WEBVTT - Double the Trouble 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.320 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:16.720 the Black Effect, and just like that, be back on 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:19.400 the air. Welcome back to yet another Canfully Reckless episode 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:19.840 with your Girl. 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:20.680 Just hilarious. 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:22.639 So I'm fixing mess. Fixing mess is what I do. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:24.480 I also do it on the Breakfast Club as. 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:27.560 Well on B E T. Nine Am. 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.040 Make sure y'all catch that whenever I'm there, which is 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:32.159 more than likely almost all the time. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:33.640 All Right, we're gonna jump straight in. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.560 I'm gonna tell some stories that I got from fixing 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:41.280 people's mess on Breakfast Club, one that I actually was 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:42.200 pissed off about. 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:44.400 And it's rather quick, so I'm just gonna jump straight 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:44.760 in with that. 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:49.800 So this woman calls up Ray and she has a boyfriend, okay, 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:52.040 but she's upset because he's married. 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:57.480 I'm pissed off about it. My boyfriend is married, star duh. 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:00.000 And I know I had to do my own sound effect, 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.680 but duh, someone what should I do? 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:03.959 So this is the thing. 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:06.960 She met her man in jail. Right, of course, he 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:08.560 sold her dreams of what they were going to be 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:08.959 when he. 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:11.080 Got out of jail. When he got out of jail, 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:12.959 he went to get engaged. 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:17.000 To someone else, right, And not only did he get engaged, 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:21.160 he actually jumped that broom. He got married and then 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.080 went to go find the girlfriend. Right. So when she 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:29.679 found out about the wife, she didn't leave. She tells 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.280 me she mad at the wife for not holding her 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:37.759 man down. How you not mad at your boyfriend because 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:41.800 he's somebody else's husband, but she mad at his wife 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.119 for not holding her husband down? 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.400 Who just happens to be your boyfriend? 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:49.520 And then another fucked up thing about it is, you're 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:50.840 mad at this man's wife. 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:53.760 But he got married when he came home, he wasn't 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.279 already married. So you were never first. 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:59.240 You were always second and was always gonna be second, 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.320 and asking me what you should do. What you should 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:05.840 do is get some fucking dignity, wake up and go 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:10.079 find you your own fucking man. Because he's not yours, 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:13.120 he will never be yours. You've already allowed too much. 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:16.440 You think a man actually wants to be with someone 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:21.200 who was okay with them cheating on their wives, or 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:24.280 was okay with being second anyway, you think you'll ever 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.839 deserve in his eyes to be number one. These men 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:30.840 only do to us what we allow mentally, you know 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:33.440 what I'm saying. And then some women are not as 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:37.760 strong minded as others. But I just couldn't understand like 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:41.960 she had some nerve she was upset. Oh, she wouldn't 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:44.560 hold him down, And I just felt like that's crazy, 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:47.040 Like how could you not hold him down because he 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:48.560 wasn't married to a yet? 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:51.480 Right? You was holding him down? Did you get a ring? 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:55.080 You have to realize who you are, what you are, 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:57.399 what you want, what you're gonna take, what you ain't 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:01.600 gonna take, and realize the consequences of your actions are 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:04.360 because of what you allowed or what you did. So 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:06.399 the consequences is you always gonna be the side bitch. 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:08.840 I'm sorry, that's what it is. Get back to me 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:10.640 if you can. I know she's gonna be calling up 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:12.680 after she had a shit like I ain't tell you 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:16.160 going there and say, Audi, well you made yourself look 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:19.440 dumber on a huger platform, a bigger player. She said, 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:23.000 it's on be et, crazy ass. But I hope she 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.920 gets the help that she needs because lord, she's delusional. 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:30.720 All right, moving on, We got a voice note y'all, 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:31.960 y'all know how I feel about these. 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:33.360 There we go, Hi, JA. 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:36.920 So before, sir, I'm just gonna give you a little 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:40.680 background about myself before I ask you the original question 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:43.920 that I have for you. So, I am twenty one 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:48.360 years old, born and raised in Minnesota. I'm currently worked 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:51.400 at three jobs. Also want to goo for nail technician. 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:54.840 I have no kids, I am single. I have my 0:03:54.920 --> 0:03:59.520 own car and apartment that I share with my sister. Okay, 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.280 the question I have to ask you is, I don't 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.920 know if anybody else is having this problem, but from 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:10.640 my early twenties, I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:13.480 I feel like I truly can't find myself. I don't 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:15.600 know what direction I want to go in. I'm trying 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:18.080 to find love, I'm trying to lose weight, I'm trying 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:19.120 to achieve goals. 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:20.440 I just feel like I'm. 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:23.360 Everywhere right now, and it's to the point where it's 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:27.240 giving me overwhelmed and depressed and drained and feeling like 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:29.320 I'm behind in a way. 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:30.279 Wow. 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:33.520 Like, for example, when I was in school, I was 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:36.880 way smaller than what I am now, so I've gained. 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:37.800 A little bit more weight. 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.440 So I just been feeling like, you know, I just 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:43.320 don't look as prettier as everybody else. And of course 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.560 I feel like social media for me, it takes a 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:48.880 part of that. So I have took a break from 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:53.320 that to help a little bit. Another example is with love. 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:55.040 I'm such a freaking. 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:57.320 Lover girl, like I love love, but. 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:00.200 The relationship is just not going well for me, the 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:03.760 dating error, all that stuff like, it's just not going 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:05.479 well for me. Even if I want, like a little 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:09.880 sneakily like it never works out. And then with my schooling, 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:12.599 I've been in school for a two years trying to 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:14.919 get my nail license because I'm just like stick. Dis 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.440 harder for me to pass the quizzes and it's been 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:21.000 taking me longer. But everybody else is an entrepreneur at 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:23.120 my age, so I just feel like I'm just way 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:24.600 behind all the things I need to do. 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:26.920 So just give me some clarity to help me. J 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:28.200 Just thanks love. 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.719 You, heyy. First of all, I love you too. 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.039 Thank you for being vulnerable enough to open up to 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:34.920 me about that, because you know what you do. You 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:39.320 open up the floor for other younger females, younger women 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:43.280 to feel like they're not alone in this, you know, 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:47.080 because y'all generation are going through some shit too. Of course, 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:49.560 a lot of identity crisis going on. Of course, when 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.640 you have media constantly shoving in your face, you can 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:56.800 change who you are. You can change any part of 0:05:56.839 --> 0:06:01.080 your body now and everybody has access to these surgeons 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:04.040 and just you know, all types of things that can 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:07.720 help you rid of your flaws. You know, But I 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:12.919 think it's internal for you. You did say exactly what 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:15.039 I was going to tell you. Social media will play 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:19.719 a big part in this and how the media constantly 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.520 tries to manipulate our minds with just certain standards that 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.240 we're supposed to follow, like you know. And then influencers 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:28.800 that I thank God for them because I started off 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.720 as one, but I say their work would be a 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:34.800 gift in accurse because they open up your eyes to 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.600 seeing I can own my own business, I can own something, 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:40.920 I can be a young black creator. 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:43.360 I don't have to work for nobody for the rest 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:44.000 of my life. 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:46.520 I am in a position where I can run my 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:49.040 own business. At the same time, what it does is 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:53.920 it shows another side where it makes working a nine 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:57.359 to five or being who you really are off. 0:06:57.200 --> 0:06:58.839 Of social media, it looks uncool. 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:02.679 It makes you uncool, makes you feel that you're not enough, 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:07.120 and I really don't agree with anybody having to feel 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:11.040 that way. Oh man, I'm very conflicted about your situation 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:13.120 just because I don't want you to ever feel like 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:14.320 because you are. 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:15.600 You know, you consider yourself a. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.480 Little overweight or a lot overweight, whatever, you know, whether 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.880 you're obese, fat, you know, it's levels to it. But 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:23.840 however you feel about it, you still shouldn't let that 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:27.560 depict how you go on in your love life. And 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:29.880 then also listening you're twenty one, you're still trying to 0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:33.000 figure out you. I wouldn't be asking for love right now. 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:34.960 I'm not gonna say you don't know what love is. 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:35.960 I would never say that. 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:38.240 I wouldn't even say that to an eighteen year old 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.320 because what love is to you maybe different for what 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:44.160 love is to me. Love has no one fucking meaning, 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:47.440 you know what I mean, So it goes by experience 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:50.440 of what you feel. But I will say, you have 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:52.840 a lot going on, so you can't focus on one thing. 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:55.200 You know what I'm saying, You can't focus on love 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:58.080 right now because you also told me in the same 0:07:58.120 --> 0:07:59.720 breath you're trying to figure out. 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:00.000 Who you are. 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:02.720 There's no way that you could be ready for a 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:05.480 relationship and you don't know who you are. So what 0:08:05.600 --> 0:08:07.880 I think is that you love the idea of love. 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.480 You know, you love what it looks like. You know, 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.560 you love what it can be. You love all the possibilities. 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:18.440 You love what you see visually, what looks good visually 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:20.720 to you, and then you probably see a lot of 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:24.560 relationship goals too, you know what I'm saying. And that's good. 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.520 You took a break from social media. I actually have 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:28.200 family members that have. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:28.720 To do that. 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:31.440 I have friends that have to do that. I know 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:33.600 other influencers that have to do that. 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:34.319 I do that. 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:37.120 We need breaks, you know, because you could kind of 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:40.640 like feel like Instagram is the world and it's not, 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:45.000 and you're constantly reminded when you exit out the ad. Damn, 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:48.520 that's just one part. That's social media, you know what 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.280 I mean. It takes over our lives and it plays 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:53.880 a big part in our confidence, you know. So I 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.080 think you should do a lot more soul searching. You 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.520 probably will not be in a relationship until you hit thirty. 0:08:58.520 --> 0:08:59.960 That don't need to scare you, that just needs some 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:02.880 motivate you, you know, stay on your path and figure 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:04.160 out what you're doing with your life. 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:06.080 Girl, You ain't got no kids. 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:07.679 You work three jobs and you're going to school to 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:10.280 be a fucking nail tech and you fucking worried about 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:10.800 some lift. 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:14.160 You got three jobs? Girl, how the fuck you gonna. 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:15.160 Spend time with? Girl? 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:18.520 Listen, A man is a job too. A boyfriend is 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:20.800 a job, just like we jobs too, you know what 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:24.400 I'm saying. So that's four jobs. Thank god. You ain't 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.320 got no damn kids. But you know what men do. 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:27.960 They give you kids. 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.920 So your little twenty one year old, but need to 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.160 stay on this arrow that you're on, Stay on this 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:33.960 path that you're on. 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:36.320 Don't worry so much about it. And I'm looking at 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:38.760 your picture. You are beautiful, all right. It is only 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:40.600 from your head to the top of your. 0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:44.040 Get chests, but you're beautiful. You're beautiful, probably inside and out. 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:45.360 I don't know you. I haven't met you, but you 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:48.640 sound really concerned about nobody loving you. Girl. 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:49.079 Fuck that. 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:50.600 You gotta love. 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:53.600 Yourself because when you learn how to love yourself, and 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.720 I mean the railway because people hear this all the time. 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:58.360 Oh you gotta love yourself up. People say this to 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.199 people all the time, and they take it the wrong way. 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:02.360 You gotta love yourself. You gotta love yourself, or I 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:05.520 do love myself. Like nah, people get more defensive after 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:08.160 hearing that than just actually listening. No, do you really 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:10.880 know what it takes to love yourself, because that's probably 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:13.200 why your relationships fail. You said, you're even just a 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:16.679 sneaky link. I'm no, you know, even if you want 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.880 some dick, just sometimes sometimes maybe that's not what you need. 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:23.080 Maybe shit fails for a reason. Start looking at it differently. 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.880 That's not in your timing right now, you know what 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:28.000 I'm saying. So yeah, like I said, just do some 0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:30.160 more searching for who you are. You know, you're at 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.760 the best time right now. And then you also at 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:34.439 the best time to lose some more weight if that's 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:35.959 what you want to do. Shit, if you want to 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:38.240 lose more weight, go do that. If you feel like 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.840 that's why you ain't getting no no men, lose some 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:45.280 more and then see, and I guarantee you you'll find 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.880 it wasn't even your weak It probably is your mind. 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.520 It probably is the fact that you, like I said, 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:53.440 you don't even know what you want out of a relationship. 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:56.160 You love the idea of love but I do hope 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:59.000 everything works out for you and you do get everything 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:00.360 that you want in life. 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.040 Make sure you follow up and update me, keep me posted. 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:03.720 Thank you. 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.240 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:08.480 then we'll be right back. 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:10.640 Moving on. 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.040 Last story. Oh my god, I got all the babies today. 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:16.600 Hey Joss, I'm nineteen and I'm talking to this guy 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:19.440 and I have intimacy issues. It's hard for me to 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.600 open up. I've never been in a relationship before, so 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:25.560 this part of intimacy is new and hard. It's hard 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.080 to talk about my feelings. I had a lot of trauma, 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.560 so I don't want it to change our dynamic. The 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.760 guy is amazing. I don't want him to think he 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:35.280 is a problem. My question is do you think I'm 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.520 ready for a relationship or should I just continue to 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:40.640 explore being alone for a bit longer. By the way, 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.120 you can use this for the podcast in case you 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.120 want consent. Oh that's nice, Thank you. I was gonna 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:46.720 use it anyway. 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:46.920 Girl. 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:49.600 I don't know your name, so that's good, and can't 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:52.200 bite see your face, But no, I appreciate you for 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:55.880 reaching out and I'm happy that A lot of a 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:59.600 lot more younger people are reaching out because this younger 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.760 generation and they are facing a lot, you know, and 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:05.719 they're seeing a lot, and they are much more exposed 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.200 to a lot of shit too than we ever were 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:10.600 that I that I ever was at nineteen, you know, 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:14.240 so they could really be the main ones that need 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:15.680 some mental tending to. 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:16.240 You know. 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:18.440 It's a lot, a lot of shit that these babies 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:18.880 are seeing. 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:21.080 But yeah, to get into what you have going on, 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:24.320 you've never been in a relationship before, so you don't 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:26.120 really know what it takes. 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:27.920 I understand. You got to think about it, though. 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:31.000 Every person on this earth has been in that situation. 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:35.000 Everybody ain't born with boyfriends. Everybody has to have has 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:36.520 to jump in it some type of way. 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:36.840 You know. 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.800 Every guy ain't born with no girlfriend. You know, everybody 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.720 has to jump into us some type of way. You 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.520 don't like talking about your feelings. You feel like that 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.800 will hinder you from a healthy relationship. I think you 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:47.880 need to dig deeper and figure out where that comes from. 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.600 You know, doesn't have anything to do with your upbringing 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.880 with people that you grew up with. You constantly seeing 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:56.880 things because I know you said you had trauma, you know, 0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.319 but you didn't go into depth about the. 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:00.319 Trauma, and that's okay. 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.280 I'm glad that you even you know, we don't have 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.319 to so obviously you know, I just don't know what 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.079 the trauma is from. It could it could be something 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.720 more recent, it could be deeply rooted, but that's probably, 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:13.800 you know, more than likely where it comes from. And 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:16.400 I understand you said, this guy is amazing, he's understanding. 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:18.600 You don't want him to think he's the problem. 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:19.680 No, you don't. 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:23.280 You don't because then in restrospect, that's not fair to him. 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.000 But no, I don't think that you're ready for a relationship. 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:28.319 I think you should start some counseling, or you should 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.000 start some therapy. It's nothing wrong with it. You see 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:33.880 that you do have issues that you want to move past. 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.319 You do see that, and that's good that you see that. 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:40.000 A lot of people's fear of therapy is because they 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.360 don't want to open up. They don't even want to 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.240 go talk to somebody. But this first step for you 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.240 to come in to me, I think that's amazing. I 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.160 do think that you should seek further therapy. Because I'm 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:54.800 not a licensed professional, I can only give you good advice. 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.520 Figure yourself out. Then you also still nineteen. I'm gonna 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:58.840 tell you like I told her the last baby, girl, 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.439 you're nineteen, two more years til you hit twenty one, 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:03.760 but in my eyes, you're still a baby. I got 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:06.200 a little sister that's nineteen, you know, and I just 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:10.000 watching her navigate through her social life. You know, it's 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:13.160 way different than mine was. You know, when I was nineteen, 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:16.120 we weren't doing something. The first of all, y'all even 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.480 look already, and y'all need to look nineteen. Now, y'all 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:24.400 starting to look like y'all already got bbls and shit. 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:24.920 You know what I mean. 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.360 And y'all bodies just all just full figure like that, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.760 y'all developing more, y'all just exposed to everything. 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:34.320 I don't know. So I do think that you just 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:36.760 need to explore just being alone for a bit longer. 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.080 And you already knew that. You just needed to clarity, 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:40.880 and I'm here to give it to you, girls, So 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:43.960 keep me updated, let me know what's going on. Yeah, 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.920 don't mess that man up. Girls, that's one good one obviously. 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:49.680 Don't mess them up. Just fix yourself and go back 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.160 and get them. Hold up, Hold up, I know the 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.680 shit getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.840 of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. So 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:00.120 this last mess, I'm an fix this in person and 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:03.120 somebody actually came into the studio and you know this 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.680 is I'm trying this out because in fourth season, I 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:09.600 may bring this to video. You know, I know we 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:13.240 have canfulte reckless audio, but for those who want to see, 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:16.120 I may just do it. I don't know. I'm raising 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:20.000 right now. It's gonna be my first in person mass effix, 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:20.600 so we'll see. 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:21.280 Let's see. 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:27.240 Hey, Jazz, So I have been a long term situationship 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:29.960 and I just need some advice on something that I 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.560 really you know, have been worried about for it. And 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.360 this is because of my own personal growth. So I'm 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:41.200 in my relationship, I'm the more communicated person and the 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.000 other person is a person who needs time to walk away. Right, 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:45.640 That's the thing, like I need, I need to get 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.840 some space clear my mind. And that's it's understandable, you 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:51.640 know that people some people can't just get to the 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:53.960 bottom of it real quick. They need a time to 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:57.080 see what they going through. But it's like when does 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:58.720 it get like okay, now, this is getting played out 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.000 because if you think about it, the number one answer 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:04.000 that older people will have successful relationships say is what 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.960 communication beyond? Like that's like the number one thing everybody say, 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.720 because you have to find a way to really find 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:14.160 that balance to communicate. Right, And it's like, well, thank god, 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:16.320 both of us is not like that. I can't that's 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:19.280 avoid it. But one person is begging to communicating, other 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.760 person's not. So then that means that it has to 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:25.400 be more of an aggressive like exit, which is, oh, 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:26.960 I'm gonna hang out, I'm gonna block you or some 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:28.960 shit like that. Right, It's not like because I'm gonna 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.680 be like no, I want to talk and it's like, nah, 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.520 completely block you out, and you could be literally like 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:37.200 sending messages like just talk to me. It's like, okay, 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:39.080 it's fine, let's just get this. Like it's not that 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.000 big of a deal. And you don't hear from them, 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:43.480 so it's like, how do you deal with that going forward? 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.440 Yeah, that's actually a really really good one because I 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:51.400 can see how both could feel. You know, I feel 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:58.600 like you just describe introvert versus extrovert, but in a relationship, 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.040 that's not how it's supposed to be. There needs to 0:17:01.080 --> 0:17:04.440 be a willingness to come out of your show. 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.040 A little bit more and open up, like as this guy. 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:09.679 If I know that I'm with a person who is 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:13.879 a bit communicator. All she does is communicate it, and 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:17.359 I know I'm not I'm gonna try to meet her there. 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:20.359 You know what I'm saying, Like you know, and I 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:22.480 understand because I was even like that. 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:24.280 I was on both sides. 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.600 I'm on more of your side now where I am 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:30.199 communicating more, But at first I was the same way. 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:32.280 I guess that's why I can kind of see where 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.680 he would be coming from. But I had to change that, 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.480 and I was willing to change that meeting the right person. 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:40.600 I was always aggressive and I was always just like no, yo, 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:42.320 I don't want to talk about it. I need time 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.640 because some people sometimes some people want to be mad 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.800 that shit is fucked up, but some people want to 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:48.960 be mad, they want. 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.160 To get it off. That's how some people get shit 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:51.760 off their chests. 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.760 He's not really a mediator because has he seen that 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.440 shit growing up? Has he always been that way because 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:01.040 his parents didn't talk to him, or he just has 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:04.040 never been in a place where he felt safe enough 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:07.240