, and

0:25:50.520 --> 0:25:54.600
<v Speaker 2>I would like, oh yeah, like I'm talking like I.

0:25:54.720 --> 0:25:57.840
<v Speaker 4>Would collapse, trickya.

0:25:57.359 --> 0:26:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Thumb out, like I'm okay with my mom if it

0:26:00.640 --> 0:26:04.400
<v Speaker 2>really gets up in there and does some damage anyway,

0:26:04.640 --> 0:26:05.880
<v Speaker 2>next question.

0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:08.480
<v Speaker 4>I gots so violent?

0:26:09.520 --> 0:26:12.919
<v Speaker 1>Hi, Sevanie, Melissa. I wanted to write to let you

0:26:13.000 --> 0:26:17.440
<v Speaker 1>know how much the Heartbreak episode helped me. Oh that

0:26:17.520 --> 0:26:21.000
<v Speaker 1>was a that was a deep one. I'm currently going

0:26:21.000 --> 0:26:23.360
<v Speaker 1>through a divorce, and even though it's the right thing

0:26:23.359 --> 0:26:26.040
<v Speaker 1>for us and our daughter, I feel I still feel

0:26:26.040 --> 0:26:28.159
<v Speaker 1>sadness at the loss of what we had, especially the

0:26:28.160 --> 0:26:31.840
<v Speaker 1>marriage being twelve years and the relationship being fourteen. We're

0:26:31.880 --> 0:26:37.280
<v Speaker 1>still friends and co parent very well and doing things together,

0:26:37.320 --> 0:26:40.119
<v Speaker 1>such as attending indiecar races with our daughter when we

0:26:40.200 --> 0:26:43.280
<v Speaker 1>did like we did when we were married. Is this true?

0:26:44.359 --> 0:26:49.399
<v Speaker 1>We are continuing these this year, starting in May, because

0:26:49.440 --> 0:26:51.080
<v Speaker 1>we want our daughter to know that we are still

0:26:51.119 --> 0:26:52.879
<v Speaker 1>a team, even if it looks different now.

0:26:53.000 --> 0:26:56.919
<v Speaker 4>Good for you. That's amazing. Even though this is probably

0:26:57.040 --> 0:26:57.720
<v Speaker 4>the best case.

0:26:57.600 --> 0:27:00.480
<v Speaker 1>Scenario for a divorce, it's still hard, especially when important

0:27:00.520 --> 0:27:02.960
<v Speaker 1>dates come up or events that we would ordinarily go

0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:06.400
<v Speaker 1>to together we now do alone. In October, I went

0:27:06.480 --> 0:27:09.240
<v Speaker 1>to a family reunion and was binging episodes on the

0:27:09.280 --> 0:27:12.160
<v Speaker 1>way there. This was the first event with my extended

0:27:12.200 --> 0:27:14.640
<v Speaker 1>family I was going to alone, and the first time

0:27:15.080 --> 0:27:17.919
<v Speaker 1>I told my family about the divorce besides my parents

0:27:17.960 --> 0:27:21.000
<v Speaker 1>and sister. I was feeling a lot of conflicting emotions

0:27:21.080 --> 0:27:24.160
<v Speaker 1>the whole weekend, and then started thinking and starting about

0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:27.080
<v Speaker 1>starting over in life. I listened to the Heartbreak episode

0:27:27.160 --> 0:27:29.800
<v Speaker 1>on my way home and started to cry because what

0:27:29.960 --> 0:27:32.359
<v Speaker 1>you were saying was exactly how I had been feeling

0:27:32.400 --> 0:27:35.399
<v Speaker 1>about my situation. You helped me realize the way I

0:27:35.520 --> 0:27:38.680
<v Speaker 1>was feeling was normal and valid. When a relationship that

0:27:38.840 --> 0:27:41.520
<v Speaker 1>was important ends, I feel seen. I just want to

0:27:41.560 --> 0:27:42.879
<v Speaker 1>thank you for helping me see that.

0:27:43.240 --> 0:27:43.440
<v Speaker 4>Ben.

0:27:43.920 --> 0:27:48.119
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Ben, I barely got through reading that

0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:49.120
<v Speaker 1>I started why.

0:27:50.119 --> 0:27:54.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm so thank you so much for writing in and

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:58.760
<v Speaker 2>like sharing that with us. That's really vulnerable and honest

0:27:58.880 --> 0:28:01.119
<v Speaker 2>and nice of you. To take the time to do that.

0:28:01.280 --> 0:28:02.960
<v Speaker 2>That's really lovely.

0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:05.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and I'm really happy for.

0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:07.679
<v Speaker 1>You and your partner that you found a path forward

0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:11.000
<v Speaker 1>that's you know, good for You're going to be so

0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:13.399
<v Speaker 1>good for your daughter, and I think good for the

0:28:13.440 --> 0:28:17.639
<v Speaker 1>both of you. But it's incredibly hard to do. And

0:28:17.800 --> 0:28:20.959
<v Speaker 1>so just like, pat yourself on the back and let

0:28:21.040 --> 0:28:22.320
<v Speaker 1>yourself feel proud about that.

0:28:22.640 --> 0:28:24.439
<v Speaker 4>That's you're being very.

0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:29.720
<v Speaker 1>Adult and mature and evolved approaching it as a team,

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:37.440
<v Speaker 1>and so braba, it looks it's us, all of it.

0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:44.800
<v Speaker 1>It's too hard, it's not. It's yeah, but we're sending

0:28:44.840 --> 0:28:57.360
<v Speaker 1>you up to love. Yeah, all right, the next one

0:28:57.360 --> 0:29:00.800
<v Speaker 1>before I start crying, Okay.

0:29:01.120 --> 0:29:03.320
<v Speaker 2>Hi, Stephanie, Melissa. I just wanted to say I'm a

0:29:03.400 --> 0:29:04.840
<v Speaker 2>huge fan of both of you, Brooklyn nine nine. It

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:06.560
<v Speaker 2>has been such a comfort and inspiration in my life.

0:29:06.560 --> 0:29:08.560
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to ask your perspective on something. I'm in

0:29:08.640 --> 0:29:10.280
<v Speaker 2>my early twenties and for a long time I've had

0:29:10.320 --> 0:29:12.239
<v Speaker 2>a specific goal in mind for my future, something I've

0:29:12.280 --> 0:29:15.200
<v Speaker 2>worked hard for and tied a lot of my identity to.

0:29:16.080 --> 0:29:18.520
<v Speaker 2>But lately, as I've grown and changed, I'm finding I

0:29:18.600 --> 0:29:21.440
<v Speaker 2>might want something different. Feels like there's this pressure to

0:29:21.520 --> 0:29:23.719
<v Speaker 2>stay committed to the path I chose years ago, as

0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:26.880
<v Speaker 2>of changing my mind means I've failed. Either of you

0:29:27.040 --> 0:29:30.240
<v Speaker 2>experienced something like that, wanting something new after chasing a

0:29:30.320 --> 0:29:32.520
<v Speaker 2>dream for so long? How do you navigate those feelings

0:29:32.600 --> 0:29:35.120
<v Speaker 2>and make peace with your shifting direction. Thanks so much

0:29:35.160 --> 0:29:37.920
<v Speaker 2>for taking the time to read this, sending love and gratitude.

0:29:38.120 --> 0:29:40.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm excited to continue to see your new projects as

0:29:40.360 --> 0:29:43.480
<v Speaker 2>they released. Thanks Vanessa, Love Vanessa, and sheered a little

0:29:43.520 --> 0:29:45.640
<v Speaker 2>emoji hearts. Love an emoji heart.

0:29:48.800 --> 0:29:56.240
<v Speaker 1>Vanessa in your early twenties, girl, not your mind. Not

0:29:56.360 --> 0:29:59.360
<v Speaker 1>to discount you, but not to discount but you.

0:29:59.440 --> 0:30:02.760
<v Speaker 2>Know, as as a quick Taale, I will say, I

0:30:02.960 --> 0:30:05.520
<v Speaker 2>never ever thought that I would be a person who

0:30:05.720 --> 0:30:08.600
<v Speaker 2>got married or had children. I was pretty dead set

0:30:08.720 --> 0:30:12.720
<v Speaker 2>on I'm you know not I'm. I could be single,

0:30:13.000 --> 0:30:15.600
<v Speaker 2>I could be partnered up, but I don't want anybody's

0:30:15.640 --> 0:30:18.200
<v Speaker 2>finances tied to my own. And I want the freedom

0:30:18.640 --> 0:30:23.479
<v Speaker 2>of a life that I choose for myself and nobody else's.

0:30:24.520 --> 0:30:28.320
<v Speaker 2>You know, nothing is, nothing is dependent on me, and

0:30:28.480 --> 0:30:33.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing whatever I want to do. And I changed

0:30:33.080 --> 0:30:35.920
<v Speaker 2>my mind. I had a goal and for my life,

0:30:36.120 --> 0:30:38.880
<v Speaker 2>and I I tied a lot of my identity to

0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:42.760
<v Speaker 2>being like I'm gonna not have kids and and and

0:30:42.920 --> 0:30:46.520
<v Speaker 2>that's fine like for some people. But I changed my mind,

0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:51.520
<v Speaker 2>and I changed it pretty late, and I was really

0:30:51.560 --> 0:30:54.040
<v Speaker 2>scared about like how it was going to affect my career,

0:30:54.080 --> 0:30:55.720
<v Speaker 2>how it was going to affect my relationship, how's going

0:30:55.720 --> 0:30:58.000
<v Speaker 2>to affect my friendships, how was gonna affect my body,

0:31:00.320 --> 0:31:02.840
<v Speaker 2>I was going to affect my brain, and how I

0:31:03.080 --> 0:31:07.280
<v Speaker 2>was going to affect the person the new person. But

0:31:07.800 --> 0:31:10.200
<v Speaker 2>I would say go for it, like I mean, if

0:31:10.240 --> 0:31:14.600
<v Speaker 2>you really are feeling that strongly about it, Like what

0:31:14.720 --> 0:31:18.200
<v Speaker 2>does Mary Oliver say? This is your one beautiful life.

0:31:18.240 --> 0:31:20.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna look up the quote you talk melissa'm'na look

0:31:20.160 --> 0:31:20.600
<v Speaker 2>up this quote.

0:31:20.920 --> 0:31:21.120
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:31:21.320 --> 0:31:24.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean I think any age, any stage in life,

0:31:25.320 --> 0:31:30.960
<v Speaker 1>if we feel that pull towards something. And I understand

0:31:31.000 --> 0:31:33.480
<v Speaker 1>the like identity part because this is not the same.

0:31:33.640 --> 0:31:37.080
<v Speaker 1>But I in my early twenties, I was like, I

0:31:37.200 --> 0:31:40.200
<v Speaker 1>am a New Yorker. I will never leave New York.

0:31:40.600 --> 0:31:44.440
<v Speaker 1>New York is my identity. New York, New Jersey is

0:31:44.520 --> 0:31:46.400
<v Speaker 1>my identity. This is where I grew up, This is

0:31:46.400 --> 0:31:48.080
<v Speaker 1>where I belong, This is where I'll be till the

0:31:48.160 --> 0:31:48.800
<v Speaker 1>end of my days.

0:31:49.440 --> 0:31:53.120
<v Speaker 4>And I had a whole I was like, I'm I'm

0:31:53.160 --> 0:31:56.160
<v Speaker 4>going to work in theater. I'm going to teach at

0:31:56.240 --> 0:31:59.040
<v Speaker 4>some point. Maybe I'm going to like teach it at college.

0:31:59.160 --> 0:32:01.440
<v Speaker 4>Like I had a whole idea of myself.

0:32:01.680 --> 0:32:04.120
<v Speaker 1>I was like, every time I saw those little older

0:32:04.160 --> 0:32:06.640
<v Speaker 1>biddies at the theater, I was like, that's going to

0:32:06.720 --> 0:32:11.760
<v Speaker 1>be me, with my giant jewelry and my flowy shirts

0:32:12.320 --> 0:32:16.040
<v Speaker 1>and my comfortable shoes, still getting to a thousand steps

0:32:16.080 --> 0:32:16.400
<v Speaker 1>a day.

0:32:16.800 --> 0:32:17.520
<v Speaker 4>This is going to be me.

0:32:18.160 --> 0:32:21.320
<v Speaker 1>And then we up and moved and then I started

0:32:21.360 --> 0:32:25.400
<v Speaker 1>working in television, which was took me away from theater

0:32:26.320 --> 0:32:28.080
<v Speaker 1>and it couldn't get theater auditions anymore.

0:32:28.800 --> 0:32:33.480
<v Speaker 4>And then we moved to LA and I kind of

0:32:33.520 --> 0:32:37.120
<v Speaker 4>went kicking and screaming. But then.

0:32:38.640 --> 0:32:42.320
<v Speaker 1>Like all these amazing things happened and this like whole

0:32:42.400 --> 0:32:45.600
<v Speaker 1>new chapter of my life started And my kids are

0:32:45.760 --> 0:32:49.440
<v Speaker 1>Angela little Angelino's and I love my life like and

0:32:49.600 --> 0:32:55.080
<v Speaker 1>I love La and like especially recently seeing the city

0:32:55.200 --> 0:32:56.400
<v Speaker 1>kind of stand up and.

0:32:58.600 --> 0:33:00.800
<v Speaker 4>I've been so proud of it. And so.

0:33:03.400 --> 0:33:07.240
<v Speaker 1>Even though I still feel like such an East Coast

0:33:07.320 --> 0:33:09.560
<v Speaker 1>girl in a lot of ways and not like you know,

0:33:09.880 --> 0:33:14.080
<v Speaker 1>a real like la person like I love. What I'm

0:33:14.080 --> 0:33:17.040
<v Speaker 1>trying to say is like, eventually, if if you stay

0:33:17.160 --> 0:33:21.400
<v Speaker 1>open and if you move with change, only good can

0:33:21.480 --> 0:33:24.840
<v Speaker 1>come of it. If you stay stuck, especially if you

0:33:25.000 --> 0:33:28.840
<v Speaker 1>feel pulled towards something else. Yeah, because out of obligation

0:33:29.200 --> 0:33:31.120
<v Speaker 1>or because this is who I am, or this is

0:33:31.160 --> 0:33:34.400
<v Speaker 1>how people know me, because I have to achieve.

0:33:34.520 --> 0:33:35.280
<v Speaker 2>I have to achieve.

0:33:35.360 --> 0:33:36.720
<v Speaker 4>I have to achieve. Who cares.

0:33:36.960 --> 0:33:40.040
<v Speaker 1>It's like the equivalent of just like walking down a

0:33:40.080 --> 0:33:42.240
<v Speaker 1>hallway and just like shutting all the other doors and

0:33:42.320 --> 0:33:45.600
<v Speaker 1>windows and just like continually walk to like this one

0:33:45.680 --> 0:33:47.760
<v Speaker 1>door even though you have no idea what's behind that door,

0:33:48.200 --> 0:33:50.200
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, as opposed to like just

0:33:51.040 --> 0:33:53.640
<v Speaker 1>opening all the doors and seeing what's behind them. And

0:33:54.120 --> 0:33:57.080
<v Speaker 1>so you're just I think, shutting off opportunity. You're you're

0:33:57.120 --> 0:34:00.920
<v Speaker 1>shutting off surprises, You're shutting off and you know, And

0:34:01.000 --> 0:34:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I only brought up the age thing because it's like

0:34:04.120 --> 0:34:06.520
<v Speaker 1>this is the time to like try shit out, try

0:34:06.600 --> 0:34:09.520
<v Speaker 1>it out. This thing that's like calling you try it out.

0:34:10.480 --> 0:34:13.840
<v Speaker 1>If it doesn't work out, you can change your mind again.

0:34:14.000 --> 0:34:16.759
<v Speaker 1>You can change your mind a million times. You can

0:34:16.880 --> 0:34:19.239
<v Speaker 1>keep changing your mind. I still change my mind.

0:34:19.800 --> 0:34:26.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I mean at this point when I'm, you know,

0:34:26.560 --> 0:34:29.400
<v Speaker 2>in my eighties, I do believe I will be getting

0:34:29.480 --> 0:34:32.320
<v Speaker 2>botox in my forehead. But I could change my mind

0:34:32.760 --> 0:34:35.080
<v Speaker 2>there in the retirement home. I might be like, no,

0:34:35.239 --> 0:34:35.799
<v Speaker 2>I don't care.

0:34:38.160 --> 0:34:39.120
<v Speaker 4>I okay.

0:34:39.280 --> 0:34:40.920
<v Speaker 2>So that quote that I was going to say. The

0:34:41.120 --> 0:34:43.600
<v Speaker 2>poem is from the Summer Day by Mary Oliver. Have

0:34:43.680 --> 0:34:46.960
<v Speaker 2>you ever read it, Melsa, No, you've probably heard the

0:34:47.040 --> 0:34:47.920
<v Speaker 2>end of it. It's pretty sure.

0:34:48.560 --> 0:34:49.600
<v Speaker 4>Okay, who made who?

0:34:50.200 --> 0:34:52.400
<v Speaker 2>This is not a poem reading this is not a

0:34:52.440 --> 0:34:54.680
<v Speaker 2>poetry slam. I'm going to go through this. I'm not

0:34:54.800 --> 0:34:56.480
<v Speaker 2>going to act at you, guys. I'm just going to

0:34:56.520 --> 0:35:01.160
<v Speaker 2>say the words boom, who made the world, Who made

0:35:01.200 --> 0:35:03.759
<v Speaker 2>the swan and the black bear? Who made the grasshopper?

0:35:04.360 --> 0:35:06.920
<v Speaker 2>This grasshopper, I mean, the one who's flung herself out

0:35:06.960 --> 0:35:09.080
<v Speaker 2>of the grass, the one who is eating sugar out

0:35:09.120 --> 0:35:11.480
<v Speaker 2>of my hand, who's moving her jaws back and forth

0:35:11.560 --> 0:35:13.960
<v Speaker 2>instead of up and down, who is gazing around with

0:35:14.040 --> 0:35:17.120
<v Speaker 2>her enormous and complicated eyes. Now she lifts her pale

0:35:17.200 --> 0:35:20.480
<v Speaker 2>forearms and thoroughly washes her face. Now she snaps her

0:35:20.480 --> 0:35:23.360
<v Speaker 2>wings open and floats away. I don't know exactly what

0:35:23.440 --> 0:35:25.880
<v Speaker 2>a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention,

0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:28.640
<v Speaker 2>how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel

0:35:28.680 --> 0:35:31.240
<v Speaker 2>down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed,

0:35:31.440 --> 0:35:33.680
<v Speaker 2>how to stroll through the fields, which is what I've

0:35:33.680 --> 0:35:36.320
<v Speaker 2>been doing all day. Tell me what else should I

0:35:36.400 --> 0:35:39.560
<v Speaker 2>have done? Doesn't everything die at last and too soon?

0:35:40.120 --> 0:35:42.360
<v Speaker 2>Tell me what is it you plan to do with

0:35:42.480 --> 0:35:44.200
<v Speaker 2>your one wild and precious life.

0:35:46.920 --> 0:35:47.200
<v Speaker 4>Great?

0:35:47.440 --> 0:35:52.280
<v Speaker 2>I love that you don't have to like run towards

0:35:52.280 --> 0:35:55.560
<v Speaker 2>this thing of those gold this thing whatever. She's just like,

0:35:55.920 --> 0:35:58.440
<v Speaker 2>bro Like, I joke about it all the time, and

0:35:58.719 --> 0:36:01.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm always like, we're all to die someday. And that

0:36:02.040 --> 0:36:04.640
<v Speaker 2>is my very like nihilistic sort of like. But it's

0:36:04.760 --> 0:36:07.160
<v Speaker 2>not because this is it.

0:36:07.920 --> 0:36:09.640
<v Speaker 5>This is the this is it.

0:36:10.239 --> 0:36:14.040
<v Speaker 2>You know, if you're doing something that you're like, oh, no,

0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:17.560
<v Speaker 2>I was gonna be a whatever. I've been watching a

0:36:17.600 --> 0:36:19.960
<v Speaker 2>lot of sex in the city, so I'm like pr

0:36:20.160 --> 0:36:24.520
<v Speaker 2>Samantha Jones. PR been working to be a pr mamen

0:36:24.600 --> 0:36:27.360
<v Speaker 2>your whole life, and now suddenly you want to be

0:36:27.480 --> 0:36:32.080
<v Speaker 2>a gardener. Okay, obviously there's logistic, but go be a gardener,

0:36:32.360 --> 0:36:33.960
<v Speaker 2>even if you have to do it, like in your

0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:37.040
<v Speaker 2>hobby time like coke, do whatever you want.

0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:41.560
<v Speaker 4>It's life is too short, life is too unpredictable. Life

0:36:41.640 --> 0:36:44.400
<v Speaker 4>is too precious. Yes, if you have a calling, if

0:36:44.440 --> 0:36:48.120
<v Speaker 4>you have something you want to do or explore, fucking

0:36:48.239 --> 0:36:48.440
<v Speaker 4>do it.

0:36:48.760 --> 0:36:50.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna do it. This is gossip, but do you

0:36:50.960 --> 0:36:52.560
<v Speaker 2>want to hear so it's related?

0:36:53.440 --> 0:36:58.279
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's okay, so so excited, you.

0:36:58.320 --> 0:37:03.359
<v Speaker 2>Know, like you know, oh, okay, I'm trying to figure

0:37:03.400 --> 0:37:04.680
<v Speaker 2>out how to say this in a way where like

0:37:04.760 --> 0:37:06.200
<v Speaker 2>no one will find out who I'm talking about.

0:37:09.120 --> 0:37:09.720
<v Speaker 4>But okay.

0:37:11.920 --> 0:37:17.239
<v Speaker 2>There was a very high profile couple that had a

0:37:17.520 --> 0:37:20.960
<v Speaker 2>very large wedding and professed a lot of their It's

0:37:21.960 --> 0:37:26.440
<v Speaker 2>like it's like it was like such a big show

0:37:26.760 --> 0:37:30.080
<v Speaker 2>of like we love each other so much, we love

0:37:30.120 --> 0:37:31.880
<v Speaker 2>each other, we love each other, we love each other,

0:37:32.040 --> 0:37:35.080
<v Speaker 2>we love each other. And then they met a divorce

0:37:35.680 --> 0:37:38.520
<v Speaker 2>and like part of me thinks, like was there a

0:37:38.600 --> 0:37:42.000
<v Speaker 2>point where they were like part of me knows that

0:37:42.120 --> 0:37:45.480
<v Speaker 2>there was a point where like this is actually like

0:37:45.920 --> 0:37:47.520
<v Speaker 2>now I'm going to relate it to somebody I know

0:37:47.719 --> 0:37:50.239
<v Speaker 2>who said to me, he's like an old friend and

0:37:50.320 --> 0:37:53.239
<v Speaker 2>he was like when she was walking down the aisle

0:37:53.440 --> 0:37:57.080
<v Speaker 2>like not but his wife or his ex wife X

0:37:57.560 --> 0:37:59.600
<v Speaker 2>when she was walking down the aisle, he was like,

0:37:59.680 --> 0:38:03.799
<v Speaker 2>oh shit, this is a mistake. And he went through

0:38:03.960 --> 0:38:06.200
<v Speaker 2>with it, and like I guess, like I get it

0:38:06.320 --> 0:38:07.719
<v Speaker 2>into like you know.

0:38:08.160 --> 0:38:11.560
<v Speaker 1>Very getting like on the day when there's like like

0:38:12.200 --> 0:38:13.480
<v Speaker 1>ribes vibes.

0:38:13.520 --> 0:38:15.200
<v Speaker 2>Did you not know it beforehand?

0:38:15.520 --> 0:38:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Like you did?

0:38:17.239 --> 0:38:19.839
<v Speaker 2>You probably did maybe like hit really hard that day

0:38:19.960 --> 0:38:20.320
<v Speaker 2>or something.

0:38:21.000 --> 0:38:23.759
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but like I just know it and all the

0:38:23.880 --> 0:38:25.640
<v Speaker 4>mornings before when we woke.

0:38:25.560 --> 0:38:28.880
<v Speaker 2>Up, we're gonna do stay married to that person like forever,

0:38:29.440 --> 0:38:31.040
<v Speaker 2>like we're gonna do like this.

0:38:33.920 --> 0:38:34.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:38:34.440 --> 0:38:37.640
<v Speaker 2>Anyway is says good luck, good luck on that edit.

0:38:38.680 --> 0:38:45.320
<v Speaker 2>You could just sleep it all in. It's fine, more better, Okay,

0:38:45.600 --> 0:38:50.200
<v Speaker 2>what did we learned today, Melissa? Besides my inside gossip

0:38:50.280 --> 0:38:52.240
<v Speaker 2>about what did we learn today? Melissa?

0:38:53.200 --> 0:38:56.640
<v Speaker 4>Uh, well, we learned.

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:02.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm never going to get cast in one of our movies.

0:39:02.560 --> 0:39:03.040
<v Speaker 2>It's fine.

0:39:03.719 --> 0:39:04.439
<v Speaker 4>What did we learn?

0:39:04.600 --> 0:39:07.640
<v Speaker 1>We learned? We learned that we have awesome, amazing fans

0:39:07.680 --> 0:39:11.200
<v Speaker 1>to write very lovely voice notes and emails to us

0:39:11.360 --> 0:39:15.799
<v Speaker 1>and very sweet and selfishly personally, my ego needed all

0:39:15.840 --> 0:39:18.759
<v Speaker 1>those compliments today, So thank you, thank you so much,

0:39:19.120 --> 0:39:19.440
<v Speaker 1>thank you.

0:39:22.480 --> 0:39:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I like these.

0:39:24.520 --> 0:39:28.960
<v Speaker 1>I like these mail bag little episodes. I think we're

0:39:28.960 --> 0:39:31.120
<v Speaker 1>going to do more of them this season. That's what

0:39:31.239 --> 0:39:33.520
<v Speaker 1>I We're to do more of these this season because

0:39:33.520 --> 0:39:34.120
<v Speaker 1>they're fun.

0:39:34.360 --> 0:39:37.279
<v Speaker 2>They're fun, they're really fun, and like they let us

0:39:37.400 --> 0:39:39.600
<v Speaker 2>know what you guys are like really connecting to and

0:39:39.680 --> 0:39:43.880
<v Speaker 2>also what you're interested in. Yeah, and they just make

0:39:44.000 --> 0:39:47.200
<v Speaker 2>us feel like we're getting to know you guys. Yes,

0:39:47.520 --> 0:39:52.160
<v Speaker 2>that's nice, So keith those coming. Also, please send us

0:39:52.200 --> 0:39:53.520
<v Speaker 2>a voice note, send us.

0:39:53.400 --> 0:39:55.799
<v Speaker 1>An email, because we're going to do more of these

0:39:56.120 --> 0:39:59.640
<v Speaker 1>episodes where we go through a bunch of messages as

0:39:59.680 --> 0:40:02.680
<v Speaker 1>many as we can and send us topic.

0:40:02.840 --> 0:40:05.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe, Rate

0:40:05.800 --> 0:40:06.600
<v Speaker 2>review and subscribe.

0:40:06.640 --> 0:40:08.480
<v Speaker 1>It really helps us rate review and subscribe.

0:40:09.320 --> 0:40:10.680
<v Speaker 2>MELSA, Do you feel a little more better?

0:40:11.239 --> 0:40:13.520
<v Speaker 4>I always feel more and better? Do you feel more better?

0:40:14.320 --> 0:40:16.799
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I need a snack, but other than

0:40:16.880 --> 0:40:21.680
<v Speaker 2>though I need too Pretty great? Yeah, great, I'll say

0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:23.000
<v Speaker 2>next next time, see.

0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:23.359
<v Speaker 4>You next time.

0:40:23.440 --> 0:40:26.279
<v Speaker 1>Bye, bye, more and more better.

0:40:26.640 --> 0:40:28.520
<v Speaker 2>Do you have something you'd like to be more better

0:40:28.600 --> 0:40:29.880
<v Speaker 2>at that you want us to talk about in a

0:40:29.920 --> 0:40:32.560
<v Speaker 2>future episode? Can you relate to our struggles or have

0:40:32.760 --> 0:40:34.920
<v Speaker 2>you tried one of our tips and tricks. Shoot us

0:40:34.920 --> 0:40:38.080
<v Speaker 2>your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at gmail dot

0:40:38.160 --> 0:40:40.600
<v Speaker 2>com and include a voice note if you want to

0:40:40.600 --> 0:40:43.600
<v Speaker 2>be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better with Stephanie

0:40:43.640 --> 0:40:47.600
<v Speaker 2>Melissa is a production from WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikudura

0:40:47.719 --> 0:40:51.520
<v Speaker 2>podcast network, hosted by Me, Steffie Beatrice, and Melissa Fumero.

0:40:51.680 --> 0:40:55.160
<v Speaker 2>More Better is produced by ISIS Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zagos.

0:40:55.880 --> 0:41:00.000
<v Speaker 2>Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Fumero alone

0:41:00.160 --> 0:41:03.160
<v Speaker 2>with Wilmar Valderrama and Leo Clem at w V Sound

0:41:03.360 --> 0:41:06.600
<v Speaker 2>and ISIS Madrid. This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid

0:41:06.719 --> 0:41:09.839
<v Speaker 2>and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music by

0:41:09.960 --> 0:41:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Madison Davenport and Hello Boy. Our cover art is by

0:41:12.719 --> 0:41:16.400
<v Speaker 2>Vincent Remis and photography by David Abolos. For more podcasts

0:41:16.400 --> 0:41:20.000
<v Speaker 2>from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

0:41:20.080 --> 0:41:22.600
<v Speaker 2>you listen to your favorite shows. See you next week's

0:41:22.600 --> 0:41:24.000
<v Speaker 2>buck Us. Bye