1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: Coming up on you Need Therapy. 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 2: We've gotten emails in the mailbag on the Bobby Bone 3 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 2: Show about this of like I'm just paraphrasing some because 4 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 2: over the years there's been several but like say, you know, 5 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 2: my maid of honor isn't even coming to my bachelorette party, 6 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 2: Like should I, you know, downgrade her? Oh my god, 7 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 2: you know, made of honor to bridesmaid because why isn't 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 2: she showing up for me in this way? And it's 9 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 2: like everylready has to go to every single thing. 10 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 3: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't 11 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 3: a liability, it's a real gift. 12 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 2: If we don't know something about ourselves at this point 13 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 2: in our life. 14 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: It's probably because it's uncomfortable to know. If you can 15 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: die before you die, then you can really live. There's 16 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,560 Speaker 1: a wisdom at death's door. 17 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 2: I thought I was insane, Yeah, and I didn't know 18 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 2: what to do because there was no internet. 19 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 4: I don't know, man, I'm like, I feel like everything 20 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 4: is hard. 21 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 3: Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. I'm a human first 22 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 3: and a licensed therapist second. And right now I'm inviting 23 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 3: you into conversations that I hope encourage you to become 24 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 3: more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the 25 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 3: world around you. 26 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: Welcome to You Need Therapy. 27 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 3: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You 28 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 3: Need Therapy podcast. My name is Kat I'm the host 29 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 3: and quick reminder her always that although I'm a therapist 30 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 3: in this podcast is called You Need Therapy, nothing that 31 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 3: we talk about in these episodes, or any of these 32 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 3: episodes serves as a replacement or as a substitute for 33 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 3: actual mental health services. 34 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: However, we still hope they can help you on whatever 35 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: journey you on. 36 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 3: And the journey that we are on today is the 37 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 3: journey of bacherette trips bacherette parties. Maybe you can insert 38 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 3: bachelor party if that feels more true to you. 39 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: And I have somebody. 40 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 3: Here to talk about it with me, because I just 41 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 3: thought it would be a little bit more fun to 42 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 3: have a conversation about this with another person versus just 43 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 3: myself who recently went on a bacherette trip that I 44 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 3: can't wait to hear her experience and how she felt 45 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 3: about it. And her name is Amy Brown. 46 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: Hi. 47 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 2: I was at your bachelorette weekend and it was fun. 48 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 4: I had a lot of fun. 49 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 3: What I hope in this conversation is we're going to 50 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 3: talk about all kinds of things, and I want you 51 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 3: to give your real, honest experience of not just mine, 52 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 3: but also maybe some others that you've been on or 53 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 3: just things that you've seen, and the kind of thing 54 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 3: that prompted me to create an episode on this because 55 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 3: it's kind of weird, like you're talking about bacherette parties, 56 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 3: but your podcast is supposed to be about mental health 57 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 3: and therapy. 58 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,239 Speaker 1: Was because last week when we. 59 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 3: Were as a couple weeks ago we went on mine, 60 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 3: I had so many emotions go through me. I was excited. 61 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 3: It was one of the best weekends I think I've 62 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 3: ever had. I felt guilty, I felt nervous, I felt 63 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 3: like sad at some points, and a lot of excitement, 64 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 3: a lot of joy, and so all of that has 65 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 3: to do with feelings and emotions. 66 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: So that has to do with mental health. 67 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 4: And you definitely cried at the kitchen table one night. 68 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 1: I cried about my dog. I didn't even like, yeah, 69 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: I cried about you, uh huh. 70 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 2: If you were sharing stories and you were like oh, 71 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 2: and then you were laughing, and then you were like 72 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 2: crying and then you were laughing and then you were crying. 73 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:23,519 Speaker 1: It was sweet. Yeah. 74 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 3: And so what I wanted to really bring up and 75 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 3: just have a conversation about is what are badcherette parties 76 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 3: and what are our feelings about them? Where did they 77 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 3: come from? How did they get to be what they 78 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 3: are now? Because when I take a step back, and 79 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 3: when I think about taking step back from even my own, 80 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 3: I get this very overwhelming feeling. And I had that 81 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 3: feeling going into it, especially when people were asking and 82 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 3: when my sister was asking what do you want to do? 83 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: And where do you want to eat? And do you 84 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: want to do this? 85 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 3: And da da da, and I'm like, I'm not used 86 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 3: to making all these decisions for the group. And I 87 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 3: would be like, well, what does everybody else want to do? 88 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 3: And they'd be like it doesn't matter, this is about you, 89 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 3: and I'm like, I don't get it, Like why can't 90 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 3: I be about all of us? And there's just so 91 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 3: many things going on. So I want to break down 92 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 3: what the point of a batcherette trip is. And I 93 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 3: don't know where they started, but I did ask my 94 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 3: mom if she had one and did she no? I said, 95 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 3: did you have a bacherette party. I was texting her 96 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 3: and she said, no, your dad went out the night 97 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,720 Speaker 3: before a wedding. I went to the bar with her 98 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 3: best friend. I guess a bar that somebody they knew 99 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 3: worked at and had a drink and then went to bed. 100 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, but it wasn't like a 101 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,919 Speaker 3: thought for her. I don't think they did that. And 102 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 3: then batcherette and bachelor parties were like a one night 103 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,479 Speaker 3: It was maybe like the night before the wedding or 104 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 3: the night before the night before, and it was just 105 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 3: like one last celebration, one last shebang. 106 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 4: Haurrah hurrah. 107 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 2: It says it came they took off in popularity like 108 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 2: in the seventies and eighties. 109 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 3: Oh really, my mom got married in eighty four. So 110 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 3: do you want to have a late batcherette party moment? Anyway, 111 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 3: I want to hear from you when you think about 112 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 3: a baucherette party, what things come to mind? Like now, 113 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 3: not from the Saturday's eighties, but when you think about 114 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 3: a baucherette party, what are the images and words and 115 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 3: thoughts that come in your head? 116 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 4: Girls? 117 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 2: Connection, fun, bonding, relaxing like Mine's not it's more just 118 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 2: being together lagerie, maybe celebrating gifts, like talking about funny things. 119 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 2: I don't know, pin the penis on your partner. That's 120 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 2: what happened at mine. 121 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: So okay, you had one. Yeah. 122 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 4: Well I didn't have a weekend, but I had a party. 123 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: Okay. 124 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 2: So for one night we all got together at my 125 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 2: friend Jill's house, and for some of it, my mom 126 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 2: and my mother in law were there, and my friend 127 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 2: Jill had all the ice cubes were penis shaped. She 128 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 2: made She got the mold, you know, and filled it 129 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,799 Speaker 2: up with water and made her own ice cubes. 130 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:52,480 Speaker 1: That's cute. 131 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 4: And they were some were big, some were small. 132 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 2: And I remember her going out to Ben's small and 133 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 2: she's like, do you want a big one or. 134 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 4: A small one? And I was like, this is all wait. 135 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 2: My parents were all there, just my mom and my 136 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 2: mother in law okay for some of it okay, and 137 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 2: it was all girls okay. And then them did they 138 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 2: buy you lingerie? I don't remember exactly. I don't remember. 139 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 2: I just remember Jill asking my soon to be mother 140 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 2: in law, who's like the sweetest, most precious, quiet spoken 141 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 2: person on the planet, if she wanted a big one 142 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 2: or a small one and then I'm pretty sure Jill 143 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 2: also asked her if she wanted to be blindfolded to 144 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 2: pin the penis le bin because they had done a big, 145 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 2: huge blow up that's funny of him, like a life 146 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 2: size and then you spin around and try to pin it. 147 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,839 Speaker 2: I mean, it wasn't a bunch of activities like that. 148 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 2: I think that was only one and it was just funny, yeah, 149 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 2: and comical. She had manicurists come to her house, so 150 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 2: everybody rotated like getting a manicure, and we had food 151 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 2: and cake and we all hung out. 152 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 4: And then after that we all. 153 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 2: Went downtown Austin and we went to a club and 154 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 2: danced and hung out and then that was it. 155 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: Wait, that's so fun It's funny when you said your words, 156 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 1: because the things that. 157 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 3: Come to my mind are different, really, So that's what 158 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 3: you said is like what I would want. I like that, 159 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 3: like connection, friends, fun games. But when I think of 160 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 3: bachelerette parties now, I think of like matching outfits, I 161 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 3: think of party buses. 162 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: I think of a lot of money. I think of that's. 163 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 2: Because we live in Nashville, and every bachelet party in 164 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 2: the world comes here and we see them you know, 165 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 2: on a pedal tavern with their with the matching outfits 166 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 2: and which you had matching sweatshirts at yours, but that 167 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 2: was for the pickleball. 168 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. 169 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 3: Well, when I actually talked to my sister about that, 170 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 3: I was like, what if somebody doesn't want to wear this? 171 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 3: But they were really inexpensive. Nobody had to spend any 172 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 3: extra money to get them. And it was a sweatshirt. 173 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,679 Speaker 3: It wasn't like you have to go find an all 174 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 3: cow hide patterned tedd to toe outfit with silver boots 175 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 3: and you have to do your hair this way. 176 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: That's what we're wearing. 177 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 3: That's what we're doing, right, and if you don't want 178 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 3: to wear that, you can't come. Okay on the party 179 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 3: bus wow, And one of my friends texted me about 180 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 3: our other friend who didn't get to come her batchlet 181 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 3: party that we went to when we're twenty three, and 182 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 3: it was so different one we were ten years younger. 183 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 3: But it was like the most basic, Like we stayed 184 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 3: in an average condo, we were at the beach. We 185 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 3: didn't have matching outfits. We just went to the bar 186 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 3: next door at night. There wasn't a balloon arch, there 187 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,839 Speaker 3: wasn't a goodie bag that was worth one hundred and 188 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 3: fifty dollars that everybody got. There wasn't a private chef, 189 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 3: and there wasn't like you know what there seems to 190 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 3: be now. 191 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 1: It was very but it was so much fun. 192 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,079 Speaker 3: And I've watched the batchlet parties that I've been on 193 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 3: and that I've also just seen on social media. As 194 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 3: the last ten years have gone by, they have become 195 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 3: so extravagant, right, I. 196 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,199 Speaker 4: Mean from what I can tell some people, Yeah, it's 197 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 4: the thing. 198 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: So I've found this fun fact from I guess there's a. 199 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 3: Party playing app. I think there's a lot of these. 200 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 3: It's a business batch ret parties right now, businesses. I 201 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 3: think that's one of the issues is now it's something 202 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 3: that people can make money off of. I want you 203 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 3: to guess in twenty twenty three, what the average cost 204 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 3: of a batchelerette party is. 205 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 2: Okay, just one party or a weekend or one party 206 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 2: per person or in total. 207 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 1: You can do either. 208 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 2: Okay, well, if it's a weekend away, I guess, just 209 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 2: depending on how many girls are splitting it in the 210 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 2: price of something. But I don't know five hundred dollars 211 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 2: a person. I'm leaving some blank space there because that 212 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 2: sounds wonderful. But the average cost for a typical, not 213 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 2: high end, typical batcherette party is now one two hundred dollars. 214 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 4: Wow. 215 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a mean, that's a lot to ask of 216 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 2: your friends your bridal party, when they're already spending money 217 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 2: on address and maybe traveling to the wedding and gifts, 218 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 2: and yeah, what about that? 219 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 3: And I say this to everybody, I just had one, 220 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 3: and I don't know how much it ended up being 221 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 3: per person. 222 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,000 Speaker 4: We could well, I could tell you, we could do. 223 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 2: The math, but it was worth every penny well, and 224 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 2: I think it was special. 225 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: Well, thank you. 226 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,079 Speaker 3: And the ones that I've been on, I've never regretted 227 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 3: going on one that I've chosen to go on. But 228 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 3: I just wanted to put this out here because when 229 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 3: we say it like that, that's a lot of money, 230 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,959 Speaker 3: and it is a lot to ask. And one, it's 231 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 3: okay if that feels overwhelming and you can't do it. 232 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 3: And two, for the form the perspective of the bride, 233 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 3: if somebody can't do that, that's okay. It doesn't mean 234 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 3: you have to change what you want to do. It 235 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 3: just means that not everybody will be able to go, possibly, 236 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 3: and that has nothing to do with people liking you 237 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 3: or thinking you're special. There's just more to it, and 238 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 3: I think it can become very misunderstood, and. 239 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,719 Speaker 2: As the bride to be, you know, a couple of 240 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 2: weeks ago, when we were doing that, if there was 241 00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 2: someone that hadn't or wasn't gonna be able to come 242 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 2: because of for whatever reason, probably maybe the finances, Like 243 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,559 Speaker 2: how you would understand as the. 244 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 3: Bride, Yes, I had a friend, one of my best 245 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 3: friends from college didn't wasn't able to come because she 246 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 3: just couldn't make it work with things that she has 247 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 3: going on with her family right now. And she had 248 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,840 Speaker 3: agreed to go and then texted me a little bit 249 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 3: later and was like, actually, I said yes because I 250 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 3: really want to go, but. 251 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: I can't do this. 252 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my gosh, that's totally obviously 253 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 3: I want you to come, and I'm sad, but I'm 254 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 3: not going to be mad at you that you can't 255 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 3: make this work and take this time and this money. 256 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 2: But you know that this is probably a hot button 257 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 2: for a lot of yes brides or friendships or grooms 258 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 2: if they're having the bachelor party or something like if 259 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 2: one of their people decides, for whatever reason, they can't go, 260 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 2: they may take it very personally when you know we shouldn't. 261 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 4: It's sort of like the mail robins. 262 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 2: Let them, but not really because I don't know that 263 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 2: you're just like disregarding, like like you haven't been invited. 264 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 2: Oh that's another thing, how to decide how you're going 265 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 2: to invite to the party. But if you don't get invited, 266 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,560 Speaker 2: that's where they let them. Theory can kind of come 267 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 2: in of like, Okay, I wasn't included in that. That's fine, 268 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 2: let them because I don't want to take up space 269 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 2: in my brain with that. 270 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 4: It's like, okay, okay, that's a fact. 271 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 2: It is what it is, and now I'm going to 272 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 2: move on and not be offended by it. But I 273 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: think there's brides We've gotten emails in the mail bag 274 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: on the Bobby Bone Show about this. We've gotten emails 275 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 2: in the mail bag on the Bobby Bone Show about this. 276 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 2: Of like I'm just paraphrasing some because over the years 277 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 2: there's been several but like say, you know, my maid 278 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 2: of honor isn't even coming to my bachelorette party, Like 279 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 2: should I you know, downgrade her, Oh my god, you know, 280 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 2: made of honor to bridesmaid, because why isn't she showing 281 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 2: up for me in this way? And it's like, not 282 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 2: everybody has to go to every single thing or there's 283 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 2: also been speaking back to the money thing. 284 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 4: We had a mail bag recently. 285 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 2: I can't remember if it was a bachelor or a bachelorette, 286 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 2: but it was going to be expensive and the wedding 287 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,719 Speaker 2: was already a lot and it's like, do I have 288 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 2: to go to this? 289 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 4: You know? 290 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,079 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, so I want to go back to the 291 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 3: downgrading of the maid of honor because I get that, 292 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 3: in one respect, maybe your feelings are hurt of they're 293 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 3: not making the effort. However, the other thing is what's 294 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 3: the point of a maid of honor because a lot 295 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 3: of times we look at it as the person who's 296 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 3: going to plan our Batchelotte party now versus my maid 297 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 3: of honor really means what it is the person that 298 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,839 Speaker 3: I want right next to me as I go and 299 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 3: marry this person that I hope to be with for 300 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 3: the rest of my life, that I want to be 301 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 3: supporting me the closest. That's what that is for. And 302 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,319 Speaker 3: so if she can't come to your bacheyrette party. There 303 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 3: is so much space for that to suck and for 304 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 3: you to be sad and disappointed. But I don't know 305 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 3: that that means that then they aren't able to still 306 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,720 Speaker 3: support you in your marriage, right. 307 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I personally wouldn't write that, but I 308 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 2: give that respond that way. No, I totally get that. 309 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,320 Speaker 3: I think that's one of the reasons I wanted to 310 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 3: bring this up is because we've blown out of proportion 311 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 3: what a baucherette trip is for. It used to be 312 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 3: one night a party, to have this one last hurrah 313 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 3: with your girls, to celebrate one celebrate you. Bacher culture 314 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 3: is a whole different thing. 315 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 2: Which I mean some of that has been more debauchery, 316 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, guy side of things, and you know 317 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 2: which that I don't. 318 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not into that. 319 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 2: Like when I was getting married, I had my one 320 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 2: night thing, like with my girlfriends. 321 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 4: We didn't even spend the night together. 322 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 2: Everybody went home and then whatever bind did I think 323 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 2: they played poker and then they golfed, So maybe it 324 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: was golf during the day and then like a little 325 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 2: poker tournament at night with like cigars and drinks or whatnot, 326 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 2: Like it's very low key with the guys, which but 327 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: but some people still go all out and do the 328 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 2: whole like my Last Night of Freedom the Strip Club. 329 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I into a trip club one time in 330 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 3: my life and I went against my will. 331 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 1: It was a birthday party. They told me we were 332 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 1: going to this. 333 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 3: It was called the Cheetah, and they told me that 334 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 3: it was like a bar and it had like it 335 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 3: was glass floors and there's cheetahs walk around underneath. So 336 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 3: I was like, oh go, it wasn't There was no 337 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 3: actual cheetahs. Anyway, there was a bachelor party there, and 338 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 3: I have a little bit of regret because this guy 339 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 3: was really like what the heck? 340 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: I question? 341 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 3: This man was like, I don't understand why you're here. 342 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 3: I don't get why you need to come here to 343 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 3: celebrate marrying the person that you're gonna marry. Isn't she upset? 344 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 3: Which she like a whole thing. And I think he 345 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 3: was like I was just trying to have a good time, 346 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 3: and I'm like okay, and they're like she needs to go. 347 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 3: I'm like trying to, like you know, like read some 348 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 3: Bible stories to him. Not really, but anyway, that's a 349 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 3: whole different thing of that culture and what that is like. 350 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 2: But well, I've been to a bachelorette party in Vegas 351 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 2: and we went to Thunder down Under. 352 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: Is that a wait, that's the like a Chippendales. 353 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,840 Speaker 4: Kind of thing. Yeah, you know it's a show. 354 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 2: Okay, they have their shirts off in the little blow tie. 355 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 3: And like, if strip clubs are your thing, that's not 356 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 3: what I'm here to. Like really the part Yeah, it's 357 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 3: really okay. What is the point of these parties? Is 358 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 3: what are we celebrating? And then what have they accidentally 359 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 3: turned into? Where they actually accidentally have turned into these 360 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,080 Speaker 3: like tests that like are you really my ride or died? 361 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 3: Do you really care about me? Or how can I 362 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 3: have the most extravagant, most instagram worthy? Like One of 363 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 3: the questions I would love to be able to answer 364 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 3: is what would bacherette parties be like today if social 365 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 3: media didn't exist? Because if I think about the decor 366 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 3: that we used to put up versus the decor that 367 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 3: people do now sometimes which is beautiful. You can, like 368 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 3: I said, there's this is a business. You can hire 369 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 3: somebody to come decorate. You're already bacherette themed Airbnb that 370 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 3: exists before you get there, with backdrops and balloons and 371 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 3: streamers in this and all the stuff. So they've become 372 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:07,120 Speaker 3: these huge, extravagant things that were just sometimes I feel 373 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 3: like we're just trying to get a good picture versus 374 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:14,199 Speaker 3: what you said, like connection celebration where it can be both, 375 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 3: but I think sometimes one trump's the other, and we 376 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 3: miss some of the celebration, the connection because we're worried 377 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 3: about making it perfect and look this way and something 378 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 3: that people are going like, oh my gosh, did you 379 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 3: see her on Cloud nine batchrette trip, da da da da? 380 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 3: Did you see her balloon arch? Did you see her 381 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 3: matching whatever cowhide. 382 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,199 Speaker 2: Outfits on silver boots and this hair? Specifically? You know, 383 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,199 Speaker 2: something fun we did at yours that I thought that 384 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:44,199 Speaker 2: was special and fun and I would assume helped you 385 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 2: feel seen as a friend was everyone was asked to 386 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 2: buy a shirt that made them think of you, and 387 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 2: then we all put it on at one point, and 388 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 2: we all walked out into the living room and you 389 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 2: got to walk around and look at everybody's shirt that 390 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 2: they had picked out specifically for you, And I just 391 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 2: remember looking at your face and you were lit up 392 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 2: and like each person you would look and just start 393 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 2: laughing and then there would be this moment of connection. 394 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 2: And that was a really special way to find something. 395 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 2: I mean a lot of girls just ordered the shirts 396 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 2: on Amazon or Etsy or maybe they made it like. 397 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 4: It wasn't anything crazy, but. 398 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 2: It was a nice touch and I feel like you 399 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,879 Speaker 2: as a bride, yeah, it just helped you feel seen 400 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 2: and loved. 401 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 3: And what was cool was every shirt was so different 402 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 3: and it highlighted the friendship I have with each person, 403 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 3: in the relationship I have with each person and our 404 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 3: jokes and all of that. But one of the things 405 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 3: that I was very adamant about when doing this because 406 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 3: I'm somebody who can easily get lost in that the Instagram. 407 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't have like an aesthetically pleasing Instagram, 408 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 3: but I can get lost and oh that's so pretty 409 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 3: or that looks so cool, and then I have to 410 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,080 Speaker 3: come back to Okay, But do I want to put 411 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 3: the energy into doing that or is that is the 412 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 3: work worth what that looks like? And so when I 413 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 3: was planning this, where I didn't plan it, I just 414 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 3: like told my sister the kind of vibe I wanted. 415 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 3: I really told her, I want to go and do things. 416 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,119 Speaker 3: I want to do things that I like, like playing pickleball, 417 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 3: playing having a game night. But I really just want 418 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 3: everybody to be able to have a good time and 419 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 3: relax and enjoy each other and laugh. Like That's what 420 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 3: I wanted, and that is what I really want to 421 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 3: encourage people to think about when they are whether choosing 422 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,679 Speaker 3: to go on one of these or also getting really 423 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 3: anxious about planning them. I planned one for a friend 424 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 3: actually in Nashville. 425 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: The year before. 426 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,239 Speaker 3: And if you know me, you know that I am 427 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 3: not good at attention to detail. I want to be crafty, 428 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 3: but I'm not artistic. And you're not ever going to 429 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,200 Speaker 3: call me to plan a vacation. I'm not the person 430 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 3: who's going to do that because I'll either do nothing 431 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 3: or I spend way too much time on it. And 432 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 3: I wanted this to be like the most special weekend 433 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 3: for my friend and I really worked myself up over it, 434 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,360 Speaker 3: and she was like, I just want to hang out 435 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,399 Speaker 3: with you guys, And I'm like, oh, okay, so you don't. 436 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: You don't care that I made. I made this backdrop. 437 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 3: I went to hobby lobby, I got all these things, 438 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,720 Speaker 3: I cut all these things I spent hours on my 439 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 3: office in between sessions cutting out felt to spell these words. 440 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: Have you ever tried to cut letters that have felt 441 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 1: you need to do it backwards? 442 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 2: No? 443 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,000 Speaker 3: I haven't, And she would liked that, but she was like, 444 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 3: I just liked I just want to be with you guys, 445 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,959 Speaker 3: And I'm like, okay, we're getting lost in the woods. 446 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 3: And so the mutty, we don't have to spend all 447 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 3: that money to enjoy and celebrate each other. And a 448 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,879 Speaker 3: question I ask clients a lot is if you couldn't 449 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 3: post about doing that on Instagram, would you. 450 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 4: Still do it? 451 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 3: It's my favorite question to ask when people make goals, 452 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 3: like athletic goals like running a marathon. Okay, well would 453 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 3: you run that marathon if you couldn't post Instagram about it? 454 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,679 Speaker 3: A lot of times they would say no, really, yes, wow, 455 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,440 Speaker 3: which I think is very talent. And I said, Okay, 456 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,640 Speaker 3: then you shouldn't do it. It didn't sound like that's 457 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,320 Speaker 3: something you really want to do. It's something that you 458 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 3: want people to know that you did, but it's not 459 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:14,719 Speaker 3: something you want to do. 460 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 2: And so dang, when I run my marathon, there was 461 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,360 Speaker 2: no Instagram, there was no Facebook. So that's what I'm 462 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,400 Speaker 2: saying there must know nothing, But I mean that would 463 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 2: have been that it is an accomplishment. 464 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 4: Where you're like, oh, I just ran a marathon. But yeah, 465 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 4: it's like, what's the motive are you doing it? 466 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,439 Speaker 3: I think it's fair to like care that people know, 467 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 3: but is that the full motivation? And so when we're 468 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 3: planning these trips or we're thinking about these trips, would 469 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,840 Speaker 3: we do this if we couldn't post the picture of 470 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 3: this on Instagram? And if we wouldn't, Okay, then what 471 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 3: would you spend that time, energy, money on? 472 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 1: And can you do that? 473 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,120 Speaker 2: That's a good question to ask yourself about anything anything. 474 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:53,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 475 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 3: The other thing I find pretty interesting about and we 476 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 3: kind of touched on this with Bacherett culture is the 477 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 3: drinking aspect because that's been such a big part of it, 478 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 3: and I mean, especially in Nashville. 479 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 1: If you haven't ever been to Nashville. 480 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,080 Speaker 3: My office is very close to Broadway, but it's on 481 00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 3: a street that party buses every day of the week 482 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 3: will drive by all hours of the day, and so 483 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,400 Speaker 3: there's a lot of drinking, a lot of like over 484 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,960 Speaker 3: consumption and like, this is not a podcast about alcoholism 485 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 3: or addiction. 486 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 1: And sobriety at all. 487 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 3: But I think it's fair for people who don't really 488 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 3: like doing that or maybe are trying to be sober 489 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 3: or have struggle with that in the past, that that's 490 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 3: something that can get in the way of either if 491 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,400 Speaker 3: you're a bride, well, then what do I do? 492 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:43,880 Speaker 1: And are people still going to want to come? 493 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,479 Speaker 3: And if I am, if I am invited, what if 494 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 3: I don't feel okay? 495 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 1: What do I do about that? Can I tell them that? 496 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,320 Speaker 1: Do I have to just suck it up? There's just 497 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 1: pressure to drink to drink. Yeah, is that something you've 498 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,760 Speaker 1: I assume you've seen that. Yeah. 499 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 4: I mean I didn't feel that at yours at all. 500 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,919 Speaker 2: There was there's a few girls that were pregnant, yeah, 501 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 2: and so that's good, Like they were not drinking, yeah, 502 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 2: And I never felt pressure if anything. 503 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 4: I mean, there was some fun. 504 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 2: Moments like I can't remember the last time I took 505 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 2: a shot, and I know I took. 506 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:21,399 Speaker 4: A shot with you actually too, and it was fun. 507 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 2: But then I sort of stopped after that and there 508 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,680 Speaker 2: was no pressure to keep going. 509 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,439 Speaker 4: I feel like there was both ends. 510 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 2: There was a pregnant girls not drinking, but they still 511 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 2: participated in the fun like when we played flip cup, 512 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 2: like they just did water instead of alcohol. And then 513 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 2: there was on the other and the things a couple 514 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 2: of girls that were, yeah, they were the life of 515 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,439 Speaker 2: the party and they were going to make sure that 516 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 2: everybody had a drink if they wanted one, and they 517 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:52,719 Speaker 2: would walk around with trays of drinks serving people. But 518 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,719 Speaker 2: there was stuff on both ends and then people in between. 519 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,880 Speaker 2: I feel like I was sort of maybe in between, 520 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 2: and I think that creating a welcoming space like that, 521 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 2: so no matter what anybody is feeling or going through, 522 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 2: they feel safe to not drink or drink. 523 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, and that was the environment you had. 524 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 2: So I don't know if that was intentional, but I 525 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 2: never felt uncomfortable, but I could see how some parties 526 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,920 Speaker 2: may absolutely feel that way. 527 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I think that this can be so different. 528 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:29,800 Speaker 3: So specifically for me, I can drink, but I also 529 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 3: cannot drink. Like I can do it and I'm happy 530 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 3: to do it, and then like I can have a 531 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 3: day and have fun without it, and so I also 532 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 3: don't really care if the people around me are drinking either. 533 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 3: I can drink if you're not drinking, and I also 534 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,320 Speaker 3: canot drink if you're drinking, and so that's went into 535 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 3: my we can especially because one of the people who 536 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 3: were pregnant was my sister and so I did want 537 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 3: my sister to enjoy the weekend, and so that was 538 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,399 Speaker 3: part of my thought process. However, some brides that's what 539 00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:00,439 Speaker 3: they want. They want a party and the sake of 540 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 3: over consumption kind of type of party. And I would 541 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 3: just like to put out there for anybody who that's 542 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 3: not their vibe. If the space doesn't feel safe for 543 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 3: you to stay within what feels okay for you, if 544 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 3: there is that type of pressure, then it really sounds 545 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 3: like that's not somewhere you need to be. 546 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 1: If you don't get if you don't feel like you 547 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:21,920 Speaker 1: can make choices. 548 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,639 Speaker 3: For yourself, if that wouldn't be respected, and so if 549 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 3: that is the pressure, and that's the question. 550 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:27,679 Speaker 1: Like I don't know, like I feel like if I go, 551 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to drink. 552 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 3: And that's your answer, I think, and that there's I'm 553 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 3: not saying that the bride needs to change what she's doing, 554 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,840 Speaker 3: because the bride gets to decide and then we get 555 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 3: decide if we want to go or not. But I 556 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,880 Speaker 3: think there's a lot of times this will I feel 557 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 3: like I have to and I want people to take 558 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 3: that kind of permission and power back. The other thought 559 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 3: before we close this out, because I did do an 560 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 3: episode a while ago about it was really about living 561 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,400 Speaker 3: together before marriage, but we talked a lot about the 562 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 3: average age of people getting married is getting higher. How 563 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 3: do you think that people getting married later has also 564 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 3: played a role in bacherette parties becoming more extravagant. 565 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 4: Because if they're getting married later in life, they have 566 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 4: more money. 567 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,639 Speaker 3: I'm just asking you, like, what would you assume, like 568 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,240 Speaker 3: why do you think that do you think that plays 569 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 3: a role in it? 570 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,959 Speaker 2: Well, I would assume you have more expendable income if 571 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 2: you're marrying later than if you're in your early twenties, 572 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 2: depending because yeah, I'm kind of shocked. Actually, the vaguest 573 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,400 Speaker 2: one I went on, I was in my early twenties, 574 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,919 Speaker 2: but it was like we were all having to like 575 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 2: share root, like it's a very time budget. Like it 576 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 2: was not that relaxing. In fact, I remember being a 577 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 2: little bit stressful because of that. But I still wanted 578 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 2: to go. Yeah, and I think if I had said no, 579 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,359 Speaker 2: that would have been fine, But I didn't want it. 580 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 2: I was like, no, I'm going to be a part 581 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,199 Speaker 2: of this, so I made it work. But yeah, social 582 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 2: media gives people a way to see what everybody else 583 00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 2: has going on, and they're like, oh, well, if they're 584 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 2: doing that, I want to do that. Which before there 585 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 2: wasn't a place to blast it everywhere, so you didn't 586 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 2: know really what people were doing. 587 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,160 Speaker 4: There was no way to compare. 588 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: You didn't know I people were sharing ruse or had this. 589 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 2: You didn't have to keep up with the Joneses bachelorette parties. 590 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I remember talking to some of my friends 591 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 3: being like, well, when I get married, since I'm going 592 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,680 Speaker 3: to be like, however, old, when I get married, we're 593 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 3: all going to go fly to Mexico and we're going 594 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 3: to do this, and we're going to do that. And 595 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,640 Speaker 3: then when it came to it, I was like, we're 596 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 3: not doing that, Like that sounds nice, but yeah, you're right. 597 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,720 Speaker 1: We were older. 598 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,000 Speaker 3: So sure, maybe some of us have more what is 599 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,439 Speaker 3: the word expendable income? 600 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 1: Is that the right term? 601 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, we have that, but that doesn't mean that that's 602 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,640 Speaker 3: the way that we want to spend our money. First 603 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 3: of all, and I think that that we need to 604 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 3: allow that to be a thing. It's like I might 605 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 3: have more money, I might make more money now, but 606 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,720 Speaker 3: you actually we might be using that money for different 607 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 3: things than we were using it when we were twenty three. 608 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 3: And the other thing is like this in almost this entitlement, 609 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 3: where at twenty three I would sleep in a bed 610 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 3: with three other people and be like cool. Actually I 611 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,399 Speaker 3: did do that at like thirty on a trip, but 612 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,399 Speaker 3: it's like now it's like if I'm gonna go, I 613 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 3: need and I deserve and I whatever this kind of 614 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,360 Speaker 3: room and the da da da da. And I think 615 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 3: part of that really does come from what you're saying 616 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 3: is I'm seeing what other people are doing and I 617 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 3: should be able to do that. But again I would 618 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 3: encourage people to ask, but do I need that? And 619 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 3: do is that really me? Or like, am I fine 620 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 3: to share this room with this person? 621 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 4: I shared a room at your bachelorette with three people. 622 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 4: I shared three people, so I shared a bed. 623 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 2: Well that sort of got sorted out because one of 624 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 2: the girls had a fever, so like you're in that 625 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 2: bed by yourself, and then I slept with someone else. 626 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: But it was fun. 627 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 2: I felt like it was sixteen girls, which was a 628 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 2: lot in a house in a The house was pretty big, 629 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 2: but we still had to share beds. Yeah, and it 630 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 2: was fun, Like and I'm forty two, Yeah you can. 631 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: If we shared a bed moment to New York. 632 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, and like that's fine if like you aren't 633 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 3: the type of person that wants to do that. My 634 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 3: point in that is, like it is okay to still 635 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 3: create an environment. It can be a little nicer, sure, 636 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 3: if you have the money and you want to spend it, 637 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 3: but it's okay if you don't want to, Like, that's okay. 638 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,240 Speaker 3: What I want people to hear in this is two things. 639 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 3: Maybe this might turn into like five things with just 640 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:22,640 Speaker 3: how I talk. One, for the bride, I want you 641 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,200 Speaker 3: to think about what is the point of this and 642 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 3: how do the choices and the decisions we're making about 643 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 3: this reflect that? And if they don't reflect that, then 644 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 3: maybe I need to do some course correction. And for 645 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 3: the person going, I want you to think about, Okay, 646 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 3: what is the point in me going? And can I 647 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 3: make that happen? And does going on this trip reflect 648 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 3: what the point of me going would be if I'm 649 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 3: just doing this because I feel like I feel pressured 650 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 3: to I don't know that that's going to feel very good. 651 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 3: There's going to be some friction and some tension, some 652 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 3: resentment about spending money, which might create a bigger issue 653 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 3: than you saying like I don't think that I can 654 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,720 Speaker 3: make this work, and so that's what I really in 655 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 3: the big picture, I want people to. 656 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 4: Think about this. 657 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 2: You're talking about bachelorette, bachelor parties and whatnot, but this 658 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 2: could be for the actual wedding. It could be for 659 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 2: a birthday party, you know, like your thirtieth birthday, your fortieth, 660 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 2: like the milestones that you tend to celebrate, or Christmas 661 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 2: parties or. 662 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, anyway, when. 663 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 2: You really sit down and think of why am I 664 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 2: throwing this party, Why am I wanting to get these 665 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 2: people together, build out yeah, all the reasons why, and 666 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 2: to make sure you're in alignment. I feel like that's 667 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 2: what I'm getting from all of this is sometimes we're 668 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 2: planning things based on what others are doing, and we 669 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 2: would walk away more fulfilled if we were doing what 670 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 2: we actually wanted to do. Regardless of where it falls 671 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 2: in all the different things that we've mentioned, there's no 672 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 2: right or wrong way to do it, but is it 673 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,959 Speaker 2: what you want to do. YEA. 674 00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,520 Speaker 3: What we're really saying is just take some power back 675 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 3: and with anything, you don't have to do something just 676 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,520 Speaker 3: because that's the way other people do it or that's 677 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 3: just what you do. 678 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 1: There was a. 679 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 3: Therapist that I worked with I've mentioned on here before. 680 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 3: He was a brilliant therapist, but he had been doing 681 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 3: it for a while and times were changing, and we 682 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 3: were bringing some things up to him week after a 683 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 3: week and bringing these new ideas and also being like, oh, you. 684 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,720 Speaker 1: Can't really say that anymore or that's not really. 685 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,160 Speaker 3: Appropriate, and he would always say, well, I don't get it. 686 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 3: We've done it this way for fifteen years, and fifteen years. 687 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:33,480 Speaker 1: We never had any issue, and now all. 688 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 3: Of a sudden, and I'm like, just because you did 689 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,800 Speaker 3: it for fifteen years and it worked, it doesn't mean 690 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 3: that it's going to work the sixteenth year. So sometimes 691 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 3: it didn't and we had to learn that the hardware, 692 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 3: or maybe he did, or maybe he'd never never learned. 693 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. 694 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 3: That's really what we're saying is just because everybody else, 695 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,240 Speaker 3: that's what you do, that's what you see on social media, 696 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 3: that's what you did it your friends, that's what so 697 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 3: and said said was fun. TikTok gave you this idea 698 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 3: and they said it was the most popular theme of 699 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 3: the It doesn't mean that that is what you have 700 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 3: to want to do. And there's going to be some 701 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 3: icky bubbly feelings, some resentment, some maybe some regret, some 702 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:19,400 Speaker 3: sadness and grief if you don't allow yourself to stay 703 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 3: true to what actually would accomplish the goals that you have. 704 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 2: And I think the goal should be cup full, like 705 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,239 Speaker 2: things that fill your cup up and not deplete you. 706 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:31,840 Speaker 1: And that could be different for everybody. 707 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, so that goes back to like, I don't want 708 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 3: people to hear any judgment because if you want to 709 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,320 Speaker 3: go to I mean, Patrick's. 710 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: Going to Vegas for his Badgery party. If you want 711 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:41,960 Speaker 1: to go to Vegas. 712 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 3: And you want to, you know, spend twenty thousand dollars 713 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 3: at a casino and your partners okay with that. And 714 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 3: if you want to, if you want to be drinking 715 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 3: every day, if that fills your cup. 716 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 1: The point of this podcast is not to say that 717 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: that's wrong. 718 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 2: If you want a policeman and a fireman knocking on 719 00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 2: your door, if you want to go. 720 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,479 Speaker 3: To the Cheetah, then you can do that, but I 721 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,680 Speaker 3: want you to do it because you want to do 722 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 3: that and not because that's what you saw on the hangover. 723 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and one thing we were going to do over 724 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 2: the weekend for you was there was a hike planned. 725 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. 726 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 4: I think it's also important to read the room. 727 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 2: And then you, as the bride to be, you were 728 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 2: the one that made that call to not go on 729 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 2: the hike. Every single girl, if you had said we're 730 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 2: going on the hike, we would be like, Okay, we're 731 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 2: going on the hike. But you were like, eh, I 732 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 2: don't really want to do the hike anymore, and we 733 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 2: all just said okay. 734 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:31,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 735 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 2: And I'm sure that there's some groups of people where 736 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 2: someone's going to get all up in arms because the 737 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 2: hike was on the schedule and now we're not doing 738 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,440 Speaker 2: the hike. But you're the bride and you get to 739 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,479 Speaker 2: decide like it's your party, and that ended up being okay, 740 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,240 Speaker 2: and we all just went with the flow. So my 741 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 2: encouragement would be be Bendy, be breezy. 742 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 3: Breezy and Bendy. I do have a regret from that trip. 743 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,480 Speaker 3: It's not going on the hike. Well, it's not the 744 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,239 Speaker 3: hike I had been on that hike twice, and it 745 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,280 Speaker 3: is a really pretty hike. One of the reason I 746 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 3: didn't want to go was because it was an hour away, 747 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 3: so it would be in the car so much, and 748 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 3: I'm like, Oh, do we really want to spend we 749 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,280 Speaker 3: drove five hours here, do we want to drive and whatever? 750 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:05,920 Speaker 1: Probably not. 751 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 3: My only regret is and I couldn't have I guess 752 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,319 Speaker 3: I really couldn't have known this till afterwards. I wish 753 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 3: we still would have gone to that brewery we were 754 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 3: supposed to go to that day instead of going downtown. 755 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,279 Speaker 3: So we were in Asheville and we were supposed to 756 00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 3: go on this hike and then on the way back 757 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,640 Speaker 3: stop at Sierra Nevada. And I've only been there once, 758 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 3: but I went there when it was really nice outside, 759 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 3: and so I personally don't like beer, so I wasn't 760 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,280 Speaker 3: going there to drink. I was going there for the vibes. 761 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 3: And so it was cold that day and I was like, Oh, 762 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 3: maybe we shouldn't go. Let's just go walk around to 763 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 3: Asheville and like pop into some shops and buy some 764 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 3: Christmas ornaments, which I did, and I got a pick 765 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:41,880 Speaker 3: a ball ornament. 766 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,759 Speaker 1: Did I show it to you. Oh you missed the 767 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 1: pickleball part. 768 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,479 Speaker 4: Yeah I did, Okay, I was driving in when y'all 769 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:47,920 Speaker 4: were playing. 770 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 3: It was so it was so cute to buy the 771 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,560 Speaker 3: pick a ball ornament in ashvill because we played pickaball 772 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 3: in Asheville and on the ornament it says stay out 773 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,279 Speaker 3: of the kitchen. And if you've played, you know that, 774 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,640 Speaker 3: like that's the area, yiky, you're not supposed to be in. 775 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,319 Speaker 3: It's cute anyway. I wish we would have still gone 776 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:05,200 Speaker 3: to Sana, Nevada, because I learned that when it's cold, 777 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 3: they have like fire pits and blankets and stuff, and 778 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, that's the vibe I want. I want to 779 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 3: be around a fire pit with a blanket playing cards. 780 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,960 Speaker 3: So that's my only man. I wish we would have 781 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,720 Speaker 3: done that, but I thought it would have just been cold. 782 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,520 Speaker 3: I didn't know they had like fire pits and stuff, 783 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:20,200 Speaker 3: so I didn't want to go sit there be cold. 784 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:21,920 Speaker 1: And also not even for beer. 785 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,760 Speaker 2: Hey, another reason to go back and plan another girl's 786 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 2: trip or something just for fun. 787 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:31,040 Speaker 3: So we'll do my year anniversary batcherette trip. So now 788 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:32,880 Speaker 3: we're talking about this is so extravagant. Well, this is 789 00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,520 Speaker 3: what we're adding. So I hope this was helpful to 790 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,200 Speaker 3: anybody who's ever felt pressure being in any of those positions. 791 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 3: I'm sure we've all either either have been married or 792 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 3: you know somebody who's been married, and so this can 793 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:46,759 Speaker 3: come with a lot of emotions and come back to 794 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 3: the point that, like, this is a celebratory time, and 795 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,360 Speaker 3: we have the ability to ask to be celebrated in 796 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,319 Speaker 3: a way that makes sense to us, and if the 797 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,760 Speaker 3: people around us can't do that, that's okay. 798 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,880 Speaker 1: We can also respect that, and we're also allowed to 799 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: have feelings and be sad about it. 800 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,799 Speaker 3: However, we want you to have the batcheorette that you 801 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,359 Speaker 3: need to have. I see what you did there. Yeah, 802 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:07,560 Speaker 3: that just came to me out of. 803 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 2: The wedding that you need to have. Yeah, have the 804 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 2: birthday that you need to have. Yeah, and then ultimately 805 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,239 Speaker 2: have the day that you need to have. 806 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, And when it all comes to the end, have 807 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:18,600 Speaker 1: the day you need to have. 808 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 3: Okay, Guys, if you have any questions, this would be 809 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 3: a really fun feedback episode if you have any experiences, 810 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,600 Speaker 3: good or bad in being able to ask for what 811 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,680 Speaker 3: you want. I mean kind of like how Amy was 812 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 3: sharing with the things you've gotten from the show. If 813 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,560 Speaker 3: you have any stories that might be helpful for people 814 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,960 Speaker 3: to hear, things in ways that you've stood up for yourself, 815 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 3: or ways that you really respected somebody saying like hey 816 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,520 Speaker 3: I can't do this but I still love you, or 817 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,319 Speaker 3: just wild things I would love to hear them. You 818 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,320 Speaker 3: can email me Catherine at You Need Therapy podcast dot com. 819 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 3: Where can people find you Amy if they'd just have 820 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 3: no idea who you are? 821 00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:03,280 Speaker 2: Radio Amy is my handle on Instagram and TikTok and Twitter. 822 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:05,640 Speaker 1: Are you pretty active on TikTok's nice? X? 823 00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:06,680 Speaker 4: Not Twitter but X. 824 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 2: I'm not active on X and I'm occasionally posting to TikTok. 825 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,520 Speaker 2: I more so, just watch the videos Cat sends me 826 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 2: on TikTok that are fun and funny or educational or whatever. 827 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 4: You always come across good stuff. 828 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,839 Speaker 2: And then radio me dot com is a place where 829 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,319 Speaker 2: you can, yeah, learn things, see things, find things, all 830 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:27,800 Speaker 2: the things. 831 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,160 Speaker 1: And you have a podcast. 832 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:30,800 Speaker 4: It's called four Things with Amy Brown. 833 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 2: Cat co hosts the Fifth Thing with Me every Tuesday, 834 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,400 Speaker 2: which is the bonus episode. It's a four Things podcast, 835 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,600 Speaker 2: So Fifth Thing is like the extra do. 836 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:40,080 Speaker 1: You feel weird? 837 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,440 Speaker 3: Shouting out your own stuff. Yeah, okay, I can tell okay, 838 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,280 Speaker 3: you're like, if you really want, I don't really post, 839 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,920 Speaker 3: but uh, I have a podcast that sometimes comes out 840 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:50,319 Speaker 3: twice a. 841 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:51,800 Speaker 4: Week, but mostly on Instagram. 842 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,320 Speaker 2: I've just been I don't post that much on TikTok, 843 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 2: but Instagram's your jam. I go to social media for posting. 844 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,120 Speaker 2: But and yeah, TikTok has good content to take in. 845 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:03,840 Speaker 2: Where do you spend the most time. 846 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 1: On Instagram TikTok is? 847 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,919 Speaker 3: I can post something on there every once in a while, 848 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,200 Speaker 3: but you know that one time I went viral wasn't 849 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:13,680 Speaker 3: worth it, and so that's really scary. And also, I 850 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,640 Speaker 3: just like the interaction seems more cohesive on Instagram. 851 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,520 Speaker 1: And maybe that's because we're millennials. Probably I'm like, I 852 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,760 Speaker 1: don't know how to work with the TikTok. 853 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,799 Speaker 3: Anyway, I hope you guys have the day you need 854 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 3: to have if you want to find me. If you 855 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,759 Speaker 3: haven't yet, followed on Instagram at cat dot Defada and 856 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,360 Speaker 3: at You Need Therapy podcast. You can also follow my 857 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 3: therapy practice at three Chords Therapy. So many handles, No 858 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 3: wonder you're over on Instagram and instatter follow Yes, follow 859 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 3: them all, well, I only have to manage really one 860 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 3: of them, and I don't do that that well anyway, 861 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 3: I will talk to you guys on Wednesday, hopefully with 862 00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:57,040 Speaker 3: some more batcherette content or cap chalks by I